Soothing The Hurt


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She made it to the crypt in no time and went in hesitantly, scanning the empty upper level. Where else could he have gone though? They only knew four places in the whole town. Spurred on, she moved to the hole and climbed carefully down the ladder and into his bedroom. Luckily, some of the candles were still lit and she could just make out the outlines of the room- and most importantly, the figure sat on the end of the bed, a cloth held to his nose. He looked up in surprise as she entered the crypt and then quickly looked away again.

“Look, pet, need to be by myself just now.”

Ignoring his words, she moved forwards and crouched down in front of him, placing her hand over his where it held the cloth to his bloody nose.

“’Fraid I can’t do that,” she whispered with a half-smile, “Can’t go back to the shop now after my dramatic exit.”

He said nothing and his eyes met hers for a split second before he got to his feet and turned his back on her.

“Love, please, I just…”

“I’m not leaving you alone,” she remarked more firmly, moving to stand in front of him and catching his arm before he could turn away, “And I mean it.”

She placed her hand over his once more and coaxed the cloth out of his hand, dabbing it gently against his nose.

“Does it hurt?” she asked softly.

“Head’s spinnin’ a bit,” he admitted, “Felt like an electric shock right in my brain.”

She frowned and pulled the cloth away, seeing that his nose had stopped bleeding. She turned her back on him and placed the cloth down on a cabinet. With her back still to him, she took a deep breath and spoke quietly.



“Xander was out of line.”

“You don’t know that, pet,” he answered just as softly, sadness in his voice, “He’s probably right.”

She spun to face him and took the few steps separating them, meeting his resigned gaze with wide eyes.

“Don’t say that.”

“It might be true.”

She shook her head and when he turned his gaze away, she reached up and touched his cheek, forcing his eyes back to hers.

“It’s not true.”

Before he could protest, she continued.

“You are not a monster, do you hear me?”

He was silent, blue eyes shining as he looked down at her.

“I know, deep down, that you are not a monster. A monster would not be like this,” she whispered, stroking her thumb over his cheek, “A monster would not be this good to me.”

“Maybe I’m not usually,” he whispered, moving into her touch.

“Maybe that’s the good thing about losing our memories. The past means nothing right now… all that matters is the present.”

“I’d never hurt you, Buffy,” he murmured.

“I know.”



They stood there for a long time in silence, her hand resting on his cheek, his hand hovering inches from her arm.

“You’re a good man,” she whispered, “I know you are. You’ve been so good to me these last few days-”

“Bu-“

She moved her finger to his lips, cutting him off.

“You have. I wouldn’t have coped without you. I… I just feel so lost,” she murmured, meeting his bright gaze, “Except when I’m with you.”

His eyes widened ever so slightly and his hand finally came to rest on her arm in the gentlest barely-there touch.

“When I’m with you, everything makes sense,” she whispered sincerely, never moving her gaze from his, “When I’m with you, I’m not lost anymore.”

There was a tiny pause and then his lips collided with hers as she leant up, meeting him in the middle as both hands settled on her shoulders and drew her closer to him. One hand came to rest against his chest as her other hand twined around his neck, holding him close as she kissed him back passionately, letting out little gasps at the incredible sensations his kiss was provoking. He held her tightly against him, his mouth sliding over hers and deepening their kiss as she let out a helpless moan and sagged against him. Finally, she pulled away, breathless, and met his dark, hungry gaze.

“I don’t usually-“ she breathed, but then cut herself off with a harsh laugh, “Who am I kidding? For all I know I could be Slutty the Vampire Layer.”

“Buffy,” he said gently and her eyes flew to his once more.

“I’m okay. More kissing would be real good right about now.”



He complied with her request, dipping his head and catching her mouth in a hungry kiss, his arms banding round her and pulling her tightly against him. She wound her arms around him, one hand twisted in his hair as the other gripped his shoulder tightly. They parted again, both breathing heavily, and with a heavy-lidded gaze, she broke from his embrace and moved over to the bed, stopping beside it and turning back to him.

He was with her in no time, catching her up in his arms again and kissing her sensuously, his hands rising to bury in her hair. She let out a little moan and sank fluidly to the bed, bringing him with her, her hands now running franticly over his T-shirt, desperate to feel his cool skin. He broke away from her and supported himself above her and she took her chance, tugging his T-shirt off and throwing it to the floor. His eyes darkened and he breathed her name, the husky whisper sending a tremor through her.

Then he was with her again, his lips obliterating all thought from her mind as she trailed her hands across the smooth skin of his back.



It might as well have been her first time- well, who knew?- for the way she trembled as he pulled back and looked at her, his eyes dark with passion. And the trembling only increased as he began to unbutton her shirt with soft, reverent touches, stealing gentle kisses in between. But this couldn’t be their first time- not with the way he seemed to know her body, to be able to set every little nerve alight with grazing touches and scorching kisses. Maybe it was just him, but she couldn’t deny that they seemed to fit perfectly as she wrapped her arms tightly around him.

Somewhere along the line, he had managed to strip her entirely and get them both under the covers, but now he paused, looking down at her with such awe as he brushed a hand over her cheek.

“Buffy,” he whispered, his eyes seeming to search hers.

“Spike, please,” she murmured, tightening her grasp around his neck and meeting his lips in a long, sensuous kiss as he moved against her. She gasped at first but quickly grew accustomed to the feel of him and wrapped her arms and legs around him, urging him closer as she kissed him hungrily, one hand twisting in his hair. His mouth dropped to her neck and she let out a moan, urging him on, her hand splayed against his back.

“Spike,” she gasped, clinging onto him helplessly as the sensations built.

His mouth fastened on her neck, sucking on the skin almost to the point of pain and she moaned even louder, bucking helplessly against him. He sped up and she clung to him, matching his rhythm, gasping out her pleasure with every little movement.

“I can’t… Oh God… Spike!”

Just when she thought the pleasure/pain would never end, he bit down on her neck and she screamed out in pleasure, her mind going blank as she convulsed.



She slumped back on the pillow, exhausted, and closed her eyes- and suddenly she was bombarded by a rush of images: faces, places, things. Everything that just seconds ago had been lost in some deep recess of her mind. She froze and felt Spike do the same and when he pulled back to meet her own wide eyes, she saw the shock in his eyes.

“Buffy,” he got out hesitantly, half-unbelieving.

She did not move for a long moment, staring at him in shock – until suddenly her brain kicked into gear and with the slightest hint of movement on her part, he shifted and she scrambled away from him, clutching the sheet to her.

“Oh God,” she whispered.

“Buffy,” he said, his voice shaking, “I didn’t mean to-“

Holding out a shaking hand to stop him, she shook her head, unable to look at him.

“Not now, Spike, please. I can’t…” she trailed off helplessly and, with the sheet still wrapped around her, began to search the floor for her clothes. She dressed as quickly as she could, still unable to look at the vampire as she fastened her clothes with shaking hands.

“I should get to the shop,” she murmured, half to herself, “Tell the others.”

“About this?” he asked and she finally met his gaze with wide eyes.

“No,” she answered after a small pause, “Not about this.”

He nodded and then pulled the remaining sheet over him, turning his head away from her. She stared at him helplessly for a long moment and then turned and left the crypt hurriedly, her heart pounding in her chest.

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A/N: Promise not to shoot me? I am going away for 10 days today so there will be no updates until I get back. Sorry to leave you on this cliffhanger. I hope you're all still here when I get back!