Alive
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Her whole body was eerily pain-free as she slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the bright light.

“Buffy, love?”

She focused her gaze on the blue eyes hovering above her and smiled a tiny smile.

“Am I in heaven?” she whispered.

“Now, I wouldn’t be here if you were, would I?” Spike murmured, his cool touch brushing across her forehead.

“Buffy!” another voice called out and she turned her head slowly to meet her sister’s worried gaze.

“Dawnie,” she answered with a smile, “You’re here too. I’m glad.”

She saw Dawn throw a confused look at the vampire and he smiled slightly.

“It’s the drugs. Making her a bit woozy.”

“Woozy is good,” she murmured, her eyes suddenly heavy again.

She felt that cool touch on her forehead again, brushing over her hair.

“You rest some more, love,” Spike murmured and she nodded lazily, her eyes already fluttering closed as she sank into the pillow.



Her eyes fluttered open again and she took in the hospital room, the machines that were monitoring her.

“Buffy?”

Her sister appeared next to the bed, her warm hand resting over Buffy’s.

“Hey, Dawnie.”

“How are you feeling?”

She paused for a moment, feeling the slight niggling pain in her stomach.

“I think I’ll live.”

“You almost didn’t,” Dawn choked, her fingers tightening around Buffy’s, “If Spike hadn’t-“

“Where is he?” Buffy asked, noticing the others in the room for the first time- with the noticeable exception of Spike.

“He, err, he kinda stayed outside,” Dawn answered hesitantly, glancing at the group huddled by the door.

“Go and get him back, Dawnie,” she ordered softly.

She followed her sister to the door with her eyes and smiled weakly when the girl looked back at her hesitantly. She then glanced at her friends and gave them a sleepy smile, closing her eyes for a moment’s rest.


She opened her eyes again when she heard the door open and she smiled slightly as the vampire entered, his eyes fixed on her. Dawn practically dragged him to the bedside and Buffy smiled again, meeting his blue eyes.

“Hear I’ve got you to thank,” she whispered.

“Did what I could,” he murmured, his hand resting on the rail at the bed’s side. She reached out and let her fingers brush against his.

“Thanks.”

“You should have seen, Buffy!” Dawn spoke up, “He almost got burnt up helping you!”

“Silly vampire,” Buffy teased weakly, her fingers winding round his- and she noticed then the healing burns on his hands. He gave a little shrug and she smiled softly, brushing her finger over his. At that moment, the door opened once more and a nurse appeared, frowning at the number of people in the room.

“Family only, I’m afraid. Anyone not family will have to leave. Miss Summers needs to rest,” the nurse ordered and the Scoobies stood awkwardly, glancing over at Buffy before leaving the room. Spike pulled his hand away but she caught him and the nurse looked to them with a questioning look.

“He stays,” Buffy spoke up.

The nurse narrowed her eyes for a moment but then shrugged and left the room again, leaving the two sisters and Spike alone.



“Can I please be present when you make the big announcement?” Dawn spoke up.

“Huh?” Buffy asked, dragging her eyes from the vampire to turn to her sister.

“The big ‘we’re together’ speech.”

“We, err-“ Buffy started hesitantly, blushing.

“Don’t even try to tell me you’re not. I’m not that stupid, you know!”

Buffy smiled softly and shook her head, twisting her fingers around Spike’s again as she glanced at him again.

“No hiding anymore.”

“You just worry about getting better right now, love,” he murmured, brushing his thumb over her hand.

“I’m all good. I’m alive…and, you know what, for the first time in ages I feel it. I think I’ve got you to thank for that too.”

“Didn’t do anything, love. You did it yourself.”

“Nah-uh,” she protested, “You helped.”

“Can you just agree that you both did it?”

Dawn spoke up with a laugh and Buffy smiled softly.

“Thank you anyway. You too, Dawnie.”

“What did I do? I think you’re still woozy from the drugs,” the teenager commented with a grin.

“No. You kept me going, both of you. Being there for me…loving me even when I was a…a mean bitch.”

“Definitely the drugs,” Spike teased, sharing a smile with Dawn.

“I’m being serious,” she spoke up, reaching out and taking Dawn’s hand as well, “Must be the insight from a near-death experience.”

Dawn frowned at her quip but she squeezed the girl’s hand.

“Not that I’m not glad to be alive,” she added and Dawn looked a little relieved.


She looked from one face to the other and squeezed their hands in hers. This was her family, her reason for going on, for living. She turned to her sister and smiled somewhat tearfully.

“I love you, Dawnie. You know that right?”

Dawn smiled and nodded, glancing up at Spike.

“Definitely the drugs.”

“No, me. I love you and I’m here for you whenever you need me. I can’t be…I’m not Mom…but I’ll look after you as long as you let me.”

“I know, Buffy,” Dawn answered, half-seriously, “You’re a good sister. A good mom too.”

She smiled at her sister and then turned to the vampire, squeezing his hand in hers. He was looking down at her, his blue eyes shining, twinkling with amusement- and with love.

“Spike,” she breathed, “I never meant to hurt you. Never. And I’m sorry I didn’t see what you meant to me soon enough. I wasted so much time.”

“S’fine, love. We’ve got all the time in the world, like you said.”

She nodded, gripping his hand tighter in hers.

“I’m going to make it up to you, I promise. I…We’ll do things right this time.”

“I know, love,” he answered with a soft smile.

“I’m going to live my life the way I want,” she said determinedly, “And I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.”

“God, she’s definitely not herself!” Dawn teased and Spike chuckled.

“I’m trying to be serious and you guys are ruining it,” she sulked.

“S’okay, love, we believe you,” Spike soothed, “You just rest now and worry about the rest later.”

“You won’t go anywhere?” she asked, tightening her fingers around his.

“’Course not,” he answered with a smile at her and then at Dawn, “Got to stay with my girls.”

Dawn reached across the bed and took his other hand.

“You better, mister,” she warned with a warm smile.

“Always. Love both of you silly bints.”

Dawn grinned and Buffy smiled softly.

“We love you too,” she whispered.

His eyes met hers and he tilted his head, studying her.

“That so?”

“’Course,” Dawn spoke up, “You’re our pet vampire.”

He growled but both sisters laughed and he was unable to stay angry for long.

“Get you back for that one day, Bit.”

“Just try!” she exclaimed, poking her tongue out at him.

Buffy remained silent, taking in the glorious sight of the two people who meant the most to her. Nothing was going to take this feeling away from her, this knowledge that she was alive and that, despite the horrible things that had happened, her life was actually worth living.


THE END