Not So 'Normal Again' by greenhair00

Chapter #1 - One

“Fifteen down, only six more to go...” Buffy found herself spending yet another night searching for the nerd brigade. After her day of invisibility, Buffy decided the trio was annoying enough to warrant some patrol time. Buffy had asked Willow to put together a list of newly rented homes. Buffy knew Warren, Jonathan, and Andrew were trying to stay hidden, but in a place like Sunnydale, the rent-free hide-outs were already taken by hellmouth beasties. Willow came through as always, putting her computer skills to good use, not even mentioning how much time a simple locator spell could save. She’s doing a lot better with the whole cold-turkey thing. Have I told her so lately? Hmmm. Note to self: Willow gets a cookie when I get home. Buffy shook her head, forcing herself to concentrate on the task at hand. She had started her search for the trio with the rentals nearest to her house, and was steadily working her way across town. The next address on the list led her to the bad part of town (not too far from the good part) and into a sparsely lit alley. A couple cars were parked along the curb and the alley’s pothole ridden road was littered with old newspaper and discarded fast food wrappings. The small houses on the alley were in bad shape: many had shingles missing from the roofs, one had a broken window ‘fixed’ with a garbage bag and duct tape, another had the front door off its hinges and propped up against the entryway. Buffy stopped in front of one of the mistreated homes. She looked at her list again, double checking the address. “This is the place,” she confirmed. Buffy approached the side of the house, peering through a dirty window to the interior. The place was completely dark. If those guys are staying here, they’re saving a hell of a lot on their electric bill. Shining her flashlight through the window, Buffy scanned what seemed to be the living room. Nothing special, just some worn-out furniture in need of a feather duster. The place looked as if it had been unoccupied for quite some time, which raised Buffy’s suspicions. Why would someone rent a place and not live in it? Besides the fact that it’s a massive pile of crap. Unknown to Buffy, the renters weren’t interested in the living area. They were there for the basement. “We’ve got trouble!” exclaimed Jonathan, pointing frantically at one of the many monitors providing surveillance of the area surrounding the house. Warren and Andrew rushed over to see the Slayer snooping around the perimeter of their hide-out. “It’s ok fellas,” said Warren. He calmly turned his attention to Andrew before continuing, “It’s time to carry out the next phase of our operation. Andrew, why don’t you ask your new friend to greet the Slayer.” Andrew nodded, attempting an evil smirk. He failed miserably, looking as if he was constipated rather than frightening. Ignoring the strange looks he got from his fellow evil-doers, Andrew reached behind a pile of junk and retrieved a long, wooden tube with mystical symbols burned into the wood. Andrew sat down, leaning the strange instrument on the floor and bringing the other end to his lips. A deep vibration emitted from the device, filling the basement with sound and signaling Buffy’s next challenge to come forth. Buffy had made her way to the front of the home, ready to do a little searching inside. Suddenly, a greyish, waxy demon leaped down, seemingly out of nowhere, blocking Buffy’s entry. Buffy took a step back, “Oh. Hi. You didn’t by chance just eat a couple nerds, did ya?” Buffy’s quip didn’t distract the demon in the least. It lunged toward her at full speed. Buffy retaliated, throwing her fists against its head before it kicked her up against a car parked across from the house. The demon slammed its foot against her abdomen, causing Buffy to double over. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a group of garbage cans just to her left. Still leaning over from the blow to her stomach, Buffy tumbled down and rolled toward the garbage cans. Resourceful as ever, she grabbed the closest can, lifting it over her head and crushing it on the demon’s skull. It stumbled backwards in pain, but quickly recovered and came back for more as Buffy lifted the garbage can up for a repeat strike. This time, the demon blocked her attempt, sending the can crashing to the street, and landing another fierce kick to Buffy’s mid-section. The demon threw a punch at her face, but Buffy ducked, spinning around behind it. Taking advantage of her position, Buffy grabbed the demon and ran its head and shoulders into the car’s driver side window. Unknown to Buffy, at that instant the demon produced a long, sharp stinger from the top of its right hand. Buffy pulled the demon from the shattered window and delivered a swift kick to its face, followed by an attempt at another punch to its jaw. However, the demon managed to counter the blow, grabbing Buffy and twisting her around in its arms until Buffy was trapped with her back against the demon. Seconds later, a struggling Buffy cried out, feeling a sharp pain in her upper arm as the demon sank its stinger deep into her muscle. Buffy felt something cold traveling inside her skin. The alley began spinning and she felt the demon release its grasp. She fell against the car behind her, barely clinging to consciousness. It drugged me! That son of a... Then, all she saw was darkness. A few hours later, Buffy opened her eyes and found herself lying on the street, just a couple feet from the car. I must have blacked out. She stood up and surveyed the area, searching for any sign of her demon attacker. Strange, you’d think he’d want to hang around to kill me... or at least brag a little. Convinced that the demon had split, she began wiping the dirt and road dust from her clothes, and noticed the small puncture through her leather jacket and into her arm. Damn! That’s my second jacket this week! This job is way too hard on my wardrobe. She removed the damaged outerwear and took a closer look at her wound. No big, she thought as she put her jacket back on, turning towards home, I’ll be good as new in the morning.

Chapter #2 - Two

Buffy slowly and reluctantly drifted back into consciousness. Morning already? Buffy thought, not quite ready to face a new day. She kept her eyes sealed tight, but familiarized herself with her surroundings. The bed was soft and warm, which made Buffy even less excited about leaving its comfort. She decided that she deserved a little more rest, and rolled over on her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. That’s when the alarm went off. Buffy flailed her arm off the side of the bed in an attempt to crush the damn thing, but to no avail. Groaning, she opened one eye to get a look at her device of torture, but the alarm clock wasn’t on her night stand. Great, I knocked it on the floor again. Before she could search for the alarm, she heard something else. No, not something. Someone. And that someone was yawning. Now wide awake and confused, Buffy slowly turned her head to the opposite side of the bed. A face was staring back at her. “Mornin’ luv.” In one fluid motion, Buffy leapt from the bed, pulling the fluffy comforter off with her and wrapping it around her body, as if the comforter could render her invisible. Now a safe distance away, an out of breath Buffy gazed upon the man she had shared her bed with. Her fear subsided and was replaced with disgust as she realized she had been bunking with Spike. “Oh God!” exclaimed Buffy, raising a hand to her mouth, “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Spike turned to the night stand next to his side of the bed and turned off the screeching alarm clock. He then turned back to Buffy, furrowed his brow, and scooted from where he laid to the edge of her side of the bed. As he stood up, Buffy noticed he was shirtless, but was thankfully wearing some sort of pajama pants. “I think there’s some Wheat-a-bix in the pantry. Might help calm your stomach. Have a seat, I’ll be back in a bit.” Spike ushered the stunned Slayer back to the bed before disappearing out of the room. Buffy sat there, unsure about what to do. She wanted to bolt out into the sunlight and away from the bleached vampire, but how would she explain Spike’s presence (and lack of shirt) to Dawn? To Willow? What if Xander finds out! But what happened, exactly? The last thing Buffy remembered was collapsing on her bed after a run in with a particularly nasty demon. She didn’t even remember changing clothes, let alone allowing Spike into her room! I am so going to dust him for this. He is gonna... wait a second. Buffy allowed herself to examine the room a bit closer. It was different. Some of her things were missing. Mostly just accessories, but her dresser and desk were gone. In place of these pieces were new ones. Actually, the “new” desk and dresser looked like antiques, made from exquisitely carved dark wood. The dresser was topped with several framed pictures, some of which were familiar to her: the one of her, Dawnie, and their mom; another of the Scoobies taken back in high school; Giles dressed in that ridiculous wizard costume that made him look like “Sorcerer Mickey” on steroids. But, there were a couple photos she didn’t recognize. Buffy walked over to get a better look. “Huh?” Buffy picked up one of the mystery pictures and allowed her jaw to drop. Staring back at her was herself, smiling gleefully in the arms of a equally happy Spike. Buffy couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She abandoned the disturbing picture and reluctantly reached for the next unfamiliar snapshot. This one was worse. “Oh, please, no!” cried Buffy as she turned away from the frame in her hands. Forcing herself to reexamine the picture, Buffy cringed as she saw herself wearing an ankle-length, white wedding dress, complete with an ornate train and lace veil. Photo-Buffy was grinning from ear to ear as a tuxedo-clad Spike was carefully removing the garter belt from Buffy’s thigh. Photoshop, right? Spike has finally mastered computers and created a sick little photo album to torture me! She returned the picture to the dresser, glancing fearfully at its neighbor. Another wedding photo. This one was a group shot. Buffy and Spike were standing in the center, with Buffy’s bride’s maids and Spike’s groom’s men on either side of the happy couple. Dawn was her Maid of Honor, joined by Willow, and Anya. The three girls looked lovely in simple pink gowns. She forced herself to examine the groom’s men next. Giles apparently played the role of Best Man, with Xander standing by his side. It was the third member of the groom’s men that unnerved Buffy. Angel?! There’s no way Angel would let such a wedding take place, let alone serve as a groom’s man to Spike! Buffy slammed the offending wedding picture face down on top of the dresser. Then her eyes fell to her left hand. There, on her ring finger, was a simple gold band. I’m in hell. That’s what this is, I was put in heaven by some glitch in the afterlife system and now I’m being tortured in hell! Buffy turned from the dresser and fell to her knees, sticking her head underneath the bed. She searched the empty floor with her arm, “I’m fed up with this shit! Chip or no chip, I’m gonna kill him! Now, where is Mister Pointy?!” “What are you doing?” The voice coming from the doorway startled Buffy, causing her to slam the her head on the bed above. “Ow.” Buffy rubbed her newly injured head and was surprised to see her younger (but taller) sister standing in the doorway. “Dawn! Oh thank God! Something really weird is going on. Get Willow up and call Giles. Tell him to bring any books that’ll help me remember what happened last night. Oh! And did you show Spike how to use Photoshop? Because if you did I swear to–” “Buffy!” interrupted Dawn, “Slow down, geez. Spike sent me up to tell you he couldn’t find the Wheat-a-bix, but, really, I think he ate the entire box again. Oh, and he’s making you toast instead.” Dawn paused long enough to examine the comforter still surrounding Buffy. “Why are you covered in bedding?” Buffy just stood there, unsure of what to say about Spike’s apparent sleep-over. Dawn rolled her eyes, “Fine, whatever. So you didn’t have time to dress after your night of hot, sweaty sex. All you had to do was say so.” Buffy’s eyes widened in horror. “What?! No, there was no... at least I don’t think there was... no, definitely not! No hot, sweaty anything! Sleeping. Lots and lots of sleeping. Far, far away from each other. On the floor. Sleeping, that is! I was, um, on the floor... sleeping.” “Buffy, my room is on the other side of the wall. Unless he was slamming your face against the headboard, you guys were–” “STOP! Right now. Just, shhh!” Buffy shoved her fingers in her ears, trying to convince herself she was having a nightmare. “What is wrong with you this morning?” asked Dawn, pulling Buffy’s hands away from her ears. “Did you and Spike have a fight? I hate it when you guys fight. Can’t you just skip all that annoying ‘mortal enemy’ banter and go right to the making up part for once? You guys drive me crazy with all the arguing!” “Huh?” Buffy was afraid of what her sister might say next, but she had to know. “Dawn, um, Spike lives here?” Dawn looked as if her sister had grown a second head, “What? Of course he does. It wouldn’t have made much since for the two of you to move in to his crypt after the wedding, now would it?” Buffy’s felt the color drain from her face. “...I guess not.” “You sure you’re ok?” Dawn asked with genuine concern in her voice. “Uh, yeah. I just, I had a rough patrol last night.” Dawn nodded, “Thought so.” She turned to leave the room, but spun around suddenly, adding, “You wanted me to call Giles for something?” Buffy shook her head, “Never mind.”

