Living

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She didn’t know how she made it through that long, long night. Even when her whole body had gone numb from sitting on the floor, she could not bear to move from her position, or from Spike’s tight embrace. He had growled at her friends when they had tried to intervene and she was glad to hear them retreat to the living room, leaving her with her pain and her grief. She just sat there, rocking slightly, her eyes fixed on the tiled floor as Spike murmured soft words of comfort to her, his hand stroking her hair and her back over and over again.

When finally sleep threatened to claim her though, she shifted uncomfortably and as if sensing her need, Spike helped her to her feet and then led her upstairs to her bedroom. She could not look at her friends as they passed them and instead kept her eyes on the floor, knowing that if she looked at them, she would break down again. She felt Spike’s arm tighten around her waist and she clung to his free hand, desperate for the soothing touch of his skin. He disappeared for a few short minutes but returned shortly afterwards and helped her to change into her pyjamas, before guiding her into her bed and curling up behind her, his arms wrapped tightly around her.



The funeral was even worse and she barely knew how she had stayed on her feet that long. When the grave had been lowered into the ground, she had wavered and had felt Spike’s arm twine around her waist, holding her upright as she dipped her head, trying to hold back her tears. She was infinitely glad then of the overcast day that had meant the vampire could be by her side.

The wake was one of the worst experiences of her life and she had had to escape after a short time, fleeing upstairs to the safety of her room and breaking down in the arms of the vampire as he held onto her tightly. She had not ventured downstairs until after most of the guests had left and had downed more wine than she could handle, even though Spike stopped her from having a fourth glass. He had guided the bottle away from her and she had met his eyes with a pained look but he had run his hand over her arm and she had relinquished her glass, her head already pounding. She slept like a log in the arms of the vampire.



If all of that hadn’t been bad enough, then selling her mother’s house threatened to send her over the edge. Once again, it was only the vampire’s presence that kept her upright as she signed the papers. She moved into a small apartment in the centre of town, urging the vampire to move in with her almost instantly so she would not be alone. Surprisingly, the Scoobies took this as a matter of course and even threw the pair an impromptu housewarming party. Whether it was because they truly accepted them as a couple - as they so obviously had become - or whether it was because they knew she was too fragile at that point, she would never know. They accepted it though and it made just one aspect of her life a tiny bit easier.



Somehow she made it through those first few months without her mother and she knew it would not have been possible without the unfailing devotion of the vampire – and, to a lesser extent, the support of her friends. The vampire she thanked on an almost daily basis, wanting him to know just what it meant to her that he had stayed by her side.

“’Course I was at your side,” he would reply, drawing her into his embrace, “Always will be, love.”

“I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

“You shush now. Was just glad you let me be there.”

She gave in and wrapped her arms around him tightly, breathing in his unique scent.

“Spike?”

“Yes, love?”

“You’ll never leave me?” she whispered, unable to keep the tremor out of her voice.

“Never,” he answered instantly, tightening his arms around her, “I’m yours, Buffy. Always will be.”

She nodded and clung to him even tighter, her heart beating faster at even the thought of losing the most important person left in the world to her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she let out a shaky sigh.

It’ll be alright, love.

She nodded again and when he guided her mouth to his, she kissed him hungrily, wrapping her arms around him tightly and letting him guide her to their bed. He laid her down on the covers and peeled off her clothes with soft, reverent touches, his eyes never moving from hers. He shucked off his own clothes in half the time and then he was covering her, his skin cool against hers as he enveloped her in his tight embrace. His forehead pressed to hers, his eyes fixed on hers, he entered her and she let out a sigh of content.



They moved achingly slowly at first and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, tears welling up in her eyes at the love in his. He opened up the connection between them and the sensations of love and desire flowed back and forth, overwhelming her. She closed her eyes, revelling in the sensation of his body against hers and the feel of completion that it always gave her when they were joined. How could she have ever denied her feelings for him? Every time she looked at him, she thought she would burst with the love that swelled up inside her.

It was no different now as he moved against her, breathing heavily even though he didn’t need to, his eyes tinged with golden as he struggled to suppress his demon. She guided him to her neck though, arching against him as his fangs scraped her skin.

“I love you,” she whispered and it was all the incentive he needed as he buried his fangs in her skin. He pulled on her blood, sending her careening over the edge and released her quickly.

“Mine,” he growled, his arms crushing her against his chest.

“Yours,” she gasped, her body following his into another earth-shattering climax, “Yours. Always yours.”


THE END