Forward to Time Past by Unbridled_Brunette

04/08/2013 08:50 pm
Epilogue         
Great Story love it ^_^

04/08/2013 08:50 pm
Epilogue         
Great Story love it ^_^

Annie
02/13/2013 03:38 am
Epilogue         
Supperb!! Couldn't stop reading!

Neinka
09/20/2012 01:33 am
Epilogue         
There are only three words I want to tell you because thousand pages of my praises and gratitude would not enough so: Perfection! Thank you!

becca
03/20/2012 02:12 am
Epilogue         
that was awesome.. you made me realize what a good character William is. 

buffyblog.tumblr.com

^ that's my blog

xoxo
-bec

03/08/2012 03:56 am
Epilogue         
This is one of the most complex, most intelligently written stories I've read in a very long time.  Sometimes it was hard to read because it was so very emotionally true and that was at times quite painful.  Still, I am really glad you shared it with us.  I'd like to write more, but I'm exhausted as I pretty much read this in one go and have to go to bed... However, I really have enjoyed it and it has been quite thought provoking and insightful. There were times when I felt you were hard on the supporting cast, but I don't think it was character bashing and no one was two dimensional, so I'm quite happy.  There's a tendency in some 'ship fic to portray Willow/Xander/Giles and Angel as the devil and I'm glad that didn't happen here.  Everyone had their flaws and everyone had their assets.

Peace,

Blue
http://www.tthfanfic.org/authors.php?no=12717&list=profile 

Melody
04/25/2011 10:07 pm
Epilogue         
Ok, so I have to say. I read this story a while ago... probably over a year ago now. I loved it so much that when I felt the urge to read a good piece of fanfic I HAD to track it down. I searched all over the internet for weeks looking for this specific story. It's that good. It's the best. 

Melanie
11/28/2010 12:51 pm
Epilogue         

It has been a long time since I've found a piece of fanfiction that swept me away, but I was absolutely captivated by your work.  I just came upon in the past few days and devoured it in its entirety.  The time and effort you put into this was astounding.  I'd lost my interest in a lot of fanfiction after plodding through a lot of poorly written stories, but finding your gem reminded me that there are still brilliant writers out there if I'm patient and can find them.  Thanks for your wonderful take on the characters.  In many ways, this was better than cannon.

BloodyHell
09/07/2010 05:27 pm
Epilogue         
I've read your story for the second time now. I even liked it better!!! Such a great romance with a tinge of drama. Would love to read a short sequel. Just a bit about the daily life of Spuffy - could you do that ?
I'm glad you're still enjoying the story after all this time. I wrote a drabble for someone on livejournal that is set in the FtTP 'verse, but it's silly rather than romantic. Still, it gives a brief glimpse into what the characters are up to. unbridled-b.livejournal.com/128192.html#cutid1 If you want, give me few specifics (like a challenge), and I'll see about doing a FtTP one-shot for you. Thanks again for reviewing!

Kris
08/13/2010 11:21 pm
Epilogue         
 This story has slowly become my favorite Spuffy fanfiction. I loved the characterization of William. You were also really able to express how Will changed and evolved to the Spike we know and love today. 

I know I would love, and I am sure other would too, if you could write an alternate ending to your story where Willow was never able to pull Buffy back. It would be interesting to see how you thought their life could have ended and what type of problems it could have caused for the future. It is just an idea for another story, but I would love if it happened.

pearlseed
12/22/2009 02:26 am
Epilogue         
Still a wonderful story--was when I read it two years ago and is still wonderful now, the voices are so right the feelings--charming plot and very well thought out.  You really nailed this one.  Thank you so much.

MunchletteBelle
11/12/2009 05:33 am
Epilogue         
I just finished reading this story and wanted to let you know that I loved it. I enjoyed Dawn (something I rarely get to say) and I really liked the way you expanded Spike's backstory and managed to include a great deal of canon in your altered timeline. This was really lovely and I enjoyed it immensely.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

10/11/2009 07:30 am
Epilogue         
ya. your so awesome. incredible awesome. love your work. reading a chapter of yours makes me feel like ive acomplished something in my life

09/14/2009 06:02 am
Epilogue         
 I am so glad I went back and re-read the story from the beginning. I enjoyed it every bit as much as I did the first time, especially now with this lovely last chapter. Its a fantastic story and one that always stands out for me for so many reasons. You should be really proud of it and I really hope you continue writing and posting.

09/06/2009 10:44 pm
Epilogue         
well worth the wait. the epilogue (and the entire tale) was a fine read. thank you.

holly
09/02/2009 06:12 am
Epilogue         
Perfect. Seriously, this is the perfect ending. You should feel proud. Thank you so much for sharing this story with everyone.

analise
09/02/2009 06:10 am
Epilogue         
I read most of this story listening to four songs (I like having background music) I had bought recently from iTunes.  "Stranded" "Always" "Real Life Fairytale" by Plumb and "This never happened before" by Paul McCarthey. 
In some ways "Real Life Fairytale" is how I consider this story: is raw and everyone has flaws, everyone makes mistakes and its longer than the usual 2 hours of a film <grin>.  I think the hardest part about marriage is that we meet that part of ourselves that we hate the worst and someone else is there to witness and experience all of it. The real question is whether we truly want to have the strength to change.
Thanks for the great story even though Spike has a potty mouth.

messiah
09/01/2009 10:28 pm
Epilogue         
Very nice I especially like “Welcome home, Spike.”

—ten fucking feet tall.

He swallowed, forced out a hoarse chuckle.

Was this the ending you had intended to write all along?

08/31/2009 05:26 pm
Epilogue         
I loved, Loved, LOVED it - started reading it on Nocturnal Light when you were featured author and there were maybe 60 chapters, and it's been a long wait so I'm so glad to see the conclusion!! Gonna go back and read it all again so that I get the effect of the whole, and might have some more detailed feedback for you after that. I do remember especially loving the first section in London; thought it was really well paced and admired no end your portrayal of William, in that he was perfectly Victorian, but the loneliness and need which would be part of canon Spike were well in place. [Plus, the sex scenes were *hawt* in that way they can only be when serious depth of emotion is involved - ie. when it's lovmaking ;-D] Good characterisations, and none of that villainy-of-the-Scoobs bollocks that always annoys me so much. That conversation with Xander at the end... good stuff. Thanks and kudos

xxo yahatedparis

legen
08/31/2009 11:34 am
Epilogue         
this story is the shit. i've been reading it since the begining and have loved every word.

Callace
08/30/2009 09:10 pm
Epilogue         
Thank you so much for this story. It is one of the best I have ever read! At least when it comes to spuffy.

Your portrayal of Spike, both as old William and as the Spike we know in S5-6 is amazing. You got him down so well, and I particualrly love that you allow him to be a vampire, in body and mind, when he is one.

But I really believe he needs a soul to make their relationship work. If they try making it work without, it will, as you pointed out, for her be much like raising a child. And for him it must get very frustrating to have to take her lead for every single thing he does. Like you point out in this last chapter, he gets really worked up about not being able to make a difference on his own, have his own independent projects to help and provide for her and Dawn, for instance. And, as rash and impulsive as we all know him to be, I have a hard time seeing that he would manage to curb his every whim forever, in wait to get it ok'ed by her. (and even if he did, it would create a highly unhealthy unbalance of power in their relationship.) So, in order to develope free will and sound judgement on his own, making decisions that is fully his and yet morally defendable, Spike needs to fist get ensouled!

(and I am writing these musings also bc I would so totally love to read your take on souled Spike!:thud: When you do Human and Unsouled Spike so brilliantly, I am sure you would rock at portraying the souled version too. And getting to read how this version of Buffy comforts and consoles him through his souled craze and depression would have been wonderful!! So please....

Anyhow, love the story!!!

spuffy chick
08/29/2009 10:47 pm
Epilogue         
i couldn't remember how many times i cried while reading this...i was so touched! you were AWESOME!!! this is a GREAT read!

08/29/2009 04:34 pm
Epilogue         
 I loved this story so much; I've read many chapters - especially the "past" ones - more than once. I feel you did the ending justice. Buffy and Spike have both grown in this story, and their happily-ever-after is plainly possible. This is definitely one of my all-time favourite Buffy fics. Bravo!

Judy
08/29/2009 02:34 pm
Epilogue         
All your hard work on this story was well worth it.  Great read.

08/28/2009 10:12 pm
Epilogue         
This was a perfect ending! It clarified all the angst and Buffy's advice is right on. Thank you for a wonderful body of work.

toffeegrrl
08/28/2009 03:55 pm
Epilogue         
One of the best spuffy stories I've ever read. Love your easy flowing writing style, the wonderful characterisations of a conflicted Buffy trying to survive in a hostile world and poor, lonely William/Spike desperately trying to do the right thing (even when he doesn't know what that is). Also loved your descriptions of 19thC London and your use of detail to bring that world to life. Thanks so much.

TwilightChild
08/28/2009 03:24 am
Epilogue         
  I have been absolutely captivated by your story since the fifth chapter or so.  I have laughed and cried and I am very satisfied by the ending, and by Buffy's decision.  Happiness all around!  And though there are likely struggles ahead for them, I have confidence in the relationship that you built.  Thank you for taking the time to finish the story, for being dedicated to your creation.

08/27/2009 07:00 am
Epilogue         
A nice ending to an epic story.  Thanks for sharing with us. 

08/27/2009 06:39 am
Epilogue         
I was checking my e-mail at work when I saw the e-mail telling me that this story had been up-dated.  I nearly yelled yippee right there in the middle of the department.  What a lovely ending to this story!  It would be absolutely perfect if it weren't for one little problem.  It left me wanting more!  I enjoyed this story so much that I hated to see it come to an end.  Do you think you might want to write a sequel?  If not a sequel, I'll take any spuffy story you care to write.  I love your writing.  You have an awesome talent.  I'm positively greedy - just dying to see more from you.

Robyn
08/27/2009 06:37 am
Epilogue         
What a beautiful ending.  I enjoy the story and loved Dawn's conversation with Buffy at the hospital.  You really managed to show the insight Dawn has of the emotional sides of Spike and Buffy.  Thank you for a beautifully written story, I enjoyed the journey.

BT_
08/27/2009 05:25 am
Epilogue         
You know, I was thinking about this story yesterday. 
I can't tell you how great a read it has been.  Just beautifully done, including this iast bit.  I"m sad it's over, but the ending is perfect.

08/27/2009 04:26 am
Epilogue         
UB - I think I'd like to see Buffy bringing Spike back to the group and making them accept him.  Also, the fact that he doesn't go to the hospital to get Dawn doesn't make much sense - either he should sneak through the sewers (not necessarily let her see him?) or no one should expect him to show up since the sun is out.  Really, just having him wait for Dawn to come home, pacing and worrying and imagining the worst would be sufficient.  The initial part is more telling than showing.   The Dawn/Spike reconciliation is very nice. 

Altogether this is a wonderful story and you should be very proud. 
I've had several requests for that type of scene (involving her friends), and I understand why you want it. But here's the thing ... I don't think that they would accept him so soon. I do think that they tolerate him and treat him civilly, but I don't believe that Buffy or anyone else could force them to enjoy his company. I know that makes this a less-than-perfect ending, but ... what can I say? I don't believe in perfect endings. Life is messy and complicated and very often not perfect. I wrote a version of the epilogue where the Scoobies did accept Spike and Buffy's relationship with him, and it seem very disingenuous. Almost cloying. I guess I'm just a cynic like that.

As for Spike not going to the hospital, the sunlight had little to do with it. He could have gone if he wanted to, but he knew that his presence would make things awkward for Buffy, Dawn, and their friends. He was trying to be unselfish. A lesser reason was that he also felt uncomfortable with the idea of having to arrive in a manner different than the rest of them. The idea of hiding underneath a blanket (or, even as you suggested, coming through the sewers) hurt his pride.

I do agree with you that the writing in the first section could be improved upon. Like I said in the author's note, it's very possible that I will go back and tinker with it. I'm kind of known for doing that.

I'm glad you enjoyed the overall story and I appreciate your taking the time to review it. Thanks!

08/27/2009 04:17 am
Epilogue         
Just got on line tonight for the first time in several days. I'm on a cruise to Alaska, so internet is spotty.  Nothing jumped out at me, and I liked it. Will take another look later and let you know if I find anything.

08/27/2009 02:08 am
Epilogue         
I somehow missed your last update and was happily able to read the last two chapters together. I've follwed this story from beginning to end and loved it ever so.  Thank you so much for sharing your time and talents.

lynnalso
08/26/2009 09:49 pm
Epilogue         
I loved this story from the very first chapter.  Thank you for finishing it; I know it was difficult.  The character development was amazing and it all felt true.

08/26/2009 09:08 pm
Epilogue         
Just perfect!  I wouldn't change a thing.

Love that his girls spent the time with HIM, not where he wasn't welcomed.  That could change with time but for now they made the right choice because I doubt Giles and Xander would have made it anything but uncomfortable.

I can easily see Spike in a dazed state not understanding how he was blessed with all he ever wanted and then some (Dawn's love and his vampiric strengths).  With his history he will likely always be waiting for that shoe to drop but it won't and the part of him that knows that is true is dumbfounded.

This entire story is gold.  Truly one of the masterworks in Buffy fiction.  Every chapter was spot on perfection.  Thank you for telling it and telling it your way.

*hugs*
Kathleen

ya_lublyu_tebya
08/26/2009 08:11 pm
Epilogue         
I'm sad that it's the end, but at the same time so so happy that it ended this way. Loved every word of this, from start to finish!!

08/26/2009 10:02 am
Epilogue         
Big thank you for posting this.  It is a happy ending and I'm thankful for that.  I feel Spike is still unsure of his place with Buffy and Dawn but I'm believe the day will come and when he truly believes he should be there.  Thank you so much for writing this - it's been one hell of a tale

fyreburned (Kara)
08/26/2009 07:39 am
Epilogue         

Thank you so much for this journey! I've been along for the ride on this one since the beginning. I can't tell you how much I've loved and enjoyed it. I'm sad to see it finished, and I'm sure it was hard to bring to a close. It was quite unexpected to see Buffy learn from HER mistakes for a change, but on reflection, kinda good to see it (especially in light of the fact that per the "canon" storylines in the comix, she hasn't learned yet how to treat people, especially lovers, still taking all they'll give, using it up, and giving little to nothing back).
This fic has just been fantastic---it spans so much, is epic. I think learning that home is where the heart truly is, and that it's not EASY, is quite a good lesson for Buffy. For all of the Scoobies, Spike, Dawn, even Giles, all inclusive.  Again, thanks so much, and I hope you continue to write within this fandom still (I did read your latest story posting over @ TSR this a.m!) I'll gladly look forward to any new fics you might have coming up in future, as this one is definitely one of my all-time favorites!
~~Kara
~~fyreburned
fyreburned@yahoo.com

Laura
08/26/2009 07:13 am
Epilogue         
I was so excited to see the last chapter.
I enjoyed your story very much

Goddess Hecate
08/26/2009 06:46 am
Epilogue         
What an incredible journey, UB.  Thank you so much for taking us on it.  Your work is brilliant and my only sadness is that now I won't be able to look forward to your chapter updates.  Thank you so, so much for sharing your talent!

08/10/2009 11:08 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Thanks! This must be one of the most wonderful fanfics ever! Please write a sequel? Please please please?

BT_
08/08/2009 10:29 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
You haven't abandoned this, have you?  Please come back - it's one of my favorites!

Taylor
07/17/2009 04:24 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Is there going to be more?

I can't stand to think that it's just going to end like that. And it has been half a year since your last update.

Which, granted, I have experience with. I have an unfinished story or two I'm looooooooooong overdue on. I'm just hoping you haven't abandoned this. Because it's truly a beautiful thing.

Beautiful.

TheLadyBlackDove
07/11/2009 04:54 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
....My God.

I found this fic on ff.net. I was just looking around, trying to find something good to occupy my time. This story is AMAZING. I'm not A Spuffy shipper, but this work has certainly kept my attention, so much so that I've fallen in love with it. I can't wait for another update!

06/18/2009 03:06 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
That's just an 'eek' moment right there

Doni
06/05/2009 11:09 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Read this awhile back, but just felt I had to tell you how much I've enjoyed this story!  It's so touching and beautifully written.  Thank you!

06/03/2009 07:33 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
 Agh! just found your fic and i'm in LOVE! Hope for an update soon!

moi
04/25/2009 03:30 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
I'm starting to hate you.... And I think you know why..

03/24/2009 08:28 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         

Doni
03/18/2009 07:11 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
A couple months late coming to this one, but can't seem to find the chapter.  Has it been taken down?

dafdfaea
03/12/2009 03:18 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
missing your stuff already!

03/02/2009 06:16 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
any chance of an update? I'm totally addicted to your story, every word, every thought, every character is so real. I hope it isn't left unfinished!

Athena
02/19/2009 07:16 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
I've been addicted to this story for weeks now; your writing is as delicious as your concepts -- which is often something that you can't say about many writers and their works (whether amateur or professional). Well done. I'm admittedly more of an Angel fan than a Spike fan, but it definitely made me reevaluate the latter character. He's certainly got some layers under those cheekbones, doesn't he?

In any case, I do hope that there is more coming of this wonderful story soon. Cliffhangers are always hard to bear as a reader. But I hope, whatever it is that you're doing on the late night that I'm leaving this comment on, that you continue writing and producing beautiful things for the public at large. You are certainly gifted in more ways than one.

01/29/2009 01:58 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Well I transferred from FF.net to here just to read this story and I'm glad I did. ^_^ Please update soon.

~Cat

Sizheng
01/28/2009 01:00 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Ah... wow.  Seriously, I've been sobbing on and off like a baby from the moment Buffy got pulled back to the future.  *snickers*  It's kinda ridiculous. 

A very enjoyable story.  Sweet blend of angst and romance and just something that makes me feel endlessly wistful for _my_ chap.  Yanno?  It really touched me.

I look forward to the next installment.



Thalia Mahler
01/23/2009 07:30 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
This story is fantastic. I discovered it this september and literally spent days in front of my computer reading.  I love how you combined the history about Spike that was revealed on the show, without it getting in the way of your story at all. I'll be checking back often, hoping you find the time to put another chapter up.
Thanks.

01/14/2009 06:05 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
beautifully done! very good read, thank you. chapter ending was not what i anticipated so, even more enjoyable.

01/09/2009 04:29 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
So, the dishes and the laundry around my house are piling up like crazy cause I started reading this epic and couldn't do anything else until I read every word.  This story is simply beautiful.  I can't even count the number of times my chest physically hurt because of the angst going on here.  Your portrayal of Spike from William up through the present is so heartwrenching, I've never come so near to tears while reading.  And this last chapter, his pleas when he thinks Buffy's returning his ring ... wow!  I'll be checking every day for updates, I cannot wait to read more!

kckrzys@yahoo.com
01/08/2009 05:37 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
wow ive finally caught up to this story. ill think about what to say to you. I cant wait for the next chapter!! Perhaps when i get a new tablet you will have requested some art from me? (http://pryanima.deviantart.com/)

12/28/2008 08:10 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
OMG!!! 

I can't wait for the next chapter!

Rose
12/22/2008 09:35 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
I love this scene. It's perfect; passionate and such a fitting proposal. I saw your story a while ago, but refrained from reading it because I don't usually like time travel fics. But going back to read it turned out to be a very smart decision. This is one of the best fanfictions I have ever read!

12/22/2008 06:14 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Oh, you SCARED me!!!  I thought for sure she was going to tell him that was it, it was over!  Thank GOD!!!!!  Awesome chapter as always; Spike is hurting my heart in all the best ways; can't wait to see what happens next!

Lal08
12/15/2008 10:59 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
You can't stop here, plese don't torment us

12/09/2008 02:50 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Phew! What an ending and what a beautifully conceived, wonderfully written and completely addictive epic!
There are so many moments, characterizations and elements to thank you for and congratulate you on I don't know where to start.
Suffice to say there is a very large FtTP sized hole in my life that will remain until you update so I hope that is coming very soon!
Thanks for sharing your great talent with us!

12/08/2008 01:36 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
As usual, flawless chapter ending. No one else delivers perfect one-liners the way you do.

lulu
12/07/2008 06:20 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
OMG!  I am so happy to have an update to my very favorite fanfic!  Thank you so much!

12/06/2008 10:51 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Caught me totally off-guard with that ending.  You are a brilliant, outrageously talented, evil genius.  I love it!  So happy to have you back. 

12/05/2008 03:40 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
I'm glad you took a different take than where it seemed you were going earlier in the chapter. Wow!

12/05/2008 04:38 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Wonderful chapter.  Buffy finally gets a clue and Xander is positively helpful.  Whew.

12/05/2008 01:34 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
You have such a wicked way with a cliffhanger. But I forgive you, because your Buffy characters are so much in character, and because you drag me through every emotion every one of them is feeling (even when I don't WANT to feel empathy for thems as Angel!), and make me see and hear everything as if it were an episode of Buffy itself....

I'm holding my breath for the next chapter because... well, he could ask her and she might say yes, but what happens if she does and he screws up again? What happens if he refuses to ask? *sob* I so want it all to be all right, not only for William but for Spike as well.

TwilightChild
12/04/2008 10:25 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
AWEOME!

  Gotta say, I absolutely loved Xander's suddenly "...short."  I was sitting on a school library computer and had a small burst of hysteria that I quickly silenced after the staring.

  I was practically trembling as much as Spike, constantly wondering which direction Buffy was going to go in. 

Katherine
12/04/2008 09:31 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Oh my!!!  I get so emotionally involved in the stories I read and this story in particular has taken me on an emotional roller coaster.  I was so sad for Spike.  He's trying so hard and everything keeps going wrong!  I was really expecting a horribly sad ending to this chappie, so I was sooooooooo excited to see Buffy's simple, "Ask me."  Now I have hope that maybe Spike will get the love he really deserves in the end.  OOOH!!!!  I can't wait for the next update!!!  Please don't keep us waiting!

Bridget
12/04/2008 12:13 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Wow you totally surprised me with this ending.  My heart was breaking for Spike and now I have hope that maybe their relationship will work out.  Please update soon..   

JJ
12/03/2008 10:59 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
It was a long wait...but damn it was worth it. Well written!! And the ending....omg you're so evil!

12/03/2008 10:00 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         

That was fabulously agonising - and then the stunning ending.  Superlative writing.

holly
12/03/2008 09:52 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Wow, I so did not see that coming! Wonderful!! So wonderful and just adored the ending of this chapter Very eager to see what happens next!!

12/03/2008 07:09 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         

OH MY GOD!! That came out of nowhere. I was just about to have my heart broken and then bam! Brilliant brilliant stuff. Please don't leave us hanging too long.

m.
12/03/2008 06:38 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
O. My. God. I have been waiting for an update, and this was well worth the wait! Every word you write is meaningful and moves the story forward, it's not just fluff or just angst. Your writing has always been fantastic! I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Thank  you so much for this update!

12/03/2008 05:57 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
It is so interesting how you connected their mutual culpability, how Buffy's own selfish desires played as much on William as his own capability perhaps to Love Too Much, to be consumed by his need to love and connected.  And while their actions in William's London life chained him to his new life as Spike/William, Buffy also help set William free from his social chains; wonderful connections.  His strength, I think does come from his great capacity to love but it also serves as a doubled sided blade.  Just as Buffy's devotion to her duties as The Slayer is her great strength and weakness.  

Dawn and Angel serving as guides was so effective and a wonderful part of the story.  Plus, how you bring in Xander and Anya having to live with some of the same problems, again, excellent. 

Not sure if you plan to bring in any of William/Spike and his early struggles to keep Buffy and the life their shared together as part of the story, probably you are not, but I loved that part of his story - thought it was beautiful and heartbreaking what his Dark Princess did to him.

silverwolf
12/03/2008 04:20 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
would you be mine? could you be mine? won't you be my neighbor? 

lol.  this really made my day.

Tina
12/03/2008 02:14 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
OH MY! You tricked me.I really thought this is going to be sad and bad and destructive and then...."Ask me." I never expected this.Wow.Phew.

Okay,breathing back to normal...Please update asap!!!

12/03/2008 01:26 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
YES!!!!!   Great chapter boy you had me going until the very end!  Great job!  Can't wait for MORE!!!!!

12/03/2008 12:25 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
AAAAAHhhhhhhh OMG OMG, sorry not very constructive but aaarrrgggghhhh need more

12/03/2008 12:01 pm
Chapter Sixty-Six         
This was lovely.

12/03/2008 11:45 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Oh my Lord, its about time she got it right.  She had better grab hold of him with both hands.  Thanks for the update.

12/03/2008 08:03 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
OMG! I was so ready to be ticked off at you - and then you go and write the most wonderful end to this chapter. So glad to see this fic continuing... and with some hope for our fave couple in the near future.

12/03/2008 07:32 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
More later, but I just had to say this: I laughed out loud when Xander called him short.  I think you know why

12/03/2008 07:29 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Yes, I stayed awake to read it.  And yes, I'm crying my eyes out...and hyperventilating a little.

12/03/2008 07:29 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Yes, I stayed awake to read it.  And yes, I'm crying my eyes out...and hyperventilating a little.

12/03/2008 07:27 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Well just...blow my mind, why don't you!  Gah!  Kill me, why don't you? 

I didn't know what the hell you were doing--I thought she was going to stake him, or make him leave, or...she was all with the nerves and...

And you, with the...well, let's just say, you were being way silly, my friend.  Good show

(side note:  Sorry for the lame review--it's late and my brain's been fried for weeks.  Be happy this is coherent, I think.)

12/03/2008 06:59 am
Chapter Sixty-Six         
Hurray!  A new chapter!  I haven't even read it yet, but I was so excited that I had to leave you a happy face immediately! 

barn & co
07/11/2009 01:48 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
 is eagerly awaiting a new chapter!


Belle
11/21/2008 06:08 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
SUCH a good chapter!! Poor Spike! Update soon!

Lal08
11/13/2008 09:30 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
I just read this chapter, as always great writing. But you can't stop here, it is such a cliffhanger)))

Messiah
11/01/2008 03:52 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
No matter how many times I click on the drop down menu, chapter sixty-six just won't show up.... *cries*

Marie
10/28/2008 10:15 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Great story!  I really like it and can't wait to read the next chapter

Messiah
10/26/2008 05:45 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
OMG you MUST update before I get tired of waiting and you lose a good fan!!

*crosses fingers and hopes that threat works*

and now that I read this chapter again, I realize what a good job you did with Buffy.. She ACTUALLY is that stupid... She's so ignorant it's annoying...
oooh... you should also make up some kinky  love for Dawn, too.. she needs snugglez too!

Gaila
10/25/2008 04:41 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
i started reading your story on fanfiction and followed the link on your profile to here. please hurry with your updates! your story is wonderful and extremely interesting.

10/24/2008 11:35 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
I absolutely can't wait for your next update!!!!! I'm on the edge of my seat, just hoping that everything will be okay!

BT_
10/17/2008 03:05 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
So - HOW did I miss an update???  Silly me.
Poor Buffy, so conflicted.  So blind and stubborn.  Maybe Dawn has shaken some sense into her though. 
I do feel for Spike too - he's tried so hard and has made such a mess and he's miserable. 
Your writing is just amazing, by the way - the characters are spot-on, plot is plausible and the descriptions are great.
I"ll try not to miss the next one!

Tina
10/11/2008 03:19 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
I so love your story!
I never reviewed before,I'm sorry for that.But I can still state that you're a good writer and I can't wait for you to continue this story.
You will continue it,won't you?


10/01/2008 01:12 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
*claps hands happily*  yeah, update!!!  Amazing chapter; love that Dawn spoke with Buffy in an adult fashion; she always has the best insights into Spike's character, and I hope what she had to say has an effect on Buffy; can't wait to see what happens next!! 

09/30/2008 08:06 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
perhaps dawn's comments will penetrate? very good read, thank you.

lulu
09/27/2008 07:37 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Thank you for updating!  This is the best fanfic EVER!

09/27/2008 03:54 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
 A lot of really important points were made here by many characters - I particularly liked Angel's grudging respect of Spike because he couldn't be broken, and his unease with the fact that now he was.

And even though it's not a good idea at all, I appreciate the fact that Willow is coming around on the Spike front and actually thought about sending Buffy back so she could be happy again.

09/26/2008 05:23 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Another beautifully written chapter.  Looks like Angel has matured a lot in the time he's been in L.A.  I can't believe how thoughtful and honest he's being here - perhaps Cordy has been a positive influence.  I love his begruding affection for Spike. As for Dawn, she's a sharp little thing - sees more and more clearly than she's usually given credit for.  I loved the intensity and honesty of the dialogue between she and Buffy.  Very skillfully drawn conflict and  nicely illustrated Buffy's inner turmoil. All of the scoobies were very much in character.  I really like how you had all of them expressing a somewhat reluctant sympathy for Buffy's situation and even for Spike himself.  In short,  you handle these characters brilliantly and always leave me anxious for more.  I have a feeling that we're headed for Africa, but I'm sure that the journey will be full of unexpected twists and turns.  I can hardly wait to what direction you will take us in next.

09/25/2008 06:55 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Excellent new chapters - this is such a wonderful story -  really like your treatment of Angel /Angelus - nice to have him so mature and honest - Funny how the two most mature of your character in these chapters are the old vampire and the young girl -makes for a nice touch - Buffy, poor thing, can be such a a foolish woman -

09/25/2008 03:59 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Ahhhhh!  I can't take it anymore   I'm dying.  I swear, I'm dying...


Miss. Onyx
09/25/2008 03:54 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Great chapter....it feels like you're setting up something big! ^_^

09/25/2008 03:37 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Dawn is too smart for her own good.  How can dummy Buffy stand it. 

Liked the argument between Willow and Xander, comparing what they would do if Anya or Tara went off the rails and that Xander didn't have an answer, but he has plenty of answers for Buffy.

I'm not so sure that Buffy wouldn't have a longer than normal lifetime if she survived slaying.  She could probably lay some promise on Spike if she died, like she did in S5 - by making him promise to take care of Dawn, he was prevented from killing himself or going on a rampage.

09/24/2008 07:54 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         

I love this story - I never have a clue where you're taking us from one chapter to another, that's part of its allure!  Looking forward till next time.

Bridget
09/24/2008 05:56 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Thank you for the update I do appreciate it and I like your story.  I am so tired of self righteous Buffy.  I am glad that Dawn spoke to her like she did but who knows if she will ever engage in any self reflection.  Please update soon.

athena606
09/24/2008 05:32 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
I hope this buffy stops floating across the De Nile long enough to realize that she needs to help Spike be self assured and secure in her love so that they can have a relationship. Not mention take Communication 101 since she is even less expressive here than she was on the show.

09/24/2008 02:53 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Loved all of Dawn's argument and the talk of the Scoobies Wilow, Xander, and Tara. I admit Spike isn't perfect and even William wasn't perfect, but I am sort of upset with Buffy. Honestly, she did spend way too much time telling Spike he did things wrong and that he was feeling the wrong things, and avoided all responsibility for trying to show him how to be better instead of just scolding him. But how can Buffy ever have really loved Spike/William if she wants to change him but keep the parts where he adores and loves and is totally devoted to her? If she doesn't love who he is but who she wants him to be, then that is also an unhealthy, destructive kind of love.

June
09/24/2008 02:49 pm
Chapter Sixty-Five         
I thought angel was shown well in this chapter without trying to make readers who don't like him actually like him. Dawn was perfect in her role of Spike's friend and Buffy's sister and astute teenager who's seen too much pain. I'm glad she was there and had the courage to yell back at Buffy.
Something that has been bothering me since Buffy returned to the present was how the future had changed, with Angelus and with how Spike dealt with Buffy and I really hope we later have Buffy hear about some things or see some things instead of glossing over it. Maybe it won't make a huge difference in actions, but hearing motivations and thoughts and feelings were different at different times could change things.
Good chapter adn I hope to see more.

09/24/2008 10:29 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
Another stunning chapter.  Buffy is so determined to think the worst of Spike, despite Angel's surprising honesty and Dawn's perceptive arguments, I have little hope that she'll admit she she might be wrong about something.  I've lost any sympathy I had for her.

09/24/2008 05:16 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
"'I guess I just don’t like broken things anymore,' he said quietly."

Dude, I love, love, LOVE Angel and Dawn so much in this fic.  I think that sentence sums up Spike in Part 3 of this fic, as well as s6.  Also, I think Willow and Xander are a tad forgetful--Tara almost did get them killed.  "Family" still happened here before the forward to time past part of this story, right?

Damn, there was something else...I don't see why it's so hard for her to see reason.  She was living in this stupor of denial since she'd been back, and when Spike's mistake finally forced her to look reality in the face, she blamed it all on him.  Dawn's right--that's what children do.  A woman would own up to her own mistakes as well and try to make it right, not lay the blame at one person's feet and then shut them out.  I don't think she really loves him, unfortunately.  And if she does, I don't think she deserves his.

Whatever--you never lost it!  Great  chapter

09/24/2008 05:10 am
Chapter Sixty-Five         
oh boy oh boy oh boy!!!!!!!!!!  Get your head out of your wazoo!!!!  Man oh man!  Please update soon!!!!!!

Taylor
07/17/2009 03:11 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
My heart just leaped out of my chest, a little bit, at Angel's last words.


The intensity is freaking palpable.

12/05/2008 03:00 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Yay! An insightful Angel!

This-Family-Affair
11/30/2008 04:24 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         

Jeeze! Took me long enough to realize something was up with this. I'm trying to catch up, now. I just had to drop in and say I love: "if Spike wants his soul back…if he’s actually trying to find a way to retrieve it…that pretty much says he doesn’t need it in the first place." Love that bit!

CalmintheChaos
10/24/2008 11:18 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Wow, that last line...blew my mind. I was surprised when Spike went to Angel. I hate that he can't help him, not even tell him about the other demon he gets his soul from in the series? But as you already know, I love every word!

10/10/2008 05:24 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         

HUH?!?

Deb
09/17/2008 03:38 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Never thought that I'd like Angel  in a scene, but you've proved me wrong.  Love that he's here not wanting to support Spike, but finding himself doing so regardless of his feelings. Great chapter.  Thanks for updating.  As always, this is one of my favorite fics in the Buffy genre.  Have fun writing!
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you like the new update as well.

Lal08
09/15/2008 09:36 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
I started to read this story in fanfic.net. Then saw that you updated it on this site faster. It is epic and beatiful and so well written... You have put in French, German, Italian, Latin. How, I got no idea. You are well versed in "British" english and how Victorians would speak. I am utterly amazed at how much work has put in to this story. Absolutely amazing... It is by far one of the best Buffy/Spike stories I have ever read...

I can't tell you how flattered I am by your review. It's wonderful to know that you think so highly of my writing. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know.

09/14/2008 10:17 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
WOW.

For the first time, I actually LIKE Angel. Amazing.
lol. Poor Angel. He does have a few good qualities. Thanks for the review!

Winchester Hemery
09/14/2008 07:52 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Yey !  I really like the interaction between Buffy and Angel. Very good chapter, Thank you !
Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

09/14/2008 02:19 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
very good read, thank you. enjoyed the concept of claims as myth and loved angel's chapter ending line.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

deborahc
09/13/2008 05:02 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
I honestly can't remember how much of this story I've read in the past. I'd thought I was up to date with it but as I read the new chapter I realized I have no idea how Buffy got back from Victorian London, let alone how Dawn ended up nearly eviserated. 

But seeing as I have read the new chapter I wanted to quickly pop in and Thank You for the claim twist. I love it.  I'm one of those whose eyes involuntarily roll when a story I'm enjoying turns out to have Buffy and/or Spike claimed. It's just not my thing. And because, as I said, I was disorientated in the new chapter, I wasn't sure whether I hadn't previously read as far as Spike claiming Buffy or if I'd dropped this story because of it. But now that I know that the claim turns out to be bogus I'm definitely going back to re-read. 

Looking forward to catching up, and thank you for continuing the story.
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that you came back to the story! The "claim" was always intended to be a red herring and not genuine, but the problem with posting a WIP is that readers had to wait a few updates before finding that out. I hope that you enjoy rereading the story, if you decide to. Thanks so much for taking the time to review it.

09/13/2008 02:20 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
This was so worth the wait. This small part particularly touched me: Her hungry, lovesick Victorian. Because that's exactly what he was all those years ago and he was just desperately in love with her...

Angel's appearance at the hospital... Interesting about claims not existing, because that means that what Buffy is feeling is real, thus not manufactured by a mystical vampire myth. And, of course, his wise last phrase is a truth that merits some thoughts on her end.

You cited my most favorite line. Thank you!

09/12/2008 04:12 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
“The fact is…if Spike wants his soul back…if he’s actually trying to find a way to retrieve it…that pretty much says he doesn’t need it in the first place.”

I am in TEARS reading this! (and you thought your muse had left you?) Oh, poor Spike. Your writing is brilliant. Characters so real I can see and hear and hurt for them. *sob*
It's so flattering to realize that my writing can spark that much emotion in a reader. Thanks for letting me know. ((hugs))

09/11/2008 07:45 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Wonderful chapter and the last line to me just really says it all. Thank you so much for this story and of course can't wait till next update!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. I was a little nervous posting it, because I was just getting over an incredible bout of writer's block, so I really appreciate your taking the time to review.

Angie
09/11/2008 01:56 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
I never thought I would say this but YOU GO ANGEL!!! I loved the last line.  What a great story1!!!
Thank you! I'm so happy you think so.

sirc
09/11/2008 12:00 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
It was surprising to hear Angel defend Spike and be the voice of reason when he was talking to Buffy, but I'm glad that someone other than Dawn got him. That, at last, someone other than Dawn is on Spike's side and attempting to overrule the bullshit that lies, misunderstandings, self-deceit and stubbornness has piled together on the Scoobies.

I love how someone is telling Buffy that Spike doesn't need a soul renewal - even better that that someone is Angel himself, soul-bearer extraordinaire.

Personally, I've never liked souled Spike, he wasn't all himself anymore. That is one of the many reasons I have never watched season 7 or why I don't read fic featuring that season or that version of our bloodsucker.

Great chapter.
I liked souled Spike (I like any Spike, lol), but I didn't see the soul as being necessary to his character development. And the way the writing staff went about getting it for him...well, that entire arc pissed me off just a bit. I'm glad you're enjoying my own take on his redemption. Thanks for letting me know.

Nell
09/11/2008 07:56 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
 Your story is always brilliant, but this portrayal of Angel is especially good. It avoids completely all of the fanfiction characterizations and cuts right back to how he was on the serious episodes of the show. And that is the single best why-Spike-is-fine-without-a-soul explanation I've ever read (and I've read'em all). Perfect!
The single best explanation you've read? *happy sigh* I think that's the nicest thing anyone could have said about this chapter. Thank you.

IT
09/11/2008 06:54 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Awesome update.  I'd love to write more, but I'm taking a break from studying and have to get back to it.  Thanks for the wonderful escape from reality.  Back to the books now.... 
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Good luck with the studying.

09/11/2008 06:04 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
The comment down there that starts with this:

"AAAAAAHHH!  You are killing me!  I can't take any more suspense.  I'm all tense "

was me not logged in
I knew it was you just by the way it was written.

09/11/2008 06:03 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
AAAAAAHHH!  You are killing me!  I can't take any more suspense.  I'm all tense

Okay, just had to get that out   Awesome chapter.  Many revelations on Buffy's part.  Angel being level-headed.  I like how you're using him in the story.  I'll write more thoughts later.  I'm too wound up right now...

UB is BACK!

09/11/2008 05:12 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
“The fact is…if Spike wants his soul back…if he’s actually trying to find a way to retrieve it…that pretty much says he doesn’t need it in the first place.”

Praise Jeebus--finally the voice of reason!  Thank you Angel for showing up and not holding back!  Thank you for forcing Buffy to face certain truths (Oh, Spike claimed me--bah!).

And this was great!!  Your writing is great! Tell self-conscious "you" to piss off, mmkay?
Aw, thank you! If I could, I'd kick self-conscious me right in the arse. Unfortunately, we share the same arse, so it just wouldn't work out properly. Ah, well...

Miss. Onyx
09/11/2008 05:08 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Dear UB,
Thank you for making your Angel not be a total F**ktard. He is so often portrayed this way in stories, and it accomplished nothing except to piss me, and the other characters in the story off quite a lot.

P.S: You are awesome

Sincerely,
Miss. Onyx ^_^
F*cktard. Hee. I love this word. Hubby and I have officially adopted it as our own. Thank you. 

09/11/2008 04:54 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
I'm awed, amazed and overwhelmed by this - it's  that powerful.  That last line (especially considering that it's coming from Angel of all people) just blew me away.

My computer was stolen just before Thanksgiving last year, and I didn't get a replacement until this past July.  One of the first things I did once I was able to get back online again was to catch up with this fic.  This is absolutely riveting stuff.  This is how the series should have gone.  I mean this fic feels more like canon than some of the actual series episodes do.  I hope I'm making sense here. 

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you've got an amazing talent and I'm delighted that you're sharing it with us. 
Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your computer; I had wondered where you'd gone to. It's nice to see you again--and even nicer to hear that you're still enjoying the story. Thank you! 

09/11/2008 04:37 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
AAAAAAHHH!  You are killing me!  I can't take any more suspense.  I'm all tense

Okay, just had to get that out   Awesome chapter.  Many revelations on Buffy's part.  Angel being level-headed.  I like how you're using him in the story.  I'll write more thoughts later.  I'm too wound up right now...

UB is BACK!
Oh, don't worry. You won't *die.* I plan to bring you just to the brink of death ... and then the story will end. Yep. That's the plan. :nod:

09/11/2008 01:23 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Hope you're feeling better.  Thanks so much for this wonderfully enlightening chapter! I hope you'll be able to have more for us soon.
I am feeling better, thank you so much for asking. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

09/11/2008 01:01 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Babe what were you worried about???? 

Somehow you have done the impossible...made me love, love Angel.  He is being honest and grown up, well reasoned and fair.

<i>To him, the right thing is doing what he thinks you want him to do. Doing what he thinks will help you. He’s always going to believe that, and he’s always going to make mistakes. He’s always going to struggle—”</i> That's it in a nutshell...Spike's morality is whatever Buffy wants or needs is good.

Then the coup de gras (okay I can't spell) with some home truths
<i>"The thing is…people who have souls hurt other people all the time. They rape and kill each other; they start wars. Some of them struggle with morality the same way he has, and they do it for their whole lives."</i>  Buffy and her soul obsession is OLD and stupid.  It was on the show and in fiction...she saw too much to buy into that crap.  GILES couldn't really believe it not if he was conscious his entire life at any rate.

Amazingly enough he hits the nail on the head here.
<i>“The fact is…if Spike wants his soul back…if he’s actually trying to find a way to retrieve it…that pretty much says he doesn’t need it in the first place.”</i>

Buffy needs to really own her part in all of this.  She's starting to in a way but she needs to fully own it and make Giles see it too because that will be vital I think.  Giles needs to know of this development especially as he cannot seem to see the differences between Angel (and more importantly Angelus, killer of Jenny) and Spike and they are there in spades.

This is a fabulous chapter.  Lots of food for Buffy's (and Giles I hope) to think on while Spike is off chasing a soul.  I know he'll wind up in Africa, it is fated.

I am glad the claim is a myth.  I don't mind claim stories, truly there are several I love, adore and cherish but this one is better without them.  Spike would have heard the myth though (hey he chased the mythical Gem of Amarra!) and seen it as worth a try.

Hope Dawn wakes soon and drives a few truths home as well.  Buffy lazing about while Spike was clearly doing something that was damaging him in order to provide for her makes her as big a bad guy in his plan as what he did and SHE had a soul.

Wonderful, excellent and perfectly written as always.

Kathleen
You always make me feel so much better about myself. (((hugs)))

I think my main problem was that I fiddled with this chapter far too long. The more I edited and rewrote, the less capable I became of gauging its quality. In the end, the entire thing just seemed like a mess to me. I'm so incredibly glad that it doesn't seem that way to the rest of you. Someday, maybe I'll actually be brave enough to go back and reread it, and see for myself.

09/11/2008 12:32 am
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Good to see you back in the saddle, and in such powerful form.  Nonstop turmoil for Buffy, she's taken this so badly.  Angel's reaction is intriguing.  Well done
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

09/10/2008 11:40 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
OH.....MY......FREAKIN.....GAWD

First of all, soooo wonderful to see an update from you; I LOVE this story, and it just gets better and better.

Two, The fact is…if Spike wants his soul back…if he’s actually trying to find a way to retrieve it…that pretty much says he doesn’t need it in the first place.  Truer words were NEVER spoken.  And Bless you for having ANGEL, of all people, say them.

And Three.  THANK GOD for the UPDATE!!!!  LOL!!!  BRAVO!!!
I'm so happy to know that you didn't lose hope (or interest) during the long delay between updates. Hopefully, that period of writer's block is over now. Thanks so much for the review.

timeofchange
09/10/2008 10:42 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
I've been following this story for a long time, and with every new chapter I feel more respect for you as a writer.  You have held control of such a complicated plot.  You've keep the characters consistent, and held onto the internal logic of the story.  It's really impressive.
Thank you so much! When I started writing this story, I never intended for it to be so long and complicated, so it's a relief to know that I managed to keep things under control without much planning.

09/10/2008 09:03 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
it so wonderful to have this update - great new chapter.  I feel so sorry for all of them - everyone had their own "Good Intentions" that  all worked out so very wrong.  Love how you are making Buffy see her own part in all this -

Hope that you can bring us new parts again very soon.  I LOVE this story - Plus, I really like how you have brought in the idea that the claim can be a myth among vampires - nice twist.
Thank you! It took me so long to get this chapter written and posted, I was afraid everyone might have lost interest in it. I think my bout with writer's block is over now, thank goodness, so the next update should be posted in a reasonable amount of time.

TwilightChild
09/10/2008 08:02 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
  Wonderful and brilliant.  I love it.  I have to admit, I especially love the 'Claim is a fable' part.  It always seemed like such a cop-out to me. 

  And what Angel said is true.  If he wants his soul so bad, he's already on the path to learning right and wrong.  He doesn't need a shiny bauble soul like a badge to prove it.


Yeah, claims aren't really my "thing" either, although I know a lot of respected authors use them in their stories. I'm glad you liked the update. Thanks so much for taking the time to review it.

ya_lublyu_tebya
09/10/2008 08:01 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
Well put, Angel. Wonder if he'll actually be able to get through to her. And very interesting twist on the claim idea. A great update and I look forward to the next.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Goodness knows, it took me long enough to write ...

Bridget
09/10/2008 07:45 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
I am glad you updated this story.  I am disappointed in Buffy's reaction to everything but it is not surprising.  She doesn't listen very well and is quick to blame Spike for his shortcomings.  She alludes to the fact that she is upset with Giles because of his stupid scheme but she can still sit and talk with him while blaiming Spike.  You have done an excellent job showing Buffy and Angel's weariness.  Please don't take three months for the next update.  I know that life gets in the way but this is a great story.
I will definitely do my best to update quickly from now on. I'm sorry it took me so long to post a new chapter. Thanks for not losing interest during the interim.

09/10/2008 07:26 pm
Chapter Sixty-Four         
YEA!!!!!  I am so glad you updated!   thank you thank you thank you!   Great Chapter!  I LOVED IT!!!!!
Thank you!. I was actually really nervous posting this chapter. Ever since my concussion, I've been struggling with a massive case of writer's block. I think I rewrote this chapter at least half a dozen times. It's a relief to know that you enjoyed it.

sirc
09/11/2008 11:26 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Great chapter!
Thank you!

holly
08/27/2008 04:15 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
I just discovered this story and I'm beyond addicted to it...It's amazing..they way you cover things mentioned in the show and the transition from William to Spike is perfect...can't wait for more!
Thank you! I'm a big fan of William, so exploring his transformation into Spike was a lot of fun for me. I'm happy to know that you enjoyed reading about it.

cheryl
08/11/2008 03:15 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Update coming soon - please?!
Your wish is granted. Sorry for the delay!

Arielle
07/07/2008 07:28 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
OMG.... It's been almost like.. A YEAR!!

*bangs head on keyboard*

I still come here everyday and wait.. and watch.. for something... an update...
I'm so, so sorry about the long delay between updates. I suffered a head injury while horseback riding and that put me behind. I hope you haven't abandoned the story. (((hugs)))

TwilightChild
06/17/2008 10:59 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
  Absolutely amazing!  And Spike coming to Angel of all people?  Very unexpected.  Can't wait to see what that brings.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

TwilightChild
06/17/2008 10:58 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
  Absolutely amazing!  And Spike coming to Angel of all people?  Very unexpected.  Can't wait to see what that brings.

Arielle
06/17/2008 05:06 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Lemme guess... He's gonna help him get his soul back?

Seriously, girl!! You should become an editor/story writer in films and TV!!! You have some serious talent that should NOT be wasted! Nowadays the stories in TV and movies are complete CRAP made just to get money. You could be getting money and making great story lines!
Take Smallville for instance. When it started it was OK but now it has gone sooo far downhill that it is just horrible. Season 6 & 7 are both editing massacres! But now it's popular so they can make absolute shit and people still like it.... Just think, you could control the world with your writing. If you make movies where all they drink is Mountain Dew, everybody who saw that film will drink Mountain Dew!

Wow, I am just incredibly flattered by your review. I've been AWOL on and off for the past couple of months, and this was such a nice surprise to return to. Thank you so much for the support. I really appreciate it more than I can say.

06/14/2008 07:20 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
I'm finally catching up on this story.  I loved this last chapter.  Lot's of emotion and I loved the ending.  Can't wait for the next chapter!
lol. Well, I'm finally catching up on answering my reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I'm sorry there was such a delay in posting the new one.

06/13/2008 11:01 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Lots of powerful things happened in this chapter.  I just hope that Buffy and Spike can see their way through things.
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

06/13/2008 09:27 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
buffy really needs to blend her thoughts,emotions,needs and feelings into a coherent whole. spike is really in bad shape if he needs angel's help. very good read, thank you.
I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you for the review.

06/13/2008 07:41 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Gee wizz how fantastic is this!
Ive been away from the community for a while and i came back to 6 new chapters and im extatic about the way you are taking this!

Bravo!
Thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed it.

06/13/2008 05:21 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
 Oh, wow. I hardly know what to review here since this was such an intense chapter. I just knew Buffy would badger Dawn at the hospital... how could she not?

And Spike's rage and demon-destruction was very well written. Buffy leaving him just about broke my heart.

Spike seeking out Angel for help really means he's at his wit's end. Poor Spike.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope the long wait for a new one hasn't dampened your enthusiasm for the story. I always like reading your thoughts.

06/13/2008 01:03 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
The quality of mercy is still not Buffy - excellent chapter.  Can't wait to see what Angel will do.  Will he help Spike get Buffy back? 
No, sadly Buffy still has a lot to learn in that department. But at least she's not beating the crap out of him in a filthy alley. Thanks for the review!

KAMLA
06/12/2008 07:59 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
I LOVE THIS FREAKIN STORY!!
I'm flattered to know that you feel that way. Thank you!

mise
06/12/2008 05:31 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         

woo!!! another chapter.......i love this story!!! woo i always get excited when i read your stories!! oh!! I hou dont turn this all around on buffy like authors seem to do often!! but yay!!! new chapter........thanks

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

06/12/2008 03:34 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Dint like the Angel thing in the story.. why people always have to bring him up? anyway, I hope the story keeps good, even with Spike asking Angel for help./.......
I'm sorry you dislike Angel. I think the reason writers utilize his character in their stories is because he is an integral part of Spike's past, but I know that doesn't always mean he's likeable. Thanks for the review.

jess2357
06/12/2008 02:41 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Interesting. What, exactly, could our antihero be looking for from the great brooder himself? Can't wait to find out in the next thrilling installment of forward to time past.
Thank you! I just hope the long wait between updates didn't make you change your mind about that.

06/12/2008 01:50 pm
Chapter Sixty-Three         
I love this story so much.  Even though my worst fears are often confirmed, I can't wait to read each update.  This chapter didn't disappoint!  Hopefully Angel will give Spike some purpose; as it is, he's almost beyond help. I suppose it's something Buffy realises how shortsighted she's been,  but my heart aches for Spike.

Keeping creatures in vile conditions for what they can yield?  Take a look at your supermarket eggs!
Keeping creatures in vile conditions for what they can yield?  Take a look at your supermarket eggs! And that is exactly where the inspiration for the breeder demon came from ... I think you're the first reader who made a connection between it and the agriculture industry.  Thanks so much for the review!

ya_lublyu_tebya
06/12/2008 10:18 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Oh wow. That was a heartwrenching chapter. Wonder what he expects Angel to do. I'm just glad the Poof didn't close the door on him - him being so very desperate right now is not good.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for taking the time to review. (((hugs)))

Deb
06/12/2008 09:59 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Another hauntingly brilliant chapter.  He's pretty desperate if he's going to Angel. 
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

pearlseed
06/12/2008 09:16 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
At least Dawn is true blue odie colonie--Willow was nice in last chapter and maybe Giles can mitigate some of the meaness.  Buffy doesn't deserve herself she is so mortally fouled up.  More  please with some joy if you have any just laying around.

pearlseed
06/12/2008 09:15 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
At least Dawn is true blue odie colonie--Willow was nice in last chapter and maybe Giles can mitigate some of the meaness.  Buffy doesn't deserve herself she is so mortally fouled up.  More  please with some joy if you have any just laying around.
Joy? I dunno ... I am an angst whore after all. But I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the review!

IT
06/12/2008 07:46 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Oh, poor Spike!  If he's asked Angel for help, he must have hit bottom.  Lovely writing as always.  Thanks for the update. 
Someone on another board described Spike as being like a junky who'd hit bottom, and I think that description is very apt. Of course, the one good thing about being rock bottom is that there is only one way you can go ... up. Thanks for the review.

06/12/2008 05:21 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
the line "Instead, he battered the vampire’s back with its sharp tip, leaving purple indentations like Morse code and a pain so insignificant Spike didn’t even notice it" was incredibly beautiful.
Spike's pain in the cave was heartbreaking.  I do hope you've got a happier ending planned for us some time in the future.  All of this story has been amazing, but since we've been back to the present, it's been so hard to read.  I'm just hoping for happiness in the end.
Thank you very much! That was one of my favorite lines as well.

kim
06/12/2008 04:46 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
IB - I've been feeling bad for the caged demon, too, when a scene has her. Animals shouldn't suffer.

I hope Buffy will remember that she promised to teach Spike how to be good, that he begged her to help guide him, because that's exactly what she didn't do. She's really shown a lack of maturity in this story, being so self-involved, and even if she and Spike are done, i hope it's an inner wake-up call to Buffy the Girl. Basically everyone but Dawn has royally f-ed up, though.

Spike showing up like this reminds me of a similar incident in a fic I once beta-d, though Spike showed up looking like hell with a soul, too, but still for help from Angel.
I'm glad Spike wasn't seen by the others in the hotel before he got to Angel's door.

I'm really anxious for how you're going to draw this to a close. I'd honestly be okay if it didn't end up with Spuffy together, as long as everyone's learned things, ya know? Their relationship is one of those cases where you see the potential of the couple, but you also see that they need, like, 5 years more growth before they should be together. Not a "not ever" couple, just not now...

Just wanted to drop you a (very!) belated line to thank you for the review. (((hugs)))

06/12/2008 04:39 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
You know, this story you're writing just keeps getting better and better, even as things get worse and worse. I can't tell where this is going, I've never been able. That's so neat! And poor Spike. Please, please let there be a happy ending at the end of this plot for him with Buffy. *sniffle*
Thank you so much! I couldn't ask for a better compliment than that.

06/12/2008 03:57 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
This chapter saddened me so. I can't imagine what you have in store for them.  Please let us know soon!
I'm sorry to make you sad -- and to make you wait so long for a new chapter. That was definitely not intentional, I promise, and I'll do my best to ensure it doesn't happen again. I just hope you haven't lost interest in the story in the meanwhile. (((hugs)))

laura
06/12/2008 03:57 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
I wonder what Angel will do?  So enjoying this story
Thank you! I'm glad that you are.

06/12/2008 02:59 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         

There is one thing that's bothering about this story: I have no frickin' clue what the hell is going to happen!!!!!!!!!  I'm pretty good at guessing what's going to happen next, but I'm at a loss.  How is Angel supposed to help him?  Angel knows about souls, but only if one is cursed.  And there hasn’t really been a “gotta have a soul” theme in rest of the fic.   

There’s the obvious theme of love.  It’s obvious that Buffy still loves Spike--at the very least, the William part of Spike--but can she accept the Spike part, too?  There’s no way to separate them, but she doesn’t seem likely to forget after what just happened.  Sure, Buffy’s pretty rankled right now, and maybe she could once she calms down.  But Buffy is nothing if not unswerving in her convictions. 

Time: Would Spike visit Lurky and fight to earn a pass to 1880?  Wouldn’t change everything he had with Buffy back then?  Wouldn’t she just end up being pulled back to the present eventually anyway?  Maybe something with the time travel theory will come into play.

There’s a little niggling suspicion in the back of my head that something—maybe everything—is going to change big time.  I don’t know what.  I don’t know how, I don’t know when.  But I do know that you won’t tell me  

I hate not knowing…


And am I the only one who felt sorry for the demon, locked in that cage for months with no purpose other than to lay eggs, trapped inside, unable to move around, wallowing in her own filth?  And when she’s finally released, she gets bludgeoned to death!  I don’t care if she is a dangerous beast; that’s no way to treat anybody or anything.  It’s completely inhumane.  And, yes, I realize that Spike isn’t human, but Suit Guy is human, which is just proof that even humans can be evil, Buffy.  Ugh!  That makes me so mad

lol. See now? That's my goal. I want to keep everyone guessing up until the very last paragraph. Hopefully, though, I won't make you guys wait another three months for a new chapter. Sorry 'bout that ...

06/12/2008 01:26 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
what a heart break story for Spike - but what an exciting and wonderful new work you are adding to the New Buffyverse FF -

Congratulations on your terrific new story -  I sure wish that Buffy would try to understand some part of her complicity in all this - I am very interested to see what the consequences for her relationship with Giles will become. 

