Betas: Mabel Marsters, Tanit, and Slaymesoftly.

In Harm's Way


Chapter Twenty-Five: No Act


The sewers were slimy and the stench was overpowering. Buffy imagined that it was worse for Spike with his heightened senses, but he didn't complain. In fact, during the walk over, he had been quiet, frowning and mumbling under his breath. She could only guess that he was angry at the Mokstelka demon for ruining their plans to patrol together.

Once they were down in the sewers, he took over, hunting the demon down like a bloodhound. They'd trudged through the large round pipes for half an hour and the fumes were starting to make her feel nauseated. When she started to complain, he put a finger to her lips and scowled at her, shaking his head.

They rounded a corner and there it was, sitting down, almost asleep. It leapt to its feet, ready to fight, but it was no match for two super beings with weapons. Buffy got in a few good swings, but Spike kept pushing her out of the way. He toyed with the demon for a few minutes and then ran it through the stomach with his sword. Buffy yelled, “Duck!” and swung her sword, chopping off its head.

This demon didn’t melt into a pile of sticky goo like some did. She was glad they were underground, so she wouldn't have to bury it. Buffy was caught off guard by the angry look Spike gave her and backed up. He yanked his sword out and to her amazement, he went postal on the demon's body, taking turns hacking at it and then stabbing it. His grunts, yells and curses echoed across the pipes and back.

“Spike!” she yelled over the noise he was making. “Spike! Stop it!”

He ignored her and continued his assault, so she used the flat of her sword and smacked his side with it.

His sword clattered to the ground and he turned towards her. “That's just brilliant.”

The closer he came, the more nervous she got. There was something wrong with him; something had really pissed him off. She racked her brain for what she could've possibly done but nothing came to mind.

“Go ahead, Buffy. Run me through. I suggest the heart.” With hands outstretched, he stopped at a sword's length. “You've already done it figuratively; might as well do it literally.”

She frowned at him and dropped the sword. “What the hell are you talking about? What have I done?” She screwed her face up in distaste as a foul odor hit her.

Spike shook a finger at her. “Now that's an honest face. First one I've seen since I put this ring on.”

With a shake of her head, she said, “I don't understand what's gotten in to you.”

“You! That's what.” He turned away from her, but swung back, pointing to his chest. “You are in me. No matter how much of a fool I look, no matter what you really feel for me, I'm bloody-fucking in love with you.”

Buffy's stomach rolled as the smells intensified around her. She pushed past him. “I need to get some fresh air before I throw up.”

He followed her out, carrying both swords. They ended up in a culvert next to a residential street, and Buffy climbed the dirt hill, stopping only once she was on the street. She hunched over and breathed deep.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

Spike put his hand on Buffy's back just as she was starting to feel better. She straightened up and shoved him away.

“Get away from me,” she ground out. She couldn't believe he had the nerve to yell at her and act crazy, then get all gentle with concern.

It was his fault that she was feeling sick, she just knew it. She rarely got sick, having seen and smelled some of the most disgusting things this world had to offer. It had to be the baby. She'd been waiting for the morning sickness. The doctor she spoke to earlier in the afternoon thought she should be getting it soon. Never mind that it was ten o'clock at night or that the sick feeling was already fading.

She glared back at him as he stood a few feet away, scowling at her with narrowed eyes. Then, she turned her back on him and walked down the street. She already had her bearings and knew that if she just kept going east, she'd go through Main Street and eventually get to her dorm.

Buffy was just going through an alley near Main Street when he ran up to her, dropped the weapons and grabbed her by the arms. “So that's it? Hm?”

“Let go of me.”

“What? The jig’s up so you're not even going to give me the time of day? You think you can get rid of me that easy?” He shook her shoulders to emphasize his point. “I don't think so.”

“Gah, Spike. What's wrong with you?” She shoved him away again. “What happened to earlier tonight when you were all with the handsies under the table and all the suggestive looks?”

He closed his eyes and she could swear that he was counting to ten. When he opened them, she was mesmerized by the smoldering lust there. His hands went to her waist and he held her just a little too tightly.

“I want you. I'll always want you, no matter what.” He pressed her against the brick wall and stared her down. “Are you actually trying to say you want me, too?”

She gazed down between them where his jeans were pressed to her dress. Her heart was pounding like it wanted out of her chest and his rough treatment only added to the excitement. Maybe she'd go to hell for wanting him, but she did.

Her eyelids fluttered as she gazed into his intense blue eyes and all she could manage was a whispered, “Yes.”

