The world had stopped for Buffy.

He was there in front of her. She could see him clearly. He was leaning against the doorframe in that familiar cocky way. He was wearing a black suit, with a black shirt underneath. His ever-present duster hung over his lean frame, slightly throwing off the effect of the suit. His lips curved up into a small smile. His eyes seemed to drink her in. She could see the love and desire shouting out at her in his gaze.

Time started again, only it seemed to be moving in slow motion.

She tried to breathe, but found herself gasping again. She looked over at Angel to see if he saw what she did, but he was still just staring at her with that sad look in his eyes.

‘Oh, god.’ Buffy thought to herself hysterically. ‘This isn’t real. I’m just hallucinating again. Not this, anything but this.’

Her knees gave out from under her and she felt herself begin to fall under the tsunami of emotions rolling through her. She looked back at the Spike vision as time speeded up and the floor rushed to meet her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Angel reach out to catch her, since he was right next to her, but before he could even touch her the Spike vision crossed the balcony with a speed unnatural even for a vampire. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her up and to him before she could hit the floor, growling at Angel for his attempt.

Angel lowered his hands and back farther away from them.

At the feeling of Spike’s arms holding her, sobs began to escape Buffy.

He was solid.

He was real.

She clutched his coat and pulled him tighter against her crying wildly as her emotions completely overtook her. She was never going to let him go again.

‘If this is a dream, please don’t let me wake up. I can’t take losing him again.’

Buffy could feel him rubbing her back, comforting her. As her sobbing slowed she could hear his voice in her ear.

“Shhh. Its ok, Pet. I promise, its all ok.”

After a few minutes, Buffy slowly pulled herself together and became fully aware of what was going on.

Over Spike’s shoulder she could see Dawn, Xander, Willow and Clem standing in the doorway looking at her happily. A few feet behind them was a very worried looking Giles, with a new glass of scotch. Angel was now on the far side of the balcony, watching them, his face thoughtful and pensive.

Suddenly, she pulled back from Spike’s arms sniffling. She used the back of her hand to wipe the tears from her face as she stared into his eyes reassuring herself that this was indeed her Spike.

“Spike?” She questioned quietly.

He smiled at her warmly.

“Yeah, Slayer.”

“You’re real.”

“Yeah, I believe I am.”

“But are you really here…to stay?”

His smile grew bigger.

“For as long as you want me. And probably a few days after that.”

She smiled back at him so sweetly, so very sweetly. He was lost in her.

He never saw the fist coming for his face. He flew backwards through the picture window next to the door and onto the ground. For a few seconds he lay there stunned, before that was replaced with the outraged anger she knew so well.

“What the BLOODY HELL was that?” He growled at her.
She stalked towards him, her face a mask of rage. As she approached him voices filtered through her red haze.

“Uh Buff, you break it, you fix it!!!” Xander nervously was saying.

“Buffy, stop…” Dawn’s voice pleading with her.

“Should I stop her?” Willow uncertain as to whether or not she should use her magic here.

“Oh, Bloody hell.” Giles probably worried about what the Council was thinking of the loud crashing noises.

And off to her left, the sound of chuckling.

Buffy stopped and turned quickly to face Angel.

“You want to tell me what is so funny right now Angel?” Her voice came out cold and deadly. The amusement on his face quickly disappeared at the daggers that were shooting out of her eyes.

She walked over to him standing right in front of him, only a few inches away. Her eyes bored into his.

“How long?” She demanded.

He didn’t even have to ask what she was talking about.

“Last month, when they called Cordelia back, the left HIM in her place.” He explained bitterly.

Buffy sucker punched him in the stomach. As he doubled over in pain she looked over and met Giles’ gaze. He stepped back at the anger he saw directed at him.

“You knew.” Her voice came out at a growl.

“Yes.” Giles told her. He sounded defeated.

“I wouldn’t let him tell you, Buffy.” Angel’s voice came weakly from behind her as he struggled to stand upright again. She was going to dispense more of her anger at Angel when she noticed Spike standing again in the frame of the broken window. When her gaze turned back on him fully, he evidently decided he didn’t want to be that close to the broken wood and stepped back into the house.