Chapter #3 - Three

Buffy sat down on the bed, cradling her face with her hands. This can’t be happening. I really need to wake up now! “Feelin’ any better, luv?” Buffy looked up to find Spike standing in the doorway, holding a plate on which two slices of toast sat. “I’m not hungry,” she muttered. “Nonsense,” dismissed Spike as he walked toward her, extending the plate in front of her. “This’ll help quiet that stomach of yours.” Buffy’s eyes traveled between the toast and Spike. She couldn’t help but wonder if he had drugged her somehow last night and had laced this seemingly innocent toast with her next dose. “Eat!” Buffy swallowed nervously, taking the plate out of Spike hand. She lifted one slice to her nose, giving it a sniff. Then she slowly stuck out her tongue, testing the surface of the bread for anything that might taste sinister. Spike raised his scarred eyebrow in confusion, “It’s toast, Buffy.” “I know, it just, um. Smelled good. And, so I wanted to, uh. Check. You know, for uh, toasty goodness.” She took a bite of her breakfast, not completely convinced that it was safe. A wicked grin spread across Spike’s face, “If I had known you were so fond of lickin’ toast I would have made some last night.” Buffy choked. When she recovered she asked, forcefully, “What the hell is that suppose to mean?” Spike’s expression shifted from playful sex kitten to concerned husband. “Did somethin’ happen on patrol last night?” Stalling, Buffy swallowed down a couple bites of toast before answering, “No. The usual. Just fighting.” Not at all convinced, Spike continued, “You sure? Nothin’ out of the ordinary?” “Spike, this is Sunnydale. Everything is out of the ordinary!” Spike smiled at Buffy’s response. He watched her as she placed the last chunk of one slice in her mouth. “True, but there’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me.” Spike sat down next to Buffy, placing his arm around her. Buffy glanced at the pale hand resting on her shoulder, then turned to Spike, who was waiting to meet her eyes with his. His stare was intense. Then again, thought Buffy, everything about Spike is intense. his fighting style, his relentless arguing... his awful hair color. Buffy’s mind drifted to another intense moment they shared together. The kiss. She had tried to push that memory out of her head ever since the night it had happened, blaming the situation on a combination of Sweet’s spell and her overwhelming depression. Still, the feeling of his lips pressing hungrily against hers kept haunting her. His body felt hard against her, but his lips were soft and comforting. She remembered the waves of emotion traveling from head to toe. With one kiss she felt wanted, needed, loved. He did that to her, for her, and she had no feelings for him whatsoever. Well, none other than loathing and disgust. But during that kiss, he was her everything. “You just seem so out of sorts,” Spike said, bringing Buffy out of her thoughts. Buffy felt increasingly uncomfortable with Spike being so close to her, especially after her little trip down memory lane. She shrugged, hoping the sudden movement would knock Spike’s arm free. It didn’t work. A few quiet seconds drifted by. To Buffy’s relief, Spike eventually removed his arm, standing up from the bed to reposition himself to in front of her until they were face-to-face. Smirking, Spike placed his hands on his hips, “Are you plannin’ on fessin’ up, or do I have to get physical?” Buffy didn’t miss the double entendre. “Look, Spike, I... I’m a little fuzzy on the details.” Worry swept across Spike’s features once again, “Just tell me what you can, luv.” Buffy took a deep breath, wondering what to say. Do I tell him the truth? ‘Ok, Spike, here’s what happened. I went to sleep single and woke up married to the un-dead.’ She decided to glaze over that part. “Well, I was out looking for these three, uh... vampires. I followed them out to a nasty neighborhood on the outskirts of town. I thought they might’ve been hiding in this empty house, so I was about to go inside when a demon jumped out at me. We fought for a while and he ended up stabbing me with his pokey thing.” Realizing how that last sentence sounded she added, “From his hand! The poker was sticking out of his hand.” Buffy looked over at her arm, rubbing her fingers over the fading puncture mark. “Then I went, I mean, came home and here I am.” Buffy looked up at Spike, trying to see if he bought her story. He returned her gaze and started to shake his head slowly. “You went after three vampires alone? I thought we talked about this, Buffy. You can’t keep taking chances like that! What would’ve happened if those blokes decided to join your demon friend in a game of stomp the Slayer? You could’ve been killed! What the bleeding hell were you thinkin’?!” “Sorry?” She was relieved that he believed her, but she wasn’t exactly enjoying the scolding Spike was giving her. Spike let out a sigh, dropping his head and running his fingers through his gelled hair. “I worry about you, is all. Out alone like that. You should’ve wait for me. You knew I was on my way home.” He paused, sighing again, then nodded his head towards Buffy’s mostly healed wound. “How’s your arm?” “It’s ok.” Spike took the plate Buffy was still holding out of her hands, taking a bite from the remaining slice of toast. “Any idea what sort of baddie you were dealing with?” Buffy shook her head no. “Well, the Scoobies will be over in a few hours anyway. Might as well put them to work, yeah? As for you, you should jump in the shower right quick before Dawn gets a chance to use all the hot water.” Again, Buffy was confused. The Scoobies? Xander’s still MIA after the whole wedding fiasco, and Anya won’t return our calls, let alone hit the books. That leaves Willow, Dawn, and me, and we live here... so what is Spike talking about? She decided to be as subtle as possible in finding out. Spike had already turned to leave the room when Buffy finally spoke up, “So, Spike. When you say ‘Scoobies’ you are referring to...?” Ok, so subtlety’s not my thing. “Dawn didn’t tell you? Willow got a call while I was downstairs. She said that Xander and Anya were back from their honeymoon and wanted to stop by to pass out souvenirs.” With that, Spike headed out the door. Buffy’s mouth fell agape, “... Oh.”

Chapter #4 - Four

Buffy closed her eyes, allowing the water to wash away her tension. The hot water had started to cool, signaling Buffy that she would soon be forced to leave the confines of the shower. She was only a couple of hours into her day, but it had already become stressful. Fighting demons was hard, but at least it was easy to understand: Kill the demon or it kills you. It was the stress from her everyday life that was making her feel overwhelmed! And I thought sacrificing myself to save the world would be tough. The brochure didn’t mention that I’d be ripped from heaven then deal with my friend having magicks withdrawal, a runaway groom, nerds trying to take over Sunnydale, and now finding my way out of an alternate reality! Dawn’s voice jolted Buffy out of her thoughts. “Buffy! Hurry up, I gotta pee!” Buffy rolled her eyes, turning off the calming stream of water. “Fine, I’m done,” she called to her sister waiting on the other side of the door. Buffy dried off, wrapping the towel around her. She opened the door, watching as Dawn danced around uncomfortably. Amused, Buffy teased, “Working on a new routine?” “Ha ha, very funny,” responded Dawn, pushing herself past Buffy and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Buffy laughed as she heard a faint, “ahhhh...” coming from the bathroom. Then, remembering that Spike was in the house, she hurried over to her bedroom to get dressed. She had just slipped on her top when she heard a knock on her door followed by Willow’s voice, “Buffy?” “Yeah Will, c’mon in.” Buffy sat down on the bed as Willow entered the room. Willow joined her friend, “How are you feeling? Everything ok?” “Yeah, fine... why?” Willow shrugged, saying, “I don’t know. You just looked like something was on your mind earlier.” Buffy didn’t remember seeing Willow this morning. “Earlier?” “Yeah. I told you Xander had called and was on his way over and you just walked to the bathroom like you didn’t even hear me. I just figured something was bothering you,” Buffy’s friend explained. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you.” Buffy decided to take this opportunity to see if Willow saw any problems with Buffy’s current situation. “There is one thing I wanted to talk to you about.” “I’m all ears,” responded Willow, cheerily. “Well, I’m a little confused. I fought this weird demon last night, and I’m having some, uh, memory troubles today.” “You think the demon effected your memory somehow?” responded Willow, eager to help her friend. “Something like that.” “Well, what kinds of things are you having trouble remembering?” Buffy swallowed nervously, “You know, things like ‘Where are my shoes?’, ‘Did I leave the stove on?’, and ‘I got married?’ Nothing major.” Willow blinked a few times, wondering if she heard Buffy correctly. “So, you’re saying you can’t remember getting married or is it that you can’t remember if you’re married?” “Getting,” answered Buffy, examining the puzzled expression on Willow’s face. “Buffy,” Willow said slowly and in a calming tone, as if she were talking to a child, “You are not married.” “What?” It was Buffy’s turn to look confused. “You aren’t married. You’re not even seeing anyone... not that there’s anything wrong with that.” “Then what’s with the wedding pictures?” Buffy jumped up from the bed, rushing over to grab the evidence... except the photos weren’t on the dresser. In fact, the antique dresser wasn’t even there! In its spot sat Buffy’s original dresser. “What the hell is going on?!” Willow noticed the Buffy’s frantic mood and hurried over to Buffy’s side. “We’ll find out, don’t worry.” The doorbell rang, causing the girls to divert their attention momentarily. “I’ll get it!” yelled Dawn, as she rushed out of the bathroom and down the stairs. Willow turned back to her emotional wreck of a friend, “That must be Xander. You said something about fighting a demon last night? Why don’t you come downstairs and we’ll figure it out Scooby style, ok?” Buffy nodded and allowed Willow to lead her out of the room. ----- “Xander!” exclaimed Dawn as she wrapped her arms around him, “We missed you so much! Are you ok?” Xander managed a weak smile, returning Dawn’s hug, “Yeah, I’m ok.” He looked up as Willow and Buffy came downstairs to greet him, “Hey guys. Have you heard anything from Anya? I went by her place, but she wasn’t there.” Willow shook her head, “No. I think she just need some time to sort things out.” Xander nodded sadly, then noticed the blank stare coming from Buffy. “Hey, Buff.” Buffy jolted back to attention, “Huh? Oh, sorry. Hi.” Xander, Willow, and Dawn exchanged worried looks. Willow spoke up first, “Something’s up, demon-wise. Let’s head over to the living room and talk things out.” Buffy pulled a chair over so she could talk to her friends, who were seated on the couch, face-to-face. She began by telling the group about waking up in her room, which had mysteriously changed overnight. She decided not to mention that Spike was sleeping next to her. She still didn’t want to believe it, and she was sure her friends wouldn’t either. However, she didn’t see how she could avoid telling them about the pictures or the wedding band that had appeared on her finger. Buffy took a deep breath, “The freaky part is, in where-ever-I-was, I was married. Complete with a ring and corny pictures.” “Wow, Buffy, that’s... great?” joked Xander, “ I mean, should I be happy for you or totally freaked out?” “Definitely freaked out, considering who ‘he’ is...” “...So who is he?” asked Dawn. Buffy sat there for a moment, trying to work up enough courage to continue. “C’mon Buffy, who’s the lucky man?” Xander prodded. “Ok, ok. But if you tell him I swear to God you will never use your tongues ever again!” Xander and Willow nodded in agreement while Dawn just rolled her eyes. “Spike.” The room fell silent. Buffy swallowed hard, not sure how long her audience needed to recover from the disturbing announcement. She decided to continue before they had a chance to ask her about her ‘husband’. “Anyway, a lot was still the same. Willow, you and Dawn were here, and we still all lived together. It just seemed so real. I thought I had time traveled or something, until Spike mentioned that Xander and Anya had returned from their honeymoon. Then I took a shower and somehow I was back here.” Xander’s eyes had widened upon hearing the word ‘honeymoon’, leading Willow to rub slow, comforting circles on his back as she said to Buffy, “Tell us about the demon.” Dawn looked from Willow to Buffy, obviously troubled. “What demon?” Buffy’s mood turned somber as she recalled losing the fight. “Last night I went out looking for Warren and his friends and some kinda gross, waxy, demon thing poked me.” Xander needed some clarification, “And when you say poke...” “In the arm!” Buffy stated defensively, “It stung me or something.” “Well there you go!” exclaimed Willow, startling everyone with her upbeat tone of voice, “It must have injected you with something, some toxin to make you hallucinate. We can fix this.” Willow stood up from the couch, “All in favor of research?” She raised her hand and waited as Xander and Dawn did the same, “Motion passed!” The couch emptied as Willow added, “Don’t worry, Buffy, it’ll be ok.” “I hope so,” she muttered, watching as the others hurried upstairs to hit the books.