He continued to hold her gaze for a few seconds and her heart sank when she saw a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes, but then Spike grabbed her head and kissed her. A searing, bruising, angry kiss that she welcomed as she kissed him back. He seemed to be one step ahead of her and she gasped for breath as he turned his attention to her neck, kissing and sucking, using his tongue.

Buffy arched her back and lifted one leg, snaking it between his coat and his thigh, wrapping it around him and trying to pull him closer. Her fevered mind didn't think they were nearly close enough and she was soon frustrated that she couldn't fix it.

Spike paused and stared at her with lust glazed eyes. “That's my bite mark, from when I tried to kill you.”

“Yes.”

She could see the two puncture wound scars clearly in her mind. She spent a few minutes every day looking at it. Whether it had been intentional or not, he'd covered Angel's scar with his own. When she thought back to how Angel had bitten her, it made her blood run cold. She'd given him permission, but the brutality of that moment would never be erased from her mind. When Spike had bitten her, he'd meant to kill her, yet she went warm all over when she remembered it. He'd cleanly bitten into her and at the time, she had thought she was in love with him, so it hadn't hurt as much. She marveled that he hadn't killed her.

Spike went back to placing kisses on her neck, and when he licked the scar, they both trembled. He moved up and kissed her on the lips again. She let out a soft moan when he cupped one of her breasts. Willow had teased her when she'd taken forever to get dressed tonight, because she’d known that it was all for Spike. The dress did not require a bra, and Buffy was so sensitive that it felt as if there was no material between them at all.

It wasn't enough for her to just touch his skin under his shirt. She reached for his belt and tugged on it, trying to get it undone. Spike froze and glanced around.

“I should take you right here in this dirty alley,” he snarled, then sighed and loosened his grip. “But that's not how I want it.”

Spike smoothed her hair down and gave her some breathing room. She was disappointed yet relieved that they'd stopped. He walked her home without saying a word, opened the door for her and handed over the swords. He didn't kiss her or mention anything about seeing her the next day. He didn't so much as give her a nod, but turned his back to her and walked out of sight.

Going up the stairs, she dragged the swords behind her and mulled over Spike's strange behavior. He'd been so good at Giles', but once they left he’d seemed angry even when he brought up the fact that he loved her. He seemed almost resentful about it.

Willow looked up from the book she was reading as she sat up in bed. “Hey, girl. Did you find the demon?”

“Yep. It was found and destroyed,” she said, leaning the swords on the wall by the door. “I'll be back. I need to clean up.” She grabbed her toiletry bag and towels and rushed out.

After Buffy came back from taking a shower, Willow put her book down, swung her legs over the bed and waited for Buffy to slip into her blankets before asking, “Did you tell him?”

“About the baby? No. It just wasn't the right time. I will tell him, soon.”


~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


It was a nice, bright afternoon and Spike was just beginning to enjoy his time on the porch swing with Anabella when he caught sight of Buffy walking up the street.

Earlier, he'd been moping around the house, trying to come to terms with the fact that Buffy was willing to go so far, just to get the Gem of Amara off his finger, when Carol had knocked on the door and asked if he could keep an eye on Anabella for a few minutes. The neighbor she usually asked was gone for the day and she had to drive an elderly neighbor to a last minute doctor's appointment and help her get into the office. Because the neighbor had a ride home, Carol promised to be back in twenty minutes. He agreed to keep an eye on Anabella outside after they got a snack, because Carol didn't know Spike enough to have Anabella in the house alone with him.

They'd gone straight to the kitchen and put together a little snack tray with Oreo cookies, milk and vanilla ice cream. Now, Anabella continued to babble until Buffy climbed the porch steps, her long black skirt flowing in the breeze. The little girl hopped down and grabbed her hand. “Hey, Buffy. You wanna swing with us? We have cookies and ice cream and milk.”

As Anabella pulled her over to the swing, Spike locked eyes with Buffy. Was there a hint of sadness there? Or was he just imagining it? Buffy smiled down at Anabella.

“How can I say no if there's ice cream involved?”

Buffy hesitated, but then sat down next to him and took the offered bowl . Everything in him screamed at him to hit her. He couldn't understand how she could live with herself. But, since she apparently thought of him as nothing but a soulless demon with no real capacity to feel, maybe he could.

“You can have Spike's because he's full.” Anabella hopped back up, staring at Buffy as she ate an Oreo cookie. “My mommy was pretty like you.”

“I bet she was,” Buffy said, softly.

“Daddy gave me a picture in a pretty silver frame. I keep it by my bed.”

“Hey, Poppet? Why don't you show Buffy how you can ride that bike of yours with only one training wheel now?”

“Oh, OK!” Anabella said and jumped off the swing. She ran and picked up her bike from the lawn, placed it on the sidewalk, and said, “Watch this, Buffy!”