“Slayer…” He began.

Before he could finish she lifted the skirt of her dress out of her way and leaped over and kicked him in the chest. He flew into a wall.

"That's for waiting a MONTH to tell me you were back,” She yelled.

He was getting seriously pissed. Damn, stubborn, hotheaded woman, if she would just stop and listen. Of course, her stubbornness was one of the things he loved most about her. Even still she could have at least heard him out.

"Now listen here..." He began. Another fist came at his face.

He dodged it and tried to grab her, but she spun away doing a maneuver he didn't know. She grabbed his arm swung him around into the wall face first this time and punched him again in the ribs.

"Oh I'm sorry,” She said sweetly. "I've been spending the last year training while you were busy playing dead."

She got another punch in his ribs.

"That's for getting 'terrified' and bailing the first chance you got.”

He sensed the fist coming and managed to duck before it could connect with his skull. He spun around just in time for her knee to connect with his groin. He hit the ground with a moan.

"You even got to play the part of the martyr so I couldn't be mad at you!!!" She pulled him up by his shirt.

"I couldn't get out." He managed to yell trying to get past the haze of pain. "You knew there was no getting out of there for me. I was already on fire Luv."

He almost pleaded with her. "Remember your hand?"

She hesitated for a split second. He moved instantly, he tried to pin her hands so she couldn't attack him again. She got away from his grip easily.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY!!!" She looked at him and he backed up against the wall frozen at the rage and pain in her eyes.

He couldn't help but wonder if she was going to pull a stake and send him back where he came from. Wouldn't that just be his bloody luck?

By now the rest of the gang had come slowly up the stairs. Buffy was aware that everyone was watching them as she stood in front of him.

He seemed to have given up the idea of trying to fight her and just watched her warily; head cocked to the side, to see what was next.

"This is for telling me I didn't love you." She whispered and smacked him as hard as she could with a closed fist across his jaw. All of her pain and anger went into that blow and he flew to the ground.

"What?!?!" He asked incredulously as soon as he could speak again. He looked up at her, his eyes wide, blood running down his chin from a cut lip. He knew he couldn't have heard her right.

He slowly pulled himself up, wiping the blood off his face.

Instead of answering him she looked back at the others who were still watching them as he stood up. All of them looked concerned, but no one made a move to get in between them.

"Spike..." She turned back to him. He flinched a bit away from her, but his eyes never left her.

"William" She said only loud enough for him to hear. She watched his face carefully.

"I...love...you." She yelled it loud so everyone, even the ones who weren't the whole way up the stairs could hear her. He stared at her in complete shock.

"I am telling you in front of my friends and family. I love you. Do you believe me now?" Her voice broke and last part came out as a whisper, but he heard it.

“I love you.”

Her head dropped down, when she looked up again there were tears in her eyes.

"I thought you only said that because I was dying." He said finally, his voice sounded raw with emotion, his eyes were wet with his own unshed tears. His face was confused and hopeful and so scared all at once.

"You really are an idiot, you know. I told you that because I loved you." She said looking into his blue eyes that she never thought she'd see again. They searched her eyes, looking for the truth of her words. She answered him with all the love in her heart.

"You know I love you." He said with a smile.

She smiled back at him. She reached out and gently wiped the blood that started welling up again off his lip.

"Well I love you, too." She told him

All of a sudden his hands were on her waist lifting her up and spinning her around while he laughed delightedly. She put her hands on his shoulders and laughed with him while he spun her around. Their eyes never left each other.


Angel felt his heart break at the sound of their laughter. It was a sound that would cost him his soul, the sound of true happiness. He knew now that he and Buffy would never be together again. Willow smiled at him sadly as he walked off the balcony towards her. She squeezed his shoulder in sympathy and he nodded his thanks at her concern. He turned back to look at the two of them still spinning.

