Joan & Randy


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“Joan!” he called, warning her of the vampire at her back and giving her time to duck and spin into a kick, sweeping the vampire off his feet. She threw him a smile and crouched to drive the stake through the vampire’s chest. At the same time, Randy killed two vampires in quick succession and she righted herself, giving him a smile. He wasn’t so bad for a vampire. She nodded to the right as a weird shark-headed demon approached and Randy swirled to face it, grimacing at the sight of it. It went up to him and started to speak to him.

“You're an odd duck, Mister Spike. Fighting your own kind ... palling around with a Slayer. And whoa, that suit! Chutzpah must be your middle name.”

“Randy, who’s Spike?” she called out and he glanced at her over his shoulder.

“No idea,” he answered with a shrug, turning back to the demon.

“Hey, look, um ... about our little debt problem, it's okay, I don't need the kittens.”

With a final, scared look the demon left them and she frowned as Randy turned back to her and gave her a ‘no idea’ look, complete with shrug.

“Do you think we should head back to the shop?” she asked, not entirely used to this taking charge thing, especially as Randy was just as strong as her by the looks of it, “See if Rupert and Anya have found anything?”

“Seems as good an idea as any.”

She moved forward and they set off for the shop side-by-side.



“Hey, d’you think the others know ‘bout me?” Randy spoke up after some time and she turned to him.
“’Bout the vampire thing?”

“You mean, when we all have full memories? I don’t know. Maybe you kept it a secret.”

“Maybe,” he mused.

“Do you want to tell them?” she asked and he grimaced.

“After your reaction, maybe not, love.”

She frowned and gave him an embarrassed smile.

“Sorry about that. I just saw that you were a vampire and ran.”

He smiled slightly and gave a half-shrug.

“Guess I can’t blame you.”

She smiled and they continued on, she unable to shake a certain feeling niggling at her.

“Randy...do you think we’re...”

She trailed off uncertainly and he turned to her, blue eyes fixing on her.

“Yeah, love?” he asked, coming to a halt.

She paused for a moment, opened her mouth – and then shook her head.

“Never mind. It’s nothing.”

He gave her a strange look but when she smiled hesitantly, he looked away and they moved off once again, coming within sight of the shop. She personally couldn’t wait to find out who she really was because there were plenty of questions in her mind – many of them about the vampire by her side. Her friend the vampire?



They entered the shop and she frowned when there was no sign of any of the others. The shop was eerily quiet and she moved to one of the tables, sitting down and resting her chin on her hand.

“Well, now what?” she murmured, looking around the empty shop. It really was full of strange things. She dragged her gaze away from a jar of suspicious-looking parts as Randy settled on a chair next to her.

“I guess we wait it out.”

She sighed and leant back on the chair.

“It’s not like we know where anywhere else is.”

He smiled softly and leant back in his chair, stretching his long legs out in front of him. They fell into a somewhat awkward silence and she sighed, sneaking glances at him as she continued to survey the shop.

“I’m sure they’ll be back soon,” she spoke up after a long silence.

“Yeah,” he answered, his hands twitching in his pockets.

They were silent again and she bit her lip, looking round the room for some sort of inspiration. Finding none, she gave up and drew her legs up onto the chair, wrapping her arms around herself.

“You alright?” Randy asked and she looked over to find him studying her, his head tilted at an angle. She felt a little fluttering in her stomach at the look he was giving her but she smiled awkwardly.



“I hate this.”

He remained quiet, prompting her to continue.

“I hate not knowing who I am. Not knowing my last name … my address … my age, for God’s sake!”

She sighed and rested her chin against her raised knees, giving him an exasperated look.

“Nothing we can do but wait, I guess.”

“In case you haven’t guessed, I don’t do patient well,” she commented and he smiled softly.

“Same.”

They fell silent again and she let out another sigh, inspecting her shoes.

“I’d put you at twenty-one, maybe twenty-two.”

She raised her head and gave him a half-hearted smile.

“Thanks.”

He smiled again and then ducked his head, pulling a lighter out of his pocket and flicking it open before snapping it shut again. She sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head against her knees. Where had the others got to?