Chapter #5 - Five

Buffy had stayed downstairs while the others spent hours flipping through page after page of various demon guides. She knew she should help her friends, but she was too preoccupied. She kept wondering how alternate-Buffy could bring herself to share her life with Spike. He’s evil and annoying and... and he smokes! But those pictures. I looked so happy. WE looked happy. Buffy shuttered, scolding herself for envying that hallucination of a marriage. Buffy had spent her day staring out the living room window. A car would pass by every so often, carting normal people to normal destinations. Buffy followed the latest vehicle as far as the confines of the window frame would let her. A soccer mom with a minivan full of kids sped down the road. I bet she’s never had to clean demon blood off those uniforms. A few minutes later a man dressed in a business suit was at the wheel of his BMW, mouthing the words to whatever song was playing on the radio. That guy would probably shit himself if he ever came face-to-face with a vampire. Her attention turned to the sky, which had taken on shades of orange and red as the sun crept toward the horizon. Sunsets just didn’t seem the same since she became a Slayer. Before she was given the “gift” of her powers, sunsets were almost magical. She used to sit on the beach and watch in awe as the glowing sun seemed to drift down until it was extinguished by the ocean. These days, however, sunset meant it was time once again to do battle against the forces of evil. Save the innocent, stop the wrongdoers, prevent apocalypse after apocalypse. Why bother? The world always manages to get in trouble again. I have to try, she reminded herself, I’m the Slayer. Still, she longed to be like one of the people passing by her window, to feel the way she did before slaying, to have a normal life. Her eyes were just beginning to fill with tears when Willow came rushing into the living room, “Buffy! I think we found your demon.” She handed Buffy a sheet of paper. Centered at the top of the page in bold was ‘Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik.’ Underneath its name was a sketch of the creature, which Buffy immediately recognized. “Yeah. That’s it.” A smile swept over Willow’s face, “See? It’s gonna be ok. Its pokey stinger carries an antidote to its own poison.” Buffy turned her attention back to the world outside, “I’m not sure if I can find it again. I mean, I didn’t find it in the first place. It found me.” “Don’t worry. Xander is working on it and Dawn’s on her way out to get some supplies I’ll need,” Willow reassured her friend. She was about to suggest asking Spike for help, when the women heard the back door slam shut. Buffy and Willow exchanged knowing glances as Buffy muttered, “Great. Exactly who I don’t want to see right now.” Dressed in his usual black attire, complete with leather duster, Spike sauntered into the living room. “Hey Slayer,” he said, “Got a nest you might fancy checkin’ out.” Buffy stayed silent, allowing Willow to speak up for her, “Now’s not a good time, Spike.” Spike leaned his head to the side, narrowing his eyes upon seeing the distant expression on Buffy’s face, “What’s wrong?” Buffy just shook her head in reply. Curious and worried, Spike looked to the redhead for some sort of explanation. “Why don’t you go upstairs,” Willow said, “Xander can fill you in on the details.” Spike hesitated. He wanted to know what was bothering the Slayer. Buffy lifted her eyes to meet Spike’s. He could see the hurt she was concealing from him. Spike broke away from her gaze and turned towards the stairs, deciding that he didn’t need to know what was causing her pain in order to stop it. When he was safely out of sight, Willow turned back to Buffy, “You should get some rest. Xander and Spike can take care of the demon.” Buffy sighed, “I’m afraid to try. What happens when I wake up? What I’m there again?” “Well, you said we were all there with you, right?” asked Willow. “You could always tell us, the other ‘us’, what was going on. I’m sure other me would at least be willing to listen.” Buffy gave her friend a small smile, “Can’t hurt to try, I guess.” After a little more convincing by Willow, Buffy gave in and headed up to her room. She looked around, assuring herself that she was in the correct reality. She walked over to her window, glancing down at the row of stuffed animals gathered underneath it. She stooped down and picked up Mr. Gordo. Holding the stuffed pig close to her, she crawled under the covers and into her bed. For a long while she just laid there, Mr. Gordo in her arms, fearing what would happen if she slept. When she finally did start to fall asleep, she would force herself awake and switch on the lamp next to her bed to verify she was still alone. Spike was standing in the hallway, on his way outside for a smoke, when he saw light escaping from underneath Buffy’s door. Xander told Spike that Buffy was having delusions brought on by some demon’s poison. But, remembering Buffy’s threat, Xander neglected to share the details of those delusions with the vampire. Spike knew there was more to the story than the boy was letting on, so he decided to pay a visit to the troubled Slayer. Buffy was preparing to switch the lamp off once again when she heard a soft knocking at the door. “Come in,” Buffy said. The door cracked open just enough for Spike’s head to fit through. “You’d think a Slayer would be more careful about invitin’ a person in her room,” teased Spike. Buffy rolled her eyes, “You’re not a person.” Entering the room and closing the door behind him, Spike lifted his hand to cover his heart, saying as sarcastically as possible, “Ouch. That hurts, pet.” “What do you want, Spike?” Seeing the lack of amusement on Buffy’s face, his tone turned serious, “Heard you were seeing things. Thought you might want to talk about it.” Buffy’s eyes grew wide, “Who told you?!” “Xander. Said some ugly bugger took a poke at you,” Spike smirked at his remark, reveling in the deep blush that was spread across Buffy’s cheeks. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, Spike did not know...nor did he care. Trying to ignore his latest sexual reference, Buffy asked, “What else did Xander say?” “Not a thing, luv.” With those words, Buffy let out the breath she had been holding. Spike noticed the relief on Buffy’s face, “There’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me.” Buffy saw the concern in Spike’s eyes as a feeling of deja-vu swept over her. That’s exactly what the other Spike said. Reluctantly, Buffy sat up in bed, Mr. Gordo in tow, “You’re right. I just don’t see any reason to waste my breath.” Spike wandered closer, “So what, you suddenly can’t share with ol’ Spike? Never stopped you before.” “What are you talking about?” asked Buffy, annoyed. “Come off it, Slayer. Quick to forget who you came to with your ‘I was in heaven’ secret, aren’t you?” He sat down next to her. Buffy shook her head, “That doesn’t count. I needed to talk to someone and you just happened to be lurking outside.” Spike arched his scarred eyebrow, mischief gleaming in his eyes, “Yeah, well, I don’t recall you lockin’ lips with Xander.” “Shhh!” Buffy used her unnatural speed to slap her hand over Spike’s mouth, preventing any further discussion of the kiss. “God Spike! I told you what would happen if you brought that up again!” Spike reached up and took Buffy’s hand away his mouth, “Yeah, yeah. You’ll stake me right and proper. Find a new tune, pet. That one’s gettin’ old.” Then, lowering his head, Spike added, “I just thought it might help. Gettin’ things out in the open and all.” “Trust me, it won’t.” Spike shrugged, silently excusing himself from the room. Just before closing the door behind him, he turned back, “If you change you mind...” Buffy nodded, cuddling Mr. Gordo as Spike disappeared from her view. She was exhausted, and finally drifted off in a dreamless slumber. Spike leaned his back against Buffy’s closed door, listening until he heard the slow and even breathing of the sleeping Slayer. I’m here for you, Buffy, he thought, I’ll always be here.

Chapter #6 - Six

Buffy clenched her eyes shut as sunlight filtered through her curtains and warmed her face. She wasn’t ready to face a new day, especially if it started in some hallucinated reality. Buffy reluctantly opened her eyes and found herself gazing at the unoccupied spot on the bed next to her. She let out a sigh of relief. Thank God! Buffy smiled as she imagined a miniature celebration taking place in her head. Tiny Buffys were gathered around a huge cake, cheering and hugging as multi-colored bits of confetti rained down from above. Tearing herself away from the much more pleasant Buffy Land, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Buffy stretched her body, allowing her tense muscles to relax. She listened as a couple birds sang just outside her window. She walked towards it, feeling happier than she had felt for a long time. Genuinely happy. That is, until she saw Mr. Gordo. Buffy’s eyes traveled between the bed and the stuffed pig, absolutely positive that she was holding it when she fell asleep. But, there it sat, in its rightful spot under the window. It was as if she had not touched the toy at all. Buffy picked up the pig, lifting it up to eye level. Her eyes narrowed angrily as she stared at its stitched grin, seemingly mocking her feelings of dread. Buffy lost control. In her rage over the situation, Buffy ripped away the soft, pink fabic of Mr. Gordo’s body, throwing pig’s fluffy insides wildly around the room. “Buffy? Buffy stop!” She felt his arms wrap around her from behind, trying to slow her frantic ripping. “Let me go! Don’t touch me!” she screamed, trying to escape Spike’s grasp. Her Slayer strength seemed to fail her in her distressed state, and Spike turned her around in his arms, pulling her against him. “It’s ok, luv,” Spike soothed, “Let it out.” With that Buffy burst into tears, sobbing fiercely into his chest. “I’m here,” he whispered against her, “I’ll always be here.” ----- Buffy’s screams filtered easily through the wall between their rooms, startling Dawn. She quickly abandoned the journal entry she was writing and rushed toward Buffy’s room. She stood just outside the door and watched as Spike held a crying Buffy in his arms, trying to bring her out of whatever it was that had caused her fit of rage. Not knowing if her presence would help or hinder, Dawn decided to wait it out in the hall. She must have stood beside her sister’s doorway for an hour or so, listening as Buffy’s cries eventually died down. She heard Spike say something unintelligible to Buffy, followed by his footsteps drawing near. As soon as he stepped out of the room, Dawn was ready for some answers. “How is she?” asked Dawn, concern filling her voice. “Better, but not good. Any idea what’s goin’ on with her?” “No,” Dawn confessed, “I was hoping you could tell me.” “No clue, Nibblet... Although she was actin’ strange yesterday.” “Yeah, I noticed that, too.” Spike turned his attention back to Buffy, peering in the room to send a worried glance her way, “Might have somethin’ to do with the run-in she had the other night.” He turned back to Dawn, “Go tell Red to get her books ready, and give the newlyweds a call. We’ve got some work to do.” Spike reentered the bedroom, walking over to sit on the bed. Buffy was laying with her back to him, her face pressed down against one of the soft pillows. After a few quiet moments, Spike reached over to Buffy and began to gently stroke her hair. “Spike?” Buffy’s voice sounded as weak as she felt. “Yes, pet?” “I don’t belong here.” “What? Of course you do.” His voice was comforting and reassuring, but Buffy knew better. “You don’t understand.” “Help me to understand,” replied Spike, desperately. “I want to help you, Buffy. But I can’t unless you talk to me.” Buffy’s eyes were stinging once again as she tried to hold back a fresh flow of tears. She knew he was right, the only way she could find her was out of this reality was to talk about it and get help. But not from him. “Where’s Willow?” She didn’t see Spike drop his head in defeat as he realized his wife did not want him by her side. He tried to hide the heartache in his voice as he answered Buffy, but he was unsuccessful. “Not sure. Downstairs I’d wager.” He left his position on the bed, moving towards the open door, “I’ll get her for you.” Just before he left the room, he stopped in his tracks. Without turning around, he whispered to her, then continued on his journey to locate Willow. Buffy clenched her eyelids shut as the tears worked their way out, dropping onto the pillow. Spike’s soft words echoed in her ears, “I love you, Buffy.” ----- Reaching the base of the stairs, Spike could see that Xander and Anya were already in the living room, joined by Willow and a pacing Dawn. They were sitting there, looking from one face to another, each friend waiting for the other to speak first. However, all eyes turned to Spike when he entered the living area. He gave an acknowledging nod Xander and Anya, before directing his attention to Willow. The group watched somberly as Willow stood up, knowing she was needed. As she walked by, Willow patted her hand against Spike’s shoulder, then continued on her way to see Buffy. Spike took the seat next to Anya that Willow previously occupied. He leaned his head into his hand, rubbing at his temple. Seeing Spike obviously distressed, Anya spoke up, “I’m sure Buffy is not insane.” Spike chose to ignore the comment. “Anya!” warned Xander. “What?” Anya retorted, “I said not!” Meanwhile, Willow had stopped just outside the threshold of Buffy’s room. “Can I come in?” Buffy had not moved from her previous position, but upon hearing her friend’s voice, she sat up in bed nodding her head in agreement. When Willow sat down beside her, Buffy took Willow’s hands in hers, “I’m going to tell you something, and you’re gonna think I’m nuts, but I need you to believe me. Please, please try!” The desperation in Buffy’s voice scared the redhead, “You know you can tell me anything.” Buffy closed her eyes and sighed upon hearing Willow’s words, “I hope so.” Choosing her words carefully, Buffy explained the situation. She decided it would be best to be as up-front and direct as possible. She started by telling Willow that a demon’s poison had caused hallucinations that seemed so real, she couldn’t tell whether she was having one or not. She told her friend about the reality she held to be real: Spike had no chance of being her husband, Xander had left Anya at the alter, and that she was instructed by real Willow to turn to imaginary Willow for help. As expected, Willow was having trouble digesting this information, “So... am I real Willow or fake Willow?” Buffy bowed her head as she answered quietly, “You’re the hallucination.” “But how can I be? I mean,” Willow patted her hands here-and-there along her body, as if to verify she was solid, “I feel real.” “I know, that’s what I’m saying,” said Buffy, “This reality seems to real to me, too.” Willow’s worry doubled, “That’s because this is real.” “No! No, you’re not listening to me!” exclaimed a very frustrated Buffy. “I am, Buffy! And I know that you need my help.” Buffy agreed. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” Willow said, wearing her resolved face, “I’m gonna go downstairs and tell everyone about this demon guy and his poisoned poker. If there’s an antidote like you say, we’ll fix one up for you. It should stop the hallucinations, no matter which reality is the fake one. How’s that sound?” Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes, smiling as she said, “Thanks, Will. Seems like I can count on you no matter what reality I’m in.”