Just for a second Angel thought he saw a glowing, silver wrapping around them and down in between them. As soon as he registered it, it was gone. He figured it was just a trick of his eyes seeing her blonde hair and his black coat floating out from behind them.

Then he looked over a Willow who had a thoughtful look on her face.


Spike put Buffy down before they got too dizzy. He held her close to him as they stared at each other then pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. She fell into his kiss as the world around them flew away.

Dawn, Clem and Andrew clapped their hands and cheered.

Willow and Xander smiled at each other as Willow wrapped her arm around Kennedy's waist.

"So was that some kind of Slayer mating ritual?" Gunn asked Wesley.

Wesley just shook his head.

"I think they're sweet." Fred said smiling up at Wesley who squeezed her hand lightly.



Buffy's entire body tingled. She was more aware of him than she had ever been before. His hands were on her waist holding her close to him, while his lean body was pressed up against her. Her hands were flat on his chest and she could feel his muscles beneath them through the layers of clothing that covered him.

Spike's lips were soft on hers and yet demanding. She had refused them her love for so long and now they were greedy for it.

Kisses between them in the past, when she allowed him the intimacy of kissing her, had always been an angry, violent duel between them. This was something else entirely.

She explored his mouth with her lips like she was kissing him for the first time. She could feel their cool texture. She opened her mouth and ran her tongue lightly over his lips needing to savor the taste of him.


She heard as well as felt him growl in his chest as he opened his mouth and tangled his tongue with hers.

Almost moaning Buffy wrapped her arms around his head pulling him closer to her. She felt like she could just melt into him. She tangled her hands in his hair as his hands held her tightly to him. Both were lost, completely oblivious to all her friends.

Then she Faith's voice cut through into her desire filled bubble.

"Way to go, B. He said you had it in you."

Blushing Buffy pulled away suddenly feeling light headed at the loss of contact. She saw the feeling reflected back at her in his eyes. His lips were parted slightly and he was breathing rapidly, forgetting that he didn't need oxygen.

Announcing to everyone she loved him was one thing, this was another.

"Uh, guys could you leave us alone for a few minutes?" As she turned around to face her friends she took a shaky step towards them. He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist again and pulled her back into him. Her voice had come out very breathy and she shivered at the feeling of his strong arms around her.

Faith laughed at the sound of her voice as she descended the stairs.

"All we need now is Anya here to comment on the situation." Buffy said wryly knowing she was blushing. Spike chuckled in her ear.

Xander nodded and laughed having also heard her comment.

"Actually, Buff, by now she would probably be pulling me into our room after that show." He said.

She blushed even harder.

"Just so you remember, Buffy...” he said as he turned and walked down the stairs with Willow and Kennedy.

"I know if I break I have to fix it." She recited in a sing-song voice, wishing they would all just go away now.

“Yep, and you can get started on that window tomorrow.”

Willow turned back and gave her a big knowing smile. "We'll see you guys soon, right?"

“The sooner you guys go, the sooner we’ll be down.” Buffy told her.

“Right. Of course.” Willow said.

Angel walked slowly over to Giles. Buffy felt a small twinge of sympathy for him, but she wouldn't dwell on that now.

"Does she have to make a production out of everything?" She heard Kennedy ask Willow as they descended the stairs.


Buffy rolled her eyes and resisted the temptation to push a heavy marble statue down the stairs after Kennedy. She looked over at Dawn and the sisters exchanged an evil grin, knowing they were both thinking the same thing.

"Buffy, er, I didn't mean to keep this from you..."Giles began awkwardly, interrupting her Kennedy hating.

"Giles," she said firmly, "You and I will talk about this tomorrow, not tonight, Ok?"

"Yes, perhaps that’s for the best." He said as meekly as a school child in trouble.

"This is really all my fault, Buffy." Angel said quietly.

Buffy sighed impatiently, ready to push them down the stairs.

"I don't really care right now guys. Tomorrow."

Angel looked at her for a moment. "We want you to be happy, Buffy. More than anything that's what we want."

Buffy felt the twinge of sympathy for him again; this couldn't be easy right after losing Cordelia. She softened her tone.

