Strip Snap

Chp 32


Love, Desire and Need


“What do we do next, Miss Buffy?” William asked wearily. He was watching as the Slayer stroked Spike’s hair, holding him tightly against her body as if she would never let him go. He could feel the tenderness, the tension in each stroke; imagine the sensation of the rough blond curls under his fingers, almost as if he, himself, were touching his brother. Did he feel jealous? Oddly, no. Since the joint claiming, he knew the four of them were joined in a way that had nothing to do with sexual attraction.

He had enjoyed every moment of the times they had made love since he arrived in this strange new world, but he realised he had no desire in his body for her now. Love, yes, but desire? No. The only desire he had now was, strangely, a longing to go home, back to Victorian England, where even though he hadn’t had a life full of excitement, it had been his life, to do with as he chose.

“Yes, Buffy – “ Dawn’s voice was a mere thread but at least she was now on her feet, although her face was white from the strain of the past few minutes. “ – the guys are still three separate bodies.”

“I have to go back to my own time, Miss Buffy. And soon. I feel I am dying in this world.” William’s eyelids were drooping over the soft sapphire eyes that were so like Spike’s and yet so very different in the effect they caused. “This situation must come to an end.”

Buffy nodded wearily, feeling his pain as if it was her own, wishing Spike would speak. He was conscious, his blue eyes blazing up at her, but so far he hadn’t spoken. Demon, on the other hand, was moaning and threshing on the floor, as if in great pain.

“OK, I know. I just need a moment – then – “ she picked up the ornate metal rod that had caused so much trouble – “I’m sure I can use the dividing thingy the other way round. If one way splits you, then the reverse should squish you all back into one.”

“But will William just – vanish?” Dawn knelt outside the bars and slid her hand through to touch the quiet vampire. He squeezed her fingers and smiled.

“I am learning more about the dividing rod every time it is used,” he said and Buffy glanced at him sharply, her eyes very green in the dim light. She didn’t see how that was possible, but he said it with such authority that Dawn just nodded. “I believe that I will find myself back in England, in my own time, before I meet Liam, Dru and Darla.”

“But won’t you remember any of this? Won’t you remember me and Buffy?” She sounded sad. Yet another person in her life was going away. This time it would be for ever and this was someone she liked very much indeed.

The man who would one day in the past become William the Bloody shook his head. “I doubt it, Miss Dawn. But who knows. When we meet again in Sunnydale, you told me we became friends very quickly.”

Dawn nodded, her eyes dark pools of concern in her white face. “I always liked Spike. He never treated me as if I was just a kid.”

William squeezed her fingers again. “Well, perhaps this is why! When I become Spike, part of me deep down will remember what happened here and so we will find it simple to be friends right from the start.”

Dawn seemed comforted and Buffy found herself smiling, too. It made a certain sort of sense, even to her. Then she glanced down at Spike and her smile faded. Why wouldn’t he speak to her? The fire that blazed out of his eyes was directed at her alone. She knew what that passion meant and her whole being thrilled to it. But she also knew that whenever she used the dividing rod, she was tempting fate. Buffy had never had great confidence in any of the demon artefacts she’d had to work with in the past. OK, this one had been efficient – sort of – up till now, but at any time it could explode or vanish and kill them all.

She sent her senses flying outwards, tendrils of emotion and feeling seeking their mates. Love, desire and need – she could feel them all from her three claimed loves. It poured through her and over her and she wondered if she could ever feel this happy again.

Buffy stretched her mind further and isolated William – warm, loving, compassionate, a poet’s sensitive mind, an honourable man whose loyalty she would never doubt. She reached out to find Spike and Demon – and almost passed out as she was met by a fierce jumble of desire, anger, passion, hurt, rage and menace and an overwhelming need…..she remembered the old prophecy that had started this whole train of events, “past and present merged must be by love, desire and need times three.”