Everyone has played their own tragic part leading up to this, from Dawn and her wonderful dedication and love for Spike to Buffy's fantasy William and her desire and passion for that past history, Giles putting his own agenda before the needs of his Slayer and perhaps the most tragic of all - Spike and his desparate need to have Buffy in his life.   Love with this much need and passion, what a complex and truly sad way to experience life -

What a pity that so much time had to pass before Spike/William could encounter Buffy again -

Excellent Update and much thanks for not making us wait too long -
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your review ... and to post a new chapter. Hopefully, that won't happen again.

Miss. Onyx
06/12/2008 01:18 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
...........WOWZA. I was not expecting that at ALL! I think Angel will be an interesting addition to the saga that is Forward to Time Past. Especially with all the history you have devised for him, thus far.
hee. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review.

06/12/2008 12:57 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
You know, Buffy's had quite a few muck ups of her own of endangering the ones she loved by doing what she believed is right.  Why, if memory serves, because of her foolhardiness at believing she could shoulder full responsiblity for Angelus, attempting to protect those around her, she instead left Xander with a broken arm, Willow in a coma, Giles kidnapped and tortured horribly, and Kendra dead.  Just saying   It's not like Spike wanted Dawn hurt, or wanted her to follow him--she unfortunately got caught in the crossfire that is Spike and Buffy's relationship, and she wanted to make sure that her friend was okay.  Also the whole "if Giles had given her the money" thing, yeah, none of that would have happened.

But, I'm glad Spike was smart enough to know when he needed help, and that Angel was the most qualified party.  Dawn aside, he's the only family Spike has left.  I am very interested and excited to see their interactions in the next update.
Well, I've finally managed to finish and post the new chapter, so maybe some of your curiosity will be satisfied. Then again ... maybe not. You know me, I'm evil and like to keep everyone guessing. A (very!) belated thanks for the review.

06/12/2008 12:49 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
Oh dear!  God THIS is angst not just plot necessary obstacles!  She knows well he is William and has chosen to shut off...that is the worst possible thing.  She isn't even thinking of how little time he's had with her as his conscience..teaching him.  Where was the teaching when she was painting her nails and planning a school course with him next to her often battered and not eating????  She had to know, admits it herself yet takes no responsibility for not having questioned and guided as he had asked her to do.

Giles DID set this in motion and I really hope he'll have to pay and will feel guilt.

Have a feeling Spike is soul searching now.  He knows that he cannot trust Buffy to be his moral compass...she's too self involved really.  He also knows that he has made a mess of it.  Poor guy really was trying the best that he could.  In the only way he knew how he was taking care of his girls because no one else was that's for certain.

Painful chapter...you can FEEL the emotion pour off the screen and rip into your heart.  Looks very bleak but not unrepairable.  Hope Angel finally does the right thing here.....he owes them both.

Kathleen

As with almost everything else in my life, I am incredibly behind in answering my reviews. I know it's been ... well ... months since you left this one. But I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your taking the time to write it. Your reviews are always so full of insight and so encouraging for me to read. Thank you.

06/12/2008 12:15 am
Chapter Sixty-Three         
So I get a notification in my email that this story has been updated, and I POUNCE.  And as always, you do not disapoint.  Poor, poor Spike *pets him*.  Love the re-introduction of Angel; can't wait to see what happens next.  I hope Dawn kicks Buffy's ASS when she gets out of the hospital.  Please update again soon!

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I'm sorry it took me so long to answer your review -- and to post another update. I hope you haven't lost interest in the story in the meantime. (((hugs)))

holly
08/26/2008 01:50 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
I just started reading this over the weekend..thank you so much for writing this!!! I LOVE THIS STORY!!! Update soon please! Every ride home from work all  I could think of was getting to the computer to read some more. One of the very best stories I've ever read it's killing me to see what happens next. Please oh please update soon
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I'm sorry there was such a long delay in updates, but I hope you enjoy the new chapter. Thanks for reading.

pearlseed
06/11/2008 03:44 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Scoobies are mean spirited and not very nice right now that's how it feels. 
Spike's what/who he is and Buffy isn't very nice either--I'm intrigued with your story, but flat fed up with meanness one to another.  I'm of a live and let live tribe, surely wish the ones in this story could follow through on that.  I mean I know women are supposed to have the fickle gene, but lord love a duck Buffy could you please decide to just go with what you know, the vamp loves ya.

06/03/2008 03:17 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Yays!!!!  D=  That sounds really terrible of me, but still I yays, because Giles is like "this is kinda my fault" and Buffy's like "I knew the money wasn't from Dad".  It's like they realize they helped point the loaded gun that is Spike.  

And yays!  Dawn isn't dead!  *whew*  I'm relieved.

06/02/2008 11:57 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Oh, you're killing me here; I so did not see this coming; poor, poor Spike; for a soulless creature incable of emotion, he certainly feels guilt and remorse in spades, doesn't he??  God, can't wait to see more; please update again soon??

Deb
06/02/2008 09:24 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
And it's all come crashing down around him.  Thanks for Willow's sympathy. 

06/02/2008 02:57 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
This must be one of the very best chapters in the entire story - What a blow-up for Dawn and Spike and Buffy.  And what a huge surprise with the betrayal of Giles - It's a excellent plot turn because it feels just like what could happen in real life -   As does the ultimate and predictable disaster at the caves.  Life Does SUCK and Spike, irrespective off his Good Intentions was completely irrational in his trying to do The Good and Right Thing.  Giles and Spike, both end up doing so much harm by their good intentions -

How does anyone come back from this point?

06/01/2008 10:09 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Oh man, is Buffy mean - doesn't even give poor Spike a chance to explain.  Since she's in a bad mood anyway, maybe she could punch Giles and Xander in the nose.

actually have the stones - Stones isn't an American expression.  Buffy would probably say balls.

Thanks for another great chapter.

IT
06/01/2008 07:47 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Well, an epiphany for Willow!  Can't wait to see how that plays out - as long as she isn't too late with it!

And Giles!  He's the one who imposed the conditions?!  For shame!

Great writing, as always.  Thanks. 

06/01/2008 02:15 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
YES YES YES....I finally got a block of time to devote to giving this chapter its deserved attention!

You can FEEL the urgency throughout the entire chapter.  Highly emotional in every case.

Sadly Buffy is so in character...he deserves much better from her and I hope she realizes that quickly.  She shut him out and blamed him instantly.  Would serve her right to have HIM walk away from her for a change.

Xander was so typical....blame, hit (especially as Spike cannot fight back) and repeat as desired.

Giles was decent for a change in admitting Spike DOES have feelings and to his own manipulation.  Perhaps he will finally do the right thing for both Buffy and Spike.

Same with Willow....I think the light bulb finally went on there as she realizes Spike has feelings of the non lethal type.  Tara is clearly there already.

Loved the helpful stoner....very nice touch to the story!

Buffy's very bad behavior SHOULD offset Spike's bad choice if it comes to a throw down but I doubt the Scoobies would agree.  (Maybe Tara).

Really intense and so well written...you can feel the panic, the pain, the anger...the whole termult of emotions.  Beautifully done.  You even captured the absurdity and surreal feeling of hospital rules/regulations and forms while a person is beside themselves with worry for a loved one!  Excellent.

Kathleen

Cas
05/31/2008 08:41 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         
I guess for well educated men both Spike and Giles can be pretty stupid.  I guess its the 'men' part that that causes the problem.

athena606
05/31/2008 05:56 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         

Damn this could of all been avoid had Giles not been an ass. And what with Xander i mean shut up already. And duh Willow its about time. I hope Buffy for once stands by her man. And if i feel this way your doing an AWESOME job. Keep it up! really love this story.

05/31/2008 03:25 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
nice move by red. very good read, thank you.  p.s. the voting is in on the ass of the century award. it is a tie, xander and giles.

05/31/2008 02:59 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Another brillant chapter.  I almost don't want to read the next one out of fear that things will go futher south for our poor Spikey, but like a moth to a flame, I can't wait for your next update. 

05/30/2008 04:57 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Loved Giles coming clean.  Worried about Spike, though! 
Your writing is amazing - plot, characters, suspense, emotion.   Thank you for writing this!

05/30/2008 03:21 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Good to see that Dawn survived.  I really hope that Spike can pull himself together again.

05/30/2008 02:52 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Thanks for another fabulous update, Buffy's reaction was much better than expected.  Looking forward to the next...

05/30/2008 12:29 pm
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Thanks for the update.

kim
05/30/2008 11:02 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Well, Giles' ultimatum part of the Council offer is no surprise.....he was too against the relationship to let Buffy make her own decisions.

I'm glad some softness clicked for Willow. She can catch up to Tara, maybe, in seeing things more fairly.

And Buffy wasn't as blind as she let on...but she was unwilling to just talk to Spike. He asked her to teach him to be good, yet she's let him assume a caretaker role without guidance except his own perceptions. She hasn't taken the responsibility he asked her to do in love. Which begs the question....how much does she love *Spike*? She needed a William after her mother's death still, but how invested in making this work is she, really? Oh, dear.......

I'm sure Dawn will try to cover for Spike as soon as she's awake, as shes been doing these weeks. Poor girl's the only one with her head on straight and her eyes open in the entire mess. Smarter than all the "adults", she's been.

I hope Spike can be on a path with more secure footing by the end. It's been so long since he's had confidence, since he's had his own balls, really. The desperation to keep Buffy has really torn down every part of him that was mature and grown up. This isn't the same Spike that rescued Dru from a mob and kept her safe through her illness, then cured her. Even in love, Buffy seems able to destroy a vampire just by proximity. The touch of a Slayer a curse to the undead......?

05/30/2008 11:00 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Where is he going?? I'm so glad you didn't leave us hanging for too long, but once again my stomach is making, as Dawn would say, all sorts of bad rumblies. This is just going to go very wrong. Poor Spike - glad someone thought of him. And Giles- the b**tard! Look forward to more.

05/30/2008 10:56 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
Terrific chapter with everyone showing their true colours.  Xander wasn't a surprise, of course, but how could Giles justify what he did?  Willow was surprisingly kind to Spike but he'll never forgive himself.  Turmoil indeed.

fangfaceandrea
05/30/2008 05:55 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
wow what a hell of a chapter!  poor Buffy, with a sister in the hospital and feeling betrayed not just by Spike but by Giles as well...

And nice to see Wilow realizing how things are for Spike.

Diana
05/30/2008 05:34 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         

I read this story rapidly, I love it, it's amazing, I couldn't stop to comment on the other chapters because I was way too in love. The 18th century stuff was so sweet I almost cried. But I'm really happy to see a more human side to the characters in this chapter. The Scooby parts of this story have seemed hollow compared to the rich dimension in your characterization of William and Buffy/Elizabeth and Drusilla and Angelus. I felt off put though in recent chapters, little too one-dimensional with Willow and Giles for a while. It felt like you were writing them like you hated them, not like characters. That being said, I can't say how much I enjoy your writing. Best fic I've read in a LONG LONG LONG time. Great job, can't wait to see what happens next!

05/30/2008 05:25 am
Chapter Sixty-Two         
 Thank God that Dawn is stable, but I can't help but feeling bad for Spike. Horrible idea for getting money aside, he never wanted this to happen. He didn't want Dawn to follow him and he tried to keep her out of the way. Accidents happen and Dawn, being Dawn, kinda went looking for trouble. But Spike is going to be blamed - particularly by the one woman he loves - and it'll destroy him...unless Dawn can somehow make it right. Or Buffy has a little faith.

And Giles' bombshell! How dare he presume to.. I'm pissed at him right now.

IdiotSavant8009 (Taylor)
07/16/2009 07:12 pm
Chapter Sixty-One         
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm glad they destroyed the eggs. But, oh God, Dawn.

Liza
05/25/2008 10:59 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
Thrilled with the new plot dvelopment.  Had been worried about the direction of this for a wee while;  was afraid that the fire had gone out and  it was going to limp along until you put it out of it's misery (see 'Distance' by Herself).   Keep up the pace and conclude.  Well done!  
I hope you read this reply, because I would love for you to respond to it. At what point did you grow concerned about the direction of the plot? I'm not asking so I can argue with you, but as most readers already know, I welcome constructive criticism. I might not always agree with it, but it always gives me something to think about, which is a wonderful thing for any writer. So, if you could elaborate on your original thought, I would be very grateful. However, time being in short supply for almost everyone, I understand it you don't. Thanks so much for the review.

05/25/2008 01:07 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
Things are really getting hairy now! I hope things turn out well for all in spite of how bleak it looks now.  Excellent on the edge of my chair writing!

05/23/2008 01:55 pm
Chapter Sixty-One         
You love to leave me screaming at the computer, don't you!  Thanks for the update.

Deb
05/23/2008 10:31 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
I've got my hands over my eyes and am peeking through to read. Sheilding myself from the horror of envisioning this terrible event.  He's slipping so fast and now Dawn's truly hurt.  I truly ache for their current situation. 

Such an excellent story.  I've loved every bitter sweet and sometimes difficult moment.

05/23/2008 02:36 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
Woah. Like, woah. Everyone was already so hurt and broken. Hope it all get's fixed in the end, but I leave that in your ever capable hands.

05/22/2008 02:58 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
another fine mess you've gotten us into, fix this. please. very good read, thank you.

05/21/2008 11:23 pm
Chapter Sixty-One         
 What an intense chapter! You are so good at capturing (dark) lovesick Spike, and your use of Dawn here is really excellent. I'm afraid to imagine what Chap 62 will hold, so I'll just wait for you to reassure me...or not.

05/21/2008 07:46 pm
Chapter Sixty-One         
Oh SHIT!  Well this will certainly get his attention (and, sadly, his employers as well!).  Buffy is going to be furious and Giles will crow (the bastard). 

My heart wept for his disbelief that he is loved even though you can  see it through his eyes and understand his reasoning.  I think she does but as Dawn says has no concept of how to show it, prove it and he NEEDS it proven.  He also needs to at least TRY to care about her friends because you can NEVER force someone to choose between you and the others they love....you will always lose  in some way.  He needs to learn this without it being the hard way.

Excellent chapter....heart wrenching in so many ways.

He's not wrong in what he said to Tara and Willow but it was not his place to say it either.  He's learning but will it be fast enough?  I am counting on you to make it so.

Excellent emotional chapter.  So in character for Spike.  He tries so hard but just doesn't "get it", not without the soul.  That's why he went to get it in canon, because he couldn't be a vampire any longer but didn't have the tools to be a man.  He could try and come close without it but there was still a big hole in his reasoning.  That doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to be loved only that he will keep messing up until he has the tools in some way.  Either a saintly patient Buffy teaching him and forgiving or internal help.

Buffy is in character too.  Lashing out at him and withholding the assurance he needs but not meaning any harm with either.  Very self involved and insecure herself.


Kathleen

Twilightchild
05/21/2008 07:37 pm
Chapter Sixty-One         
  Oh no!  Dawn!  She's been so supporting, and such a good friend to Spike, and now both he and Buffy could lose her...

  Even though it's agony, I like the fact that you keep Spike's struggle to do well very realistically.  Her friend's concerns have merit, because Spike doesn't know how to be good yet.  He is a vampire.

  In other stories, writers have him doing well just by trying, or suddenly being the perfect boyfriend.  I like that you keep him true to his character and his trauma.  Spike didn't just turn good for his love for Buffy, he had to actually change.

Miss. Onyx
05/21/2008 05:08 pm
Chapter Sixty-One         
Whaaaaaaatttt!?!?!?!!? Wow. I was not expecting this at all! Which I suppose, is a good thing. I have no idea whats coming next, but I can't wait....this was one of those chapeters where you kind of want to squeeze your eyes shut to miss all the really tense stuff.....but you can't because its not a movie and you have to read it. Excellent!

05/21/2008 02:02 pm
Chapter Sixty-One         
Uh-oh. This is not going to go well. Waiting on tenterhooks for the next update. 

05/21/2008 11:44 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
OMG! Gripping - suspensful! Looking forward to more!

05/21/2008 10:09 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
What a mess - I can't see how Spike's going to get past this.  Dawn's been amazing with him but how can Buffy forgive him putting Dawn in such danger?  Angst at its most gruelling.  More asap please!!!!

05/21/2008 10:05 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
all I can say is OMG - how could things be any worse - talk about a complete screw up on the part of Spike.  Buffy could not have said any more perfect line to finish his path to self-destruction and the worst of it all is that he has taken the one person who had only his best interest and love in her heart for him.   Dawn being the ultimate victim of his stubbornness and insecurity and obsessive behavior will be something almost impossible to live with -

Great chapter - Spike in total melt-down and the tragic consequences that will most certainly follow - it breaks my heart. 

Wonderful heroic Dawn, crazy vindictive Spike, and Buffy maybe showing her true feelings; at least unresolved feelings of anger for Spike not being William - all great elements to this latest update. 

Great story - please don't make us wait too long to see what comes next -


05/21/2008 09:40 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
I really hope Dawn doesn't get offed in this--I really like her here.  However, I do smell a "god, you're an evil, disgusting thing!" line coming on...Here's hoping I'm dead wrong.

05/21/2008 08:33 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
The only reasonable, sane person in Spike and Buffy's world right now and Spike's going to take every iota of the blame and twice the remorse for anything and everything that happened to her; no matter that he couldn't stop her from following and his first thoughts when he discovered something went wrong were to get her to safety.

05/21/2008 05:37 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
oh. my. god. I knew it would be bad, but I didn't know how bad.

This is so scary, it's magnificent. Poor Dawn, poor Spike, oh, this is such a mess.

You really need to go pro. But not until you finish this story.


athena606
05/21/2008 05:27 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
OMG! Don't tell me Dawn's gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

05/21/2008 05:25 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
oh dear.  This isn't oging to go over well.

Then again, the demonettes (demonlings?) are destroyed, and the breeder can't make any more if she hasn't fed enough. 

I hope the boss person dosen't come after Spike at this point, though...

fangfaceandrea
05/21/2008 05:19 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
well there you go,off course it would be Dawn. man ::sighs::

05/21/2008 04:58 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
Ooo eee - Spike has really done it now.  Great chapter, as usual
Thank you!

05/21/2008 04:46 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
I don't know what to say.  Just that I hope your muse keeps you inspired so the next update isn't far away.  Spike's last line pretty much says it all.
I'm woefully late in saying this ... but thanks for the review. I always enjoy reading your thoughts.

kim
05/21/2008 04:43 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
Oh my God!!!! That's hospital time, there, and no right way to explain that off to Buffy.......the best they could say is that they got attacked in the cemetery......Oh holy crap.
lol. "Oh, holy crap" pretty well sums it up, doesn't it? Thanks for the review.

IT
05/21/2008 04:25 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
Oh, noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to update soon, please!!!  Please, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Well, I'm very late in saying this ... but thanks for the review. I really appreciate it.

05/21/2008 04:08 am
Chapter Sixty-One         
oh god!   NO NO NO NO FIX IT!!!!!!  Come on PLEASE!!!!!!!!  oh god FIX IT FIX IT!!!!  Please update soon.... sorry i got carried away... it was just so good.............
lol. Getting carried away is a compliment to my writing, I think. Thank you for the review! I'm sorry I took so long to respond to it.

Barn
04/08/2009 02:03 pm
Chapter Sixty         
 i think this is very good
ive been reading along on fan fiction and then crossed to here.

Spike is portrayed beautifully and is very loving towards Buffy and Dawn which i love

Buffy is a bit more understanding, which is a little odd for me as most of the ones ive read she still hates him until the last couple of chapters...

The scoobies seem like the friends from hell..
except for Anya and occasionally Xander

but thats why i love the story so much
its different and new

I love it!
Keep up the good work! 

10/23/2008 05:35 am
Chapter Sixty         
Oh my gosh. I fell in love with this story so long ago, it was addictive, and when I thought I wasn't going to get to read it anymore I was devastated. I'm so glad I have found it once again. Your writing brings tears to my eyes every time. Your characters are so true, so real. I love every word, and can't wait to begin reading it again!

Fyrefly
09/12/2008 12:53 am
Chapter Sixty         
Followed the link to get here...
*contented sigh*
Your writing is like a drug.
What a nice thing to say. Thank you!

06/02/2008 11:42 pm
Chapter Sixty         
How anyone could ever doubt that a being so self-sacrificing, so giving, and so willing to let himself be hurt for the ones he loves, how anyone could doubt that being's ability to love; it boggles the mind, it truly does.  And Giles, gah!!!  So eager to find out source of the money, so eager to cause problems, but not offering any solutions of his own, aside from bribing Buffy.  ARGH!  I'm angry now; off to read the next chapter. 
Thanks for the review! I'm sorry I'm so late in responding to it.

05/19/2008 07:25 pm
Chapter Sixty         
it is difficult to decide which is more frustrating, spike being dense or giles being giles. very good chapter, thank you.
lol. I love the "Giles being Giles" remark. For me, as the writer, Spike's being dense is the most frustrating. If he wasn't already aware that he was in freefall, then Dawn's warnings made it perfectly clear. Regardless of his intentions, his actions are becoming more and more destructive and his sense of wrong and right more convoluted. He needs help, and right now the only one who can give it to him -- the only one he will listen to -- has her head buried in the sand.

Bad choices all around, it seems. Thanks for the review.

05/18/2008 05:20 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Oh no! Damn Giles and his nosiness. This is not going to end well. Great update though. Poor Spike's working himself to death for her.
I'm sorry I'm so late in answering your review, but I hope you know that I really do appreciate your taking the time to leave it.

Poor Spike has become so consumed with Buffy that not only is he not thinking clearly, but he's willfully putting himself at risk to take care of her. Dawn is trying to be his voice of reason, but he's too stubborn to listen to her. In other words ... he's being Spike.

05/18/2008 02:17 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Spike is almost terrifying in his obsession. Not eating or sleeping so as to be with her? Not good and not conducive to not getting hurt or caught.
And I'm so pissed off at Giles. He just had to look deeply into taking away everything that makes Buffy happy. Spike, the money that has taken her out of Council control, and the ability of financially supporting and keeping her sister close to her. Bullying an adolescent girl for answers? It's sneaky, it's petty, and it's so controlling it verges on the worst aspects of the Council--taking Potentials away from everyone and everything they know so as to better indoctrinate them into the training. And I'm sure it's all "for her own good." If I'm reading the signs right, Riley is due to make an appearance very soon. I predict an explosion--I don't know who or how, but things are probably going to get very ugly soon--Dawn is very right on that point.

There is a fine line between love and obsession, and you're completely right in saying that Spike has teetered over it. I think this is past romance on his part and has become something that is unhealthy for them both. Thanks for the review.

tinkerbell
05/17/2008 11:00 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Thanks to the muses for inspiring you to update!  Hopefully they'll keep inspiring you for more updates. I'm dreading to read the inevitable drama that will ensue when Buffy finds out what Spikes been up to,  Poor Spike, hasn't he suffered enough
So I desperately hope this will have a happy ending for our heroes!
I'm sorry I'm so incredibly late in answering your review. But, hey, at least the Muse has been churning out the chapters, right? Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how incredibly grateful I am to you for taking the time to leave feedback.

05/17/2008 03:15 pm
Chapter Sixty         
 You did such a good job here of presenting a man desperately, passionately insane about a woman.
Thank you! And what an apt description you've given of what he's feeling.

05/17/2008 01:00 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Thank you for the update.  The suspense is killing me!!
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

05/17/2008 07:46 am
Chapter Sixty         

When I was reading the chapter, I could feel the tension building toward something monumental, something of the bad.  I didn’t want to keep reading; but, you know, proverbial train wreck   I will say that I wasn’t expecting a claim.  Although, to be honest, I think I was too sick to my stomach to really speculate what was about to happen.   Of course, with hindsight’s special pair of eyes in the back of its head, it all makes sense. 

During the bitey part of this chapter, I couldn’t help but to draw a comparison with the bathroom scene in “Seeing Red.”  Spike hasn’t eaten.  He has a compulsive need to be near Buffy, inside Buffy (he couldn’t even last six hours).  He’s constantly on edge.  Dawn’s words shame him in his head, confirming what he already knows: if Buffy finds out about the demon eggs, she will not be a happy camper.  He’s filled with the same longing, the same passionate craving for her attentions, her affections that we saw in “Seeing Red.”  Only, instead of “Let yourself love me,” it’s “You love me, and you’re mine.”  He looses his dubious grasp of self-control for just a moment, but that’s all it takes to hurt the girl.  He drinks from her and claims her as his without any thought to the consequences.  Spike is so consumed with Buffy that he literally tries to consume her.

I also notice the parallel between human William and Spike.  At the beginning of FtTP, I was so amazed at the tiny vestiges of Spike that were apparent in William.  Now, it’s the opposite.  William was obsessed with keeping tabs on his Elizabeth, afraid of loosing what was his.  It’s as though he knew subconsciously that he was working on borrowed time, and at any moment, his Elizabeth would vanish into thin air.  Spike is obsessed, afraid of loosing what is his.  He knows he’s working on borrowed time, and despite Buffy’s reassurance, he’s still afraid of losing her.  After all, she assured human William that she would always be there with him—consented to be his bride for life, no less—and she disappeared the moment he took his attentions away from her. 

Despite his concerns, Buffy was able to appease human William, but she cannot seem to assuage Spike’s fears.  Human William still had his 19th century morals.  No matter how much he wanted to throw caution to the wind, something inside him always held him back; but Spike has spent the last 100 years shedding those reservations.  He has no soul, and therefore, no conscience, no way to gauge just how far is too far.  Buffy loved him when he was human, and she had no reason to hate him.  But he’s a vampire now, one who’s doing something morally questionable, something that could cause Buffy to leave him.  Although his head’s not on straight, Spike is thinking with his heart.  He wants to take care of Buffy, no matter the cost, even if the price is her love.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions indeed, or in this case, demon eggs.

Oh, loved, “So, he went right.”  So ironic since he’s going terribly wrong

I am so behind on answering my reviews, it isn't even funny. But better late than never, right?

Okay, Bizarro Me, you've gone and done it again. I actually did pattern the bedroom scene in this chapter after the bathroom scene in  "Seeing Red." In fact, I watched two excerpts from that episode (Dawn visiting Spike in his crypt and the AR) beforehand. It helped me get a clearer vision of what I was already seeing in my head. I like how you mentioned his "compulsive need to be inside Buffy." It was touched on back in Chapter Fifty-Six with this line: "If he could have, he would have nestled into the soft bed of her temporal lobe or been held by the pulsing muscles of her right atrium. He would have become so deeply embedded that she couldn’t ignore him or run away." But only a few people outside this archive took note of what that meant. (Readers here rock.!) A lot of readers saw it as romantic, and I suppose it is. But it also shows how obsessive he has become and how desperate. His biting her in this chapter was a violation of her body, whether she resented it or not. Not at all on par with attempted rape, of course. But she certainly never gave him permission to put his fangs into her. Everything you said about the parallels between Spike and William is spot-on. But you already know that, don't you? You're Bizarro Me.

One more thing ... I think that you're the only person to mention the fact that "he went right."

05/17/2008 02:53 am
Chapter Sixty         
oh my goodness.  claiming, Spike's realization that maybe his job is a bad idea, but choosing to go along with it, to take care of Buffy, even if if destoys him...Giles' interference...wow, you've sure packed a lot into this update. 
And so finely crafted, too.  lovely.
It did turn out to be a pretty hefty chapter, lol. I thought about splitting it up, but it seemed to flow so well this way, I decided to just leave it alone. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!

05/17/2008 02:05 am
Chapter Sixty         
Oh poor Spike...caught between a rock and hard place!  Gile's guilty conscience is now somewhat akin to a jealousy for not providing for Buffy.  I think I hate Giles more in this fic than any other one I've read.
lol. Poor Giles. All my readers hate him -- he's even been getting death threats. Ah well, that'll teach him to be such a prig. Thanks for the review.

05/16/2008 08:56 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Oh Spike.

It's what I think every time I read a new chapter lately.  A feeling of heartache and impending doom.  And sympathy, because he cares so much about her to exclusion of nearly anything else ... and her friends seem to care not too much at all.

Man, I hope everything turns out okay.  ::prays for happy ending::

Spike is making all the wrong decisions right now, but I'm glad you're still sympathizing with him. He's doing what he thinks is right: taking care of his girls at any cost. However, the costs are going to be very high indeed ... Thanks for the review.

05/16/2008 07:17 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Great Update - but how very very sad - what a burden and sorrow filled love his has become.   His love and obsession has indeed become the very thing that could eventually destroy him and a chance for happiness for all of them.  His one chance is to do the right thing and destroy those eggs and then have a honest talk with Buffy.  Now with this claim, everything has gone into such a deeper and complex relationship - what are the physical consequences going to be for the safety of Buffy and Dawn now that the claim has been introduced. 

Very much like how the human traits of William and Spike have combined and are still so vital of part of how his life has formed - all is so very sad now for Spike and his girls.

Don't much like your Giles but he is doing his duty and trying to take care of his Slayer - I only hope that Buffy will remember that she also has to take some responsibility for her choices and actions in their past.

Your observations about Spike's self-destructive behavior are spot-on. It's nice to know that I was able to convey that to readers in the way I hoped to do. But I don't think anyone likes my Giles. lol. Thanks for the review.

05/16/2008 06:34 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Excellent update, poor Spike; things seem to be unraveling at a fast pace. He doesn't seem to have the where-with-all to stop it. Looking forward to more!
Poor Spike is in freefall, and the only person who knows about it is too young to know just how to help him ... Angsty times ahead, I think. Thank you for the review.

fangfaceandrea
05/16/2008 06:32 pm
Chapter Sixty         
silly, stupid lovesick vampire indeed.
lol. I thought it was apt ...

05/16/2008 12:45 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Please don't let this ruin everything.  Spike should be truthful but he's doing his best.  Giles is just dying to stick his oar in!  Great chapter, as always.
Giles is still stuck in his "father" role. I think it's time he realized that his chick has grown wings and flown the nest. A (very) belated thanks to you for the review.

kim
05/16/2008 12:15 pm
Chapter Sixty         
Scarlet, you may be on to something about Buffy being more excited about school than worried about her boyfriend. It fits with her character, unfortunately, but she's been pretty self-centered the whole story.

She does love William and is trying to love Spike.......but I think their relationship now shows the vast difference in their ages. Buffy is 20 and barely past being a kid socially and emotionally, and Spike had over a 100 years with Dru. Even though Dru wasn't the same for him here as canon, he was still devoted and had plenty of practice with relationship dynamics. And I think Dru and Spike were more honest with each other than Buffy and Riley, in comparison, so it's just........different. In a vampire way, Spike already knows how to be an old married. Buffy's happy being somebody's princess, just like she used to be for her father. Miles to go before her expectations meet his.

And very sad for Spike.
I always saw Buffy as a fairly self-centered character in her personal life. It's strange considering that she's willing to risk her entire life to save the world ... but then she's a complicated girl. lol. Thanks for the review!

05/16/2008 10:56 am
Chapter Sixty         
Also, I agree with Lindsay.   The whole "stroking him like a puppy" thing was highly disconcerting...I initially thought that Giles had spoken to her, and that created this...chasm between them--like she was lost in her thoughts about what it all meant, and where was Spike getting that kind of money.  But she was just thinking about school.  Dude--no one is that excited about school.  Her boyfriend got a nearly coma induced headache, and hardly eats anymore cause he's worried about her, but she's busy looking at a school book?  That's crazy weird, man.  Or mad crazy.
Hmmm ... you guys picked up on that, did you? Why aren't I surprised?

05/16/2008 10:50 am
Chapter Sixty         
Oh noes!  How could Spike bite her?  How could he lose control like that?  Oh, this is so awful...How could Buffy forgive him?!

Okay--just kidding   I think it's awesome he claimed her (in a sense), and she didn't freak out about it.  Of course, I do know that this egg business is going to blow up in his face in some shape or form...And Giles is on the case....Poor Spike--can't seem to catch a break.  At least Dawn is on his side--she can be quite vocal about things, so there's the good.
lol. Scarlet, you sound like a "next time on Day of Our Lives" announcement. But I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Belated thanks to you for the review!

kim
05/16/2008 09:58 am
Chapter Sixty         
Ah, I've been guessing correctly....he does know it's all for her even if it ruins things for him. But poor Dawn was enjoyingly their little family. Giles, butt out!! Isn't it enough that your Slayer is happy? That the worry lines have lessened? That's she's had some respite to get past the loss of her mother, much as anyone can? Bastard...

With her perky voice, Buffy wouldn't be too bad at telemarketing, if she found a low-pressure one. Pays better than the minimum wage she expected from DMP.
ROFL. Telemarketing? Well, there's an idea...

05/16/2008 05:42 am
Chapter Sixty         
Giles just makes me so freaking mad!  I know Spike is obsessed, and that he's doing the wrong thing, but honestly, his heart is in the right place.  At least he's trying to do something honorable for Buffy.  He's not skulking around like a big watcher loser mucking everything up. 
But there's so much more to this chapter.  Was that a claim?  I'm worried about Spike and Buffy, not just because of what Spike is doing, but also by what is not being said between them.  That line about Buffy stroking his head like an attention-seeking puppy is very telling.  And the way Dawn's words of warning are filtering through to Spike's every moment is pushing him into even greater stress.  He's like the panther in that poem by Rilke.  It's as though Spike is losing himself in Buffy, and maybe she is finding herself again, but the cost is so high, not only in financial terms, but the cost to Spike's psyche.  But maybe I'm bringing too much of our tag discussions of season six into this; FtTP's Buffy is not the embittered abuser of the show, but someone else.  Someone who has retained (or regained?) her sweetness and strength, which lies not in her Slayer abilities but in herself. 
It's late, and my thoughts are too scattered to give this chapter justice, but I will come back to it again.  This was a doozy of a chapter, but I don't think it could have been broken up easily.  Many many thanks for writing so eloquently and with such passion for your characters!  You always leave me hanging on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter!
lol. Giles is in big trouble with the readers, isn't he? I think I need to put a bullet proof vest on him just to be safe. I agree with you about Spike wanting to do the honorable thing, even if his way of going about it is decidedly ... well ... immoral. Spike was definitely trying to claim Buffy with that bite, the poor misguided boy. Remember in Chapter 25 when one of William's reasons for sleeping with Buffy was because he thought she wouldn't be able to leave him after he took her virginity (or what he thought was her virginity anyway)? This is a similar act of desperation on Spike's part, only it is a far more complicated and far reaching one. I *love* that poem, although I've never thought about it in regards to Spike. But it definitely fits well with the content of the last few chapters. Your thoughts aren't scattered at all. On the contrary, I appreciate reading such a detailed, well thought out review. (((hugs)))

05/16/2008 05:39 am
Chapter Sixty         
I want to do violence on Giles in the worst way!  Damn he's as bad as S7 on the show!  Please, please with Steven Colbert on top can we hurt him A LOT???????

My heart aches for Spike...he IS worried.  He is dealing with major abandonment fears coupled with insecurities that Buffy has unknowingly fed by not having him move in or wearing his ring.  Add to that Dawn's very valid admonision and he is one big mess...I feel like I am watching a fuse heading towards a pile of TNT.

I can't help but be glad for the claim because at least it might give him a chance to not lose her.  I'd love her to actually understand and forgive but I fear that may be too much to hope for. 

As usual a brilliant chapter FILLED with tension and emotion and a massive amount of tenderness.  You have made him so vulnerable but never weak.  You have managed to make him fearful and strong at the same time.  Just beautiful!

Kathleen
The jury is out - Giles must go into the Witness Protection Program if he is to survive the rest of this story. lol. And you're offering me Stephen Colbert *on top*? Did you mean for that to sound as dirty as it did? Because it so ... you rock! Spike's abandonment issues were something that always made me feel for him on the show. I think that's why I love that "Hurt" music video ... the line "everyone I know goes away, in the end" suits Spike perfectly. Poor boy. And your comparison of Spike to TNT in this chapter - dead on! Thanks, as always, for the detailed and supportive review. ((hugs))

Miss. Onyx
05/16/2008 05:17 am
Chapter Sixty         
I love how noble your Spike is. It's like despite all of his self-inflicted transformation into this rough character he can't shake good breeding. He knows how to take care of things, and forsees those things before they are even an issue. It's his most endearing quality, and you have captured it and even created aspects of it better than any other author....and I have read a LOT of damn spuffy.
One thing that always stuck in my mind was the moment in "Crush" where Spike runs to open the door for Buffy. Odd thing to remember, I know. But to me, it just showcases the well-bred, chivalrous man he had once been. This Spike is even more so, due in no small part to his past experiences in taking care of her. I'm glad you like that about him. The last thing I want to do is portray him as weak or out of character, but I also want him to be true to the altered universe. Thanks for the review.

jess
04/30/2008 07:34 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
ARGGH is this like the whole Riley Doctor Egg thing.  Is spike going to earn his soul in this story.

Nope, this isn't a rehash of "As You Were," I promise. Thanks for the review.

04/28/2008 03:04 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Oh NOOOO!  I can just see where this is leading.  Please fix it!
I'll do my best, but the Muse must be satisfied regardless of where it leads me ... Thanks for the review.

04/28/2008 12:33 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
have to agree with dawn.  where is red's mind?  good chapter, thank you.
lol. Better not to ask, I think. Thanks for the review!

04/26/2008 09:53 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
I love the part where you wrote that Spike knew he was in over his head. He knows what he is doing is wrong yet he can't back out of it. Almost as if he has a wish for failure regarding his relationship with Buffy. Too good to be true.
That's a very good way to put it. :nod: Thanks for the review!

04/25/2008 07:17 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
oh dear. 
You're gong to throuw another wrench in the works soon, aren't you? 
This is such a finely wrought story.  Your characterizations are perfect. 
Loved Dawn following him out of the house. 
Buffy is drunk on her power over Spike?  Maybe a little tipsy? 
A wrench? Me? Surely you don't really believe that. And Buffy drunk on her power over Spike? Oh, yes. I'm thinking she really is. Thanks for the review!

04/25/2008 03:22 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Oh, so now we're waiting for Riley to stick his stupid head into the picture and depress Buffy some more--first by outing Spike as the caretaker of demon eggs, then by making sure Spike can't get any more money, then by getting her kicked out of her home when no more money is coming in.
By the way, I wondered when she'd try waiting to see if some random fledge would act normally if she left it alone. Not one of her smarter moves.
Well, don't assume anything at the moment. The road is getting very curvy up ahead ... Thanks for the review.

kamla
04/25/2008 06:55 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
ohhh I see a bad turn for our dear old spike...
Could be ...

04/25/2008 04:37 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Good Anya and excellent scene with Spike and Dawn.  The whole chapter had a very Victorian feel to it which is very nice in contrast to all the modern muck that's around. 
Thank you! You know me and the Victorians ...

AntarianChick
04/25/2008 02:46 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         

That was my names review btw.   8P

I knew it was you just from the writing.

04/25/2008 02:43 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
The eggs! Now why didn't I see this coming?  I'm so on edge. Spike is just setting himself up for a big fall. Making bad choices, but doing it all for love, that's our guy.

Every time you mention the ring, I feel all weepy. She says she loves him, trusts him. If so then why won't she, can't she wear his ring?

I see much heartache on the horizon. Fav part...

He said it dispassionately; neither proud nor ashamed of the part he played in the creature’s misery. To him, it was just a part of life, a means of making money. Dawn shivered and turned away from the cage.

I liked this because its raw and revealing about his nature. Makes me question if its the demon in him or did this cynical side of him just develope over time?

Aw, I'm sorry I made you weepy. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I won't do it again .... Thanks for the review.

04/24/2008 08:04 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Brilliant update. Really good insight into Spike's feelings. But God, I've got this horrible feeling it's all going to blow up in his face and she'll leave him and he'll go psycho... Hmm. More please!
Thank you! William was obsessive in his love, and Spike hasn't changed at all in that respect. He is certain that the results of his actions justify the means, because all that matters to him at this point is Buffy's safety and happiness. Of course, we know better and so does Buffy...

Reb
04/24/2008 07:51 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
This is a wonderful chapter. It's good to have Buffy and Spike finally "out", and to see the Scoobies dealing with something that is, rather than trying to stop something that might be. Dawn is great in her interactions with everybody, as always. It was very interesting to see Buffy try to apply Spike's history to reach a natural, but flawed conclusion: vamps aren't inherently evil. This is territory worth exploring further!
Thank you so much! They are a long way from having the perfect relationship, but they certainly stand a better chance than canon Spike and Buffy.

fangfaceandrea
04/24/2008 04:06 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
This is insane. the plot thikens and the dread grows

Dawn's right,  when Buffy finds out, that is if Giles doesn't fiend out first, everything is going to hell isn't it?
lol. Insane in a good way, I hope. Or, at least, in an entertaining way. Thanks for the review.

Pam
04/24/2008 03:26 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
I know angst is part of the story and I have loved reading its development. But wasn't ready for  Spike as Buffy's puppy dog that hasn't quite learned his manners yet.. or Spike the dolt. Got that in As You Were and didn't know we would revisit it.. So be it.

 Waiting to see what will happen with the eggs and Giles and more importantly Buffy and Spike's relationship..

I'm certainly very sorry that you feel Spike is being a dolt and a puppy dog, but thank you for reading and for being so honest in your review. Why do you assume we are revisiting AYW just because the demon eggs have entered the story? I hope you do stick around until the end. As I said, thanks for taking the time to leave a review.

04/24/2008 01:53 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Great chapter!

Gosh i just know this is going to blow up in Spikes face... starting the cringing now........

can't wait for MORE!!!!
I'm happy you enjoyed it! I'm sorry it took me so long to update (and answer your review), but I hope the new chapter makes it worthwhile. Thanks so much for the review.

04/24/2008 12:34 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Thanks for the update.
Thank you for reading it.

04/24/2008 12:18 pm
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Oh my GOD.  I have the same sick knot in my stomach that Dawn does.  What the hell is Spike thinking??  Never mind, i know what he's thinking, but OH MY GOD.  I think he's fully aware of what will happen if Buffy finds out, but he's forcing himself to do this anyway; would certainly explain why he's not eating; he sees this as the only way to help her, and he's going to do it, even if it costs him her love.  Amazing chapter, as always; can't wait to see more; you're ramping up the tension unbearably!!!  Bravo!!
Everything you said is spot-on and I'm so incredibly happy about that. Some readers seem to have mistaken his intentions, which made wonder if maybe I wasn't conveying them well. It's nice to know that a lot of readers *are* picking up on his motives. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know that.

04/24/2008 08:06 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Great chapter - knew Spike could be doing something really bad, but did not expect this - what a terrible potential for complete disaster.  Can't wait to see where you are taking this - especially after his discusison with Buffy and his telling her that he could have been a different kind of vamp from the normal.
I love doing things my readers don't expect. I hope I can continue to keep you on your toes. Thank you!

kim
04/24/2008 07:59 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Ahhh, so it is the eggs, only they're cooled this time. As for Dawn's pondering at the end...yeah, I'm wondering about that, too. Does Spike just want to get Buffy back on her feet before he knows the time will come for her to move on? He has to know if he doesn't stick to her ideals enough, that they won't have a life together.

I agree about Spike needing to stick to Buffy's ideals. The problem is that he sees the ends justifying the means. Buffy was frightened and in trouble -- and now she isn't. Maybe his method of getting from point A to point B is wrong, but to Spike, the assurance of Buffy's happiness and safety makes it okay. We, of course, know better. Thanks so much for the review.

04/24/2008 07:22 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Flowering almond.  Thank you.  Now, talk your boy into getting a decent job, like cage-fighting!
Cage fighting, eh? Maybe there could be oil of some kind.

IT
04/24/2008 07:17 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Oh, dear, Spike really has got himself into trouble!  I hate to image what will happen when Buffy finds out, because I have a horrible feeling she will eventually.   And I have a sneaking suspicion that Giles will be in on it.  He was just too curious about the money; from where and how much.  I bet he's going to try to use Spike's activities to bring Buffy to her "senses."  But then, it's all speculation and I could be wrong ... please?

Oh, and be kind to Spike ... please feed him more!

Poor Spike has been through a lot in this story hasn't he? I don't mean to be unkind to him, but the plot definitely doesn't show that. Thanks for the review.

04/24/2008 05:29 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Well, this Spike is clearly a lot more clever and a lot more knowledgeable about the eggs as opposed to canon.  Not sure how to feel about that.  But on the other hand, this Buffy is clearly more caring for Spike and their relationship.  She calls it a relationship, so that's a huge plus.  I don't know how you're going to spin that god-awful AYW, but I'm putting my faith in you

And of course--yes, I still have hope.  High hopes for that other thing that's been discussed and disscussed ad infinitum.

And Willow still isn't paying rent, and has the audacity to complain about Buffy's personal life?  Oh yeah, it's time for her to move her ass out.
Sadly, his cleverness might not necessarily serve him in good stead. And this Buffy (as opposed to canon Buffy) sees Spike as a man capable of giving and receiving love -- and even deserving of the latter. She isn't perfect and neither is their relationship, but at least the mutual love and respect is there. I'm glad you're enjoying reading that as much as I am writing it.  And the other thing? Mmm ... you just don't give up, do you?

04/24/2008 04:51 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
OH GOD!  I smell set-up in a major way here (just as on the show).....he has GOT to do something to get out of this before those eggs hatch or before he gets caught.  Giles is on the scent now and that can not be of the good.

Poor Spike, trying so hard but oh so clueless.  He may HAVE to go get that soul to be in a position to think more clearly about consequences and human "morality".  Yes it would end with Buffy in a New York minute. 

Wish Buffy had put on that ring.

Damn!  Why hasn't fully souled Giles come up with a way to help Buffy with the finances?  Tara made a good point about rent at least (notice no guilt in Willow though). 

Scary update...just scary.

Kathleen
Spike's sense of right and wrong is definitely skewed. He thinks that as long as the results are good  -- in this case, helping the people he loves -- then the means of getting there shouldn't matter. We know better of course, and so does Buffy. If she finds out ... Well, thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed my scary chapter. ((hugs))

04/24/2008 04:24 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
"Whatever evil might be in the deed, there was none in the intent."

I particularly loved that line...it rings so true to me.

Ok, general review: this fic is one of the most realistic portrayals of Spike I've read in a long time. You capture him so well.
That was my favorite line as well. And I'm so flattered and happy that you feel that way about my Spike characterization. He is such a wonderful, multi-layered and emotional character (thank you for all your hard work James!) and I definitely want to do him justice. Thank you.

04/24/2008 04:23 am
Chapter Fifty-Nine         
Oh sadness, we all knew he was going to be doing something bad. I keep hoping something will happen where Spike will still have to run of and get his soul back.

Another wonderful chapter .

Poor Spike has such a skewed sense of right and wrong, and he's doing his very best. I can't say anything about whether he might get his soul, but I'm definitely happy to know that you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you.

04/19/2008 09:40 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
fine read, thank you.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

pearlseed
04/16/2008 11:32 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Boy, such tenderness and sadness==I'm into coasting Buffy and Spike, Xander came through!!  Alright!  take care of them, I'm going to go watch Angel re-runs at 5....pretty quick now--it's another beautiful day and you helped with this lovely fiction.  Thanks.
Thank you! I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying the story. I hope I can keep you so entertained. Have fun watching Angel.

AntarianChick
04/11/2008 03:01 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         

Good one. You've really got me wondering exactly what Spike is up to. Obviously kicking some Demon ass for his benifactor, but in what manner? I keep thinking its some sort of Demon Gladiator Ring. But only you know for sure. I'm hoping she finds out the truth about Angelus. I just want her to know. Not that she can hate him or for you to write paragraphs on Angel bashing (I usually don't care for that kind of stuff never rings true for me), I just think it would be nice for her to know. If you don't go there I understand, after all he's not in the picture at the moment.

Favorite line:  “Aww, honey…you stole for me?” It's something I know he would say, and I loved it.

I loved that tense moment  for Dawn and Spike as they anxiously awaited Buffy's reaction to the money. Also I can't help but notice you in Buffy there at the end. I know you know what I mean. Love it and you! Now off to read the little bit at your lj. 

 

The demon fighting ring is a popular theory, but my lips are sealed until it is exposed in the story. I just hope that the truth won't disappoint any of my readers. Few readers have mentioned Spike's decision not to tell Buffy about Angel(us), but I think it was one of the biggest indications of his feelings for her. How tempting it would have been for him to take that opportunity and make her hate his erstwhile rival, yet he thought about how it would hurt her and decided not to. That doesn't mean she won't find out, of course; I was just proud of him for showing that thoughtfulness and maturity. Thanks so much for the review.

04/11/2008 07:36 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
She's actually listening for a change instead of reacting. I like the story of how Dawn got their "dad" to send money. Spike has a lovely imagination. Hopefully now their father won't make a "hey, did I hear your mom died?" call and screw things up.
Considering what a deadbeat Hank is, I don't think we have to worry about him calling up and exposing the ruse. Still ... lots of other things can go wrong. Thanks for the review.

Annakins
04/11/2008 03:11 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Aw. Spike's such a cute little liar. And aren't him and Dawn great at schemeing?

Love it, write more soon.
They do make good partners in crime, don't they? I just love writing them. Despite his age, Spike really doesn't have a lot  more maturity than Dawn. Thanks for the review!

04/11/2008 02:28 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
awwwww.... that's so frickin cute!!!!
i loved it!
wonder how long spike's gonna be able to keep goin bout in secret thou...
can't wait for more!
i must say, your writing is brilliant.
~liz
Thank you! I had a good time finally being able to write a relaxed, happy scene between them. Especially the bit near the end where his head is in her lap. I had this great image in my head when I wrote that ... I would love to be in Buffy's place at that moment.

04/11/2008 12:37 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Another wonderful chapter!  Hopefully Buffy bought the ruse.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Miss. Onyx
04/10/2008 11:31 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
awww.....such a good chapter. I love this story more update UB....you are the QUEEN!
I am the queen. BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME!!! lol. Just kidding. But I did just update and I hope you enjoy it. Many hugs to you for the review.

04/10/2008 05:59 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Very sweet chapter, can't wait for more!
Thank you! I just posted the new chapter and I hope you enjoy it just as much.

04/10/2008 02:17 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
This was the best chapter yet! I loved the ending.
Thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed it.

04/10/2008 02:01 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
God, really excellent chapter, UB. Really touching at the end, even if Buffy thought the monsy came from her dad. But by her reaction to Sike buying dinner, maybe she isn't so opposed to him helping out if he only pitched her the idea. Looking foward to when you update again.
Thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was such a relief to take a break from the angst. In regards to the money issue, I think Spike isn't worried about Buffy's pride preventing her from letting him help so much as afraid of what she would do if she knew exactly how he was getting the money in order to help. As he told Dawn in a previous chapter, there is no method he can use to earn money that she would approve of.

ya_lublyu_tebya
04/10/2008 12:52 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Lovely chapter. Some very nice snuggling and general affection. Worried about Spike though- he's gonna get himself badly hurt. More please!
Thank you! I'm sure Spike needed that snuggling to get ready for whatever comes next.

04/10/2008 11:34 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Another excellent chapter!  Lovely bit of Spike and Buffy time, and the fact that Buffy bought the "money from Dad" bit (though really, no reason why she should suspect it's not from him).  I just wonder what will happen when what Spike's doing comes out.  And will we find out what Spike thought of Halloween night?  Great update!
Thank you so much! It was nice being able to take a break from the angst and just let the two of them take care of each other. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

IT
04/10/2008 08:32 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Things are looking up.  I just wonder how long the partners-in-crime will be able to keep up the charade!  I hope Spike doesn't get hurt too much more....

Lovely writing between Spike and Dawn.  You've really captured their relationship nicely.  

Looking forward to more!

 
Dawn and Spike have such wonderful chemistry that writing them is a pleasure. I'm glad you think I'm doing their relationship justice. Thanks for the review.

darknightofthesoul
04/10/2008 05:52 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
This story just keeps getting better and better.
That is a compliment indeed. Thank you!

kim
04/10/2008 05:05 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

Love this chapter to bits.
I'm so glad. Thank you!

Cas
04/10/2008 03:31 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Liked Spike's explanation of why he reacted to Buffy the way he did - makes sense in a way.  Also have a clearer ides of how Spike is earning this money.  But how often is he planning on 'working?'  Wouldn't it have just been easier to really have Dawn call and rail on her father.  Might've worked, if she could've found a number.
I'm sure it would have been easier for Spike if Dawn had called her dad. However, they couldn't even get in touch with Hank when their mother died, so I doubt Dawn could just track him down that easily. Even if she did, he's pretty established as a deadbeat dad, so I doubt it would do any good. Thanks so much for the review.

04/10/2008 03:25 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Darn your sinister attraction!  Distract us from the suspense of what Spike is doing by writing a chapter that is brilliant, funny, romantic, and moving.  Buffy's reaction is so perfect--I know what it's like to have that sudden feeling of relief after things have been bad, and Buffy embodied it completely.  So, now it's time to wait for 59.  59 is a good number.  Spike's DeSoto was a '59. 
Ooh, so I'm getting reviews from the LindsayBot now? Sweet. I have to admit ... I needed this chapter as a break from the angst. And, I'm sure Spike needed it too. Will you be offended if I tell you I find it frightening that you know the year of Spike's car? 

04/10/2008 03:20 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
How nice to have an update on this - this is one of my favorite WIP's - Hope that Spike's "money making" does not all go to hell -

How sweet of you to say. Thank you!

04/10/2008 03:00 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
and everybody (most importantly her roommates) could see them. - glad to see that Spike's current good behavior hasn't changed everything. 
lol. Nope, he's still the same Spike on the inside, no matter how hard he tries to prove otherwise. 

04/10/2008 02:51 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Oh my God; so how the hell is Spike getting the money??  Is it like a demon type Fight Club??  What's gonna happen to him??  ARGH!  You're absolutely killing me here!!!!  Please PLEASE update again soon, I'm dying!
lol. Don't die yet! You have to wait and see what the outcome will be.

04/10/2008 01:44 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Thanks for the update.
Thank you for reading and reviewing it!

04/10/2008 01:00 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
  One line is still sticking with me: Awww honey...you stole for me?'  LOL, I love it.  Very sweet chapter, love how Spike got to be petted and all content and kittenish.  And I'm still very curious to see what this new job of his is, cause it doesn't sound like the eggs he was looking after before...

  You've still got me hooked.  Can't get enough. 
You quoted one of my favorite lines!  It was so nice to allow Spike to be taken care of for a change. He really deserves it after all he's gone through for her. I'm happy you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks so much for reviewing it.

04/10/2008 12:51 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
A wonderful scene between them.  That seems to be going so well while the 'job' can only get worse!
Thank you! It was a relief to be able to take a break from the angst - and allow the characters to take a break from it. Poor Spike really deserved to be taken care of for a change. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

04/10/2008 12:43 am
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Dang girl you are ON!  Fantastic update.

So Spike's doing a sort of figth club thing then....OUCH!  This is a variation on his getting the crap knocked out of him by Glory in the TV timeline.....makes sense and might score a few points with the scoobie idiots if they find out.  Even Giles would have to respect his determination.

Love the comfort..time he get some!

He and Dawn are such perfect conspirators just like in canon.  Your voices are dead on.

Delighted he spilled (the evil part of me hopes she'll find out about Angelus anyway because I'd love her to clean his clock over his treatment of her William especially since he's still an ass).

“Wanted to kill you that much more, I reckon, but every time I tried I found that I couldn’t follow through with it. Couldn’t muster up the desire to really do it. Had you more than once, remember? Had you by the throat with the gem of Amara; let you go. Set the Order of Turaka on you; called them off. Helped you save the bloody world…and even before all that…on that first Halloween night I—” He stopped short."  Yes.  In canon that always struck me too.  The gem fight was one he could easily win (like Halloween).  Hell there is no way she SHOULD have been able to take the ring off...all he had to do was close his fist!  The order of Taraka was (according to Giles) a group that did not stop until the job was done.  Since they stopped, Spike obviously called them off (they were a diversion after all....he wasn't one to have a Slayer kill done FOR him!).

"I feel obligated to tell you that you look like the elephant man’s uglier cousin right now."  This made me laugh out loud and wince at the same time.

This is just perfect chapter after chapter, hon.  You've written a masterpiece.

Kathleen

Everyone is mentioning a fight club ... is it because Spike used the word "fisticuffs?" My goal is to keep everyone guessing about the plot right up until the last scene, so don't be surprised if you trip over a few red herrings along the way. I have to admit ... I loved writing the softer scenes between Spike and Buffy. There has been so much angst in this story, and it was wonderful to take a break from it for a while. And ... masterpiece? Um, pardon me while I pass out from happiness. You're such a sweetheart. ((hugs))

04/09/2008 11:54 pm
Chapter Fifty-Eight         
Thanks for the excellent update!
Thank you for reading it. I'm so happy you enjoyed it.

kathyshop
04/13/2008 02:20 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
You know, Xander can sometimes be so sanctimonious but I have a hard time really disliking him.  Just when you think he's a total a**, he "gets it" and transforms.

I always thought he was a much better friend to Buffy than Willow ever was, in spite of his judgmental ways.  Willow always things her way.  But for Xander, in the end, he's always there for Buffy and willing to make sacrifices for her.  He just needs time to wake up and let the "get it" sink in so that he can get it.

That's why I loved this chapter...because Xander remembered that his friendship with Buffy is more important than his righteousness and acted like a grown-up and showed her in a very sweet, Xan-man way.

I feel the very same way. Xander could be judgmental, hypocritical, and annoying - but so could everyone else on the series. He really does have a good heart, and I think if someone had actually pointed out the inconsistancies of his behavior on the show, he would have treated Spike differently. In fact, the only time I truly disliked his character was when he tried to axe Spike after seeing him sleep with Anya. But that was during season six when the writers seemed to have made all the characters except Spike absolutely horrible. At least in my eyes. Anyway, I'm glad you think "my" Xander is likeable and still in character. Thanks so much for the review.

kathyshop
04/13/2008 02:16 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
You know, Xander can sometimes be so sanctimonious but I have a hard time really disliking him.  Just when you think he's a total a**, he "gets it" and transforms.