"I know. Can we please just leave it for tomorrow? Please?" She practically begged.

He nodded and he and Giles headed downstairs together leaving Dawn and Clem still bouncing excitedly at the top of the stairs.

"Don't think you two are going to stay up here all night and miss the party." Dawn said suddenly serious. "You can have sex anytime..."

Buffy felt Spike freeze in shock at Dawn's words.

"...but tonight is our celebration, of, well, everything." She grinned the cute Dawn grin at them quickly, and then it faded as she looked sternly at them.

"And you both will be there." She finished firmly.

"We will be, now go." Buffy said turning back towards Spike.

"And Spike later on we can catch up. I'll tell you what you've been missing on Passions and about Dawson's Creek. Did you know it ended last year?" Clem added.

"WHAT?!?!”

Spike’s shout of outrage made Buffy look up at him, irritated that he just yelled in her ear, but he didn’t even notice.

“No more Dawson's Creek? What happened with Joey and Pacey? Or did she choose that idiot Dawson?"

Buffy’s irritation soon changed to amusement listening to him rant over his show.

When Spike noticed Buffy and Dawn's amused looks he quickly tried to cover.

"Right. We'll be downstairs soon I promise..." He finished shortly.

Dawn and Clem finally turned and reluctantly headed down the stairs.

He chuckled again in her ear. "When did your sister get so unbelievably scary, again?" He asked her. She smiled.

"I don't know. I blame some of her childhood influences." She said, looking pointedly at him. He had the sense to duck his head sheepishly.

"If you two aren't down here in 20 minutes..." Dawn’s voice called up to them.

"Dawn, if you go now you can raid my closet for the next week without asking." She didn't even turn around to yell back at her sister. The sound of heels running down the stairs was her answer.

"Come here" She said, laughing as she pulled him through the doorway back onto the balcony.

"Are you going to hit me again?"

She laughed. "I would say 'no', but this is you we're talking about."


She closed her eyes and let the warm night air blow over her skin. She could feel the summer stars above her shining brightly. She held on to the rail of the balcony tightly as if to anchor herself and leaned back against him as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

"So...."

"So..."

"You're the new walkie-talkie for the Powers?"

"It seems that way. Haven't had a vision yet. From what I hear they aren't too much fun, but it can't be worse than that bloody chip."

"How did this happen?"

He laughed quietly.

"Well, I died, again, as you may remember." He rubbed his jaw, which really ached. She gave him an almost apologetic smile.

He just shook his head at her and continued.

"Then who do I meet up with but Darla and Cordelia in the afterlife. That was just a barrel of fun, let me tell you. They got to drag me all around reality and back to cleanse me of my past misdeeds and a bunch of other nonsense and had way too much fun annoying the piss out of me along the way."

Buffy looked pretty amused at that.

"So that's why you were gone for so long?"

"Yeah, I had quite a lot of misdeeds to atone for as I'm sure you can imagine." He said.

She didn't even bother to respond to that.

"I had forgotten what a pain Darla was and that, Cordelia, wasn't too much better. Bloody Angelus and his high maintenance women." At her tensing up he realized what he said.

"Oh I didn't mean you, pet." He said apologetically.

He continued wonderingly as he stared at the trees ahead of him.

"You're a Queen; beautiful, commanding, powerful. They are just whining, spoiled princesses next to you." He finished derisively.

She turned and looked up at him wide-eyed at what he just said.

'Bloody William and his poetry', Spike thought.

"Uh right," he continued, relieved he couldn't blush at least. "Once I was forgiven and purged of my sins and all that rot it was time for me to move on with Darla, not to hell mind you, I got a get out of hell free card, at least. It was like some sort Purgatory, working for the Powers, like a civil servant. Cordelia was to come back and do her job here as walkie-talkie.

Only your then your mum steps in and makes some appeal on my behalf to be allowed where she and Glinda were on the higher planes."

"My mom. You saw my mom?" Buffy turned in his arms to watch him as talked.

