After her revelation, there was a period of quiet in the shop, but she knew she had her friends’ support. After all, everyone would be a lot happier if she was too. They still had Warren to deal with though and so they took to research again: mainly in the form of Willow’s internet hacking.

Towards nightfall though, as she was flicking through a dusty book looking for time-bending spells, Buffy could feel eyes on her. She looked up to find Xander and Anya in a whispered discussion- obviously about her.

Anya nudged Xander in the side and he moved towards Buffy, sliding into a chair next to her.

“So, Buffster…new start and all that?”

“That’s the plan,” she replied with a smile, placing the book down.

“Well, we were thinking…actually Anya was thinking-“

“Xander has a very attractive friend called Richard. We think you should date. He’s very sweet and not a vampire,” Anya remarked.

“Sorry?” Buffy asked, nonplussed.

“Well, with the new start and all…maybe you could, you know, try seeing someone new.”

“I’m sure you’ve been very lonely since Riley went. Except when you were dead, obviously,” Anya added.

“Richard is nice,” Willow spoke up, “I met him once.”

“Erm, when did I join this dating agency?” Buffy asked.

“We just thought…” Xander trailed off and Buffy bit her lip as she came to a decision.



“Look guys…I appreciate the thought and everything…but I…I haven’t been single as long as you think.”

“What?!”

She took a deep breath and crossed her arms somewhat defensively.

“You’re not going to like this…but…me and Spike-“

“Spike!” Xander burst out before she could even finish her sentence. Before he could continue though, Buffy held up a hand.

“I told you you wouldn’t like it. But…it happened. And I can’t change that now.”

“And are you still…?”

“No. Not anymore. Look, it was just…I can’t explain it. But that’s one of the reasons for New Buffy. I…Last night I did something I never thought I was capable of doing…I’m ashamed to even think of it.”

There was a moment of silence and she closed her eyes tightly, fighting for calm.

“It was you.”

Xander’s shocked voice drew her eyes to him and she saw understanding dawning in his expression.

“It wasn’t a demon, was it? You beat Spike.”

“Yes,” she whispered, “And it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done. He was trying to stop me from making a huge mistake…and I just lashed out at him. He didn’t even try to fight back.”

“Erm, Buffy, he couldn’t. The chip,” Willow remarked.

“Yeah…about that. The chip doesn’t work on me.”

“What?!” Xander exploded, “He’s dangerous again?!”

“No,” Buffy explained, “It doesn’t work on me. It works on everyone else but me.”

“Maybe it was a fluke.”

“There have been plenty of times that…Look, it doesn’t work on me. But it changes nothing. I still shouldn’t have done what I did.”


“So you don’t want to date Richard?” Anya asked abruptly.

“Err, no. I mean, invite him to my birthday if you want. But right now, I just kind of need to be alone, you know. I need to sort my head out.”

“And what about Spike?” Dawn asked and Buffy turned to meet her sister’s angry gaze.

“I can’t keep hurting him the way I have been…not just physically, either. I…I want to do right by him. He’s earned the same respect as everyone in this room.”

At Xander’s slight frown, she continued.

“I’m not saying you have to like him.”- Xander visibly relaxed at this. “Just…he deserves us to be civil, at least. He’s been good to me.”

“Do you mean that in a sexual way?” Anya piped up, receiving several aghast looks.

“Please don’t answer that!” Xander exclaimed, before turning to his fiancée, “Ahn, please.”

“I was just saying,” Anya mumbled, moving away back to the till.

“Moving swiftly away from that nasty conversational moment…I need to patrol and check on Spike.”



“Can I come?” Dawn questioned, already getting to her feet.

“I…I don’t think Spike would want you to see him like this.”

“I’ve seen him in a worse state, I’m sure,” Dawn countered, arms crossed.

“I know. But…okay, look, I don’t want you to see him like this. You’ll see him in a few days…on my birthday, I promise.”

“Maybe he won’t want to come to your birthday after you beat the hell out of him.”

Buffy winced but met her sister’s challenging gaze.

“Maybe not. But he’s invited anyway.”

Finally, seeing that her sister was halfway satisfied, Buffy turned and left the shop, knowing for certain that there would be more talk of her and Spike once she was out of earshot. She just hoped her friends would accept what she had said and they could all try to be nice to Spike.


~*~*~*~*~

She was at the crypt in no time and with a soft knock on the door, she pushed it open and made her way into the dimly lit room.

“Spike?” she called out, scanning the room.

“Downstairs, love.”