I always thought he was a much better friend to Buffy than Willow ever was, in spite of his judgmental ways.  Willow always things her way.  But for Xander, in the end, he's always there for Buffy and willing to make sacrifices for her.  He just needs time to wake up and let the "get it" sink in so that he can get it.

That's why I loved this chapter...because Xander remembered that his friendship with Buffy is more important than his righteousness and acted like a grown-up and showed her in a very sweet, Xan-man way.

That's how I feel about Xander as well. The only time I felt a truly murderous rage was when he tried to axe Spike in season six, but I hated pretty much everyone but Spike in season six, so that doesn't count for much. In season seven, I think he was back to his old self. Thanks so much for the review!

04/11/2008 07:24 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
And Xander comes through with a useful apology substitute. I do wonder about Sunnydale residents sometimes--they go out at all hours of the night but still keep those demon blinders on. Spike's bank and library interludes illustrated that perfectly. 

Sometimes Sunnydale seems like a community for people like Forrest Gump ... functional and basically nice, but definitely dimmer than the average. I had a huge amount of fun writing the bank scene, although I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe because I had such a clear picture of what Spike looked like in my mind. Thanks for the review!

04/10/2008 03:09 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Ok, I thought I had reviewed, and then I looked to see if you had responded, and my review wasn't there!  Well, that won't do.  I keep wondering at the suspense being carried out so far.  The longer the wait, the greater the curiosity.  I think what I love the most about Buffy and Spike at this point in the story is that everything is a tenebrous dance.  They aren't perfectly sure in their relationship yet, and it's beautiful to watch.  Like when she takes her ring from him--such a sweet moment, but also fraught with that tension.  It's a small moment that is reflected in the greater scale with how Spike is deceiving Buffy in order to take care of her.  Ok, now I go to read 58!

lol. Bad you to miss reviewing a chapter! I was wondering what I'd done wrong.

The suspense about Spike's job is about to come to an end. Actually, I thought it would in chapter 58, but that ended up being quite a different chapter than I first anticipated, so I think the reveal will be made in chapter 59 instead. I'm glad I'm keeping you guys guessing. Thanks for the review!

IT
04/04/2008 06:55 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Will we get to find out what Spike did for the money?  Sounds like he had to kill something BIG!  
Xander is a pleasant surprise.  Maybe Tara next?
Thanks for the update.  Looking forward to more. 
Yep, it will be revealed to the readers in chapter 59. The other characters might be kept in the dark for a while, though... Thanks so much for the review!

04/04/2008 03:53 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
awesome awesome awesome chapter.  I am glad that Xander was at least trying.  I hope that Spike and Dawn get away with this for a while at least.  BUT I am sorry that he got hurt trying to help them.
Thank you! Xander isn't such a bad person, I think. He was just allowed to get away with being a pompous ass too long. If someone had given him a reality check the way Buffy did in the last chapter, I'm sure he would have reacted in a similar manner. It's just very easy to be hypocritical and judgmental, and I don't think he ever actually realized that he was being that way. The only real beef I have with him is his trying to axe Spike in season six, but I hated pretty much every character but Spike in season six, so that was just par for the course. Thanks for the review.

04/03/2008 08:57 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Good ole sneaky Spike!  And good that Xander unexpectedly turned around although I still have issues with him.  Still wondering about Spike's possibly nefarious activities....

To tell you the truth, I'm not a huge Xander fan either. He's irritating sometimes, but basically okay, just not someone I adore. But I wanted to be fair to his character and I don't think he was a bad person. Spike, however, is adorable no matter what he's doing. And we *will* find out what he's doing very soon. Thanks for the review.

04/03/2008 07:56 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Yay! Happiness for Buffy may soon occur? Just wonder how long it'll take for her to rumble Spike. and what IS his job..?

Spike's job will be revealed to the readers in chapter 59, I think. 'Til then, I hope I can keep you guessing. Thanks for the review!

04/03/2008 02:09 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Thank you for making Xander get it first.  Refreshing.
I'm glad you think so. I think Xander gets villainized a lot in fanfiction, and it isn't fair to the character. He can be hypocritical and judgmental, but that is true of every other character on the show. Thanks for the review.

04/03/2008 08:33 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
oh, i want more!!! omgsh have i told you yet how much i adore this fic? cuz i totally do. all my friends know about it too!!! ^_^

~liz
You're so sweet! I hope your friends enjoy it as well. Thanks for the recommendation!

04/03/2008 07:20 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
It's so good to have this update - been a while but worth the wait - hope things don't explode on Spike well intended money making scheme.  Hope you can bring us another update soon.
I'm so sorry it took so long. Life got hectic - an ankle was broken - and Microsoft Word went unopened. My Muse is being much kinder now, so I hope that future updates will be coming in a timely manner. Thanks so much for the review.

04/03/2008 05:30 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Totally told myself I would read and go to bed, but I was so excited that I couldn't stop writing   Here goes:

"Although Xander jumped to his girlfriend’s defense, his expression and tone seemed uncertain. For the first time, Buffy thought she saw something akin to understanding in his eyes."

One of the things that stands out in your writing is the character development.  (Duh)  It's evident that you put a lot of thought into how and what each character thinks, and you always tailor their actions, words, etc., to the specific situation.  Canon Xander would not--and did not--have this reaction to finding out about Buffy and Spike.  Canon Xander constantly stood in denial of Anya's past and did everything he could to pretend that she wasn't an 1100-year-old ex-demon who killed thousands upon thousands of people and started a war.  He failed to see the similarities between his relationship with Anya and Buffy's relationships with vampires. 

There are a few differences between FtTP and the canon that may have helped to perpetuate his denial.  In the canon, Buffy never pointed out to Xander that he overlooked Anya's past because he loved her.  In FtTP, Buffy makes Xander aware that to poo-poo her relationship with Spike on the basis of his being a vampire is hypocritical of Xander.  It helps him to take a look at himself and to try to understand how Buffy can put Spike’s past aside, as he has done with Anya’s past.

 

Also, Canon Xander did not find out the truth from his best friend, but from his worst fiend (sorry, couldn't resist).  In FtTP, Buffy is open with her friends and Giles about her relationship.  Canon Xander had to have felt slighted at Buffy’s concealment of her affair with Spike.  They were best friends; best friends share.  Buffy is upfront with Xander and everyone else in FtTP, no hurt feelings of her hiding things from him, no hearing from Spike that Buffy’s been boinking the very being that Xander has insisted she’d never boink just after Spike boinked Anya

 

In Canon Xander's defense, he was awfully thick about many things, not just Anya's demony past; and he definitely changed his attitude toward the Buffy and Spike relationship once Anya became a demon again and he still loved her anyway.  But without examining his own relationship with Anya, Xander may never have come to understand Buffy and her vamps.  Once again, you’ve made a seemingly small change to the canonical events and made the characters react in a logical, believable way for a completely different outcome.  Guess those changes aren’t so small after all

Whee! An Immortal Beloved psychologically analytical post!

What drove me crazy on the series was that no one pointed out Xander's hypocrisy to him. I think it's really only human to avoid an issue one is uncomfortable with - and Xander had a really big, uncomfortable issue! If the Scoobies had ever addressed the matter with him instead of standing quietly by as he squelched Anya's every attempt to talk about her past, then maybe he could have a confronted his own feelings and moved on. As it was, I often thought he took his feelings of confusion out on Spike. While Xander's attempted axing of Spike (in season six) made me absolutely hate his character for many months, season seven allowed him to redeem himself in my eyes - somewhat - and understand that while he has many faults, he is not a bad person. In fact, he's no more flawed than the rest of them. They're a pretty screwed up bunch.

Thanks for the review!

Leanne
04/03/2008 04:24 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         

"I grabbed your post out of the letter box on my way in"

You're killing me with the suspense!!!  Plus I'm worried about Spike getting so beat up on that secret job. It's unlike him to let something sneak up on him like that. Sigh.. .

Love this story - thanks for keeping up with it!

I'm a master of suspense ... or, at least, a whore for it. But Spike's job will be revealed in another couple of chapters. I hope I can keep the suspense flowing until then. Thanks for the review.

04/03/2008 04:22 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Liked your portrayal of Xander - far more accurate and sympathetic view of his character than he usually gets around here.  Even when he's good, Spike is the very devil. 
That's how I feel about Xander, too. He isn't my favorite character, but he often gets treated as a villain in fanfic, which is hardly accurate. He's flawed, but all of them are. I'm glad you think I did a good job with his scene. Thanks so much for the review.

Cas
04/03/2008 04:15 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
So glad to see an update!  I can guess what Spike put in the post, but still can't figure out exactly what it is he is doing to earn all that cash.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it - and I hope I can keep you guessing.

04/03/2008 04:05 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Love it and love you, though I have to say I think I understand what you ment by it feeling flat. Just some constructive critizism, but in the begining I was trying to read between the lines to see where you were going with it. I'm used to you spelling everything out in detail and it was lacking that here. I guess what I'm trying to say is that reading it, it started off bumpy then after the scene in the crypt the smooth flow kicked in, and I loved every minute of it as usual.

My fav's were the following images...

He peered across the desk, restlessly bobbing on his heels until the teller had proven all the bills to be authentic

Spike pocketed his receipt, displayed two fingers at the receptionist on the way to the door, and then exited the building with an overwhelming sense of relief.


Very typical Spike. Outward a show of cocky confidence, while inside a bundle of nerves resides.


Those were the concerns I had about the beginning of the chapter, but I think I just got to the point where I had to post it as-is or resign myself to the fact that I would never finish it. Spike's salute to the receptionist on his way out of the bank was one of my favorite parts; he needed that to blow off a bit of tension. Thanks for the review

04/03/2008 04:02 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Oh my, what a lovely update.  Good to see Xander; of all people coming around.  I hope we'll see more soon!
Thank you! To me, Xander had no excuse not to come around after Buffy confronted him about the similarities between Anya and Spike. He might come off as self-righteous and judgmental at times (in the series and my fic), but I definitely don't think he's a bad person. I wish they had made him a little more consistant and likable in season six of BtVS. His attempt to axe Spike in "Seeing Red" really made me lose respect fo him. Luckily, he bounced back in season seven.

jess
04/03/2008 03:52 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
oh spikey why can't you just tell her what your up too. and why does buffy have to be such a hard ass. still loving the story though keep it up. i almost thought you'd forgotten about us.
Spike won't tell her because he thinks she won't take the money, and right now he believes money is the most important issue. He's doing the wrong thing by deceiving her, but he's doing it for the right reason (he loves her and wants to help her). Does that make it okay? Well, I guess that's all up to Buffy. Thanks for the review.

Annakins
04/03/2008 02:50 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
“I grabbed your post out of the letter box on my way in. Oh and I have no idea where this wad ofcash came from, luv..."

How conspicuous can he be? I agree with him, though: Willow and Tara should pay rent. Reguardless of the bacon Spike's rakin' in...
Love the story so far. Xander's moere understsnding than we give him credit for sometimes.

ROFL - Yeah, he let his enthusiasm get ahead of him a bit, but he does have most of his bases covered. Thanks for the review.

04/03/2008 02:28 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
 Yay, an update! I really loved the trouble Spike went through for the bank and the letter. What an effort it must've been for him to be civil...well, except for the two-finger salute at the end! And Xander coming to apologise, in his own way, was just great.

Well, I've got to say...the two-finger salute was my favorite part and a great relief to Spike. You're right, the poor boy had to put a lot of effort behind his display of good manners and that was his way of releasing the tension. Although he isn't one of my favorite characters, I always thought Xander got a bit of a raw deal in fanfic. True, he became a self-righteous horse's ass in season six, but look at what all the others became. He wasn't a perfect character, but I don't think he was an evil one either. Since Buffy has actually taken the time to confront him about the similarities between Spike and Anya, I think he is too intelligent not to consider them himself. Thanks for the review.

04/03/2008 02:13 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Great chapter; i'm dying to know just what it is that Spike's doing to get the money; I just know it's going to be something that Buffy will have to take him to task for...  Poor Spike; he tries so hard!!!  Can't wait for more; please update again soon!
Is it better to do the wrong thing for the right reasons or the right thing for the wrong reasons? I think the BtVS writers raised that question more than once, yet they never really seemed to answer it. In Spike's opinion, what he's doing can't be wrong because he has good intentions behind it. But does that really make it okay to deceive her? It's one of the things I'm hoping to explore. Thanks for the review.

June
04/03/2008 12:27 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Great update, glad to see it. Thought it was interesting to say that spike wasn't used to her friends treating him like a human.  I wonder how he'll treat them back if it keeps up, and how much William might accidentally slip through. Very worried about whatever hurt Spike and what will happen if buffy finds out about the money. good job!
You're the first person who has mentioned the..."like a human"...I was beginning to think no one noticed it. lol. Thanks for the review!

Ann
04/03/2008 12:24 am
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
"Blue eyes wide and innocent..."  SPIKE! I love it.
This is a great chapter and I'm glad Xander can be so mature, but still in character like S7 Xander, and notice his thing with Anya is similar. Spike's plan for getting money to Buffy is also realistic and I think your description of his outfit and the bank teller's reaction are spot on. Now, of course, I can't wait to read more to see the other reactions, and what is going to happen to the 'perfect ring'!

One of the (many) things I love about JM is the way he can convey his character's feelings without ever having to say a word, so I love to describe the emotion in Spike's eyes whenever I can--even when that emotion might be less than genuine. Thanks for the review.

04/02/2008 11:23 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
I hope this money business doesn't cause more grief for Spike - he deserves a break.  Xander was surprisingly decent for once.
Xander is capable of changing and of learning. For some reason, on the series, none of his friends ever tried to push him into doing so. I'm glad you liked him in this chapter. Thanks so much for the review!

04/02/2008 10:59 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
So excited for an update!  I'm very worried about Spike's "job" not being on the up-and-up, but hopefully things will be ok for a while.  Love seeing Xander put his feelings aside to actually be supportive.  Most fics portray him as the most irrational one of the bunch, so it's nice to see a change.
That's actually a pet peeve of mine in fanfic. While I'm not really a Xander fan, I do think that he had his good points as well as bad. And I do think he's capable of change. Thanks so much for the review. I really appreciate.

Pam S
04/02/2008 10:42 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Obviously had to be fighting for money.. and she thinks he just ... had a run in with a demon.. So now for his $5000.. and a letter about some bank clerical error on their part I assume...

 And still no job from her "friends" and a little help with the house payment.. $3000.. and ...  his winnngs won't go far.. Sacrifice.. Dawn wlll have to figure it out if she gave him the account number..

 
Obviously? Mm ... best not bet your own money on the outcome of the plot. I love me some red herrings, I do. The letter won't appear to be from the bank, though. In chapter Fifty-Five, Spike and Dawn hatched a plot to make it appear that Hank Summers decided to start paying the child support he owed Dawn. You're certainly right about the $5,000 not going very far. When I was young, I thought that $1,000 was an enormous amount, but now that I'm an adult I see how insignificant it can seem in the face of bills. Thanks so much for the review. I really appreciate your taking the time to tell me what you think about the chapter.

04/02/2008 10:36 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww   extra snarky to make a good cover?   Great chapter!  Can't wait for MORE MORE MORE~
That cocky attitude hides so many insecurities, doesn't it? Of course, right now he's hiding a lot more than insecurities. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you very much for taking the time to review it.

04/02/2008 10:05 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Knew he wanted to see her face! 

Wonder at the attack the night before....have a feeling more was going on than Spike knows andit doesn't bode well either.

Xander is being reasonable and I'm a bit scared.  He was like this in S7 IMHO but don't know if I can believe it at the moment.....hope it's real though because he does have his good points and Buffy needs someone beyond Dawn in her corner.

Nothing to worry about here....nicely done chapter.  Love the suspicion at the bank (profiling.....oh yeah!).  I picture him looking a lot like that Dresden Files book cover that look so much like JM with the hat and so forth.  Spike is the only vampire to just go on like any human making allowances for the flamability but not letting it keep him to a night shift schedule LOL.

Worrying that Riley is gong to show up.  Worrying that this "suit" is setting Spike up in some way.  Worrying that Buffy won't have sense enough to stand by her man....so many worries, actually!  Whew....glad for the updates.

As always, character voices are perfect and plot is compelling.

Kathleen
Thank you for the review! I love reading your thoughts because you always present them so well and in such detail. This review is no exception, but it's so full of supposition, I can't answer it properly for fear I'll give something away. lol. I'm so happy that you enjoyed the chapter and thought the characterizations are good. As you know, this chapter put me through the wringer ... more than once. I'm just happy that it's finally over. Now if only the next one will play nice ...

ya_lublyu_tebya
04/02/2008 09:48 pm
Chapter Fifty-Seven         
Bless him. I bet he does that innocent look real well. Glad Xander's trying to deal. More please!
Words cannot describe how much I loved it when JM put on his wounded puppy face while playing Spike...gorgeous blue eyes that can look so sweet at times and so chilling at others. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks so much for taking the time to review.

kathyshop
04/13/2008 02:11 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
This story is wonderfully written.  Good plotting with bang-on characterizations. Sooo looking forward to its continuation.

I've came into the story late and have been reading from the very start but just had to stop and post after this chapter...

Giles is a pompous git in this chapter....well in most of the chapters so far.  Boo him!

Buffy's comments about Anya are fabulous, with just the right amount of in-their-faceness.  I loved the line "why Anya is allowed to sit at that table..."  Go Buffy!

Now if she would just wise up and realize that the witches are taking advantage of her.  Well, at least Willow is.  I just love Tara too much to think ill of her!

Keep writing!
Thank you so much! This has been such a long road for me, and my goal is to reach a realistic and satisfying end without compromising either the characters or plot. Your review helps me believe I can get there and I really appreciate the support.

kathyshop
04/13/2008 02:07 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
This story is wonderfully written.  Good plotting with bang-on characterizations. Sooo looking forward to its continuation.

I've came into the story late and have been reading from the very start but just had to stop and post after this chapter...

Giles is a pompous git in this chapter....well in most of the chapters so far.  Boo him!

Buffy's comments about Anya are fabulous, with just the right amount of in-their-faceness.  I loved the line "why Anya is allowed to sit at that table..."  Go Buffy!

Now if she would just wise up and realize that the witches are taking advantage of her.  Well, at least Willow is.  I just love Tara too much to think ill of her!

Keep writing!
Thank you! It's wonderful to know that you're enjoying the story so much. Giles irritated a lot of readers in this chapter, I think. I know he irritated me as I wrote him! lol. But I don't think he's a bad man at heart, just very misguided.

Killer Angel
03/14/2008 02:21 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Oh, no Spike!  What are you up to now?

This story is so great.  I loved every word of it, and cannot wait to read more!

Spike is willing to do anything to keep Buffy happy and that definitely includes things that put him in danger. We'll find out exactly what he's doing in the next chapter or two. Until then ... I love to keep you guys on edge.

Thanks so much for the review!

Morningstar
03/02/2008 07:01 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Damn girl, this shit is good. you need to start writing faster

02/29/2008 03:41 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
I must have been logged out when I posted my comment.  This was me, IB:

From here, "All that evening, Spike lay in a sprawl atop the hard slab of the sarcophagus, his blue eyes fixed on the clouds of dust motes drifting near the stone supports of the cobwebbed ceiling" to here, "Finally, she was exposed and all his, and he kissed his way along her breastbone and her stomach…all the way down to the place that had been his undoing" is hard evidence of your brilliance.  I know, I keep saying that, but I feel the need to repeat myself everytime I read a passage like this one.  You had my rapt attention from the very first sentence, though I admit that I zoned out for a moment picturing Spike naked

I read this last night, but didn't have time to comment, mostly because I was trying to translate Latin   I even downloaded a translator...Then I remembered that Husband took Latin in school, and there's a dictionary on the shelf   The Bible reference is used very well.  In one little sentence, we are reminded that Spike is not the leather-clad hoodlum that he appears to be: he's well-educated from an era when Latin wasn't quite dead and was once a respectable Christian man.  In other words, he was William.  He still is.

02/29/2008 12:03 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
you are amazing. 

02/28/2008 07:00 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
I'm very proud of Buffy! She finally stood up to all of them, and Anya. Well, you gotta love her.

For a moment there I had a flash of Ethan standing in the doorway of Spike's crypt. But he knows what Ethan looks like, right? And why would I think that you would have him team up with Ethan. *shrugs*

Still enjoying this greatly. Looking foward to your next installment! Keep up the awesome work!

02/28/2008 04:03 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Seriously hoping that Spike doesn't screw it up big time now that Buffy seems to have come around!

02/27/2008 02:07 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Loved Buffy standing up to Giles , but I'm a bit scared for Spike cause... well, he is going to screw up isn't he?

02/27/2008 10:32 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Finally, Buffy makes a point with the "in control of her life" crowd. Now I don't dislike Anya at all (always thought her demon knowledge was seriously underutilized), but Buffy does have a very good point. Not to mention that every single one of the Scoobies has done something destructive in their lives. Eyghon, anyone? What was that, hyena-boy almost rapist? And Ms. Almost-A-Vengeance-Demon over Veruca?

02/27/2008 05:39 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
excellent scene with buffy confronting  the scoobies. loved anya. very good read, thank you very scary last line.

02/27/2008 03:46 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Nice short chapter. Going to cut right to it and give my favorite part straight up...


“How many people have you killed?” Buffy demanded. “How many lives have you ruined and people have you tormented? You didn’t have to do anything you did—you had free will and you knew right from wrong. You enjoyed the things you did—you still enjoy the memory of them—and you’re somehow considered better than Spike?”

“She’s over a thousand years old!” she persisted, focusing her gaze on him now, as well as Anya. “Spike isn’t even a hundred and fifty. You do the math and tell me whose tally of victims runs higher, and then you tell me why Anya is allowed to sit at that table with everyone else while Spike is considered so disgusting people are paying me to stay away from him!”

Thank you for adding this crucial point to your story. One I know that bothers other Spike/Spuffy fans as much as it does me. Anya, over a thousand year old 'ex' demon who killed not to mention probably tortured ( after all she was a vengeance demon) many people is excepted by everyone, yet Spike who was/is a harmless chipped vamp is still hated. I do seem to remember a conversation that Giles had with Spike in The I In Team where he said "has it occurred to you that there might be a higher purpose--" At that moment Giles even suspected that he could be more.  Yet the writers keep forcing the issue that Spike is evil and that everyone must hate him. Too bad that's not what the fans wanted. Thanks for pointing out the contradiction.

As for your last paragraph, all I can say is ..its an ill wind that blows no good.
-

02/27/2008 03:35 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
From here, "All that evening, Spike lay in a sprawl atop the hard slab of the sarcophagus, his blue eyes fixed on the clouds of dust motes drifting near the stone supports of the cobwebbed ceiling" to here, "Finally, she was exposed and all his, and he kissed his way along her breastbone and her stomach…all the way down to the place that had been his undoing" is hard evidence of your brilliance.  I know, I keep saying that, but I feel the need to repeat myself everytime I read a passage like this one.  You had my rapt attention from the very first sentence, though I admit that I zoned out for a moment picturing Spike naked

I read this last night, but didn't have time to comment, mostly because I was trying to translate Latin   I even downloaded a translator...Then I remembered that Husband took Latin in school, and there's a dictionary on the shelf   The Bible reference is used very well.  In one little sentence, we are reminded that Spike is not the leather-clad hoodlum that he appears to be: he's well-educated from an era when Latin wasn't quite dead and was once a respectable Christian man.  In other words, he was William.  He still is.

02/27/2008 01:34 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
All that evening, Spike lay in a sprawl atop the hard slab of the sarcophagus, his blue eyes fixed on the clouds of dust motes drifting near the stone supports of the cobwebbed ceiling. He was naked, his hair disheveled and his neck bruised, his lips stained the same faint red as the sunset sky outside. He hadn’t set his feet on the floor since Buffy had left almost nine hours before; he hadn’t eaten. He hadn’t even moved. He’d done nothing but lie on his back, gazing upward. Though unsmiling, his swollen mouth held a vague suggestion of happiness, the bottom lip drooping, unneeded breath rasping over it with lifelike regularity. The long fingers of his left hand tangled in silky material of the underwear she’d left behind, but he didn’t feel that any more than he actually saw the cracked ceiling on which his eyes were trained. He wasn’t really there, wasn’t really alone, and the passage of time meant nothing because it was still last night and she was with him.

Now that is what they call "afterglow."  I call it hazy sensual perfection.

Also, I don't think I've mentioned before, but I really like your characterization of the other characters, too.  Yes, Giles makes me want to throw things, but you are doing a tremendous job of giving him motive.  If he ends up being a villain in all this, then he will be a great villain, because he'll think he's doing the right thing for the person he loves.

Whoa.  That last bit could have been about Spike.  Well, while I'm waiting on tenderhooks, I'll go look up the Latin phrases you used.  Thank you so much for updating!

02/26/2008 11:56 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Thanks for the update.

02/26/2008 06:48 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Dear besotted vampire!  I can picture him laying there lost in the memory of her...very very visual!

<i>"But, in here—” she placed a hand over his unbeating heart “—you’re exactly the same. You tried to tell me; I just wasn’t ready to listen until now.”</i> Yes she really does get it finally...hope she holds onto that fact as time passes and everyone nibbles at her resolve.
<i>"Sex with her had little to do with the ultimate climax and everything to do with the road that led them there. It was the joining that mattered to him, her body locking with his, wrapped around him so tightly that for the moment, at least, he didn’t have to worry about her slipping away. He would have felt the same sort of satisfaction had she let him crawl into her head, her heart. If he could have, he would have nestled into the soft bed of her temporal lobe or been held by the pulsing muscles of her right atrium. He would have become so deeply embedded that she couldn’t ignore him or run away; he would have been part of her."</i> OH yes, you've caught the intensity of his love, he need there! 
<i>"The Order of Turaka—the Gem of Amara—even Adam—what would have happened if any of those schemes went according to his plans?"</i> An duh....I remember Giles said the der of Turaka NEVER stopped and yet they did....obviously Spike had to have called them off as their purpose had been to be a distraction.  HE was winning when they fought over the Gem....only when he deliberately goaded her into fury did she win and then she sure got that ring off easily....I think he let her win to a degree (subconsciously)..as for Adam...he just wanted the chip out and they had NOT been nice to him.  Not a good argument Giles!

Oh dear I am so afraid that Spike is being set up (and also afraid Giles may try to stake him "for Buffy' good" for that matter).  Just know something bad is in the works for our couple. How nice if this Buffy gave him the benefit of the doubt now.

EXCEPTIONAL chapter!  You just keep the level of quality at the highest.

Kathleen


02/26/2008 03:07 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Excellent chapter, I'm guessing Spike is about to get himself into a heap of trouble!

02/26/2008 02:53 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
same man as before, but he didn’t want her to think he was the same person - nice distinction. 

Oh boy - is Buffy going to be disappointed.

02/26/2008 01:15 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Oh no spiiiiike think!!!! think!!!

02/26/2008 12:33 pm
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.  You're killing me here.  Absolutely killing me.  What the hell is it Spike is doing to earn money???  OMG!!!  You're driving me nuts.  Loved loved loved the scene b/n B & S when she told him he doesn't have to change who he is; thank GOD for Dawn!!  Also loved the confrontation b/n B & the Scoobs; finally someone brings up Anya's past!!  I never understood why she was accepted and Spike wasn't??  Amazing chapter; can't wait to see what happens next; update soon, pretty please?  I'll give you a cookie if you update soon!!!  LOL!!

02/26/2008 09:58 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
I found this particularly hilarious for some reason:  "'Well,' Anya said finally, using the chipper voice that almost always preceded a divulgence of something terrible..."

And yay for Spike's afterglow!  And yay yay for Buffy standing up to the group!  Well, mainly to Giles, but yay!  And evil Giles, lying to her all this time.  Even though he was trying to protect her, but still.  And I just hope Spike isn't doing anything TOO awful to get that money....   Another excellent chapter!

Lou
02/26/2008 09:35 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
Lovely line - she was seawater to a drowning man.  I see Spike is up for yet another setback.  His head is so full of Buffy, he's maybe not being as careful as he should!

Deb
02/26/2008 09:21 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
An emotional roller coaster of resolution and falling apart.  That's the brilliant quality of your writing.  You give us hope and then stomp on it a bit.  Lovely update.  Amazing story! 

02/26/2008 07:25 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
It's so nice to have an update - still loving the story and hope that you can bring us the next chapter soon - what in the world is Spike getting himself into - especially after all the show of support from Buffy and Dawn. 

Reb
02/26/2008 07:14 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
"...it was a triumph just to be able to confront them this way..."

I'm so glad she recognizes a victory that doesn't involve a stake!

02/26/2008 06:16 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
"She has a point. I have killed a lot of people.”

Hell, Anya started a *war*.  And she chose to become a demon, twice.  Only took them four years to finally point that out.

And I'm sure that bit in the end was Latin, dude, I have no idea what it means.

"Not even once did it occur to him that he might not be doing the right thing."

Well...shades of gray, and all that.  A lot of people make crazy sacrifices and do, well...funny things for the one's they love.  And man, talk about fangirl-ism--I can whitewash almost anything he does, can't I? 
You're right, the phrases at the end are Latin. Spike's new employer tells him that "time waits for no man." Spike replies with: "Now let thy servant depart," which is actually a quote from the Bible. (Luke 2:29, "He blessed God, and said, Lord, now let thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word."

Whitewashing Spike's past is highly tempting for his fans, isn't it? No matter what, he can't possibly be worse than Anya anyway. Thanks for the review.

kim
02/26/2008 06:12 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
You build us up with hope, then take us right back to worrying with that last statement!!!

And really, pointing out Anya was the only response Bufy *could* give in that moment.....they won't believe her justifications, except for Anya, who already knows the truth and doesn't need to be convinced, anyway.

Laura
02/26/2008 06:09 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
The suspense! I love this story

02/26/2008 05:12 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         
oh god now what

come on let him do good so Buffy doesn't have to defend him again

Great chapter!

Ashley
02/26/2008 04:44 am
Chapter Fifty-Six         

Spike's daydreaming is great and very descriptive.  I love strong, resolved Buffy and how she pointed out Anya's less-than-pleasant past (classic Anya response as well).  The last line is not a good sign, but hopefully, the consequences won't stir the pot too much.

pearlseed
04/16/2008 10:54 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Damn, girl got some!!  Nearly as big as church bells I'd wager!!  After that, put all the other ones in a barrel and ship them off please.  I find myself not even liking Tara at this point.  Too bad Angelus can't go whatever on Giles behind at this point and I usually love Ripper just cos.  This story needs a dog right now, cos I'm not really happy with most any of the humans. 
lol. Given the direction of the story at the moment, if I did add a dog it would probably be a biter. Thanks for the review.

Dawnofme
02/24/2008 03:49 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
I finally got a chance to read this.  Loved it.  Great scene at the end with Buffy and Spike.   Good stuff and I can't wait for more.
A belated thank you for the review. I really appreciate it. *hugs*

AntarianChick
02/22/2008 08:34 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
OY! I'm so late with reading this. Just back from Mexico and trying to get over the lovely sickness I brought back with me. Thus, I just finished reading this chapter. This just keeps getting better and better. I'm beginning to think this story will never have an end. Can you believe how long you've been writing it?!  I adore this chapter! The Dawn/Spike interactions were superb. I'll skip that for the moment though and get to the second half. I'll loving the similarities between this Buffy and S5/6 of Buffy. I guess I'm tainted by S7 Buffy but I really don't think even if this was canon that she would have given up Spike. One it wouldn't have been a secretative relationship any longer so that is a moot point and second, Buffy wouldn't allow the "Council of Wankers" to control her. Spike in this story I don't feel is really any different than that of canon Spike. He still loves with all that he is and does what he can to prove it. And if that means giving up what makes him comfortable than he does it.

Which brings me back to the first half of the chapter. Dawn and Spike, *sigh* I'll forever be a fan just for the way you write them. The two of them together is sure to bring about a comment that is going to make me laugh, and you've done it again here. You had me LOL with the first and then LMAO with the second of my favorite lines/part of this chapter.

1.  “Right, then. Sorry about that.” He dropped the cigarette into her can of soda. “Is this better?”

The girl peered into her Pepsi with dismay, and Dawn shot Spike a dirty look as she hefted her bulging book-bag over her shoulders.

“Sorry, Caitlyn. He doesn’t get out of the house much.” She climbed to her feet and grabbed Spike’s arm, pulling him toward the exit. “I’ll see you later, guys.”


2. The three girls watched them leave, identical looks of confusion on their faces.

“Wow,” Caitlyn said finally. “Dawn’s father is hot.”  

*LOL* Love it! Even though I don't have a clue as to how this girl looks like I could so see her expression when he did that. That's just damn priceless. Classic Spike. And how did I know she was going to say that!? What better punch line I guess.

P.S. Can I just say how Dawn is way more mature and insightful than some others in this fic? Though as with Spikes comment about being in love, shows she still has a lot to learn.


Welcome back from Mexico. I'm sorry to hear about the illness, but I hope the rest of the trip was nice. Sorry I'm so late in answering your review. I keep getting behind in everything, but hopefully that will change soon. Everyone had a favorite scene in this chapter and everyone's is different; it's so neat to hear them. I've got to admit, the scene you picked is one I'm very proud of. Spike is such a fun character. Even when he's being good he can't help acting naughty. Thanks for the review.

Andrea
02/21/2008 09:12 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
I love this fic. I worship you! I love the tone in the story, Spike, the way you present the characters, Spike, the length of each chapter, did I mention Spike? Keep up the wonderful job. I hope to read more soon!
Wow! I'm a subject of worship? Wicked cool. Thank you!

Laura
02/18/2008 07:09 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Love a strong confident Buffy!
I'm happy you do. Thank you!

02/18/2008 05:46 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
very good read, thank you. great job with dawn and buffy's last line is fantastic. now i wait for spike's plan to lead to disaster.
Thank you! And poor Spike. The best laid plans of mice and men ... and vampires ... 

02/17/2008 12:33 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
I have the flu so this is going to be short. *sorry*

I loved the update. Though it pissed me off that Spike felt that he needed to change for Buffy to accept him. Thanks to Dawn bring her around though Buffy has seen the error of her ways. But how long with that last? She's going to find out how Spike is getting money, I just know it. Can't wait for more!
I'm so sorry I'm late in answering your review. I'm sure you're better by now, but I hope the flu didn't go too hard with you. *hugs* I really appreciate your taking the time to review during an illness. Thank you.

kamla
02/15/2008 12:22 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
that's what I'm talkin' about!! 
lol. It was a heady moment, wasn't it? Thanks for the review.

02/15/2008 12:18 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
can I just say  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE DAWN... She is a very calm voice in all of this and she is helping Buffy see how she is treating him.  Spike will do anything for her even change who he is.  And I am glad that she is putting the Council on notice.  I don't think the scooby's ever would have thought she would do such a thing.  But Dawn is right, she just needs to learn to be happy.
Dawn is one of my favorite characters to write. I think she was sadly underused (and misused) on the series, so it's fun to explore her here. She's emotional but smart and even though she's loyal to Spike, she isn't afraid to call him on behavior she thinks is unnecessary or inappropriate. I was almost afraid I used her to much in this chapter, but her interference really was necessary to help strengthen Buffy's resolve. Thanks so much for the review.

02/14/2008 04:33 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes! Now stick to your guns. Make the girls contribute or move, and tell Xander and Giles to butt out. Now, why do I think the next "control Buffy" attempt is going to be aimed at having Dawn removed from her custody if she doesn't dump Spike, as he is obviously a danger to them.
Interesting thoughts about how they might continue controlling Buffy. I'm keeping a tight lid on future plotlines, of course. I'm glad you liked the chapter. It ran a lot longer than I originally intended, but I didn't want to split it up because I thought it flowed  better this way. Thanks for the review.

02/14/2008 04:54 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Forgot one thing:

“Wow,” Caitlyn said finally. “Dawn’s father is hot.”


hee. I have to admit that I was proud of that scene.

02/14/2008 04:53 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
“Tell the Council I don’t like being propositioned.”

I read this chapter last night, and actually pumped my fist and yelled, "Yes!" when I read the last sentence.  I summoned Numfar and bade him to do the dance of joy   Then, I reread it tonight, and couldn't help but to notice your choice of word--propositioned.  Now, with just about any other writer, I must not think it meant anything other than what it sounds like: Buffy doesn't want the Council's money.  But, since it's you, and I know that you choose every word carefully, I thought, "Hmm, propositioned sounds like approaching a prostitute."  If Buffy were to take the Council's money, she would, in effect, be their prostitute to do with what they will as long as the meter doesn't run out.  Travers and his merry men (and Lydia) would have control over Buffy through money.  If they could tell her whom to date, then they could tell her how to run just about every other aspect of her life.  Buffy's not just telling them to piss off; she's saying, "You don't own me."  Go, Buffy!

Now, it's obvious that FtTP Buffy is behaving differently from canon Buffy.  Canon Season Sex Buffy would not have chosen Spike over cold hard cash.  She may have kept him a secret, but she still would have taken the money under the pretense of giving him up   However, FtTP Buffy's actions make complete sense.  Canon Buffy was broken almost beyond repair.  She was torn from heaven, and nothing she could do, save for dying yet again, could get that back for her.  FtTP Buffy was torn from her heaven on earth--her life with William--but she is not broken beyond repair.  What she has lost she has already regained: Spike. 

Buffy's reaction at having blood spilled on her (and I can't think of anybody who wouldn't be a little grossed out) made Spike think that she, too, wishes he were still human.  A part of her probably does.  But this is a Buffy who has known both human and vampire Spike, and she knows there are only small differences....like drinking blood

Spike's behavior of trying to change to please Buffy is in keeping with canon, but there is one difference.  Canon Spike changes his appearance and tells Buffy that he's willing to try turning his back on evil.  FtTP Spike has taken it a step further.  He's trying to hide the fact that he's a vampire.  Canon Spike never once expresses regret at being a vampire.  FtTP Spike does.  As a human, canon Spike didn't know Buffy, so he has no reason to regret not having her then.  In Chapter 53, Spike held Buffy's hand over his non-beating heart; he's happy to be with her, but he regrets not having her completely when he was human. 

It's interesting to see the subtle and not-so-subtle differences between the canon characters and the FtTP characters.  Any Spike in love is willing to do anything to keep that love, but he's trying to hide the very essence of his being.  Buffy has something now that she didn't have in canon.  Love.  She's tasted it, and she's trying to keep it.  They both thought that their love was lost forever.  Spike thought his Elizabeth dead.  Buffy thought her William undead.  But they're getting a second chance.  It's nice to see them taking it.

02/14/2008 04:50 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
“Tell the Council I don’t like being propositioned.”

I read this chapter last night, and actually pumped my fist and yelled, "Yes!" when I read the last sentence.  I summoned Numfar and bade him to do the dance of joy   Then, I reread it tonight, and couldn't help but to notice your choice of word--propositioned.  Now, with just about any other writer, I must not think it meant anything other than what it sounds like: Buffy doesn't want the Council's money.  But, since it's you, and I know that you choose every word carefully, I thought, "Hmm, propositioned sounds like approaching a prostitute."  If Buffy were to take the Council's money, she would, in effect, be their prostitute to do with what they will as long as the meter doesn't run out.  Travers and his merry men (and Lydia) would have control over Buffy through money.  If they could tell her whom to date, then they could tell her how to run just about every other aspect of her life.  Buffy's not just telling them to piss off; she's saying, "You don't own me."  Go, Buffy!

Now, it's obvious that FtTP Buffy is behaving differently from canon Buffy.  Canon Season Sex Buffy would not have chosen Spike over cold hard cash.  She may have kept him a secret, but she still would have taken the money under the pretense of giving him up   However, FtTP Buffy's actions make complete sense.  Canon Buffy was broken almost beyond repair.  She was torn from heaven, and nothing she could do, save for dying yet again, could get that back for her.  FtTP Buffy was torn from her heaven on earth--her life with William--but she is not broken beyond repair.  What she has lost she has already regained: Spike. 

Buffy's reaction at having blood spilled on her (and I can't think of anybody who wouldn't be a little grossed out) made Spike think that she, too, wishes he were still human.  A part of her probably does.  But this is a Buffy who has known both human and vampire Spike, and she knows there are only small differences....like drinking blood

Spike's behavior of trying to change to please Buffy is in keeping with canon, but there is one difference.  Canon Spike changes his appearance and tells Buffy that he's willing to try turning his back on evil.  FtTP Spike has taken it a step further.  He's trying to hide the fact that he's a vampire.  Canon Spike never once expresses regret at being a vampire.  FtTP Spike does.  As a human, canon Spike didn't know Buffy, so he has no reason to regret not having her then.  In Chapter 53, Spike held Buffy's hand over his non-beating heart; he's happy to be with her, but he regrets not having her completely when he was human. 

It's interesting to see the subtle and not-so-subtle differences between the canon characters and the FtTP characters.  Any Spike in love is willing to do anything to keep that love, but he's trying to hide the very essence of his being.  Buffy has something now that she didn't have in canon.  Love.  She's tasted it, and she's trying to keep it.  They both thought that their love was lost forever.  Spike thought his Elizabeth dead.  Buffy thought her William undead.  But they're getting a second chance.  It's nice to see them taking it.
*squee* I argued with my beta over the use of the word "proposition" so I'm glad you think it's appropriate. I agree completely that season six Buffy would have taken the money over Spike. She made a lot of choices in season six that FtTP Buffy wouldn't dream of because, as you said, she isn't broken. The hardness she was so concerned about after her mother's death has been lessened due to her relationship with William. He was so soft and so trustworthy that it allowed her to expose her vulnerability to him, which is something I don't think she was truly capable of doing since Angel left her. I can't imagine this Buffy beating on someone to express her self-hatred and I'm glad. I want her to be in character ... but I want her to be the character I loved, not the one I grew to resent and, at times, downright dislike. Poor Spike was so quick to misinterpret Buffy's reaction to the blood. I was hoping that readers would pick up on why and I *knew* that you would, which is why I just lurve you. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your review, but I greatly appreciate it. As always, the feedback gives me the warm fuzzies. Thank you.

02/14/2008 04:02 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         

HELLS YEAH!  That was awesome!  Buffy's doing what she wants, not what she's getting pressured into.  At last.  The suspense in this chapter--Wow!  I was afraid she came to the crypt to kill him, especially when she kept her back to him and picked up the dagger. 
You know I do the fangirl dance of squee every time you update, right?  So, this upcoming info is a little quibble that in no way detracts from the glory that is this story.  Just that, when Spike visited Dawn at school, he didn't have to sign in or get a visitor's badge.  But if this was real life, he would.  Some schools even make visitors provide id to visit.
Man, I hate criticism, cause I always feel like such a biyatch.  Switching back to fangirl mode:  can I say how much I love Spike's plan to give Buffy the money?  So clever!  But there's also the question of what he has to do to earn that money.  Intriguing!  I just keep looking back up at the last line of the chapter--it almost takes my breath away.   I really feel like you have captured Buffy's voice in these post-time travel chapters.  Not Buffy that I grew to hate, but Buffy at her best--almost season 3 Buffy.  As always, can't wait 'til the next update!  Oh, and here's to the Report writers returning to work!

I'm so behind in answering reviews it isn't even funny. Sorry about that! I do want to say that I really appreciate the review, as always. I wondered if anyone would misinterpret the dagger and I was hoping they would, so ... yay! About the visitor's badge ... really? I know I live in the backwoods, but our local high school doesn't require visitor passes; it just has campus police. Ah, well. Can we just say that Sunnydale is lax on security? The story is set pre-9/11 after all. (And, yes, I am clutching at straws, lol.)

02/14/2008 02:17 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
GO BUFFY!!!
(GO UB!!!)
Thank you!

IT
02/13/2008 08:34 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Way to go, Buffy!!  Hooray!  I really like the way you write Dawn.  She has the innocence of youth and the wisdom that goes along with being able to see things that way. 
More soon, please!  And no more cargo pants!   Just not a Spike thing.  lol
ROFL. Don't worry, the cargo pants aren't here to stay. Spike isn't making any permanent fashion changes; he's just trying to please Buffy. Thanks for the review.

02/13/2008 06:35 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Awesome chapter! Can't think of much more to say than that, but really awesome!
Awesome is plenty. Thank you!

02/13/2008 05:39 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Good to see more sense reigning in Buffy's head. I wonder what Spike's job entails?

The details of Spike's job are going to be a bit vague for now because I want to keep you guys on your toes. Thanks for the review.

Miss. Onyx
02/13/2008 05:08 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
For some reason I have the craziest urge to yell "Oh Snap!!!" I don't believe any story has ever made me want to refer to Buffy as being "Gangsta" but THIS.....is FANTASTIC! I loved every minute of this chapter! Thanks so much for the update UB. I can't wait for more.
ROFL. Buffy, a gangsta? Sweeet. I have to say, I did get a lot of pleasure out of writing that scene. It was about time Buffy stood up for herself. Thanks for the review.

ya_lublyu_tebya
02/13/2008 05:01 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Can't tell you how glad I am that Buffy told them to stuff it!! Yay!! More soon.
Thank you! I think pretty much everyone was cheering for Buffy in this chapter. Considering how many readers were threatening to beat her in this section of the story, I'm very glad.

02/13/2008 12:30 pm
Chapter Fifty-Five         
I'm sure that this way my favorite chapter so far, and that's saying alot.  I really didn't expect Buffy to go the way she did, but I'm so glad she did. 

Wonderful writing
Given that there are 54 other chapters, that does say a lot and I am flattered. Thank you!

anna
02/13/2008 10:55 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol. Thanks for the enthusiasm.

02/13/2008 09:24 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Wow!  Buffy really surprised me there - Dawn's groundwork didn't hurt either!  Fabulous chapter.
Thank you! I love surprising my readers.

akarinacj
02/13/2008 09:23 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Fantastic Chapter. This one really made up for the angstful last one. I´m so glad Buffy and Spike are talking together, that she gives him a chance, and that she´s more understanding....   Lovely
Thank you! I know the angst can be hard to take but as this chapter proves, sometimes the darkest hour is just before dawn. Cliched, I know, but true nonethless.

gaby
02/13/2008 07:56 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
i have read this story from the early morning to the night and i am in love with it!! i have never ever read a story so realistic, and moving and just so gah spuffy as urs. i cried, i smiled , i blushed lol it is all so perfect!! i applaud ur writing skills bravo!!!! i'll be patiently waiting for the next chapter, love it!

-gaby
How lovely of you to say! Thank you! Even though BtVS is in the fantasy genre, I do want the characters' emotions and relationships with each other to be as realistic as possible. It's wonderful to know that you think I'm succeeding.

Reb
02/13/2008 07:31 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
I loved the banter between Buffy and Dawn. And I was really happy to see Buffy stand up to the Council. It would have been very disappointing if she had caved, after giving them hell just a few months earlier, during the Glory campaign. Her back seems to be straightening up nicely.

I agree. Giles should have known better than to even to mention the Council, given how strongly Buffy feels about them. Thanks so much for the review.

02/13/2008 06:15 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
excellent update - great to have these recent additions to this fine story - I have enjoyed reading it very much  - Good Luck with it as your continue -
Thank you so much.

jess
02/13/2008 06:03 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
You go girl. stand by your man. like tammy said.
lol. Well, it's about time she did, don't you think? Thanks for the review.

Ashley
02/13/2008 05:18 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
I don't like Buffy testing Spike, but I can kinda see why she would perhaps quesiton things.  I love her "mine" comment and her turning down the council. 
Why don't you like Buffy testing Spike? Is it the test itself or the manner in which she does it? I'm always curious about readers' reactions, so please feel free to express whatever emotion a scene evokes (be it positive or negative). I appreciate the feedback so much. Thank you.

02/13/2008 04:49 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Fantastic.  Really wonderful.  I've got worries about Spike's money source, but suspense is a good thing.  Great job.
Thank you! I'm glad you're a suspense fan, because there is going to be more of it to come.

02/13/2008 04:24 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
 Go Buffy!
 
I really like how you don't sugercoat Spike. You make him struggle, but the fact that he does struggle really makes the point that he's trying. And I'm glad Buffy is finally starting to get it. Thanks in part to Dawn.
That's exactly how I feel about it, too. Spike might stumble on the road to redemption; he might make mistakes, but he never stops trying. I have no idea why he never got credit for it on the series, because I think the writers did an amazing job of his journey from villain to hero otherwise. Thanks for the review.

Deb
02/13/2008 03:59 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Oh my gosh, I love it.  Finally, Buffy with some cahones!  What a wonderful opportunity for Spike to receive her gift of blood and also her emotional support.  He's proving himself to her to be there for her. I just hope it doesn't bit him in the arse too much if/when it's discovered that he's duping her to help her.  I'm sure it will all hit the fan, and then you'll have a great time taking us through the clean up.  Love this story!
Thank you! Poor Spike is doing his best to help Buffy out of her financial hardships but, as you said, his dishonesty could be a cause for concern. One thing I loved about canon Spike was that, even without a soul, he struggled to change for Buffy. He made mistakes, he grew frustrated...but he kept trying. To me, that effort was one of the most romantic things about their relationship.

Pam S
02/13/2008 03:54 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
 Dawn.. the voice of reason..

 And still interested in knowing what Spike's job is going to be...

 Enjoying.
Spike's job might remain a bit of a mystery for a while. Thanks for the review!

Darknightofthesoul
02/13/2008 03:35 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Good for Buffy!!!
It's about time for her to do that, isn't it?

02/13/2008 03:28 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh thank god!

Great chapter!
lol. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it so well.

02/13/2008 03:16 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
YAAAAYYYYY Buffy!  I LOVED that she is standing up to them, and that she's not putting Spike completely in the doghouse over those girls.  Dawn was, as always, awesome in her "liaison" capacity between Spike and Buffy.  I just hope Spike isn't doing anything too bad to get the money.  Awesome chapter!
Thank you! I think Buffy is finally becoming aware of the fact that she will either have to accept all of him or love none of him. No matter how much she would like to, she can't ignore his past.

02/13/2008 03:12 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Wonderful chapter!  Love Spike being mistaken for Dawn's daddy (hey there is a resemblance  lol) and being affronted at looking old enough (mirrors Buffy's worry ovemom hair in S7).

His plan is actually a good one for getting the money to Buffy even though I fear greatly if it turns out he's being set up.  Just seems too easy this offer he was given.

Loved dawn talking to Buffy and making very valid points just when Buffy needed to hear them.  Happy she listened and remembered Spike's reactions from before.

Poor Spike so afraid of losing her!  So willing to turn himself inside out just to keep her at all in any way!  Surely she'll remember this important fact as she wonders about his ability to change!

Tense moment in the crypt as she tested...who?  Spike? Herself? Both of them?  Whatever she was really wanting to prove it worked out well and truth came out in her freudian slip.

So happy he was honest about the why's and the why never agains. 

YAY Buffy to not only turn down the offer but to wait to do it when they were all gathered together.  Hope she keeps that stiff backbone and tells them all to go to hell with their objections.  Dawnie is in her corner and that's her family, not this motley group.  Spike is family too.

Got a bad feeling that Xander will be the one to out Spike's little deal and I just hope that makes Buffy side with Spike and put the little bigot in his place.

Wonderful.  You just keep the flame on the burner with this one. This one is a classic "best of" by any definition.  ADORE your William  and your Spike is a heart tugger too!

Kathleen
lol. Poor Spike. I was mean for putting the "daddy" scene in, but I just couldn't help myself. I'm glad it gave you a  chuckle. Spike does have a good idea for getting the money to Buffy, but the problem is that he's deceiving her. No matter how he wants to justify that to himself, if Buffy finds out he's lied to her, she will be upset. I don't think he's taking that into account right now. I'm very happy you like the scene with Spike's attempt to change. No one seems to be a fan of the cargo pants (they aren't very Spike-ish, lol), but he's doing it for her, which I think makes up for the lack of style. In the crypt, I think she was testing them both although she didn't realize it. Luckily, they both passed. lol. Your compliments always make me blush and go squishy inside. I really appreciate all the support you give.

02/13/2008 02:49 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Oh Boy - Spike's plan is going to come out really badly, isn't it.  Think you should have written out the scene where they all discuss why Buffy was going to do what they want, instead of what she wants. 
lol. Well, Spike's plans aren't really known for coming off smoothly or successfully. Thanks for the review.

02/13/2008 02:40 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Thanks for the update, & yay Buffy by the way! 
Thank you! Buffy and I appreciate the cheer.

02/13/2008 02:36 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
I must wonder if Giles would be willing to lie for her--after all, the Council doesn't know who she's with, being across the pond and all.  And should they send someone to spy eventually, well, it'd be better to get some money from them than no money.

Also, the part where Dawn tells Buffy what Spike had been doing in order to please her, for some reason, it made me well up with tears a bit--not sure why, but there was something about that scene.  Oh, and really glad Buffy came to her senses
That is an interesting question, Scarlet. Things are so tangled right now it's hard for Buffy to know who to trust, and the friends who believe they are working in her best interest clearly aren't. And I made you well up? Sweet. My work here is done. Thank you.

02/13/2008 01:46 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Go Buffy!!!  It's about time she took the chance on Spike.  I really wish her "friends" would get a clue and start acting like real friends.  Thank you for this wonderful update.
lol. It was about time for her to do that, wasn't it? Her friends have only good intentions, but the actions they believe are in her best interest clearly aren't. I foresee plenty more conflict in the future ... Thanks for the review.

02/13/2008 01:06 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
wewt!!!!
ROFL - I hope that's a positive sound.

02/13/2008 01:01 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
*applauds madly*  Oh, that gives me an even better feeling then when Buffy stood up to the council about Glory!!!  I just hope she can stick with it!  With Dawn and Spike behind her, hopefully she'll grow a backbone!!  But you've got me scared to death about what it is Spike's doing to earn money...  It's not the eggs, is it??? 'Cause we all know how that turned out!!!  Amazing chapter, as always; I absolutely adore this story, and can't wait for more!!!
::takes a bow::

I have to admit, I felt a great deal of satisfaction writing that last scene. Of course, I can't tell you what Spike's job is or how it will turn out, but I'm glad it's keeping you guessing. Thanks for the review.

kim
02/13/2008 12:55 am
Chapter Fifty-Five         
Whoo! She delivered her "F*** you".

And of course he can control himself! He's not a fledge! Silly girl.

I love, love, love your Dawn. She kicks ass.
lol. It was about time, wasn't it?

02/14/2008 04:16 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Okay, so there's not enough stress on her already that Giles has to involve the Council? After all they've done to her?
Well, the Council is pretty well known for causing strife. Still, hope isn't lost ... Thanks for the review.

02/11/2008 10:08 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
I wonder what Buffy will do. Hopefully she won't cut her ties to Spike, but still with the knowledge that Giles gave her on the killings up until Sunnydale, how will she react. Great chapter, and thanks for the read.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

02/07/2008 04:37 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
very good read, thank you. giles is even more disappointing than her other friends.
Thank you! And I think that your opinion of Giles is pretty well on par with everyone else's. He's definitely persona non grata right now, lol.

02/05/2008 01:53 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
oh no.

wait - didn't you say that somebody was using Spike's name and killing people?

I really love this story, but I'm almost scared of an update at this point...

Unfortunately, the murders are all Spike's. As poetic and tender as he could be back then, he was still a vampire and capable of some truly gruesome things. Of course, redemption isn't possible without some evil to overcome, so don't be too afraid. Thanks for the review.

02/03/2008 09:55 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Whoa!  I'm glad someone realizes just how bad Spike was pre-Sunnydale and why Buffy didn't want to be the girlfriend of Ted Bundy Jr.  Excellent conflict.
Yep, no sugar-coating here. Spike didn't spend his first century as a vampire knitting cunning sweater sets.

02/03/2008 08:10 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Holy cliff hanger!  What are you doing to me!!!!!!

But I love this story.  *wails*
ROFL - Well, I have been called "Queen of the Cliffhangers." I'm happy that you love the story despite the pain. Thanks for reviewing.

02/03/2008 09:34 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         

OMG! Damn Giles. Okay, he is back to number one on my "hit" list. The jerk! ANd please don't tell me Buffy's falling for it. She has to know that her vanishing pushed Spike over the edge, and what he did to the blonde girls was done out of anger and grief because of her.
 
Noooooo! Damn, damn, damn. And what kind of job is Spike going to do? I feel that it's not of the good. God, everything they started to build is going to go downt eh flusher. *kicks at the air*

Girl, you got me hot, in the bad way rofl. Now I can't wait for more! There is going to be much badness before the good, I just know it. Looking towards your next update (but of course take your time )

And great update as always.

lol. Poor Giles has been on my readers' hit lists since Part III began. At this point, I think he might want to enter the witness protection program; there are so many people ready to kill him. Thanks for the review.

Ashley
02/03/2008 06:41 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
I was so excited about the Council paying Buffy, but I should have known there'd be a catch.  And of course Spike isn't going to be sane after losing the woman he loved.  I'm really hoping this doesn't cause too many obstacles, although I know some must be coming.
Oh, yes. With the Council there's always a catch. Thanks for the review!

02/03/2008 04:25 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  You.  Are. Killing. Me.  Thank GOD you have insomnia 'cause I don't think I could take the suspense for an extended period of time.  Well, good for the story, bad for you

You know, I thought it was apropos that William should have an obsession with women who resembled his Elizabeth.  He lost her with no explanation, presumed her dead, and couldn't bare to look at any woman who reminded him of his loss.  But I don't think it fully registered with me how that would look from someone else's perspective.  To someone such as Giles, her watcher, it would make sense that Spike, Slayer of Slayers, would be drawn to Buffy, Slayer of the Vampires.  She's a slayer, and he kills them.  It's a simple slayer-vampire, vampire kills slayer situation. 

However, to see all of his kills, not just the slayers, would look less like a vampire-slayer situation and more like a...Well, a serial killer.  The watcher part of Giles would expect Buffy to be targeted by vampires, but the other part, the concerned rakish uncle part, would probably be more terrified of some whack job murderer who prays on blonde girls.  The vampires, he'd expect.  The creepily obsessed guy lurking in the bushes, he would not.  You're right, those aren't the actions of a sane person. 