Well, all of those she could feel in her three boys and the strongest of those was need….a need to be loved that transcended everything else. And suddenly she knew exactly where this overpowering emotion was coming from.

Trapped inside Demon’s body, the part of Spike that still existed was struggling to make his girl understand. The man she was holding so tenderly across her lap, the man whose hair she was stroking, was pure Demon. Not Spike, not even William, but the demon who’d entered his body when he’d been sired.

Spike didn’t think Demon would harm Buffy; she had claimed all of them; she was part of them now. But he couldn’t be certain. He could sense a dreadful need in his darker brother – a need that only Buffy could fulfil. And if she couldn’t – or wouldn’t – what would Demon do? Spike could sense the anger broiling away inside the body that had been his until so recently, an anger that Spike was used to, had managed to harness over the years and keep under control. But now that part of him was alive and free from all the restraints the William part had placed on him. And he was lying in the arms of the woman they all loved!

But as bad as Demon was, or could be, he was part of them and Spike would always protect him with his life. But what if Buffy didn’t realise - he had no way of telling her. The body he was in refused to speak and, oddly, he could see that Demon was having the same problem.

Buffy pulled her hair free from the band holding it off her face. She wasn’t afraid – she didn’t think she would ever feel real fear again. How could she when she was supported by this love that would never waver or change? But what she was going to do next was dangerous – she knew that. And this time she definitely didn’t want Dawn involved.

“Dawn – do you feel well enough to warm up some blood for William?” she asked. “There’s some in the freezer. Just defrost it. He must eat before - before he goes back.”

Her sister looked at her suspiciously. There was a note in Buffy’s voice that puzzled her. “You won’t send William away before I say goodbye, will you?”

Buffy smiled at her. “No. I promise.”

“Shall I do enough for all three of them?”

“Hey, yes, great idea. They all need to eat.” The longer Dawn was away upstairs, the better.

Silence fell as the teenager’s footsteps faded and the door to the basement slammed shut behind her. Buffy took a deep breath and reached over Spike’s body to where Demon lay, long, greasy hair threshing, yellow skinned, taloned hands stretching out to her. Without hesitation she caught one of the flailing hands and stared down into the slitted golden eyes that gleamed up at her under bony brows.

“Listen to me – believe me - I understand!” she whispered, half aloud and half in her head. A torrent of emotion flooded her mind and she fought to keep her concentration. She had to make him back off, otherwise they were heading for disaster. “You once asked me if I trusted you. I said never. But now I do. With our lives. So do you trust me? Will you trust me?”

The hand tightened around hers until the pain was almost unbearable, then, slowly, it relaxed. Demon’s threshing ceased and he lay still, gazing up at her. Buffy could feel the passion and desire gentle down and knew that, for the moment, she could go ahead.

Taking a deep breath she let go the hand and eased herself back to Spike’s body. She bent over him, her long blonde hair swinging down across her cheeks to touch the face she loved so much.

Blue eyes blazed up at her; it was uncanny – he looked like Spike, felt like Spike – but every nerve cell in her body was telling her that this was Demon.

She touched her lips to his – the sensation sent tremors flooding through her body. Her grip on him tightened and part of her knew that any ordinary guy would have been wincing in agony by now. The mouth under hers was eager, questing, but it wasn’t Spike’s kiss. She shut her eyes and let her lips move across his and their tongues dance. Then she broke the contact, reached up and placed her hands on either side of his face.

‘Demon - ?’ she said softly inside her head. ‘I know it’s you.’

No words answered her, but a rush of feelings and emotions: fear, hunger, confusion and – most of all – need, cascaded through her veins. The power was such she swayed where she sat; listening to a roaring in her head, the basement circling round as giddiness overcame her. She took another deep breath.

‘You don’t need to hide from me. You are me. I’m you. I know you need me, need Spike and William. And I need you. More than you will ever realise. You’re what makes Spike himself. You’re what gives him the passion for life and love that William never had. You’re what makes him the man he is. If he didn’t have you inside him, even if he spends all his time keeping you under control, then he wouldn’t be the man I love. So he needs you, William needs you, I need you!’

