Break With The Old

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She was at the edge of the room, smiling as she watched her friends, when Riley approached her and she looked up at him warily.

“Can I talk to you?”

She nodded and they went outside into the courtyard. Spike was sitting on the wall, smoking, but when he saw them, he quickly stubbed his cigarette out and rose to his feet.

“’Scuse me. Wonder if Rupert’s got any good liquor.”

His eyes met hers as he passed her and then he went into the house, leaving the two of them alone. She sat on the wall, watching Riley warily as he sat beside her.

“Buffy, I...I’m sorry.”

“I told you, it wasn’t your fault Adam-“

“Not about that.”

“Oh,” she breathed, falling silent and looking at her feet.

“I just...maybe I overreacted but you know, it seems that everything seems to revolve around Spike, ever since that spell.”

“I can’t help it, you know. It’s the claim,” she answered in a low voice, “I can’t let him get hurt.”

“Is it just the claim though?”

Her eyes whipped to him, narrowing.

“What are you trying to say, Riley?” she asked sharply.

He sighed and turned away for a moment, but then turned back and took her hand.

“Look, forget it. I’d like to try again. With us.”



Before she could say anything, he was kissing her, his hand on her arm.

“Riley,” she protested, pulling away.

“We’ll go away. On holiday. Get away from Spike.”

“Riley-“

“It could be good. If you just stay away from him.”

He leant in and kissed her again but she pushed him away, rising to her feet.

“You don’t really expect me to just welcome you back with open arms?!” she exclaimed, crossing her arms. Part of her was amazed at this gut reaction: after all, just days ago she had wanted him back. But now, something felt different.

“Buffy-“

“You accused me of cheating!”

“Look, I- what else was I supposed to think?”

“Err, you could have trusted me!”

“I do,” he protested weakly, “But he...I mean, he might have an influence on you. With the claim.”

She shook her head in disbelief and he rose to his feet, his hands on her arms.

“Buffy, I really like you. I...I love you.”

She looked at him in silence for a long moment and then turned her face to the side.

“Well, I’m sorry. I just don’t think this will work.”

“Buffy-“

“I think you should go.”

He stumbled backwards, watching her with wide eyes.

“Is this because of him?” he bit out.

“It has nothing to do with him, Riley! Why can’t you just get over this?!”

“He’s done something to you. You’ve changed.”
“Riley, just go,” she bit out.

He looked at her helplessly and then turned his back on her and left the courtyard.



She wanted to break down but somehow she held herself together and went back to the house. She opened the door and noticed the sudden movement and talking and knew they had heard at least some of her and Riley’s dispute.

“I’m going home,” she announced quietly.

“Buffy,” Willow said softly.

“I’m fine. I just want to...I want to rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Before anyone could say anything, she left the house again, shutting the door behind her. She wandered home slowly, tracing a path through the cemeteries in the vain hope of finding something to kill to relieve the tension in her.

“Slayer.”

She jumped at Spike’s soft voice and stopped in her tracks, turning to find him leant against a crypt, watching her with bright eyes.

“Spike, I just want to be alone right now.”

“I understand. But I think we need to talk.”

She raised her eyes to his and found herself trapped in his bright gaze. And then a horrible thought hit her: did he know about her dream? She faked a calm she did not feel and moved to lean against the crypt next to him. She could feel his bright eyes on her but did not dare to meet his eyes.

“Look, love, I just wanted to say...you want me gone, just say the word.”

That wasn’t what she had expected and her head whipped up, her eyes meeting his.

“What?”

“Well, this claim-stuff seems to be causing you no end of trouble with your friends...and Soldier Boy. If you want me gone, I’ll go.”

“Spike, I...”

She did not know what to say and just stared at him, her mind reeling. Finally, she found the words she wanted to say.

“I don’t want you gone.”

“I don’t wanna mess things up for you. This is all pretty weird anyway, innit?Slayer...vampire,” he commented, gesturing between them.

“I think it’s pretty...nice.”

He raised an eyebrow in surprise and she smiled wryly.

“I like knowing you’re there. Even if maybe you don’t want to be.”

“Buffy-“

“I understand it’s not cool. Big Bad and all that. And if you want to, you know, go back to the evil stuff...well, I won’t stop you. Can’t really. I’d prefer that you didn’t...but you know, if it makes you happy, well I-”

She was suddenly cut off as his finger pressed against her lips.

“Get the point, love.”

She smiled softly and moved away from his touch, leaning back against the wall.



“You alright, Slayer?” he asked softly, after a pause.

“Guess so.”

“Regretting giving Soldier Boy the heave-ho?”

“Not really,” she murmured with a wry smile that he returned, “I’m not sure we’re really...compatible.”

“’Course not. He’s a mere mortal. You need a bit of monster in your man.”

I can give you what he can’t. I can give you what you need.

She shook the disturbing memory of her dream away and smiled slightly.

“Yeah, ‘coz that worked out so well before.”

“You know, if you’re going to measure everyone against Peaches and that catastrophe, you’re going to end up sad and lonely, Slayer.”

She stared at him for a long moment, taking in his words.

“Yay for me,” she got out.

“Buffy-“

His voice was soft and his fingers just grazed her arm and she forced a smile, drawing away from him. She didn’t want his sympathy.

“Hey, Slayerdom and all that. S’long as I make it to twenty, I’ll be happy.”

Those bright eyes were watching her too knowingly and she turned her head away, blocking him from her head at the same time.

“I should get home.”



She pushed herself away from the wall and brushed her hands over her front somewhat nervously.

“Thanks for helping with Adam,” she commented, not even turning back to the vampire for fear that he would see the vulnerability she was too tired to hide.

“Slayer.”

He caught her arm and she reluctantly turned to him, carefully avoiding his bright gaze.

“You need anything, I’m here.”

Her eyes flew to his of their own accord but she could see no mocking in his eyes. She smiled slightly and moved her arm out of his grip.

“Thanks. See you round.”

She finally turned and made her way through the cemetery, feeling his eyes on her- and feeling a rush of something she couldn’t quite figure out through the connection.