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Chapter 16
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'“She’s probably back in the room,” Willow was saying. “I wouldn’t have wanted to be partying, either, if I had- oh boy.”

I jumped away from Spike, my eyes wide. “Willow!”

Willow was beet red, Tara just as crimson behind her. “Wow. Okay. I’m just…going to grab some clothes, and I’ll stay in Tara’s room tonight. Looks like you two have some…stuff to work out?” She grabbed the first thing she saw and practically ran out of the room.

“You girls have some fun tonight!” Spike called after them, his eyes glinting in amusement.

I slapped his arm playfully. “Be nice!” Then I realized that we were all alone again, and I was suddenly hit with uncertainty. “So…”

He smirked, propping himself up on one elbow beside me on the bed. “So?”

I wanted to ask him where he’d been, what he’d done, who he’d done- though I was pretty sure that that last question had been answered- but all I could say was, “Wow.”

“You think so?” he smiled, leaning forward to kiss the tip of my nose.

“What are we doing?” I asked him, sitting up and scooting backwards. “I mean, you leave two days ago, and now you’re back and-“

He frowned. “Are you afraid of me?”

“Did you get that chip out?” I retorted.

“Bloody- You know I’d never hurt you!” He sat up abruptly, hurt evident in his eyes. “You mean far too much to me!”

I glowed inwardly. Outwardly, I frowned. “Spike…”

He slumped, defeated. “Yes. I did. But I wouldn’t-“

“I know you wouldn’t.” I laid a hand on his arm. “What happened, these past two days?”

He sighed. “You don’t want to hear this.”

“Riley’s already told me some,” I informed him, watching his eyes narrow in concern. “But I’d rather hear it from you.”

“Alright.” He leaned against the headboard of my bed, holding out his arm for me to scoot against. “But you’re not going to like it.”

I rested my head against his shoulder. “I know.”

“That first night, after we left, we went to the Initiative to get my chip out. But they were more than prepared to deal with a few vampires, especially one that couldn’t hurt them and another who isn’t quite at her full strength. Angelus was nearly chipped. That was a huge failure.” Spike pulled me closer. “So he spent the night making minions. We must have had thirty vampires by the end of the night.”

I frowned. “I didn’t hear about so many deaths.”

Spike nodded. “Angelus isn’t a normal vampire. He doesn’t just target the closest morsel. Especially since he was planning on making an army. He went to the Sunnydale motels, the ones at the edge of town where visitors stay. Slaughtered them all.”

“Oh, god.” I felt sick.

“Also drunks, people who weren’t likely to have others searching for them. Not immediately, anyway. Angelus didn’t want to make a fuss,” Spike continued casually, oblivious to my horror.

“All those people…” I whispered.

“Yeah,” he agreed, unconcerned. “Then added to the twenty or so minions he already had around, we had our army. We broke into the Initiative again last night. That time, it worked.” He finally noticed my expression and turned to look at me with sudden alarm. “What’s wrong?”

I stared at him in disbelief. “Spike, I’m not a vampire. I have a soul! These people all being murdered…you can’t imagine that I’d be okay with it!”

He frowned. “But you don’t know them. What does it matter to you?” He took in my shaking frame in confusion. “Buffy, pet…”

I pulled away from him. “Have you killed anyone tonight?”


“Don’t lie to me!”

“I haven’t, I swear!” His eyes beseeched me to believe him. “I fed, yes. But I haven’t killed anyone. I knew you wouldn’t like it!”

I scrutinized his face for any sign of dishonesty, and found nothing. “What about during the Initiative raid? With the grudge you had against them, don’t tell me you didn’t take some revenge.”

He bowed his head. “I won’t lie to you.

“We went to the Initiative for two reasons- to shut it down and get my chip out. First, the minions all stormed the Initiative through the sewers, and Angelus, Dru and I found a doctor, strong-armed him into removing my chip. I killed him,” he admitted, looking unsurprised when I backed away even more. “I killed a few people last night. But then I saw your old boy-toy-“

“Riley! He said you didn’t notice him!”

He laughed. “Oh, I did. And believe me, the temptation to kill him was stronger than anything else. Knowing that he’d had you…” His eyes darkened and I felt a chill of fear of the man before me. “But I couldn’t. Not then, not after that. I remembered that the Initiative soldiers…some of them were your teachers, your friends…I didn’t want to make you upset.”

“And people I don’t know? Why is that okay?” It was finally occurring to me just how impossible any relationship with him would be. Not while his method of survival was something so abominable.

“I’m a predator, Buffy. I need the kill.”

I gave him a pleading look. “Spike, I can’t be with a killer. I can’t.”

He caved in an instant. “I know. And for now, I can do what I’ve been doing since I saw Finn. Feeding without killing.” He sighed. “Now, will you please get over here so I can show you why?”

For now… That wasn’t enough. But I knew that it was as good as I was going to get. And here was Spike on a silver platter, and I’d have to be crazy to turn him down.

I crawled back next to him, pressing my lips against his. He deepened the kiss, his hands moving to my waist and under my shirt. “We laid waste to the caves,” he murmured against my lips, lowering his head to work at my neck. “Burned down the facility,” His hands crept downward, sliding my pants down over my hips. “And freed all the demons.”