“She is so cute,” Buffy told Spike, not taking her eyes off the girl. “How on earth did she end up on your porch, eating cookies and ice cream with you?”

“Her grandmother asked me to watch her while she helps a friend get to the doctor's. She should be back any minute.”

Buffy stared at him now with an opened mouth. “Spike the vampire is babysitting a little girl? How is it that they possibly trust you with her?”

“First, they have no idea that I'm a vampire. Second, I brought the little girl home when she was wandering the street, and third, Carol says that Anabella rarely takes a liking to strangers and almost never smiles for them.”

“She smiles for me, too,” Buffy stated.

“Yeah, she does.”

Buffy clapped as Anabella rode by the house on her small pink bike. “Good job!” She turned to Spike and asked, “Did you ever want kids when you were human?”

He watched her closely, trying to figure out why she'd ask such a question, but she kept her eyes on Anabella. “I always thought I'd have children. Didn't spend much time around them, but before I was turned, I was thinking about finding a wife and carrying on the family name. After I was turned, I haven't thought much about it. 'S not good to dwell on things that can never happen.”

“Oh, no!” Buffy said, jumping up.

Anabella was going too fast and the bike wobbled precariously. The bike tipped over and the little girl began to cry. Spike beat Buffy to her, picked her up and brought her to the porch. It was a foreign feeling to have a small child cling to him, crying and searching for comfort from him, but he told himself that it wasn't much different from taking care of Dru after Prague.

“There, there, Poppet. It's just a scrape.” He gave her a light hug and sat down on the swing with Anabella in his lap. “Tell me where it hurts.”

Buffy knelt down by them and inspected the scrape on the little girl's knee. Then Anabella pointed to her one hand and then the next. Her hands weren't bleeding but the scrape on her knee was.

“I've scraped my hands like that before,” Buffy told her. “That really hurts. And when I would scrape my knee, it always felt better after my mom would kiss it and put a band aid on it.”

Anabella buried her head in Spike's chest. “'S alright, love. You want me to kiss it better?” He felt her nod. “Fine then, let's clean it up, and then I'll give it a magical kiss and it will feel like new.”

He didn't like the look that Buffy was giving him. He wasn't a sweet guy; he was an evil vampire, but he just couldn't let the little one suffer. He frowned at Buffy and said, “I remember seeing a first aid box on top of the refrigerator.”

She disappeared into the house. It seemed like it was taking her forever just to bring out a first aid kit, and he was just about go in with Anabella when she finally came out.

“Took you long enough.”

“Don't get cranky with me, mister. I just met your roommate.” Buffy handed Anabella a stuffed bunny. “This is from Clem.”

Anabella clutched the bunny to her and smiled. “Clem has a skin condition. He can't go outside.”

Eyes wide in alarm, she stared at Spike then back at the little girl. “You've met him?”

“No. He's too scared to let anyone see him, but he said ‘hi’ from the stairs.”

Buffy relaxed on her knees and opened an antiseptic wipe. “Well, he was watching you ride your bike from his bedroom and saw you fall. He asked me to give you the bunny and to tell you that he thinks you're getting better with the one training wheel.” She glanced up at Spike again and said, “This might sting a little.”

Spike watched her gently place the antiseptic pad on the wounded knee and was prepared when Anabella jumped. After her hands were also cleaned, she showed them to Spike. “Kiss them.”

With a little smile, he brought one palm and then the other to his lips. She giggled.

“And my knee.”

He kissed her knee and then Buffy carefully placed a large band aid over it.

“Granna!” Anabella yelled when she saw Carol's car drive by.

She hopped off Spike's lap, jumped down the steps and got her bike.

“I'll be right back,” Spike said and caught up to Anabella.

After he explained what happened with the bike accident, Carol shrugged. “Looks like you took good care of her. Besides, I'm very sure that won't be her last boo-boo.”

He watched them go into their house and then walked back to his own. Buffy sat in the swing, slowly going back and forth and staring at him as he climbed the steps. If he hadn't overheard Giles and Xander he'd have been in a state of euphoria right now. She looked stunning, sitting on his porch and staring at him with eyes that said they liked what they saw.

Knowing it was only an act, his stomach cramped and it was as if his intestines were being tied in knots.

Spike cleared his throat and opened the front door. “You want to come inside and tell me why you're here?”

“I don't want to give Clem a heart attack. He nearly fainted when I came into the kitchen to get the first aid kit.”

“He'll be fine. He's harmless, so no slaying allowed. It's tough for him because he doesn't have the heart of a demon and his own species pretty much will have nothing to do with him. Except his girlfriend, who just kicked him out because he gambles too much.”