"Yeah. Evidently she, Glinda, and a couple of others somehow got together to try and help me." His voice was wondering as he remembered his surprise that anyone would care enough about what happened to him to stand up for him, much less Joyce of all people, especially after what he had done to her daughter.

"Your mum told me how proud of you and Dawn she is. She's been watching from up there. She kept me up to date on what you two were up to." Buffy smiled thinking of her Mother with Tara on the higher planes watching over them.

Spike paused for a few moments and studied her closely.

"She told me you made a point to talk to me every night." She smiled up at him and nodded "but I thought that was just your stupid Slayer nobility", he continued "not because you actually missed...OW!!"

He exclaimed as she leaned forward and bit him hard on his chest.

"Sorry, but you were being stupid again." She smiled up at him, cheerily.

"You didn't want me to hit you." She added innocently, blinking her eyes as if to further her proof.

Her eyes widened when she felt him harden against her and realized just how much she preferred these dress pants to his usual jean.

"If you have any hopes of us making down to that party, luv, I would recommend we not resort to biting." He almost purred in her ear.

She was suddenly aware of those hands on her waist; his thumb was rubbing her hip through the light material. Her own hands were moving slowly and softly over his arms up to his neck. One hand came up to lightly stroke his cheek as she looked into his eyes.

Now wasn't the time. She shook her head to clear it and took a step back.

"My mom..." She reminded.

"Your mom?" He asked his voice still low. He was still caught up in that energy. Not really believing at that moment he wasn't in heaven. Buffy was standing in his arms looking at him with such love.

"Spike." She used the exasperated tone she knew would get his attention.

"Your mum!! Right, thanks. Um, she's on the higher planes with the others, in a good place and she thought I should be there with them. The Powers seemed like they might agree with that when suddenly the Cheerleader gets all bent out shape and starts crying about not wanting to go back after everything
that had happened to her and how it wouldn't be fair for them to let me move on Yada, yada."

"What happened to Cordelia?" Buffy interrupted curiously, she really wanted to know what the back story was there.

"That's not really my story tell. Its between her, Darla, and Angel."

"Fine." Buffy said, trying not to get irritated.

'Someday I really want to know what went on there.' She thought to herself.

"So wait", suddenly she realized where he was going with this. "The Powers made you come back instead of moving on? They made you replace Cordelia instead of being in heaven?" Her eyes began to tear in pain for him. "I'm so sorry, Spike."

"Made me?" He snorted. "Hardly. The wankers gave me a "choice", but if that opportunity hadn't come up I would have found another way to come back."

"What?" She asked surprised. "You could have moved on and been at peace. Hello, heaven? Why would you want to come back?"

He didn't answer her, he pulled out of her arms and walked to the railing and looked out at the dark woods.

"This place is really beautiful. I never spent too much time in these parts." He said trying to change the subject.

Buffy came over and put a hand on his shoulder and turned him to face her.

He looked down at his feet. "I never even considered it, you know." He said quietly, "It wasn't even an option. It wasn't going to be Heaven for me, it couldn't. Not without..."

As his voice trailed off he looked at her, his eyes wet with unshed tears.

It hit her, what he was saying. Tears welled up in her eyes and she took his face in her hands. She pulled him towards her and slowly kissed him as the tears ran down both their faces.

As their kiss deepened, she remembered that they were on a time limit and Dawn would be up soon. With a groan she pulled herself away abruptly. He whimpered as he felt her step away and went to grab her back to him, but she danced out of his reach.

"Now, I want to know why you waited a month, before seeing me or telling me you were alive." She switched the subject to a topic that wasn't going to make her want to kiss him.

He gave her a wry look.

"When I first got back they weren't quite sure what to make of me. Angel wasn't exactly jumping for joy that I replaced Cordelia. Also there had been a bit of trouble last year when she came back from the higher planes, part of that other business..."

"Which I can't know about..." She interrupted frustrated.

He continued on as if he didn't hear her.

"They wanted to make sure I wasn't going to pull a repeat."

"And we're going to get to the part about not telling Buffy when?"

