When She Needed Me by NighttimeDarling

Chapter #1 - One

A/N: My first fic, so please be kind and review! Much love to my wonderful beta, Always_jbj! I’m standing outside the door, still undecided as to whether I should go in. She should be surrounded by family and loved ones; not by a creature like me. She's always been so strong, and now this. It's not fair that she should go out like this. She should go out like the warrior she is, not like some common human. But, there's fate for you. Never deals a fair hand. I take a breath I don't need and push open the hospital room door. There's no one else in there. No one but her. Why is she alone? There should be a crowd of people, telling her how wonderful she is and how much they love her. But, I know why there's not. They've moved on. After some of the mini-slayers came and helped us win the battle in LA, the Scoobies decided to check out of the slaying gig. Told Buffy they'd done enough, sacrificed enough. Willow lost Kennedy. Poor chit. Xander drifted off after he lost Anya. I never liked the bloke, but the bird was a bit of a decent sort. My poor girl. After Giles went and started a new council, and Dawn started school in England, there wasn't much for Buffy to do. There were a thousand other girls to do her job. She never felt like she was anything aside from the Slayer. She never got married. I was sad, and yet at the same time pleased, when I heard that tidbit. Maybe she really did mean what she said in the Hellmouth that day. I stand over her hospital bed. She looks so small. She's always been small, but now she looks it. Always been strong, my girl has. It's been forty years since I've seen her, but she's just as beautiful as the day I first saw her dancing in the Bronze. Granted, her long golden locks are gone, taken by the chemo. Now, her bald head is covered by a colorful scarf. She has a few lines on her face, but I look at her in the moonlight, and I wonder why I stayed away. I know why I did. Peaches convinced me that she needed a normal life. I’d never listened to him before; don't know why I started. Buffy never got to have a normal life. A few years after the spell to make all the potentials into Slayers, the witch had to reverse it. Apparently the 'imbalance of power' was too great. Buffy went back to being the 'one girl in all the world'. Poor lamb. I brush my hand against her cheek, and her eyes flutter open. Her big green eyes are as clear as ever. I feel like I could drown in them. She gives me a small smile. "Hi," she whispers. I am stunned. "Hello love." I whisper back. She smiles again. "I knew you would come. I don't know how, but I knew you would." I frown. Does she think I’m a ghost? Pillock, of course she does! You never told her you were back. I take her hand and hold it in mine. It feels so frail, I'm afraid I'll break it. "I'll always come for you, love. I've missed you." She just looks at me for a moment. "Why didn't you come for me?" she asks, with tears in her eyes. "All these years you've been back. Why didn't you come for me?" I'm taken aback. She knew. She knew I'd been back. "I was afraid," I admit softly. "I was afraid you didn't really mean it." "Of course I meant it. I still do. No one has ever been able to take your place." I give a soft chuckle at this. "No love, I guess they haven't." She closes her eyes. "I'm so tired. All this medicine they're pumping into me just seems to make me sicker." I look at all of the hoses and wires sticking out of her. Dammit! It's not right for a Slayer to die, of all things, of cancer! I feel tears being to pool in my eyes. "It's not fair, baby," I whisper, trying hard not to cry. "You shouldn't have to go out like this. You should go down fighting, in all your glory." She opens her eyes. "Spike, I'm sixty-two years old. Not much fight left in me." I have to outright laugh at that one. "Love, you have more fight in you than a dozen full-grown men could ever hope to have." I get a little grin from that. "Spike?" I look at her. She has the look on her face that says she wants something, and won't take no for an answer. "I don't want to die like this. Not here, and not like this." I know what she's asking me. And I know that I'll do it. Because she's Buffy, I'll do anything for her. I nod. She begins to unhook herself from all the various machines, pulling out needles and wires. I scoop her up, and walk out the door. “Excuse me, sir!" a nurse calls. "You can’t do..." I turn and flash my game face. The nurse stops and we continue on, unhindered. I take her to a spot I know; on top of a small hill in a park, with a beautiful view of the sunrise. I sit, with her in my lap, and to my surprise, she kisses me. "I love you.” she says, looking very weak and pale. "I'll always love you." "I love you too, Buffy." She closes her eyes, and bares her neck. I take the time to inhale, to savor her scent. Even tainted with sickness as she is, she still smells wonderful. I shift into my game face and bite down. Buffy doesn't even flinch. The most wonderful ambrosia I have ever tasted slides down my throat. I drink and drink until I hear her heart slow, and she takes a last labored breath. When her heart finally stops, I stop drinking, and hold her. I wasn't there for forty years when she needed me. But, I'm here now. She went out like a Slayer, killed by a vampire. And now, holding my love in my arms, I sit on the hill and wait for sunrise. And even though I know it's a remote possibility, I still hope to end up where she is. Because she needs me.