Living The Lie

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After two weeks of keeping his distance, Spike showed up during her patrol and fell into step beside her.

“Alright,” he greeted nonchalantly, lighting up a cigarette as they walked.

“Hey,” she said quietly, meeting his bright gaze for a brief few seconds before looking away. Reassured that there was going to be no fighting or lashing out at each other, she let herself relax and admitted- silently- that she had missed him. Of course, she had been thinking of him almost constantly, but it wasn’t the same as having him at her side. It made her feel warm and safe to walk side-by-side, the smoke from his cigarette dissipating into the air in front of them, his scent surrounding her. There was still tension there, but he seemed to have accepted what she had said and was making no move to push her.

“So, how’ve you been, Slayer?”

When was the last time he had actually used her name? She knew it was another way of keeping his distance, but she missed the silky sound of her name on his lips.

“Okay, I guess.”

“And Soldier Boy?” he asked tautly.

“I think it’s probably best for both of us if we avoid that subject, don’t you?”

He gave her the tiniest of smiles and she returned it, turning her attention back to the ground in front of her.

“S’long as he’s treating you good. Or I might have to kill him.”

“We’re...okay.”



They continued on in silence, but she was ever aware of his presence beside her and it set her heart to pounding in ways it really wasn’t supposed to. The bluff was going according to plan, somewhat to her dismay, although she had been carefully distant with Riley on one point: their physical relationship. Somehow, she just couldn’t bring herself to sleep with him and part of her knew it was because she was still clinging onto that one perfect night with Spike. In the midst of her thoughts, she realised Spike had spoken and was now looking at her expectantly.

“Huh?”

“I said, you want the big one or the little one?”

She was still confused until he nodded to the side and she spotted two demons, one larger, one smaller.

“Big one,” she answered automatically- she needed something to kill to relieve some of this tension.

If she had been more in control of her senses, she would have paused to calm herself, but instead she flew forward and attacked the demon viciously. Both demons turned out to be more of a challenge than expected and she was using every trick in the book to fight it. She glanced to her right and for a moment, she was stilled.

She had never really watched Spike fight before- usually pretty caught up in fighting him back- and it was intoxicating, the way he moved: all that passion and energy. She was quickly snapped back to the present when her demon howled and swung a rather large branch at her.



Before she could even think, she heard a growl and soon found herself on the ground, covered by Spike as the branch barely missed the top of his head. Luckily, he seemed to be more in control of his motor skills than she was and he rolled them both over as the demon swung again and then jumped to his feet, dragging her with him. However much she might have preferred to stay that close to him, there were more important things to be dealing with right now. She launched herself at the demon, managing to snatch the branch from it and smash it round the demon’s head. His demon long dead, Spike jumped in and with one sharp motion, broke the demon’s neck, sending it sprawling to the floor.

“Almost got yourself hurt there, Slayer,” he murmured half-angrily, one hand just grazing her arm.

“I got...distracted.”

“I noticed,” he commented, “But try not to, eh? I much prefer your head on your shoulders.”

She nodded meekly, pondering briefly the madness of the last few minutes, and then her gaze rose to his again.

“Well, I better get home. But, err, thanks for watching my back.”

“Anytime.”

She turned to go but his quiet voice stopped her.

“You take care, Slayer.”

“Sure,” she whispered with a weak smile.



“On your way home?”

So caught up in thoughts of the evening, she jumped at the sound of Riley’s voice.

“Riley! You scared me!”

“Sorry. You okay? Not like you to be that easy to scare.”

“Just thinking, you know.”

“Maybe you should stop thinking so much,” he murmured, reaching out to brush a hand across her hair tenderly. As always, she tried not to think of Spike’s cool touch and forced a weak smile.

“You know me.”

“Sometimes,” he said, brown eyes fixed on hers, “Other times I feel like we’re on two different planets.”

He was doing that slightly hurt look and it made her feel all sorts of guilty. Sure, he didn’t know that those times when she was supposedly on a different planet, she was usually getting lost in thoughts of Spike but she still felt bad.

“Sorry. Just, you know, slaying and stuff.”

“You won’t talk to me about anything.”

“I guess I’m just not really a talking person, Riley. I’m sorry.”

He sighed but finally moved and she fell into step beside him, knowing he would walk her home whether she wanted him to or not.



“Did you see Spike tonight?”

Coming completely out of the blue and during a particularly awkward silence, she was surprised by Riley’s question.

“Huh?”

“Spike. You smell of smoke.”

“Oh. Yeah. He helped me patrol.”

At her boyfriend’s look of surprise, she continued.

“Excuse to hit something, I guess.”

“Oh, right.”

He was silent again and she narrowed her eyes, watching him.

“You’re not doing it again, are you?”

This time he was the surprised one and he turned to face her.

“Doing what?”

“Deciding I’m sleeping with Spike.”

“No,” he protested weakly, “I just...I don’t like him being around you.”

“He can’t hurt me.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

She was silent, waiting for him to explain that particular sentence, and he finally turned to her, sighing.

“I don’t think Spike’s as unselfish as you think. I think he’s interested in you. And I don’t like it.”

“Don’t be silly, Riley. This is Spike you’re talking about. Frankly, I just think he likes annoying me...and he probably hopes he can at least witness the moment someone kills me, since he can’t do it himself.”

Riley frowned but said nothing else and they finally reached her house in silence. She bore his kiss but soon excused herself and fled into the safety of her house.