Falling Apart

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She woke with an aching head and immediately pressed her fingers to her lips, remembering the night before with vivid clarity. She had no idea what had got into Spike, but it scared her. He had been so angry, so violent- but at the same time, confused. And now she had no way of knowing what was on his mind. She found herself unsettled by the idea- did this mean she and Spike would no longer share a closeness? Her side of the claim was still working, she assumed, but maybe he would just block that out. But then, he had always understood her without needing to be in her head anyway.

She sighed and rolled out of bed, rubbing her hand over her face. When did everything start going wrong? She didn’t exactly want to face the vampire but she knew she would have to at some point. She felt uneasy not knowing where she stood and what he was thinking. And he had been so upset about Dru. She sighed again and pushed herself to her feet, pulling on her robe and going through to the shower, mechanically readying herself for another day as her mind raced with thoughts. She would face Spike; she would go to him and speak to him and find out what was going on. Tonight. She couldn’t put if off or it would drive her mad.



First, she headed towards Giles’ and found the Scooby gang assembled, lazing around.

“Did you encounter any new demons on patrol last night?” Giles asked as soon as she walked in and she shook her head.

“Just a few vamps.”

“It is extraordinarily quiet lately.”

“I guess they’re on demon holiday or something.”

“Speaking of demons, where’s Spike?” Xander asked.

She stiffened at the vampire’s name but took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax.

“It being daytime, I imagine in his crypt, sleeping.”

“I half-expect him to be following you round on some sort of leash,” Xander mused and she smiled weakly.

“I don’t think that will ever happen. Especially not now.”

“Why not now?” Willow asked and she frowned, biting her lip- and stopping herself when it stung.

“The claim...it’s been broken.”

“What?!” Giles blurted out, “Why didn’t you tell us? When did this happen?”

“I don’t know exactly. But I only found out last night...Drusilla’s been to town it seems.”

“And that affects the claim?” Willow asked.

“It does if she reasserts her own claim.”

“So...no more claim?” Xander asked, somewhat hopefully.

“Well, no more claim for me. Spike can still...I mean, he’s got access to my head. But I guess that doesn’t affect me.”



She felt a strange sensation in her stomach- like disappointment- but forced it away, meeting her friends’ gazes openly.

“So, we finally sorted that problem. Just like you wanted.”

“You wanted it too,” Willow pointed out and Buffy turned to her, pausing for just a second before she replied.

“Of course. Of course I did. This is...great.”

It didn’t feel great though. For the first time in weeks, she felt completely and utterly alone- like something was missing. And it scared her that her bond with Spike had filled that empty space. Now, though, they would surely revert to how they had been before, if slightly more civil. And she could not explain why her heart sank at the thought. She shook it off as Giles spoke up.

“Maybe we should accompany you on patrol tonight.”

“Huh?”

“Well, as it is quiet, I’m sure there will be no trouble. And it’ll be good for you to have some company, I’m sure.”

Had he sensed her sudden loneliness? She guessed he was right though- company was always a welcome distraction on patrol. She smiled softly and nodded.

“Sure thing. We leave at sunset.”



The gang was trailing her as she made her way through the cemetery, lost in her thoughts. Thoughts mainly involving a certain blonde vampire. She shook her head, driving the thoughts away as she scanned her surroundings. She could just hear her friends’ chatter from behind her but tuned it out as she focussed on the dark, seemingly-quiet cemetery. She could really do with some violence right now to distract her from her worries. She turned back to her friends, but as she did, she felt a stabbing pain in her shoulder and found herself face-to-face with a tall, slimy demon. She glanced at her friends and frowned as they waved to her casually. She stumbled backwards as the demon punched her and as she went to right herself, her head spun. She shook her head, trying to clear her suddenly blurry vision.

She tried to throw a punch at the demon but it easily ducked her arm and landed its own hit on her. She cried out and stumbled backwards again, looking to her friends for help. They were chatting, glancing at her only occasionally and when she waved, they just waved back. This was not good. She returned her focus to the demon but her head spun again and she moaned, holding her hand to her head.

“What the hell?” she whispered, feeling dizzy but using a gravestone to hold herself on her feet. The demon lunged at her again and she cried out, falling to the ground. She tried to trip the demon as it came for her, but her legs felt heavy and it easily stepped over her, leering down at her as she tried to scramble to her feet. She looked to her friends in panic now but they were still engrossed in conversation, seemingly oblivious to her distress. The demon lashed out and hit her around the face, its claws ripping through her skin and making her cry out. She held her hand to her face, trying to claw her way away from the demon. She could just see a large, sharp branch a few feet from her- if only she could get to it.



The demon obviously had other plans though and it kicked her in the stomach, making her moan with pain. She held one hand to her stomach as she continued to edge her way backwards but the demon stopped her, bending low and hauling her to her feet, only to send her flying into a crypt and to the floor again. It caught up with her again, trapping her against the stone, its hand cutting of her breathing. Struggling helplessly, her hazy vision flicked between the demon and her unmoving friends and she moaned, trying to throw it off, but to no avail. As she began to struggle to breathe, the demon was suddenly dragged away from her and she collapsed to the floor. Her blurred eyes could barely focus on the figure in black, moving so quickly as it fought the demon. She closed her eyes, letting out a moan and holding her hand over her stomach.

“Slayer.”

She moaned again, feeling herself being lifted into a sitting position. Her head was spinning painfully and her vision was blurring in front of her and she struggled helplessly against the grip around her.

“Stay still. It’s gonna be okay.”

She felt a sharp pain in her shoulder again and cried out. But just like that, her senses returned and she found herself cradled in a pair of strong arms, her face resting against a black shirt as she breathed in the unmistakeable scent of tobacco.

“Spike,” she whispered gratefully.



She was guided backwards and found herself looking into familiar blue eyes, scanning her with concern. His fingers just came to rest against the cut on her cheek but then he snatched his hand away and she heard Willow’s voice.

“Oh God, Buffy! Are you okay?”

She turned to her worried friends, pushing herself to her feet- all too aware of the supporting hand at her back.

“What happened?” she asked, touching her fingers to her sore cheek as she turned to Spike.

“Lokhra demon. They use poison to stun and confuse their victims. And they project an image around themselves so no-one can see what’s really happening.”

“It just looked like a normal fight,” Willow breathed, “It even looked like Buffy was winning.”

Ignoring her friends, she turned to the vampire, placing her hand on his arm.

“Thank you.”

“It was nothing. Was just passing by. You’ll be fine,” he answered somewhat abruptly, moving away from her touch. He glanced at her friends and then back at her and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Anyway, I got stuff to do.”

Without another word, he strolled away from their small group and she was left staring after him, not quite sure what had happened. One minute, he had been worrying over her and the next, coldness. She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, turning back to her friends.

“You better head home. I’ll finish up here.”

“Are you sure?” Giles asked.

“Sure.”

Her friends turned in the direction of home and she turned in the opposite direction, heading for Restfield cemetery. It was time to face the music and she couldn’t put it off any longer after Spike’s strange behaviour.