"They didn't want to tell you until they were sure they weren't going to have to kill me again. They didn't want to put you through that. I didn't argue too much because I knew that I wasn't evil and I knew from your mom that you were Ok and happy. If anything happened to change that Angel would be one of the first people to know and I could be here quickly if you needed me."

He frowned. "Plus Peaches seemed to need the time to adjust to the situation.

It wasn't like I was expecting any of this when I saw you again. I figured you had moved on to have your normal life, with a normal guy."

"So if you weren't expecting this, why would you choose come back?" Buffy asked him confused.

"It's where I belong. I told you I would never leave you." He shrugged helplessly.

If he didn't stop being so sweet she was going to forget the party and probably scar her little sister when she came up to get them.

Time to change topics again. Something that wouldn’t make her think about him naked.

"Since when do you care about how Angel's feeling?" She asked him.

"Its one of the bloody side effects of this soul. He pouts and I actually feel sorry for the Poof."

Buffy wondered for the millionth time what had happened to Angel. She knew they had grown apart, but evidently she missed some very critical things if even Spike was worried about him. Maybe she should try and talk to him later.

"Its alright, luv." He said, reading her mind, it thrilled her he could still do that. "He'll be ok."

She could see he was trying not to look concerned.

She smiled when she realized she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I know. He's my friend, though, and I'm worried about him."


She put emphasis on the word friend. She remembered when he told her that she and Angel would never be friends because of their love.

"Buffy?" He asked quietly.

"I love you." She answered firmly.

He moved closer and put his arms around her again.

"I think it may take a while before it sinks in and I believe you."

"Well, I'll just have to work on convincing you then." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He pulled her close and bent down to kiss her. She tensed in anticipation of feeling his lips again.

"Ok you two, times up."

Buffy glared over at her sister and Clem.

"I'm sorry guys, I didn't want to interrupt you, but she said it was our duty to make sure you made it to the party." Clem explained.

Buffy sighed in defeat and looked at Spike; he shrugged at her in response.

"Ok Dawn, we're ready to go to the party."

"Not like that you aren't. Your hair is a mess again, plus your eye makeup is even more smeared. You need to fix yourself up." She walked over and looked at Spike.

"You should take off the coat and stay a while." She said sarcastically.

Spike smiled down at her. "You know Nibblet, you are getting to be as beautiful and as bossy as your sister."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"I seem to recall it was 'commanding' a few minutes ago." Buffy teased him about his poetic slip earlier. "Although, I have to agree with her on losing the coat and staying awhile.”

“You weren't planning on going anywhere were you?" Buffy asked him.

"Not unless you are." He answered her.

"Come on you put you coat on the couch." She pulled away from him and walked over to the doors leading to her living room. She tried to ignore the feeling of loss that went through her when she let go of him.

She walked into her living room and heard Spike gasp at the opulence of her suite. Buffy grinned at him.

"Like my new home?"


"God, pet, this is all yours?"

"Yep, I had to redecorate it of course. Before it was filled with all this ancient, gaudy stuff from like the Victorian era."

Spike gave her a side glance.

"So, you think the Victorian era is ancient, then?"

She remembered at that point that that was actually the time period he had lived in. "Well, not ancient, ancient. Not like Ancient Egypt of anything." She tried to cover lamely.

He smiled, amused at her attempt.

"I need to go fix my hair."

She ran off to her bathroom. Dawn and Clem had immediately sat themselves on one of the large black leather couches and started playing some car game with bad 80's music playing in the back ground. While Spike laid his coat on one of the sofas and wandered around looking at Buffy’s home.

"Dawn, where did your sis get the money for all this stuff?" Spike asked her taking in the living room. It was quite large with high ceilings and tall windows. It had several overstuffed black leather couches sitting on a plush deep green area rug. A flat screen plasma TV hung on the wall with some Bose stereo speakers. There was a large entertainment center filled with game consoles, a DVD player and a state of the art stereo system as well as another TV for games. In the corner was a large desk with a computer set up on it and a telephone.

