Secrets

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The Summers’ house was humming with activity and it was still only nine o’clock. A bleary-eyed Buffy sat curled up on the couch, the blanket she had slept under still wrapped around her. At least her sleep hadn’t been disturbed by any more nightmares, she thought thankfully. Although, if she’d known Giles was going to turn up at eight-thirty, she would have tried to get to sleep earlier. As it was, she was struggling to suppress her yawns as the research continued in her living room.

Giles had brought a veritable mountain of books to be looked through and she got a headache just looking at them. The others, although not thrilled, had soon begun to work their way through the books. She figured they had definitely been prompted by the realisation this morning that the memories were not going to suddenly come back over night – as some of them had obviously hoped.

As a result, the research seemed even more frantic than the day before and once again she got the feeling that they were desperate to get their leader back. Tired with watching them, she forced herself up off of the couch and headed for the kitchen. She found her sister talking to Spike and gave both of them a smile as she slid onto a stool.

“How’s it going in there?” Spike asked.

“Don’t ask!” she groaned, causing the two to laugh, “Is research always this mad?”

“Erm...sometimes,” Dawn explained, “But, well, you don’t usually wait. You’re usually Miss Action, you know.”

Buffy smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I figured that.”

She shared a smile with the vampire and turned back to her sister.

“So, do we have any food?”



As the day wore on, she began to realise that staying indoors was driving her mad. She could not sit still and she found herself pacing the floor outside the living room, waiting for the ‘eureka’ that would save her. There seemed to be little progress though and she found herself itching to do something, anything, to solve this problem quicker. When she found Spike hiding out on the shaded back porch, she was almost tempted to start smoking. He just looked so relaxed with cigarette in hand, leaning against the wall of the house.

“Do you work at being this cool?” she asked him and he arched an eyebrow in amusement.

“Not particularly.”

“How are you not going mad?”

“Know I can’t do anything but wait.”

“But still... Arghh! I feel like I might scream!”

He gave her a crooked smile and took a long drag on his cigarette, puffing the smoke out in a grey cloud.

“Know the feeling, love. Don’t like this any more than you do.”

“But you’re, like, Mr. Cool.”

“Maybe I’m just good at pretending,” he commented with a slight smile, “But I can tell you, I can’t wait to remember.”

She nodded in agreement and leant back against the wall beside him, surprised by just how much calmer she felt around him.



Some time later, the group suddenly buzzed into motion and, drawn from the kitchen by the noise, Buffy rushed into the living room. As she entered the room though, Giles was just taking a book from a wide-eyed Willow and tucking it under his arm, giving Buffy a warm smile.

“What’s up?” she asked with a slight frown.

“Nothing at all. I just... I believe it would be more beneficial to move the research to the shop.”

She saw Willow frown in confusion and frowned herself, sure she was missing something.

“Well, cool, shop it is.”

“No,” Giles blurted out, and then gave her another calm smile, “Maybe you should stay here, Buffy. We shall of course contact you if we find anything. There’s no need for you to be bored for no reason.”

Okay, something was definitely being hidden from her and she frowned, but when she looked at the redheaded witch, Willow gave her an encouraging smile. Turning back to Giles, she met his gaze.

“Well, actually, I was kinda thinking...maybe I could go...hunting, or whatever it is I do. You know, after the vampires.”

“Patrolling,” Xander supplied helpfully and she gave him a brief smile before turning back to Giles.

“Well, I don’t-“

“I still remember how to fight. Me and Spike took those vampires out in no time yesterday.”

Giles hesitated for a moment longer, glanced at the others, and then finally sagged and nodded.

“Just...be careful, Buffy. If you are in danger, come to us immediately.”

“Of course. I’ll be fine, anyway. Me and Spike will kick ass again.”

Giles gave her a hesitant smile, securing the book under his arm and beckoning the others to ready themselves.



Slayer and vampire were soon left alone in the empty house and she was almost bouncing with pent-up energy. Spike had been warned earlier that one ray of sunshine would be the end of him and so they were waiting for the last rays of the sun to disappear. Sunset was just minutes away and she was desperate to get out onto the streets of Sunnydale. Spike sat on the couch, watching her with amusement as she paced the short hallway.

“Pet, you’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you carry that on.”

She came to an abrupt halt and gave him a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, I just can’t wait.”

