Content


I'm sneaking another update in today, mainly because I really need to do some revision and this story is stealing all my time! :-)

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She couldn’t remember ever feeling this content. She shifted her head against Spike’s shoulder and let out a little sigh as she felt him press a kiss to the top of her head.

“I never dreamed this might happen,” he murmured, his arms tightening ever so slightly around her. She tilted her head and met his soft gaze, taken aback at the emotions spilling out of his expressive eyes.

“I’m sorry about last time,” she whispered and he arched an eyebrow in question, “Running out on you.”

“S’okay, love. Bit of a bruise to the ego, but I understood.”

“What a time to get your memories back!”

He chuckled and pulled her close, brushing his lips against her forehead.

“God, just stake me now. I must be dreaming. This can’t be real.”

“It’s real,” she whispered, reaching out and twining her fingers in his, “It’s very real.”

He guided her face upwards, his eyes searching hers, before dipping his head and catching her lips in his. It was almost like he was testing her and she leant into him with a sigh, losing herself in his kiss. He pulled back again though, his fingers grazing over her cheek as he watched her with a gaze full of awe.

“God, Buffy… what you do to me.”

“I know the feeling,” she whispered with a smile.

“I still can’t believe you’re here,” he murmured, studying her features as he twirled a strand of hair around his fingers.

“I haven’t been able to sleep in my bed for days,” she admitted with a blush, “Not since I stayed here with you.”

He smiled widely - a smile she realised she had never seen on Spike before - and then leaned down to kiss her softly.



It was when he kissed her that she knew she was truly lost. When he was kissing her, she could forget about everything else… and damn but that was intoxicating. She could lose herself in his kiss and for just a few precious seconds, she was not the Slayer; she had no responsibilities. She was just Buffy.

She pulled away from him, gasping for breath even as she smiled softly, resting her head against him as his hands trailed over her hair and shoulders. He pressed a kiss against her forehead and she smiled, just breathing in the scent of him.

“I could stay here forever,” she murmured, her lips brushing his chest.

“Can I get that in writing?” he murmured with a soft chuckle and she giggled, moving to rest against him again.

“Sure,” she answered lazily, closing her eyes and smiling blissfully.

“Might want to let the li’l Bit know.”

She laughed lightly and moved to roll onto her back, resting on his arm.

“She’s the only one I care about anyway.”

“Things that bad with your friends?” he asked, his hand skimming over her shoulder.

She sighed and closed her eyes briefly, shifting her head to touch his shoulder- instantly soothed by the touch of his skin.

“Let’s just say we’re not really on good speaking terms right now.”

She fell silent and sighed again, wishing she hadn’t started to think about it: the whole thing just got her down. Spike pulled her to him though and pressed a kiss to her forehead and she wrapped her arm around his waist, burying her head in his neck.

“You know Giles is leaving?”

“Nibblet told me.”

She sighed again and felt him tighten his arms around her.

“He seems to think it’ll be good for me.”

“Fool,” Spike murmured, his voice muffled against her hair.

She gave a half-laugh, shaking her head slightly.



She was silent for a moment and then she spoke up.

“This is what I like about you. I can actually talk to you.”

“Glad I can be of use.”

She smiled and lifted her head, making out his bright eyes in the dim light.

“When did that happen?” she asked with a soft smile, “When did you become the only one I could talk to?”

“Not quite sure myself,” he murmured with a smile, “But I’m bloody honoured.”

Smiling, she reached up and pressed her hand to his cheek, inhaling sharply as he turned his head and pressed a kiss into her palm.

“I remember what I said, you know,” she whispered, catching his gaze, “That I wouldn’t forget what you did for me. I haven’t. It still means a lot.”

“Wondered if that li’l conversation was going to be forgot.”

She shook her head and smiled sadly.

“Those days gave me a lot of clarity actually. About things like caring about what people think… and about deception. I’m so tired of pretending to be happy and of everyone pretending that everything’s okay and we live this normal life when it’s just a stupid illusion.”

He was silent and she raised her gaze to his sheepishly.

“Sorry, I’m getting all ranty, aren’t I?”

He just smiled and brushed a hair back from her face.

“It’s adorable.”



This was what real friends did, wasn’t it? They listened and let you rant and didn’t care- they still loved you afterwards.

“Buffy? Love?”

She realised she had been staring at Spike and quickly snapped out of her daze and met his concerned gaze.

“I’m fine,” she got out, “I’m… I’m better than fine.”

He raised an eyebrow and she leant in close, brushing her lips over his before catching them in a soft kiss. His arm tightened around her, pulling her against him and she let out a moan against him, pressing herself tightly against him. He deepened their kiss and she clung to him, one hand gripping his arm as she drew him closer, her other hand twisting in his hair. He rolled her onto her back, covering her, and pulled back, watching her with eyes dark with desire.

“I could definitely get used to this,” she murmured, tracing a hand over his shoulder.

“Oh yeah?”

She met his gaze and nodded seriously, willing him silently to believe her.

“Same,” he answered with a boyish smile, dipping his head and kissing her hungrily.