"The Council paid for it." Dawn said smugly.

Spike shook his head and laughed imagining how Buffy had managed to convince Giles to shell out all this money for her rooms.

Spike moved into the small kitchen area that was set off to the side of the living room. It was equipped with a refrigerator, stove, a microwave and an island with barstools around it for eating. He opened the fridge hoping against hope to find a beer, but all that was in there was a half empty bottle of wine, some cans of Diet Coke and some yogurt. Not even a crumb of any sort of real food.

This was definitely Buffy's kitchen.

“I see she still hasn’t grasped the concept of cooking.” He commented.

Dawn laughed.

“Actually, she has gotten better. She can now make instant macaroni and cheese, and instant hot chocolate without a large disaster.” She told him.

“That’s something at least.” Spike muttered.

“I wouldn’t recommend eating the Mac & Cheese, though.” Clem told him. “The last time I did I was sick for days.”

“That’s because she decided it was too bland and tried to fix it with various spices. Ginger, Cinnamon and Dill really shouldn’t be used together.”

Spike just shook his head imagining Buffy opening up various containers, sniffing them and then dumping random amounts in a pot.

“She’s good with the hot chocolate, though.”

“Yup, just add water, not even she could mess that up.”


Spike wandered to the back of the living room, past the black lacquer dining table. There was a small half bathroom for guests and a short marble staircase.

He wandered up the ten stairs to find Buffy’s bedroom. The room had been done in a Moroccan style with deep blues, purple, reds, and greens. A large king sized bed sat to the left of the doorway draped with sheer curtains that had a metallic paisley design imprinted on them. There were two small tables on either side of the bed where her alarm clock sat and what he assumed was the charger for her cell phone. There were three walk-in closets that Buffy had filled to capacity (thanks again to the Watcher's Council he assumed).

Off to the right was another small, dark narrow stair that went up a few feet before opening into her bathroom. It had rose-colored marble floors and walls. A marble tub sat sunken into a pedestal of marble in front of a wall of windows facing the trees. There was a fancy new shower, the kind with several
jets at varying heights and angles. There was a long vanity with two sinks running along a wall of mirrors.

Buffy was in the bathroom standing there facing the mirror, with a happy smile on her face. She didn't seem to notice him yet so he moved further into the bathroom, coming up behind her.

Buffy looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. The hair was definitely in need of some help and her eye make up had that always-fashionable raccoon look. However, her eyes glowed with happiness, she didn't know she had. Her smile widened as she felt a presence next to her in the bathroom. She watched in the mirror, as her brush seemed to float off the counter and start running itself gently through her tangled hair.

She giggled at the sight. A small shiver ran through her as he lightly brushed some of her hair back away from her neck.

"Happy, pet?"

"On a scale of one to ten, I'm at about 50."

"Well come on then, lets go celebrate, then we'll see if we can't make that up to 100."

"Hello, I can't go like this. I need to fix my makeup first." She picked up a towel off the counter and turned on the sink to wash the offending make up off her face before applying a fresh batch.

"You look perfect to me." She smiled at the compliment.

"Yeah, but you have to say that." She told him before splashing water on her face.

"So what do you think of the place?" She asked over the now running water.

"Its beautiful. I can't believe you convinced the Watcher to buy you all this stuff with the Council's money."

She gave him a sly look.

It had irritated Buffy to no end how much money the Council actually had, considering they never offered to pay her, instead making her slave in that grease trap after her mom had died. Well she made sure that they made up for it when she decorated her suite.


"Oooh." Suddenly he understood. "You didn't ask did you, pet?"

"Originally I had full access to the accounts to fix this place up and buy myself a few things."

"How long did it take for you to lose that access?"

She giggled impishly before starting to wash her face off.

He loved the way her laugh sounded. He always dreamed of being around her when she was happy and relaxed so he could hear her laugh this freely.

"It was right after they delivered my Italian, Marble, Jacuzzi tub," she rinsed the soap off her face before continuing, "but believe me that tub is more than worth the price of the Wrath of Giles." She said after she wiped her face dry with the towel.

