Clearing The Air


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a long and awkward silence, she finally met Spike’s gaze, only to find him watching her. She gave him a shaky smile and he looked to the floor, seemingly embarrassed. She cleared her throat and looked around the room, desperately searching for something that could inspire her to break the oppressive silence. Her eyes landed on the television beside him and she cleared her throat again.

“Erm, does the TV work?” she asked quietly and his gaze whipped to hers. He glanced at the television to his left and gave her a shrug, getting to his feet.

“Maybe.”

He leant over and switched it on, and it roared into life, filling the crypt with the sounds of a Friends re-run. He glanced at her, not quite meeting her eyes, and gave her a weak smile.

“Apparently so.”

“Well, I just though we could maybe watch something… if you don’t want to-“

“S’fine, love,” he answered, moving away and returning to her side with a chair that he placed down a full metre from her and sat on.

She curled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, silently admitting that she had much preferred sharing the chair with him and feeling his strong arms around her. Obviously that wasn’t going to be an option though, she thought with a sigh.

“You alright?”

Her gaze flew to his and after a moment’s confusion, she nodded.

“Erm, fine. Just a bit cold.”

He instantly got to his feet and slipped off his long jacket, handing it to her.

“You really don’t-“

Before she could finish her sentence, he draped the coat over her and moved back to his chair.

“It’s fine.”

“Thanks,” she whispered, drawing the jacket around herself and breathing in the familiar scent of whiskey and smoke.



She didn’t know how long they had been sat there in silence, only the sounds of the television to be heard, but it was starting to make her edgy. Added onto the emotional upset she had already suffered today, it wasn’t exactly brightening her day- she just felt tired. With a sigh, she turned to the vampire.

“I guess I should get home.”

He dragged his gaze from the television and frowned, before his expression softened.

“Look, s’alright, pet. You can stay here.”

“I really don’t want to impose.”

“S’fine,” he murmured, “I know you don’t want to be facing them tonight. You can stay here again.”

“I-“

“No argument,” he interrupted, giving her a soft smile.

She smiled hesitantly and then glanced over towards the hole down to the lower level.

“In that case, I think I might head down… I’m a bit tired.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, love.”

He jumped to his feet and she got to hers slowly.

“It’s fine, really.”

He nodded and headed for the hole, dropping down into the darkness as she stood and gave a deep sigh before following him. As she reached the hole, light began to flicker in the lower room and she descended the ladder carefully and moved into the bedroom.



Spike finished lighting the candles and smoothed back the bedclothes, flashing her a slight smile. She moved round to the bed and sat on it, slipping the jacket from around her and holding it out to him. He took it, but instead of laying it down as she had expected, he slipped it on himself.

“Well, you get some sleep, pet, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Before she could even reply, he disappeared, leaving her alone in the room with a frown. Her tiredness winning out, she kicked off her shoes and lay down on the bed, pulling the covers over her. She shifted several times, trying to find a comfortable position, but finally gave up, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling.

The awkwardness between her and Spike had completely eclipsed her former anger at her so-called friends and all she could think of now was how that one kiss had ruined everything. And how she was sure she would be asleep in no time if Spike was here with her again and she was curled up in his arms: she had slept so well with him holding her last night.

She sighed and shifted again, rolling onto her side and hugging the pillow. It was weird, and also a little scary, how she felt such a strong connection to someone she had effectively known for three days: she felt closer to Spike than to any of her so-called friends. With another heavy sigh, she pushed the covers off, rolled out of bed and got to her feet.



She climbed back up into the upper level and found Spike slumped in the armchair, eyes closed with his hand on his brow and a bottle of beer in his hand. He looked up as soon as she stepped up into the room and his eyes widened.

“Everything okay?” he asked worriedly.

“Not really,” she admitted quietly, moving forward and perching on the same trunk he had been sitting on earlier, “I can’t sleep.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly and she forced herself to meet his gaze. She was being stupid, she knew, but she just couldn’t sleep without clearing the air between them.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?!” he got out, stunned, frowning at her in confusion.

She dropped her gaze but forced it back to his again.

“I’m sorry about earlier. It was my fault. I’m just...I guess I’m a bit fragile right now and I shouldn’t use you to-“

“Buffy, stop,” he remarked, eyes wide as they met hers, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.”

“I have. I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

“Pet, it was my fault.”

“I could have stopped you,” she commented and he froze.

She gave him then a shaky smile, her eyes meeting his.

“Can we just forget it? I... You’re about all I’ve got right now and I don’t want something as silly as...you know... to come between us. I was just being weak and you were looking out for me.”



He was completely silent and she looked up at him, unable to read his expression.

“Please, Spike,” she pleaded, “Don’t be mad at me.”

His eyes widened and he sat up straighter.

“I’m not mad at you,” he said in shock, “I’m mad at me.”

“Huh?”

“Shouldn’t have...taken advantage.”

“Spike-“

“M’sorry.”

They were silent for a long moment and finally, she couldn’t help but laugh. His gaze met hers and he smiled softly.

“Does this mean we’re friends again?” she asked with an encouraging smile.

“Only one I got, love.”

She sobered and her gaze softened.

“That’s not true, I’m sure. Dawn seems to like you...and Tara.”

“Thanks for trying, pet,” he commented with a slight smile.

She couldn’t help giggling slightly, more out of relief than anything else. They fell silent once more, but when she looked at him and smiled, he smiled back softly.

“Does it make me sound like a weird friend if I ask you to come to bed?” she asked quietly, her heart pounding as she waited for the tension to return once more. Instead, he smiled and shook his head slightly.

“Could hear you shuffling round down there.”

“I couldn’t get comfy,” she admitted with a slight pout, “I...I kinda seem to sleep better when you’re around.”

He gave her another smile, even though something crossed his gaze that she could not comprehend, and got to his feet.

“Come on then.”



They settled into the bed and she let out a sigh - of relief - this time as she curled up, sensing him just behind her. She rested her head against the pillow and smiled slightly. She could just feel his breath against the back of her neck and although he did not wrap his arm around her as he had yesterday, he was close enough to make her feel safe and warm.
After a long silence, she spoke up.

“Spike?” she whispered.

“Yeah, love?”

“I…I just wanted to say… I don’t know what we were like before… how good friends we were… I just wanted to say that you’ve been a really good friend these last few days. I don’t know how I would have coped without you.”

“Probably would have exploded,” he teased.

“I think you’re right,” she replied with a giggle.

She was silent for a moment, before rolling onto her back and turning towards him, just making out his features in the dim light. She reached out and covered his hand where it lay on the bedspread and squeezed it slightly.

“I guess I just wanted to say thank you. And that … whatever happens … I won’t forget what you’ve done for me. It means a lot.”

He said nothing but squeezed her hand back and she smiled once more. He leant over then and brushed a kiss against her forehead.

“Night, Buffy.”

With a smile, she released his hand and rolled back over, curling up to the pillow.

“Night, Spike.”