“Really?” she asked, sounding amused yet interested.

“Yes. We've been poker buddies for a while now, but you have to watch him. The folds in his skin are perfect hiding places for extra cards.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “next time I play poker with demons.”

She followed him into the kitchen, but Clem was not there.

“He's probably hiding in his room.” Spike put his hand behind his neck and watched her. She seemed at ease, sitting in his kitchen as if it was a daily occurrence. “You want something to drink? Clem is great about keeping things stocked up.”

She nodded, then held the glass for him while he poured cherry Kool-Aid. Buffy took a drink and smiled. “Tell Clem that the Slayer thinks he makes great Kool-Aid.”

“So, what brings you by on this beautiful afternoon?” He leaned an elbow on the white-tiled counter and wondered what excuse she'd come up with.

Buffy wouldn't look him in the eye, but played with the rim of her glass. “There's...I have something...” She shook her head and glanced up. “What happened last night?”

There was nothing he could say that she'd want to hear. He shrugged. “We hunted down a demon, we got rid of it, then I kissed you in an alley and took you home.”

The glass clicked against the counter when she put it down. She walked towards him and hesitantly reached out, touching his arm. “What's wrong?”

Oh, she was out to seduce him. There was no doubt in his mind. Spike looked her up and down and chuckled. “How long did it take you to get ready to come here?”

“I don't know,” she said, frowning as she scanned his face.

She blinked when he raised his hand and ran a finger across her cheekbone. “Did you think about me when you lined your eyes with black kohl?” He ran his finger down to her glossy lips. “And did you plan on kissing me when you put this strawberry scented gloss on?”

She let out a shuddering breath and closed her eyes, but she didn't answer.

His hand drifted to her shoulder. “And what about this red top? Hmm?” The tiny thing pushed up her pert little breasts. He blinked before saying, “Did you imagine that I'd take this off sometime tonight?”

“No,” she said, but leaned into him, pressing against his erection and he stifled a moan, resting his head against the cabinet behind him. “I came here to tell you something, but you are right in a way.” She rested both palms on his chest, and then put her hands around his waist at the small of his back. “I...I can't stop thinking about you and--”

Needing to shut her up, Spike kissed her, because it was too much for him. He wanted it to be true, and knowing that it wasn't caused an ache deep in his bones. She moaned into his mouth, kissing him back with gusto and he hated her for it.

Even so, he maneuvered her towards the basement door and opened it, telling himself that it was only fair that he should take what he could get; what she was offering. They stumbled down the stairs, groping each other, shedding clothes, but never breaking the kiss.

Spike guided her into the bedroom and flipped the track lighting on. They kept their eyes on each other as they kicked their shoes off. She'd managed to unbuckle his belt, so it took just a second to shed his jeans and then they were naked, rubbing together.

He wanted to take his time and savor the moment, but they were both too revved up to slow down. They fell on the bed and he moved to cover her with his body. Buffy writhed beneath him, making soft little noises, and he felt he might go insane if he didn't take her right at that moment.

Spike raised his head and gazed at her, her green eyes flashed with arousal, spurring him on. “I need to be inside you. Now.”

“Please,” Buffy whispered, grabbing his waist to pull him closer.

He wasn't surprised to find her slick and ready. Moaning with the intense pleasure, he pushed into her, and Buffy raised her hips up, meeting him halfway. She continued to move underneath him with each of his thrusts, pushing him to go faster.

Soon, Buffy's head was hitting the headboard, so he stopped, kicked the bed cover down and off the bed, then grabbed her hips and yanked her further down. She stared at him with glazed eyes, chest rising and falling as she caught her breath and raised her arms up in invitation. He settled back into place and quickly brought them back to the pace they'd been at before.

When she pulled his head down and kissed him, he slowed his rhythm, but soon, he was slamming into her harder than before. With each powerful thrust, she cried out. He knew she was close when her walls constricted around him, so he continued with the punishing rhythm and held off until she screamed out in ecstasy and then quieted down with a whimpering moan. He continued to pump in and out of her, letting himself go until he was completely spent.

He relaxed on top of her and closed his eyes while she caressed his back. Buffy ran her fingertips over his flesh then used her nails to lightly scratch paths up and down. It became too intimate for him; more so than when he was making love to her, and he couldn't take it, knowing it was all a lie. Spike rolled off, but she followed him, cuddling up to his side, resting her arm across his stomach.

“I can't believe we just did that,” she said in amazement. “I mean, I know we've done it before, but this time, I wasn't under a spell. I really wanted to be with you.”

Spike closed his eyes and let the sadness wash over him. She was still acting. But she had to; he still had the ring.