I moaned in pleasure as his mouth fastened around my pulse point, sucking it rhythmically. “Spike…”

“Then Mr. Bits came.”

Wait, that didn’t make sense. “Huh?”

Spike raised that sinful mouth of his to grin at me. “Called himself Adam, looked like he was made up of lots of parts, some human, some machine, and some demon. A modern-day Frankenstein. The soldiers’ real objective here, I’d assume. They’ve just been collecting upgrades for him from all of Sunnydale.”

“You’re kidding.” I shuddered as a finger slid inside me. “Spike!”

He kissed me slowly, languidly, his tongue running past my lips to explore my mouth as his hands did the same to the rest of my body. I arched against him as my climax hit, collapsing moments later.

He gave me a feral grin. “We’ve barely begun.”

Then he was on top of me again, and I was pulling at his jeans, and it was hours before we mentioned the Initiative or Adam again.


I curled next to Spike, my head resting on his bare chest as I awakened again. “Is it morning yet?” I wondered, squinting to see through the blankets that obscured any sunlight from getting into the room. “Hey, when did you cover the windows?”

“Before you got back here last night.” Spike curled his tongue in front of his teeth. “I was hoping I’d stay the night.”

I pouted. “What, I’m so easy?”

He sucked my earlobe into his mouth, and I was suddenly panting and thrusting my heat against him. “Oh, yeah.”

“Stop that!” I poked his chest. “I’m only like this for you, and you know it. I even had to fake it for Riley.”

“Did you?” he said, sounding delighted. “Idiot little soldier boy, can’t satisfy a woman…”

I poked him again. “Don’t be mean. Riley at least cared enough to try for it. Most guys that I’ve been with never even noticed that I didn’t.”

“Most guys?” Spike growled. “How many are we talking, exactly?”

“I don’t need to tell you that,” I informed him. “I didn’t ask you how many girls you’ve been with-“

“Two,” Spike cut me off. “Dru and you. That’s all. And Darla, a few times, but never just with her, so I don’t know if that counts…”

I leaned against him, feeling suddenly faint. “You were with one girl for a hundred and twenty years? And you didn’t get bored?” There was no way I could compete with that. Or the very squicky idea of Dru, Darla and Spike, all together…or was it Spike, Darla, and Angelus? “Oh, god.”

“Hey.” Spike pressed a kiss to my lips. “Don’t worry about her. It’s you I want. When I’m with you, I forget that she even exists. It’s you, Buffy. It’ll always be you.”

“Really?” I let my head rest against his shoulder.

“Really,” he confirmed.

“Three before you,” I admitted. “One boyfriend who dumped me right after, one one-night stand, and Riley.” I stuck out my tongue at him. “Still more than you.”

He caught my tongue with his teeth and pulled it into his mouth. “Mm-hm.” He smirked. “Of course, that means that two of them never tried to get you off, and Riley failed miserably…so tonight was your first orgasm!” he concluded with glee.

I scowled. “Oh, stop preening!” But his ear-splitting boyish grin was so adorable, I reluctantly broke out in a smile, too.

“I missed you so very much these past few days,” he murmured, stroking my hair gently. “Don’t know how I ever managed without you.”

“Whatever happened with that Adam guy?” I asked, suddenly remembering our earlier conversation.

“Oh, right.” He shook his head. “He came later that night, when we were celebrating. Well, Peaches and Dru were celebrating,” he corrected with a grimace. “If you catch my drift.” I did, and I shuddered in shared sympathy and just a teeny bit of jealousy at Spike’s distaste for the two other vampires’ “celebration.” “They’ve been staying in a mansion on Crawford Street. Only the best for Angelus.” He snorted. “Anyway, Adam came there. Offered Angelus a job.”

“A job!” Now I was getting worried. If this new guy and Angelus were working together…

But Spike waved his hand. “You underestimate the Grand Poof’s ego. He’d never work for anyone else. And Dru kept babbling about one of her visions, that his power was in his heart or some such rot, so Angelus got close enough to him to yank out his ‘heart.’” Spike shrugged. “It was a uranium power core. And without his battery, Robot Demon was scrap.”

“Wow. That’s anticlimactic.” The Initiative gone. Their evil plan or whatever, gone as quickly as it had presented itself. “Dawn’s going to be either really relieved or really pissed that she missed it. But I guess she’s got enough on her plate right now.”

Spike kissed the top of my head. “Well, whatever she chooses to do now, you can tell her that I’m willing to fight with her to help take down Angelus.”

It had to be asked. “And Dru?”

Spike sighed. “I want her out of town.” At my betrayed look, he elaborated, “Not because I love her. I still do have certain feelings for her. She’s my Sire, the face of my salvation, and my constant companion for over a century.” He bent his head to kiss me, but I turned away. “But if she hurts you…she’ll pay. You come first now, Buffy.” He tilted my chin to bring me to face him again. “Earlier tonight, Angelus left on some make-the-Slayer-crazy scheme or another. He told me to keep Dru entertained…but I couldn’t. Like I told you before, all I could see was you. I’m drowning in you, love. Drowning in you.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but exhaustion overtook me. I was fast asleep in Spike’s arms moments later, his last words ringing in my ears.
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