Chapter #7 - Seven

When Willow reentered the living room, Xander and Anya were gone. Dawn had taken a seat next to Spike, who was staring out into space, lost in thought. Dawn was finding comfort by leaning her head against Spike’s shoulder. “Where are Xander and Anya?” asked the redhead. Without so much as a blink, Spike answered, “Doughnuts.” Dawn pulled away from Spike’s shoulder, giving Willow a little more information than Spike volunteered, “Xander said something about every morning Scooby session needing ‘sugary goodness’... But really, I think he was afraid Anya would open her mouth again.” “That was probably a good idea,” confessed Willow. She turned her attention to Spike, now just as worried about him as she was about Buffy. She looked at Dawn who shared her concern. “Spike?” “What.” “Um, well, nothing. You just seem... uh, kinda out of it. Are you feeling ok?” For a moment, Spike didn’t react to Willow’s question. Finally, Spike stood up, walking to within inches of Willow’s face, “My wife doesn’t trust me. How the bloody hell do you think I feel?!” Then he pushed past her, heading into the kitchen. Willow stood there, not knowing if she should go after him or leave him to feel sorry for himself. Dawn saw Willow’s hesitation and made the decision for her. She jumped off the couch and followed her brother-in-law to the kitchen. Spike was up to his elbows in a sink full of dishwater, scrubbing violently at an unsuspecting baking dish. “You didn’t have to be such an ass,” chastised Dawn. “Don’t think big sis would appreciate the language, Nibblet,” muttered Spike. Dawn ignored his remark, “Willow’s just worried about you.” “I’m alright.” “Obviously,” Dawn scoffed. Spike abandoned the baking dish, turning to confront the youngest Summers. “Your sister is sittin’ up in that room goin’ through God knows what and I can’t do anything about it!” “Have you tried talking to her?” Calming slightly, Spike answered, “Yeah. She asked for Willow.” “So you’re giving up? When did you stop fighting for what you wanted?” Dawn waited for a response from Spike, but he just lowered his head and turned back to the dishes. Annoyed, Dawn grabbed a mug from the cabinet, filled it with water, and placed it in the microwave. When the timer beeped, she plopped a tea bag in the mug and turned back to Spike. “I’m going up there to talk to my sister. You can join us when you decide to grow a pair.” Spike was taken aback by Dawn’s latest comment, especially since he knew she was right. Still, his pride was hurt, so he continued scrubbing away. ----- Buffy was sitting in bed, her back against the wall. She was lost in thought, wondering how a delusion could be so real. She didn’t notice Dawn standing in the doorway. “I made you some tea.” She crossed the room to her sister’s side. Still staring at some seemingly interesting spot on the wall, Buffy whispered, “Thanks.” Noticing that this wasn’t just a delivery mission, Buffy added, “I’m ok, Dawn.” “The, uh, thousand yard stare really helped sell that.” Buffy forced herself back to reality (or was it un-reality?) and put on the most reassuring smile she could muster, “Really, Dawnie. I just need some time to think.” “I understand,” Dawn stood up, “But you should talk to Spike. He’s pretty freaked.” “He is?” “Yeah. He’s acting like he’s losing you or something. Whatever it is that you need to think about, you should share it with Spike,” explained Dawn. Buffy shook her head, “He won’t like it.” “Like you’ve never said something to him that he didn’t want to hear,” reasoned Dawn. Buffy’s smile turned genuine, “When did you get so smart?” Dawn shrugged, “I dunno. Although I have been eating a lot of fish lately. Brain food you know. So are you going after him or not?” Buffy threw he legs over the side of the bed, ready to face the bleached bad boy who loved her. “Where is he?” she asked. “Washing dishes if you can believe it,” Dawn replied, linking arms with her sister as they headed downstairs. ----- Dawn had abandoned her sister, using some excuse about watering the lawn. She had grabbed Willow by the arm, practically dragging her away from her research and out the door, leaving Buffy and Spike alone in the house. Buffy was pacing in the foyer, her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to rehearse what she was going to tell him. ‘Ok, so Spike. Here’s the thing. I’m fairly certain that this whole marriage thing is a hallucination.’ That’s no good. ‘Spike, I don’t love you, I hate your guts.’ Damn, even worse. There’s gotta be a greeting card somewhere that can say this for me! Buffy had given up on the rehearsal, deciding she might as well wing it. She peeked her head into the kitchen, secretly hoping Spike was not in there so she could put off the talk a little longer. No such luck. Spike was still standing over the sink, but this time with a towel in hand, drying a dinner plate. Buffy took a quick look around the kitchen, checking to see if anything was different from what it was supposed to look like. Everything seemed to be in its rightful place, right down to the curtains that her mom had been so fond of. She remembered the day her mom had hung them up, “There,” she had said, “Aren’t they perfect in here? And they look so pretty when the sunlight streams though them, don’t they?” Buffy smiled at the memory... until she noticed something else. “No WAY!” Buffy’s exclamation startled Spike, causing him to drop the plate he was holding. “Buffy?” asked Spike, too troubled to acknowledge the shards of glass spread across the kitchen floor. “You’re... I mean, you can’t be...” Buffy was slack-jawed, looking at Spike as if she had never seen him before. “What? What is it?” Spike said, rushing over to his wife. “You should be on fire!” Spike had been standing in front of the window, directly in the path of the sun’s entering rays. Spike’s brow furrowed, “What are you talkin’ about, pet?” “My God... you are... you’re human.” With that, Buffy’s vision went blurry and she collapsed on the floor.

Chapter #8 - Eight

“Buffy! Buffy, can you here me?” Buffy’s eyes fluttered open. She was sprawled out on her kitchen floor, her head resting on Spike’s lap. Seeing that Buffy was finally coming around, Spike sighed with relief, “You alright, luv?” Buffy, still a bit dazed, answered, “Yeah... what happened?” “I think you fainted,” Spike explained as he gently stroked Buffy’s hair. “I did?” With a little help from Spike, she got back on her feet. The glow of the sun through the kitchen window warmed her face... and reminded her of why she fainted in the first place. “You’re human!” “I did notice that, yeah,” Spike looked worried again. “How? When?” Buffy’s heart was racing so fast that she could hear her blood pulsing in her ears. She was too stunned to realize that she had yet to tell Spike about her reality switching. “You know this, pet,” started Spike, speaking slowly and evenly, “Try and remember.” “What?” Then it dawned on her that he still had no idea what was going on. “Oh, right. I’m not having memory problems.” Spike arched his eyebrow, thoroughly unconvinced. “Really,” assured Buffy, “I’m having delusions.” She paused as if that explained everything. Seeing that Spike was not satisfied with this answer, she continued, “I keep switching back and forth between realities. Or between reality and hallucination. It’s confusing.” Buffy could see the pain hiding in Spike’s eyes as he uttered, “Earlier, you said you didn’t belong here. You think this is the delusion, don’t you?” “I don’t know, exactly. I mean, both seem so real...” Buffy wasn’t lying. She was having more and more trouble distinguishing which reality was, well, reality. But, she was fairly certain that she was hallucinating this entire conversation. Spike sat on a bar stool, leaning his elbows on the kitchen island. He rubbed his hands over his face and up through his hair, then turned his attention back to Buffy. “It’s times like this that I hate you for makin’ me quit smokin’,” he joked. Buffy smiled, “I guess they really could kill you now, huh?” Turning serious again, Spike motioned toward the stool next to him, “Have a seat, luv. Seems I’ve got some explaining of my own to do.” Once she was settled in, Spike wetted his lips, “In the other reality, you died, yeah?” “Which time?” joked Buffy. Caught off guard, Spike laughed before answering, “Last year. You did a swan dive of a tower to save little sis.” Buffy nodded, “Yeah. I had to.” “Right then. Well, I took it kind of hard. I wanted you back,” he paused when Buffy diverted her gaze, obviously uncomfortable when hearing about his feelings for her. “So, I went to Red, thinkin’ she could work a spell. She tried her best, but, it didn’t work.” Buffy perked up, “It didn’t?” “No. But, we did find out where you were,” he answered. “And you still pulled me out?” Buffy asked, angrily. “Of course!” defended Spike, “ I couldn’t go on knowin’ you were stuck in that hell dimension!” Buffy’s anger was replaced with awe, “Oh... um, thanks.” “I heard about this Shaman in Uganda,” he said, “Word on the street was that this bloke could restore souls. So, I paid him a visit. I told him what I wanted, and he said he could do it, as long as I was willin’ to pay the price. He said bringin’ back the dead was tough, that an exchange would have to be made.” “Exchange?” questioned Buffy. Spike nodded, “He’d give your life back in exchange for my immortality.” Spike lowered his voice, trying without much luck to sound like the Shaman, “In doing so, you will surely die.” He looked over at Buffy as her eyes grew wider. “I told him to do it. Because I loved you.” Buffy felt light-headed again. “So, you must have gone through with it, seeing as I’m here. But shouldn’t you be... uh...” “Dust in the wind?” Spike interjected. Buffy agreed, listening as he continued. “I thought so too, but apparently ‘you will surely die’ didn’t mean right away. I’m thinkin’ it might take another fifty years or so.” “Wow,” started Buffy. Her mind was still trying to process that Spike was human, now she had to add giving up his un-life for her. “No wonder I married you,” she joked. Spike shrugged, joking back, “Hard to say no to a guy after all that, isn’t it?” Staring into his eyes, Buffy had to agree. He really does love me. She reached out and placed her hand on Spike’s cheek, “I’m sorry for putting you through all this hallucination stuff. I know it’s got to be hard on you.” Spike tucked a loose strand of hair behind Buffy’s ear, smirking as he said, “No need for apologies. You’re worth the trouble.” Normally that smirk of his meant he was up to something, which made Buffy uncomfortable. This time, however, Buffy found it endearing. They gazed into each other’s eyes as if they were old lovers seeing each other for the first time in years. He leaned his face close to Buffy’s, so close that she could feel the heat escaping from Spike’s mouth. Buffy knew the kiss was coming, and she had plenty of time to pull away. But she didn’t. Instead, she allowed her eyes to fall shut, her lips tingling with anticipation. A moan escaped her when she felt his lips gently pressing against hers. His kiss was soft and slow, not at all like the one she had tried so hard to forget. Still, this gentle kiss had the same effect on her. Those same feelings and desires she experienced with him before traveled like shock waves through her entire body. Their kiss deepened as she allowed Spike to bring her to her feet. She felt his hands on her back and allowed him to pull her close, until their bodies were flush against one another. Buffy moaned again when she felt Spike’s tongue caress her now swollen lips. She parted her lips to permit his entry, desperate to taste him. God he tastes amazing... except for the cigarette breath. Lips still locked, Buffy’s eyes flew open as she remembered Spike’s words only a few moments earlier, It’s times like this that I hate you for makin’ me quit smokin’. She pulled her face away from Spike’s, their bodies still pressed together. “What the fuck are you doing?!” she exclaimed, staring into the face of a very satisfied Spike. “Ay! You kissed me!” defended Spike. “What?! No! Not possible! I would NEVER touch you, Spike!” she yelled back, pushing him off of her and onto the floor, “EVER!” “He’s r-r-right you know,” said a voice coming from the entryway to the kitchen. Buffy’s face turned pale and she willed herself to face the owner of the voice. Buffy stood there, not knowing how to explain what had happened. She decided it was best if she didn’t even try, “...Oops.”

