Pain

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She dozed for only a short while, more than aware of the pain Spike was in, even in his unconscious state. She woke and pushed herself up on her elbow, looking at his bruised face. She felt a wave of anger pass through her and she clenched her jaw tightly. Everything in her was screaming to go after Riley and make him hurt for what he had done to Spike. Right now, though, the vampire in question was her priority and she needed to make him better.

The sleep had helped him only a small amount and he still looked bad. She pushed herself up, leaning against the headboard as she stroked her fingers through his hair gently. He moved into her touch in his sleep and she smiled tearfully.

“Spike, baby?” she murmured, tracing her fingers over his cool skin.

He shifted ever so slightly and she winced as she felt a rush of pain. He let out a low hiss of pain and she called his name.

“Spike?”

He moaned, slowly coming round, and his one good eye finally found hers.

“Buffy,” he breathed in surprise.

“Hey,” she whispered, unable to stop from stroking his hair.

He tried to move and groaned and she placed her hand to his chest gently.

“Don’t try to move. You’re still not healed up.”

He groaned again and fell back against the pillows, closing his eye in frustration.



“You need blood,” she murmured meaningfully and his eye fixed on hers again as he frowned.

“Buffy-“

“Don’t even try to stop me,” she answered with a smile, already rolling the sleeve of her top up, “You need it.”

“But I-“

She glared him down.

I’ll make you drink it if I have to.

He said nothing, closing his eye again and she shifted closer, sensing his acquiescence- really, he was too weak to resist. She raised her wrist to his lips and let out a tiny sigh as his tongue darted out and traced her skin.

She felt more than saw his fangs descend and let out a little gasp as they pierced her soft skin. A golden eye met her gaze and she smiled, raising her other hand to cup his cheek. He took no more than five long pulls from her wrist, each making her headier than the last, and finally passed his tongue over her skin, sealing the wound. He pressed a kiss to her skin and she dropped her arm with a smile.

“Better?” she whispered with a shaky smile.

He smiled softly and she lay back down on the pillow next to him, unable to stop her eyes from watering as he turned to her. His beautiful face was still bruised and she reached out a hesitant hand and traced his swollen cheek.



“I hate him so much,” she whispered, her voice shaking.

“Buffy,” he murmured soothingly, one hand shifting to graze her arm.

“I want him to hurt. I hate what he did to you. I wish I’d been there. I should have-”

“Stop it,” he got out painfully.

She bit her lip and turned her gaze from his, trying to rein in her emotions. She felt his touch on her cheek and her eyes snapped back to him.

“Not...your fault.”

She dropped her gaze from his but nodded.

“I know. I just...” I can’t bear to see you like this.

I’ll be better in no time.

She shook her head and leant forward, resting it tentatively against his chest.

“I love you.”

“Love you,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her head.

“I was so afraid I was going to lose you.”

“Never lose me. M’right here.”

She was unable to stop a new rush of emotion though and she struggled to hold back her tears.

“Shh.”

She nodded but was still unable to stop, brushing the tears from her cheeks helplessly.



His hand touched her hair and she raised her watery gaze to his, sniffling helplessly.

“C’mon...s’okay.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, brushing the back of her hand over her eyes in vain.

“Nice to know you care so much.”

She smiled sadly and nodded.

“I do. And I...I’m sorry I lied about it for so long.”

“Shh. S’not the time for...blaming.”

She nodded and sniffed again, finally calming.

“You need to rest some more and heal up.”

“Feel rough,” he admitted.

“You looked it when I got you here. I’m just glad my mom was here to fix you up.”

“Joyce?” he asked in surprise and she smiled.

“Turns out she’s very pro-us.”

“Yeah?” he asked with a tiny smile.

“Apparently so.”

He smiled softly and she sat up, brushing a hand over his cheek.

“Now rest. I’ll be back in the morning to check on you.”

“Where you going?”

“I’m too antsy to rest. I’m gonna go watch some TV or something.”

He nodded helplessly, his head lolling against the pillow. With a smile, she pushed herself off the bed and made her way downstairs.



She found nothing on the TV to distract her sufficiently and made her way into the kitchen, sitting at the worktop idly. Most of all, she wanted to be out there, hunting Riley down and making him hurt as much as she was hurting – as much as Spike was hurting. She clenched her fists at the thought and felt her nails digging into her skin. Only the wish to stay near Spike in case he needed something kept her still and she took several deep breaths to try and calm herself.

She finally raised her head – and started as she spotted movement at the kitchen door. She was on her feet in seconds and she shoved the door open, her eyes turning cold as she spotted the figure lingering just outside.

“Riley,” she spat out, and she felt a little thrill at just how scared he looked. He was unsteady on his feet and his neck was sloppily bandaged. She crossed her arms, remaining in the threshold as she stared him down, having to force herself with every bit of her self-control not to attack him.

“Buffy,” he got out weakly, “I needed to talk to you.”

“I don’t think there’s anything you can say that I want to hear,” she bit out, her hands clenching into fists unconsciously.

“Maybe you do want to hear this,” he murmured quietly, raising his eyes to hers, “I’m leaving.”

She was silent and with a nervous look, he continued.

“The military want me back.”

“Well, good for you,” she got out sarcastically.

“Buffy...” he started, and then trailed off, his eyes scanning hers.



“I never wanted this to happen.”

“What, so you just happened to turn up in Spike’s crypt...and accidentally beat him to a pulp?” she bit out, reaching out to grip the doorjamb in a tight grip to steady herself.

“He’s changed you.”

“No, I’ve changed myself! I realised that I was living a lie...being with you... It makes me sick to think I ever wanted you.”

He paled and she stared him down, never wavering.

“I was never enough for you.”

“No, you weren’t,” she commented, not missing his wince, “You could never give me what I need.”

“And he can?”

“Yes.”

He was silent and she took a deep breath.

“So, you can just go, Riley. And if I ever see you anywhere near anyone I love again... you won’t get away with one little bite,” she warned, her hard gaze falling to his neck.

He turned slowly, glanced back at her, and then moved away into the darkness. She exhaled sharply and sank to the floor, leaning her head against the doorframe, all of her energy sapped.