Sweet Surrender

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As Spike’s crypt came into view, her courage began to fade but she forced herself onwards. She had to do this now, or she never would. She had no doubt that the vampire would be in, despite his claim that he had ‘stuff to do’ and she knocked on the door and pushed it open slowly. The door swung shut behind her and she paused for a moment, taking in the flickering candles that threw a soft light over the whole room. Her eyes finally came to rest on the vampire: he was sitting in his armchair, swigging from a bottle, his eyes fixed on a spot in front of him. He did not even turn to her or acknowledge her and she frowned, stepping forward into his line of vision.

“What the hell is going on?”

He raised his eyes to her and took a swig from the bottle before replying.

“What do you want, Slayer?” he asked, half-tiredly, half-angrily.

“I want to know what’s going on.”

“What, ‘coz you can’t just pop into my head anymore? Feeling out of the loop?”

“What’s wrong with you?” she whispered, staring at him as if he were a stranger.
Those startling blue eyes met hers and narrowed, burning into her.

“Just bugger off, will you Slayer?”

“What is your problem?!” she exclaimed, even as she turned to leave.

“You know what my problem is?!” he retorted, jumping to his feet and catching her arm, “You. You’re my problem.”



He softened, his grip loosening on her arm.

“Why can’t I hate you?” he murmured, his fingers rising to brush over the cut on her cheek.

“It’s just the claim,” she whispered hesitantly, her eyes fixed on his.

“Why do you even come here, Slayer?” he asked, his grip tightening on her arm again, “To torment me?”

He stepped forward, closer to her and she forced herself to stay still, her eyes locked on his unwaveringly.

“I know why you come. I’ve seen your dreams, remember?”

Her eyes widened at his words but she did not move, holding his gaze as his fingers ghosted over her arm.

“You come because you want it...but you’re too afraid to ask for it.”

“You can’t always have what you want,” she murmured, lost in the spell of his eyes.

“Guess not... You want normal,” he murmured, his fingers brushing over her hair.

“You don’t have a soul.”

“You don’t have a heart,” he retorted, his voice a silken whisper as his fingers brushed over her shoulder.

“I don’t trust it anymore.”

There was a pause and then he spoke.

“Just give me one night,” he whispered, his breath brushing against her ear. She felt a shiver run through her and she froze, her wide eyes meeting his as he pulled back. If she succumbed now, she’d be lost- but she was helpless to stop him as he moved closer and his lips touched hers, sending an electric shock jolting through her. She had expected his kiss to be hungry, passionate, but instead his lips moved against hers almost tenderly, a barely-there caress.



The Slayer in her was screaming that those same hands that were holding her, caressing her skin, threading through her hair, those hands had killed and hurt so many; that mouth that was moving against hers so softly had brought death to hundreds- but somehow it didn’t matter anymore. Her mind put up a fleeting, half-hearted protest but it was all drowned out by the pounding of her heart. She was right where she wanted to be: lost in the embrace of the man she yearned for.

There was nothing but the feel of his arms around her, the brush of his fingers against her skin, his cool mouth on hers. She was truly lost and if this was what it felt like, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be found again. She clung to him, fearful to let go lest he disappear and this turn out to be another dream. It felt a thousand times more real than her dream though- and at the same time, she could hardly believe she was here, wrapped up in the arms of her erstwhile enemy.

She wouldn’t trade this night for all the world though: his bright eyes met hers, his fingers grazing her skin with teasing, burning touches and she raised her hand to his face, drawing his mouth back to hers.



She had fought for a long time but her surrender was a complete one: with just one kiss, months of pent-up desire had been released and she was helpless to fight against her own will. She gave herself up to him completely, not putting up the slightest bit of resistance when knowing hands guided her clothes from her with the gentlest of caresses. She followed his guiding touch blindly, lost in a world away from this one; a world where this night would last forever. It was like the connection between them had never been severed and when their eyes met, she was bombarded with a rush of emotions and memories.

His mouth brushed over the place where he had once marked her and she felt a burst of sensation. She knew she would never forget this perfect night and when his eyes locked on hers, she saw the same wonder in his eyes. There would always be a bond between them, even without a claim to join them. They were part of the same world, the world of darkness; they were the two sides of the same coin. Light and dark, good and evil, love and hate- blended and mixed and moulded into two people who could not resist the link between them; could not resist the pull that had brought them together on this night. And, perhaps, did not want to fight it anymore.



She lay by his side, watching the flickering candlelight playing over his features. How could something evil be so beautiful? She let her fingers ghost over his tousled hair and down his cheek, memorising his features. She would have to leave- and soon. It was already morning and she needed to get home, but she was loath to leave. They both knew that last night had been a one-time thing, but somehow, she couldn’t bear to leave his bed. It would make it a lot harder if he was awake before she had gone though. With a sigh, she sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, pulling on her clothes mechanically. She turned back to him, her eyes tracing his features- and she knew that he was awake. He kept his eyes closed though and somehow she knew it was for her that he kept up the charade. She leant over him and pressed her lips to his tenderly.

“Thank you,” she whispered, grazing his cheek with her fingers.

She pulled away and with one last look, she turned and made her way out of his crypt.



The cemetery was coated in early-morning sunshine and she peeled her jacket off, weaving her way through the gravestones as she thought: after all, she had plans to make. It was amazing how, in the space of a few hours, everything could change- and yet, nothing could change at the same time. She was in love with the wrong man, again, but this time she would not make the same mistakes. She and Spike would always have a connection, they would always share the memory of last night- but in the real world, they could have nothing. They both knew the rules and would have to live by them. She would let no-one suspect her true feelings for the vampire and no-one would know, except maybe him. In poker, a good bluff always saw you right, and that was exactly what she needed. And she knew exactly where to find one.

It surprised her how rationally she was able to think all of this through, even as she felt her heart sinking. Last night had rocked her world and brought it crashing down around her, and now she would have to rebuild it as good as new. And no-one would ever know it had changed, except the man who had broken down her walls. She would never forget that night, she was sure, but she would move on. She had to move on to save herself, even if it was killing her with every step she took away from his crypt. She had another man to see.