Chapter #9 - Nine

“You could at least help me up, pet.” Spike was still on the kitchen floor, using his elbows to prop himself up. Buffy ignored him, choosing instead to focus on her visitor. “So Tara,” she said, “not that I’m not happy to see you, but uh, what are you doing here?” “Dawnie called me. She said W-Willow needed me to help make an antidote for you,” Tara answered. Tara’s eyes shifted from Buffy to Spike and back again, “Looks like you’re feeling better.” Buffy’s cheeks reddened as she said, sheepishly, “It’s not what it looks like.” Tara saw Buffy’s discomfort and hurried to her side, “It’s ok. People do strange things when they’re under stress.” Buffy nodded. “Right. Yeah, that’s what happened,” she said, trying to convince herself as well as her friend. It wasn’t working. We kissed because he made me feel bad for not being the Buffy he married, for not loving him... Spike finally stood up, readjusting his duster. Buffy’s thoughts were disrupted when she saw him approaching. “Next time you need some stress relief, Slayer,” he said, winking as he added, “let me know.” “You’re a pig, Spike,” Buffy stated with narrowed eyes. “And you’re a tease,” smirked the vampire. He loved the way she looked when she was angry, her eyes glistening with power and intensity as if she were about to strike at any minute. Since her return to the realm of the living, Spike had noticed that she wasn’t showing much of any sort of emotion. Spike vowed to do whatever he could to pull his Slayer out of this depression, even if it meant risking a stake through the heart. I must admit, he thought, running his tongue along his bottom lip, kissing Buffy definitely beats arguing with her. Buffy rolled her eyes after Spike’s little remark. Why does he always have to be so gross? However, she forgot her disgust upon seeing Spike’s tongue trace the outline of his mouth, And why does he have to look so hot when he’s doing it? No! Bad Buffy! Kissing Spike is not of the good! She shook her head, trying to throw the memory of their latest kiss out of her head. Then she realized that this kiss had a witness. Fear flooded her mind as she whipped her head over to face Tara once more, “Please, Tara, you can’t tell the others!” “Ok Buffy,” agreed Tara, “but I’m sure they would understand.” Spike spoke up again, “Yeah, pet. Go tell your little Scoobies about us.” “Never,” replied Buffy, growing angry again. “No? Alright, I’ll save you the trouble.” Spike turned to exit the kitchen, taking only a couple steps before his face and chest were fiercely slammed up against the wall. “Ay! Watch it!” Buffy had his arm twisted around behind his back, making the muscles in his shoulder burn with pain. “If you say one word about it I will rip off your arms and shove them down your throat!” she threatened. “Well that wouldn’t be very nice,” joked Spike. Buffy didn’t think it was nearly as amusing, adding more pressure to Spike’s arm. Spike groaned in pain once more, signaling Tara to step in. “Buffy,” she said, “I think he’s got the idea.” “You think? I’m not so sure. He might need some more convincing.” “Get your sodding hands off me!” Spike yelled out. Buffy complied, pushing off against Spike’s back to add a little more distance between them. Spike lifted his arm, rotating it as if to ensure there was no damage done. “Say Glinda, when you get this potion put together, think you could throw in a thing or two to get a this bird a new personality? I don’t much care for this one.” Buffy stepped forward again, her fist at the ready, but Tara stopped her. “Buffy, I need some details from you, about your hallucinations? It’s for the spell to activate the antidote.” Buffy took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “Yeah, ok,” she said, then pointed toward Spike, “But he has to go.” Spike lifted his hands as if to give up, “You win, pet. I’m goin’.” Spike stepped out of the kitchen, but as soon as he passed out of view around the corner, he stopped. If she won’t tell me what’s happenin’ to her, I’ll find out for myself. Thinking Spike was long gone, Buffy began to explain her supposed delusion to Tara. “It seems so real,” Buffy explained, “I’m starting to think that I belong there.” Tara reached out and rubbed Buffy’s arm reassuringly, “You’ll get through this.” Buffy wasn’t completely persuaded, “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to explain this? It’s really starting to get on my nerves!” “Just take your time,” soothed Tara. Buffy went through the demon attack and finding out about Mr. and Mrs. Harris, but saved the most troublesome part for last. “You’re gonna find this hard to believe,” she told Tara, “I mean, I’m still having trouble with it.” “Go on,” prompted the witch. “In the ‘other’ here, I’m married... to Spike.” Tara didn’t react as surprised as the others, most likely because she had seen the steamy kiss the ‘couple’ had shared. Buffy did not, however, see Spike’s reaction to that tidbit of information. Spike was utterly astonished. Well, bugger me backwards! Slayer’s got me shackin’ up with her in that little delusion of a world! So that kiss WAS meant for me... Spike was not about to abandon his position, determined to find out more about this hitched version of himself. “And that’s not even the weirdest part,” continued Buffy, “Spike is human there!” Well isn’t that neat. “He gave up his un-life to pull me from hell. He could have died! That Spike is sweet and caring and... and,” Buffy’s frantic sounding voice calmed as she came to a realization, “and I really like that Spike.” Spike couldn’t believe his ears! Buffy was in there singing his praises... but it’s not me she cares for, it’s him. Buffy and Tara had moved on to discuss the ingredients of the antidote, but Spike was no longer listening. He was too busy formulating a plan to win his Slayer over. “Lurk much?” Spike jumped, looking like a five year old caught with his hand in the cookie jar, “Oh! Hey there, Nibblet.” “What are you doing?” asked Dawn. “I was...” Spike paused, searching around the room for some way out of his predicament. “Well?” Dawn pushed, impatiently. Spike’s eyes landed on the television, “Thought you might want to join me in front of the telly. ‘Passions’ should be on soon.” “Uh, no thanks,” responded Dawn, leaving Spike’s side and heading upstairs. “Right then. Some other time,” he called after her. Once she was safely upstairs, Spike leaned the back of his head against the wall, shut his eyes, and let out a sigh of relief. That was close. However, when his eyes reopened, he was face-to-face with a very perturbed Buffy. Brilliant, bloody brilliant.

Chapter #10 - Ten

“Spike! What did you hear?!” Buffy’s voice was abnormally shrill and she was fuming! Tara had said something about Tagus Root and headed out the back door for a trip to the Magic Box, leaving Buffy to catch the eavesdropper in the act. Spike did his best to look as calm and cocky as ever, but a little nervousness still managed to creep through. “Nothin’, really. Just that I’m human and married to you and you want my hot body.” Buffy’s eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of her head! “C’mon, Slayer. We both know you’re archin’ for it!” he smirked, pleased with his latest vulgarity. “Someone just shoot me now...” she muttered, leaning against the wall as she slid to the floor. Spike suddenly regretted his words as he watched her pull her knees to her chest, a blank expression on her face. “Wouldn’t help, pet,” Spike said softly, “Someone would just bring you back again.” Buffy returned her gaze to Spike, “Stop trying to be funny.” Not knowing what else to do, Spike sat down on the floor next to Buffy. Her brow scrunched as she watched the vampire, wondering what he was expecting to happen. Apparently it was nothing. He just sat there next to her, staring off into space. It was oddly comforting. She actually felt relaxed. Well, as relaxed as one could be under the ever so confusing conditions. Still staring out at nothing, Spike finally spoke up, “You like him, yeah?” “Who?” asked Buffy, knowing exactly who he was referring to. “Me,” he half whispered, followed by a clarifying, “The other me.” Buffy sighed deeply. If I admit that I do like the other Spike, he’ll turn it around to say that I want him or something. Buffy opened her mouth to reply to his question with a resounding ‘no’, but changed her mind. If I say no, he’ll know I’m lying. I can never fool him for some reason... damn vampire senses. Her feeling of tranquillity was fading away, replaced increasingly by agitation. Spike watched as Buffy’s face seemed to play out the ‘check yes or no’ dilemma going on in her mind. Knowing that his smart-ass comments were to blame, Spike decided to continue without her answer. “I’m a – I mean – He’s a good man, then?” Buffy glanced at the vampire out of the corner of her eye, afraid to allow herself to become fully aware of the sincerity in his azure blue eyes. Noticing her reluctancy, Spike placed his finger on the side of her chin, gently turning Buffy’s face, and attention, to him. Another few silent seconds passed before Buffy finally responded, “Yeah, I think he is.” Spike smiled slightly, turning his gaze to the floor, “He’s a lucky bloke.” Buffy felt the sudden urge to apologize for, well, everything. From the very second he discovered something was wrong, he had been nothing but eager to help her, and throughout this whole ordeal she kept pushing him away! I’ve been such a bitch to him for years, and yet here he is, by my side. “Spike,” she started, still searching for the right words, “Thank you.” Turning his eyes back up to Buffy’s he asked, “For what?” Buffy shrugged, “I don’t know. Just for being here I guess.” Spike couldn’t hide the smile that was forming on his lips. Thinking now was as good a time as any, Spike said, “Why did you kiss me?” Rolling her eyes, Buffy answered, “You heard my conversation with Tara. I was having a hallucination. I thought I was kissing, um, him.” “Oh, so you can rub against the less dead version of me all you want, but add a little monster to the man and –” “Hey Buff, how ya feeling?” Buffy turned away from Spike to see Xander standing a few feet away. At first glance, Xander had only seen Buffy on the floor. When he noticed Spike next to her, his eyes narrowed, “What’s Captain Peroxide doing here?” Buffy stood up carefully, still a bit woozy from the fainting spell that may or may not have actually occurred. “Xander, it’s ok. Really.” Xander’s expression of hate did not fade. “Don’t bother, pet,” mumbled Spike as he also returned to his feet. “You’re loving this, aren’t you Spike?” interrogated Xander as he closed the distance between the two males, “All year you’ve been waiting for your chance, and now that she’s confused and hurting you swoop in for the kill! Well listen here Dead Boy, there –” “Xander!” Buffy scolded. She stepped in Xander’s path, pressing her hand on his chest to stop his advance on Spike, “Calm down! We were just talking.” Spike knew she was saving herself the trouble of dealing with the Whelp. Still, his un-beating heart swelled at the thought of Buffy coming to his aid. Sensing the tension growing between the two friends, Spike resolved to do what was best for the Slayer. Peeking from around Buffy, Spike said, “It’s been fun catchin’ up, Xander, but I got places to be.” Then, addressing Buffy he added, “If you need anything, you know where to find me.” Buffy nodded as Spike headed out the door, sun-blocking blanket in tow, and back to his crypt. “Does that guy ever give up?” Xander asked. “No, I guess not,” replied Buffy. Secretly, she wasn’t sure she wanted Spike to give up. Oblivious to Buffy’s thoughts of Spike, Xander moved on to the reason for his visit, “So, any trips to Delusion World lately?” Buffy shot him an ‘I can’t believe you said that!’ glare, causing Xander to rethink his words. “You know what I mean,” he mumbled. Buffy laughed at Xander’s discomfort, “I know.” She paused, her mind leading her to Xander’s problems. “Have you heard anything from Anya?” Xander sighed, “No. I’ve left about a hundred messages on her machine. Have you heard anything?” Buffy shook her head. “She probably went somewhere to think things out. I’m sure she’s ok.” “I hope so...” Xander’s voice trailed off as an idea popped into his head. “Buffy, you said that Anya and I were married in your delusion, right?” “Yeah. So what?” asked Buffy, not sure what the other reality had to do with Xander’s love troubles. “You could talk to her for me! You know, find out where she would go?” “What? Xander, I’m not sure it works that way,” Buffy stated reluctantly. “If the Anya there is a hallucination it wouldn’t work. I mean, if it’s all in my mind then it would be me, not her, telling you where to look.” Xander reached out his hand, placing it on Buffy’s shoulder, “I love her, Buffy. Please, you have to try.” “Ok, I’ll give it a shot,” Buffy relented, “But don’t get your hopes up too high.”

