Awkward Visits

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The problem with mothers is that they always want to know what is going on in your life. And if you have a new boyfriend (or a newly-reinstated boyfriend anyway) they feel it necessary to make sure they have their part of the action. As soon as her mother had heard she was back with Riley- although being slightly confused by the turnaround- she had insisted that Buffy bring him home at least once so she could actually get to meet him. She made some typical mom-like comment about wanting to meet him at least once in case he got dumped again soon. Buffy wasn’t sure how to take that comment but decided just to do what her mother said.

So, sure enough, here she was walking by Riley’s side to her house after a quiet patrol. The walk so far had been almost painfully silent and she breathed a sigh of relief as they reached her house. They made their way up the steps and she pushed the door open, gesturing Riley in behind her. As soon as she stepped inside, she heard lowered voices and when she rounded the door, she was floored to see Spike sat on the sofa, chatting with her mother.



“Hi,” she got out, her eyes fixing on his before darting to her mother. She could practically feel the tension coming off of Riley to her side and didn’t need to look at him to know he was probably scowling at the sight of the vampire.

“Time I got going.”

Her mother looked like she wanted to stop Spike and Buffy wished she would but instead, he rose to his feet without protest.

“See you later, Joyce.”

“Do come round...whenever. You’re always welcome.”

He was moving towards her now and her eyes met his again and she felt her heart jolt.

“I’ll, err, walk you to the door,” she suggested quietly and his eyes widened a tiny amount in surprise, “Mom, this is Riley.”

Her mother took her cue and rose to her feet, launching into a frenzied questioning of Riley’s origins as she and Spike made their way through to the kitchen. They stood next to each other somewhat awkwardly and she raised her eyes to him, scanning his face.

“How are you?” she asked quietly. After all, it had been an agonising ten days since she had last seen him. Not that she was counting.

“Just fine, Slayer.”

Again, that name that cut in so many ways.

“And you?” he asked, his eyes softening as they met hers.

“Can’t complain,” she murmured with a soft smile.

There was a moment of silence and it seemed like he was going to say something but then he sighed, glancing towards the door.

“You better go save Soldier Boy from the interrogation.”

“Yeah,” she answered uncertainly.

“Bye.”

Before she could answer, he was gone and she turned back towards the living room.



She strolled back into the living room and found her mother settling in for a nice, long interrogation, it seemed.

“So, you go to UC Sunnydale as well?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re studying Psychology? You were the assistant of that Professor Walsh?” her mother spat out- disgusted with the woman who had tried to hurt her daughter.

“Err, yeah.”

“Mom,” Buffy tried to cut in but her mother continued.

“And did you know about her other work?”

“Mom, I told you before. Riley was part of the Initiative.”

“Right, the soldiers who tried to do your job.”

She wanted to laugh out loud at her mother’s words but instead smiled and settled next to Riley.

“The soldiers who put the chip in Spike’s head, right?”

Her mother was definitely on the offensive now and she could see Riley looking more and more uncomfortable.

“Mom-“

“It’s true though, isn’t it?”

“Well, ma’am-“

“Mum, why don’t you tell me how it’s going down the gallery?”

For a moment, she feared her mother wouldn’t take her hint but she did and eventually the conversation was steered down a much less dangerous route.



Riley left not longer after and she slumped down on the sofa next to her mother, letting out a deep breath.

“Wasn’t so bad, was it?” her mother asked.

“You mean except for the bit where you accused him of being a vampire-torturing evil thing?”

“I said nothing like that.”

“You were thinking it though,” Buffy answered with a smile and her mother laughed.

“I’m sorry. I just really don’t like the idea of them doing that to Spike.”

“Me neither,” she admitted, “What, err, what was he doing here earlier?”

“Just ‘popping by’, he claimed. I think he might have been looking for you but he stayed to chat, which was nice. I think he’s a bit lonely.”

Despite her insight into Spike’s life she had never imagined him being lonely- and she was suddenly struck with the idea, and with guilt. He was a vampire outcast and he’d been pretty much pushed out of their group as well. He had no-one, not even just to hang with. She was pretty much taking it for granted that he hadn’t invited Harmony around lately, because it hurt too much to imagine it otherwise.

“You think?” she breathed, frowning.

“You two don’t seem to be spending much time together lately.”

She snapped out of her daze and sat up straight, avoiding her mother’s bright gaze.

“Well, you know, I’ve got Riley... and slaying and stuff. I’ve just been busy.”



After her conversation with her mother, she couldn’t help the pangs of conscience that kept hitting her and so, somewhat reluctantly, she made her way to Spike’s crypt the next night. As she came close to the door, she felt a wave of nerves come over her- and overwhelming memories of that one perfect night. Pushing aside memories of that night, she knocked lightly on the door and pushed it open, moving inside. There was no sight of him at first and she frowned, but realised that she could feel him close.

“Spike?” she called out.

And then he appeared from the lower level, pulling on a shirt and running a hand through his messy hair. He looked mouthwateringly good but she finally forced a small smile and spoke up.

“Hey.”

“Slayer. Haven’t seen you round here for a while.”

There was something- a challenge- in his voice but she ignored it, avoiding his eyes.

“Yeah, just thought I’d...err...” -she was lost for ideas and grabbed for the first one she got- “I thought I’d say thanks. For, err, visiting my mum. I think, err, she likes it when you visit.”

He seemed just as unimpressed with her excuse as she felt but finally, he smiled softly and settled into his armchair.

“Yeah, well, she’s a good woman. Nice to have some company.”

She felt that pang of guilt again and her eyes went wide when his narrowed on hers.



Before she could even speak, he was on his feet.

“Bugger off, Slayer.”

“What?” she breathed, not quite grasping what was going on as he took her arm and began to lead her to the door.

“I said, bugger off. Leave me alone. Don’t need you coming round here pitying me. Gracing me with your company.”

“It’s not like that,” she protested.

“Bloody well is, and you know it.”

She was at the door and he had one hand on it, ready to close it behind her no doubt- but she stood her ground.

“I...I just wanted to see you.”

“Why?” he asked sharply, drawing her eyes to his.

“I...well, I kind of...miss you.”

The last came out in a whisper and even as she spoke it, she realised it was true. She missed the easy friendship they had shared back before everything had got complicated. She remembered with a pang now the long hours she had spent in his crypt, talking about everything and nothing. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t even noticed how he’d got closer until his hand pushed a hair back from her face.

“Miss you too, Slayer.”

“Buffy,” she whispered, lost in the blue of his eyes.

“Buffy,” he echoed.



For a long moment, neither of them moved but then her treacherous body- prompted by her even more treacherous heart- leant towards him. He was so close, she could smell him, could feel his light breathing against her lips. Her eyes met his and locked and she felt his fingers graze her arm. Her eyes flew to his lips- those deceptively soft lips- and she found herself licking her suddenly dry lips. God, she wanted him so much.

Suddenly, reality came crashing down around her as his arm wound around her and with a gasp, she pulled away from him, somehow wiggling out of his embrace.

“We can’t,” she mumbled, afraid to meet his gaze.

“Buffy-“

“I’m sorry. I was so stupid to come here.”

“Please-“

His hand was on her arm, his eyes pleading her not to go- but how could she stay?

“I have to go, Spike.”

“No, you don’t.”

“You know I do. We can’t do this.”

“Why the hell not?” he growled, but with less anger than she might have expected. She sighed but despite his protest, he released her, allowing her to step back.

“I’m so sorry, Spike.”

She turned to the door, feeling his eyes on her- almost willing her to turn back- but forced herself onwards, closing the door behind her.