With that in mind, I can't help but to wonder about all of the things he did of which the Watchers Council doesn't have pictures.  It's quite common for people, especially the media, to latch onto the morbid details of a situation and to mostly--if not completely--ignore the good.  Of course the Council has photos of a vampire's kills; it's their job.  They did not, however, keep record of William's would-be victims that he allowed to escape.  I'm sure there's no picture of William telling Matthew to run from Drusilla.  What about William trying to save his dying mother by giving her new life?  Even the coal bin girl, with her striking resemblance to his Elizabeth, was allowed to escape.  No one saw those acts of mercy, save for William himself. 

How can Buffy see the good in Spike when she has no pictures, no evidence?  This is not a Spike who allowed himself to be tortured by Glory for Buffy's sake.  This is not a Spike who risked his unlife to protect Dawn from a geriatric lizard demon.  This is not a Spike who stayed to protect Dawn, the Scoobies, and help to guard the Hellmouth while Buffy was all dead.  None of that has happened!  FtTP Spike has not had the opportunities to prove himself that canon Spike did.  What the hell is Buffy going to do?!?  Crap.  Now, I'm all depressed
How can Buffy see the good in Spike when she has no pictures, no evidence?  This is not a Spike who allowed himself to be tortured by Glory for Buffy's sake.  This is not a Spike who risked his unlife to protect Dawn from a geriatric lizard demon.  This is not a Spike who stayed to protect Dawn, the Scoobies, and help to guard the Hellmouth while Buffy was all dead.  None of that has happened!  FtTP Spike has not had the opportunities to prove himself that canon Spike did.

Exactly! A lot of readers are being hard on Buffy because they aren't taking that into account. As readers, we can glimpse into his private thoughts and feelings, but the other characters aren't privvy to that information and, as you said, he hasn't had an opportunity to prove himself to them the way he did in canon. Sorry to depress you, but I'm glad you're enjoying the story anyway.

02/03/2008 02:33 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Oh God; I knew Giles would have something like this up his sleeve; sometimes he's a right bastard!  And I can't help but worry that this job of Spike's is going to be something that Buffy won't approve of; something that will cement Giles' opinion of him...  Oh, you evil cliff-hanging writer!!  You simply must update again soon, you're killing me here!!!
Giles can be very manipulative; I always noticed that on the series. I love his character, but he certainly isn't a perfect one ... "Lies My Parents Told Me" immediately comes to mind. He often does the wrong thing for the right reasons. He loves Buffy, but he tries to control her because he won't accept that she is an adult and probably knows what is best for her far better than he does. Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you're still enjoying the story.

time of change
02/02/2008 05:09 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Incredible plot twist!
Thank you! I love to keep you guys guessing.

02/02/2008 04:32 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
BASTARD!!!!!!  awwwwwwwwww man!!!!!!!!!

now I am on pins and needles again until the next update!  Great Chapter!
Well, Giles was doing the wrong thing but at least he was doing it for the right reason. He does love Buffy, he's just not taking into account that she is an adult and capable of making her own decisions. He's trying to manipulate her, which will only damage his relationship with her down the line. Thanks so much for the review.

02/02/2008 04:30 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
 Stupid Council! 

I loved your flashback at the beginning of the chapter. Hearing about it earlier in the story and actually reading it made the whole Buffy-needs-a-job situation come full circle. And the flashback makes a amazing contrast with the way the chapter ends.
Yep, the Council is just full of b*stards, isn't it? But we always knew that. I'm glad you enjoyed the flashback, it was nice for me to be able to revisit William. He was such a sweetheard and so much fun to write. Thanks for the review.

Miss. Onyx
02/02/2008 03:32 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Two updates in a week woot!
but GAH!....the UB angst monster strikes again. Poor Spike he seems to always have forces working behind his back to screw things up for him.
Great updates! I can't wait for more.
lol. Yep, I might have gotten behind in answering my reviews, but at least my chapters are coming in a timely manner. Thanks so much for the review.

ya_lublyu_tebya
02/02/2008 01:23 pm
Chapter Fifty-Four         
No, no, no! Please don't give up Spike you silly girl. Great update!
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

02/02/2008 10:32 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
OH NOOOOO!!  Just when they were getting somewhere - I hope it's not back to square one!  Giles certainly knows how to play Buffy - and obviously once evil, always evil.  Except himself!  Brilliant chapter.  It was nice to know William was struck at first sight.  Great chapter al always.
Well, not square one exactly, but it will change things between them. In fact, I'd say that the scene with Giles will be a catalyst for a big change in Buffy's relationship with Spike. Thanks for reviewing.

02/02/2008 10:17 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Great update - please please please post a new chapter again soon -
Thank you! I'm glad you're still enjoying it.

IT
02/02/2008 09:39 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Oh, I do hope she is able to work this out for herself.  They've just found each other again, I don't want to see them pulled apart the Council.  But then I guess we need drama for a good story... -sigh-  
Love the story.  Thanks for the update. 
Thank you for reviewing it.

IT
02/02/2008 09:39 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Oh, I do hope she is able to work this out for herself.  They've just found each other again, I don't want to see them pulled apart the Council.  But then I guess we need drama for a good story... -sigh-  
Love the story.  Thanks for the update. 
Yep, drama is what keeps the plot moving and the readers guessing (well, hopefully). Thanks so much for the review.

02/02/2008 08:01 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
*Wants to shake Giles and Buffy*  He couldn't have shown Buffy those pictures before because they didn't even exist until her little trip back in time.  Buffy's disappearance broke William horribly, and I suspect a part of him hated her for that--for leaving him.  Hell, for leaving the house, and not staying safe.

Oh, and a job, eh?  So, does that mean you'll spin AYW?  Huh?  Huh?

lol. You know that I can't answer that question. You already got one plot secret out of me a few months ago; I'm not giving you another. Naughty reader. Thanks for the review.

02/02/2008 06:17 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
*Puts almonds back in the cupboard*  Just when I thought the story was starting to wind down, you play the next hand of the game.  I gotta say, hoping 55 appears as quickly as 54.  But then it wouldn't be much of a cliffhanger, right?  Masterful.
lol. Well, keep the almonds handy, just don't get ahead of yourself in breaking them out. We've got a whole lot of story left before we're done. I know I was a bit later with Chapter 55 than with this chapter, but I hope it turned out to be worth the wait. Thanks so much for the review.

kim
02/02/2008 03:41 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
She HAS to know from talking to Spike that this was how William dealt with his grief after being turned and coached by Angelus. She knows more than Giles, at this point, a lot more.

Giles is plenty spiteful, informing them about her ties with Spike, then making that deal for compensation. It's a noose of control all over again. Council never changes.

Man offering Spike a job makes me very, very nervous!
She does know more than Giles at this point, but I'm sure that doesn't make accepting the brutality in his past any easier. He's already told her that he had a choice in what he did, and he chose to murder and, in a few cases, even torture. That he was in pain at the time and Angelus egged him on doesn't excuse his actions and Buffy knows it. And hearing about the things he's done and seeing them are two entirely different things. Of course, that doesn't mean she can't forgive him and move on; it just makes things a bit harder. Thanks so much for the review.

02/02/2008 03:14 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Oh my, well done indeed. So surprised to see another chapter so quickly! Bow down to your muse. This one was so well written. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Some chapters when read are so vivid and this is one of them. I guess it started with the surprise that you went back in time, so to speak with William. I was pleasantly surprised by this and have to say I realized how much I missed reading about that particular time. And though I really loved the "Step into my office" line right up to the last line of the chapter it was the 'flashback' scene as it were that my favorite line comes from. And its not even a line of dialog which is completely different from my norm. Rather a line of description.

*The slow creak of the carriage wheels and muted clop of the horses’ feet was lulling, and William closed his eyes.*

I don't know why but its like I could feel and see what he was feeling with every word and this one just struck me. He's longing for another life than the one he has with all its responsibilities, and he's weary and needing comfort. I felt like I was in that carriage on the leather seat hearing the clopping of those horses hooves. I know a good writer sweetie and your it. When I get drawn in like that its all because of you.  Thanks for taking me to another world with your words.



I loved being able to write William again. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I revisited him in the flashback. I'm glad you enjoyed that as well. I'm always worried about being overly descriptive, so your comment on enjoying the description in the flashback scene really makes me happy -- as does the fact that you think I'm a good writer. Thanks so much for the review.

02/02/2008 02:51 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Oh honey you're killing me here LOL.  In Giles shoes I can see his point but we all ow how very wrong he is to judge Spike as just another vampire.  Nothing has yet to happen in THIS world to show the difference like his helping against Glory and being tortured or taking care of Dawn selflessly as on the show (although I doubt Giles would have been different there either).   Still the idea of emotional blackmail by the Council when all that should concern them is Buffy's welfare is disgusting.  USERS!  She should tell them to just put Faith on the  job and bugger off.

I would be sickened too to find someone I loved so well and knew so well had gone off the deep end like that too.  For her it was only a few weeks ago that he was William, a good man unable to think of such mayhem.  She hasn't  thought of the years (OR of Angel being his teacher....how I wish she'd remember THAT tidbit) that built the vampire he became.  Naturally she'd immediately think insanity.

I fear Spike is being set up (Demon eggs maybe?).  He is so desparate to help Buffy that he won't be as careful as he should be.  Oh how that is going to look bad for him just as on the show!  I wonder if this guy is from the Council or even Giles.  I wouldn't put it past them in the least (or even working for Riley).  That always did smell like a set up to me.

Spike's righteous anger is in agreement to mine as I watched the season.  Her loving friends did nothing to help her but plenty to drag her down further and they are acting that way here too.

What of her mom's gallery (on the show and in your story)?  Who sold it and where did that money go? Surely the inventory alone would have helped.  I think Buffy should sue those who acted in her name with no input from her.  Nothing suck the life from a soul like financial burdens and she is in a terrible position here.

Excellent update as ALWAYS...BRILLIANT story. Filled with heart, love and reality....so real it hurts.

Kathleen
Don't die just yet, lol. We have a whole lot of story still to cover. I'm so happy you understand Giles' motivations. I think some readers have forgotten the timeline in FtTP - you're right, Spike hasn't truly redeemed himself in this fic. Dawn can have faith in him because of his helping her in "Forever," but since he swore her to secrecy about that night, she can't use that to defend him to the others. Buffy wants to trust him, but she's still wavering back and forth on that. She knows the good man that he was; she's just not sure of the type of man he's capable of being. Still, I think her mind will remain somewhat open to the possibilities. As for Giles, he was doing the wrong thing ... but he was doing it for the right reasons. Spike isn't so different in that respect. He tortured and killed Archer a century before because the man had been disrespectful to Buffy (Elizabeth). It was incredibly wrong of him to do that, but he was doing it because he loved Buffy and he was upholding her honor. That doesn't make either Giles' or Spike's actions excusable, but at least it does make them understandable. Thanks so much for the review.

02/02/2008 02:36 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Not one but two quandaries! Excellent.
Thank you so much.

02/02/2008 02:36 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Damn Giles, I hope Buffy won't be swayed by the photos.   I was glad to see an update so soon and hope a new one won't be long in coming. Thanks!
Well, the new one was a bit longer in coming, but I hope it was worth the wait. Thanks so much for the review.

lacey
02/02/2008 02:16 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
okay, hating giles right now, and things were getting so much better too.  i hope buffy doesn't listen to him, i can't believe they could be so stupid to have her cut ties with someone that could help her like he has been doing, the hell with them.  i really hope she does what she wants for a change, she already started to give him a chance, i don't think i can take it if she goes back on that.  i hope whatever job he gets works out and isn't illegal, then maybe she won't need anything from the council.
In Giles' defense, FtTP began before "Intervention," so Spike hasn't yet been able to prove himself to the Scoobies. To them, he is still the vampire who threatened to kill them, who tied up Buffy and tried to force love out of her. Dawn knows better because of his selflessly risking his life to help her in "Forever," but since he swore her to secrecy, she can't use it to defend him. All this doesn't make Giles' actions right, of course. But at least he does have Buffy's best interests at heart. Thanks so much for the review.

02/02/2008 02:07 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Yay!  Another update so soon!  And with Giles being so convincing about the evilness of Spike and the promise of money.  Loved the juxtaposition of William's desire to take care of Buffy with Spike's wanting to take care of her.  Can't wait for the next chapter.

Well, as Spike told Buffy in a previous chapter, even with a hundred years and a thousand dead men at his back he remains fundamentally the same person -- with her at least. I'm glad you enjoyed the flashback. It was nice to be able to revisit William. Thanks so much for the review.

02/02/2008 02:03 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Yes another good update!  Thanks for the new chapter.

Thank you for taking the time to review it. I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

02/02/2008 01:51 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
This is a great story, and very well written.  It's a very interesting look at Spike's progression as a character and a very interesting twist on both time travel and Buffy's death/resurrection in canon.    Can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Thank you for reading it and taking the time to review. Exploring Spike's transformation from innocent, repressed William into corrupt, uninhibited, and oftentimes cruel Spike was so much fun for me. I wish they had showed more of it on the series, since the flashbacks always fascinated me.

Reb
02/02/2008 01:48 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
I loved Spike's exchange with Willie. Giles is downright chilling. I hope Buffy can break her new habit of listlessness and find her own  core self, soon.
Thank you! The scene at Willie's turned out to be one of my favorites. I never understood why Spike never tried to help Buffy on the series. I know that she wouldn't have allowed him to help her financially -- she has too much pride. But for him to not even offer seems a little out of character to me.

02/02/2008 01:36 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         
Gaah!   Oh no!  Giles, why did you do that?       If I squealed when I saw the last update, I doubly squealed when I saw this one.  I hadn't expected one so soon for sure.  And now that Buffy is confronted with Spike's graphic past, will she turn on him again?  You leave me in suspense.     Will Buffy remember William saying he should kill those men for slandering her?  Great update, and I particularly liked the flashback when he saw her in the workhouse.
Thank you! I have to admit, I didn't realize how much I missed writing William until he showed up in the flashback. It was nice being able to revisit that innocent period in Spike's life. I'm glad you enjoyed it as well. Thanks for the review.

Pam S
02/02/2008 01:35 am
Chapter Fifty-Four         

Poor Spike and Buffy.. Can't we just let them take off.. with Dawn of course and leave these..............

 Hate this Giles and the Council.. ridiculous premice that one girl in all the world would fight the fight .. and all these men in their suits sit in judgement.. and she received nothing but if she dies another will just pop up.. ho hum... 

  And his money is going to be dirty money. Buffy won't want it.

  Enjoyed.. but angst is getting to me.. fell like Spike going a little insane over it.. LOL

Nah, having them ride off into the sunset together would just be too easy, lol. Don't worry, though. This will all be worth it in the end. Thanks for the review.

02/03/2008 02:26 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
I like your working of this scene much better than what happened in the show; of course Buffy would go to Spike; she went to him about everything else!!!  And why the hell wouldn't Willow & Tara pay rent??  It always surprised me about that; especially that Tara didn't suggest it; she was always the thoughful one; I could see Willow freeloading quite easily, and I suppose she'd overrule poor Tara.  Absolutely love your Dawn/Spike scenes; wish we'd gotten more of them in the show.  Can't wait for more; please update again soon!
I always wondered if maybe Willow and Tara thought that since they spent a summer taking care of Dawn they were owed free room and board. Since the BtVS writers never addressed the issue on the show, I guess we'll never know the true reason. Ah, well. Thanks so much for the review.

02/01/2008 04:01 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         
I'm SOOOO happy for an update!  Glad Buffy and Spike are making progress. 
Thank you so much.

02/01/2008 02:10 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Oh boy - time for Spike to do something incredibly stupid.  I can't wait.  Loved Spike spilling blood on Buffy, they are so incredibly, stpuidly awkward with each other.  Hope that isn't some evil foreshadowing.
Poor Spike. He tries so hard but you're right, he doesn't always use his head, especially when it comes to Buffy. Thanks so much for the review.

02/01/2008 07:45 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
excellent read, thank you. was tempted to go off on a rant about the financial situation ( who forged her name to pay bills, why pay the medical bills before the house, etc) but none of the that is your fault. just another case of the writers taking an easy road.
Exactly. The BtVS writers sort of dropped the ball on that one. I am going to work on picking up the pieces later on, but for now, the Scoobies are following canon in that respect. Thanks so much for reviewing.

Deb
02/01/2008 05:57 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Even yet it's still somewhat sweet and bitter as they move through the tough times.  Spike is able to painfully point out the very truth in where she lives both physically and emotionally.  I do like that you are able to portray Buffy as overwhelmed, and even though Spike is blunt with his comments and it's not yet an easy relationship, he's there for her where the others are often bystanders to her pain.  As always excellent writing.  Looking forward to more!
I don't believe in immediate gratification in stories (lol, well, obviously). While I think there is an incredible amount of love between them, both of them are working on rebuilding their trust, so things are going to be slightly awkward and, at times, even unpleasant. I'm glad you like the realism in that. Thank you so much for letting me know.

01/31/2008 12:23 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         

It's sad when a vampire and a teenager you're supposed to be responsible for are the two most sane, sensible, supportive and soothing people in your life.

That is very true. One thing that always annoyed me about the series was the lack of emotional growth among the key characters. In fact, a few of them (including Buffy herself) seemed to regress in the last couple of seasons. In my story, people won't always be allowed to remain so wilfully immature. Thanks for the review.

IT
01/31/2008 06:18 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Thanks for the update!  They still have a way to go, but they're on the right path.  And why was Giles so quiet???  More soon, please! 
Giles has a lot on his mind, that's all. Thanks for the review!

Ashley
01/31/2008 05:09 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
I also get so excited when I see this story is updated   I'm hoping the whole "Willow and Tara should pay rent" thing will sink in. I love how they're slowly growing more comfortable w/ each other and Buffy can talk openly with him.  Looking forward to more.
You're so sweet. Thanks for the review. The rent issue will crop up again in the story, although, of course, I'm keeping my lips sealed as to how and why.

01/31/2008 04:51 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
I love it when you have insomnia. 
So do I!

01/31/2008 04:18 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Spike is too good for Buffy! But as always, Spike is Love's Bitch. Good advice. Hopefully Buffy will heed it.
Spike being too good for Buffy ... well, he'd be angry with you if you told him that. lol. Of course, as you said, he is love's bitch. Thanks for the review.

01/31/2008 03:58 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Spike's right, and Buffy already thought about it, Willow and Tara need to spit out some rent money!

And what's up with Giles. Why do I feel he's focused on something else? Is somehing coming or is he worried about Buffy and Spike?

Spike said money is easy to get. I can't help but to wonder what he means by that. Can't wait until you grace us with another update.

BTW, this was a wonderful surprise. Having a shitty day, this made me happy! Thanks, UB.
I'm so sorry you were having a bad day, but I'm happy I was able to help you feel better. Your review definitely made me feel good as well.

01/31/2008 03:56 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
And I wonder what Spike is up to?  Poor Buffy, just like in the series after her resurrection, she let's everyone tell her what to do.  I hope her money situation works out!  And yay, for the update!  I did a happy squeal.  Do you know about how many chapters you have left to do?
Well, if Spike has his say in it, Buffy finances will be sorted out very soon ... Thanks for the review.

01/31/2008 03:44 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Damn secrets and lies...it's not good for one's self esteem

Oh noes--does this mean a retelling of "As You Were?"  If so, please have someone kick Riley's ass. 

And, absolutely loved this line: “Let them pay rent then, or find a new place. By God, you aren’t the only adult in that house and you aren’t the only one capable of singing for your supper.”
And poor Spike never had any self-esteem to spare in the first place did he? As for the retelling of AYW ... well, you'll just have to wait and see. But it's great to know you enjoyed that particular line. I just loved Spike being able to vent the frustrations that most fans seemed to have with Buffy's financial state. Thanks for the review.

01/31/2008 03:30 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Just a quickie for now: 

Injustice League--Funny as hell

he picked up her hand and put it to his chest, over the place where his heart no longer beat
--Sad as hell
Two of my favorite lines as well. Thanks!

kim
01/31/2008 02:47 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Oh, and I love this --

It hurts a little—

What does?

—shedding old calluses
Would you believe I almost deleted those lines before I sent the chapter to my beta? I was afraid it might be too heavy-handed, but I love them so much, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm glad you like them.

kim
01/31/2008 02:44 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
He's right about those damn freeloaders, of course. I get Willow not putting in her share, but it always confused me that it was implied Tara didn't either. She didn't seem like the type to take advantage of someone like that.

At least Buffy's used to talking to William enough that she confides her fear and bewilderment here instead of bottling it up. Giles' silence is......odd. I know he's not just holding a grudge over Buffy's absence.....I suppose if there's no apocalypse he's needed for, he'll be hightailing it out of town soon to avoid the responsibility of guiding these children.

The nice thing about bills is that if you go in with honesty and willingness to work out a payment plan, they usually work with you. Especially the bank, since it costs them more to have you default on the loan than if they keep you out of foreclosure.
You're completely right. And I think that, in my story, William is probably the only man Buffy was ever truly comfortable opening up with. As much as she loved Angel, she never seemed on equal footing with him, and, aside from the typical "I love yous," she never really seemed to express her feelings. With Riley, I think she neither trusted him enough or loved him enough to share her private thoughts. Part of this was due to the pain caused to her by Angel/Angelus, of course. William was so gentle and undemanding that she could finally expose the vulnerable part of her because she knew he wouldn't take advantage of her or hurt her. With Spike, it's a bit harder, of course. But his being willingness to share his own vulnerabilities with her has made it a bit easier for her to do the same. Anyway, now that I've rambled on, I'll just say thanks, as always, for the review.

01/31/2008 01:29 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Great to have an update - I really like this work and have enjoyed reading it - Thank You for giving us the new chapter -

One thing that I always felt was a big flaw in the series was Spike being presented as not having means to acquire money - Not that a Spike on the road of redemption should be doing illegal acts, but it would have been great if he could have helped Buffy with all her money woes.  Of course that was not a role that was acceptable to the writers, but I would like to have had that happen.  Wouldn't it have been a fun episode to have a Spike and Buffy, with or without the Scoobies, go to Laos Vegas and try some gambling.  Not very Young Viewers friendly but something that the adult viewers would have like.

Well, I will just have to wait and see how Spike can help with the money acquisition or what Buffy will do. 
I agree completely. I never understood why, on the show, the writers never chose to have him try to help her. In a way, it was out of character for him. Spike was very protective of those he loved (look at how he treated Dru), so I can't imagine him just standing idly by while he knew Buffy was struggling. Like you said, the writers probably just saw it as unacceptable to have a "soulless, evil thing" in the role of a nurturer. Thanks for the review!

Cas
01/31/2008 01:19 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Money's easy got?  Maybe for Spike - but I'll be intersted in how, and so will Buffy.
Spike is one determined boy, so I'm sure he'll manage it somehow. Thanks for reviewing!

01/31/2008 12:58 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
 I really like how *real* this is becoming - the everyday hassles ruining everything for Buffy. And that she instinctively knows that Spike can understand.

I really wish she'd speak up about the financial situation to her friends, but it would probably be OOC for her to do so.
lol. Well, financial woes are something I am more than a little familiar with, so that is probably why is feels real. Buffy opening up to Spike was such a big step for her. She's never been good at expressing her feelings to men (or, really, to anyone), and it was only with William that she began to truly open up. It's harder for her to do that with Spike, but I think when he's willing to make himself vulnerable to her, it encourages her to do the same. I'm happy that you think I'm doing a good job with the plot and characters. Thanks so much for the review.

01/31/2008 12:24 am
Chapter Fifty-Three         
I'm so happy to see the update! This is such a fabulous story! I'm glad she's decided to give Spike a chance.  Hope the next chapter won't be long in coming. Thanks!
It's a long, hard journey, but these two have so much love between them they can't help but succeed. And Buffy's opening up to Spike is this chapter is the first small step. Thanks so much for the review. I really appreciate it!

01/30/2008 11:40 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         
YAY!! More please, I just love this story!!!
I'm glad you do. Thank you!

01/30/2008 11:35 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Aww.. bless im SO GLAD you tackled the freeloader issue

now thats the question i would ask at a con, Why was buffy encouraged to get a job and not the others? im sure it had something to do with pushing her further over the edge, but seriously... its my biggest storyline pet peeve
It was my biggest pet peeve as well, and what is most annoying is that the writers never did address it. They said that "adult life" was the theme of season six, yet I didn't see a lot of maturing taking place, especially amongst the Scoobies. In my story ... well ... just wait and see. Thanks for the review!

01/30/2008 11:17 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Spike's talking a lot of sense - and Buffy seems a lot more open with him.  Love it!
When he isn't letting his emotions completely overwhelm him (and sometimes, even when he does) Spike is a very perceptive and intelligent person, isn't he? His being so determined to discuss these things is good, if difficult, for Buffy. It's almost the opposite of their relationship before. In 1880, it was William who kept his emotions suppressed and Buffy who gently worked to open him up. In the present day, Spike is the one who wants to talk about their relationship and their lives. Thanks for the review!

Pam S
01/30/2008 10:57 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         

And nothing about anyone else getting a job..  Spike is right.

Waiting to see where his money comes from.. Hopefully been in a bank and drawing a lot of interest over the years or poker

Don't think Buffy could handle from his past "meals"..  

  Glad she feels she can depend on Spike/William for comfort and understanding..

  Enjoying

Well, since William never collected from his accounts -- and since he had no heirs -- I'm sure that after an extended period of time his estate and holdings would have been turned over to the government. After all, no one would have been aware that after 50 or 60 years he would still be "alive." But the lack of a trust fund doesn't mean the lack of money for Buffy. Spike will be sure of that. Thanks for the review.

01/30/2008 10:29 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Doing the excited dance of favorite story ever updates (scaring my dogs)

<i>“All the pressure they’re putting on her"</i>, indeed!  On the show I was so angry with the lot of them dumping so much on the girl!
 
A bit worried about Giles and his behavior in this chapter...got a feeling it won't be anything good for Spike.  Think he'd agree with his S7 canon self that Spike should be "removed".  *shiver*

Why doesn't the most powerful witch in the world mojo some help financially?  Hey even hacker WIllow could shift a few pennies in the bank data base to help out! LOL  I always wondered that on the show...Willow could have magiced those copper pipes for crying out loud!  Rent at the very least would be appropriate (and what happened to the inventory of the gallery while Buffy was gone?)

Poor mixed up kids!  Spike has to learn to curb his temper along with that bloodlust she's so concerned about and she needs to just get over the fact he's a vampire and drinks blood.  Both need each other so much and yet are trying not to let the other know. 

Lovely update even if Giles scares me and the Scoobies piss me off.

Kathleen

Poor Spike is just so stunted emotionally. He expressed it in a different way when he was William, of course, but he was the product of a very indulgent mother and a serious lack of proper adult companionship. I'm sure that if Buffy had been allowed to remain with him in the past, she would have cured him of all his insecurities and taught him to express himself in a healthy manner. Because she wasn't, his problems have only grown over time. Now, his immediate reaction is to lash out when he is hurt, and you're right, he's going to have to change that. As for Buffy's acceptance of his true nature as a vampire ... that will be a hard road also. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. As always, thanks so much for the review!

ya_lublyu_tebya
01/30/2008 10:09 pm
Chapter Fifty-Three         
Sounds like Spike's going to help her- yay. And also, awww, just love this sweetness. It'll probably going wrong but it gives me tinglies. Keep up the excellent work.
I think that Spike -- both on the series and in my story -- is a very nuturing sort of person. Because he loves Buffy, he is willing to do anything to take care of her. It's one of the things I love most about him. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for taking the time to review.

01/20/2008 04:33 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
excellent read, thank you. enjoyed buffy has seemed to decide; loved dawn and spike's conversation; and lmao at the last line. that is so her egocentric 'freinds.'
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it - especially Dawn. I just love writing her now.

01/18/2008 06:48 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
I had no intention of reading this story until it was completely finished. For over a year I waited and watched hoping it would be done soon because it just looked so good. FINALLY I break down and decide maybe if I am lucky you will finish it before I get all the way threw. I am a completely idiot. I couldn’t STOP reading it. How was I suppose to explain why I was crying at work was because I was really a really really good book when I wasn’t suppose to be reading ANYTHING!

Please PLEASE update soon. This is one of the best written novels I have read in a very very long time! I can’t help but hope even if it is very slim that Buffy is pregnant. Hoping William will beable to figure out a way to tap into the family funds to help and I see the biggest troubles from here on out being not if they love each other but getting the rest of them off their backs about it.

Thank you! And I cant’ wait for more!
I'm so glad you decided to read the story now, although I know how frustrating it can be to become involved in a WIP. I'm hoping to update more regularly from now on, as my Muse seems to have come out of hiding.  Is it wrong for me to say that I'm happy I made you cry at work? Well, I'll just tell you that I'm flattered the story was able to affect you emotionally. Thank you so much for the review. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to it.

01/17/2008 02:55 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Yeah Buffy, you'd better get a job. It's not like you don't have enough going on in your life already. And friends sponging off of you, and a secret identity. It's a wonder more superheroes don't become evil or institutionalized. The stress of everyone's expectations alone is enough to make you crack.
I agree completely! If I were confined to that tiny little box that most superheroes are, I would be tempted to become a super villain. Buffy is tough, to be sure, but I think even she has her breaking point. Thanks so much for the review - I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer it.

Deb
01/17/2008 11:15 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Real life coming back to bite into Buffy some more. Love the reconciliation..just a bit bittersweet, but so lovely.
Bittersweet is the perfect word for the story, I think. One step forward and two steps back - but not without hope. I'm sorry I took so long to answer your review, but I just want to tell you how thankful I am to you for taking the time to leave it.

theartist
01/16/2008 05:45 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
And this is the reason I hated Willow and Zander during by the end of season 7. Giles was on my list of people who annoyed me also (although I could never really hate him). They were always trying to control Buffy's life.
I just wanted to offer a belated thanks for your review. I understand your anger at Giles and Willow; I don't blame you for being angry. Just remember that the story isn't over yet, so there is still hope for them all. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

01/16/2008 05:30 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
WHOOOOHOOO a new chapter. I am glad that they are trying to make it and that he really called her on her BS. Buffy has to learn to live for herself. I mean she is the slayer and from that point on she has to be able to make decisions and live with them. I just love Dawn. She is just a joy in this story. And HOW DARE, Willow and Giles tells her that she needs a job. How about Willow pay some RENT. And Giles just needs to figure out a way for the Coucil to get off the pot.

I'm so behind in answering this, and I apologize. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I think the reaction to Giles and Willow is almost universally negative, lol. I don't either of them are intentionally hurting her, but that doesn't mean they *aren't* hurting her. Thanks so much for the review!

01/16/2008 03:19 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Beautiful chapter as always. Loved Spike's speeches and his take on Buffy's desire to have everybody tell her what to do.
Thank you! I think it was about time someone told Buffy that, don't you? I always wished she would get the message on the show: stop letting your friends run your life!

01/16/2008 03:04 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
so nice to have your regular updates - I have been enjoying the story so very much - thanks for keeping us "happy buffyverse ff campers."
Aw, thank you for being kind enough to review so often. I really appreciate the feedback.

01/16/2008 02:55 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
With that last shoe dropped, I definitely feel sorry for Buffy even though she was the bitch early in the chapter.
Poor Buffy didn't mean to be a bitch; she's just confused. Of course, that doesn't make things any easier for Spike. Thanks for the review.

darknightofthesoul
01/16/2008 01:58 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Great chapter. I love this story so much. I check every day just to see if you've updated it. I can't wait for the next chapter. Thank you for writing this story!
Thank you for taking the time to review it! It really does help to know that people are reading my work and enjoying it. Makes the writing seem a bit more worthwhile. Although, come to think of it, I'd probably keep doing it even if people were throwing hard copies of it into the gutter. It's just an obsession.

01/16/2008 01:42 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
And everything is going along really nicely, loving the chapter, great...ahem, well, great chapter, enjoyable Dawn interlude then ... Unbridled Brunette throws in the curve ball.
I think I know how Buffy feels!
Well done.
lol. I do enjoy my curve balls, don't I? The weird thing is that they are always unintentional, so I end up surprised too. That might be why it takes me a while to get my bearings afterward. Thanks for the review.

01/16/2008 12:21 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
*crunches almonds happily* That was so romantic and gorgeous. I hope Spike can be good. You can eat lo mein while you write, can't you?
A very belated thanks for the review, sweetie. I've gotten so behind on everything. I'm a bad, bad  review responder, but at least I can eat me some lo mein while I type. lol.

... and don't bring out the almonds just yet.

kim
01/15/2008 10:36 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Oh, my God, they just......
That girl needs new friends!!!!

I love that Spike's standing up for himself while still trying to make Buffy happy. Relationships are about compromise, but not compromise of *self*. And you soooo nailed her fear of making decisions thing. If she'd only ever realize that friends that are that conditional aren't really friends....

Dawn rocks.
Yes, Buffy may be capable of bringing out the "William" qualities of Spike, but that doesn't mean he will be content to be a doormat. And, of course, we know our boy has a temper ...

Thanks so much for the review. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you.

01/15/2008 10:26 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Sweet chapter, UB. Looking foward to see the next one.
A very belated thank you for the review. I've been a bad writer and gotten behind on replying. Forgive me?

01/15/2008 07:02 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
They want HER to get a job! What about the freeloaders? What about The Council of users? Gaaaahhh I hate this attitude both on the show and here but it is in character. I imagine they also think to busy her up enough to forget William. Grrrr arghhhhh.

Love Dawn in their corner (Chipmonk with a bullhorn...tee hee). She needs to enourage Buffy to stand up to the lot of them. Buffy better because I wouldn't put it past Giles to try to "remedy the situation" for himself and that would be worlds of bad. I think Spike is really on to something. Buffy can do the Slayer bit with her eyes closed but the "normal" stuff overwhelms her and always did. She DOES look to others for self defining and direction. She needs to grow up and take the blessing she's been given.

LOVE this update. Not completely there yet, not either of them. Still they are on the right road and walking it together at least.

Kathleen
I hated the attitude on the show as well and I'm still not sure where the BtVS writers were trying to go with that. It seems like season six was all about making us hate Buffy and her friends. lol. But, as you said, it's in character for the story, so I'm wading into the angsty depths of money troubles. Brings a whole new level to "write what you know" don't you think? Thanks for reviewing!

01/15/2008 06:15 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Amazing, as always. Love that Buffy's not trying to hide what she wants...wonder how long their thing is going to stay a secret though? More soon, pretty please!
My Muse has finally come out of hiding, so I think I will be updating more regularly. Thank you for sticking with the story and for taking the time to review it.

01/15/2008 03:06 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Wonderful update, I hope to see more soon!
A (very) belated thank you for the review. I hope you like the updates to come.

time of change
01/15/2008 02:16 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
I missed a few chapters and had to catch up (no hardship). This story is so amazing. I cannot even find the words to tell you how much I admire your writing. To keep control of a story this long and complex is a remarkable feat. Thank you so much for keeping at it. This is one piece of fanfic I will never forget.
I'm glad you got caught up. I'm trying to catch up on responding to my reviews, so forgive me that this is so late in coming. I am very flattered on hearing your opinion of my fic. It's become something I never expected when I first began writing it, and I've become much more attached to it than I ever thought I could be. To have readers like yourself hanging on for so many chapters makes me feel incredibly happy and lucky. Thank you.

01/15/2008 12:54 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
I'm still here. Yay, we got some Spuffy lovin'. SO I wonder if Willow and Xander are going to make a bid deal with her sleeping with Spike. And now she has to get a job, oh joy. Can't wait till the next update!!!!
I'm so glad that you are. You're one of my favorite readers. ((hugs)) Thank you so much for the review. And I'm sorry my response was so late in coming. I'm just being bad all the way around lately.

Angie
01/15/2008 12:16 pm
Chapter Fifty-Two         
I love updates!!! Great chapter, and OF COURSE they want her to get a job!!! I love the way you write Dawn.
Dawn is incredibly fun. Anytime I write a scene with her, I know I'm going to enjoy myself. I just "get" her for some reason, the same as I "get" Spike. Put the two of them in a scene together, and I'm in writers' heaven. Thanks so much for the review!

01/15/2008 10:25 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Lovely update -- at last they're doing some straight talking! Those Scoobies make me seeth, though. Where to they get off telling her to get a job? Grrrr! I can't see anything good coming from their interference.
No, I can't see any good coming from it either. I think that until Buffy makes the choice to stand up to them, they will continue to treat her as a doormat. They don't mean to hurt her -- they don't realize they are even doing it -- but that doesn't mean they don't need a swift kick in the pants. lol. I'm glad you're enjoying the story and, as always, I thank you for reviewing. I'm so sorry I was so late in replying.

Miss. Onyx
01/15/2008 08:48 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
One thing that always perplexed me was why Buffy suddenly had to pay all the bills despite there being 3 adults who lived in her home. I would LOVE to meet the sucker who would just let me stay in their house rent free for an indeterminate amount of time, in the Master bedroom, just because we're "friends."

Loved this chapter though. Very sweet, and funny while maintaining the classic UB Wuthering heights worthy gravity!
That drove me crazy as well. They had the gall to move into Joyce's bedroom and empty Buffy's bank account, and never once were they called out on it. Like you, I would love to meet a person willing to be used so completely. Then again, I could never treat someone like  a doormat as Buffy's "friends" did her. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Anytime it's compared to something as incredible as Wuthering Heights -- even in the most minor way -- I become blush-y with pleasure. Thank you!

01/15/2008 07:53 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
*Bows before author* I'm sure if I try really hard I can pull some amazing witticism out of my ass about how great this chapter is; how true to character; how fantastic the writing is; how the voices sound so real; how the scene was everything we Spuffy fans could have hoped for. BUT.... I'm just going to stand here in awe for a little while. I might go light a candle in tribute or something, eventually. Maybe clap a little bit???

Great freakin' chapter. More please.
You are so incredibly sweet. I'm seriously flattered that you think so highly of my writing. This fic is my baby and, like all proud mothers, I love it when people coo over it and tell me it's pretty. Truth be told, I'll probably sob when I write the final chapter, I've worked on it so long. I'm sorry I took so long to reply to your review, but please know that I appreciate it more than I can say. If it weren't for the encouragment from people like you, I'm not sure I could have gotten this far.

01/15/2008 06:43 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
great to have the update and the nice exploration of Angel-Angelus and Soul -Love your endig-
Thank you so much! I'm glad you did. 

01/15/2008 06:38 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Argh! I just left you a long reply but my computer just did something wonky and I lost it all. Now its late and I'm too tired to make another long one, so just know that I really loved this as usual. Loved Dawn/Spike interaction

Fav. line from that >> "How’d you know I watch that channel?” she asked indignantly.“You told me.”
“Oh, yeah…” Just makes me smile.

Hope Buffy learns to love Spike fangs and all, and doesn't end up using him, just in a differnt way this time. Look forward to seeing what you do in the follow up chapters!
For some reason SR was also behaving badly when I posted this chapter, and a lot of reviewers on there said they lost long responses as well. I really appreciate the fact that you (as well as others) have been kind enough to try a second time. Your favorite line was one of mine as well. Dawn and Spike have a wonderful brother/sister vibe and they are so similar in temperament. Any time I have a scene with the two of them, the words just write themselves. Thanks for the review.

IT
01/15/2008 05:55 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Thanks for the update - I'm really enjoying this story. Ending with "They want her to get a job" was awesome! I can just see Spike flipping over that one! I like the insight Spike has into Buffy's personality and how she's so strong, but wants someone to take care of her, too. I can't wait to see how this is going to play out (maybe, maybe there's still a baby possibility....?).
I'm ashamed at how behind I am, answering my reviews. I really do appreciate your taking the time to leave one. I'm glad you enjoyed the ending, and I definitely think you're correct about Spike's reaction to it. Although she's a strong person, I believe Buffy does want to be taken care of. And I'm sure that Spike would be perfectly willing to comply. The problem lies in that she also wants to take care of all those around her, often to the extent that she hurts herself. That's what makes him so angry and it's something they will both have to work through in the future. Again, thank you for the review.

Ann
01/15/2008 05:17 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
It's so fascinating to read how some of this story has echoes of Season Six, and now it seems the money problems and her friends' lack of support with that besides telling her she's got problems is being repeated. I like seeing Spike and Dawn together and his thoughts about how she'd track down a murder case and her reaction to them sleeping together, without girlish squealing in delight.
At the beginning of this chapter I was happy that Buffy thought about how Spike being drunk and his words could have been spurred on by her friends' telling him about Angel. Almost immediately, though, she lost that insight or ability to think for herself. She wasn't even trying to tell herself she had to stay away and she was managing to hurt Spike! And I worry that she'll sooth herself by thinking Spike isn't as vulnerable as William, so he doesn't have any feelings to hurt; just jealousy and anger and possessiveness and a fake act of tenderness left over.
I hope to read more soon, and that Buffy wakes up to actually realizing what Spike is feeling and going through. Ignoring how he felt about being a dirty secret, what he saw about how she thought and behaved for her friends, and thinking a blowjob could make it better doesn't sound to me like she knows he's William, or someone who loves her, not just sex with her. I need to see how this plays out!
Hurting Spike was completely unintentional in Buffy's part, but you're right, it certainly didn't make it less painful for him. She's so confused at the moment and with Buffy, confusion often goes hand-in-hand with bad decisions. She truly does love him, but she has a lot of growing up to do -- and a lot of truths to face up to -- before she can give him what he deserves. The immediate assumption that sex would appease him proves that. Thanks so much for the review.

01/15/2008 05:12 am
Chapter Fifty-Two         
Excellent chapter! I love how Dawn just 'knows.' And "they" want Buffy to get a job. Not that a job would be bad, but the fact that "they" are all deciding this, especially as Dawn already pointed out that Willow isn't paying rent.
Dawn and Spike have such a connection with each other. I think she was expecting something like that to happen and was keeping an eye out for the signs. And because she loves them both so much, I'm sure she was happy about it. I'm sorry that it took me so long to respond to your review. I'm behind on everything at the moment. But I just want to tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you.

pearlseed
04/16/2008 10:00 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
bleary eyes or no, I'm going to try to stay the course--thank you for letting their eyes and hearts open together, I get a little frustrated by the hand of Calaban, arbitrary and harshly uncaring.  I don't know why I want their love to be, just know it feels so good when you let them slide together--two bodies, one soul, halves of the whole.  What a helluva deal love can be.....and that Spike proves the exception to the rule that pretty men can't kiss for beans......

pearlseed
04/16/2008 10:00 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
bleary eyes or no, I'm going to try to stay the course--thank you for letting their eyes and hearts open together, I get a little frustrated by the hand of Calaban, arbitrary and harshly uncaring.  I don't know why I want their love to be, just know it feels so good when you let them slide together--two bodies, one soul, halves of the whole.  What a helluva deal love can be.....and that Spike proves the exception to the rule that pretty men can't kiss for beans......

pearlseed
04/16/2008 10:00 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
bleary eyes or no, I'm going to try to stay the course--thank you for letting their eyes and hearts open together, I get a little frustrated by the hand of Calaban, arbitrary and harshly uncaring.  I don't know why I want their love to be, just know it feels so good when you let them slide together--two bodies, one soul, halves of the whole.  What a helluva deal love can be.....and that Spike proves the exception to the rule that pretty men can't kiss for beans......

pearlseed
04/16/2008 10:00 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
bleary eyes or no, I'm going to try to stay the course--thank you for letting their eyes and hearts open together, I get a little frustrated by the hand of Calaban, arbitrary and harshly uncaring.  I don't know why I want their love to be, just know it feels so good when you let them slide together--two bodies, one soul, halves of the whole.  What a helluva deal love can be.....and that Spike proves the exception to the rule that pretty men can't kiss for beans......
I think the reason I find Spuffy so romantic is purely because Spike loves her so much. JM was amazing at conveying enormous amounts of emotion with his eyes alone. And whenever Spike looked at Buffy, my heart just melted. Season five will always remain my favorite because it showed his journey from enemy to hero and it was all for her. *sigh* But I digress ... Thank you so much for the review!

01/06/2008 04:44 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
That was perfect -- it blew me away!
I'm so glad. Thank you!

01/05/2008 12:28 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
So glad that Buffy and Spike are on their way to reconciling! (I think they are, at least. Unless you pull a surprise I hope Buffy tells him that she was walking the streets in London trying to protect him from Dru, and why exactly she refused his proposal the first time, so he doesn't think she started out trying to lie to him. Great chapter!
Thank you!

Deb
01/03/2008 03:14 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Delicous reunion. Excellent writing as always!
Thank you!

01/02/2008 01:13 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Did I not comment on this chapter? I could have sworn that I did. I know I had thoughts. Maybe I forgot 'cause I read through it to beta. Anyway...

There's tons of good shit in this chapter, but I've been typing all day, so I'm gonna keep it short. Well, short for me, anyway

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You have a wonderfully refreshing knack for turning a phrase. "Like a funhouse mirror of who you were" is this chapter's gem. What a perfect way to convey who Spike is in comparison to his human self. He's still the same, but the reflection is distorted. That doesn't even take into account the irony of vamps having no relfection

There have been some great last lines in your tale, but “Let’s not do that again" takes the cake. It's so simple, but all the pain and heartache that the two of them have caused and endured are behind Buffy's words. We feel Spike and Buffy's relief as well as our own. It's as though we held a collective breath through the chapter and breathed a sigh of relief with them.
No, you didn't comment. Bad you! And can I just say how happy I am that you picked *that* line as your favorite in the chapter? I have to admit, I was rather proud of that one. Thanks for the review!

Denimm
12/31/2007 08:29 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
ohhh how I love this story
Please keep writing, pretty please
Don't worry - I'll keep writing until it's finished. I just hope you keep reading until then. Thanks for the review.

12/30/2007 06:01 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
very good read, luv. thank you. it is always difficult to decide who is the bigger ass, angel or giles.
That is a tough one to call, isn't it? Thanks for the review!

devani
12/27/2007 11:11 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
Beautiful!
Thank you so much!

Miss. Onyx
12/20/2007 05:09 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
......YAAAAAAAY! seriously....seriously yay!...ok because these two and all their drama were gonna turn all of my hair gray....I'm sure there is some more classic UB trickery in store, but that is ok, because at least I have this moment!
Thanks for this chapter, it was fantastic.
lol. Trickery? Moi? Oh, never!

12/20/2007 03:50 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
You're very good at last lines - I find that yours make me forget the whole rest of the chapter, so I have to re-read to remember the build up.

I'm relieved that this fic isn't finished yet...things are looking up, but I'm not ready for the story to end.

I was wondering when the ring would come back into play. This was the perfect place for it.
I think everyone was waiting for the reappearance of the ring; I'm glad you felt it lived up to expectation. Thank you!

12/20/2007 03:41 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Beautiful
Thanks!

12/20/2007 03:40 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
yes Yes YES!!!!

wonderful update, UB!! What a lovely early Christmas gift you've given your readers.
Loved how you wrote Giles - how he manipulated Spike with the truth.
The bit with Dawn at the door was well done - her fear and his misunderstanding of it.
And you left us with that dangling pregnancy still, too.
A belated and sincere thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

12/20/2007 03:21 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Whew what an awesome fight!
Thank you!

12/20/2007 03:21 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
I guess being laid up means you putting out another great chapter. Not that I want you to go hurting yourself again. Hope you are feeling even better today.

I would like to think this means that things would go well for them but I know you won't make this easy. There is Giles to consider not to mention Xander. I'm looking forward to seeing the reactions of the other scoobies as well. If Buffy and Spike go public. Oh, and btw, I'm wondering when you are going to be bringing Glory back into the story? Will we ever find out where she is? Then there is the fact that Buffy didn't comment or retort to Spike's quip on them having a baby. Still waiting on a definitive answer on that. No surprise to me that your keeping us waiting.

This chapter was a strange one for me in that nothing really jumped out at me as my favorite part or line. So I guess I'll go with...
* One world-class prat, he thought bitterly.* It's emotionally genuine. It speaks volumes of his own self loathing. And that even though he tries he's helpless to control his need to be with her.
Boy, have I fallen behind on answering reviews. Sorry about that. As always, I appreciated reading your thoughts. I've had a couple of other people ask me about Glory and, the truth is, she won't be coming back into the story at all. She was basically just a plot device to get Buffy into the past so all the other events could take place. There won't be any monsters of the week or an impending apocalypse in the story. This is strictly a character study and romance. I hope that won't deter you from reading the rest.

12/20/2007 02:53 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
It's the start they needed, one he's been waiting over a hundred years for. I know it's petty but I can't wait for Giles to find out. He's so full of hatred for Spike, he's no idea the humanity still left in him. So happy she's giving them a chance. Hoping this is just the beginning for them, the beginning of the life they started in 1880.

What a fantastic chapter, thanks Cam, I'm still bouncing with excitement! Have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!
I don't think that's petty at all. As much as I love Giles, he really can be kind of a prig sometimes (especially in this story). Thanks so much for the review!

12/20/2007 01:47 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
BEAUTIFUL! More soon please!
Thank you!

jess2357
12/19/2007 11:54 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
WOW! So good. absolutely love that last line - Austen-esque without being cheesy. Awesome
Austen-esque? Now, that is a compliment indeed! Thank you!

12/19/2007 10:28 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
Thank you for another mesmerizing chapter. *chokes back a sob* Thank you.
Thank *you* for being kind enough to leave a review. I really appreciate it.

Maya
12/19/2007 10:03 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
I love it!!!!
They are finally getting together, Spike and Dawn are friends. Things are of the good.
I hope she deals with her "friends" soon cause they are getting really annoying.
Its a great chapter can't wait for the next.
I don't blame you for being annoyed with the Scoobies -- I'm about ready to smack them, myself. lol. But I'm glad you're enjoying the story anyway. Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know.

akarinacj
12/19/2007 09:23 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
Bloody Perfect.
Thank you!

12/19/2007 09:18 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
This chapter was wonderful. The last of the scene between Spike, really Spike not pretending to be William, and Buffy was beautiful. At the same time, Giles and Dawn and Spike's drinking were all clearly realistic from what we know of canon. Watching Spike hurting himself with thoughts of Buffy and what she thought and what she was doing with Angel and then seeing him react that way to Buffy returning, making Buffy angry... I was petrified they'd leave like that and convince themselves they hated the other.
Great chapter and it leaves a reader desperate to know, Where do they go from here?
Thank you!

12/19/2007 09:16 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
This chapter was wonderful. The last of the scene between Spike, really Spike not pretending to be William, and Buffy was beautiful. At the same time, Giles and Dawn and Spike's drinking were all clearly realistic from what we know of canon. Watching Spike hurting himself with thoughts of Buffy and what she thought and what she was doing with Angel and then seeing him react that way to Buffy returning, making Buffy angry... I was petrified they'd leave like that and convince themselves they hated the other.
Great chapter and it leaves a reader desperate to know, Where do they go from here?
Thank you! I hope I can keep you on your toes and enjoying the story in the future.

darknightofthesoul
12/19/2007 08:21 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
DAMN. This was some unbelievable writing. I can't wait to see what happens next. This has been such an amazing story! It should be bound and published.
I am so incredibly flattered to know that you feel that way about my writing. Thank you!

12/19/2007 05:32 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
OH what a PERFECT, beautiful chapter! Gut wrenching emotions throughout and two sad hurt people finally SEEING each other aside from all the clutter of bad decisions and choices.

You made me cry when he said it would have been different had she been there, that he could have been good. I believe that. Had William the Bloody had someone worthy to love who wished for him to BE good, he would have (even the version on the show). He became what he was to please Dru (and in this story out of anger and frustration). He always was willing to be whatever pleased those he loved, it was/is his nature. Heartbreaking for its truth.

Hope Buffy puts her foot down HARD on Giles and the Scoobies. She may waver on starting up with Spike for a bit (and why do I think he may head off for that soul knowing her opinion of its necessity for good choices?) in time but I think she'll have to acknowledge the love is there.

Hon this entire story hasn't had one false note, one wrong word. I mean this compared to "professional" books, not just fanfic when I say it is one of the best written, most cohesive tales put into writing. I have adored every single aspect of it from the romance to the tragedy, the descent of a good man to a depraved monster and the struggle back again. Jim is loving it just as much as I am.

I really do see you becoming a "professional" author in time should you choose but even if you don't you have created a work that will stand the test of time with this one.

In awe as ever,
Kathleen
Your reviews are always wonderful and encouraging, but I think this -- "I really do see you becoming a 'professional' author in time should you choose" -- is the nicest thing anyone could have said to me. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how flattered I am to know that you think so. Thank you! (((hugs)))

Angie
12/19/2007 03:31 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
What a wonderful, beautiful chapter. I can't imagine anything that would have made that better! I loved everything about it.
What a compliment you've just given me! Thank you!

ElyseNotElsie
12/19/2007 03:03 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
YAY! I'm so happy you updated, and it's such a good chapter too!
Thank you. I'm glad you think so!

12/19/2007 01:36 pm
Chapter Fifty-One         
Thank you. That's all I can say. Thank you. Awesome chapter. Please update again. I was literally on the edge of my seat the entire time, with tears in my eyes. So again, I say Thank you.
What an incredibly sweet and thoughtful review! I can't tell you how flattered I am that the chapter had such a strong impact on you. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know.

12/19/2007 11:46 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Keep going.... I know with the holidays coming updates will be delayed so thanks so much for this one.
Thank you for taking the time to leave a review. I'm sorry about the delay between updates. I hope the wait didn't run you off.

ya_lublyu_tebya
12/19/2007 10:30 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Wow, that was one hell of an emotionally-loaded chapter. Fantastic work! Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much!

12/19/2007 08:48 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Okay, that was incredibly painful...followed by incredibly sweet. *sigh* Knowing them they'll be getting right back to painful again soon...but I do hope not!
To say that the Scoobies aren't going to be happy is probably the grossest understatement possible. lol
lol. Yep, that is an understatement of mammoth proportions. Still, I think there's hope for these two crazy kids yet. Thanks for the review.

TwilightChild
12/19/2007 08:47 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Awwww! A very soothing balm onto every aching heart.

They both hurt one another, but they also both care so much. At least Buffy's accepted that he's still there, that even though he's changed so much, William still exists.

Definitely want to see what comes of these new breakthroughs. I know Giles sure isn't going to take it well...
I'm so glad I was able to sooth the hurts. Thank you!

12/19/2007 08:40 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
guh.

that was...so very good. i don't have anything more constructive to say. it was just so very very good and i need to go be choked up somewhere else now.

darn you.
Aw, I'm sorry I choked you up. Well, in a way I am. In another way, I'm incredibly happy to know that the chapter had such a strong impact on you. Thank you so much for letting me know.

12/19/2007 07:12 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Let's hope this dance of theirs stops being two steps forward and one-and-a-half steps back. It must be love--nobody could forgive as many hurtful things as they both have without being hopelessly in love with each other. I am trying to figure out just who is going to trigger the next batch of Buffy remorse and guilt over being with someone who is not human. Or initiate the next 'but it's for your *own good*' round of Buffy mental anguish.
What a good way to look at it. They couldn't keep forgiving each other if they weren't in love, and no matter what else happens between them, there is always that hope to hold onto. Thanks for the review!

IT
12/19/2007 07:08 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
I love this story!!! Please keep it coming! Any possibility that the baby angle might come through? It would be beautiful for William and his mother. I'm glad they're being honest with themselves and each other now. Thank you for still writing.
Thank you so much! What a sweet thing to say. I'm flattered you're enjoying my story so much.

12/19/2007 06:54 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Okay, I was ready to kill you when Buffy was going to storm out after say that he killed his mother. But I'm so happy he finally cleared things up. No, correction. I'm happy Buffy decided to grow up and go talk to him, no matter how painful it was. It's good. It's a starting point.

And Giles. He's back on my hit list. Ponce.

I really enjoyed this chapter. Again, I was so thrilled when I saw the update. I know, I know, it's hard writing and stuff, or finding time to do it. But I hope you get one more update in before the New Year. Please, with sugar... err, naked Spike on top, lol.

Wonderful update!
I'm sorry there was such a delay between updates! The holidays really put me behind, and now I'm having to play catch up. I hope you hadn't given up hope. Thanks for the review!

caia
12/19/2007 06:49 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
You had me thinking Spike would ruin his chances for a good while with his temper, and then with utterly believable lurches, brought them to this tenderness.

I'm too cynical to believe it'll last, but it's a gift nonetheless. Thank you.
Thank you! To tell you the truth, *I* was afraid Spike was ruining his chances as well, but obviously I was wrong. Such is the joy of working without an outline. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

LadyYashka
12/19/2007 06:39 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
“Let’s not do that again.”

I really hope this holds true since the others are going to make it very difficult for them to be together. Wonderful update.
Thank you!

12/19/2007 06:33 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Bout bloody time some sense was knocked into those two! And honestly...I was thinking about this the other night, actually--Angelus perverted him; dashed his romantic notions of love and so forth, and wanted to remake him in his image. And had William had proper, um "good" guidance when he was first turned, I don't think it would've made much of a difference. I hope those crazy kids make it in this fic.

And yes--I'm still bountyful with my hope
You *don't* think Buffy's guidance (instead of Angelus') would have made a difference in newly-turned William? Or, was that a typo? Anyway, I agree that Angelus perverted him, and that he forced William/Spike to become calloused and cruel. If William/Spike hadn't hardened himself, he would never have been able to survive living with his grandsire. Thanks so much for the review.

kim
12/19/2007 06:17 am
Chapter Fifty-One         
Aaahh! HEEE!! He got the story out before she ran this time!! OMG!

She's kissing him now, but oh, things with Buffy are never easy....*iz scared*
Buffy is a complicated individual who likes to complicate everything around her. Who knows how that might affect things now ... Thanks for the review.

02/11/2008 09:56 pm
Chapter Fifty         
I hope Buffy doesn't believe Angel's misguided beliefs.
With Buffy, you just never know. Thanks for the review!

01/06/2008 04:26 pm
Chapter Fifty         
A brave move by Buffy and it may just set her on the right path.
Could be ...