Chapter #11 - Eleven

“What do you think Buffy?” “Huh?” Buffy was sitting at the dining room table, running a fork through the uneaten plateful of macaroni and cheese in front of her, when she was brought out of her daze by Willow’s voice. Dawn, Xander, Willow, and Tara had long ago finished their lunches and had moved on to discussing the antidote. Buffy, however, had something much more important on her mind... Spike. She had not switched realities since she shared that kiss with Spike and she was starting to get impatient! She wanted to talk to him and learn more about their marriage. Mostly, she just wanted to see him again. She liked that Spike. A lot. She almost forgot which reality she was in earlier that day and confessed her feelings to the wrong Spike. That would be all I need! Spike already harasses me about ‘hiding my feelings,’ there’s no way he would let it go if I accidently told him he was right! Buffy’s wandering thoughts was once again interrupted, this time by Xander, “Earth to Buffy. Come in Buffy.” “What? Oh, sorry,” apologized Buffy, forcing herself to abandon her Spike issues for the time being. “What were you saying?” Dawn stood up and started to clear away the empty plates (and Buffy’s full one) as she said, “Willow was saying that we should get that demon tonight and grab his thingy.” With shock in their eyes, the Scoobies turned to face Dawn as she realized what she had just said. Her face blushed to a deep pink. “Pervs,” she muttered and hurried to the kitchen with the dirty dishes. “That was a mental picture I could have lived without,” joked Xander. “So the demon,” started Buffy, trying to force the image from her mind as well, “what’s it called again?” “Uh...” Willow stood up, shoved her hand into her back pocket, and pulled out a piece of paper. She unfolded it, sounding out the words as she read, “Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik.” “Oh. The Garlg–, I mean Glark–, oh screw it!” said Buffy, annoyed. She took a calming breath before continuing, “The demon just kinda showed up. I have no idea where to start looking.” “We got it covered, Buff,” assured Xander, “Dawn dug up some more info. This thing’s gotta be hiding in the woods, probably not too far from where it attacked you.” “The woods?” asked Tara, “Buffy, I thought you were attacked in a neighborhood.” Buffy nodded, “I was. It seemed like it jumped off the roof of one of the houses I was checking out.” Dawn re-entered the room, immediately joining in on the conversation, “The book said that those demons like to hide up in trees, so it could’ve been on the roof.” “That still doesn’t explain what it was doing in town,” reasoned Willow. “Maybe it was forced out of its natural habitat,” offered Dawn. Seeing the eye rolls and dismissive looks from the others, she attempted to explain her statement, “Haven’t you guys heard of deforestation?” Seeing that her theory was still out, Dawn slumped into one of the chairs, pouting. “L-Let’s concentrate on getting Buffy better first,” spoke up Tara, “We can figure out why in was in town later.” The group nodded collectively. “So, tonight it is,” said Buffy, “I’ll get my sword.” “I think you should sit this one out,” said Willow. Seeing that Buffy was confused, Willow continued, “What if you hallucinate in the middle of a fight?” “Ok, I get the point.” “Besides,” started Xander, “I’m up for kicking some demon ass!” “No way, Xander! This thing is too strong,” said Buffy. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” soothed Xander. Before Buffy could protest once more, he added, with contempt in his voice, “Besides, Dead Boy is tagging along.” “Oh. Well, ok. But be careful!” As the others continued their discussion about the best way to fight the demon, Buffy excused herself and headed upstairs for a nap. She wasn’t that tired, but if the antidote was going to get rid of the other reality, she was going to be sure to see her husband one last time. Settling down under the covers, Buffy closed her eyes and hoped for sleep to come soon. ----- Buffy rolled over, stretching her body, and searched the room with her eyes. Buffy must have slept a few hours, because the room was growing dim as the sun went down on another day. There was just enough light for Buffy to spot what she was looking for. A smile spread across her face at the sight of the antique dresser and cheesy wedding photos. It worked! She jumped out of bed and ran to the mirror to fix her tousled hair. When she had finished, Buffy took a moment to admire the happy smile of her reflection. Was it only this morning that I freaked out about being here? It seems like it’s been forever! Buffy tore herself away from the mirror and rushed down the stairs to find her husband. “Spike?” Buffy had reached the living room, frowning when she found it empty. Her next stop was the kitchen. “Spike, are you here?” she called out to no one. Where the hell is he? She was about to search upstairs when she noticed that the light was on for the back porch. “Hello?” she said, opening the back door. “Hey there, pet.” Spike was sitting on the stairs, watching as the sun neared the horizon. He scooted to one side, motioning for Buffy to sit next to him, “Thought you were goin’ to sleep the day away.” Buffy obediently sat down, snuggling up close, “And miss this sunset? Not a chance.” Spike placed his hand on her back and pressed a kiss against her forehead. Buffy smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, allowing him to pull her even closer. This feels so right, Buffy thought, how can this not be real? It made sense, after all. Here, everything seemed to be as it should. Xander and Anya had tied the knot and were as happy as ever, Buffy had not been ripped from heaven but was instead saved from some sort of Hellsville, and she had finally found a man who would never leave her. All in all, this reality was better. Neither one of them spoke until the sun disappeared from view. Still holding Buffy close, Spike said, “Were the Scoobies back when you woke up?” Without moving from Spike’s shoulder, she answered, “No. Why, where did they go?” “They went after the Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik.” “What?!” Buffy bolted upright, “You let them go after that thing?” “Well, yeah,” Spike replied, surprised that Buffy saw a problem with the situation, “Red’s got that Containment of Evil spell she’s been working on, remember?” “Willow’s doing spells again?” Spike raised an eyebrow at her question. So Willow isn’t addicted to magic here, Buffy thought, Something else to add to my list of the good. Noticing Spike still showing her his confused-face, she corrected herself, “I mean, what does that spell do?” “Not sure,” answered Spike, but added, “She mentioned somethin’ about a big bubble. I think it’s suppose to capture the bloke for her.” “Cool. Go Will!” Spike laughed at her enthusiasm. Since the couple would only have the house to themselves for a little while longer, Buffy decided to tell him her thoughts from earlier. “Spike?” “Yeah?” “Um. I- I love you.” A grin slowly spread across Spike’s face as he leaned in close to her, “Can I tell you somethin’, pet?” Buffy nodded. “I love you, too.” She couldn’t help it, Buffy leaped toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck and crashing her lips into his. Without his vampire strength, Buffy’s attack sent him falling backwards onto the floorboards of the porch. Buffy pulled her head away, her body on top of his, “Oh! Sorry!” Spike was laughing so hard that he couldn’t speak. The sound of his laughter brought a wide grin to the Slayer’s face, soon sending her into a cascade of giggles. When they finally caught their breath, Spike stood up, lifting Buffy with him. “So, pet. Would you like to take this upstairs or would you rather throw me around a bit more?” Buffy grabbed him by the hand and was already dragging him inside as she said, “A little of both, I think!” ----- Two hours later, Buffy was lying on her lover’s chest, listening to the sound of his newly beating heart as he slept. Sleep was calling for Buffy as well, but she was trying her hardest to push it away. I want to stay here... she thought as her eyes began to close, I want to stay...

Chapter #12 - Twelve

A/N: Yet another chapter for ya! This story is starting to wind down, maybe another 2 or 3 updates to go. Hope you like it! The morning sun filtered in through Buffy’s window, bathing her face in its warmth. Did I switch again? Her eyes still closed, Buffy tried to get her bearings. Ok, I’m facing the window, so Spike should be behind me... oh please be there! She quietly rolled over, hoping that her husband would be next to her. Reluctantly, Buffy pried one eye open to get a peek. To her relief, a pair of blue eyes were staring back at her. “Mornin’ luv,” Spike said with a yawn. Buffy’s face lit up, “You’re here!” Spike laughed, brushing a few strands of hair from her face, “Course I am. Where else would I be?” “Oh, I don’t know. I just thought...” Buffy saw the smile starting to drift from Spike’s face and decided to abandon the topic, “I don’t know what I thought.” Spike gave Buffy a reassuring smile, “You thought you’d be there again, yeah?” Buffy nodded, raising her hand to trace Spike’s chiseled cheekbones, “I don’t want to leave you.” “It’s goin’ to be all right,” said Spike as he pulled he up against him, “The Scoobies have got a fix all brewed up for you by now, I’d wager.” Buffy nuzzled her head against his bare chest. She wanted to stay just like that for the rest of her days. “Spike?” “Yes, pet?” “What was our wedding like?” Spike did not answer right away, but the quickening beat of his heart spoke for him. Buffy pulled away to look into his eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” When Spike finally did answer, his response was low and soft, “I’m all right... but it’s hard to hear that my own wife doesn’t remember our life together.” Buffy’s heart broke a little as she responded, “I wish I could.” “Well,” started Spike, attempting a lively tone, “I’m no vengeance demon, but I’d say your wish will come true soon.” “Oh! I almost forgot!” Buffy hopped out of bed and started scrambling along the floor to pick up her clothes from last night. Spike watched curiously as Buffy held up her shirt from last night, which was ripped up one side. She looked back at him, pouting. “Sorry, luv,” said Spike with a playful smile, “Guess I was a bit eager last night.” Buffy threw the ruined shirt at him and rushed to her closet, yanking a white spaghetti strap top off its hanger. As she hurriedly pulled the shirt over her head, Spike asked, “What’s the hurry?” Now fully clothed, Buffy replied, “I have to talk to Anya.” She gave Spike a quick kiss and headed out the door. ----- On her way downstairs, Buffy could hear her friends’ excited chattering coming from the kitchen. Once downstairs, she detected a faint, unpleasant odor, which grew in intensity as she neared the kitchen. Buffy stood in the doorway, peeking in at her friends. Willow and Tara were standing over a pot on the stove, tossing little bits of ingredients into the boiling concoction. Dawn was manning the back door, swinging it open and closed in an attempt to air out the room. Xander was on his hands and knees, his head shoved underneath the sink searching for something. She had to stifle her laughter as she listened in on the conversation: “Why do these things always have to reek?” asked Dawn, obviously getting tired from all the door swaying, “I mean, there’s got to be a potion of some sort that comes out smelling like roses!” Xander was pinching his nose shut with one hand and was using the other to pull random items out from under the sink. “Oh come on!” he exclaimed, his voice sounding nasal, “Don’t you people believe in air freshener?!” Willow turned away from the stove and gagged, “Ugh! I have stink taste in my mouth!” Tara remained quiet, but she and Willow took turns stirring so that Tara could fan the smell away from her nose. Buffy was about to make her presence known when she heard the front door open. It was Anya, who had returned from an apparent doughnut run. “Hello Buffy,” she said, thrusting the pastry box in her hands, “Have some breakfast. I am sure you could use the energy after all those orgasms Spike gave you.” Buffy almost dropped the box in surprise, “Anya!” “What?” she replied, not seeing a problem with her statement. “You can’t just... oh, forget it.” Buffy didn’t see the point in trying to explain how inappropriate Anya’s bluntness was. Instead, she tried to focus on the task at hand, “So, Anya. I have, um, this friend. And my friend truly and deeply loves this girl. And, well, my friend wants to commit to her someday, but isn’t quite ready yet.” Buffy paused as a knowing grin appeared on Anya’s face. “Why are you smiling?” Anya awkwardly patted her hand on Buffy’s shoulder, “It is ok to be gay, Buffy.” “You think I’m what?” Buffy wanted to yell, but feared that her friends would come running into the conversation. She did her best to keep her voice down, “No! I’m not gay. I’m very, very not gay!” “Are you sure?” Anya shrugged when Buffy glared back at her, “So this ‘friend’ of yours is really a friend?” “Yes, he is!” “Ok then. Continue your story.” Buffy took a breath, trying to regain her composure after Anya’s little revelation, “Anyway, my friend was suppose to get married not too long ago, but he kind of freaked and left her at the alter. She took off and he’s been looking for her ever since. So, um, what would you do if you were her?” Anger flashed in Anya’s eyes, “I would make him feel the pain of a thousand searing pokers boiling his heart in its own juices! I would wish his intestines were tied in knots and ripped apart inside his lousy gut! He would –” “Anya!” The images of Anya shoving hot pokers into Xander’s chest was already haunting Buffy, there was no way she could listen to any more! “That’s not what I meant. Let me put this differently. If Xander had left you at the alter –” “That would never happen,” scoffed Anya. Buffy rolled her eyes, “But if he did, and you had run off, where you go?” Anya answered a little too quickly, “Easy. I would go to Arash Ma’har.” “Huh?” “Arash Ma’har,” Anya repeated, then explained, “It is D’Hoffryn’s home dimension. You remember him, right? From the wedding?” Buffy’s heart sank. How am I going to tell Xander? Maybe it’s not what I think. Maybe this D’Hoffa guy is a father figure or something... Buffy decided to find out, “Uh, yeah, he seemed... nice. So, um, why would you go see him exactly?” “To exact some vengeance, of course. Why else would a woman scorned go to D’Hoffryn?” A loud clang followed by a painful shout from Xander caused Anya to lose interest in the conversation and head into the kitchen. Buffy stood there, stunned as she muttered to herself, “Xander is really not going to like this...”