“Don’t think it’ll be too long now,” he remarked, glancing out at the darkening sky.
She forced herself to stay still until finally, about five minutes later, he announced that it looked like it was safe to go out. She was out the door in seconds and the vampire caught up with her at the path, falling into step beside her with a smile and a shake of his head.

In no time, they were in one of Sunnydale’s seemingly endless number of cemeteries and she slowed her pace, on the lookout for vampires.

“What do you think we look for?” she whispered, glancing over at the vampire beside her.

“Dunno. Guess we just hope we run into something.”



Spike’s words had been wishful thinking and after half hour of walking, they had found nothing. They left the first cemetery and soon found themselves in another one and by this time, Buffy was edgy with pent-up energy. She felt the urge to hit something growing quite scarily and breathed a sigh of relief when they finally spotted movement up ahead. They moved forward warily, but when they saw a girl being pinned to a tree with a vampire at her neck, Buffy cried out.

“Hey!”

The vampire spun round to face her with a grimace and growled at her. She heard a growl at her side and glanced over to see Spike in vampire face too. He looked at her, golden eyes meeting hazel, and she nodded, urging him on as she leapt towards the vampire. It wasn’t a perfect attack but it caught the vampire off-guard and he ended up releasing his dinner and she quickly fled from the scene.

He growled again and aimed a kick at her which she dodged just as Spike lunged forward and punched the vampire in the face. He stumbled backwards and she joined Spike in kicking it further back until it was pinned against a crypt. Spike somehow caught hold of the vampire, struggling to keep him still as Buffy tried to get her stake out of her pocket.

Finally, it was free, and she plunged it into the vampire’s chest, turning him to dust. She shared a smile with Spike and he looked behind him at the crypt.

“Hey, this is my crypt,” he exclaimed, “Recognise the decoration.”



He moved around the front and she followed him, moving through the door he opened and into a dim room. She was surprised to find it furnished – sparsely, but furnished nonetheless – and he turned to her with a smile.

“Not so bad, is it?”

“Guess not. Where’s your coffin?” she asked curiously, not seeing one in the large room.

He laughed slightly and pointed to a large hole in the floor.

“There’s another room down there with a big double bed.”

“Oh,” she got out in embarrassment, “Guess that’s a myth then, the sleeping in coffins thing.”

“Can say it doesn’t appeal to me none. Can’t speak for other vampires though.”

She smiled and moved further into the room, taking a peek at the magazines that were scattered on a table and running her hand over the television.

“It’s not so bad. It’s kinda...chic. Vampire chic.”

He chuckled lowly and she gave him a wide grin.

“Cheers.”

They were silent for a moment and then she spoke up with a sigh.

“Well, I guess we should get to the others. I have a feeling they’ll want a full report.”

With a smile, he followed her out of the crypt and back into the cemetery.



They finally found their way to the shop, getting lost once or twice along the way – and finding Sunnydale’s only club in the process – but finally finding their way to what Buffy recognised as the back of the shop. Luckily, the door was open and they went in, moving through what she had been told was her training room towards the door to the main part of the shop.

As they grew nearer, the voices from the next room became more distinct.

“But I don’t understand.” That was Xander. “You mean, they want to be memory-less?”

Signalling Spike to stay quiet, she stopped by the door, pressing her ear to it as Giles spoke up.

“Not a conscious desire, I believe, but yes. Some part of them wishes to lose the memories they had. And so the reversal of the spell did not affect them.”

“But why?” Willow murmured.

There was silence in the room and Buffy glanced back at Spike. He was listening intently and she turned back to the door, not daring to move into the room. It was obvious this was not something the group wanted to share with them yet.

“Well, duh,” Dawn spoke, “Wouldn’t you want to forget if you were Buffy?!”

There was another silence and she frowned at the belief that she would want to be stuck like this. What was so bad that she wanted to forget? Obviously there was something big in her past that no-one was telling her about.

“But what about Spike?” Willow asked.

“Yeah!” Xander piped up, “He loves bragging about his past and all the people he killed!”

“He used to,” Dawn spoke up again, “But now he wants to be better...for Buffy.”

“So he thinks having no memory will make Buffy look twice at him?!” Xander scoffed, “As if! Even without her memories, Buffy’s not that stupid!”

She didn’t want to hear anymore and she turned back to the vampire with a pained look. He met her eyes for a long moment, but then turned his gaze from hers. She moved forward though and rested her hand on his arm.

“Let’s get out of here,” she whispered.

He nodded, not meeting her eyes, and followed her soundlessly out of the shop once more.