12/20/2007 12:29 am
Chapter Fifty         
Sorry I missed this one. Just haven't been online that much lately. I saw your new update and had to read it. Of course you know it's been a favorite of mine since the first chapter. Don't know why the show never took into consideration that Spike could have had them all killed by other means, if he chose to. It will always to a sore spot for me and having Angel put his two cents worth in, is just infuriating. Still keep my fingers crossed for them and a family. Great work, thanks.
You don't have to apologize for missing it. I'm just happy you found it now and that you enjoyed it. Thank you.

gaby
12/18/2007 02:02 am
Chapter Fifty         
I had to read this story from start to finish! it took me two days to finish this (life gets in the way LOL but that still is fast) and i cant even begin to express my love for this story! i wanted to cry, scream, groan in fustration but it was so beautifully written. the details and the way you can explain things were so real. the love was so beautifully done, and i cried for spike in ch 45 i believe its when he breaks down and crys in front of dawn. arr i just over all love it and cant wait for an update! u have so much talent its beautiful! gah love it! my favorite spuffy story by far.
-gaby
How wonderful of you to leave such a kind review for me! I'm so happy to know that you're enjoying the story that much, and I hope you continue to do so. Thank you very much for taking the time to review. ((hugs))

darknightofthesoul
12/13/2007 08:29 am
Chapter Fifty         
Finally!!! Angel mans up about it!!!
It was about time, wasn't it? lol. Thanks so much for the review!

12/12/2007 05:12 pm
Chapter Fifty         
Oh, she wants him alright, who wouldn't?

Awesome chapter. Even now Angel tries to control what Buffy thinks...
Well, I know that I want him. lol. Thanks for the review!

12/10/2007 03:08 pm
Chapter Fifty         
I mean really can anyone stay out of Buffy's business. And I was so pissed that she would go and see Angel. If anything he just helped to push the Council's view of demons with no soul down her throat. She knows in her heart the truth about William/Spike. She just has to open herself to the real possiblity. Great chapter.
lol. This is going to sound odd, but ... I'm glad to know that you're pissed off. Whenever I can evoke emotion from my readers, I consider it a real success. Thank you so much for letting me know!

12/10/2007 12:07 am
Chapter Fifty         
"...his battered face beautiful in the strangest way."

Covered in sexy wounds, huh? Totatlly pictured Spike's face in the elevator after Glory's torture session.

Buffy's dream: I love dreams. I took an honest-to-god Freudian dream interpretation class in school (I know that most people these days poo-poo Freud, but, on some things, he knew what he was talking about). A dream is not simply the fulfillment of a wish. If dreams were all the fulfillment of a wish, then all of them would leave us feeling warm and fuzzy. They don’t. Dreams are an attempt to fulfill a wish. A struggle between two things is often the focus of a dream. Obviously, Buffy’s struggling between the ideas that Spike is or is not her William. Is Spike a demon that wears the face of the man she loves, or is he William harboring a demon? Deep, deep, deep…deep down, Buffy knows he’s still in there. Buffy’s dream suggests that her subconscious knows it to be possible. Now, all we have to do is convince her not-so-sub conscious

Buffy confronts Angel: When I read this, I think I heard a collective “FINALLY!” from the mouths of every Spuffy shipper on the planet. We all know that his I’m-not-Angelus routine is a load of transparent crap The show never tackled the issue, and it’s nice to see it in print if not on screen

I’ve got many, many ideas about the whole human, soulless vampire, souled vampire issue, but those are waaaaaay too complicated to get into here. But you did bring up something that I hadn’t previously thought of. It’s possible that both the human’s abilities to love and to hate stay intact when vamped: "The part that had hated. Yet…it wasn’t just hate was it?... 'What about the part that loved?'"

I always looked at it as one or the other. Probably because of Angel and Spike. Soulless Angel was a sick bastard. I always felt that Angel’s grasp on good--even with a soul--was tenuous at best. After all, Liam wasn’t exactly an altar boy…or maybe, he was, but not in the figurative sense Spike, on the other hand, loved just as deeply with or without a soul, as a human or as a vampire (I love him ) The idea that the abilities to love and to hate are both inside at the same time opens up a whole realm of stuff: Did Angel(us) still love Buffy when his soul took a vacation? Was it his love for her that made his soulless self hate her? Did he hate her because she made him love? How does Angel or Spike decide which one—love or hate—has the reigns at any given moment? Does choosing love or hate determine their ability to control the demon, or is it all a crapshoot? So thought provoking.

"'Do you think Spike is any different?'"

Damn skippy, he’s different Angel(us) would choose hate over love anytime. Spike, on the other hand, can’t even help but to love the Slayer whom he’s supposed to hate
Wow, I never even thought about "Intervention" when I wrote that. It was just a throwback to William's being beaten in Chapter Twenty-One. But, now that I look back on the episode, Spike definitely had the battered beauty going on. And lol to the collective "finally." Judging from the reviews, I'm inclined to agree. Still, they aren't out the woods yet. Buffy has all the pieces, but will she take the time to put together the puzzle? Who knows ... Thanks for the review.

12/09/2007 02:25 am
Chapter Fifty         
Playing catch-up yet again.

Giles and the Scoobies are being their typical delightful selves! Thank god for Tara and Anya (and Dawn, of course).

I am actually stunned that Angel told her the truth, or close enough to it. I would have put money on him trying to perpetuate the lie.

I'm glad Buffy is starting to realise that William and Spike are, to some extent at least, still the same man. Obviously time and experiences have changed him somewhat from the man she knew, but that would be true of anyone.

Poor Spike is hurting, but that was ineviatble, wasn't it? *cuddles him*

Looking forward to seeing where you go from here... I am hoping that they can start the healing and getting back together process... but I don't imagine you are going to make it that easy on us. LOL
There you are! I was starting to wonder. I was surprised Angel told her the truth, too. But he did it for selfish reasons, so I'm hoping that doesn't make it out of character for him. And I'm sure Spike appreciates the cuddle; it's been hard going for him lately. Thanks for the review!

time of change
12/08/2007 10:39 pm
Chapter Fifty         
You are killing me with this story, in a good way, but still!
Just don't die until it's finished, okay? Thanks for the review!

dawnofme
12/08/2007 09:27 pm
Chapter Fifty         
And yet another chapter to add to the reasons why I think this is one of the best pieces of fan fiction out there.

So amazing!

One of the best? *blush* I am incredibly flattered. Thank you!

12/08/2007 08:22 pm
Chapter Fifty         
For the first bit, all I can say is this: I still have faith

And Angel...I always suspected that Angelus was hellbent on destroying Buffy not just because of the humanity/love thing, but because he killed Darla, the woman he loved first, for her. Great dialogue and explanations.
You are steadfast in your faith, aren't you? Thanks for the review!

nmcil
12/08/2007 09:36 am
Chapter Fifty         
terrific last three chapters - so glad that I waited awhile before checking the updates - so nice to have more than one new part of this story to read. This work just keeps getting better and better - Hope that Spike's early vampire days and his desparate longing and love for Elizabeth will eventually find their way into the current era.

Glad to see that the theme of how much of the human and vampire are connected is being explored - I never accepted that there could have been so much separation between the human and demon nor the use that Angel made of his ensouled state to excuse many of his actions - particularly as souled humans are just as capable of acts of total horror and destruction to life. The Soul for me in the series always took the form of the potential for all people to live from their best part vs the primative instinct as well as the force that is vital for the development of humanity into a higher level of exsistence, both in their individual life and as part of the social structures of their societies.

Sure hope that you have another update soon -
I never accepted that either, and it drove me crazy that the writers would create just a big, gaping plothole and then never bother to try and fix it. I'm glad you like my explanation of things. Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I always enjoy reading your thoughts.

Miss. Onyx
12/08/2007 03:56 am
Chapter Fifty         
wowsa! Buffy is making some real moves right now. I really love her in this chapter, and thus far I havent since part on of this enchanting tale! Excellent job as always, and SO SOON! I can't wait for more!
I have you loving Buffy now? That IS an accomplishment. Yay!!!!

12/08/2007 02:06 am
Chapter Fifty         
if she could only understand, all of him belongs to her. but then this fine read would be much shorter and that would be a tragedy. very good chapter, thank you.
Thank you! Yeah, judging from the length of the story, I guess you can tell I don't like easy answers. lol.

n
12/08/2007 12:19 am
Chapter Fifty         
i love love love this story!!! this chapter was great...i wish they had something like this on the show. can't wait for more!
Thank you very much! It's wonderful to know that you're enjoying the story that much. I really appreciate your taking the time to tell me so.

jess2357
12/07/2007 10:14 pm
Chapter Fifty         
Awesome! Love where this story has gone since i last read it - been out of action for a while hence the lack of reviews. Really loved what has happened to Spike, the bits of canon threaded in. also love the reunion, so very good!
Welcome back to the story! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I thank you for taking the time to leave a review.

12/07/2007 02:49 pm
Chapter Fifty         
Awww, man, you stopped. Grrrr UB. I really enjoyed this chapter. Angel finally coming clean... yay! Though I wish Buffy punched him in the nose for lying, that would have been priceless. Though she did see Spike in action before the chip. He was around her mother alone and didn't try to kill her, he helped her stop Angelus. So she's seen just a small bit that he can do without the chip.

Can't wait until she returns to SunnyD and what comes next. I hope she goes and speaks with Spike.

Can't wait for more!
lol. I'm evil with the cliffhangers aren't I? Sorry 'bout that, but it shouldn't be too much longer before I have an update ready for you. And as always, thanks for the review!

12/07/2007 02:35 pm
Chapter Fifty         
As light dawns on marble heads. Well, Buffy's anyway. The rest of the Scoobies, not so much. Let's see what she does with the information.
Soon enough, we shall know...

12/07/2007 02:34 pm
Chapter Fifty         
Oh the big question ...as everything seems to coalesce in Buffy's mind. And it seems to me that Angel is still controlling! Where does he get off?! I hope Spike has words with him somewhere along.
On the series, Angel seemed controlling to me up until the very end. I liked his character on AtS, but put him near Buffy and he morphed into this immature arse who didn't want Buffy but didn't want anyone else to have her either. Thanks so much for the review.

12/07/2007 02:33 pm
Chapter Fifty         
As light dawns on marble heads. Well, Buffy's anyway. The rest of the Scoobies, not so much. Let's see what she does with the information.
Yes, it could definitely go either way at this point. But at least now Buffy is seeking information, which is progress for her. Thanks so much for the review.

kim
12/07/2007 06:02 am
Chapter Fifty         
She wants to know the truth of history, so she goes to ANGEL?? Just talk to Spike, you ninny!!!

Okay, reading rest of chapter...

Whee!!!! He admitted it!!!! Ah, but Angel, you're wrong about Spike....you're not counting what he would do for love, and frankly, you know he'd do anything for love. Spike would go back if he had no other course, no other options.....but if Buffy makes him an offer...he'll rise to be anything she wants.

Ooo, ooo, ooo, you gotta continue!!! Will she talk to him now? Give him a chance to just tell the story of his past? Just listen? Spike's like a mirror...if you come to him calm and respectful, he'll give that back. If you're hostile, he'll rise to meet it. Eeeee!
I am defintely going to continue. I'm hoping to have the new chapter finished in the next day or so. Thank you so much for the review!

12/07/2007 05:47 am
Chapter Fifty         
wowsers.
powerful stuff you've got going on in this chapter. Buffy leaving her friends, Angel's words...lots to think about while we wait for an update.
Love thought-provoking reading!
Ooh, I was hoping my readers would find it that way. Thank you!

12/07/2007 05:20 am
Chapter Fifty         
Very intersting turn of events. I'm really pleased to see Angel admitting his deceptions; I think this is the first time I've ever seen anything like this conversation in a story and it's qite a relief. I like the way you are getting her to look at the hard issues. Great saga; thanks!
Thank you so much! My beta said she had never seen the issue addressed that way either, so I'm very pleased that I managed to make it original. I hope I can continue to entertain you in the future.

12/07/2007 04:03 am
Chapter Fifty         
I continue to be completely enchanted with this story. The dream sequence is killer. The interaction with Angel very in keeping with his character I thought, and your attempt to reconcile canon's take on the effects of soul (whether it's absolutely necessary for change in a vampire like Angel, or hardly at all as with Spike) is certainly a believable one. Points for tackling the issue. Most writers skirt around such points of contention, whereas you turn it into a handy plot device
The dream sequence just came out of nowhere for me. At first, I considered removing it because it's so short. I had Buffy stumbling across the page on her own, without any preconceived notions. Ultimately, I liked the dream too much to axe it - I'm glad you like it, too. Thanks so much for the review.

12/07/2007 03:36 am
Chapter Fifty         
It means something, it means something!!! Ok, I'm done shouting at Buffy through the computer. Never does any good anyway. It's good to see Angel living up to his champion status and telling the truth. Oh, and "...the dimmest, slightest spark of something that might have been hope." Almondy goodness, or a hint of greater things to come? Guess we'll have to wait until we see the end of that cliffhanger sentence...
Heck, you could be screaming it directly into Buffy's face and it wouldn't do any good. The girl is stubborn, lol. As for what she will do next ... well, who knows? But at least she's starting to catch on. An open mind is definitely a good start. I'm not saying whether it's almondy goodness or not. I'm mean like that. Thanks for the review!

12/07/2007 03:26 am
Chapter Fifty         
Second update in a week! And Buffy's beginning to have a breakthrough...finally. And I love what you did with the Angel scene.
The Angel scene was probably my favorite one to write, because it let me work through a lot of resentment I have for the BtVS writers. The mythology they created on the show was so skewed. Angel felt bad for the things Angelus did, yet everyone kept insisting that he was not Angelus. Spike felt bad for the things he had done pre-soul, but instead of giving him a get out of jail free card as they had Angel, the other characters (Dawn comes to mind.) remained upset about his past actions. Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Cas
12/07/2007 03:17 am
Chapter Fifty         
Interesting conversation, and of course Angel sees it all only from his own point of view. Too bad Buffy didn't ask him about Spike in the early days.
Thanks for the review.

Ashley
12/07/2007 03:08 am
Chapter Fifty         
I squealed in delight when I saw the update. I'm sooo glad that Buffy is starting to question the black/white area and realize William is still in there (and to know that Angel wasn't so innocent in the Angelus fiasco). I'm hoping she decides she wants him. I know she does, but she has to realize that for herself. Keep up the great work!
Thank you! I hope I can keep you squealing for updates in the future.

12/07/2007 02:38 am
Chapter Fifty         
A new update, and so soon after the last! The muse must be treating you well. Finally Buffy is waking up! Yes her William is still there, always has been, he just has attitude now.

Thank you for pointing out the fact that, yes Giles does tell a lie from time to time, when he feels its called for. Hypocrite. I'm glad Angel came clean with her. You've got me starting to chew my nails, wondering which way you are going to go with this pregnancy thing.

*“They believe it is quite unlikely,” Giles said. “The PPD results will take longer…up to seventy-two hours. However, a positive result of that seems highly unlikely as well.”*

Sure its quite unlikely..but not entirely impossible! Argh! The wait is nearly going to kill me, cause you can drag this out for chapters if you want. *sigh*

But don't you dare rush it! I love every chapter and every word in it. I have complete faith in your talent and your direction with this story. My favorite part for this chapter was by far the dream scene. With the fav. line being...*He looked at her with eyes the color of topaz, and in a voice slightly slurred by his descending fangs, he whispered hoarsely, “I should kill him.”*

Beautiful job as always!
Thank you! You always leave such wonderful, detailed reviews. I adore Giles, but he really did have a track record for dishonesty. I understand his reasons for lying (most parent figures probably would do it if they thought the truth would hurt their "child."). But that still doesn't make it right. Especially now. He's trying to make decisions that he knows will make her unhappy; but to him, it's worth it because he thinks it is for her own good in the long run. I'm glad you like my characterization of him and the chapter as a whole. As always, thank you for reviewing.

TwilightChild
12/07/2007 02:17 am
Chapter Fifty         
And the fifty chapter mark is reached! You're a goddess. BTW, love the chapter in many ways. Love the confrontation with Angel and all the little revelations, both massive and subtle. Its about time Angel came clean.
I wonder if Buffy will ever find out all the things Angel is responsible for, the things he's done to Spike. Now that's a whole other confrontation.

Now, what will the Slayer do? Will she take back whats hers?
A goddess, huh? Yeah, I could get used to that. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter -- I missed you when you went AWOL. Thanks for the review.

12/07/2007 02:01 am
Chapter Fifty         
YES, GOD YES!!!!!!! FINALLY she uses her brain. Okay...in perspective she hasn't been back long and was in a lot of shock an pain. GO Buffy!! Now that she knows she can take on the naysayers as needed. Her William is there with some nasty stuff on his odometer but still her William. She knows that now and can begin to at least deal with reality.

Angel finally told the truth (and Giles is clearly revealed as a liar....SOSOSOSOSOSO glad she did snap to that in the last chapter (thought she had but wasn't certain).

Damn...so much gold here as in all the story.


"if I weren’t in some way responsible for those things…didn’t you ever wonder why I felt guilty for them" INDEED. And why SHOULD they seek "redemption" or feel guilt if the human truly is gone? Should Buffy have felt guilt for things done when Faith was her body? It would be the same thing if the Council/Giles/Angel lie were truth. Amazing that Angel admitted it though. THANK YOU!

This is just superb as always. Every word, every syllable, nuance is perfection.

*happy sigh*

Of course they aren't home free yet by a long shot. There is much hurt to clear up done to Spike both in the 1800's when she played fast and loose with the truth and since her return (especially that last encounter now that he understands what she meant). They also have to deal with the idiots who believe they know what is best her and it isn't William/Spike. Dolts!

Excellent.
Kathleen
ROFL - Do I detect a hint of enthusiasm there, pfeifferpack? Giles did shoot himself in the foot with his hesitation in the last chapter, didn't he? I think Buffy would have been pretty stubborn (and wilfully stupid) not to see it. I'm so glad you like my explanation for Angel's guilt! It was one thing that always drove me crazy about the canon of the show. I don't think the writers ever even stopped to think about the mythology they were creating, because it ended up so contradictory. As always, thank you very much for the kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Fangafaceandrea
12/07/2007 01:17 am
Chapter Fifty         
so, I just started reading this story 2 days ago and I'm already here, so that's should tell you how much i'm hating it XD

Right now I'm overwhelmed with love for every word of this story so can't get all critic on you, just thought i should tell you how wonderful this is.
lmao. Yeah, sorry you despise my story so much. What a mean flame!

Seriously, though, I am incredibly flattered that you think so highly of my story. I hope I can continue to meet your expectations in the future.

Shanna
12/07/2007 01:13 am
Chapter Fifty         
A new chapter so soon!!! What a lovely and welcomed surprise. I don't know if it still exists since Dru ripped it apart but I hope that Spike managed to salvage the HIAWATHA book that Buffy gave him. To have kept and treasured this book would, hopefully, open Buffy's stubborn eyes as to the truth and the depth of how Spike could and can love.
Thank you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

12/07/2007 12:55 am
Chapter Fifty         
Ah, excellent chapter! I didn't expect an update so soon! Buffy confronts Angel, yay! I'm glad the whole, "same person, soul/no soul" thing is out in the open. But will Angel tell her that Spike was still hung up on her after he was turned?
I'm hoping to have another update ready in a day or so. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks so much for the review.

12/07/2007 12:45 am
Chapter Fifty         
Why doesn't she go to Spike with these questions? He's never lied to her! ARGH! I'm so unbelievably frustrated with Buffy right now, I want to strangle her! So.... good job then! Can't say I'm not emotional invested in the story!!! PLease update again soon!!
If I've stirred your emotions, I definitely consider it a victory! Thanks for the review; I'm glad you're enjoying the story despite the frustration.

12/07/2007 12:21 am
Chapter Fifty         
Thanks for the update!
Thank you for reading and reviewing.

01/06/2008 04:18 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Another excellent chapter - no holds barred on all fronts!
Thank you so much!

12/06/2007 03:53 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
The best part of this chapter was Buffy throwing back Gile's own lies in his face. Well worth the wait!
I'm so glad you think so. Thank you!

12/04/2007 10:28 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
great job showing, in very few words, how knowledgeable anya is; how caring tara is; and how egocentric red and xander are. giles is still an ass. very good read, thank you.
Thank you for reading it and taking the time to review. I always enjoy reading your thoughts.

12/04/2007 07:27 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Damn, I was hoping just as much as Spike, that she was pregnant but you know that's something I've been hoping from the beginning. Now that he knoews that she wanted to go back to him, can't help but wonder how this is going to go. Will this lead him to get his soul, if it's the only way to bring them closer or will she final see that William's still within him? Glad Giles is seeing the whole picture now. Excellent chapter, thanks for the update. Have a safe and happy holiday, just in case you don't get to update before then.
Thank you so much!

Dreylin
12/04/2007 08:09 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Wow! I've just finished reading from the beginning to this point pretty much straight through. Just amazing. I want to pick out something specific I liked, but I just don't know where to begin. Everything is just tremendous.
How incredibly sweet of you to say! I'm happy to know that you're enjoying it so well. Thank you!

12/04/2007 04:14 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Once again the scoobies just can't stay out of someone's business. I do feel so bad for Spike. And for him to now think that Dawn is just another scoobie. I hope that Buffy and Giles can work through this. I just hope that Buffy and Spike can work through all of the assumptions and figure things out.
Thanks for the review.

Ann
12/04/2007 03:57 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Argh, Spike! Couldn't you catch that crumb you were hoping for in Dawn's message that Buffy wanted to be sent back, that she'd turn her back on her own Watcher to get back to William, and that she wanted to BE with William and keep 'something terrible' from happening to him? She wanted to be his wife and stay with him like she promised!

I hope Spike realizes Buffy isn't lying, but she is hurting and really believes William is completely dead. Spike could try to show her that he still is William, tho changed, instead of getting all defensive and hiding behind being a totally anti-William jerk.

Gotta read more! Great work as always.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

akarinacj
12/04/2007 02:43 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Fantastic as usual. The best fanfic ever.
I´m a little dissapointed that she might not be pregnant. Call me romantic, but I thought it so sad that William never had a family and the possibility of a part of William living on... But if Spike says she can´t be pregnant...
I love the way you make Spike get the information he needs, vía Dawn. It´s just great. Please, please, update soon!!!!!!
How incredibly nice of you to say. Thank you! I've just updated and I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

Ashley
12/04/2007 12:51 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Poor Spike. The scene between him and Dawn is great but incredibly sad. Giles is killing me with his whole Spike isn't William but he's someone who would take advantage of Buffy thing. I hope she can make all of them see that William's a good man, and I hope she's sees that he's still around.

Great writing, as usual. Very much looking forward to the next update.
Thank you so much. I've updated and I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

12/03/2007 09:46 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Great chapter UB. I wonder how Spike will handle it when he finds out the truth?
Thank you so much, Daniel. I'm glad you liked it.

Cas
12/03/2007 04:57 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Loving every second...but I kinda hope Spike is wrong about the scent thing. I loved how you inserted that trickle of doubt when Giles pauses in answering her question about personality pre and post turning...both subtly and effectively done.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

kim
12/03/2007 02:54 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Ooooo, good last line!!

Arrrrrrgh, Giles and Buffy are frustrating me so much!!! I was yelling at the monitor, you know. Darla would so be laughing her ass off if they gave her that line about the man and the demon being completely different people. She explained things to Angelus way back when....who we are informs what we become, which makes total sense, because, same brain!!

But I was cackling hysterically that she's being taken to a doctor for the tests. HEEEEE!!!!! Ooo, but those rotten Scoobies, being so mean about the thought of an innocent baby. Funny how everyone seems to be thinking that Spike was the same as a human, though their party line has been the opposite. They don't know anything about William, yet they're sure that he wasn't worth their Buffy. Blech!

At least Spike has Dawn.
Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Miss. Onyx
12/03/2007 01:33 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Wowsa! very good chapter. I can't wait for more!
Yay! I'm glad you liked it.

12/03/2007 12:31 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
oh god. please keep writing. this is the best fic i've read in a really long time. love it.
I will definitely keep writing, and I hope you keep enjoying it. Thank you!

12/03/2007 12:04 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
I don't know who the Scoobies and the distrust and the guilt are going to destroy first--Spike or Buffy.
Thanks for the review.

12/02/2007 10:47 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
*beams proudly*
I'm glad I did you proud. I know the first draft wasn't exactly promising, lol.

12/02/2007 07:02 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Continue to love this story; it's just so sad. Really looking forward to seeing what happens next. Thanks!
I know there's a lot of angst, but I'm glad you're enjoying the story anyway. Thanks so much for the review.

12/02/2007 06:56 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
I am so glad this story updated! I don't know about the pregnancy, but maybe it was too early for Spike to be able to detect anything. A fetus doesn't get a heartbeat for months, right? I almost want their to be a baby, something of William's Buffy can hold onto, just so she can show how much she loves it to those interfering Scoobies who are so sure she'll destroy any life connected to Spike in disgust.
I get that Giles is making an effort, but he's too sure he's in the right. I really hope that at least Dawn and Buffy learn the truth about what happened with William's mother, because Dawn cares about Spike even when she was faced with all the things he did. No wonder she thought he was capable of killing a pregnant woman. I'm kind of looking forward to Giles or Xander ranting about how disgusting Spike is and William was, how William meant to take advantage of Buffy, only to have Buffy go off and tell them that she was happy, engaged, and loved. That she loved him and that he was nothing like the sanctimonious jerk so self-righteously believes. I am very protective of Spike, I think that's coming across, but who he is is so much more than the thug vampire people assume. I love the doubt he placed in Angel right after he got the soul that is still affecting him about the Angelus sitch. Man, this story is just going in so many different ways and I hope for so much but worry about the pain Spike and Buffy will probably have to go through.
Please update soon! By the way, I voted for you in the Feeling Love Awards and hope others do too so word of this great story will be spread and your fans will grow!
You're right. A fetus doesn't have a heartbeat for about eight weeks, so if Buffy were pregnant, it would be too early for Spike to hear a heartbeat. But, like he said, her blood would have smelled different to him because of the flood of hormones pregnancy would have caused. You are so sweet to vote for me at the FLA! I really appreciate that very much, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story so well. And thank you for the review. I really appreciate the feedback.

12/02/2007 05:44 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Okay, first off, when I saw the update I squeed, did a happy dance then sat down to read.

I really enjoyed this chapter, Giles redemed himself in the car. But he should have controlled himself the night before. And Buffy, if she's not pregnant then what is wrong with her? i hope she doesn't have TB or something else. Maybe Spike's wrong. And besides how does he know all that about pregnancy women and their blood? hmmmm? Well I'm looking foward to your next update. This was a nice post birthday present, lol.
Happy dances are definitely good, lol. It's interesting that you say Giles redeemed himself in this chapter. I have gotten such a mixed response about his behavior. Everyone seems to read something different into it, which is just wonderful. It makes me feel like I made him into a real person, if that makes sense. Anyway, thank you so much for the review. I always look forward to hearing your thoughts.

12/02/2007 05:34 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Crap! I was kinda hopin' she would be pregnant!! Oh well! Poor Spike; I just want to give him a cuddle and pat his poor head!! *Grin* Awesome chappie; please update again soon!
lol. I think a lot of people were hoping that. But I'm glad you liked the chapter anyway. As always, thanks very much for reviewing.

12/02/2007 04:51 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Buffy had cut your picture out of that book—I think that hacked him off almost as much as the other. - LOL - Buffy commits the ultimate sacrilege.

Myabe Spike is wrong, I was hoping Buffy would turn up with a bun in the oven.

Another wonderful chapter.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.

12/02/2007 04:37 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
I just love you, you know that right? What an amazing chapter! Every scene and every word/action just ran so true. The scoobies were wonderful, I love Anya. From her innocent questions to her truthful statements. Giles and Buffy. He's always trying to do what he thinks is right for his slayer, even if it brings him to being a bit controlling. And Dawn and Spike, I love every scene you've written with these two and this one I think was by far the best yet. The dialog was superb and very cannon. I enjoy how you can make it your own but yet give them words that are true to the character.

Favorite lines: The one from Dawn about the Indian mounds made me laugh, along with her kicking his butt. Though it was Spikes line *
“Of course, I’m sure. Jesus, I’m a vampire aren’t I?” He was weary now.* That was another cannon type line that I picked as one I enjoyed. As for the pregnancy/non pregnancy, well what can I say? The vamp would know and you never eluded to him knowing..so unless you have an ace up your sleve, I guess I'll just have to be disappointed for Spike and his lost dream.
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I know that the update was terribly long in coming, but you guys have been wonderful about the wait. The line about the indian mounds is one of my favorites, too, so I'm glad you liked it. As always, thanks very much for reviewing.

Ashley
12/02/2007 04:11 pm
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Ohhh I am loving this story more and more! Everytime I see an update I squeal!!
Excellent work on this chapter, cannot wait for the next update!!
Loved it!
I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying it that well! I'm very sorry about the long delay between chapters this time; but I can assure you that the next update won't be so long in coming. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review.

12/02/2007 09:57 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
First, for some strange reason, the Buffy/Giles interaction had me well up with tears. It was weird. Please don't make me cry the next chapter--I just find it utterly detestable. But good on you--the writing touched me

As for Giles' pause, well, Kralik came to mind--a vampire who was exactly the same pre-turning. Or hey--Harmony. Besides the change in diet, she was exactly the same. I think Giles knows on some level that the soul business was kinda B.S. And William trying to mack on some girl? Totally absurd! Not that I'd expect Giles to know, but still...
Am I a bad person to feel happy about making you cry? Seriously, though, that is a huge compliment, knowing that something I wrote affected you so deeply. Thank you for reading and, as always, thank you for the wonderful feedback.

12/02/2007 08:28 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
oh dear. I hope Spike's wrong. I generally don't do for the pregnant Buffy stories, but I was hoping this time.
You are, however, one amazing writer.
Thank you so much! That's so kind of you to say. I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy the story.

fyreburned
12/02/2007 06:50 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Oh, no! You can't stop there! Noooo....Nuh-Uh!!! Please!!! We don't even know what the doc says!!! (Despite Spike's enhanced senses, perhaps he dost protest too much; denial much? Hey, the Great Poof's spermal success as a positive example aside, this might be their only chance!!!)PLEASE!!! Update MORE!!! And, Soon! Really, REALLY SOON!
Have been awaiting updates with truly bated breath...
Thanks!
~~K.~~
~~fyreburned~~
fyreburned@yahoo.com
Thank you for the review! There is an update coming very soon, I promise. I'm sorry about the long wait for this chapter. Blame it on NaNoWriMo.

TwilightChild
12/02/2007 06:38 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
Awwww, and there goes more of Spike's dreams. And why do I get the feeling that Giles knows that the nonsense he taught really is nonsense? If he just mentioned that, would it change things for Buffy?

Wonderful atop of wonderful, as always. Very excited by the chapter.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.

12/02/2007 06:30 am
Chapter Forty-Nine         
And she comes back swinging! Wow, the suspense in this chapter is extremely well-done--the first scene is medium, the second is intense, and then the third scene with Spike and Dawn just pushes it to the next level. Can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter! And I also have to say that Spike's self-loathing in this chapter is so perfectly shown in his actions and thoughts. That last line just breaks my heart all over again. Which, ya know, is the effect a writer wants in a reader, so yay!
I'm putting you guys through so much angst, aren't I? Sorry about that - but I'm glad you're enjoying it anyway.

pearlseed
04/16/2008 09:36 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Miz Unbridled, the last line is the only thing that has kept me from slamming this book shut forever.  Sweet his love is and her devotion and how in the world will you balance this one out.  Their voices are all strong--it's what makes the story for me--how much angst crud can folks figure to throw at Spike--how absolutely rigid can Buffy be?  Best outcome under the circumstances....I will hope til hope creates the thing it contemplates.  You write so very beautifully of William and Spike, the two who are and aren't.

11/13/2007 06:10 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Wow, about time she let it all out, Giles might not like her honesty but I love it. Her and William/Spikes's relationship is out there as well. What an emotional chapter.

Was it her dream or something that William did for her, I hope it's the sign she's been waiting for.

It really gets to me that Giles said Angel was right about anything. My heart goes out to Buffy and Spike. This is a great story, you've written it so well, thanks for sharing it with us Cam.
The last section in this chapter is a memory. It was actually a scene that I wrote for Chapter 16, but I had to cut it when that chapter ran long. The scene picks up where Chapter 16 ends, after Buffy and William leave the theatre. I wish I had made this more clear when I put it into this chapter, because a lot of people seem to think it was just Buffy projecting Spike onto William in a dream. But I wasn't sure how to do that without it reading as an information dump. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you so much for reviewing.

11/10/2007 02:35 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
a beautiful read, thank you. beautiful, even with giles forcing his warped view of the world on an already conflicted buffy.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I always love reading your thoughts.

11/09/2007 08:28 pm
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Oooh that beautiful last line is a precusor,yes?!
Could be ...

11/09/2007 02:56 pm
Chapter Forty-Eight         
I don't know right now who I'm madder at: Buffy for being so stubborn and buying into the Council's lies, Giles for being so arrogant that he won't try to *help* his Slayer cope with everything, or Angel for...well, just for being so him.
lol. Well, when you figure it out, let me know. Thanks so much for the review. As always, I greatly appreciate the feedback.

11/09/2007 05:03 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Powerful, moving and heartbreaking. The scene between Giles and Buffy is just perfect. I could just see the two of them playing out this conversation onscreen. It feels like something that should have happened in canon.
Thank you so much! I'm doing my best to keep things as realistic as possible, so to hear that it could slip easily into canon is just great.

11/09/2007 04:36 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Buffy needs to listen to her subconscious! It is letting her know that the love William felt carried over through his death and "rebirth". Dang I wish she'd THINK, just think. The Council has lied to her so many times (as has Angel), why she is taking their word over what is in front of her is maddening. I understand it's only been a short while for her since her happiness in the past but she needs to see what's in front of her.

I feel so bad for both Buffy and Spike. Angel and Giles should level with her since they know the truth of where she was. They should help her instead of making this terrible wrenching time ease for her. Giles is a S7 styled arse here!

Poor Spike, he hasn't snapped yet as to what her problem is. He is starting to put pieces together and has mostly gotten past her "lies" a hundred years ago but it hasn't occurred to him that she doesn't realize it IS him now as much as it ever was (okay, less a conscious and plus a few dead bodies *G*).

LOVE the update (hum.....Steven in reruns during the strick and your muse returns.....must hope this lasts a wee bit at least! LOL).

Kathleen
Well, I think the answer to your question is simple. Buffy is taking Angel's word over Spike's because if she didn't, she would be admitting not only that William murdered thousands of people (and tortured at least a few of them), but she would also have to face the fact that Angel is the same man as Angelus. Therefore, it was Angel who killed Jenny Calendar, who tortured Giles, and who threatened to send the entire world to hell. That would be difficult for anyone to accept. Still, I understand your frustration. Sometimes you just want to bop the characters on the head and yell at them for their stupidity, don't you? I know I do. lol. But I'm glad that you're able to sympathize with Buffy as well as Spike. She may be in denial at the moment, but it can't last forever. And, hey, at least she isn't intentionally hurting him the way season six Buffy did. And don't you dare hope that the writer's strike lasts a long time! I am in total Colbert withdrawal - it is *not* good for my Muse. :sniff: (But thanks for the review!)

11/08/2007 05:03 pm
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Ok, I'm crying now; that was so bittersweet. And I don't know who I want to slap more, Buffy, Angel or Giles! Really excellent story; I can't wait for more; please update again soon!
Thank you! As callous as it sounds, I'm glad I brought you to tears. It's wonderful to know that something I've written can affect a reader that much.

11/08/2007 03:54 pm
Chapter Forty-Eight         
I just feel so for Spike. He is really William deep down and he has missed her and been tortured for more than a century. Buffy just needed that pretend time but I think that just made it worse. He feels used. And she just wants to go back. I can see Giles being upset but he has to understand that she feels as if a part of her has died when William died. Just such a great story.
It's great that you're able to see both sides and feel sympathy for Buffy was well as Spike - that was just how I hoped my readers would react to this chapter. Thank you.

11/08/2007 12:21 pm
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Really like this story, keep up the good work.
Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

carryline
11/08/2007 11:06 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Still loving it! Hope Buffy realises that Spike's just the same as he was then.
Well, she can't stay in denial forever. Thanks for the review!

11/08/2007 10:36 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Another superb chapter. Great Watcher mode for Giles and I'm glad the reunion and inevitable Buffy run didn't floor Spike too much. Can't wait for Buffy to realise what she has.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

Serenity
11/08/2007 09:48 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Ok, so I reread my review and realized that I sound a little off my nutter. What I mean is that Giles's (along with everyone else, except maybe Dawn) hasn't really given Buffy any time to adjust to what happened to her. Like because she's the Slayer, then anything that gets thrown at her should just be brushed off and gotten over without any thought. While it irks me, sad thing is...that's exactly how they would have reacted in the show. Great portrayal by the way. Love the story and look forward to more. PS. sorry for the rant.
Don't be sorry! I don't mind if you feel angry with the characters and want to express that in a review. It's actually a compliment, if you think about it. It means that my writing is reaching you emotionally, which is great. I really appreciate your taking the time to leave both reviews. Thank you!

Serenity
11/08/2007 04:56 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Giles's attitude really makes me want to spit nails! Grr. Can't wait for Spike and Buffy to work things out and totally piss him off. Great dream sequence!
It's interesting, because the reaction to Giles has been so mixed. I have some readers cheering him on, saying that his tough love approach is just what Buffy needs. And I have other readers who, like you, just feel like smacking him. As for my own opinion of him ... I'm going to plead the fifth. Thanks so much for the review!

11/08/2007 04:45 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
What a beautiful last line for this chapter, and what a fitting one for Buffy's memory to include.

Even though Giles was harsh about it, it was nice to see him being the voice of reason.
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

11/08/2007 03:57 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
There is so much to say about this one, but I'm pressed for time. So just want to say that I especially love the second half of this chapter best. Her desperation to get back to 'William', Giles' confronting her about her selfish behavior, the dream...

Which I have to say that the dream reminds me (though a bit different) of the garden scene from (one of my favorite movies) Nottinghill. If you've seen the movie then you know what I'm speaking of. Again I just want to say how much I appreciate your work and devotion to this story. It is by far in my top three all time favorite Spuffy fanfics.
I've never seen Notting Hill. When you have the time, would you give me a synopsis of the scene? I'd hate to think that my dream sequence is very similar to a scene in a movie. I like to be original.

That aside, I'm very glad you enjoyed the chapter. As always, I want to say thank you for taking the time to leave a review.

grave tidings
11/08/2007 03:33 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
If you do not write romance professionally, you should. With little effort, this could be turned into an original novel. I wish you'd consider it. This story is beautiful.
How incredibly sweet of you to say. I am hoping to write professionally, so it's a great confidence boost to hear that you think I can. Thank you!

Cas
11/08/2007 02:48 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Loved the fountain. Will Spike recite the poem to her later? Great to see the update.
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

11/08/2007 02:36 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Very beautiful and sad. Liked the scene with Giles and his interesting defense of Spike's destiny as a vampire. Weird but true.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you're still enjoying it.

kim
11/08/2007 02:25 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Go, Giles!!!!!!! he's right. She doesn't even seem to care about what would happen to Dawn, her own blood. And using Spike....

It wasn't just Angel that prevented the Nazi's and Initiative from getting what was on that submarine. And if Spike and Dru hadn't eaten the rest of the gypsy camp while Darla was trying to make that deal, then Angel's curse might have been reversed right then, and he'd have been Angelus all this time.

Whether time is like a tree, or a single cord, peventing William from becoming a vampire like he already once did could have disastrous effects on the timeline.

Poor Spike...she's so stubborn and stupid.

Oooo, nice last line.
I know Buffy seems to be acting selfish lately, but she's in love and in pain, so don't judge her too harshly. I promise, she won't keep her head in the sand about Spike forever. At the moment, it's just really difficult for her to admit that William could be capable of becoming the violent killer Spike once was. But, like I said, it won't last forever. Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you're still enjoying the story after all this time.

Ashley
11/08/2007 02:14 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
So excited for an update! I loved the fountain scene--so beautiful, but I wish Buffy would wake up and see Spike...grr!

Looking forward to more
Don't worry, Buffy can't keep her head in the sand forever. Thanks so much for the review; I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

time of change
11/08/2007 01:41 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Ah, that is a beautiful thought: that love can transcend death. And this is a beautiful story. I have been with you on this story since you started writing it, and I love it more with each chapter. Your courage as a writer in undertaking a project of this magnitude is amazing.
What a nice review. It's wonderful to know that you're still enjoying the story so well after 48 chapters. I hope I can keep you entertained in the future. Thank you!

11/08/2007 01:11 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Buffy's still with Spike and William not being one. *sigh* But I think she's getting an idea that maybe she could be wrong.

Giles now knows, which is a good revelation. And what is this destiny that Spike must fill? Can't wait for more. I was so thrilled to see an update. I did the snoopy dance, lol.
Oh, there's hope for Buffy yet, don't worry. I just hope I can keep you Snoopy dancing for future chapters. Thank you!

11/08/2007 12:55 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
The situation we discussed the other night gave me no indication of what was to come! This love story just keeps getting better and better, more complicated and more beautiful. There is no doubt in my mind that this is one of my favorite stories. Not just my favorite fanfic story (that goes without saying!) but like one of my favorites *ever*. Good luck on Nano!
I'm glad I didn't give anything away. I was kind of worried about that, lol. And one of your favorite stories ever? Wow, thank you!

Bridget
11/08/2007 12:47 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
Thanks for the update. I really hate that Buffy is so selfish now that she has returned. I hope that at some point she actually sees Spike as the person she left behind and his feelings for a change. Good chapter, I am glad that Giles and Tara know what happened.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked the chapter.

11/08/2007 12:39 am
Chapter Forty-Eight         
The crypt scene wasn't what I expected at all, and therefore, I don't hate Buffy. Now I feel kinda sorry for her...

Ooh--lovely description of the fountain and the area arounded. Sounds terribly romantic...I hope Buffy remembers William's answer--that love can transcend death...Great update
I'm really glad to hear that you don't hate Buffy -- it's definitely not my intent to rehash season six and turn her into a character everyone reviles. As always, thank you for the review!

nmcil
11/06/2007 09:57 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
wonderful to have an update - this is such a good Buffy-William-Spike work. Can't say I like your present Buffy much, but I have hopes that she may start to see the world in the shades of gray that are reality and not deny that William lives or did live in Spike.
I understand the antipathy for Buffy at this point ... a lot of readers seem to have it. But she's not being intentionally cruel, I promise you that. And this will not become an alternate version of season six's abusive mess. It might be angsty ... but it will never be something that twists Buffy (or any of the characters) into horrible people. Thank you so much for your review. I appreciate your taking the time to leave it.

10/28/2007 05:04 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Amazing - that was just amazing. I feel sorry for both of them; Buffy - for thinking that she has to pretend that she's with William and Spike - for loving her so much that he just gets swept away and proves that he is still very much the William she feel in love with.
And may I add that the ending was so hot that I think my computer may be smoking.
It's great to know that you're sympathizing with Buffy as well as Spike. I was a little worried that readers would hate her for "pretending." Thank you so much for taking the time to review.

Ashley
10/27/2007 12:06 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Such a great way to end the chapter and so frustrating b/c I want to know what happens next I can see things going downhill soon, but hopefully, Buffy will gain some sense.

This is written so vividly, and I love the history you gave Spike and how he became the hardened vamp we first met. I also like how it explains why he's never been successful at killing Buffy and why he would fall in love with her.

Buffy and William's relationship was so full of love, and my heart broke when her meddling friends brought her back (they're pesky like that). This story is wonderful, and I'm so looking forward to the update!

Sorry for the long, overall review, but I was so eager to get from chapter to chapter, and by the time I had finished, I was a wee bit tired.
Hey, don't be sorry. I love long reviews! And I really appreciate your taking the time to leave this one. It's wonderful to know that you're enjoying the story that much.

Meredith
10/26/2007 01:20 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Amazing. I can't wait for more!
Why thank you! I'm very happy you feel that way.

10/25/2007 08:07 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Well, I just hope Buffy comes out of "pretending". Somehow she just knows what the Watchers say is wrong. She needs proof.
Who knows what the outcome will be ... I just hope you'll be along for the ride. Thanks for the review.

10/25/2007 07:33 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
“…I just want to pretend for a while,” that does not bode well for the aftermath. it is really a tragedy angelus did not kill more of the scoobies in canon. very good chapter, thank you.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Serenity
10/25/2007 02:51 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Gah! Damn those meddling friends of hers! Just leave her alone for a while until she's bloody well ready to talk about what happened! Grr. Oh, and glad she finally went to Spike...even if it is only for a bit of cold comfort. At least they are together for now! Am I bad for wanting her to be preggers? Eagerly anticipating another chapter!
Nah, you're not bad at all -- and you're definitely not the only reader who does. As to whether she is or not ... well, you know my lips are sealed. Thanks so much for the review!

10/25/2007 02:11 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
That was beautiful. There are no words. Except for these: update soon?
As soon as is humanly possible. I promise. And, as always, hon, thank you very much for the review.

BT_
10/24/2007 04:16 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
somehow, I don't hink this is going to turn out well.
SO GLAD for an update!!! Thank you!
Thank you so much! I'm sorry you had to wait so long for the new chapter, and I really appreciate the patience.

10/24/2007 02:42 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
So, I'm slightly embarrassed that I thought of this chapter so much, but work was particularly boring today

“Tell me you love me”

When we heard that on the show, it was just before Buffy dumped Spike. Buffy spent Season Sex denying that Spike loved her. Now, she’s seeking out love, wanting to love and be loved by William. On the show, Buffy used Spike’s body to help her feel. Buffy doesn’t need to try to feel now. She already feels—love, deep loss of William, and confusion about the demon that wears his face. From Buffy’s perspective, she wants Spike to be William, and the only way for her to pretend that he’s her William is to use his body. Afterall, Buffy believes that the demon sets up shop in the human victim’s body. So, to Buffy, William’s body is the only thing left of him.

What Buffy fails to realize is that we are more than just the sum of our parts. She takes off his duster because she doesn’t want to be reminded of Spike (Great use of metaphor! Ever read “The Scarlet Letter?” There’s this part where Hester takes off her “A” and throws it on the ground while she makes out with Dimmsdale so that she can pretend that they aren’t being all immoral.) Spike still has his memories and his body and his love for his Elizabeth (and now for Buffy), but not his soul. Our memories, our thoughts, our emotions, feelings, our bodies, our spirits—all of these things make us who we are. We know that he’s still inside, that Spike is just as much William as Buffy is Elizabeth. How will Buffy feel when she realizes that she’s used the man that she loves? God, my stomach is tied in knots just thinking about it

I get the feeling that part of Buffy already realizes that Spike is William; but, I’m sure she’ll deny it heavily On the show, Buffy calls Spike “William” twice. Once in “No Place Like Home” when she catches him behind the tree. And again in “As You Were” when she dumps him. Both times, it’s almost as if Buffy picks up on his vulnerability vibe, sees something other than his Big Bad swagger, and names it William. One could surmise that, deep, deep, deep…DEEP down, Buffy already knows that something is different about Spike, even without a soul, and that Angel’s I’m-not-Angelus routine is a load of hooey. Buffy didn’t exactly have a pleasant encounter with Angelus back in time, but she still treats him like a person because he has a soul. For now, Buffy seems to still be clinging to that belief.

On the other hand, Spike knows that Buffy is still the same person despite the name difference. Her, “I just want to pretend,” sets off an alarm, but he ignores it because he loves her too much to muster a give-a-damn. Spike’s greatest virtue—love—is also his biggest vice.
Ooh, don't be embarrassed. I love long reviews, so thank you! I read "The Scarlet Letter" back in high school, but I forgot that scene. It's flattering to have my story compared to it in even a minor way, so yay! Your assessment of Spike's greatest virtue being his greatest weakness is right on par with how I feel, too. Is it any wonder we love that boy so? Imagine being so consumed with emotion like that.

Reb
10/23/2007 09:41 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Okay . . . her Buffy-logic is in overdrive this time. I wish easier going for them, but if she won't fully engage, it's going to be the long way 'round. As always. At least they've stopped shouting, for now.

Thank you so much for this. It's been a long wait, but it's awfully satisfying to sink back into it. Keep on doing that thing you do so well, UB. Solid foundation and dizzying spires, that's what you've built here.
And we all know how useful that Buffy-logic is, lol. And you're so right. Until she's ready to fully face facts, they aren't going to be able to move forward. As for when that will be ... well, you've got to wait and see. It's great to know that you think so highly of my story. Thank you very much for taking the time to let me know.

10/23/2007 09:37 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Wow. Sweet chapter UB. I wonder what will happen next.
Thank you! I guess as long as you keep wondering, then I'm doing my job, huh? I hope I can keep you entertained in the future.

10/23/2007 08:40 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Brilliant chapter - this just gets better and better. I just know Spike should have listened to that twinge of anxiety. Stunning.
Thank you so much. I always love reading your thoughts, Lou.

time of change
10/23/2007 07:21 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
You are breaking my heart with this story. So beautifully written, such character insight...love it.
How nice of you to say! Thank you.

SlimToNone99
10/23/2007 06:47 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Thanks sooooo much for the update! I adore the whole story!
I am so glad that you do. Thank you!

10/23/2007 03:35 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Awesome chapter. I really just don't want to see what happens next. I have a feeling that she is just going to leave him and he is going to be so crushed. I do love Dawn in this meeting. And the scooby's just can't stay out of someone else's business.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked the chapter.

carryline
10/23/2007 12:57 pm
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Love it, love it, love it! Please update soon. I'm desperate for more!
I'm so glad you love it! I'm working on the new chapter now, so I hope you won't have to wait very long for the next update. Thank you very much for taking the time to review.

Veronica
10/23/2007 07:29 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Thank you for the wonderful update! Well it makes sense that Buffy could have contracted TB -- she was around Anne after all. Maybe while they take care of her sickness they can take care of her stupidity too? Just a thought.

You definitely make it worth the wait and leave us wanting more... made my whole day!
I'm so glad it was worth the wait! I know it was a long one. I'm pretty sure my writer's block is behind me now. Hopefully, you guys won't have to wait so long for another update. Thanks so much for your patience and for the review.

10/23/2007 07:19 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
An update, bless you. You know how much we love this story, so grateful for what ever you can give to it. Guess it's possible for her to have got comsumtion, Anne had it after all. They're going to be shocked when they find out who she fell in love with. Cold comfort, once again? I do hope it's more then that, for both their sakes. Again, so grateful for the update. I've only come over here to read this. Can't wait for more. Great update.
You only come here to read my story? Wow, I am so incredibly flattered. Thank you!

10/23/2007 06:24 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
God, this chapter was worth the wait. So now the gang thinks Buffy was made to sleep with the man of the house. So if they find out it was Spike and based on their ideas of who he was befor ehe was turned their all going to think he basically raped Buffy. Just peachy... not.

Buffy's giving into her desires for wanting William, why do a smell some major drama coming? lol And the crypt door is still open, don't tell me Dawn walks in looking for Buffy? And if demons are constantly walking past... oh my.

Well I can't wait for the next update. But I have too, lol. Thankd for the great read UB!
Thank you for reading it, GB. I always love reading your reviews.

10/23/2007 05:18 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Oh Buffy Buffy Buffy WHY can't you start to question those "facts" you were taught and SEE the man in front of you??? The girl is patently stupid. She is at least unable to prevent herself from going to the flame and that's a start.

When her "dear friends" and Watcher figure out she was with William THEY will react like he's Spike an the stakes will be out in no time so Buffy better get her act together and show she's at least half as smart as little sister.

Poor Spike. Once she's done he'll think again and realize she is still denying him. I still blame Angel for this and wish that jackass would own up to vampire nature so she'll at least entertain the thought that Spike is being truthful (much as I hate it that she would take Angel's word for it over Spike's but that's where she is at the moment).

Worth waiting for. Still adore this story.

Kathleen
If she's "patently stupid" in my fic, then I must be getting her characterization right, yes? I'm so glad you're still enjoying the story. You know I always love hearing from you.

TwilightChild
10/23/2007 04:43 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
YAY! Hotness, love it. But, of course, she's just using him. Always using him. She's going to break his heart into tiny tiny pieces, isn't she?

Love it. Love it love it love it. Ty much for updating, UB, made my whole day ^_^
Wow, I'm so glad to hear that it did, TC. Thank you!

10/23/2007 04:04 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
the ones who did were bakers and seamstresses, or maids. Okay that sounds like really hard work to me.

You're not going to make Buffy sick are you, mean writer? Spike will have a cow.

Also, woo hoo!
Mean? I'm not mean at all. Or ... am I? Muwahahahaha! Thanks for the review!

Miss. Onyx
10/23/2007 03:58 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Wow, this was intense...
I know some people may be rejoicing in tis turn of events, and in a way I am too, but something about the tone feels very...ominous.
Ominous, huh? Mmm...could be.

10/23/2007 03:42 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
I really didn't expect this chapter to end the way it did, but I'm sure it's not anywhere near a happy ending (no pun intended). Buffy's "I just want to pretend for awhile" echoes season 6 to me, and that scares me.
lol. Now, see if you hadn't mentioned the "no pun intended," it wouldn't even have occurred to me. Thanks so much for the review!

10/23/2007 02:55 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Bleeding Hell are you ever the tease! What a place to leave it at. But oh so good. This certainly was worth the wait. Yet bittersweet. Here she goes again using him, only different circumstances.

I really appreciated your bit of condom history..lol. It was priceless having Anya be the one to voice to it. *You had to tie them on with string and the smell was—”* I remember imaging the same thing myself when I read about this many years ago, but the smell! Hehe.

I could have easily have chosen a number of different lines that were my favorite in this chapter, heck the whole last half for that matter. But, and it is from the second half...

*He could have beaten her for that. For refusing to admit who he was and what he had been to her. He wanted to beat her. Chip or no chip, he wanted to hit her; but he didn’t. * I always appreciate a story so much more when an author keeps in line with Spikes true character. This is what his feeling where on the show many times and its no different in your story. Can't wait for what you have in store for us next.
The condom line just sort of slipped out, lol. I was answering a review on SR where the reader asked if there was birth control in the Victorian era. I was explaining the condoms and all of a sudden Anya's voice was in my head, jabbering away. (Does this mean I'm crazy?) Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and the rest of the chapter. Thanks, as always, for being kind enough to leave a review.

kim
10/23/2007 02:38 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Oh, man.....oh, poor Spike....it's not going to matter what he does or says right now...she's just going to use him because he's William shaped....her denial is too great. Oh, I see this leaving to very bad things....
No comment on that. But thanks for reviewing.

10/23/2007 02:30 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Oh no...she's just pretending, cause Spike's "not real." Gosh, he's gonna be in a world of emotional pain--again. Or I could be horrendously wrong. Hopefully, I won't have to wait long to see either way
Nope, you sure won't. I hope you like the new chapter when it comes. Thanks for the review. You know I always love hearing from you.

10/23/2007 01:57 am
Chapter Forty-Seven         
Oh God; what is she doing??? You just know she's using Spike to replace William; refusing to see the man inside the monster, as always!!! I know Spike's done some horrible, horrible things, but I always hated the way Buffy treated him. Sure, don't trust him if you don't want to, don't believe the avowals of love, but you don't have to be mean!!

That being said, great frickin' chapter!!! More, more, more!!! I can't wait to read more of this story; you've really captured the characters voices; it's almost like watching episodes of an alternate season 6. Can't wait to read more of your excellent work!!!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're still enjoying it, and very flattered that you're enjoying it so well.

mesh
11/15/2009 05:38 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
“Dawn!” exclaimed Willow in her best maternal tone. “Where have you been? We’ve been beside ourselves!”

prolly just a one ime accident but I KNOW she would never say that
I'm not sure I'm following ... Why do you feel she would never say that?

10/25/2007 02:04 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
AHHHHH!!!!!! Sorry, had to let that out! Oh, how I wish Buffy would take off her Angel-tinted glasses. No more talking, onto 47!
Buffy has such a blind spot when it comes to him, doesn't she? Thanks for the review.

sinober
10/22/2007 12:52 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Oh, how I love your story! Please update soon...
My new chapter is finally finished and with my beta. It shouldn't be long now. Thanks for the review.

Rapsody
10/20/2007 07:12 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Please finish, I think you have something here.
I'm certainly glad to hear that. Thanks for the review.

10/11/2007 11:07 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
If Buffy were pregnant, would she get any smarter? Maybe the child would have Spike's intelligence and some of it would leak into Buffy. ARRRGH

At least Angel appears to be somewhat less stupid than usual. More story soon please.
More is on its way very soon. Thanks for the review.

Deb
10/09/2007 07:54 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Great ending teaser. Wouldn't it be lovely for them to be able to have a child. So much still to overcome. Have a great time with writing!
Thanks so much!

suzanne
10/05/2007 02:30 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Oh, I really hope Buffy is pregnant...
Well, you never know ...

09/28/2007 07:54 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Another fantastic chapter - like that's a surprise! I love how you're portraying Dawn. When the writers didn't have her being a whiney brat, she always was a sharp, very perceptive little thing. And she always seemed to really see Spike - not just the Spike persona, but all the way through to William. It's not surprising that she was able to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

And that ending just blew me away! TB and an unplanned pregnancy really are distinct possibilities, and it says a lot about Angel's intellignce that in spite of his anger and jealousy, he immediately thought of that.
Aw, this is just the kind of cliffie that I absolutely love to hate. Hanging by my fingernails (what I haven't bitten down to the quick while reading this), patiently (or as patiently as possible), awaiting the arrival of the next chapter.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the chapter. Dawn is a fun character to write, so I love knowing that people are enjoying reading her. And you're right - Angel is intelligent. I always hate it in fanfics when he's portrayed as some slow-witted oaf. He could be willfully obtuse sometimes, but he wasn't stupid. I hope you're still hanging on for a new chapter, because one is coming very shortly. I'm just sorry about the delay.

SarahR
09/27/2007 08:22 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
So is Angel just being bitchy, or is Buffy really pregnant? Hmm. I've never been too keen on baby fics, but we'll see, I guess.
Can't really answer that question. But thanks for the review.