Chapter #13 - Thirteen

“How’s it going in there?” Buffy asked, poking her head into the kitchen. “Hey Buffy!” greeted an excited Willow, “I think the antidote is almost done. It just has to simmer a little while longer.” Buffy wrinkled her nose, “Is it going to taste as bad as it smells?” As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt Spike’s arms wrap around her waist, pulling her back flush against his chest. He rested his chin on her shoulder as he said, “No worries, pet. I’ll give you some sugar to help the medicine go down.” He snuggled his nose against her hair, dropping little kisses along her neck. Buffy laughed, covering Spike’s hands with her own. She turned her face to his, “Since when do you quote Mary Poppins?” Spike sent her a sheepish smile, “Since Nibblet decided I needed an all night Disney marathon a few weeks ago.” Buffy looked over at Dawn who had abandoned her door swinging duties and was looking quite smug. Seeing the quizzical expression on her sister’s face, Dawn explained, “The man thought ‘Bambi’ was about a porn star. I had to do something!” Spike released his grip on Buffy and headed to the refrigerator. His cheeks had flushed out of embarrassment and he mumbled, “Bloody awful name for a buck if you ask me.” Buffy smiled, watching as Spike grabbed a carton of orange juice from the fridge. I wonder if I’ve even seen Spike blush before... That thought caused the smile to fade as she came to understand something she did not want to be true: I’m hallucinating. The room started spinning around Buffy as more unpleasant thoughts entered Buffy’s mind. Why can’t I remember anything? My stay in Hell, Spike’s proposal, my wedding vows, Spike’s first sunburn?! If this is where I belong, then I should know every last detail! But I don’t. Please, please let me remember! I want this to be real, PLEASE be real! Xander had noticed the color drain from his friend’s face, “Buff?” Spike turned his attention from the glass of juice he was pouring in time to see his wife collapse. Spike dropped the carton, sending its contents spilling across the floor, and rushed to her side. “Buffy! Buffy, can you hear me?” After a couple minutes, consciousness began to return to Buffy. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing a very worried Spike staring back at her. “What happened?” she asked weakly. “You must have passed out, luv,” answered Spike. He placed his arm around her back, lifting her slowly to her feet. “How do you feel?” “Ok, I guess.” However, she was still a little wobbly, so she leaned herself against him. “Buffy?” asked Spike. “Hmm?” she replied, nuzzling her head into his chest and hugging him tight. Just being near him made her feel stronger. Spike gently placed his hands on her back and sighed. “Not that I’m not enjoyin’ this, but...” Spike’s voice had trailed off, but Buffy knew what it was that he was going to say. She pulled her head away and looked into his eyes, “I’m back, aren’t I?” Buffy expected some snide comment or that devilish smirk of his, but instead Spike just nodded and said, “Sorry, luv.” Buffy released her grip around Spike and took a couple steps back. Spike diverted his eyes uncomfortably, trying to focus on anything other than Buffy. “No Spike, I’m the one that should be sorry.” Spike turned his attention back to Buffy, narrowing his eyes and slightly tilting his head as if trying to understand what he was hearing. Buffy noticed, but continued, “You have done so much for me these past few years and all you get in return is a bloody nose. I mean, have I thanked you at all for protecting Dawn over the summer?” Still a bit stunned from the Buffy’s heart felt apology, Spike just shook his head. “See?! God, I’m such a bitch!” “Ay! None of that now,” interrupted Spike, “I’m the only one that gets to call you a bitch around here.” A small grin escaped Buffy’s lips. “There it is,” Spike said, “I knew I could get a smile out of you.” Her cheeks reddening a little, Buffy said, “Anyway, thanks. Thank you for helping my friends while I was, well, dead. Thank you for being there for Dawn... and most of all for me. I know the whole ‘I was in heaven’ thing must have been hard to hear. It wasn’t an easy thing to say, that’s for sure. But, I do want you to know that I told you for a reason.” Spike arched his scarred eyebrow, using Buffy’s own words against her, “Because I ‘just happened to be lurkin’ outside’?” “Actually, that was part of the reason,” she said defensively. “But really, I told you because I knew that you would listen. My friends didn’t want to hear about how much I was hurting. They wanted me to come back and act like I had never left at all. But you, you were the one person who didn’t expect anything from me. So, thank you.” Lowering his head, Spike said, “I’m not a person, remember?” Buffy stepped closer to him, bending her head down to meet his eyes. “Hey,” she said, waiting as he raised his head back up. She gave him a big smile and whispered, “You are to me.” When Buffy had finished, she waited for some sort of response from Spike. For a few long seconds, they stood in silence, each one processing what was just said. “Well,” spoke up Spike, finally, “In that case, you’re welcome.” The two of them heard heavy footsteps approaching the kitchen and both of them turned their heads to the entrance in anticipation. When Xander walked in, Buffy noticed he was holding her tranquilizer gun. “Hey Buffy,” he said, nodding in her direction. Xander then turned to Spike and said, “You ready?” “Yeah,” Spike answered, heading out of the kitchen. “Wait, where are you guys going?” asked Buffy. Spike continued of the room, but Xander replied, “We’ve got a demon to find.” “Xander, wait a minute,” said Buffy, hurrying over to her friend. “Ok, but make it quick,” Xander relented, “Tara did a locator spell to track down the demon, but it might not be there for long.” “I, um, I talked to Anya. The ‘other’ Anya.” Xander’s eyes widened, “And?” Buffy bit her bottom lip, not quite sure how to break the news. “Well, um. She kind of told me that there’s a remote possibility that she would... uh... got to a friend’s place.” Xander looked hopeful as he asked, “Whose place? Where?” Damn. “Uh, well... she wasn’t very specific,” lied Buffy. “What do you mean? What did she say?” “You know,” Buffy continued, “She said something about releasing her pain and that was it.” Well, part of that is true! “Oh.” Xander’s disappointed was evident, “Thanks for trying, Buff.” “Sure thing.” Xander turned to leave, when Buffy called after him, “Xander?” “Yeah?” She heard Anya’s words playing over again in her head: ‘To exact some vengeance, of course. ...the pain of a thousand searing pokers...’ Buffy sighed, “Be careful out there.”