She moved to the ladder and climbed down into the lower level. She set foot on the ground again and turned, eyes going wide when her eyes met Spike’s. His face was almost completely healed now, only the bruise around his right eye remaining.

“Wow, you look better,” she breathed, her feet propelling her forward.

“Had a bit of help,” he murmured, his eyes falling on her neck, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

They fell into an awkward silence and she realised it was because, for the first time in many months, she was not in Spike’s bedroom for sex. For the first time in a long time, she was coming to talk to him, as she had done shortly after her resurrection. She smiled and moved to sit next to him on the bed.

“This is weird, isn’t it?”

“It’s new, is all,” he answered, smiling softly.

“Yep. New Buffy…new Buffy and Spike. With less violence.”

“Happened to like the violence,” he commented with a smile, “Well, most of the time.”

“Just gonna have to go cold turkey, mister.”

“I’ll be a good boy scout, promise.”

“Were boy scouts even around when you were alive?”

“Well…not quite,” he admitted with a smile.


She smiled, amazed at their easy banter. Sure, her fingers were still itching to reach out and touch him and her whole body was buzzing with his nearness- but it felt good to sit beside him, chatting inanely. The way his eyes were shining told her he wasn’t too displeased with the situation either.

“So, err, you know it’s my birthday in a few days?”

“How you planning on celebrating this year? Apocalypse maybe?”

“I’m hoping for a regular gathering of the social kind. Hey, it might even work.”

He laughed and leaned back on his hands, watching her with that tilt of the head.

“So…I wondered if maybe you wanted to come?”

His eyes widened ever so slightly and she smiled softly.

“I mean, Dawn thinks you won’t want to come anyway, what with the fact that I beat you six ways from Sunday, but you know-“

“You told Dawn?”

His question stopped her in her rambling and she turned to him.

“Yeah. Well, actually the whole gang. It sort of came out among other revelations.”

“Other revelations?” he prompted.

“Well, erm, you know, like the fact that we…”

She waved a hand between them, not knowing how to describe their intimacy.

“Were involved in a sordid, passionate affair?”

“Something like that,” she replied with a smile.

Spike was silent and when she looked closely, she saw the stunned expression on his face.

“Wow, if I’d have known that would shut you up…”

He shook himself out of his daze and turned his bright eyes to hers.

“So, do I need to worry ‘bout my safety?”

“Hope not. I mean, obviously some weren’t exactly…pleased.”


He was silent for a few moments, seemingly absorbing that fact.

“Bet the Whelp threatened death by pointy stick.”

“Actually, no. I think he was just stunned. Plus, err, well he saw you…you know, last night. I guess it kind of took the wind out of his sails. How could he say you’re a monster when I-“

“You’re not a monster, Buffy,” he got out in a low voice, his hands catching hers, forcing her gaze to his.

“Felt like one last night.”

“Not you, love. You could never be a monster,” he murmured, sitting up and brushing a hand over her hair, “Too much good in you. Too much purity.”

“Thought you said I belonged in the darkness with you,” she murmured and her hesitant eyes rose to his.

“Well, I would say that, wouldn’t I?” he commented softly, “Just desperate to keep you in the dark with me.”

She smiled and squeezed the hand that was still in hers.

“So, you still haven’t answered my question. You gonna come to my birthday?”

“’Course I’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it. The Slayer all grown-up.”

She poked her tongue out at him and he laughed, rubbing his hand over her arm as he released her.

“Do you even remember being twenty-one?” she teased.

“Now, pet, who says I even reached that milestone?”

In answer, she quirked an eyebrow at him, studying the lines of his face.

“Look a bit old for a teenager, Spike.”

“Thought I looked pretty good for my age actually.”

“Modest too…” she mumbled and they both laughed.


Some time later, she stretched and moved to get up.

“I better get going. I was planning a patrol tonight.”

“Want any company?”

“No,” she answered quickly, realising how her answer sounded just after and amending it, “You’re still in rehab, mister. No fighting ‘til you’re completely better.”

“Oh, I’m all better, pet. Can show you if you want?” he leered, eyes shining as he looked at her. She just rolled her eyes and laughed.

“No fighting, ‘kay?” she got out softly, meeting his gaze, “Wouldn’t want to have wasted my blood fixing you up.”

“Okay, Slayer, promise I’ll be a good boy. Even if I’m gonna get bored out of my head.”

“I’ll come by tomorrow…after patrol. If you want, I mean.”

“Buffy,” he called, stopping her before she could work herself up to a full-blown ramble, “Never gonna say no to your company, pet.”

She smiled softly and pushed herself to her feet.

“’Kay. See you.”

“Night, love.”