09/26/2007 10:52 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
Wonderful updates - Buffy can certainly be someone very easy to dislike at times - she wraps up her emotional trauma in cruelty and hate with such passion and tragic lack of knowledge and insight -

This is such a wonderful story - sure hope that you have new chapters soon - thanks for the great read.
Thank you so much for the review. I know I'm very late in updating, but my new chapter is now with my beta and should be posted very soon. Sorry for the delay.

09/25/2007 03:45 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
love the way you portray dawn. can't stand the great poof (but have to like the PPD and pregnancy test line.) would most fanfic tales be short stories if red did not want everything the way she though it should be? very, very good read, thank you.
ROFL - yeah, Willow is the cause of a lot of conflict in fanfiction, isn't she? Thanks for the review.

09/24/2007 10:30 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
I am just so proud of Dawn. Go girl and be there for your friend and maybe she can get Buffy to start thinking straight. And how DARE the scooby's still try to 'fix' everything but they put her in DEBT and haven't told her. I am glad that Angel is back in LA. That is where he should be. Just a great chapter.
Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it.

09/24/2007 04:10 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
I've never reviewed for a story before, but I just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying this story. That being said, I've never liked the Dawn character. And even though I'm happy that she's comforting and loyal to Spike, I still don't like her in this story. Instead of being rude and disrespectful to Buffy, she should try a different approach. I don't mind her being upset with Buffy, and believe that eventually she will help Buffy open her eyes and realize that Spike in a way is William. And that not all vampires are the same. Buffy was taught that all vampires are souless, evil creatures who are incapable of love. It's going to take sometime for her to open her eyes. I can't wait until Buffy's eyes are opened to the truth that Spike is not your ordinary vampire.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Thank you for taking the time to tell me so.

09/24/2007 08:31 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
LMAO at what Angel said. What a big ass baby. Like Buffy's mood swings are from pregnancy, she wants her William back, and to thick skulled to see that Spike is William.

Now onto Buffy. Stupid, stupid girl. I want to beat her with my stupid stick then lock her in a padded room with Spike. God, what a brainwashed isiot. I really think her hair dye had seeped into her brain. If she could just get over the whole Council teaching of things she's see William is still there waiting for her love. DUMB *itch!

At leat Dawn is the only one who actually doesn't have her head stuck up her butt and did some research. She placed the dress. Now for someone as smart as Giles why hasn't he put two and two together on the dress at least? Hello, you don't have to be a genius to know that if a woman was in a hell deminson she wouldn't have beautiful gowns from the 1880's. Their all a bunch of pricks.

UB I can tell your going to drag us through the mud. That's okay, I have a big kiss for ya! Can't wait for more.
Drag you through the mud? Now, do you think I'm as mean as all that? lol. Okay, yeah. Maybe I am. Thanks for the review!

09/24/2007 05:16 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
bwahahaha...
I'll admit, I had to google PPD, but it was well worth the two seconds of effort.
What a great line!

The story keeps getting better and better. Can't wait for more!
Thank you so much! My new chapter is (finally) finished and with my beta, so an update should be along very shortly.

09/24/2007 04:47 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
Ohhhhh, more twists! I love it. I adore your story, but you know that. Poor Spike, hated by the one he loves most in the world. There's barely any pain greater than that. And stubborn Buffy, stubborn and unforgiving. Seems like it will take quite a bit to make her see. Can't wait to see how you develop this story further.
Yep, it's a long and winding road all right. Thanks for the review!

09/24/2007 01:46 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
Proud of Dawn for her investigative skills and Angel... jealous... good!
Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it.

kim
09/24/2007 12:20 am
Chapter Forty-Six         
PPD?

OMG, I love this chapter!!! Go Dawn, go Dawn, go go go, Dawn.....

poor Spike...

Ah, poor Angel...time to remember she's in your past Angel, and leave the anger behind.
You probably already know this since it's take me so long to respond, but a PPD is a skin test they use to check for tuberculosis. Thanks for the review.

09/23/2007 11:56 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
ahh squee! hugs computer awkwardly. i love this story sooo much!!

that would be such an awesome direction to take the story...to see spike's reaction to that kind of thing.

sorry lol.
Don't be sorry. I love marked enthusiasm. Thanks for the review.

09/23/2007 11:43 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
I don't know what a PPD is, but I must admit that the need for a home pregnancy test crossed my mind when she first made love with William.

I love that Dawn is the one intent on unravelling the story - the one who's going to make everyone face what happened.
A PPD is a skin test they use to check for tuberculosis. Thanks so much for the review.

09/23/2007 11:42 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
A stunning chapter -- for so little action, it was an emotional roller coaster.
Thank you so much. How kind of you to say.

Grave Tidings
09/23/2007 11:07 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
OMG, I'd forgotten about the sex. ::evil laugh:: Bless Dawn for figuring it out, and bless Spike for being all mopey and pfft! to Buffy for being all Slayery. Just TALK TO HIM! Of course she won't. Not until she's forced to. Lovely long/beautiful chapter. Thank you so much for updating so quickly
Now, how can you ever forget about sex? lol. I've kind of dropped the ball on my quick updates lately, but I just finished chapter 47, so it shouldn't be too much longer. I hope you like it when it comes, and thanks so much for taking the time to review.

09/23/2007 09:55 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Oooooooooooooooooo A BABY??? I'd dearly love that to be the case! Spike is made to be a daddy IMHO. Sighs happily at just the thought.

Now on to other thoughts, not as happy (just as you intended you minx). Buffy has her head so firmly up her arse she will need a colonoscopy done for anyone to see her face. Angel IS an arse, that useless soul of his needs to nag him to be honest with the woman he CLAIMS to love and tell her the truth.

YAY Dawn (the real heroine of the story so far) for not just letting things slide downhill.

Lovely angst with hope still there. LOVE this story and the way you tell it, hon. Cream of the crop.

Kathleen
Thank you so much!

Miss. Onyx
09/23/2007 08:15 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Damn....
I ache for Spike. I want to shake some sense into Buffy. I want to give Dawn a high five, and I want to slap Willow like a 2 dollah ho!
oh, and...Do I sense some foreshadowing??? ~_^
ROFL - 2 dollah ho? Is it wrong that I plan to use that in a sentence today if it kills me? Thanks for the review!

09/23/2007 07:23 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Love our little Dawn, nothing gets past her for long, wished her sister would see the light of day and soon for poor Spike's sake. Yes! I love you, you know. I hope this might change things a little for her, once she realizes about what Spikes been doing since she's been gone. Loved how you showed just how worried about finances the wicca's were as they ate their breakfast. Thanks for making Angel's visit short, he's rarely welcomed here. So much for Buffy to learn about Spike and why he did the things he did back then, all because of her. Fantastic update, thanks UB, waiting for more.
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know. I know I've left everyone hanging for a new update, but I just wanted to let you know that the new chapter is finished. As soon as I get it back from my beta and edit it, I'll have it posted. Sorry for the delay.

Carryline
09/23/2007 07:07 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
I knew it, I knew it! Please update soon.
The new chapter is at my beta's now. I'm so sorry for the delay! Thanks for the review.

09/23/2007 06:55 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Great Dawn scene - like the way she figures everything out and confronts Buffy. What's a PPD?
Jeez, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've been awful about answering reviews lately. I'm sure you know by now anyway, but in case you don't, a PPD is a skin test they use to check for tuberculosis. Thanks for the review.

09/23/2007 06:55 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
(looks around- PPD?) Did Angel as for the home pregnancy test cause she was with William, or cause of the severe mood swings? Can't wait to see where that goes...ahem.

Really loving Dawn in this fic. This doesn't happen often, btw- loving Dawn. Strong beginning as well- my heart raced along with hers
Angel mentioned the home pregnancy test because he knew Buffy had slept with William back in 1880. Thanks for the review!

09/23/2007 06:54 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Thanks so much for the update! I've been checking all weekend for it. I'm just loving what your doing with Dawn. My favorite bit was, well actually I have two, the first...

*Dawn shook her head and snorted. “Then, I guess that makes you the stupid one, Buffy.”* Ha! Sometimes Buffy could be so smug, and I really hated that about her. I'm glad Dawn said that to her because Buffy's way of thinking is not always the truth of the matter.

And then there is the last line...

*“You want my advice?” he demanded. “Here it is: get her a PPD and a home pregnancy test.”*

LOL I was wondering if you were going to take it here. Whether you make this a fact or not..well I'll be chewing the nails in anticipation for the reveal. I'm kind of hoping yes, what a gift for Spike. Either way keep the good vibes flowing darlin' your doing a fab job!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I'm really sorry it took me so long to respond to your review. I'm also sorry it's taking me so long to post an update. Thankfully, Chapter 47 is now at my beta's.

Veronica
09/23/2007 06:38 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Wow... I had no idea that Angel would get THAT jealous. Serves him right though! I didn't even think about the possibility of pregnancy... maybe the hormones will make Buffy stop being stupid. Wonderful chapter, thank you!!
I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you for reviewing.

Chani
09/23/2007 06:25 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Hey Angel isn't that dumb at the end of the day.

Pregnancy test !!!!!!!

I can't wait for the next chapter.

No, whatever else he may be, Angel isn't stupid. Thanks for the review.

09/23/2007 05:30 pm
Chapter Forty-Six         
Oh, what a place to leave it!!! You cruel, cruel person! ARGH! Ok, now that I'm done yelling, let me say I love your Dawn. She was one of my favorite characters in the show, and I loved the relationship b/n Spike & Dawn, and was so sad that the writers just abandoned it; so I love the way you're handling both the Dawn/Buffy and the Dawn/Spike dynamic. Can't wait for your next update!
lol. I'm evil, I know. And the fact that I hit a writing slump after this chapter and left you guys waiting so long makes me even more evil. But the new chapter is finished and at my beta's now, so hopefully it won't be much longer. I'm sorry for the delay. Thanks for taking the time to leave a review.

10/25/2007 01:52 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
God bless the smart girl with the shiny hair. Now that's she helped Spike, I hope she goes and helps Buffy in the same way. I also hope Angel trips on a stake on the way home, but if wishes were fishes, James Marsters and I would be living at the bottom of the ocean. Another excellent chapter. I cried, if it makes you happy to know that sort of thing.
ROFL - you and James under the sea. Sounds kinky. And naughty you for having murderous thoughts about Angel. He has his good points, too. He ... uh ... well, sometimes he ... um ... Hang on, I know I'll find something ... (j/k)

09/23/2007 06:58 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
Don't know how I missed this update. Buffy's still so black and white about everything. Can't wait to read the next chapter. I hate that Spike's still in so much pain. I'm hoping that Buffy's only lashing out because she's hurt and confused as well. Yeah, we all wished Angel hadn't come back to SunnyD.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review.

09/18/2007 03:10 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
“No, I’ve been cast in an off-Broadway version of Les Misérables. I play Jean Valjean. I’ll be in drag, but it’s a big break for me.”
I freaking love your Dawn.

“'You can convince yourself that you’re the same person as him; you can tell yourself that all you want. It doesn’t make it true.'" In typical Buffy fashion, she attempts to make a distinction between the human and the vampire. She always thought that Angel was completely separate from Angelus. She's trying to do the same with William/Spike, and she's failing. In typical Spike fashion, he sees right through her smokescreen: "'...you know it’s the truth and that I’m the same man I was, just with a hundred years and a thousand dead men at my back. You know you still love me, and it scares the hell out of you!'" Buffy seems to know that William is close to Spike's surface, but she's afraid to admit it. But I'm not holding my breath until she does: that girl has an iron-clad stubborn streak
lol. I'm glad you like Dawn. I'm having a great time writing her. As for Spike and Buffy ... he's perceptive to a fault and she's stubborn as a mule, so not holding your breath is definitely a good idea. Thanks so much for the review. You know how much your opinion means to me.

SpikeskatMac
09/17/2007 03:13 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
My God, you take my breath away. This is an amazing story; please, PLEASE update soon, I can't wait to see what's going to happen. I love the way you've had canon suit your story so beautifully, and, to my amazement, I absolutely love your William. Usually I can't stand Will; both in Fandom and the Buffyverse, but you've made him sensitive without being a wimp; you made him a human being with all the foibles and strengths humans have, not a joke, or something for Spike to overcome. My hat is off to you, and I stand in awe. You have created a 'verse that is both beautiful, touching and brave. Bravo.
:::falls on the floor from joy at the nice review::: Why thank you very much for saying that! I cannot tell you how flattering it is to know that you think so highly of my writing. This story is my "baby" so I delight in people cooing over it and telling me it's pretty. My new chapter is at the beta's now, so it shouldn't be long at all before an update. I hope you enjoy it when it comes.

09/15/2007 06:32 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
Absolutely wonderful chapter with a sad, however beautiful and touching ending. I loved it. I hope you'll write more soon.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

09/14/2007 08:37 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
Ah! I love it all! Dawn's great, and I hope Angel does something helpful for once, instead of screwing things up further. He's got the story, but I bet he won't tell. Great chapter!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I appreciate your taking the time to review again.

09/13/2007 05:34 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
I just so wanted to bitchslap her right now. TALK TO THE MAN... She can't imagine what he has gone through since her disappearance. But I am so happy for his sake that he has Dawn. She may be a teenager, but she is wise beyond her years. She picked up things quick and new that there was something that has changed between Buffy and Spike. And really can we stake Angel already. He just so gets on my nerves.
lol. I swear, every one of my reviewers seems to be whittling stakes this week. Angel better head his arse back to L.A. pretty quickly, or he's going to have an angry reader putting a redwood through his chest. Thanks for the review!

Serenity
09/13/2007 03:12 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
Oh Wow! My eyes actually started misting there towards the end. Poor Spike! I'm glad that he at least has Dawn's friendship through this whole mess. Buffy, as usual, is being a total bitch and refuses to look past the obvious "vampire" defense. As for Angel, can you just dust him, please? He just plain annoys me. Great chapter, by the way!
Sorry, but I can't dust Angel. However, I can tell you that there is a line of readers forming that all have the same request you do. So, you're definitely not alone in your hatred of him, lol. Thanks for the review!

Miss. Onyx
09/13/2007 12:33 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
Absolutely fantastic. I almost feel like crying with Spike......but I'm far too hard core for that! great work, I can't wait for more.
Hard core, huh? I think I see a tear glinting in those jaded eyes of yours. Don't try to hide it.

Thanks for the review!

Shanna
09/12/2007 05:04 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
It's a good thing that I'm allergic to alcohol because I would be so tempted to dive into a CASE of vodka after this last chapter!! Talk about angst!! Argh to Buffy, woo hoo for Dawn and an aginized sob for Spike/William. Here's hoping that Angel can put his stubbornness, his pride aside and tell Buffy about William's attachment to his Elizabeth after the turning. Too much to wish for?????
Oh, God. You mean I've almost driven you to drink with my angsty story? Poor Shanna! ::hugs:: I can't tell you where the plot is going, but just let me quote Shakespeare for a moment: "The course of true love never did run smooth". I promise, this story is a romance; and nothing is too much to wish for in a romance.

Amber
09/12/2007 04:26 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
Wow, this story is Amazing!!!!! I LOVE it!!!!! This is definitely THE BEST time travel Spuffy story I've ever read!!!! It's Awesome!!!!! You nail ALL of the characters, especially Buffy and Spike!!!!! Along with their very complicated relationship!!!! Buffy and human William were written Beautifully too!!!! Your an Awesome writer, I feel like I'm watching Buffy on TV!!!! Keep up the Awesome work, and again Awesome story and job so far!!!! And PPMS, ASAP!!!! I Can't Wait to read more, and find out what happens next!!!!!!
Take Care,
Amber
:::picks herself up off the floor:::

Sorry, I just fainted from happiness at your review. I cannot tell you how flattered I am to know that you think so highly of my story. I really, really appreciate your taking the time to tell me so. Thank you!

Chani
09/12/2007 04:08 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
Wonderful chapter! It hurt me but it was such a delicious pain.

Your Dawn rocks!
I'm having a lot of fun writing Dawn, so it's nice knowing that you're enjoying reading about her. Thank you for taking the time to tell me so!

09/12/2007 02:50 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
I like the new, more adult version of Dawn. Buffy right this moment I could do without. And don't even get me started about Broody Boy and his pet soul.
I think everyone is giving Buffy some heat right now because of her behavior. And Angel ... well, poor Angel never fairs well, does he? Thanks so much for the review!

09/12/2007 07:54 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
fantastic read. thank you. we have 'everything must be black and white' buffy; angel pretending not to be angelus; spike wallowing (he does not brood and dawn being at her best.
Oh, no. You're right about that. Spike never broods. He becomes manfully, sexily pensive.

Thanks so much for the review!

09/12/2007 04:13 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
OMG, you almost made me cry at the end. Bad you, but also good too, lol.

This chapter was really good. It made me want to slap the sh*t out of Buffy for being a thick skulled idiot! God, i hope she comes to her sense soon and sees that Spike and William are one in the same. I want to know how the misunderstanding with his mother gets cleared up too!
lol. I'm not sure whether to feel guilty that I almost made you cry (I don't want you to be sad!) or happy because you're that emotionally invested in the story. So, I'm going to compromise. I'm going to pat you on the back and send you a box of virtual tissues, while at the same smiling with secret, slightly evil, satisfaction. Thanks for the review!

09/12/2007 03:49 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
Just when I thought I've bled all I can for these two, (especially Spike) you open the flood gates again. Straight away with the first sentences you had my heart in my throat. I'm all for the angst, and damn girl you know how to write it well.

I'm not surprised with how Buffy reacted at all. It's so like her to say that he couldn't be a man, that he could no longer be William but be only a monster. What a resounding truth when Spike said that she still loved him, but she is scared to hell of the fact. It was as much the truth on the show as in your story.

So at first I thought my favorite part was going to be from the first few paragraphs, but then I read this....

*“So…I guess you’re in school now, huh?” he asked, making an effort to sound friendly.

She didn’t even bother to hide her scorn. “No, I’ve been cast in an off-Broadway version of Les Misérables. I play Jean Valjean. I’ll be in drag, but it’s a big break for me.”*

LMAO!!! It's been days, maybe even a week since I've laughed so hard. What a brilliantly funny thing for Dawn to say. Angel's reaction was so dead on. I can just see his clueless expression. )

Then the Spike/Angel confrontation in the street. So like those two. Always trying to stick it to each other.

And then Dawn and Spike. I love so much how she is there for him. She's the rock that he desperately needs. If not for the Jean Valjean line, this would have been my favorite part.
Dawn is so much fun to write, because she's smart and she has just the right combination of wit and sarcasm. I hated when they turned her into a selfish whiner during season six. I also hated when the writers abandoned her friendship with Spike. Those two were just wonderful together. I'm glad to hear I'm doing them justice. Thank you.

09/12/2007 03:43 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
Aww...that's so sweet- the hugging and the crying. Not Buffy and Angel, of course. Poor Spike- it just breaks my heart... And go Dawn! That made me like her again
Glad to hear that you like Dawn. I've always thought she was ill used on the show. Thanks for the review.

09/12/2007 03:23 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
Whew that was awesome - Buffy is never so boneheaded and when she thinks she's right. That was heartrending.
Thank you so much!

09/12/2007 03:16 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
The long-awaited confrontation between Spike and Buffy went nothing like I thought it would. I was hoping for fluffy "I'm sorrys" - silly me. But I love the angst, and I trust it will eventually lead to Spike knowing that Buffy really did love Wiliam all those years ago.
I wish there could have been apologies and declarations of mutual love, but the characters are writing the story for me at this point, and they'll do what they'll do. I'm glad you like the story anyway. Thanks so much for taking the time to review it.

09/12/2007 12:41 am
Chapter Forty-Five         
Incredibly well written and completely heartbreaking. I can't help comparing impressive Dawn and breathtakingly cruel Buffy. At least Angel acknowledged a twinge. Can't wait for more.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you noticed the small twinge of compassion in Angel. He's no longer evil, and I didn't want to portray him as such. But he and Spike have so much animosity between them at this point, that he will get his digs in (as will Spike). Thank you for the review.

daniel_nieves
09/11/2007 10:04 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
wow, i almost cried reading this. I kinda hope Buffy dies for the things she said to Spike. Or at least a good ass kicking...
I hate to say that you almost cried, because it sounds mean of me to want to upset you. But it's so nice knowingt that something I wrote could affect you that much. Thank you for the review.

09/11/2007 09:30 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
GOD what a heartbreak! I so want to pummel Buffy. Yeah, I know all she's been taught and told but for the love of God she has EYES, a mind! Some part of the bitch has to know that is William!

Angel needs to have his liver removed, preferable through his nose. The beast, the bastard! He SAW William, he knows! If he had any real love for Buffy he'd head across town and tell her the truth and let the chips fall where they may. He should tell her about William and even if he didn't paint himself as black as he was he could clue her in that her William is there under all the bodies.

Part of me just wants Spike to leave the bitch for a while until SHE has to come looking for him when she wises up finally.

LOVE, LOVE Dawn. So glad she is there for him because he is gutted between Buffy and Angel.

I am crying here. Yet another perfect chapter. This just never fails to be exactly in character and heart wrenching stuff. Wonderful.

Kathleen
Wow, so much anger, Kathleen! I just hope when you remove Angel's liver you won't eat it with fava beans and a fine Chianti. Thanks so much for the review!

IT
09/11/2007 08:38 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
I love this story! Keep it coming.
I certainly will. Thank you!

Kawaki
09/11/2007 07:42 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
Poor Spike. Buffy makes me sick.
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. But I hope very much that you will continue to read the story. Thank you for your review.

kim
09/11/2007 07:27 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
Oh, poor Spike! Buffy is a cruel, vicious idiot. Thank you, Dawn, thank you, thank you.

Um, why is Angel walking when he owns a car?

Ahhh...Angel and Spike did what they do best....fell into old habits even though Angel could have helped right there. But they aren't the season 5 guys, yet, so.....a lot of blood under that bridge. Now that Angel knows, though...what will he say to Buffy (if anything)?

I can't believe she immediately pulled out the Anne card!!! Geeze! And that "different person" line is such a load of crap, since you'd have to wipe the brain and start over for that to be true! Such an ignorant fool....we're the sum of our memories, you moron....you can't canonize William to push off your own guilt.

At least Dawnie loves him....so, so many years of pain....I foresee we're getting a lot more angst from you for a while!
Thanks so much for the review.

Angi
09/11/2007 06:40 pm
Chapter Forty-Five         
How much pain can one express with 4697 words? Well, I know now. The lines should be blurry and twisting for all the agony in there. Brilliant work, but sooo hard to read. I´m hanging onto your every word, go on soon, please.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story even when it's painful to read. I hope you'll continue reading (and reviewing!) in the future.

10/25/2007 01:44 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Oh, but I hate that Angel like it's nobody's business. I also hate not having internet for two months and being denied this story! When it's finished, I'm printing it out and putting the Stephen T. Colbert Award for the Literary Excellence on it. Yes, I have become a Report fan in the two months since I lost internet and got cable. Back to our regularly scheduled UB programming!!
No greater honor can be bestowed than that, Lindsay. I am truly flattered. And I knew you'd become a Colbert fan -- you'll end up lusting after him yet. It's inevitable. lol. Thanks for the review!

09/08/2007 11:55 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
Yay I'm all caught up!!

Okay, don't know who I feel for more Spike or Buffy...I just want to hug them both better...and while I'm at it can I hit Willow and Angel? Grrr!

Fabulous job, as always, my dear!
Glad to hear you've caught up. I hope this means your computer problems are at an end. Thanks for the review!

BT_
09/02/2007 07:18 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
OH - you know how to wring us out so well.
I'm a bit confused about Buffy's "It was terrible" but I'm thinking it was about being taken away, not the stay there.
You're writing her confusion very well.
You're right, she was referring to the return to the future rather than the time she spent in the past. Angel, of course, doesn't know this. Thanks so much for the review.

09/02/2007 06:43 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
angel and angelus are nearly the same. the difference being angel is a phony. angelus is angelus, but so is angel. very good read, thank you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I always appreciate hearing your thoughts.

Cas
09/01/2007 05:30 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Insightful take on their attitudes, we're so used to casting Spike as hero (and part William) that I didn't even consider that Buffy might not see him that way. Also really like the way you portayed Angel - that brief hesitation, and then the smile.
Thank you so much!

Miss. Onyx
08/31/2007 10:22 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
Wow, this is getting intense yet again! I can't wait for more!
Intense is my middle name. Well, not really. But how cool would it be if it was? Thanks for the review!

08/31/2007 10:06 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
nooooooooo! ub, nooooooo! damn angel, that soul dosen't help him on bit. and buffy's so brain washed, why can't see she that angel is angelus? god, more drama to come, yeah? can't wait. man, poor spike. i need to know what he's going to do next.
Poor GB. Sorry to upset you. I can't promise that there won't be more angst in the future, so just let me give you a :::hug::: for now. Thanks for the review.

bunnyluv_pet
08/31/2007 07:19 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
Agh! Wonderful, I have been reading for a while and finally caught up! You have me hooked, I've been sucked in. I hope you are still updating as I can't wait for more.

I am definitely still updating, and I will continue to update until the story is finished. I hope you enjoy it right to the end. Thanks so much for the review.

08/31/2007 05:17 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
update soon!!!!
Wish granted.

08/31/2007 04:50 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
Ah, your killing me here. So evil to leave it there. But makes for a good cliffhanger. My heart is just breaking for both of them. I love the fact that Buffy will never remove the bracelet. I just hope that she realizes that William still exists inside of Spike. Though I'm sure it will be awhile before the blinders come off. OH, Angel, Angel, *sigh* I just knew this would be how it would play out. But I love the angst. I love a story that captures all elements of a great story. Yours has it in spades.
Thank you so much. You're one of my favorite reviewers, so it's great to know you're still enjoying the story.

08/31/2007 03:28 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
Wow, what a great chapter! On the one hand, I didn't expect Buffy to just throw herself at Spike (that would be too easy), but on the other hand, I certainly didn't expect her to think of Spike as someone who was now taken over William's body! I hope Dawn figures out first where Buffy's been, assuming that Buffy doesn't tell anyone but Angel. And Angel is perfect. Sweet, but just a bit creepy. I can't wait for the next chapter. Do you know if part 3 is going to be closer in length to part 1 or 2?
So far, I think that Part III will run about 25 chapters. But it's so hard to tell. I'm writing by the seat of my pants, and I thought that Part II would be that long as well, and it turned out quite a bit shorter. Thank you so much for the review.

08/31/2007 03:04 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
Willow and Tara are not looking out for anyone but themselves. Well mainly Willow. And Angel knows exactly what is happening. Come on Buffy. Pick up on a few things and put everyone in their place... I can't imagine what Spike is feeling right now. Just an awesome chapter.
Thank you so much.

08/31/2007 12:13 pm
Chapter Forty-Four         
Talk about tearing at my heartstrings!! This is agony for both Buffy and Spike. I'm just hoping she feels better after a good cry and tries to get her head straight. Thank god Dawn's actually talking sense for once! But poor Spike seeing her like that with Angel!! I absolutely can't wait for more!
Thank you! I'm glad you're still enjoying it.

ElyseNotElsie
08/31/2007 06:11 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
AWESOME! I love it when you update!
I'm so flattered that you feel that way. Thank you!

08/31/2007 05:23 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
I really liked Buffy being disappointed that she hadn't affected William enough to change the future. I'm sure coming back and seeing that Spike was still the same as when she left would make her question how much William had loved her. I do think she's being dumb, though, in separating William and Spike. I thought she spent enough time with William to see how similar they really are.

It's been so long since I read the beginning, I forgot that Buffy met Angelus in the past! I'm sure that makes this little reunion awkward for Buffy, even if she doesn't admit it.

I'm also curious about what's behind that smile of Angel's. I guess it's obvious from Spike's face that he loves Buffy and is jealous of Angel... but I can't imagine that Angel knows much about what's been going on for Spike in Sunnydale. I kept waiting for Angel to be able to smell William on Buffy... I guess the scent has faded. Wouldn't *that* have been a revelation?
Buffy took a bath the night before, remember? Therefore, no William scent. But you're right, if she hadn't ... whew, boy, would all hell have broken loose. lol. Thanks for the review.

kim
08/31/2007 05:19 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Angelllllllllll...don't you dare be cruel now.

Stupid Buffy - she knows it's now true that Spike is only a monster....

Poor Spike.....Poor Spike

At least she gave Willow a hint of doing something wrong...

This chapter was an ouch.
Sorry I gave you a heart boo-boo. I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story in spite of the angst. Thanks for reviewing.

Dee
08/31/2007 03:54 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Oh Damn! After that last chapter I absolutely cannot wait for the next one. I usually review you at spuffy realm but stopped in here tonight and saw an update. Love this story!

Dee
I'm so glad you do. And anywhere you take the time to review is just great. Thank you!

08/31/2007 03:49 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Dawn must be the only semi-intelligent person in Sunnydale. Loved the Spike obssession.
lol. That's probably one more person than they had on the show. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reviewing!

08/31/2007 03:25 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Ooh, the poof is a Devil! I hope Spike gives him the boot in a majorly painful way.
lol. Well, we'll just have to wait and see about that. Thanks for the review.

08/31/2007 03:08 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
I hope she makes herself clear, I hate for Spike to be hurt anymore then he's going to be, he's doing a great job all by himself. Spike needs to talk to her but that's not going to happen with Angel there. Thank you so much for addressing the matter of Willow and Tara, never paying for anything, while they lived there. Another great chapter UB.
Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

08/31/2007 02:43 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Angel. was. and. always. will. be. a. bastard. This is why I cannot read Angel fic. What you've written is what I see when I look at him. Hero of the night, bah.

And poor Spike/William. ::sob:: This is hell and marvelous pain/hopeful at the same time. Please keep it up. If that blasted vampire hadn't delayed him....

Gawd, but I despise Angel. (apologies to all the A. fans out there.)
I'm glad you're enjoying it even when it's painful. Thank you so much for the review!

08/31/2007 02:38 am
Chapter Forty-Four         
Okay, I surmise that this can go two ways...and neither look too good for Spike. I just hope Buffy remembers that he loved her before her time travel routine *sigh*

And wait...I'm guessing Angel doesn't know she spent all that time with Wiliam then, right?
Nope. So far, Angel has no idea. Thanks for the review.

Alexandra
08/28/2007 03:53 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
Amazing! You're writing is absolutely amazing. Poor Spike. And I can't help but wonder what Buffy is feeling, I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. I've been reading this story for a while and realized that I haven't reviewed. So it is about time I told you how beautiful this story is. Buffy-time-travel stories have been done before but this is the best one I have ever read. I loved how in the second part you concentrated on Spike and his journey, compared to other author who just skip forward to the reunion. Again, I LOVE this story and can't wait for more!
Thank you so much! I'm extremely flattered to hear that you're enjoying my story that much. I really appreciate your taking the time to tell me so.

ghost writer
08/27/2007 05:28 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
Willow's kind of single-minded about the hell-dimension theory, doesn't she?
Well, if Buffy's been in a hell dimension and Willow got it out ... that makes Willow a hero.

08/27/2007 12:47 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
fine read, thank you. spike and dawn sparkle. maybe dawn can deflect most of the mess angel will cause.
I *love* the relationship that Spike and Dawn had in season 5 and early season 6. It still makes me angry to think about how the writers just dropped that storyline because they thought it looked "inappropriate" for JM and MT to have scenes alone together, because of their age differences. I definitely want to explore their friendship in this. Thanks for letting me know I'm doing a good job so far.

08/26/2007 07:35 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
I had a few chapters to catch up on and I have to tell that I read them with bated breath. Please, update soon, because leaving us like that would be too cruel!
Thanks so much for catching up, and for letting me know you're still enjoying the story.

08/26/2007 03:38 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
Wonderful chapter. You just keep adding layers to this story, and it just gets more and more intriguing. And I love the way you're portraying all of the characters. You've caught the nuances of the individual personalities so well - the good the not so good aspects of each of them. You're keeping them true to themselves. I love it when an author doesn't resort to character bashing. It mekes for a much more believable fic. And this fic feels like canon. Can't wait to read more.
Thank you so much! One thing I dislike in a story is character bashing. None of the characters on BtVS were perfect, and they all had some very low moments where they did very bad things. I'm trying to walk that fine line between showing their flaws and maintaining their positive qualities. It's good to know I'm succeeding so far.

fanxstitch
08/25/2007 10:52 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
Your story continues to be wonderful. I'm just catching up after being in Wales for 6 weeks. Love what you have done with Spike's backstory and with Buffy's return. Look forward to more.
That's great to know you're catching up and that you're still enjoying it. Thanks for taking the time to tell me so.

08/24/2007 11:33 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
You did it again UB! Such a beautiful chapter. The flashback dream was wonderful. I know its been done a hundred times and in different ways.. but please let your muse be merciful to our William..it would be so beautiful if Buffy is..expecting.

* He felt a fierce sense of possession as he emptied himself into her, filling her body with the very essence of his life.* **Squeeee** So excited with the posibility.

Again, love Spike and Dawn. She is just so smart. Now if only the other idiot's would catch on. I hope you post soon I'm so excited for the Spike/Buffy/Angel confrontation. Please let Buffy still be wearing Cologne de Spike.
lol. I'm afraid to say too much in response to your review for fear of giving something away. So, I'll just tell you that I greatly appreciate your taking the time to leave me feedback. As always, thank you!

Shanna
08/24/2007 05:42 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
Beautiful chapter....from the memory/dream to Dawn's loving care. The only down...Angel.

Can't wait to see how this wonderful story plays out.

As alwaya, thanks for a great read.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

08/24/2007 04:33 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
Ugh, and in come Captain Forehead, lol. Oh, well, I guess he has to come and start trouble. I wonder if he'll smell Spike on her? oh, oh, oh, I can't wait to find out.

And when will Buffy get off her butt and go to Spike? i hate when she acts like this. Dude, Spike there with her now. Go to him idiot! lol

He shook his head. “After. Drugstore now. I’ve got a bit of cash in my left front pocket; you can get it out if you promise to steer clear of the knackers.”

She laughed. “Pedo.”


That tickled me to no end. Listed me up too! Can't wait for more.
I'm so happy I could brighten your day. Thank you very much for taking the time to review!

08/24/2007 03:58 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
“I think hell dimensions must be handing out some really nice clothes these days.” - LOL - is Dawn the only one who isn't a complete idiot. Hot dream.
Someone has to have a grain of sense in that house, don't they? lol. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks so much for taking the time to review it.

08/24/2007 12:14 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
Please keep going!!
Don't worry. I will!

08/23/2007 11:46 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
Wow! You were busy while I was gone. Nice job of bringing it into the "present". Angel should throw a real wrench into the already messed up works. Can't wait to see where you're going to go from here. Love your Dawn.
Yep, I've been a busy little bee. I just hope I can keep it up! I'm glad you liked the new chapters. Welcome home and thanks for reviewing.

08/23/2007 10:53 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
I just hope that Spike and Buffy can get it together and at least see each other before Angel shows up. And how dare the scooby's again try to make decisions for her. And I am so glad that Dawn is there to be a buffer between Spike and Buffy without even knowing it.
The Scoobies are such an interfering lot, aren't they? lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for taking the time to tell me so!

charmingkarla
08/23/2007 09:39 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
YAY!!!!! OMFG!!!!
When are you gonna post more? soon I hope because this is getting soooooooooooooo good ....OMG, continue please sweetie.
hugs

Karla
Aw, thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. I shouldn't be too long in finishing the new chapter. I hope you enjoy it when it comes.

08/23/2007 09:02 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
*groans* We know how Angel's return is going to help...NOT!

Loved Williams memory of of their last night together and how you've set up the possibility of her being pregnant, which you know, I've been hoping for from the beginning.

I wonder if Joss had any idea, how he's portrayal of Dawn, would contribute so much to Spuffy fanfiction. Between Joyce and Dawn, Buffy and Spike wouldn't have been able to cross the bridges they have. A fantastic chapter, UB, I can't wait for more.
Poor Angel. He ain't getting no love from any of my readers. lol. Thanks for the review. It's great to know that you're still enjoying the story.

08/23/2007 08:37 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
AAAAAAGH! 'nuther cliffhanger. ::whimper:: I love your voice for Spike. He's so snarky and miserable and in character and... and... you made me ache for him. I'm holding my breath for when they meet again. But I want to smack interferring Willow and... wanna just put Spike and the Bit and Buffy on an island and let them work it out. Lovely writing as ever, on so many levels.
Thank you so very much for the kind review. I hope you continue to enjoy future chapters as much.

08/23/2007 07:25 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
I love that Spike is being given a smidgen of hope but is Angel going to dash water in his face? Definitely awaiting next chapter!
I'm glad that you are. Thank you!

Miss. Onyx
08/23/2007 06:33 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
Wow!......I loved the Spike and Dawn scene. It was, I dunno maybe "Softly Powerful?" is a good term. There was a lot of feeling there.

LOL, i liked the "Damn, damn, double damn" thing....it makes Angel really sound like a rickety old man!

Fantastic Chapter. I can't wait for more!
"Softly powerful" is a very flattering way to describe it. Thank you!

08/23/2007 05:14 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
The more I see Willow and Xander, the more I understand why Dawn was "the bratty kid sisterTM" for so long. It was so nobody could see just how controlling and arrogant the Scoobies were.
I vastly prefer your perceptive Dawn, unswayed by the Scooby version of democracy in action. "We think it's in your best interest, and there's more of us, so *you* don't get a vote."
I'm glad you like my portrayal of Dawn. She was so underused in the series, and I thought she really started out well. I mean, she was a brat, obviously; but she was also young. And I thought she matured nicely during the course of season five. Unfortunately, she seemed to seriously regress come season six. Then again ... everyone regressed in season six. Thanks so much for your review. I really appreciate it.

08/23/2007 01:17 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
More of this fabulous tale - it just gets better and better. Terrific writing. Who'd have thought Xander knew what caveat emptor was!!!
lol. Probably he didn't in the series, but I just couldn't resist adding that line. Thank you so much for your review. I'm glad you're still enjoying the story.

kim
08/23/2007 12:50 pm
Chapter Forty-Three         
She wasn't in a hell dimension, stupid Willow!!!!! Can I just kill her please?

YAY Dawn's a smart cookie. She's already figuring everything out, and the last thing she said has GOT to spark a tiny bit of hope in Spike that it was real. He wants it to be, of course, but he's come to expect too much pain in his life. But Dawn said too much about Buffy now to let him keep hiding behind the "it was just a game to her" line. I'd been hoping she or Buffy would be the one to help him with his hands.

Hmmm, if Buffy hasn't showered, yet, she's going to have a bit of William lingering on her....potentially. Something for Angel to notice when he comes? I do hope you'll be fair to Angel, as you were with Angelus. He can be a dope, but he tries. Never was a good fit for Buffy, but a really good one with his team.

I hope this will jumpstart Buffy into saying what she needs to.
Don't worry about Angel. I definitely will *not* be engaging in any character bashing. I agree with you about his being a good-hearted dope. He's selfish; he's immature; and he's full of flaws. But then again, so is Spike. So is everyone on the show, in fact. I promise you I will not write him in any way that isn't in character for him.

Thanks for the review!

Katina
08/23/2007 10:58 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
Gosh, another great chapter. Thanks for continuing to work on the story. Although, I'd almost hate to see it end.
Thank you so much! And don't worry; we have quite a few chapters to go before the ending. I hope you continue to enjoy the tale as it unfolds.

veronica
08/23/2007 07:37 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
oh man... stupid Angel's gonna ruin everything! extraordinary writing as always!
Why thank you. How nice of you to say!

08/23/2007 07:32 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
Thanks for the update - I was really hoping we could avoid Angel, although perhaps he might recall the just turned William and his feelings for Elizabeth. You write a great arrogant Willow - I can almost hear her whiney voice.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it

08/23/2007 06:13 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
wonderful connection with Dawn and Spike - and a wonderful transition from William into Spike and their history with the Spike of now. Greedy little me wants a new chapter asap.

Wonderful story
I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you!

08/23/2007 05:19 am
Chapter Forty-Three         
Caveat emptor, huh? Seems like Xander's been eating Smarties while Buffy was away. And yay! for Dawn. Beautiful love scene. Oh, the foreshadowing at that one point...And oh, poor Spike. "Hope is the thing with feathers" I suppose. Love your Angel. "It. Never. Frigging. Ends." Good job on that, awesome job on the chapter!
lol. Yeah, I considered removing that line on the grounds it might be OOC for Xander. Then I justified it by telling myself he heard it from Anya, who, as a shopkeeper, would probably be familiar with the term "buyer beware". Probably grasping at straws there, but I just did not want to remove that line. Silly, stubborn me! Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you liked the chapter.

08/23/2007 05:02 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
Oh, yeah, because Angel is all about improving Buffy. GRRR. They are so clueless.
That they are. Thanks for the review.

08/21/2007 03:31 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
Okay, so I've got like 20 chapters to catch up on now that you've wrapped up book two. But I couldn't stop myself from peeking ahead. Looking forward to getting read up!
Thanks. I hope you enjoy playing catch up!

Miss. Onyx
08/21/2007 04:40 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
Suuuuure.....Call Angel, that's a GREAT idea. They need lobotomies, the whole lot of them. Awesome chapter though. I can't wait for more!
lol. Thanks.

08/21/2007 03:36 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
Oh, yeah... call Angel. Oh, man, this just gets worse and worse for the two of them (as the story gets better and better). You do know these short chapters are shear torture? Not complaining. And poor Spike's hands... ::sob:: I have more sympathy for him than for her; she really did lead him down the garden path as William. 'You got some 'splainin' to do, Lucy.'
You're certainly right about that, and that is the main reason why Spike reacted the way he did to her return. Finding out that the person he believed to be the love of his life was lying to him - and such a major lie - would have had to be almost unbearable for him. He's feeling confused and betrayed, and those feelings won't just go away overnight. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thank you.

daniel
08/20/2007 09:23 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
great chapter
Thank you!

08/20/2007 09:09 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
"In killing Xin Rong, he lost something…something that had always made him special, something separate from his life as a vampire. The soft spot in his heart—kept deeply and carefully preserved for so long—became as hard and brittle as the rest of him. The slayer killer."

What a place to have arrived at, from The Slayer Killer to be jolted back to William's heart break and his love and loss of Elizabeth -

Your treatment of William/Spike and his clinging and preservation of the articles that connected him to Elizabeth is such a wonderful part of Spike's story - now with the braclet back to bring back his suppressed memories - very nice metaphor of things connected and cycles coming back together -
Thank you so much! You're one of only a handful of people to mention the metaphor behind the bracelet. It's great to know that you think I did a good job in creating it.

08/20/2007 08:49 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
great to have the new chapter - Did William/Spike not remember Elizabeth's face primarily from his emotional trauma over her loss?
That was certainly part of it. He had gone for over 120 years without setting eyes on her, without even a photograph, so I think it's natural for his memories of her features to become somewhat unreliable. But beyond this, he was also trying to forcibly push her away, because thinking of her hurt - especially given that he believed he had become someone she could not love. Thanks for the review!

08/20/2007 06:35 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
Well you can tell your precious Angel he can just keep his wide, spotty arse in LA, cause things are complicated enough as it is!!

Okay, done channeling Spike, now
ROFL - I'll tell him, Scarlet. But you know Angel ... he can be very stubborn.

nikki v.
08/20/2007 04:33 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
i have been waiting for this part. i cant wait to see how it plays out. great writing and a great story!
Thank you!

08/20/2007 04:16 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
ANGEL?! What in the world is WIllow thinking??
Poor Spike. Your description of what he did to his hands hurt to read.
So glad to see updates coming along!
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks so much for taking the time to review.

08/20/2007 12:33 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
Awww... poor, poor Spike. I ache for him, thinking that Buffy was screwing with him to deliberately fuck him up. Considering how Buffy treated him just before she left, I can kind of see where he's coming from. I guess it's easy after 120 years to misremember Buffy's sincerity in her love for him.

*sigh* Oh, dumb Scoobies. Although, I admit, Anya's brain damage obsession had me cracking up. But maybe Willow's the one with brain damage, because I can't imagine how calling Angel will be a good idea. Certainly entertainment for us readers, but for Buffy? Nope, not seeing the good there. But now I'm curious whether Angel will remember William's love for Elizabeth, and put it together with Buffy.
Willow with brain damage? Valid theory! I often thought she must have been dropped on her head as a baby, judging by some of her irrational behavior on the series. Thanks for the review.

08/20/2007 12:32 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
Awww... poor, poor Spike. I ache for him, thinking that Buffy was screwing with him to deliberately fuck him up. Considering how Buffy treated him just before she left, I can kind of see where he's coming from. I guess it's easy after 120 years to misremember Buffy's sincerity in her love for him.

*sigh* Oh, dumb Scoobies. Although, I admit, Anya's brain damage obsession had me cracking up. But maybe Willow's the one with brain damage, because I can't imagine how calling Angel will be a good idea. Certainly entertainment for us readers, but for Buffy? Nope, not seeing the good there. But now I'm curious whether Angel will remember William's love for Elizabeth, and put it together with Buffy.
I think Spike is just confused at the moment, and he isn't sure who he's angry at - himself or Buffy. He's spent a lot of the last century in pain, missing a woman he thought was dead. Now, he's found out that not only is she alive, but that she also spent their entire relationship lying to him. It's a lot for him to deal with all at once. ***cuddles Spike*** Thanks for the review!

08/19/2007 08:04 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
Oh god no! Not Angel! Why Angel?! Because it only makes the story that much better? Really I look forward to the meeting between all of them.

Didn't expect Spikes reaction, but it only makes sense that he would see her actions in that light. I could feel his pain with each blow.

Very well done with Xander, Anya and Willow. Especially the former two. I felt this was a canon scene. Their reactions very much like I would expect. I could see their faces and expressions with every word they uttered. Thank you for doing such a nice job with Dawn. She was very mature. Taking care of the sister that she loves. Only concerned for her welfare.

The part that literally choked me up with unshed tears was..
*The place where, on their last night together, he had gently gnawed at her…kissed her…whispered into her flesh that she was beautiful. When he had seen the mark it left afterward, he had been upset. He was afraid he had hurt her, and it took a lot of reassurance to convince him otherwise. The thought of it made her ache inside.*

I think it was the "whispered into her flesh that she was beautiful" that did it to me. He then and still, loves her so completely, worships her. They are both now in so much pain and confusion. For what was lost, what never could be, not knowing where now to go.

Thankfully your muse does know.
lol. My Muse is a fickle creature, but I do at least have a vague roadmap to somewhere. Hopefully, you and the rest of my readers will enjoy the ride. Thanks for the review!

08/19/2007 06:58 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
God, no - why Angel?? Great chapter and really effective in capturing Spike's wildly swinging emotions. Poor Buffy - so confused; wait until the heartbreak begins. As always, I find Willow and Xander totally obnoxious and irritating - you do them so well! ;o) Great story. THanks!
lmao. Yeah ... that's the reaction I usually have to Xander and Willow, too. I'm glad you think I got it right. Thanks for the review!

08/19/2007 05:59 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
IMHO, this is one of the best fanfic ever! The scene of Spike's angst is especially well written.
Wow, what a wonderful compliment. Thank you!

08/19/2007 05:56 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
I think you did a great job with Spike. Of course he'd feel betrayed above every thing else. Not thinking that she had kept her distance at first, but fell in love with him anyway. Perfect scoobies dialogue, I might add. Calling Angel, will not make for a happy Buffy. I hope Dawn puts her foot down. Can they ever give her a minute to catgh her breath! Giles should have recognized that style of dress right away. It's been bearly a hundred years, since the society of his country's population, wore them. Guess no one else noticed her bracelet. You don't get those in a hell dimension! Thank you so much for the update. You know how much everyone loves this, hope you can update again very soon. Can't wait for them to finally have their talk. Hopefully this time in the tub, will give her the moments she needs, to remeber that she fell in love with him and that William is still is a part of him. William loves her, Spike may not have gone about it the right way but he does still love her. Thanks UB, this is a fantastic fic.
Thank you so much! It's great to know that you're still enjoying the story.

08/19/2007 05:47 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
LOL - any dimension where they wear corsets must be a hell dimension.

Excellent squabbling between the members of the gang. Spike's part is incredible.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

08/19/2007 03:28 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
I was frothing with anger at the Scoobies before I read the last line and then you just had to push me over the edge!!!!! AAAAAAARGHHHH! I'm chewing the furniture.
Of course this is brilliant.
lol. Does it make me evil if I tell you that's the exact reaction I was hoping my readers would have? Thanks for the review!

kim
08/19/2007 02:15 pm
Chapter Forty-Two         
THEY ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!

Of course, they wouldn't think that Buffy might have been HAPPY, and now she's not, instead of the other way around. Stupid, arrogant, blind....And Xander...I want to strangle him.

Oh, Spike....know you're in shock now, but you know it wasn't like that between you....you know she wasn't playing a game. Oh, his poor hands....he's going to need help to set those properly. Poor baby....

I hope Buffy speaks up soon, for the good of everybody. She needs to at least tell the Scoobies that she was in 1880, and with a good nice family, and there was nothing for them to worry about.....so they'll back off. They're stupid assumptions are going to reek hell on earth in SD. How the hell would Angel be a help to her right now, in this situation? That doesn't even make sense, Willow! He hasn't been in Buffy's life for a long time. And does it LOOK like Buffy was in a demon hell like he was? She was in a nice dress! Albeit dirty now from trekking through the woods...

At least Dawn has a brain.
I think they wanted to believe that she had been in a hell dimension - not because they wanted her to suffer, of course, but because it made them heroes. And yep, you're right. Dawn is the only one of them that has an ounce of sense at the moment. Thanks for the review.

veronica
08/19/2007 10:21 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
wow... what a powerful chapter! poor spike... you capture his reaction to Buffy's reappearance (or resurrection, if we're talking canon here) perfectly! I can only hope that those two will be able to have a full out talk about this, and hopefully soon.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

Cas
08/19/2007 08:06 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
Oh, that last line just made me laugh! So helpful Willow!
That's our Willow ... always doing the dumb thing.

08/19/2007 07:29 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
God, no, not Angel. Please, oh please, don't do this to us, lol. Just kidding, I love Angel. Great update. Though I don't understand why they always jump to the idea that she was in some hell like place? She was gone for months, don't you think she would have to readjust to being back in her old life?

Spike's pissed and upset, but he thinks she only made him fall in love with her for the fun of it? Well, Spike doesn't know Buffy as well as he thinks he does. Or is it that he's so upset he can't recall that she really did love him?

I hope everything gets cleared up. But why do I think you'll draw this out? lol Can't wait for more luv!
lol. Poor Angel doesn't get a lot of love, does he? But I'm glad to see that you won't be awaiting his arrival with a freshly hewn wooden stake in your hand. Thanks for the review.

Serenity
08/19/2007 06:47 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
Oh...ick! Call Angel? NOOOO! Ok, anyway, great chappie as usual. I wanted to cry for Spike since he thinks that Buffy was now just lying to him the whole time about her feelings. More, please?
Very, very soon. I promise.

08/19/2007 06:39 am
Chapter Forty-Two         
"She made me into what I am... she made me..." Oh, poor Spike, to think she was playing a game all that time. Very well written as always. Can't wait to see what happens when Angel shows up.
Thank you! And the update draws near ...

08/26/2007 10:05 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
excellent read, thank you. enjoyed spike and dawn even more than i hated xander.
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

08/17/2007 05:57 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
Damn! Not the meeting I was hoping for them, but not surprised. Give Xander thirty seconds and WHAM, Spikes gone. So glad you gave her the bracelet, just to confirm in his mind, that she was the one. His Elizabeth. Looking forward to seeing Xanders face once Buffy sets him straight about Spike. Thanks for posting again so soon, and not making us go through the next three plus years, waiting for her memories to catch up. So excited to see their reunion! Love this UB.
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you!

nmcil
08/17/2007 04:22 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
Excellent finish and start - Very Much am loving your story - will be exciting to see how your times are going to come together -
Thank you!

08/17/2007 11:59 am
Chapter Forty-One         
That is something I have never understood. Buffy has obviously been through this traumatic experience and so the first thing all her so-called friends do is cluster around her and interrogate her. Idiots.
Yes, they are. One of the many reasons I resent them during season six is that they interrupted the spuffy hand-holding in "Afterlife".

Miss. Onyx
08/17/2007 07:06 am
Chapter Forty-One         
aaaahhhhh GHAAAAHHHHHHH ahhhhhh AHHHHHHHHH!......AHH!.....AH....

so......you ARE trying to kill your readers off. That's the point of this little exercise in BRILLIANCE isn't it?! I told myself "ooh I'll just read UB's update, then go to bed."...but who can SLEEP at a time like this!?

......more please! soon! ::gives candies::
Mm. Candy!

08/17/2007 05:36 am
Chapter Forty-One         
Another phenomenal chapter. This just keeps getting better. It seems that Spike isn't taking Buffy's reappearance very well. I guess it's safe to say that he's in shock. And I would imagine that the Scoobies are all going to (each in his or her own way) screw things up between Buffy and Spike. Oh well, at least Dawn will be sympathetic. And you're hitting your poor readers with yet another wicked cliffie. Of course, we don't mind. Just keep 'em coming!
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!

Cas
08/17/2007 04:51 am
Chapter Forty-One         
Heartless. You are heartless. Poor Buffy. Poor Spike.
I am indeed the Dark Master of the Under Realm. Muwahahaha!

08/17/2007 04:15 am
Chapter Forty-One         
I'm surprised by another time jump. Not that I mind. Only got us closer to what we wanted. And now he knows and she knows. Damn scoobies, always interrupting a meaningful moment. Very reminiscent of After Life.

You did an amazing job of capturing the wonderful brother/sister relationship that is Dawn and Spike. Silly but my favorite line from that was ..
*“We’ve got Totino’s pizza rolls.”*
I'd see my way to accepting an invite for Totino's too, yumm.

I look forward to seeing how you write Giles. But more importantly how you interpret the emotional upheaval that both Spike and Buffy find themselves in, and how they deal with it. I'm thrilled with this constant updating, I'm getting so spoiled. I hope your muse continues the pace!
lol. Everyone was surprised by the time jump, it seems. Well, there will be glimpses into what happened between them over the past 3 1/2 years, but it will unfold slowly over time. I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and thanks for reviewing it.

ElyseNotElsie
08/17/2007 02:41 am
Chapter Forty-One         
I am DESPERATE for more! I love this story so much, and it makes my entire day each time you update.
Thank you! I'm glad to know that you like it.

08/17/2007 02:34 am
Chapter Forty-One         
First of all, let me just say that I was shocked at another time jump, but I'll get to that later.

Spike and Dawn: I love Spike and Dawn. It's a very odd relationship in that neither of them likes to seem vulnerable or less than bad-assed to other people, but both Spike and Dawn are okay with showing the softer side of themselves to each other. There's a brother/sister dynamic that comes through in their witty, and often sarcastic, banter as well as their tendency to look out for each other. One of my favorite Spike-Dawn moments on the show is when Dawn says, "I feel safe with you," and Spike is all affronted and says, "You take that back!" You’ve captured that same dynamic:

“You can’t just chain someone up and tell them to love you. That’s like—beyond obsession.”

“Well, I know that now, don’t I?”

I love it

Okay, back to the time jump. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised as time has been a major theme in the story. There’s flipping and skipping and overlapping. Most of the time, when I read a time travel fic, my head ends up spinning trying to keep up with what’s going on. But you’ve used a nice mix of time travel and linear progression to keep me from getting dizzy I love how the themes of time and love are interwoven. No matter the time or the place, no matter human or vamp, our two love birds (although I’m sensing some angst a-brewing ) are meant to love each other. Shakespeare had it right: Love’s not Time’s fool.
lol. Writing Spike and Dawn was incredibly fun; I love the way they play off each other. Everyone seems really surprised by the jump in time, but I hope that doesn't mean they think I've jumped the shark, plot-wise. In my mind, this is where the story has been heading all along. I just hope everyone else will join me for the ride.

08/17/2007 02:23 am
Chapter Forty-One         
Wow, you really are on a roll. I must say, I don't mind. I liked the parallels to After Life - Buffy being disoriented by the loudness and brightness of the world, Spike counting the days she was gone, the moment of awe (and aww) between them before the Scoobies bust in and interrupt.

I figured it wouldn't be happily ever after as soon as she came back (otherwise Part III would be way disproportionately short, lol), so I'm looking forward to the struggle for them to regain what they had in the past. Even though they are technically the same people, it's gotta be a huge adjustment for both of them... Buffy suddenly seeing Spike in a different light, while Spike is being faced with emotions he thought he'd buried for good.

I didn't really expect you to rehash all of seasons 2-5, since not much could change, really, and still end up close enough to canon that Buffy would still get thrown back in time. But I'm curious to see some of those events through the eyes of this Spike, since I imagine his feelings for Elizabeth played a role in his changing relationship with Buffy.
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.

08/17/2007 02:01 am
Chapter Forty-One         
LMAO at Dawn and Spike, particularly Dawn telling Spike he can't sniff Buffy's underwear. Too funny. Wonderful chapter.
Thank you! Spike and Dawn are always so much fun to watch and to write. I hated the BtVS writers for nixing their friendship in season six.

08/16/2007 09:53 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
Your writing just keeps getting better and better. I think about these two all day long, wondering where you're going with this. I have to add also that after I spent a semester studying abroad in London, it was *horrible* coming back to the states. Everything American *was* loud and confusing and jarring and hurt. Buffy's disorientation is so real, and Spike's hurt as well. I can't wait for the next installment and at the same time I want their story to never end. So glad your Muse is back.
Thank you so much! It's great to know that you're enjoying the story. Thanks for taking the time to tell me so.

08/16/2007 09:27 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
wonderful update....more soon, please.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

Darknightofthesoul
08/16/2007 08:25 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
More, more, more, more, more!!!!!
Glad you liked it.