The image of her soaking in that tub naked almost made him dizzy for a moment.

Then another image came unwanted to his mind, from another bathroom, another time. The sound of crying filled his brain and he felt dizzy again for a different reason.

She was reapplying her eye make up in the mirror so she didn't see his face blanch as he took a step away from her in sudden fear. He turned and walked out of the bathroom quickly to regain control over the memories and their accompanying emotions.

He walked over to the windows in her bedroom and stared out into the darkness before him.

He swore to himself again and again that he was going to be good. There would be no sign of his old cocky, evil self. He was going to be good for her. He would be the perfect gentleman. He had another chance with her and he was determined not to mess it up this time.

"I know I went kinda Jessica Simpson with all this stuff." She continued their conversation as she entered the bedroom, make up now back to Buffy standards, completely unaware of the internal struggle going on within him.

"I mean who really needs 77 pairs of shoes.” She gestured towards the stairs leading down to her living room. “I don't even know how to work most of the stuff in the entertainment center. Dawn and Clem use it more than I do."


Then she noticed him standing quietly by the windows and realized he hadn't heard a word she said. She walked over to him and put a hand on his arm.

"Hey Bleach Boy, are you OK?" She asked softly.

He turned and smiled what he hoped was a carefree smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She narrowed her eyes. She could tell he was lying, she just wasn’t sure if she should press him or not.

"I'm just thinking these rooms of yours have a lot of large windows and the only 'curtains' are around your bed."

She gave him a look that clearly said she knew that wasn't what he was thinking about, but she let it slide for now.

"Well it isn't like I have to worry about anyone seeing in, unless they are of the fluffy-tailed squirrel variety."

"I was thinking more of crispy fried vampire."

"Oh." She said understanding, and then her eyes lit up.

"Well that is something you don't have to worry about." She gestured to the windows in front of them. "These and all of the others are coated with a special no-frying vamps coating."

When he just looked at her confused she explained further.

"You know like Angel's office at Wolfram & Hart."

She moved to wrap her arms around him when he stepped away from her.

Surprised she looked up at him and saw what seemed a lot like anger in his eyes.

"And you have this on the windows in your bedroom and bath because...?"

His voice came out tight and quiet.

"Because every window in the mansion has the same coating." She said defensively, getting slightly angry that his thoughts led him to that conclusion.

"Oh." He said, cursing himself for not remembering his promise just a few moments before to not act like an arrogant ass anymore.

"Yeah, oh." She said turning around to walk down the stairs.

"Buffy." He called out to her desperately, terrified by the sight of her walking away.

She turned at his voice, saw the fear in his eyes and immediately melted.

"I'm sorry, luv. This is all just kind of overwhelming. I don't know what to think. I guess it’s just easier to believe nothings changed, really."

She smiled at him reassuringly and held her hands out to him. He stepped forward quickly and took her hands in his, holding them tightly.

"For us everything has changed." She said soothingly, looking into his eyes willing him to see that. She could see the fear, doubt and love looking back at her.

"Let's just get through this party tonight, then we can spend the rest of our lives getting used to it, Ok." She told him softly.

His heart soared at her words.

"I love you." He whispered.

The smile that lit up her face at his words was like watching the sun come out.

"I love you, too." It was like music to him, a favorite song he wanted to play over and over.

She leaned forward and lightly kissed him.

"You two better not be having sex up there." Dawn's voice came up the stairs pulling them apart.

They groaned at the interruption.

"I really think you let her spend way too much time with Anya." Spike told her laughing. Her patented eye roll was his only response.

"We're not having sex, Dawnie." Buffy yelled down to her sister trying to use her best 'mom' voice. "We're coming now."

She sighed resigned.

She took one of her hands back from Spike and turned to lead him down the stairs into the living room. He had other ideas and didn't move with her instead pulling her back against him tightly.

"Not yet, but later we will be." He whispered in her ear before releasing her to stroll down the stairs.

"Hey! That's just mean." She whined as she followed him.