There was no sound in the room but the clicking of Randy’s lighter as he fiddled with it and finally she had to break the silence.

“I don’t even know you,” she commented, looking at him.

“Well, that makes two of us,” he commented with a grimace, “Name’s Randy... vampire... and apparently I smoke.”

He flicked the lighter shut and replaced it in his pocket, crossing his arms and bouncing his leg. It was kind of sweet, the way he couldn’t sit still. She could feel the same buzz in herself though- especially after the fight with the vampires. She felt like she had only just got warmed up and it was a strange thought that maybe she might have liked the violence.

She unfolded her legs and sat up in the chair, once again looking around the room in boredom. Her eyes landed on Randy once again and she studied him from under her eyelashes as he picked his nails. The tweed was not a good look, but despite that, there was definite potential. Not her usual type – well, she thought not – but definitely not bad. His eyes rose to hers just then and she froze as he caught her watching him. She got that funny feeling once again and once again she couldn’t help wondering if maybe she and Randy were more than friends.

She realised then she was still staring at him – not that he had looked away either – and she averted her eyes awkwardly, focussing on a spot on the floor.

“Joan-“

Whatever Randy had been about to say was prevented as the door to the shop suddenly flew open and they both braced themselves, only to relax again when they recognised the group.

“There you are!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet, “We were waiting for ages.”

The group shuffled into the room, some looking more miserable than others and she frowned. There was definitely not a happy vibe coming off the group. Rupert looked up as she greeted them and smiled wearily.

“Ahh, Buffy, you’re back,” he commented and she frowned, looking behind her before sharing a confused look with Randy.

“Erm, who’s Buffy?”



Suddenly all eyes were fixed on her and she frowned.

“What?!”

Rupert moved forward, removing his glasses and polishing them before studying her once more with his glasses on.

“Do you know who you are?” he asked.

“Well, duh. Joan. We did this before. Did you guys lose your memories again while me and Randy were fighting the vampires?”

There was a look of bewilderment on the faces of the group and she shared another confused look with Randy as Rupert turned to Willow.

“I want the exact details of that spell,” he bit out, “Something’s obviously gone wrong.”

“I don’t understand. It- it should have finished when the crystal got broken,” Willow stuttered nervously, glancing at the group, “There’s no reason they shouldn’t remember...”

She trailed off and the whole group turned back to her and Randy. She glanced at him and gave him a wry smile.

“Guess we’re the ones who don’t remember, huh?”

“Seems so,” he murmured as he studied the group, as if looking at them long enough might bring back memories, “So, Dad, what’s the plan?”

Rupert looked horrified and took to cleaning his glasses again.

“I am not your father... thank God.”

She glanced at Randy and saw realisation dawn in his expression.

“Well, I guess not, me being dead and all.”

Rupert turned back to them in surprise, his eyes fixed on Randy.

“You know you’re a vampire?”

“Well, haven’t seen for myself…” he explained uncertainly, “But Joan says so...Apparently gave her a bit of a fright.”

He glanced at her and she smiled, before turning to Rupert.

“But he’s a good vampire, right? I mean, we figured he must be because he was helping me... and he didn’t want to bite me.”

Alex gave a cough and she frowned at him in confusion before turning back to Rupert, not exactly relieved by his frown.

“Well, err, it’s complicated... but yes, Spike – err, Randy – does fight on your side.”

“Spike,” Randy repeated quietly, raising his head, “That’s me, isn’t it? That’s my name.”

“Yes,” Rupert confirmed.

“Well, anything’s better than Randy, I guess,” he murmured with a shrug and she giggled, “What’s Joan’s real name then?”

“Buffy,” Rupert said and she frowned as Randy - Spike - burst out laughing.

“Hey!” she protested and he stopped, struggling to suppress his laughter, “Shut up, Spike!”

“Well, guess some things are instinctive,” Alex commented and she frowned, not understanding his comment.

“So, erm, me and Ran- Spike- are the only ones without our memories back?”

“It seems so,” Rupert explained with a look of sympathy, “But we’ll do some research and fix it as soon as possible.”

He turned and glared at Willow and she ducked her head. Buffy could only frown, not understanding the interaction between the two.