08/16/2007 08:16 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
WOW what a way for her to come back. I can't imagine what Spike has gone through since the first time he saw her. I just hope that they can get sometime together and talk without the scoobs. They really just get on my nerves.
Yeah, the Scoobies can have that effect on people, lol. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for the review!

kim
08/16/2007 03:32 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
Well, since we still got to "Crush", and Spike being locked out of the house, I don't care what might have been different......because at this point, they're HERE. He knows, she knows, and now they just have to talk about it.....

The background will be cool, of course, whatever you might have changed or not changed, but what really matters is that she's Elizabeth, and now they've seen each other again.

I'm sure Spike is a bit traumatized....He fell for Buffy again, but he hasn't known it was *her*, until the proof just dropped in his lap, and suddenly, he's full circle. To know that everything he's done has been about Buffy.....

And Buffy's suffering some massive magical disorientation, but at least she knows Dawn and Spike. I liked your parallel to when they brought her back from the dead. Really nice touch. Poor Buffy....all she wants is to be back with William, and she's bombarded by Scoobies.

But where's Giles?
The history will come in snippets as we go ... very much in the background to what is taking place now. The main reason I added that author's note is because some people on SR were assuming I'd pick up from "School Hard" and work my way up from there, and they were really excited about that. So, I wanted to give them hope that they wouldn't be completely left in the dark about what happened back then. Thanks for the review!

08/16/2007 02:59 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
Thank you so much for the update and not keeping us in suspense for a long time! I like the way you captured her confusion and sense of dislocation. Of course, I walys loathe Willow and xander in this situation and here is no expection. Really looking forward to more. Thanks!
It's great to know that you enjoyed it. Thank you.

08/16/2007 02:41 pm
Chapter Forty-One         
Definitely enjoyed this chapter! I'm very anxious to see how everything connects. And....I hate Xander!
lol. Xander isn't the most helpful person on earth when it comes to Spike. But in his defense, the last time he saw Spike was in the Magic Box right after Spike had tied Buffy up and threatened to let Drusilla kill her. At least it wasn't the whole "doomed obsession" crap he pulled on poor Spike in season six's "Afterlife". I really wanted to take a lead pipe to his head when he said that to Spike ... who, after all, was crying behind a tree at the time. Thanks for the review!

08/16/2007 10:12 am
Chapter Forty-One         
Loved it -- can't wait for the mystery to be revealed.
Thanks!

Veronica
08/16/2007 07:59 am
Chapter Forty-One         
damn those Scoobies! Love them, but sometimes they just get in the way. And of course the "talk" between Buffy and Spike will be interesting to see too. thanks for the update!
Yep, the Scoobies are known for getting under foot at the worst possible time. I'm glad you liked the chapter - thanks for the review!

08/16/2007 07:39 am
Chapter Forty-One         
Holy crap! I'm so confused now, bad UB!!! i don't like being confused, lol. Dude, this was good, better than good. I liked how you made it that instead of Buffy dying she had vanished for the time she'd been dead. Very good twist.

So, since we don't know what's really going on yet all that you've given us is that Spike reconized the clothing and stuff. i wonder what did happen between then the past few years to reach this point. i really can't wait for the next update, but I know I have to. look toward it though!
lol. Confused but in a good way, right? I kind of expected some readers to be scratching their heads over this second leap in time, but all the questions will be answered, I promise. I'm just glad you're looking forward to new chapters. If the Muse continues to be kind to me ... who knows ... it might not be too long at all.

08/16/2007 07:21 am
Chapter Forty-One         
You stopped there?! NOOOOOO!!!! Okay, I'm over it. Oh Spike, when he realized what was happening... it made me all emotional. And I don't get emotional, mostly. Damn you, UB. But in a good way

Just a question- was she sent away before or after her mom's death? And I guess it's safe to say Giles is gone? Please update, like tm (I know, I know, if wishes were horses...)
She was sent away just after the episode "Forever" (the one where Spike and Dawn try to bring Joyce back from the dead). Giles is there; he was one of the five pairs of hands dragging Buffy to her feet. Not the grandest or most dramatic entrance for him, I know. But he'll come into play much more strongly as we go along. Thanks for the review!

LindsayH
08/16/2007 07:08 am
Chapter Forty-One         
Aw, pretty banner! Comma after hand, though. Oh my god, that was so good, I'm just freaking out here! It's so sad! And beautiful! And sad! I await patiently for the next update.
Sincerely,
Your scabby minion
I know ... E told me about the darn comma. I told you I was the Typo Queen! Anyway, it's fixed now. I'm really glad you liked the chapter!

Oh ... and minion ... where is my Stephen that you promised me?

08/20/2007 09:00 am
Chapter Forty         
"In killing Xin Rong, he lost something…something that had always made him special, something separate from his life as a vampire. The soft spot in his heart—kept deeply and carefully preserved for so long—became as hard and brittle as the rest of him. The slayer killer."

I love this section -
Thank you, I'm glad you did.

08/16/2007 04:58 am
Chapter Forty         
You have quite a knack for turning a phrase: "enormous steel lion;" "sharp-toothed little Messiah." I'm putting those two in my mental list right below "stupid with fear" from the coal bin chapter

"...so imbedded in its protective callous that even he ceased to find it."

I am reminded of the Grinch with his heart two sizes too small. Spike killed the Chinese slayer and killed the tender part of his heart. Seeing his Elizabeth's face again has made him remember that it's still lying there all dried up and pruney. And now he wants to kill another slayer to quell those feelings once again. A century has has dried up our poor boy's heart. Well, Buffy's just gonna have to dig it out and make it moist again...Okay, that was just icky

"Yet in not one of those hundreds of single-spaced, neatly typed pages was there an accurate summary of his human life, or of the journey that had taken him from there to here."

Except for FtTP, that is And that's what you've done: given us a glimpse into the life and times of William the bloody poet and Spike the bloody slayer of slayers. Aside from all of the many other things that I love about this story, I have to say that fact is one the best things about this story--it's originality. We got to peek in on our boy in bits and pieces on the show, a rejection here, a mother trying to hump her son there, offing a slayer over there. And those glimpses seemed adequate until you started filling in the blanks. I don't know what plot bunny :plotbunny: hopped through your head and said, "Wouldn't it be great if there was a story that filled in Willy's blanks and then made the story even better?" But I'm sure glad for that hoppity little bugger


Thanks for the review. And ROFL at the Spike/Grinch comparison. That is an awsome mental image you just gave me! And to tell you the truth, the plot bunny that began it all was really quite small and timid ... and then it went rabid and demanded more and more. This is why I suck at outlines.

Veronica
08/15/2007 07:21 am
Chapter Forty         
I am so excited!! can't wait for the first confrontation!
An update won't be long in coming, and I hope you will enjoy it when it arrives. Thanks for the review.

08/15/2007 01:24 am
Chapter Forty         
You are supremely evil to let it end like that! But I love you for it! Another new update and what a surprise, but I'm so delighted that you took us into the 'almost' present time. Perfect the way you had him justify why she looks like his lost love. Not that it will stop him from trying to kill her.

Now I look forward to Book III. Every chapter is so very much worth the wait. I'm secretly hoping that you will throw all of your devoted readers for a loop, you keep surprising us and adding all these lovely twists, that I can't help but want to be shocked. This line didn't help matters..

* If she had turned at just that moment, and noticed him standing there, then it was possible that the pattern of the next three years would have been irrevocably altered.*

And my favorite part of the story was the last line...

*Then, his eyes narrowed with the sudden realization of what he was doing, and he steeled himself for the confrontation. Because, clearly, the bitch had to die.*

*insert big cheesy grin* You couldn't have ended that any better.
There are some twists ahead - I just hope you guys don't see them coming. I live to shock! It's great to know that the story is living up to your expectations. I will work my hardest to be sure it continues to do so.

08/15/2007 01:15 am
Chapter Forty         
Heh, I think I know why all the SR people went crazy now...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do a little victory dance because I so called Spike's reaction, way back when. Spike assuming she's one of Elizabeth's descendants was clever, though - he'd have to rationalize it somehow.

I like how you've managed to show us a very different Spike, but bring him back to the point where, feasibly, nothing in canon would change until season 5. And yet, now there's a whole new layer to Buffy and Spike's relationship - why he's so determined to kill her, yet so ineffectual at it, and why he eventually falls in love with her. (It kind of makes me want to watch the show over again, with your story in mind as Spike's background.) Great way to conclude part II!
Yep ... you called it. And you irritated the crap out of me when you did! No more guessing storylines in public reviews, you naughty thing. I hope that doesn't mean my writing is predictable ... Anyway, I'm really glad you're still having fun reading the story. Thanks for the review!

08/15/2007 01:03 am
Chapter Forty         
oooh WOW.. im so amazed and happy and extatic about the way youve handled this fic!!! its smooth effortless and beautiful without being even one bit "been done before" or "old".

Therse very few authors that pull this off and you are definatly one of them. In fact you one of but a handful. You are one of the few "greats" that are still into Spuffy.

Love Jo.
I am so very flattered by your kind words - to be considered one the "greats" by a reader really is the highest praise I could hope for you. Thank you!

08/14/2007 11:13 pm
Chapter Forty         
He's finally here in SunnyD but another three and a half years before Buffy disappears. Wonder at what point he realises she's not a descendent, but the real thing? When she goes missing? We know he's always had a fascination for her and not because she's the slayer. It's a perfect blending of AU and canon. You know, you'd shown with perfect clarity, the moment he changed for William to Spike. Now to witness his metemorphose once again, from Spike, back to being more William-like. Wonderfully done, thanks UB, so excited about this, can't wait for more!
I'm so happy that you are enjoying the story so well. Thank you!

08/14/2007 07:57 pm
Chapter Forty         
very good ending to part II.
Thank you.

08/14/2007 05:47 pm
Chapter Forty         
Puts a whole new spin on "Love at first sight" doesn't it? Yay!
So glad you liked it!

08/14/2007 04:40 pm
Chapter Forty         
The writing in this chapter is just simply superb. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Thank you! It won't be long in coming.

08/14/2007 02:14 pm
Chapter Forty         
I've been dying for the moment he saw Buffy again and you didn't disappoint. So much has happened to him, it says a lot about his feelings for Elizabeth that he even remembers. Can't wait for more.
An update isn't long in coming. I hope you enjoy it, as well. Thanks for the review.

LindsayH
08/14/2007 01:26 pm
Chapter Forty         
Yay!! After reading this excellent chapter, I can't wait for PartIII. Awesome description. It's also great how we see Spike's thoughts. I know he thinks he's all Big Bad now, but I'm still feeling the William. I am just wondering how long it will take, being around Buffy, for him to realize just how not dead both William and Buffy are. Oh, and I gotta tell you, I saw the Report yesterday, and I must offer my condolences on Stephen's injured wrist, that and the fact that Katie Couric made him cry because she didn't wear the wriststrong bracelet. Well, gotta go, so happy you updated! Good luck with III!
Yep, I saw Stephen as well, the poor baby. Evil Katie for lying to him! I've actually taken him up on his offer to write in and ask for a wriststrong bracelet (he said you had to be famous, so I lied). We'll see how that goes. In regards to the review ... thank you! I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you enjoy the surprises that lie ahead.

08/14/2007 11:39 am
Chapter Forty         
I really love this story,but god,what a cliffhanger.please please please update a.s.a.p
Very, very soon. I promise.

08/14/2007 10:39 am
Chapter Forty         
I can understand the rage. The "why is my beloved in the ground, and *you're* here?". I can also understand not recognizing her, because after 100 plus years, she probably became idealized and she was obviously younger than he remembered. I'm waiting to see what happens and when or even if he finally recognizes her.
You are completely right ... a hundred+ years is a very long time to remember every detail of a face, and Buffy doesn't look quite the same in season 2 as she did in season 5. In fact, she looked quite different, to me. Glad you agree and that you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks!

08/14/2007 10:22 am
Chapter Forty         
You are evil! He finally gets too see her, and you end it. I love how he rationalizes why Buffy looks like Elisabeth. He had no idea she was from the future, so he would think she was a distant relative. Now he hates her because her "relatives" survived and Elisabeth didn't. It gives their fights a completely new dimension. I love it, and I can't wait for more.
I'm glad you enjoyed it despite my evilness. Thank you!

08/14/2007 06:38 am
Chapter Forty         
OMG! Ok, girly scream out of the way. ok, so this is Buffy from 97, not Buffy from 01, man what's going to happen. And you said the next three years. You're taking us on a wild ride girl, and I'm with you all the way. i can not, can not, wait to see what happenes next. And gussing since this is younger Buffy she won't know it's him. Really can't wait.
There are some unexpected twists ahead, and I hope you guys enjoy every one of them. Thanks for the review.

08/14/2007 06:21 am
Chapter Forty         
Amazing! A real treat to read. I can't wait for part III.
Thank you so much! It's coming very soon ...

Miss. Onyx
08/14/2007 06:10 am
Chapter Forty         
Holy Crappity Crap!
This took me completely by surprise. I'm so glad that Spike's finally made it to Sunnydale. I can't wait to see what other things will happen......I do have one mnor issue with this chapter though (And you know I'm not one to complain) but wouldn't he have noted the last name "Summers" as being the same as Elizabeth's? I would seem to me that THAT would have caught his immidiate attention, even if he were to just shrug it off citing coincidence, before actually seeing her face. Anyway. Great chapter. I can't wait for more!
Oops. My bad, there. In my head, he took account of the surname being the same, and that was why he assumed she was a relative. But I have a bad habit of expecting the reader to leap into my mind (and Spike's) and understand things without me adequately explaining them. I've added a couple of lines to make it more clear. Thanks for pointing it out!

kim
08/14/2007 05:30 am
Chapter Forty         
Okay, now for actual words - Ah, the wonderful thing about time travel. His Buffy and this Buffy won't intersect until Season 5, when she's called back, so they're going to go pretty much exactly how we've known it........probably, until suddenly, a Buffy that's loved William comes back to a Spike that loves buffy. And she can no longer look on the vampire the same way. But until then...oh, until then, Spike is going to be Spike.
So glad to hear that you enjoyed it. Thanks for both the squee and the actual words!

kim
08/14/2007 05:25 am
Chapter Forty         
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LIKE your enthusiasm.

08/14/2007 05:21 am
Chapter Forty         
Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! (claps hands in delight)

Boy this chapter had me absolutely bouncing in my seat. That, and I just got the movie "Chance" downloaded, so double goodness!

Okay, I simply cannot wait for three, and when Spike finally realizes that yes, that is his (I refuse to wholly separate Spike from William) Elizabeth, and how they both will react to each other. Though knowing Buffy, probably a reunion that's not of the good...

Excellent and high five!
Woohoo, a high five from Scarlet is high praise indeed. Thank you!

... and I agree with you ... William is not necessarily lost to Spike, no matter how hard he may tell himself otherwise.

Coquine
08/14/2007 05:06 am
Chapter Forty         
I know I've been horrible about reviewing, but I did want you to know that I've been following every chapter, and this is just so. damn. good. I just love this, every single moment. There has never been a re-write of history so real and convincing, of this I'm sure. I cannot wait for Part III. Bravo, sweetie!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad to know that you've still been reading. I hope I can keep you just as entertained in the future.

08/14/2007 04:33 am
Chapter Forty         
I don't think that there's a superlative that can do this fic justice. Awesome doesn't even come close. I've been wondering how you were gonna pull off that first meeting in Sunnydale, and you surpassed all my expectations. The fact that Spike only sees a slight resemblance to his Elizabeth and reacts badly (hates her with a passion) and that Buffy, of course, doesn't know him at all has got to be the perfect way to begin their relationship in the present. The evil cliffie may have me chewing my fingernails down to the bone, but I love it. Your next update will have me doing a happy dance for sure.
I'm going to do my very best to see that those happy dances continue. Thanks so much for your review.

08/14/2007 04:07 am
Chapter Forty         
GAH! ::strangling noises:: There will be a Part III? Mew? Please please? That's one heck of a cliffhanger, dearie!
Yep, there will be a Part III. This story is loooong. lol. I'm glad you liked it.

08/14/2007 04:04 am
Chapter Forty         
fabulous update...I'll be waiting for more soon!
Won't be long, I promise.

08/14/2007 03:56 am
Chapter Forty         
What do you mean - End of Part II ?!?! Oh my, what a cliffhanger!! Great story and I continue to love the way you develop Spike's changes in character over time. I'm really glad he felt a pang of recognition. Great chapter - thanks!
Thank you for reviewing. It's great to hear that you're enjoying the story.

daniel_nieves
08/14/2007 03:27 am
Chapter Forty         
sweet. I want to see where you take it from here.
Glad you liked it.

BT_
08/14/2007 03:23 am
Chapter Forty         
Oh My gosh! What are you going to do??? OK, I've been loving this story since ...well, you started it. It's so beautifully written and you've done the characters so well.
I wait for updates and click happily when they appear. But this?! This is just evil. are you taking lessons from one of the other cliffhanger-loving writers on here! agh! I may die of sheer anticipation and curiosity!
lol. I didn't intend it to be a cliffie, it just worked out that way. But now that you mention it ... those lessons could be interesting ...

*lbite me*
08/14/2007 03:18 am
Chapter Forty         
holy shit holy shit holy shit. God that was awesome please don't stop your writing
Thanx
Don't worry, I won't stop. I'm obsessed! Thanks for reviewing.

Mandythetherapistmusician
08/14/2007 03:08 am
Chapter Forty         
NICE...Oh I am REALLY looking forward to part III. This keeps getting better and better. It may actually be my favorite spuffy story ever written...including the show itself...lol...
How sweet of you to say. Thank you!

08/14/2007 02:52 am
Chapter Forty         
Great chapter - loved Spike's reaction to seeing Buffy again and very believable explanation on how neither one recognizes the other. How much time has passed for Buffy?
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

ElyseNotElsie
08/14/2007 02:43 am
Chapter Forty         
You've written this chapter so much better than I thought could be done. It's so satisfying and a great tease at the same time. Great! I continue to be hooked.
I'm so glad that you are. Thanks for commenting!

08/14/2007 01:47 am
Chapter Forty         
Holy cats what a great segue! PERFECT. Naturally he wouldn't realize it IS Elizabeth and she wouldn't know him from Adam until S5....Such a good reason why he just couldn't get the job done to kill her!

PERFECT, just perfect, like everything else in this story.

Kathleen
Why thank you! I really hope I can live up to your high opinion of my writing. I will definitely do my best!

Evangaline
05/31/2010 09:34 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
 hey just a heads up you might want to switch 39 and 38 and due some editing cause Angel was there when Spike killed the slayer!
This is the best story I have read so far!

08/14/2007 06:21 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
So some tiny voice still objects to what Spike has become. It still wonders what would Buffy think of him if she knew what he was up to. Can't wait to find out too!

So what's in store for our two vamps now, Pruge? Can't wait.
Glad you liked it. Thank you!

08/14/2007 02:21 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
One more thing:

Never thought I'd say this, but can *I* be Drusilla
ROFL - if only that were possible - well, we'd all be scratching each other's eyes out for the opportunity.

08/14/2007 02:16 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Thought I'd comment before I read the next chapter:

"He had to have her."

Fighting is very sexual to Spike. The dance is the same to him whether lying down, standing up, or beating the crap out of each other

Very well written fight scene. A lot of times written fight scenes come out very choppy, and I imagine it's very hard to convey something so physical in words. But you've accomplished the same fluidity that you use when writing the rest of the narrative. As I've said before, the time and effort that you put into your writing definitely comes across to the reader.

"...this was his night. His long-awaited triumph. And he would let no one—not even her—take that pleasure away from him."

Oh, sweet William, methinks you have crossed over to the darkside.

In Part I, you showed proper, respectful William the man turn into sexual, slightly rebellious William using his love for Buffy as the catalyst for his change. In Part Deux, we have a very obvious catalyst that immediately changes our boy externally from human to vamp. But he also undergoes a more subtle, gradual internal transformation that perhaps no one but William notices, except for maybe us You’ve shown a very natural progression from I-wanna-do-sort-of-evil-things-but-I’m-still-kind-of-ashamed William to I-get-off-on-killing-and-I’m-vamp-enough-to-admit-it Spike. The vampire at the end of Part II is very different from the vampire at the beginning at Part II. Our William has gone from still caring what his dear Elizabeth would think of what he has become to wanting to kill, wanting to gain notoriety by killing and going so far as to push away even the very thought of her to revel in what he has become. It will be very interesting to see how the rest of his story plays out to become the balance of man and vampire that we all love
Killing his first slayer is definitely a turning point for Spike; you're right about that. As for where that takes him ... well, you know my lips are sealed. Thanks for the review!

08/13/2007 05:09 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Love your fight scenes and seeing where the slayer made her errors. Those hesitations were glaringly apparent and painful to watch.
I agree. FFL was such a beautiful episode in that it was so realistic. Spike's accomplishments had less to do with him being a master fighter, and more to do with good timing and circumstances working in his favor. I'm sure he realized this, when he told Buffy that "every Slayer has a death wish". That explains the Chinese slayer's hesitation perfectly. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and thanks so much for taking the time to leave a review.

08/13/2007 12:31 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Reading this chapter really made me want to watch the Boxer Rebellion scenes from Fool For Love again. I think you described the fight scene perfectly. I love how, outwardly, he's the same Spike we saw, but underneath he's still dogged by Elizabeth.

The last line is brilliant. This scene was always the place where Spike really came into his own as a vampire, but you've added a whole new layer, as he's purging himself of Elizabeth and becoming the evil vampire he's been trying to be. Can't wait to see where you take it next.
I'm starting to really enjoy writing fight scenes, where before I despised it. Of course, the scene in FFL gave me a great base to build on. I adore that episode ... must have watched it a hundred times in order to research this story, and it never gets old. Thanks for the review!

08/10/2007 05:18 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Though, I love the fact that Angelus is not with them and Spike is allowed to be strong on his own, I hate that at that moment, he'd pushed his feelings for Elizabeth aside to enjoy his first victory at slaying a slayer. Makes me wonder, just how much she's lost to him from now on. Will he become the Spike we've known from canon and will his feelings for Dru, continue to grow? Will his beloved Elizabeth become nothing but a distant memory? Can't wait to find out! Is their meeting then, the start of part 3 or just Buffy's account of this new knowledge she has and the consequences of their time together? So exciting! Thanks for another update, love this.
You're so right in that this really does mark a turning point for him. Each time the violence escalates, he puts a little more distance between himself and William ... and, of course, by default, Buffy as well. Still, we know that no matter how tough he becomes on the outside, Spike will always retain that little soft spot in his heart, and that will eventually be his saving grace. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter and thank you, as always, for your review.

08/10/2007 04:36 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Very powerful - a great look at a familiar scene.
Thank you. I'm so glad you liked it.

08/10/2007 02:59 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
I am so impressed with the way you are charting his course from William to Spike. I love the way you map his transformation, taking time to show us the mutation of his thoughts and identity. Great job, too, in providingthe atmospherics of the scenes - really well done! Looking forward to each chapter. Thanks!
Spike has always been such a fascinating character, and it's a pleasure to write him. I'm glad you think I'm doing him justice. Thanks so much for your review!

08/10/2007 05:14 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
powerful fight scene. wonderful read, thank you.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review.

daniel_nieves
08/09/2007 10:17 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
sweet chapter.
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you.

Mandythemusician/therapist
08/09/2007 09:17 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
I love this story. I love how in depth you've gone with his history and I can't wait to see how things go when he meets Buffy "for the first time". Your work so far has been well-written, creative, smart and hits all the right points in his development without being redundant. As I said before, I LOVE this story.
I'm so glad you do, Mandy. Thank you for your wonderful, thoughtful, and very flattering review. I hope I can continue to live up to your expectations in the future.

08/09/2007 07:29 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Another update so quickly, how wonderful! This continues to be an incredibly detailed and interesting retelling, and by and large re-imagining, of Spike's history. While I can't wait for Spike to meet up with the modern day Buffy, I'm thoroughly enjoying this historical jaunt. I do enjoy your characterization of Darla, as well.
I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you! I struggled with Darla for a while, I'll admit, so it's wonderful to hear that you think I'm doing her character justice.

08/09/2007 07:17 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Another great chapter in this unique take on how William became Spike. Just fabulous.
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you!

08/09/2007 05:14 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Two updates in one week!? *squee*

I'm speechless. I'm not even sure I can pick a favorite line because I just enjoyed so many of the paragraphs. Your words were a delicious taste to my mind. Your description just flowed like butter. It was beautiful. I like the ever remaining tension between Spike and Darla. She thinks she is so above him. As for my fav's if I have to choose...hmm I loved..

*He had to have her.* That short sentence just speaks volumes. It made my stomach clench for what I knew was coming.

*“And then…there were two.”*

*“Just like I pictured it,” he told her, panting, excited in more ways than one. He asked, “Is this good for you?”* Both of these ring true to what I love about Spike. *naughty, wicked, Spike* He's cocky (but in a good way) he's sexy as hell and has no shame in letting you know he might want more that a bit of fist and fang.

I love how he just wants to embrace this dark side, not even allowing the thought of 'her' to steal it from him. Too bad for his demon, that deep in the burrows of his being there is still a bit of light.
lol. What can I say? I'm on a roll! I'm so glad to hear you say that he's sexy. Some people seem a little squicked out, reading about an evil Spike, but I, personally, adore him. He's a vampire, after all, and at this point in his existence, he has absolutely no reason to resist his darker urges. But you're right, even in the darkness, a bit of William still lurks ... Thanks for the review.

08/09/2007 03:11 pm
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
wow. that was incredibly powerful. Your fight scene with the Slayer was beautifully done. So glad to see an update!
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

08/09/2007 11:32 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
And now he starts his descent into uncaring brutality. It's almost as if the blood of the slayer removed the last clinging aspects of humanity.
A very nice way to put it. Thank you.

kim
08/09/2007 10:38 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
You weren't kidding that you had been a writing fiend lately....another update!

And oh, it was delicious....His first Slayer! Very well done recounting this night. We all know what happened, but I still hung on your every word.
lol. And I've got another chapter on the way right now. The Muse is being kind, for a change. I actually hesitated in posting this chapter. I knew I wanted to include it all along, but I was afraid that since everyone saw what happened on FFL, that it would be a little redundant. Still, I took a chance, and I'm glad it seems to have paid off. Thanks so much for the review!

08/09/2007 08:56 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Ooh *claps hands gleefully*

You know, I just read this Q&A thing where James said the whole head tilt thing was because dogs did it and he thought Spike was a dog? Well, it's still sexy.

Oh, will we see Slayers from other countries too? And can't wait to see your expansion on Nikki...
Did he say that? Wow, I've never heard that before, but it makes perfect sense. Vampires are very animalistic in their nature, and I know my dogs certainly cock their heads when they're curious. On them, it's cute, but on Spike, you're right, it's totally sexy. I'm glad you liked the chapter!

LadyYashka
08/09/2007 08:30 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
I loved this chapter. The fight between Spike and the Slayer was wonderfully done. I could see the whole thing in my head. Very well done, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
I'm glad you are. Thank you!

Onyx
08/09/2007 07:56 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Hellz yes!
I loved every minute of this one, and it seems very well researched as well.
I always love watching this scene on the dvds. You've captured it wonderfully.
I loved this scene in FFL, too. Best fight scene in the show, in my opinion. I ended up watching it over and over while writing this, because I wanted the moves to be accurate. Glad to hear I succeeded! I'm glad you liked the chapter and, as always, I really appreciate your review.

veronica
08/09/2007 07:16 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
what a wonderful surprise to see this story updated so soon! i love how you capture Spike's excitement over finally facing a worthy opponent. can't wait for the next installment!
Shouldn't be long now. I'm on a roll. lol. Thanks for the review!

petuniahortense
08/09/2007 06:23 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
I'm so glad you are back to writing this story!

I have been all disappointed because I thought you had abandoned it.

Welcome back
Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

LindsayH
08/09/2007 06:22 am
Chapter Thirty-Nine         
Another superb chapter. The way you write fight scenes is just too cool for words. And I can't say how much I love that little bit of William that peeks through at times. Thank you for updating!
I used to hate writing fight scenes, until I began this story. For some reason, they're coming much easier for me now. I'm glad they sound authentic, because I have literally no idea what the technical terms for all those martial arts moves are. lol. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter and, as always, thanks so much for reviewing.

08/14/2007 05:54 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Wow, loved your take on canon, and Spike's speech to Angelus. Great chapter as always!
Thank you so much.

08/09/2007 02:39 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
"With a bloodlust I could have controlled and didn’t. You might not have had a conscience, but you bloody well had a choice." that seems to sum the difference between angel and spike. excellent read, thank you.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!

08/08/2007 05:12 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
"But the Slayer was not on his mind...Instead, there was someone soft and warm, someone alive whose blood he did not crave."

Little does he know that he really is dreaming of the Slayer No one loves quite like our boy. Eighteen years and he still dreams of her, still loves her, still remembers her scent. And, hopefully, still has that ring in his pocket

"'You might not have had a conscience, but you bloody well had a choice.'"

I love that Spike calls Angelus on his attempt to separate his souled and unsouled selves. Angelus was just cursed with a soul, and already he's trying to deny responsibility for actions. On the show, I never understood why or how Angel convinced himself--and Buffy--that Angel and Angelus were two separate beings, that Angelus played Hyde to his Jekyll, when in reality, ANGEL was Angelus's alter ego. Angel's soul was a curse, and a very unreliable one, at that One good point that you've made in Part Deux is that vampires have no souls, no consciences, but they do have a choice. They may not feel guilt, but they do know the difference between right and wrong...they just don't care It's a very good point that goes completely against makes-no-sense-contradictory canon, but, in my opinion, works better.

Oh, I also love how Angelus has a soul that can go to Hell
Angel's hypocrisy is one of the main reasons I dislike his character. Angelus, at least, was honest: he liked killing. But give him a conscience, and suddenly it's all "I could NEVER do something like that. It was the demon - not me!" (I'm paraphrasing, of course.) And Buffy always let him get away with it. When Spike regained his soul, he was always honest about being responsible for some truly reprehensible acts, which, I think, is a true sign of redemption.

I'm glad you liked the update. Thanks for the review!

08/08/2007 03:32 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Yay! More story! *snuggles UB* Lovely thing to come back to after vacation.

I like the way you twisted canon on this one. So funny that people were confusing Angelus/Darla with Spike/Dru and calling them both the Scourge of Europe! And I love Spike's deliberate attempt to keep Angelus from getting rid of the soul. It makes Spike seem malicious and clever, whereas I always thought he came off kind of dopey, when he unknowingly screwed up Darla's deal on the show. Love the confrontation between the two of them, showing that their feelings about the soul were formed right from the beginning, and stayed pretty much the same for a hundred years.
I agree. The gypsy scene was played for laughs in the AtS episode, 'Darla'. I always disliked that ... well, I disliked it almost every time they made Spike play stupid for a cheap laugh. Still, the bare bones of the scene intrigued me, so I decided to tweak it, and give Spike a reason to do what he did. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks.

08/08/2007 02:29 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
You've definitely captured Spike's vicious hatred of Angelus. His killing that family so that Darla couldn't use them as leverage for curse removal was proof that Spike's spur of the moment plans can work.
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks!

08/08/2007 02:01 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Loved this twist to canon. Glad he got this confrontation with him. Angelus deserves no less. Eighteen years have passed and now a hundred more to go! Are we going to see what's happening to Buffy, any time soon? Love this so much, guess that's why it's driving me crazy waiting for them to be together again! *bounces in my chair* Thanks for the update UB.
Without giving too much away ... we are reaching the last leg of Part II. Glean from that what you will.

Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks!

08/07/2007 02:47 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Very exciting chapter UB.

With the Slayer removed from the equation - which brings up the question why Spike only killed two. There must have been others around.

Carfax Abby. Heh heh. You sneak.
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks, as always for the review.

As for Carfax Abbey -- you are my new best friend. I was hoping someone would notice that.

daniel_nieves
08/06/2007 09:08 pm
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Sweet chapter unbridled. I wonder where the story will go from here.
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you.

08/06/2007 07:30 pm
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Stunning confrontation. Spike really is his own man.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

grave tidings
08/06/2007 05:24 pm
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
oh, gods but I love this stuff. I can't say enough good things - vivid, in character dialogue so clear I can hear the characters talking, sheer delight to read. And Spike - the best characterization and motivation I've read of him in months and months.

And I'm glad your hand is all right.
Thank you so much! The most important thing in this story, I think, is that I do Spike's character justice. It's great to hear that you believe I have.

08/06/2007 02:42 pm
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Bloody Brilliant Chapter! You do such an amazing job with detailing and showing the depth's of each character. I love what you've done with the development of your Spike and am chomping at the bit to see what you do with him next. I loved so many lines from this chapter.

*Oh, no, you don’t, Spike thought savagely. And with vindictive pleasure, he stepped into the cart and closed the door behind him.* Just makes me snicker with glee to see him do that.

And that entire scene between him and Angelus..wow. The best part was Spike mocking him and finishing the prayer..but Angelus unknowingly still got a dig in didn't he? "There's nothing good in you"...
Spike finishing Angelus' prayer was my favorite scene to write, although I have no idea why. And you're right, Angelus might be down, but he got his blow in as well. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and the rest of the chapter. Thanks, as always, for taking the time to tell me so!

kim
08/06/2007 11:16 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Wow...I'm shivering, that chapter was so powerful. Poor Liam/Angel...that's a weight no one was meant to carry, but it's his, now..

And Spike's enjoying his chance to be the Big Man now....except that won't be satisfying, either. Nice how even though the Scourge was separated here, he's still motivated to go after a Slayer to get out of Angelus' shadow.

I had a horribly crappy day, being sick, but finding a new chapter tonight was excellent!

*bows at UB's feet*
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that you're sick, kim. I'll send over some virtual chicken soup in hopes that you'll feel better soon. Even better, I'll send over a new chapter.

Except ... wait ... it's not even written yet. Oops.

Thanks for the review.

LindsayH
08/06/2007 10:41 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Best chapter. Best! Oh, how I wish Buffy could have seen that night. It all comes down to choice anyway, soul or not. Please update soon, because you're doing such an awesome job, and I can't wait for the Boxer Rebellion!
How nice to hear! Thank you!

Onyx
08/06/2007 09:39 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
hmmmm, interesting take on this. I was expecting Spike to be unaware of the change in Angelus, but him knowing will make things much more interesting.
I anxiously await more....LOTS MORE! >_
You greedy thang. Thanks for the review.

08/06/2007 09:24 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Oh this was good.
I loved Spike laying into Angelus like that. Brilliant as always.
Glad you liked it. Thanks!

08/06/2007 08:38 am
Chapter Thirty-Eight         
Well, whatdya know... For a moment there, I thought you were gonna curse Spike *phew* So glad we dodged that bullet... But what does this mean for 1900? Will they be a happy family (or at least posing to be one, what with the grudges and the filthy soul) during the Boxer Rebellion?

Stay tuned to find out...

Or stay... what the hell do you call it for reading something as opposed to watching?
Eh, you use your eyes for both, so "staying tuned" should work.

You thought I was going to curse Spike with a *soul*? :gasp: No! No filthy soul for our boy. He's got far too much to do.

Thanks for the review!

Anna
08/11/2007 03:58 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
I completely forgot about the "Little Girl in the Coal-bin" story. When did Spike tell Dawn that one? During Crush, maybe. Whatever.
I love this story. Great insight to Spike's character and how he got to be the "big bad" he is...was anyway.

Thank you x a billion for the update!
Yes, Spike told that story to Dawn during "Crush". It was one of my favorite scenes, although, of course, Buffy had to interrupt them and hurt our boy's feelings. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks so much for taking the time to review it.

08/10/2007 05:00 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
“Perisher!” if angelus said it, he must be giving himself a new name. if spike said it, he was simply accurately describing angelus. excellent read, thank you.
lol. Angelus was saying it to Spike. But you're right - it's a very apt description for himself. Thanks for the review.

08/08/2007 02:21 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Ah, the dreaded coal-bin story. I'm glad to see that although not in its complete form, Spike wasn't lying to Dawn when he told the end of it.
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you.

Mrs X
07/21/2007 09:07 pm
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
This is another fantastic chapter. Everything feels real, authentic, in charachter. I could repeat what other reviewers have written, but I'll just say that I agree with them.

Angelus "saving" Spike was a fascinating piece of insight in his charachter. No one kills Spike but Angelus. Spike is his property. The killing of the Dutch slayer was without honour and without intent. It was all about Angelus, and if this is what he refers to when he utters "one of us" after Spike has killed the Chinese Slayer, well, that speaks volumes about him.

I also found it very fitting that Spike should use the words "Jesus Christ" when he hears Angelus' voice in his ear. -...and "sentiment"? such a good choice!

lol. Yeah the "Jesus Christ" exchange sort of wrote itself. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!

07/21/2007 01:21 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
The little details that you add to your story (the Dutch doors, the use of the old word “perisher”) really help to make the period piece to seem authentic. Those little touches show how much time and thought that you put into your writing.

The coal-bin girl! You take the littlest canonical events, change them just slightly, and insert them into your own UB-verse That’s what I’ve been talking about when I’ve told you that you could insert your story into canon almost seamlessly.

The little girl’s features scream Buffy: round face, bow-shaped lips, blonde hair, big hazel eyes. Not just her physical appearance, but her actions, as well. She hides when her older brothers are too scared to even know when their mother is trying to get them to run (love “eyes stupid with fear.” Such a uniquely vivid turn of phrase). She doesn’t cry when her family is killed, not giving herself away (unfortunately, she does have to breath ). And she waits until the coast is clear to escape. In other words, she handles the situation much like Buffy would have; she is brave even though the odds are against her. Was that whispering voice telling Spike that to kill this little girl would be to keep Buffy from coming to be?

Do you think that canon Spike really did let the canon coal-bin girl go? Knowing how he was with Dawn, and his soft spot for women, maybe he really did give her to a nice family
Thank you so much. Your reviews are always a pleasure to read, IB. It's great to hear that you're still enjoying the story.

07/21/2007 12:23 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Yeah, we short squat types can be deceptively fast and strong. Hee hee! Loved the interaction between Spike and the Dutch slayer.
lol. Good to hear I got it right, then. Thanks for the review!

Time of Change
07/20/2007 11:50 pm
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
The second part of this story is absolutely incredible. The writing is spectacular and the story is fascinating.
How nice of you to say. Thank you! A lot of readers seem to be disappointed with or upset by Part II because of its darker nature. It's so nice to hear a reader is enjoying it.

LindsayH
07/20/2007 02:39 pm
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
A throwaway comment from the show, brought to life by your capable hand. And nice touch, making her Buffy's ancestor! Waiting patiently for the next update.
"Capable hand" ... wow, I'm incredibly flattered that you see it that way. Thank you.

07/20/2007 12:44 pm
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Angelus killed the slayer? Interesting change in events.

I loved the little girl in the coal bin LOL... and I imagine 'and then I fucked Dru sensless against a wall while she escaped' isn't exactly something he would want to tell Dawn in front of Buffy!
ROFL. Yeah ... Spike definitely would've bypassed that part of the tale. I just had a great mental image of Buffy's face if she heard him say it, though.

Thanks for the review!

07/20/2007 08:55 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
I missed chapter 36, so i had to read both this one and the last update. I really enjoyed both of them, and I liked how you made Spike stand up to Angelus, but of course he just had to get him back. i also enjoyed how Dru chose Spiek over her Daddy and stayed with him, and helping him get in shelter before the sun rose. I'm very much looking foward to your next chapter. I'm enjoying the Adventures of Spike and Dru, I don't want them to end. ^_^
Good to hear that you're enjoying Spike and Dru. I know a lot of readers are counting the days until Part II ends. lol. Thanks so much for the nice review!

07/19/2007 11:07 pm
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
I loved it. Can't what for the next update. I loved the coal bin bit.

Your words jump off the screen and come to life in my imagination. Thank you.
That's such a great thing to hear. Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Onyx
07/19/2007 06:43 pm
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Suuuure he is! lol
Brilliant update, well worth the wait. I hope things are going well for you. Keep bringing us this magic!
Things are much better now, thank you. And thanks for the review! Glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter.

07/19/2007 01:25 pm
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Wonderful chapter -- so atmospheric. I loved the kiddie in the coalbin catch. Fabulous stuff.
How nice of you to say, Lou. Thank you so much.

LadyYashka
07/19/2007 10:10 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Lovely chapter! It was certianly worth the wait.
I'm happy to hear that. Thank you!

07/19/2007 08:58 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
For some reason, this line tickled me pink: "their eyes stupid with fear." Ask me no questions, UB...

And, Angelus, really! He was just as insolent with the Master (yes, I know, circumstances were different, lol. The Master not having a sexual interest in him, after all).

As for the little girl in the coal bin- you could've taken that one of two ways, but I like the way you handled it. Though I must wonder if he ate her in canon, being a "veal kind of guy," after all. He's still drowning in her, and doesn't fully realize it... Oh wow- just had a thought- what does this mean for your version of "School Hard?" Oh, so many questions (bounces in seat). Can't wait for the update!! Will we be in the House of Pain? (twirls excitedly)

I really shouldn't write reviews so late at night...
You were amused by that line, huh? Yeah ... I'm going to leave that statement alone. lol

I think that in canon, Spike probably did eat the girl in the coal bin. Some of Spike's motivations have changed in my story, due to Buffy's influence, and some of Spike's decisions have changed as well. He's still evil, but he's also still William, at heart. What that means for the future, I'm not going to say. But I hope you enjoy it when it comes.

kim
07/19/2007 08:57 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Well, well....

And no more Angelus for 17 years? That's a bit of a surprise....if only because of Dru and her relationship with her sire.

So Spike figured out that he's not old enough to face Slayer after Slayer, yet....I'm interested in how you will improve his skills.
Well, things are going to be pretty well off canon in Part II, because of Buffy's influence on William's (now Spike's) character. So, yeah, expect some more surprises on the way. I want to keep you guys on your toes, after all.

As always, thank you very much for taking the time to review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter ... which, I know, was painfully long in coming. lol

07/19/2007 04:49 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
This was very much worth the wait. You did it up right. I love what you did with the coal bin girl story. I like how you didn't go with the presumed killing of the child nor the story that he "gave her to a loving family". My favorite bit...

*He also thought that if Dru whined one more time about not liking the way Dutch people tasted, he would abandon her in the charred ruins after said burning.* It made me laugh what can I say?

Also enjoyed the description in the next paragraph about his fluctuating mood. I could just see him filled with the pent up emotions boiling over. Angelus was a surprise to see but a nice one. Don't want to assume that you are going to jump ahead a bit in the time frame but I hope you do to the Boxer Rebellion period. Keep up the amazing work!
Oh, I'm very glad it was worth the wait! I know the update was long in coming, and I'm really sorry. Bad Muse took a holiday and left me holding an unfinished chapter, lol.

07/19/2007 04:43 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Thanks for the update. I bet Spike's done with slayers for a while. How embarrassing for him, Angelus was waiting for them for nearly a year. Glad he didn't kill the child though. Helps to keep some of his humanity to feel the difference. so excited about this, I hope you'll have the time to post again soon, thanks UB, really enjoyed it.
Thanks so much for the review, Verda. I'm sorry the chapter was so long in coming. The Muse was being very uncooperative, lol. But I'm glad you enjoyed the update when it finally came.

ElyseNotElsie
07/19/2007 04:41 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
I'm so glad you updated. Your story has me completely hooked (I can't get enough of the epic-fics, even if it KILLS to wait for each installment). Great stuff, keep it up!
What a nice thing to say. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know that you're enjoying the story. I hope I can live up to your expectations in the future.

07/19/2007 04:35 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Awww! Coal bin girl! It always seemed like the end of the story in Crush would have been, "And then I killed her," if Buffy hadn't walked in, so I'm curious whether the reason he finds killing children to be wrong has to do with Elizabeth.

Loved the contrast between this Slayer and the last one - and I was definitely surprised that Angelus popped up to kill her, since Spike claims Angelus had never done it.

Curious to see where it goes from here... and definitely worth the wait. (But, uh, if you happened to post the next chapter a little more quickly, I wouldn't complain. )
I agree with you on Spike's story in Crush. I think he did kill the girl in the coal bin. But Buffy's presence in William's life has altered the past somewhat, and I think that's demonstrated in this chapter's scene with the little girl. Glad to hear I got that point across in my writing.

I guess Angelus' killing of the Slayer could be interpreted in one of two ways. Either history has been altered enough by Buffy for Angelus to do something he didn't originally do (kill a Slayer), or Spike was lying when he said Angelus never had. I tried to leave that purposefully vague. Although after Spike killed his first Slayer in FFL, I noticed that Angelus said "I guess that makes you one of us," which sentence served to inspire that particular scene in this chapter.

Thanks so much for your review. It's wonderful to hear that you enjoyed the chapter. And I'm very hopeful that the next update won't be so long in coming. RL has improved considerably, thank god, so that should contribute to quicker posting.

07/19/2007 04:34 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Fantastic chapter! Love your take on the coal bin child...sounds right (that wee voice of William still alive though overpowered for the most part).

Angelus is perfectly in character too.

Love the contrast in Slayers and Spike having certain expectations frmo them to be met to make the kill "worth it".

Still the most extraordinary story out there and this chapter continues that legacy.

Kathleen
Thank you so much for the kind review! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story.

I cannot say how much I love writing Angelus, and it's great to hear I'm doing his character justice.

I always thought half of Spike's obsession with the Slayers was because of their skill and the other half was because of a certain sexual attraction to them. The ones he killed were pretty, they were strong, and they were, as you said, worth his attention. After my hubby made a sarcastic comment about all Slayers being beautiful, I decided to play with the idea that they aren't, and to see what Spike's reaction might be if he was faced with one that wasn't. It was a fun scene to write.

07/19/2007 03:20 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
Excellent as always. Interesting how Spike has sunk so low that he isn't bothered when Drusilla is torturing children, yet he can still let another one go. Just when I thought William was totally wiped out, he peaks out again. Loved the Slayer - what a brute.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks, as always, for taking the time to let me know.

The less-than-beautiful Slayer was actually inspired by my husband. I was watching some season seven BtVS episodes and he kind of snickered when Buffy, the Potentials, and Faith were all on screen together. He asked "Are ALL Slayers skinny, pretty, supermodel types? Well, that got me thinking ...

daniel_nieves
07/19/2007 03:15 am
Chapter Thirty-Seven         
great chapter. Can't wait to read the update.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

kim
07/18/2007 11:24 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Hey, babe, someone was asking me how this fic was coming, on another site, so I'm just wondering how you're doing....RL been crazy? *hugs*
Sorry it took so long! I feel really bad about leaving everyone hanging so long. RL was pretty awful for a while, but things have slowed down and improved considerably. So, hopefully, I'm back on track writing-wise.

06/30/2007 05:47 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Finally got a chance to read this chap.

Excellent fight scene...I don't think Angelus will underestimate our boy again. Darla may prove to be a more dangerous enemy than Angelus, though.
Thanks for the review. Sorry it took me so long to tell you that. I'm falling sadly behind on answering reviews. Darn you for introducing me to lj. Now, I'm addicted!

I'm glad you liked the chapter!

Mrs X
06/12/2007 01:41 pm
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Excellent!

06/12/2007 05:41 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
excellent read, thank you. bonus points for spike showing angel that he is not in control.

06/10/2007 04:57 pm
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Spike just keeps getting angrier and cockier--fortunately he has the luck and the determination to pull it off. And Darla seems to have taught him that occasionally a strategic retreat is in order.

06/10/2007 04:16 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
wow, I still love your story sweetie Hope you can update soon *hugs*

06/08/2007 11:39 pm
Chapter Thirty-Six         
This just gets better and better. LOVE strong Spike. The fight scene was spectacular....note perfect! Just enough detail to be visual without sounding like a "how to" manual for fistacuffs. Hard to do and my hat's off to you, you excelled.

Love Spike staking his territory with Dru and not taking any shite off of Darla OR Angelus. Nice he noticed Angelus' arrousal and learned something important from that in dealing with his grand sire.

Excellent on all counts. This is a masterwork deserving all awards now and in future.

Kathleen

Onyx
06/08/2007 10:32 pm
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Awesome.....When Spike threw Angelus out of the window....I wanted to erect statues in your honor.

LindsayH
06/08/2007 09:33 pm
Chapter Thirty-Six         
I see what you mean about writing Angelus--I haven't had so much fun reading him in ages! Of course, that might have something to do with the total thrashing Spike was giving him. Love it, cannot wait for another update!

06/08/2007 07:08 pm
Chapter Thirty-Six         
I can't see Angelus respecting anyone enough to learn from them. On the other hand, Spike's willingness to learn from the Slayer is making him a more powerful warrior. The fight scene was just wonderful...you made it look easy, and boy is that hard. Like a dance performance where the audience only sees the magic, not the hours of work that made it possible. Loved, loved, loved it!
I'm so glad you did. Thank you!

06/08/2007 03:58 pm
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Beautifully written fight scene. Believable and easy to visualize.
How did Spike and Dru get away? I'd think it would be as difficult for them to get far as it was for Darla to find Angelus and get him inside before they met a dusty sunbright end.
Well, Angelus had lost quite a bit of blood, so I doubt he would have stormed into the flat without having something to eat to give him energy, first. That would give Spike a little time to get a head start on him. Also, there is nothing to say that Angelus woke up right away and left the shop at sunset. He might still have been out cold while Spike and Dru were making their exit.

06/08/2007 11:25 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
This was a terrific chapter -- and one of the best fight scenes I've read. Spike is really coming into his own. Fabulous story.
Thank you, Lou. I struggled with that darn scene and rewrote it several times. It's nice to know the end result was good.

06/08/2007 10:35 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
This was wonderful. I just loved getting to see Spike beat Angelus in a fight, and without letting his demon show. It just shows that Spike has more control over himself.
Great update and I'm always looking forward to more.
I'm glad you liked it. That fight scene was really difficult for me; I think I had to rewrite it five times. I now have a whole new respect for you, writing your big epic battle scenes. Thanks for the review.

veronica
06/08/2007 07:54 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
wow what a fantastic update! I love how you write Spike - especially when the part when Spike was intoxicated with the power he had over his grandsire... and yet he chose not to act on it. Just goes to show you that Spike is a much better man than Angel. (although I'm pretty sure I don't need to convince anyone on here, haha) And just like everyone else on here, I love the tenderness between Spike and Dru. Simply perfect!
lol. No, I don't think you'll get much argument on that matter. And I'm so glad that people are responding positively to Spike's relationship with Dru. I was afraid some readers might feel that it lessens his love for Elizabeth(Buffy), when it doesn't at all. Glad to hear that you guys know that. Thank you.

06/08/2007 07:36 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Thanks for the knock down drag out between Spike and Angelus...a Spike won! Just loved it, thanks, it was fantastic! Love this can't wait for them to find each other again and for him to realise he's going to be a father. Thanks for another update. Your's and Gillypod's are the only ones I've read since I've been out of the hospital, that's how much I love it. Thank you so much for posting, can't wait for more.
I didn't know you were in the hospital, Verda. I hope you're okay and feeling well now. Thank you for taking the time to let me know you liked the chapter.

06/08/2007 07:25 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Wonderfully written fight scene! Ah, revenge is sweet. You could tell that Spike was savoring his.

My favorite line...
*He folded his arms behind his head and grinned wryly. “I’ve got the new Slayer. All wrapped up pretty and waiting for us.”*

I can just see Spike doing this and I love him all snarky, so damn sexy. I'm liking the evolving of his and Dru's relationship. Your doing a fine job in the development of it. It's necessary for Spike in becoming who he is. I defy anyone to flame you about the telling. *Glares hard at those who try*

The whole bit with Darla there in the tub with Dru and him just making himself at home and then him preventing her from leaving was just priceless. I could see her reaction so clearly it made me smile. Great job hun, keep it up!
Yay, my very own flame shield! Thanks for the support, AC, and the review.

fanxstitch
06/08/2007 06:58 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
another excellent chapter. Thank you so much for writing more of this wonderful story.
Thank you for taking the time to review it, fanxstitch.

kim
06/08/2007 05:39 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
OMG, that was freakin' fabulous!!!!!!!!! Like the best scene in a movie. You even described the hold well that Spike had on Angelus on the floor! Girl, you really outdid yourself, and I can't *wait* for the next chapter. Spike rules!!!
Given the amount of time I spent struggling with this chapter, it thrills me to no end to know that you feel that way. Thank you so much for the review!

06/08/2007 05:32 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Yay!! *claps* Lovely update. The fight scene was great, and really showed off how much Spike has learned from fighting a Slayer. (Although, I will admit, at the phrase "intercourse with the Slayer" I had dirty thoughts. ) Spike and Dru were very sweet together - and even though part of me goes, "But... but... Elizabeth!" I know he's gotta have strong feelings for Dru, in order to end up the Spike we know. And I'm eager to see what happens with this new Slayer....
lol. Bad Eowyn! No more naughty thoughts about Spike's intercourse! Thanks for the review.

06/08/2007 04:08 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Oh, VERY well done! Lol. That was a beautiful revenge. I love it. And I love the growing tenderness between Spike and Dru.
Revenge is sweet. Although I'm not certain we've seen the last of Angelus. Thanks for the review.

06/08/2007 04:02 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
Great fight scene and worth waiting for.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you feel that way.

daniel_nieves
06/08/2007 03:16 am
Chapter Thirty-Six         
sweet. Angelus got what he had coming to him. He deserved everything Spike gave and more.
Poor Angelus. Does no one side with him in this story? Well, yeah, me neither. Thanks for the review.

Mesh
11/13/2009 03:59 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
I'd like to understand your view on Spike's subconscious/psychological association between slayers and Elizabeth . If there is one. What brought on his fixation? Was it Buffy who caused it? Or is it just his desire for fame and nothing more?
There was no connection between Elizabeth and Spike's fixation with slayers. He was fascinated with them not only because they represented potential fame, but also because they were the ultimate challenge. This was presented in the canon of the series and I didn't deviate from it in the story. Thanks for the review.

LindsayH
06/08/2007 09:25 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Ok, this chapter was just pure fun, a little vacation to the Eternal City! I loved the banter between the Slayer and Spike!

Deb
06/04/2007 08:23 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Another fabulous chapter that you've given to us. Am enthralled by the detail of your vision for Spike. His sparring with the Slayer, his melancholy and grief he continues to weave into his existance as a vampire. Loved the playing of the piano. All lush detail and so heartfelt. Love Dru's vision of Miss Edith with her eyes covered. Fantastic wordsmithing!
What a nice thing for you to say, Deb. Thank you!

06/03/2007 05:15 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
He honed his skills with this Slayer. It's too bad he didn't find the demon who killed her. Wonder what Angelus wants? We know he's pissed about them leaving but still wondering what's to happen with his return. I loved the dream William had about he and Buffy getting married in Italy. It was very romantic. Can't wait for them to meet in the future. She knows he's coming but he doesn't have a clue. Still wondering if Buffy went home to her own time or will time be slow for her as well. She's having to wait for over a hunderd years to go by. Great chapter, Cam. Thanks.
Thank you for the review. I'm glad to hear you're still enjoying it.

bunnyluv_pet
06/01/2007 09:14 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Really have been enjoying this story very much. Its the first fic i've read in quite some time.

can't wait for the next chapter.
How flattering to know that you chose my fic when returning to the fandom. Thank you.

05/27/2007 03:19 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Need I shower you with praise? Um, yeah, lol. When you described dhis dream of taking Buffy and his mom to Italy I could picture it. It almost brought tears to my eyes for the dream that he could never have.

His first meeting with the slayer, priceless. I loved it, and the banter, yay. So this again gives insight as to why he was so taken with Buffy as a warrior. I'm loving this trip, but I also can't wait until the meet once again. A thought just came to me. Has Buffy landed dback in her time or is she back in the past? I mean, will she know who he is when they meet at the Bronze? I can't wait to find out. And I think Miss Edith has already told Dru the future but she dosen't want to let Spike know.
Hey, you don't *need* to shower me with praise, but I'm certainly not going to complain if you do. lol. Thanks for the review.

05/22/2007 06:09 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
love spike's encounters with his first slayer. it shows who he is. enjoy how you capture dru, so sad, so needy. thank you for a excellent read.
Thank you. I'm glad you like the characterizations.

05/22/2007 12:55 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
“Who papered their walls in white-dotted lilac anyway?” I can totally see Spike killing someone because they were tacky

“Ciao, bellezza.”

Hello, cutie! Nice touch And so our fair William encounters his first slayer. Your telling of it echoes his first few fights with Buffy in the canon: Spike seeks her out, watches her, studies her, and then goes in for the fight. When she overcomes him, he backs off, not running away, but coming back for more. Spike sees his worthy opponents (i.e., slayers) as equals. He doesn’t know that he will win, but that seems to be the attraction for him. Spike is the ultimate anti-hero, and I think that that’s part of why we love him. He fights with a sense of honor and respect—even when he’s trying to kill you

“Be sweet to me, pet. Love me a little while.”

Are you TRYING to kill me? Poor Spike seeking comfort à la Season Sex Buffy, trying to capture a false sense of love. Why does he always have to draw the short straw? Why? To paraphrase the Everly Brothers, when will our boy be loved????
What can I say, I just have to write angst.

05/21/2007 10:49 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
I can't wait to see how you handle Angelus getting his soul...if that happens in your story...
Beautifully written, as always!
Thank you, BT. I'm glad you're still enjoying it.

Lea
05/21/2007 08:44 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Lov-ing, this! Absolutely gorgeous and heart-wrenching. Looking forward to more!
Thank you so much!

05/21/2007 06:40 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Awesome chapter. I am glad that in some aspects Spike and the slayer in Italy had an odd relationship. It was all about honor with both of them. And for some reason I even think that Dru is good for him. I don't know if he would be watching his own back if he didn't have someone. But Angelus would have to show up....
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks so much for taking the time to review.

05/21/2007 04:59 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
I love how this fic is turning out so far. I haven't seen to many PreBuffy Spike fics that were really good but you capture Spike in a light that shows him as the badass Slayer of Slayers, yet still William in a sense. Great read so thanks.
Thanks so much. I'm glad you like it.