Chapter #14 - Fourteen

“What’s with the quiet?” Xander and Spike had reached the woods near the site of Buffy’s attack. The two men had made the car ride in silence, and now the quiet walk through the woods was starting to bother Xander. Spike ignored Xander’s question, so Xander pressed him once again, “Seriously.” Still, Spike did not answer. Xander was getting aggravated, “Why is it that when I want you to shut up you won’t stop talking, but when I actually look for a response you clam up?” Finally, Spike stopped in his tracks, causing Xander to stop with him. Spike simply opened his mouth and said, “I don’t like you.” With that Spike continued his search, leaving Xander to call after him, “Yeah, so? Lots of people don’t like me, but they still talk to me!” Realizing what he had just said, Xander rolled his eyes and caught up with Spike. “Listen man,” said Xander, “I’m not exactly jumping for joy about being stuck with you all night, but we have to find this thing. For Buffy.” Spike replied, “Yeah. I know.” As they walked deeper into the woods, Xander began rambling on about Anya running off to a friend or something. Spike could care less. He had someone much more important to worry about: Buffy. If he didn’t find this demon, he would be losing her all over again. Spike clenched his fists at the memories floating in his head. He saw himself standing on that platform, Dawn only a couple of feet away. He saw the fear in her face when he was thrown off, remembering his thoughts as he plummeted through the air: ‘I failed her. Dawn will die and it will be because of me.’ Then his mind fast-forwarded to the sound of Buffy’s lifeless body crashing to the ground. He remembered the overwhelming sadness taking him over as he realized she would be gone forever. He could still see her laying there. Somehow, Giles had managed to pull him away from her remains as the sun rose higher in the sky. I can’t lose her, not again. Spike was torn from the unhappy memories when his vampire hearing picked up something moving. He recognized the sounds to be the tiny snaps and cracks of breaking twigs. And they seemed to be coming from overhead. Spike slowed his pace, his eyes scouring the branches above him. Xander, who was still having his one-man conversation, could tell something was up. Lowering his voice to a whisper, Xander asked, “What is it? The demon?” Spike kept his eyes trained above him as he answered, “Not sure, but there is something up there.” As if on cue, Buffy’s demon attacker leapt down from the trees, landing right in front of the unlikely pair. Xander shouted in surprise. Spike eyed the demon for a moment, then turned to Xander, “Oh, balls. You didn’t say it was a Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik!” Xander yelled back, “That’s because I can’t say Glarkma– aaaagh!” The demon interrupted Xander’s attempt at its name by hurling itself at Xander, sending the man to ground. The creature then turned to Spike, kicking its leg towards Spike’s face. Spike managed to duck, then let loose with multiple blows to the demon’s head. While Spike was keeping it busy, Xander hurriedly cocked the tranquilizer gun, aiming at the demon’s chest. Spike threw his leg out, landing a kick to the demon’s abdomen, which sent it stumbling backwards. Seizing the opportunity, Xander pulled the trigger, sending the dart to its target. Seeing the dart hit, Spike sent a fist flying toward the demon’s head. Xander stood up as the Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik blocked the attempt and connected multiple kicks to Spike’s torso, knocking Spike off his feet. Using the gun as a club, Xander rushed the demon, beating the gun against it’s skull. The demon stubbled back a couple of steps, but Xander followed, raising the gun high for a repeat attack. The demon recovered quickly, preventing the blow and pushing Xander to the ground once more. Growing angrier by the second, Spike lunged at the demon, throwing fierce punches to its face. The demon finally caught Spike’s arm to stop him. From his position on the ground, Xander shot the gun again, landing yet another dart in the demon’s chest. Startled, and becoming woozy, the creature released his hold on Spike. Spike sent a kick to the its head, causing the demon to spin around with its back to its opponent. Spike grabbed the demon’s head in his hands, twisting until he heard the snap of its neck. The demon collapsed to the ground. Spike stood over the limp body, reveling in the thrill of the fight. Xander approached the satisfied vampire, wanting to share in the victory. Staring down at the demon, Xander joked, “I altered his reality.” Pleased with his little pun, he turned to Spike, slowly becoming aware of the unamused glare Spike was sending his way, “Get it? I... never mind.” Spike reached down and scooped up the Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik, throwing its body over his shoulder. “Spike?” asked Xander, following behind him as they headed out of the woods, “Weren’t we suppose to bring this thing in alive?” “Yeah,” answered Spike, pausing to heave the demon a little higher on his shoulder, “You have to decapitate these buggers if you want them dead. A broken neck just hurts like hell.” ----- While the boys were out demon hunting, Buffy had retreated to her room. She had no intention of falling asleep, but the combination of her stillness and the emotional yo-yo she had been dealing with for the past few days was getting the best of her. She wanted to see the Spike she loved again, but now she knew he wasn’t real. Seeing him would be much too hard. Buffy had just about given in to her lowering eyelids when she heard a soft knocking at her door. “Buffy? Wake up. I’ve got yummy antidote goodness for you.” Willow stepped in, holding a cup full of some dark, lumpy liquid. “Just, when it’s cool, drink it all down and everything should be back to normal for you.” “Like I’ll ever be normal,” muttered Buffy. “What?” “Uh, nothing.” Buffy sat up in bed, accepting the hot mug from Willow’s hands. “Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you about some stuff.” Willow sat down next to her friend, “Sure, Buffy. What is it?” Buffy took a deep breath, pausing before she confessed, “I’m going to miss that reality.” Worry lines appeared on Willow’s forehead, “Why?” “Here’s the thing. I like it there. Everything is so much better, so much easier. I like the way I feel, the way he makes me feel.” Buffy studied the surprised expression taking over her friend’s face before adding, “Willow, I’m in love with him.” “Really?” Willow was trying to be supportive, but this caught her off guard! “Willow!” “Sorry, it’s just... Spike.” Willow shook her head, trying to regain her focus, “Well, um. Are you gonna tell him?” A look of panic swept over Buffy’s face, “What? God, no! This Spike is not the same Spike. My Spike is sweet and caring and fun to be around. Real Spike is just so, so... bleagh!” “But in this‘perfect Spike’ land, everyone is the same as here, right?” She waited as Buffy nodded in response, then Willow said, “So the only difference is that you’re with him?” “No. Everything’s different,” answered Buffy. “I thought you said –” “Yes, everyone here is the same,” Buffy interrupted, “but the circumstances are different.” “Such as?” “Well...” Buffy knew Willow wasn’t going to like what she was about to say, but it had to be said. “You know how I told you Spike was human there?” Willow nodded. “He gave up his immortality to save me.” “What do you mean?” asked a worried Willow. “I was never in heaven there, Will. I was in some sort of hell. Spike made a deal with some guy and he brought me back. Spike is going to get old and die because he loves me, and I love him.” Willow sat very still, letting Buffy’s news sink in. Finally, Willow spoke up, “Buffy, if I had known what I do now...” “It’s ok, Willow. I don’t blame you for any of this,” said Buffy, sending her friend a reassuring smile. Willow nodded and took a deep breath as she got back on the topic of Spike, “So, um, what makes you think that your Spike and real Spike aren’t the same Spike?” “Huh? I told you, they are two completely different guys.” “Doesn’t sound like it to me,” Willow said with a shrug, “I mean, Spike’s put his life on the line for you lots of times. For all of us.” “Yeah, but that’s just because he was trying to make me like him,” explained Buffy. Willow raised her eyebrows at Buffy, “It worked for the other Spike. After all, you did sort of marry the guy.” Buffy shifted uncomfortably as she began to see her friend’s point, “Well he... it’s like... um, it’s complicated.” Willow wasn’t about to let Buffy end this conversation like that, “Why? Because ideal Spike was human and the real one is a vampire?” Buffy lowered her eyes as she mumbled, “Maybe...” “Well, if you ask me,” started Willow, “you should get to know real Spike better before you end up playing house with a delusion for the rest of your life.” She stood up, patting Buffy’s arm, “Be sure to drink all of that.” Buffy nodded, “Sure thing.” Willow closed the bedroom door behind her, leaving Buffy staring at the sludge inside her mug.

Chapter #15 - Fifteen

A/N: Here it is, the final chapter! I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed along the way, I really appreciate it. Happy reading! Spike was standing at the bottom of the stairs when Willow left Buffy’s room. “Did it work?” Willow began her decent to the lower level as she answered, “I just gave it to her. We should find out in a few hours.” Spike began pacing in the foyer, wringing his hands. Willow found herself having to hold back a chuckle. He reminded her of the cliche nervous father-to-be, pacing in the waiting room. Unsure that she could hold her laughter in much longer, Willow spoke up, “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind a visitor.” Spike stopped in his tracks, confusion showing along his features. “Besides,” reasoned Willow, “someone should really make sure that she actually drinks that stuff. If it tastes as horrible as it smells it’s gonna be hard to swallow down!” Spike hurried up the stairs, flashing Willow a thankful smile on his way up. Willow was pleased with herself for moving things along with those two. Ever since her ‘My Will be Done’ spell went awry, Willow suspected that they shared some emotion other than hate. It was just a matter of getting Buffy to acknowledge her feelings. Still, Buffy’s little love confession surprised Willow, It’s not like I ever expected her to admit it. Willow heard pots and pans banging together in the kitchen. Peeking into the room, Willow watched as Tara loaded the sink with their antidote-making mess. Willow worried her bottom lip as she headed in to see the woman she loved, Maybe it’s time for me to admit my feelings, too. ----- Buffy wasn’t stupid. She could see the shadow of the vampire’s feet going back and forth on the other side of the door. Buffy finally rolled her eyes and yelled out, “Spike!” The bedroom door flung open, revealing a wide-eyed and panicked Spike, “What is it? What’s wrong?!” Buffy couldn’t help but laugh, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. But you were driving me nuts with all the pacing!” Relieved, Spike entered the room, shutting the door behind him. His eyes fell to the mug in Buffy’s hands. Spike nodded towards the mug, “How is it?” Buffy stuck her tongue out in disgust, “It’s not as pleasant as you would think. Want a taste?” Spike leaned against the wall, “No thanks, I’ll pass.” Not knowing what to say next, Spike feigned interest in a small piece of lint on his sleeve. Buffy took Spike’s distraction as an opportunity to look him over. His hair gel was wearing out, allowing small curls to gather on top of his head. He was dressed head-to-toe in black, his boots lightly coated with dirt from his trip through the woods. “I bet you would look good in blue...” Spike’s eyes darted back to the Slayer, “Pardon?” Buffy’s eyes grew wide as she realized what she had said, “Did I say that out loud?” Spike smiled, “Afraid so, luv.” “It’s true you know... I mean, a little blue would really bring out the color in your eyes,” Buffy said, seeing no point in trying to take back the remark. Spike angled his head the side, “Are you here or in that delusion?” “I’m here!” defended Buffy, “Why?” Spike shrugged, “For a minute there you bein’ nice to me. Thought it might’ve been meant for him.” Ok, my uber-bitchy self deserved that. Buffy motioned for Spike to sit next to her. When he was seated, Buffy said, “I want you to know something.” Spike searched Buffy’s eyes for some indication of what she was about to say, but she wasn’t giving any clues. He nodded, “Go on.” She took a deep, cleansing breath before saying, “I think you deserve to know how I feel about him... and how I feel about you.” Spike shifted uncomfortably, “I’m not sure I want to know.” Buffy rolled her eyes and smacked his arm, “Just shut up and listen, ok?” Smiling, Spike rubbed at his arm, “No need for violence, pet. Come on then, let’s have it.” “Ok, here goes...” Buffy clenched her eyes shut tight as she said, “I love him.” Buffy was expecting to hear an ‘Ah ha!’ or ‘I knew you wanted me!’ coming from Spike’s mouth, but she didn’t hear any of that. Instead, Spike said softly, “Does he know?” Confused, Buffy reopened her eyes, “Uh... yeah. He knows.” “Well, thanks for sharin’,” said Spike, standing to his feet, “I should go. Got a Glarghk Guhl Kashmas ‘nik to finish off.” Spike started heading to the door, when Buffy’s words stopped him, “Spike, wait! I’m not done.” Spike turned back to face her, “Look. I’m not expectin’ a thing from you. I know I’ll never be the man you deserve, so stop worrin’ about how I’ll take it. I understand, Buffy. You’ll never feel the way I do. I won’t push you to admit somethin’ you don’t feel. Not anymore.” Buffy’s eyes welled up, “Spike, I’m so sorry.” “No need for apologies,” he said, bowing his head to avoid seeing her tears. Buffy stood up and wiped a teardrop from her cheek. She walked over to Spike and took his hand in hers. Spike looked up at her, his eyes narrowing with confusion. After a few seconds, Buffy said to him, “I’m not saying I’m in love with you... but I do feel something. You have this ability to make me feel so safe just by knowing that you’re around. Then again, no one can piss me off beyond words like you can, either.” Spike cracked a smile at her remark. Gazing into his eyes, Buffy reached up, cupping his cheek. The heat of her hand seemed to warm Spike’s entire body. Without realizing it, he leaned in, laying a soft kiss on Buffy’s lips. When she pulled away, Spike hurriedly said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have...” “Spike –” “I know,” he interrupted, “I won’t say a word to the Scoobies, don’t worry.” Buffy shrugged, “You might as well. They’ll find out soon.” Spike wrinkled his brow, “What do you mean?” “I’m willing to give this a try. To give us a try. I don’t love you... not yet anyway. But I do like you and that’s a start, right?” Spike was shocked! At first he thought he was having another Buffy-inspired dream. But as she ran her hand up and down his arm, he knew it was real. Her drew her against him, staring down into her eyes. Buffy wrapped an arm around his neck, kissing him as if it was for the first time. When Buffy’s lips left his, Spike brushed his fingertips along her cheek, “Were you there with me?” “I was,” she said, smiling back at him. Pulling himself away from the tender moment, Spike motioned towards the antidote sitting on the night stand. “You better take your medicine, luv.” Buffy reluctantly turned away from Spike, taking the mug in her hands as she plopped down on the bed. “Are you sure I have to drink all of it?” “Every drop.” Spike smiled at the disgusted face Buffy made as she chugged the concoction. He leaned against the wall again as he joked, “You do know there will be no more kisses until you get that taste out of your mouth, yeah? That stuff is bloody awful.” Buffy rolled her eyes as she placed the empty mug on the night stand. “In that case, have Willow make me some for tomorrow,” she teased back. “You’ll pay for that, Slayer!” Spike rushed towards her, sending Buffy into a fit of giggles as she leapt from the bed to avoid her attacker. Spike caught her in his arms, trying to drag her to the ground, but Buffy broke free and rushed to the other side of the room. Smirking mischievously, Spike took off in her direction once more. The sounds of their ‘fight’ were easily heard downstairs. Xander, Dawn, Willow, and Tara were sitting in the living room, their eyes focused on the ceiling. “Please tell me that they’re trying to kill each other,” groaned Xander. Willow and Tara exchanged knowing glances, their hands intertwined. Dawn just shrugged, “It’s about time they let loose with the sexual tension.” The group turned to Dawn, surprised expressions on the girls’ faces, and a horrified look on Xander’s. “Oh come on guys,” said Dawn, “You know you were thinking it!” THE END