Pain and doubt clouded her mind and from deep beneath the swirling emotions, Buffy could hear one word clearly, ‘Me?’

She understood immediately on every level – as part of this quartet, as a woman and as a Slayer who had always wanted to be loved as Buffy Summers, not just because of what she was. Demon, living inside this body, melded with William to become Spike, had no identity of his own. Now, for the first time in how many years, he was separate and wanted to know, before he was sent back into the dark once more, Am I loved? Who needs me?

‘Yes, you. Part of Spike, part of me now. Together. Need you always.’ The thoughts flowed from Buffy and she knew that both Demon and Spike could hear them.

Slowly the violent feelings ebbed away and Buffy bent her head and kissed the mouth that was Spike’s - but not - knowing Demon would realise this kiss, this gesture of love, was for him alone.

A door slammed, Dawn clattered down the stairs, holding mugs of blood precariously in each hand. She came into the cage, gave one to William and then hesitated, staring down at Spike and Demon.

“Buffy?”

“Go ahead, Dawnie. They won’t hurt you. They must feed.”

“Does Demon drink blood? I mean, he isn’t a vampire, is he? And I know he’s part of the whole Spike/William thingy, but he’s still a bit icky, isn’t he?”

Buffy helped Spike/Demon to sit up, leaning against the bars of the cage. “Feed Spike,” she said to Dawn and taking the third mug, she put her hand under Demon/Spike’s greasy head and held the liquid to his lips.

Yellow eyes flashed up at her as he drank and she could hear myriad thank-yous in her head from everyone!

“When are you going to do it?” Dawn asked at last.

“Now,” Buffy said briefly. There was no point in waiting. Her boys were getting weaker the longer they were apart. She turned to William. “Is that OK with you?”

He reached up a slender hand and grasped her arm. “Certainly, Miss Buffy.”

“William – ” she hesitated. What could she say? That the time they’d spent together on the island had been wonderful. That she would always remember him because he was part of her. Jeez, there weren’t words invented to express how she felt.

He smiled, the blue of his eyes as gentle as a summer breeze. “We have already met, don’t forget, Miss Buffy,” he said. “Why do you think you never killed me when you had the chance? Why did we have that instant attraction, right from the very beginning? I think it was because the me part of Spike remembered this in some way. What do you say in these strange times, “we had history”?

“How will we know you get back safely to your own time?” Dawn asked, her voice concerned.

William clambered to his feet, holding on to the bars of the cage for support. He took Dawn’s hand, raised it to his lips and kissed it. “Because Spike exists,” he said simply. “I go back now and one day soon, in my world, I meet Dru, Liam and Darla.” He turned to Buffy and for a second, Spike’s wicked, sexy expression came into his eyes. “I just wish I would have time to show Cecily some of the things I have learnt while I was here! But when it happens, I will be glad and go willingly, because somewhere inside me I will know what awaits me in the future.”

He sank to his knees and put his arms round Spike and Demon, holding them close to his chest. “Do it quickly, Miss Buffy, and remember. We are now all one.”

Buffy picked up the Ferula-Gemina, twirled it round like a baton and pointed it at the three men she loved so dearly. There was a brilliant yellow flash, the room shuddered and when the smoke cleared, only one body lay on the floor.

She wasn’t in any doubt; she could feel with every nerve ending who it was, but even so she felt a small pang of relief when he opened his eyes, raked fingers through the platinum curls and said, “OK, Slayer. I’m back!”

Buffy went to wrap her arms round him, then stopped. Dawn had flung herself at Spike and was hugging him. He was staring at Buffy over the top of the teenager’s dark head and Buffy’s heart and stomach flipped. There were a lot of questions in those eyes and she had a feeling that he wasn’t going to be too happy with some of her replies!

To be concluded. Final chp follows soon.