I always saw a lot of William in Spike (even before we were actually introduced to William on the series.) Spike always seemed oddly loyal as a vampire, and very much a nurturer when it came to Dru and, later, Buffy and Dawn. I wanted to maintain that wonderful balance in my version of him. I'm glad to hear that I'm succeeding so far.

05/21/2007 04:46 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Oh, UB, how I love this story! I'm going to wait until tomorrow to leave the review that this chapter deserves, but I just wanted to let you know that me likey
Thank you so much, IB. I always look forward to your reviews, so I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for it.

05/21/2007 04:43 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Awesome chapter, UB! I love the relationship between Spike and the Italian Slayer - you really do a great job of showing the beginnings of Spike's attitude toward Slayers. And I agree with the review how sad it is that Spike thinks Elizabeth wouldn't love him for what he'd become, when Buffy knew exactly what he would become. Angelus showing up can't be of the good, but I think Spike is more prepared now that he's fought the Slayer.
You're right about that. Spike has sharpened his teeth on the master; he won't be the easy target for Angelus that he once was.

I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reviewing.

Carole
05/21/2007 03:48 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
You're doing such a wonderful job of writing this Spike. His memories and reasoning are different from canon but the coloring in of his history is so believable. Which makes his thoughts of Elizabeth, his certainty that she would no longer love him, all the more heartbreaking. Because she knew it all. The fight scene was wonderful. I love the phrase "he stood on the stone shoulders of a god." What great imagery. Hope you're feeling better and off to read the translations.
I'm feeling much better, thank you. And thank you, as well, for the kind review.

05/21/2007 02:12 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Excellent Drusilla, loved your Italian Slayer, and the action scenes were great.
Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

05/20/2007 11:16 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Another brilliant chapter! I am loving this construction of Spike. He will never totally forsake his memories of what was and what he had desired but he is forging a different future with each choice. You really have captured him beautifully.

Your Dru is dead on as well.

Looking forward to the next chapter and finding out what Angelus has up his sleeve.

Kathleen
I'm so glad to hear my Spike continues to ring true. Dru, as well. Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me so.

05/20/2007 10:31 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Another engrossing instalment of Spike's history. This is exceptional writing.
Thanks so much, Lou. I'm glad you like it.

05/20/2007 06:14 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Eeeep! Shit!

Hoo, boy. Next chapter should be veeerrrry interesting. Can't wait to see how Angelus feels about a young upstart taking one of his women and leaving the country, and to fight a Slayer, no less!

I've always loved the idea that Spike had met and fought several Slayers, and bested two. I'm really enjoying your take on his history. I could read it forever and never get bored! Can't wait for more!
What a great compliment, Coquine, thank you!

In regards to the other Slayers, I agree with you. I couldn't imagine he only met two in his lifetime. He must have honed his skills before he was able to beat the Chinese Slayer, and I always thought the best way he could do this was by fighting other Slayers over the years.

Onyx
05/20/2007 06:14 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
.......Niiiiiiceee.
I Loved Spike's pov of the Slayer, and all his reactions to her. I was wondering what was going to happen with her since, his first Slayer kill was obviously not in Italy. And now Daddy's home....I'm sure THAT will go SWIMMINGLY.
Oh, yes. I'm sure there will be many familial revelries now that "Daddy" is home. That or utter chaos and destruction.

Thanks for the review!

05/20/2007 04:13 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Goes a long way in explaining the Slayer obsession. And his insistence on a fair fight when he views the opponent as worthy.
That's exactly what I was hoping to convey. Thanks so much for the review, nightshift.

LadyYashka
05/20/2007 01:07 pm
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Oh I loved this chapter. Poor Spike, still dreaming of and grieving Elizabeth. I loved the parts with the Slayer. You did a wonderful job describing their dance. I liked Spike's reaction to her death as well. It was very much Spike.

And now Angelus is back. I can't wait to see what happens next!

By the way-I tried doing this earlier, but my connection was screwing around with me. Better late than never.

Yep, I definitely appreciate your reviews, Lady, regardless of when they arrive. Thanks!

05/20/2007 09:03 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
I almost thought that the weekend would go by w/o an update from you! Lucky me. I'm out of words, as if I haven't praised this story enough. Another brilliant chapter hun. You made me miss Europe in this one.

*He would live with her in a rented villa with stone floors and enormous windows that looked out onto a bed of roses. In the evening, they would sit on the balcony, dine on spicy chorizo sausage and drink sangiovese wine. At night, he would make love to her on linen sheets.* Though the Chorizo in Spain is not spicy, it is oh so good. And I look forward to enjoying that in a month when I go.

Nostalgia, humor, sadness, action this chapter had everthing but the romance, but that will come with Book III. This line gave me a chuckle...* She was cruel to them, but Spike considered they deserved it. Who papered their walls in white-dotted lilac anyway?* I completely agree with him.

Plus you are always making my heart bleed for William...* “Be sweet to me, pet. Love me a little while.”

And Drusilla did. But afterward, when sleep finally came, he dreamed of her, and when he woke up, his cheeks were stiff with dried tears.* It doesn't get more angsty than that.

I always enjoy how you take the time to add details that enrich your story, such as the different languages (along with translations thank you so much for that) and your vivid descriptions of the characters surroundings. I look forward to the next chapter to see what havoc Angelus will pour out on Spike and Dru.
lol. Now I'm jealous, AC. I've never had the pleasure of visiting Europe.

I had a few unhappy reviewers in regards to the Spike/Dru interaction, although this was mostly on ff.net. I'm really not seeing the issue some people have with it, since I think I've made it clear that his affections for her are not romantic. It's gratifying to know that my BSV readers understand the relationship between them and don't find it offensive. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave such a wonderful, detailed review.

05/20/2007 07:23 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
I loved the fight scene! And Rome through Spike's eyes, both the predator and the man. It was only a matter of time before Angelus caught up with them, wasn't it? This should be very interesting... I don't imagine Angelus will find Spike quite such an easy target after all his training with the slayer.

Fabulous chapter, my dear!
Thank you, Always. You know your opinion means a lot to me, so I'm glad you liked it.

You're right when you say Angelus won't find Spike an easy target. He's fought a Slayer and survived, if not won, the battles. That goes a long way in sharpening his skills.

Esther
05/20/2007 07:22 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Loved it!! Splendid way of showing how Spike gained a respect for fighting Slayers and how he became a great fighter. Ooh, and now the cliffy...I knew Angelus wouldn't leave them for long. Can't wait for more!
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to review!

05/20/2007 04:25 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Wonderful chapter, UB. Nice ending, too. Can't wait to see what Angelus might try to pull.
Poor Dru, she's miserable. Very nice interraction between Spike and the Slayer of that time. Can't wait to see more.
I'm glad you're still enjoying it. Thank you.

fanxstitch
05/20/2007 04:16 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Really enjoying your story. You're doing a wonderful job of creating a believeable background for Spike/William. I look forward to the next chapters.
Thank you, fanxstitch. I'm glad you liked it.

gdo
05/20/2007 03:37 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Um, translations please? Besides that, I like Spike thinking about "what ifs", of Elizabeth in Italy. I like him fighting Emiliana, though I don't know what to feel that he would fight with honor...that he wouldn't stab her in the back. Hope he gets over that, but anyway, it's your story and it's brilliant.
I added a translation link at the beginning of the chapter; I hope you found it and it helped you better understand the dialogue.

I have to disagree with you when you say Spike wouldn't fight with honor. Granted, there was often little honor in his skirmishes with his "Happy Meals on Legs" but when it came to Slayers, he didn't seemed to fight in anything but the most aboveboard manner. He even dropped his weapon when Buffy told him to in "School Hard" because he knew it gave him an unfair advantage and he wanted to prove to her his worth by defeating her unarmed.

It wasn't until he hired the hitman for Buffy (What's My Line) that I felt he was being underhanded or dishonorable. Also, keep in mind that in this chapter Spike is still very young, and that Emiliana is the first Slayer he comes into contact with. I think this makes a huge difference in how he interacts with her.

Thanks so much for the review. I appreciate hearing your opinions, even when I don't agree with them.

Cas
05/20/2007 03:34 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
So, we see the beginnings of the characters we know. Can't think Angelus's return will be to their benefit.
Well, I'm sure Angelus isn't altogether pleased with Spike. We'll just have to wait and see how it pans out. Thanks so much for the review!

05/20/2007 03:34 am
Chapter Thirty-Five         
Ah, yes....Angelus wouldn't let them stay away for long.

Excellent description of Spike's first Slayer adventure.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

LindsayH
06/08/2007 09:19 pm
Chapter Thirty-Four         
You wrote something in the first book, that Buffy was becoming the girl she had been before, pampered and well-taken care of. The cool juxtaposition of this story is that William is becoming the person he needs to be to fully answer to the Slayer and the girl both. That's just..neat!

Esther
05/20/2007 07:10 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
Fan-freaking-tastic!! Love how you slowly made the transition from William to Spike so believable, especially with the inclusion of what happened on the show. Sorry I didn't review sooner, but RL had me busy. I'm reading the next chapter now and can't wait to find out more. Great job!!
No problem. I know RL can get hectic, and I really appreciate your taking the time to review now. I've had some mixed feedback on this chapter (mostly from ff.net) but I love that most everyone on BSV seems to understand and enjoy the plot. Thanks for the feedback!

TwilightChild
05/14/2007 08:14 pm
Chapter Thirty-Four         
Another absolutely amazing chapter. I love your story. You make Spike and Drusilla into flesh and blood in a way that I've never seen before.
Thank you so much, TC! You know I respect your own abilities as a writer, and that makes your opinion all the more valuable to me.

05/08/2007 08:54 pm
Chapter Thirty-Four         
I'm starting to like Dru from your story. She's so sweet and poor and hurt and crazy and yet she's got those absolutely fantastic moments of lucidity. Good work, great chapter.
Thank you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

05/08/2007 05:10 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
very good read, thank you. that is spike at his best and darla being darla. loved it.
I'm glad you did. Thanks for the review.

Cas
05/08/2007 04:29 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
Loved how you filled in the dots on the mineshaft incident! And somewhat surprised that both Spike and Dru leave.
Thanks, Cas. I'm glad you liked it.

05/07/2007 11:06 pm
Chapter Thirty-Four         
This just gets better and better -- you're doing a brilliant job of Spike's history. Authentic.
Thank you, Lou. That is just what I've been striving for, so it's nice to know you think I'm succeeding.

05/07/2007 04:39 pm
Chapter Thirty-Four         
So glad to see an update!
Wondering if Angelus is going to eat a gypsy...If Spike will have more slayers under his belt than when he originally met Buffy.
SUCH a good story!
Thank you! I'm glad you like it.

05/07/2007 10:21 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
This just gets better and better. You have NAILED Spike IMHO. Even accounting for the differences caused by William having died knowing love this rings real for the character we saw onscreen. You have his conflicted "soul", the desire to do or die and not caring too much which it might be, to perfection.

Naturally Darla, crafty girl that she is (and BTW, your voices on all four are dead on)is baiting Spike with her information about the Slayer in Rome. She wants him gone...NOW.

Loved your added dialogue in the mine shaft. It was like just the right touch of seasoning and made that scene exactly right. You filled in the blanks beautifully.

I am so impressed with how skillfully you are telling this story. I find myself nodding as I read and thinking, "Yes, that's just how it was." Excellent.

Kathleen
I've been working hard to get into Spike's head (as well as the rest of them), so I'm so relieved you think I'm portraying them accurately. The Fanged Four are so much fun to write, I'm actually going to miss them once I hit Part III. Thanks for the review!

05/07/2007 06:45 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
They leave indefinitely? No house of pain? They miss the Gypsy soul curse? Oh, rats!

Oh, and don't know if you saw it, my comment on your TGiQ thread, but I think, judging how Angelus liked things in a certain, proper way, that he found Spike to be crass in comparison to William the Bloody, but probably conceded to Spike's wishes once he offed his first Slayer.
I did read your post, Scarlet. Thanks for your thoughts. I'm still on the fence about whether or not to include the Immortal in this story, but I have 14 years to go before he makes his appearance, so I guess I have plenty of time to figure it out, lol.

Thanks for the review.

05/07/2007 05:54 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
So sad this fearlessness was born from his pain. Love the rewrite, very well done. The timeline is moving along, hoping you will be visiting Buffy soon to see how she's handling this. So much to write about, can't wait. Thanks for the update.
Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you like it.

Leanne
05/07/2007 04:15 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
Love it, love it love it! This is such a great STORY - giving us some history that we know was there but never really thought about. A great fun read - can't wait to read more!
I'm so glad you do, Leanne. Thank you for taking the time to review it and let me know.

Carole
05/07/2007 04:08 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
You've painted a great picture of Spike at this point in time. Folly and bravery, protectiveness and selfishness, all pushing him forward to his "destiny". I've always loved Spike because he managed to transcend whatever role he was supposed to play and you write this wonderfully. I'm not sure that I agree with his views on Dru but I fully believe that he does. What a romantic he is. Even his first thoughts of the Slayer, which I adored, are poetic.

"No release from the hollow ache where something wonderful had resided and then been pulled away."

Lovely reference to both the soul and the love that was lost. Finding this chapter tonight was a treat! Thank you.
No matter how hard Spike tries to shed his William persona, there is always that little glimmer of it underneath the surface. His thoughts of the Slayer prove that. I'm glad you liked that scene. Thanks for the review.

Shanna
05/07/2007 03:56 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
I am waiting patiently for the Spuffy reunion but I am dearly enjoying Spike's journey. I may not review every chapter but always know that I read the chapters as soon as I notice that they are posted.
I appreciate whatever feedback you want to offer, Shanna. And the very fact you are following the story so closely is a great compliment. Thank you for letting me know.

kim
05/07/2007 03:33 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
Hmmm..well....is this a permanent leave of family, or just an extended trip? Quite interested in what canon you'll choose to stick to....

Great chapter!
Thank you!

Onyx
05/07/2007 03:18 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
Another brilliant chapter, I only wish it were longer, though that is only my eagerness to read MORE of the story; To find out what happens next.
Well, I consider that a compliment instead of a criticism then. Thanks for the review.

05/07/2007 02:48 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
OMG! I've been waiting all week for this! What a surprise to see you post tonight. Thought for sure it wouldn't arrive til' weeks end. What can I say that I haven't already said? You know how much I love this story. Again another fab chapter. I was so hoping you would integrate the mineshaft scene with this chapter. You never disappoint.

So many favorite bits in this chappy but these are my top three..

1.'The greatest of them all…'
2. “…but the ones that do are famous.” He smiled to himself at that.

Famous.
3. “The Slayer!”

“The Slayer,” he whispered back, grinning.

I can just see his, Darla's and Dru's faces in each of those scenes and you had me smiling with glee with the last... "The Slayer".

Btw, should have some banners for you to chose from this week. So look for them in your mail by week's end.
I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for taking the time to tell me so; your reviews make my day. Oh, and thanks again for putting the work into those banners. I can't tell you how flattered I am that you would volunteer to do that.

05/07/2007 02:40 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
That was tremendously exciting. Spike is totally out of his mind now - Elizabeth and all the old ways forgotten - nothing but evil ahead. Loved it.
Thank you. I'm so glad you did.

05/07/2007 02:35 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
You must know how the North London bit pleases me so. I'm curious about this Italian Slayer now. You don't seem to be going wildly off canon, so I don't think he'll kill her - but obviously she won't kill him, either. And it's interesting that they're going to Rome, in light of your forum post about TGIQ... Awesome update (as always)!
I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on the accent discussion, lol. Thanks for the review!

LadyYashka
05/07/2007 02:33 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
Nice look into Spike's head. You certainly explained why he understands Slayers. I was reading this and think of his line about every Slayer having a death wish. Spike knows this because he has that same death wish. Spike's not about to simply give up, and he'll take out as many people before he dies as possible, but a part of him still wants it to end.

I like how you used the lines from the episode. You even used my favorite line from that episode.

"Don’t you ever get tired of fights you know you’re going to win?”

I also like how you expanded on the scene. I could easily picture what you wrote actually happening.

I loved Darla as well. The evil woman was telling Spike about the Italian Slayer, just so he would go out and find her. I bet Darla is hoping the Slayer will kill Spike. I can't wait for Angelus' reaction when he finds out Spike and Dru have left.

Great update and I am always looking forward to the next.
That was one of my favorite lines, as well. I especially love the way JM delivered it ... very sexy, somehow. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks, as always, for reviewing.

05/07/2007 01:57 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
I like the way you've woven canon and speculation into the changing of William into Spike. I'm curious as to what Darla is up to--I've never seen her do anything without a purpose.
Oh, no. She had a good reason to send him to Rome. Mostly to get rid of him; he was being a thorn in her side, after all.

Thanks for the review!

05/07/2007 01:46 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
This fic continues to be one of the most captivating portrayals of William the Bloody, and his journey, that I have ever read. You climb right into his head and crack it wide open.
Thanks!

05/07/2007 01:46 am
Chapter Thirty-Four         
This fic continues to be one of the most captivating portrayals of William the Bloody, and his journey, that I have ever read. You climb right into his head and crack it wide open.
Thank you so much. How nice of you to say.

LindsayH
06/02/2007 05:03 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
Oh, yeah, Spike's stickin it to the man! Man, I hate Angel!
lol. I hate Angel, but I have to admit I have a soft spot for Angelus. He's a bastard, but he's fun to write.

Esther
05/03/2007 12:01 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
Hot damn, another fantabulous chapter!! WOW!! Love that William's grown into his own, although I'm gonna miss my William, but it's nice to see that he's not gonna take their crap anymore. Good for him. I'm also wondering how much his change will affect his feelings for Elizabeth cause it feels like he's starting to let her go. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I can't wait to find out!! Great job!!!
I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for taking the time to review.

I have to admit, I miss William, too. But since he's becoming Spike, I guess that eases the ache a little bit. I know that Elizabeth didn't seem to be on the forefront of his mind in this chapter (aside from the mention of her in regards to his forgiving Dru) but she is still very much in his thoughts. He's much too dogged in his passion to let her go so easily.

fanxstitch
04/29/2007 06:28 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
Thank you for another brilliant chapter. I'm loving your development of William as a vampire. Very well done.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

hellbound
04/29/2007 05:14 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
I think those last two lines are the funniest thing I've ever read. The whole chapter was wonderful but the end was absolutely histerical. I hope you write a few more chapters like this, its brilliant.
I'm so glad you think so. I laughed myself when I wrote that line ... it just sort of wrote itself. Spike's such a little scamp; "Daddy" is going to have a real time with this one...

04/29/2007 04:47 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
That's what sometimes happens when someone who has been so controlled for so long is driven to really cut loose. I don't think he would've done it nearly as quickly nor as completely had Angelus not driven him to it. I miss the William/Elizabeth interaction, but I'm enjoying the making of Spike very much.
Exactly. Angelus dug his own grave, so to speak, when he tried to control Spike by force. I know the Elizabeth/William interaction was fun, but I'm glad you're enjoying this, as well. And don't fear ... the romance isn't over yet. Thanks for the review.

04/29/2007 04:17 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
Wonderful chapter, as always.

I 'm really enjoying William's descent into evil as well as his suicidal attack on Scotland Yard. I don't understand how they would all recognize him at once. Wouldn't it be more likely that one specific person (the blacksmith maybe) would see him and realize who he was, then alert the others. A minor detail. Angelus is excellent, too.
Well, I have mentioned in previous chapters that William(now Spike) has become famous in London and that his pictures are all over the papers So, I don't think it's a far reach to say that he would be easily recognized.

I'm glad you liked the chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it, especially the Spike/Angelus interaction. Thanks for reviewing.

04/29/2007 04:01 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
Words fail me. I literally cannot find enough good things to say about this fic.

The characterizations are absolutely brilliant - dead on target. This look back at William/Spike's history is absolutely riveting. As others have said, you've made the events of the story seem so plausible, that it's easy to foreget that this isn't canon. But... I keep thinking that it ought to be. And Spike is coming into his full glory - daring, rebellious, defiant, attention-seeking and displaying some of the same death-wish that he eventually comes to see in the slayers he later seeks out to do battle with. Spike might be trying to leave William behind, but it's so easy to see that the remnants of William often, if subconsciously, motivate many of Spike's actions.

Angelus has his hands full. He doesn't have clus as to how to handle Spike. And he's clearly frustrated, torn between his need to keep his "family" safe and his need to control Spike's outrageous behaviot. I think part of his cruelty towards Spike stems from his frusrtation. Angelus is clearly a control freak, and Spike won't be controlled. It's clear they're going to butt heads furiously and often.

I can't wait to see how you detail the rest of William the Bloody's history. I'm sure it's not going to pretty at times, but I'm sure it's going to be fascinating.

What a nice review, HPfan. I love it when people take the time to break down what they enjoyed in the chapter.

I'm so glad you picked up on the Angelus/William(Spike) dynamic. I do feel that Angelus has a genuine affection for Spike, but he doesn't want to give up his control. His first attempt at domination wasn't very successful, and I think he's starting to learn that, as you said, he has his hands full. A good way to sum up Spike at this point is he's mad as hell and he isn't going to take it anymore. And since he's found his pleasure in the "fist and fangs" style of fighting, I'm sure he will continue to be a thorn in Angelus' side. I'm glad you enjoyed their interaction and thanks for taking the time to tell me so!

veronica
04/29/2007 03:16 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
my favorite story just keeps getting better and better... please keep those chapters coming!
Thank you so much. I'm glad you like it.

I'm going to start on chapter 34 tomorrow, so hopefully it won't be long before an update.

04/29/2007 12:23 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
So well written. The characters are so true - and William's harsh lessons really have made him a dark knight.
Thank you.

04/28/2007 11:44 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
It's fitting that William should adopt a name coined by the newspapers. We are all named by others, whether at birth or with a nickname that fits our personalities. I also love how, even though Spike now sees himself as different from William, he still opens doors and pulls out chairs for ladies. You can vamp the gentleman, but you can't take the gentleman out of the vamp

I also like how you've woven your tale into the events of the canon: the wedding were Angelus crushed the priest's head like a melon, William's drawing attention to himself in the public eye, Angelus trying to control him. You fill in blanks almost so seamlessly that I barely remember that these things didn't happen the canon, and I start to think that maybe they should have

One thing I noticed about the episode "Crush" was how Spike tried to open the door for Buffy when she was storming out of the warehouse. That seemed like such a "William" thing to do. In fact, he seemed like William a lot during that episode. So, I completely agree, he's cultivating his new self, but he isn't able to completely shed his old one.

I'm glad you like what I'm trying to do. I've had some people complaining (on other sites) about William/Spike being an unsympathetic character, but I don't see him that way at all. I'm just trying to write it the way it was ... which is not all rainbows and sunshine.

Thanks for the review!

04/28/2007 09:05 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
What a completely BRILLIANT chapter!!!! My God, you have written William/Spike PERFECTLY! His bravado, his genuine not caring about the end result only in the pure exhiliration of going fist and fang in a fight he may or may not win! This is inspired, hon.

Eager for more.

Kathleen
Thank you so much! I'm so pleased you like it. William/Spike and Angelus are a lot of fun to write, even when they're misbehaving. But this was my favorite chapter of Part II (so far) because it showed that William was down and not out. He's far to resileant to be bullied by his grandsire.

04/28/2007 08:36 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
fantastic chapter. dark, evil and funny. thank you
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.

Carole
04/28/2007 07:32 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
This has got to be one of my favorite chapters. I loved it. So Angelus' anger wasn't enough punishment? I'm guessing the next level was suicide by angry mob while strengthening his feared reputation was the way to go. But he survives which means ever more mayhem and fights to seek out, onwards and upwards! As Spike, not William, because William doesn't deserve it, does he? Interesting that his feelings for Elizabeth are why he rationalizes his kindness to Dru. That's still William.
I laughed at the end. Angelus sounds like a parent who has just gotten another call from the principal. "Your son's been acting up again." Time to threaten him with something, or someone, else. Lovely work.
That's the very vibe I've been getting from Angelus. I think he genuinely likes Spike, but he wants to keep him in his "place." His attempt at domination had the opposite effect, because now Spike is determined not only to disobey, but to be a thorn in Angelus' side, as well. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for taking the time to tell me so.

04/28/2007 07:02 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
I don't know why, but the end of this chapter made me laugh out loud. I could so perfectly see the outrageous look on Angelus' face! And once again I'm struck with the notion that this is just exactly the way it all happened. Already I'm imagining that Angelus leads his family to the luxury of a mine shaft, and he first fills William's--no, Spike's--head with thoughts of the Slayer. I can so easily picture his life leading up to the Boxer Rebellion and his first Slayer kill, perhaps in this reality it's when he finally allows himself to love Drusilla, and for the next century they continue living and loving their lives of blood and mayhem, fist and fang. Until he meets another Slayer, in another time...
Gah, I'm just squirming for more!
I laughed when I wrote it, Coquine. I'm glad you had the same reaction.

Mrs X
04/28/2007 06:27 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
I don't have words...but I'll try anyway. Fantastic chapter! I didn't think it was possible, but you make me ache for and love Spike even more than I already did. The way you paint the picture is completely believable and it's painfully beautiful.
Thank you so much, Mrs X. You have no idea how happy your review makes me.

Onyx
04/28/2007 05:43 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
HAH! I loved this chapter, it was all very dark, and surprisingly (despite circumstances of murder and evil) FUNNY!
I had a lot of fun writing it, so I'm not surprised it came across as funny. I thought you'd like it, Onyx. You're like me, you can take the dark chapters as well as the light. Thanks for the review!

04/28/2007 02:01 pm
Chapter Thirty-Three         
*Bow's down to you* Another brilliant one UB. I love evil Spike Love all the mayhem he is creating and the mental frustration it brings Angelus, is just the icing on the cake for me.

Oh, and I finally started on the banner. Had to finish up a few other projects but now I'm all over it.
That is so nice of you, AC. Thanks for taking the time to make the banner.

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I love Angelus, but I love Spike much more, so it's a lot of fun to write Spike tormenting his former "teacher." I'm glad you liked reading it. Thanks for the review.

04/28/2007 11:12 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
Great chapter, you explained very well how William had become Spike.
Thank you!

04/28/2007 09:00 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
That last line was great!

I love this chapter! It was just so Spike. I could practically see the smirk on Spike's face.

Wonderful update!
That's the very image I had in my mind when I wrote it. Thanks for the review.

kim
04/28/2007 08:53 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
LOL....I love that William has surprised Angelus...he really didn't think the boy would go this far...had no idea what they'd really taken in. Oh, you're building these up perfectly to lead up to various scenes we saw in canon. They'll be hiding down the mine, next...and we'll get mention of the Slayer. And William will have a new goal....
I'm definitely working to weave the canon events with my own plotline, so the mine shaft is not too far away for them. Thanks for the review.

04/28/2007 08:32 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
OMG, I am totally in love with the chapter. I enjoyed the enteraction with Spike and Drusilla, and how he refused to let Angelus break him. You have a knack for bring the past to life, and I'm enjoying this walk-through of Spike's past and how he became as we know him. Looking forward to more.
Thank you so much, GB. I'm really working to maintain a realism to the chapters, so your review just made my day.

04/28/2007 08:00 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
How great is it that you've got me cheering for him?
I mean, that last line inspired me to actually pump my damn fist in the air. What I'm trying to say is, wherever you're going, you've got me along for the ride 100%.
Excellent storytelling.
lol. It was definitely meant to be an empowering chapter, so I love your reaction to it! I'm so proud of William (now Spike). He's a resileant (albeit evil) boy. Thanks for the review!

04/28/2007 07:58 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
He's being a real pain isn't he. Got to be his own man. I love it that he still is in love with Elizabeth and Dru holds very little of him. Excellent update, thanks
Yeah. He's protective of Dru, and affectionate of her, but he isn't in love with her in the least. I'm glad you picked up on that. He's not going to forget Buffy(Elizabeth) no matter how badly he might behave. Thanks for the review.

04/28/2007 07:48 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
lol! Part of that just seemed hilarious to me. Loved the big fights, and loved the way that William picked them. You express each character beautifully, and make Spike and Drusilla into the most darling and twisted sweathearts.
Thank you so much. I know some people were disappointed to see that Spike/William is showing affection for Dru. He isn't "in love" with her, but I really don't think he could live with her and sleep with her without feeling something. And I definitely wanted to portray the protectiveness of her that we saw on the show. It was one of the things that kept him from being a pure "villian." Thanks for the review.

04/28/2007 07:42 am
Chapter Thirty-Three         
LOL...I do so love it when Spike pushes Angelus' buttons! Loved the chapter. Thank you!
Thanks. I have to admit I got an evil little kick out of this chapter. I have a great affection for the boys when they were "bad."

killer angel
03/14/2008 05:24 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
this transition from william to spike is phenomenal!  absolutely believable and so well done.  it's funny because on the one hand it's almost heartbreaking to see what's happening to william, but on the other hand it makes me so happy to see the beginnings of spike.
Thank you! I got a lot of negative feedback for part two, so it is really wonderful to know that you're enjoying it. I hope you continue to do so.

LindsayH
06/02/2007 04:58 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
I have often thought the cannon idea of a demon possessing and reanimating the body of the dead to be slightly naive and simplistic. Just because a demon has one's memories doesn't mean it would also have one's characteristics--see Fred/Illyria, for instance. It seemed that it was the trauma of dying, arising, and adapting in a vampiric family to be the catalyst for such incredible change, along with the awakening of the id or "demon." But you put it so much better than I do through William's evolution! And I have to say, I think this is the best understanding of the Angelus/Spike relationship that I've read.
Yeah, I never liked that simplistic explanation of vampires. It was silly and very B-movie. They did it to give Angel an easy out for his crimes in season two, of course. Maybe that's why Angel irritates me so much. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for letting me know.

04/28/2007 06:56 pm
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Dammit, with all my recent computer problems I missed an update! And what a chapter it was, too. It's funny, but with each passing chapter, even though this reality is slightly different from canon, I keep thinking to myself, "This is how it really happened." You're continuing with your own story while at the same time filling in all those blanks on how William became Spike. I don't care what difference Elizabeth may or may not have made, more and more I'm seeing this story as a history lesson. Gah, I could go on and one, but I've got another chapter to read!
That is such a flattering thing to say! I really want to make this story mesh well with the canon of the show, and I'm so glad to hear I'm succeeding. Thanks for letting me know how you feel. I hope you like the next chapter as well.

Esther
04/27/2007 08:33 pm
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Eep, I just realized that I left my long review on the wrong chapter!! *smacks forehead* Sorry, hon!! Loved it---finally caught up after having major ISP probs---and can't wait for more.
lol. No problem. I appreciate both reviews.

04/22/2007 11:11 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Guh, bad Angelus, though I still love him. Now, my question is. Was that the one time Spiek mentions in As5?

Will Angelus continue his assult on Spike or is he finished? I love seeing how William turned into Spike and the events that molded him.
I'm glad you liked it. Thank you.

04/21/2007 05:34 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Oh My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I totally loved it, poor William, Angelus is a sadistic bastard and makes me sick , so it was very well witten
I loved "I don’t have to do what you say, anymore." wowwwwwwww
Lets see what William will do
Hope we hear of Buffy soon
I'm glad you liked it, Karla. Thanks so much for taking the time to review.

04/21/2007 02:23 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Every chapter is a candy drop on my tongue, making my mouth water for more. Approaching the second paragraph I became aware, or at least hoped that this was going to be the public announcement of 'Spike'. Glad you didn't disappoint. But then you never do. No pressure intended.

*His name was William the Bloody; his name was the Railway Killer; his name was Spike. The papers coined these epithets, and he struggled to create a persona worthy of them.*

Didn't know how you were going to go about explaining how his name came about but I love the simplicity of it. I love your scope of imagination, the eloquent usage of your words, and more importantly as shown here in this chapter your delicate handling of a graphic scene.

I'm enjoying every bit of his transformation. As he tries new things to reinvent himself, or to live up to his nicknames. i.e. the cigaretts, which of course is an embracing of rebellion against Angelus. I love his cocky confidence as well.

*Stupid as it was, given the situation, William felt a certain rush of pride, reading that. Front page, too. His conceit made him reckless, and he pushed the paper away coolly. “Jealous?”*

Heh, I just love Spike.

*He cradled his hatred to him like a foundling, and in his mind was the searing, singular thought—

I don’t have to do what you say, anymore*

Even though, this made my heart bleed for him..I love his inner strength rising forth there at the end. Another thing I loved about him no matter how beaten down he was, he never quit. He just got back up and kept moving forward. What a Hero.

Keep it up girl, your amazing!

Thank you so much, AC! I always love reading your feedback, and I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy the story.

04/20/2007 01:17 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Damned if this doesn't read realistic! His making the name for himself was perfectly laid out and the seeds of his hatred for Angelus planted. I love this view of Spike for all its horror and pathos (still not wishing his Elizabeth sullied by even having her name uttered by Angelus!). Wonderful, just wonderful and reads true.

Kathleen
That is the best compliment I could ask for: realism. Thank you!

Mrs X
04/19/2007 09:46 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
I really like this story and I'm growing more fond of it the more I read. I'm not favourable to silly fluff, so this is my kind of story; dark-ish, but not depressing.

The understanding of how William evolved into Spike is so important and interesting. Also very fascinating is the description of Victorian England, which of course is pivotal in understanding William/Spike.
I'm glad you like it, Mrs X. I love romance, but not fluff. And I have to admit I'm really enjoying studying the darker aspects of vampiric nature. I'm glad you're enjoying reading about it. Thanks for the review.

04/19/2007 07:01 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
The way you're handling this, it's really quite lovely. Ok, strange phrase for a chapter containing mutilations with hardware and forced sodomy, but I mean the care you're paying to the transformation from sweet William into Spike.
This story is being told with such depth and detail, it's just really exciting to read each painful installment.
lol. I absolutely love the way you worded that about the strange phrase. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and thanks so much for reviewing.

04/19/2007 05:12 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Wow! That was an absolutely riveting, powerfully written scene. I haven't read any other story that painted such a vivid picture of the beginnings of the antipathy/hatred between Spike and Angelus. The fact that Spike had to a certain extent bonded with Angel - almost like a small boy in the throes of hero-worship - makes his intense hatred of Angelus now just that much more believable. I love the way you're showing us how William is slowly crafting his Spike persona, molding himself into this defiant, violent, recklessly independent being. And yet, we see glimpses of William in his distaste for indescriminate torture and his desire not to sully his "pure" memory of Elizabeth. This fic is bloody brilliant. You've got me hanging one every word.
Thank you so much, HPfan. Your review just made my day.

04/19/2007 04:53 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
The whole warped family is very much in character, and I can see Spike emerging from William under the disapproving eyes of Angelus and Darla.
Thanks.

04/19/2007 04:41 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
"I don’t have to do what you say, anymore." knowledge is born. spike understands the great poof more than angelus, himself, does. (i'm not sure of that usage.) decades of hate begin. wonderful update, thank you.
Thanks for the review. I really appreciate the feedback.

04/19/2007 03:36 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Love it, love it, love it. You bring their time together to life in a way I've never seen before. I love the depth you're giving to the story. Can't wait to read more.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

04/19/2007 03:25 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
I don't know why, but I really got a kick out of William "aping Drusilla's Cockney accent."

Anyway, I really liked the way you handled the rape - not graphic, but with enough well-placed details to give us a vivid picture. And while I see the Spike shining through in that last line, I doubt Angelus will take it very well when William stops doing what he says. Won't go well for our boy, I suspect. Great update, UB!
William's accent will be topic for discussion in a subsequent chapter, Eowyn, and I think you really will laugh when it comes up again.

Thanks for the review!

04/19/2007 03:24 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Just when I think this story can't get any better, the next chapter is better than the last. I'm thoroughly enjoying our boy's transformation. William's slowly going against everything that he was as a human. He's changed his style of dress, but still hasn't changed it completely. He's taken up smoking cigarettes, and part of that seems to be a bit of rebellion against Angelus. William's developing his own sense of self as a vampire. He no longer completely follows Angelus' example, deciding that torture isn't his style. He's finding his own niche. He's also leaving parts of his human self behind, including his mother. The only thing he holds onto is his love for Elizabeth.

I find William's attraction to the lime light very interesting. He was never noticed when he was human, except when others mocked and ridiculed him. Now, those same people are reading about him in the newspapers, fearing him, finally giving him attention. He's relishing the publicity, going so far as to leave a railroad spike calling card so that everyone knows that "Spike was here." Bad press is better than no press

As for Angelus raping William...Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. Angelus is the very definition of control freak, and he'd do anything to get someone to submit to him.

"He cradled his hatred to him like a foundling" I love that line! Likening his hatred to an orphaned little infant, now found in hating Angelus. I can see him holding the hatred close to his chest, nurturing it like a babe. Great image.
Thanks so much, IB. I'm glad you liked the chapter.

I always saw Spike's behavior on BtVS as very attention-seeking...like a little kid who bugs his elders just so they'll pay attention to him. Once we caught a glimpse of William's life, I could understand why Spike would be that way. You're right, he's never been noticed with anything except contempt by his peers. Now, all of a sudden, he's important to the eyes of London, and he relishes that. "Bad press is better than no press" definitely sums it up!

Onyx
04/19/2007 03:23 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
YES MA'AM.....I am sure some people are goin to gripe about this turn of events, but I find all of it to be very profoundly vampiric. You seem to have gotten into the minds of each of the characters, and you express their actions like someone who is watching from above the room.
lol. I knew I could count on you to understand, Onyx. Vampires definitely aren't "big fluffy puppies with bad teeth" and I don't want to portray them that way. Fortunately, most reviewers have been really supportive for the chapter...I think I've already scared all the squeamish ones away!

04/19/2007 03:11 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Wow, UB that was intense - Loved William - Maybe you'd better put a warning on this one for the squeamish. The newspaper stuff is terrific.
I'm not sure what you mean, Spikez_tart. There has been a warning for violence, torture, and rape in every chapter since Part II began.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter. Intense was definitely what I was going for, so I'm glad to hear that I made it. Thanks for the review.

LadyYashka
04/19/2007 02:44 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
If Angelus thought this would gain him control of Spike, he was very very wrong. Now Spike doesn't see Angelus as the "God-like" being he did before, and on top of everything else, there is now hate.

I get the feeling all hell is about to break loose.

Wonderful update!
As usual, your feelings are spot on, Lady. Thanks for the review.

04/19/2007 02:34 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
wow - what IS william Becoming? This is a wonderful journet - I can't wait to see what is going on in Sunnydale. I'm SO not trying to get you to time-jump - the suspense is wonderful, and continues to build with every chapter.
Beautifully crafted.
lol. Eh, tell me to time jump all you want, I'm still not going to do it.

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the story.

04/19/2007 01:51 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Very powerful chapter, my dear!

And thus begins their rivalry... and with that last line a little more of the William he was is stripped away, and a little more of the Spike he will become shows its face.

Well done, you handled a difficult subject matter very well.
Thanks, Always. You know how much your opinion means to me. I really appreciate the review.

kim
04/19/2007 01:43 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
And Spike is *really* born....
Getting there, at least.

04/19/2007 12:37 am
Chapter Thirty-Two         
A fantastic read -- it's all too understandable how and why sweet William became William the Bloody. He needs to use his head if he's going to outwit the brute!
Exactly. William (soon to be Spike) needs cunning, more than brawn. Luckily, he has that in spades.

Thanks for the review.

Carole
04/18/2007 09:47 pm
Chapter Thirty-Two         
The last line reminded me of Poe's "The Raven" and that other tale of love lost, guilt and obsession. If William no longer exists then his losses shouldn't hurt anymore. I think he wants it to hurt though. His penance for his mom and for letting Elizabeth go. Did he want to anger Angelus? He had to decide if being a psychopath was his boundary or his destination. Which means that he's already stronger than the others. I just want to say that I am having so much fun with this story! It's a real pleasure to find updates. Thanks again.
"Did he want to anger Angelus?"

...very, very astute observation, Carole. I'll be delving into that more deeply in following chapters. I'm really impressed how easily you picked up on it.

Thanks for the review!

04/18/2007 09:24 pm
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Great, absolutely fantastic. You are very convincing in potraying your characters and for this I love and read your work.
Thank you so much!

04/18/2007 09:14 pm
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Hatred? Hmm... surely he'll get over it (perhaps that was a crazy question, however, I do agree with the hatred, though IMHO, it wars with some kind of... admiration? Affection? That goes both ways between the two of them). Lovely update, and I can't see what Spike will do next.

And website? Where?
Two things to keep in mind about the hatred, Scarlet Ibis. One is that the timeline has been altered by Buffy, so things might not be as they always were on the show (as in the case of William's more ambivilent feelings toward Dru). The second thing to keep in mind is that this was William's stream of consciousness immediately following the attack. Seething hatred is pretty much all anyone would feel after going through something similar. Those feelings may change, over time, or they may not. You'll just have to read to find out.

Thanks so much for the review!

04/18/2007 08:16 pm
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Our poor William, what's he going to do now? Hate to watch him as he lets his demon take over more and more. Now he knows exactly what Angelus is. Our poor sweet William.

I couldn't believe it when I saw your update, I'd just been to your website to see if you've updated yet, but you still have only chapter ten there. It was just my luck that you've updated, thanks Cam, love this story.
Yeah, I'm getting behind pretty much everywhere, lol. But BSV and SR get the updates first, so as long as you check here, you'll know you've gotten the latest. Thanks for the review!

Deb
04/18/2007 08:13 pm
Chapter Thirty-Two         
Difficult scene that you handled with enough detail to advise and emotion to understand Spike's defiant attitude in response to this defiling moment. I really feel like your writing captures the vision of setting and movement. Really brings the story to life. Love it all.
Thanks so much, Deb. I'm glad you like it.

LindsayH
06/02/2007 04:47 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
I laughed, and then I cried. His book! I'd have staked 'em all, just saying. Absolutely pitch-perfect chapter!
What wonderful praise. Thank you!

04/19/2007 03:44 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
poor william growing into spike and fighting every step. just like spike will fight going back to be william. very good read, thank you.
Thank you for reviewing!

04/15/2007 12:01 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Brilliant! Bloody freaking brilliant! The entire chapter is gripping and poignant and thought-provoking. I don't even know where to begin. So, I guess I'll just have to start at the beginning and work my way down. This could get lengthy

The Anvil Chorus: I can just picture William tapping happily on his spike with a clink-clink sound punctuating his words. Drusilla giggling on the bed is a nice touch, as was William’s wink. You've done a good job incorporating the music and literature with which someone in William's station and time might have been familiar, and the pieces and quotes add a deeper level of meaning to story. Like in the "Song of Haiawatha.” I read the complete passage that you had quoted in a previous chapter, and found out that Shawondasee’s maid with yellow tresses turns out to be not a woman, but a dandelion. It made me think of how William was always afraid that his Elizabeth was an illusion, that his time with her was a figment of his imagination.

William’s drinking: This is completely in character for both canon Spike and FtTP William. Spike was always one to self-medicate with alcohol. William is dulling the pain of loosing Elizabeth, and also loosening his inhibitions (if he still has any) of torturing and mouthing off to Angelus.

Mouthing off to Angelus: Love it. William is acting like a petulant child trying to get big brother’s attention: “He used to play with me all the time, but now that he has a new girlfriend, he hardly notices that I exist” :pout: William’s testing his boundaries, and taking whatever kind of attention—good or bad—that he can get.

The newspaper publicity: As I’ve said before, parts of FtTP could easily have been inserted into the canon without anyone noticing a difference. This completely coincides with Angelus always getting angry with William drawing attention to the Fanged Four. I can understand that Angelus would want to remain under the humans’ radar, but I also kind of get the feeling that he’s a bit green with envy: “I took him under my wing, taught him everything he knows about hunting. And now he’s doing things his own way...I never got headlines in the papers.” :pout: But when Angelus sees William upset, he gives him pep talk. I love it

Castrating Havisham: hehehe. He may not be in love with Drusilla, but he doesn’t want her playing with another man’s manly bits

Drusilla destroying the book: Allow me applaud your use of symbolism. Drusilla destroyed William’s humanity in the literal sense, and now she’s destroyed it in the figurative sense. His love for Elizabeth is his last tie to the human world, and that book was his last tie to Elizabeth. He still has her ring, but was never really hers since Buffy left before he gave it to her. To William, the book represented his past with Elizabeth. The ring was a symbol of their future together, but now William believes that they have no future together. We, of course, know differently

“Who am I, really?”: That’s the million dollar question, and what I presume will be the theme for the rest of Part Deux. This could also be inserted into the canon to explain why William created the persona of Spike, a vampire/human hybrid with a bloodlust, a yen for violence, and an attraction to human things like love, apples, and opera 
Yay! You read the Song of Hiawatha and got the rest of the reference. I also used the dandelion symbolism twice more in the story. Once when Buffy rejected William's proposal, and then again during William's dream. I was hoping someone would catch on to that!

Thanks so much for the review!

Dee
04/14/2007 03:11 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
You are writing William the vampire to well. I have really enoyed these last four chapters. Looking forward to the third part when Spike is reunited with Buffy. I am looking forward to where you take this story.
I'm so glad you like it. Thank you.

selene
04/13/2007 01:47 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
This story is wonderful. I really enjoyed reading it and look forward to the next chapter. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reviewing. It really makes my day to hear that people like something I've written.

04/12/2007 03:08 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
can't wait for your next update.
I'm glad. Thank you!

04/12/2007 04:46 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Okay, now I've read it. Twice. And I gotta say- Wow! You've done such a good job capturing Spike, and William too.

This puts a whole new spin on why Spike could never seem to kill Buffy. Maybe he thought he was seeing a ghost?

Now I can't wait for more... soon please?
Thank you for the review. I'm so glad you like it.

hellbound
04/12/2007 01:25 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Yay update! Double yay, good update! This fic just keeps getting better. Yay.
The way you show William's slide into the dark is really well done. Its interesting to see how you fit parts of William into the demon's brutality and come up with Spike in a way thats believable, that doesn't ignore the reality of violence inherent in vampirism. I liked the way you emphasized his loss of humanity with Dru's book destruction and again with Angelous' little speech, and finally with the lack of reflection. It shows we're finally dealing with the demon who will kill slayers and not the man who's heart was broken.
Thanks so much for the review!

04/11/2007 08:08 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
Sometimes I just want Angelous to just die. He is trying to make a point and I understand that, but that book was the really LAST thing he had from his life.
I think Angelus thought he was helping, but you're right. It was just salt in the wound for poor William. Thanks for the review!

04/11/2007 10:58 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Interesting read. William's gradual transformation into Spike is really well represted, very in-character. (ref toa/n chap 1: William's official lastname is Pratt? I didn't know that) ---Name Game
Yeah. Joss named him Pratt in one of the comic books, so that is supposed to make it canon. I have my doubts about the validity of this, though.

Thanks for the review!

04/11/2007 05:29 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
I almost do a happy dance everytime I see an update for this story. It's such a fascinating look at the journey that takes us from human William to vampire Spike. I think what I find most intriguing is how you've shown us just how much Spike there was in human William and just how much of the human William still remains in Spike. I love the ending to this chapter where you show us the vampire grappling with his sense of self. This fic is truly a gripping character study. I think that by the time Spike arrived in good ol' Sunnyhell, the demon and the human were so intermingled that they really couldn't be separated into two independent personalities. I think that's part of what makes Spike such an intriguing character - much more so than Angel. Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much I'm enjoying this story. I'm eagerly looking forward to the next update.
What a sweet thing to say, HPfan. I'm glad you like it.

04/11/2007 04:35 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Great chapter UB. And what's happening with dear Buffy - she should be pretty miserable right about now.
Thanks. I'm glad you like it.

Carole
04/11/2007 04:31 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
So good! I love Angelus, the perverse mentor, pointing out the truths to William. And Dru hoping to draw William down to her, out of the clouds, needing more. The drinking, the peevishness that
Angelus was not paying enough attention to him and a Spike head tilt? Love all these bits and pieces coming together.

“Oh, yes?” Angelus smirked. “Then tell me this, my lad. If your girl saw you now…if she saw what you’ve done in her absence…would she still love you?”

Well I hope so! In the meantime, I look forward to reading every single chapter.
I'm glad you like it. Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me so.

04/11/2007 04:25 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
This is a very interesting subject to explore - how Spike got to be who he was between his death and the time he met Buffy as a slayer. I've enjoyed reading it immensly - can't wait to read more!
I'm glad you like it, thank you.

04/11/2007 04:12 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Ah, what a pleasure to read, my dear. Those fools at SR have no idea what they're talking about. William's slow evolution into Spike is so gripping as we see what elements of his former self he retains and what others are stripped away by the malevolent influence of Angelus. Personally, I never mind a spot of well written violence and the emotions behind it, the pain, are so evocative and run so deep in William. It's interesting to see Buffy slowly fade into a "happy memory" (as Dru would say) as the small articles of her existence are slowly snuffed out. Please do go on. I wait with bated breath.
Thanks so much, CoC. I appreciate the review.

04/11/2007 03:52 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
OMG! First off I can't believe I missed Chap. 30. Guess that is what happens when your on Spring Break. But on the plus side I had two chapters to read! Not joking when I say I was squealing with joy..well maybe a bit of a scream in there too. Seriously I'm so hooked on this fic, I feel like all those tweens and teens out there who are eagerly awaiting the next Harry Potter book.

Alright enough with the gushing, on to what I have to say on this chapter (I'll go back and comment on chapter 30 as well, later) I didn't recognize the song right off so I went to listen to it as I read. Thanks so much for that addition, it completed the mood. Perfect choice, now that I realize which tune it is. *LMAO* just as they get to the 'banging' noise in the song I read the first line and could just see him in my minds eye. When you have him bellow out the end of the song I laughed in glee at his rebeliousness. Not too mention this line...“If you don’t like this melody, I am open to suggestions.” *lol* Those paragraphs were so deliciously descriptive. I could see Angelus' influence in every stroke of the mallet and the emergence of 'Spike' rising forth. I shouldn't have enjoyed the evilness of it all but you wrote it so well.

Also I loved how you reminded me of Angelus' accent with the ..Oh, Jaysus, William.".. But even more profound was how he addressed the fact of how Elizabeth would not love what or who he had become. Which is exactly what I had been thinking of while I was reading his torture of David Havisham.

Again another incredible chapter, God bless your muse!
I'm glad you liked the song. And you're right. William, in his transition, is acting something like a rebellious teenager. He's testing his boundaries with Angelus. We'll just have to wait and see if Angelus pushes back. Thanks for the review!

04/10/2007 10:18 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
Love it. Very disturbing. You almost want to start thinking of Spike as nothing more than a monster, until he shows his pain and the many layers of his love and hate.
William/Spike is not just your run of the mill monster, that's for sure. Thanks for the review!

04/10/2007 09:22 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
I was so sure that the book would make it into the present. I do hope the ring does.
So interesting watching William turning into Spike. You are doing beautifully.
Well, now. You can't be sure of anything in life, can you?

Thanks for the review!

Lou
04/10/2007 09:05 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
Another excellent chapter -- poor William's transformation into Spike is well on its way.
Thanks.

bynee
04/10/2007 04:48 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
Ijust love the way you personify spike.....layers n layers of paradox
Thank you. I appreciate the review.

04/10/2007 04:02 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
I love this chapter. I shows how different William is from other vampires... Great work here!
Thank you. I'm glad you like it!

04/10/2007 01:43 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
And Spike is born...Another wonderful look at how William became a contributing member of the Scourge of Europe, sweetie. Good job!
Thanks.

04/10/2007 01:06 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
lol last chapter he was eating an apple, this chapter he's reading poetry.... lol he's not very good at being a vampire is he hahaha the vengeance against archer and what-sis-face kind of made up for it tho I guess.. great update!! You've got me absolutely hooked on this story, can't wait to read more
I'm glad to hear it. Thanks for the review.

04/10/2007 12:39 pm
Chapter Thirty-One         
How terribly sad! Hope this Spike is as smart as the one in canon to realize what tripe the whole nonsense is that William is gone entirely!

Very visual...the murders and Dru's demented cutting up of her "rival"......so very well written.

Kathleen
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

LadyYashka
04/10/2007 10:46 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
I feel bad for William. He no longer has his book. I actually hated Dru when William found her with his book.

And now he's not sure who he is anymore. Even after his turning he thought of himself as William, and then Angelus had to change that.

And finally, this was a wonderful update. The song was the perfect background music for the torture scene.
I'm glad you liked it. As always, thanks for the review.

kim
04/10/2007 09:30 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
The book....!!!!! Oh, no.....!

Angelus' lessons continue to be interesting. A contrast compared to how he was after the soul.

And how true, that Spike could never hurt Dru unless it was absolutely necessary, or if she asked him to.

Poor, poor William......
Thanks for the review, kim. As always, I appreciate it.

04/10/2007 07:30 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
I remembered the thrall, but I'd forgotten about Dru's sight. His book didn't have a chance once she had a chance at it. Looking forward to more insight on the making of Spike the vampire out of William the poet.
I'm glad you like it. Thanks.

04/10/2007 07:19 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
The Anvil Chorus is on youtube? Wow, a very appropriate tune, I can see him striking the spike as he sang the song. Hope Dru does find the ring too! He may need to put it some where for safe keeping. Just because Angelus doesn't feel that way about it does mean that all vamps would. Poor William, he still has human emotions even without a soul. Great work, thanks for the update.
There's a video clip of it being played on youtube; I couldn't figure out any other way to let my readers hear it. I'm glad you liked the song; it was the first one that came to mind, when the scene of William singing during torture, came to me. Thanks for the review.

Deb
04/10/2007 07:10 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Brilliant chapter.
Thank you so much!

Onyx
04/10/2007 07:09 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
Such PAAAIN!!!!!!! >_<
I love this story more every chapter. It is one of the most brilliant things I have ever read.
Ah, you revel in my angst. Admit it.

04/10/2007 06:39 am
Chapter Thirty-One         
You already know I love this chapter, I just had to make it official. Fabulous work, my dear...as always. I just love your William and his progress towards becoming the Spike we all know and fear/love.
Thanks, Always. I really appreciate that -- and all the help you gave me.

Mesh
11/12/2009 07:50 pm
Chapter Thirty         
did they say "fuck" in victorian england?
Yes, they did. The word "fuck" has been around for centuries and first appeared in a dictionary in 1775, although most dictionaries did not include it until the 1960's.

LindsayH
06/01/2007 10:42 pm
Chapter Thirty         
And now we've met Spike.
It was inevitable. Not that anyone ever complains when Spike comes on the scene.

04/11/2007 04:41 am
Chapter Thirty         
This chapter is the most compelling one yet.

I love how you understand each of these characters so well, and write them true to form. Darla rings so true. I so appreciate how you are taking your time and developing each character with the love and care that they deserve. Not too mention your knowledge of history. I love a writer who does their research and writes accurately, even if it is for fanfiction.

Now bare with me as I do something here that I only do when I truly love a story and its content. A review of my favorite parts of the chapter..

'It seemed like a century since he’d last held her.' I love the irony here. Especially since it will be a just over a century before he does see or even get to touch her again.

'Most days, he could block Elizabeth from his mind, if he gave it much effort.' This one little line means so much because it shows me the decision he will have to make to finally become 'Spike'.

The following paragraphs are so wonderfully written I could quote it all but won't weary you.

I love what Immortal Beloved had to say in reference to William's penchant for killing blonds. I've been wondering since the beginning how this would all play out when he sees her for the first time. Him wanting to kill her because she looks like his long lost love could be a way to go. I can't wait to see what way you go with it.

The fading velvet...the ring that won't fit on his last finger and this..“You were mine,” he whispered to it. He closed his eyes, summoned her image as easily as if he were looking at a photograph. He told her: “You were mine.” Is there anything more sad and tragic than this?

But by far my most favorite line in this chapter was..


“A quick stop by the railway station,” he replied. “I have some…poetic justice…I should like to dispense.” *lol*

You must have been grinning like a cheshire cat when this line came to your mind. I know I would have been. Btw..is anyone making a banner for your story? If not and you'd like one let me know, I'd love to make one for you. Just a thought.
I would absolutely love it if you would like to make a banner for me. Thank you so much for offering -- and for the wonderful, insightful review.

04/11/2007 04:23 am
Chapter Thirty         
Whew is Vampire William creepy - love the descent into evil.
Thank you!

04/08/2007 05:41 pm
Chapter Thirty         
This is hard for me to read, but that's because it rings so true. And it's not a criticism. You're showing how William became Spike, the long journey to Buffy, and that's much finer than if you'd skipped over his hundred-plus years as a vampire to have them meet again in Sunnydale. I am pulled into this story like no other. Thank you for writing with such care, and so often in William's/Spike's point of view.
Thank you. I know it's hard to read, but I'm so glad that you like it anyway.

04/05/2007 09:53 pm
Chapter Thirty         
wow that was violent
Could've been worse...

04/05/2007 07:37 pm
Chapter Thirty         
the creation of spike, a powerful read. thank you
Thanks for reviewing.

04/04/2007 12:46 pm
Chapter Thirty         
love the story!!!!!
Thank you.

Deb
04/04/2007 10:24 am
Chapter Thirty         
Ohhh..that's very chilling. Kinda graphic, but inspired. Thank you for weaving in that his dreams are of Elizabeth and his passion/despair of her loss drives him. Excellent writing. I'm hooked!
Thanks, Deb. What a nice thing to say. I really appreciate the review!

04/04/2007 08:25 am
Chapter Thirty         
Angry William is scary. Angry, vengeful William doubly so.
Scary but fun, right? Thanks for the review!

04/04/2007 06:53 am
Chapter Thirty         
Just got caught up on this ... quite a turn of events, and how interesting. Love the explanation for why he's killing blondes and *love* the line about poetic justice!
I'm glad you did. I have to admit that when he said that, I snickered as well. Naughty William, ever the poet. Thanks for the review!

04/04/2007 05:34 am
Chapter Thirty         
Was wondering when he was getting around to Archer. Guess they'll be leaving London soon, now that Darla's back. Enjoying this so much. Thanks for the second update, great chapter.
Thanks for the review.

04/04/2007 05:31 am
Chapter Thirty         
Hmm- I have to wonder which way in particular Dru was playing with Archer?
I think I know what your guess would be...and you're entirely right. Thanks for the review!