Chapter 5- Rejecting Two Brits

“I found the address for the company that’s making the chocolate bars,” Willow announced triumphantly after looking it up on-line. “It’s near the old factory Spike and Drusilla were in.”

“Should I get Giles and my mom?” Buffy asked, standing up from her seat, not surprised when Spike copied her actions. “Or do you think I’ll be fine on my own?”

“You will not be alone, Elizabeth,” Spike said, lifting his chin proudly. “I will accompany you.”

“No, you won’t,” she replied, turning towards Willow and missing the hurt expression on Spike’s face. “I’ll call you when this is all over.”

“Sounds good,” Willow said, escorting them to the door. “Be careful, Buffy, and it was nice… to meet you, William.” He nodded curtly and walked outside, which surprised Buffy.

“I wonder what his problem is,” she said, and Willow smiled slightly at her. “What?”

“You said you wouldn’t let him go with you- I’m sure that hurt a little,” she answered. “He looked kind of sad.”

“I don’t want to look out for him when I get to the factory,” Buffy said, watching as he stood on Willow’s porch and stared at his feet. “I don’t know what I’m going to face there and don’t need him to distract me.”

“I’m surprised you’re willing to protect him,” Willow said quietly. “I mean, this is Spike we’re talking about.”

“No, it’s not,” Buffy replied. “It may be Spike’s body, but it’s William we’re dealing with.”

“Yes, but wouldn’t it be easy to stake him right now and have him out of our lives for good?” Willow asked.

“If I’m going to kill Spike, I want it to be a fair fight,” Buffy said. “I think Spike deserves that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Willow said, shrugging. “Good luck at the factory. I hope everything works out.”

“Me, too,” Buffy agreed, walking outside and over to Spike. He looked at her with an angry expression and stormed off. She raised an eyebrow and quickly followed him until she was walking alongside him. “What’s wrong?”

“I heard what you were saying to Miss Willow,” he said sharply. “Every word.”

“I’m trying to protect you,” she said, confused. “Why are you upset about that?”

“Because I’m a man, Elizabeth- I am supposed to be the one protecting you, not the other way around,” he said, coming to a stop.

“Times have changed,” she replied, crossing her arms. “And I’m a lot tougher than I look. I can handle myself just fine, William, trust me.” He looked down, not wanting her to see how upset he was. “I’m going to take you to my house, and when this chaos is over, I’ll come back to make sure everything’s well and fine, okay?”

“Are you going to let the naked man from before go with you?” he asked, and she studied him, surprised to hear the jealousy in his voice.

“Yes, but that’s because he’s a fighter,” she answered, and he looked at her, frowning. “William, he knows how to handle situations like this- I need him with me.”

“Do you enjoy being around him more than me?” he asked, and she looked away, not knowing how to answer.

‘When he’s like this, it’s not difficult to have him with me,’ she thought. ‘But when he’s his usual jerky self, then I’d rather slit my throat than see him.’ She paused and was surprised by her next thought. ‘Well, sometimes I don’t mind Spike. But only sometimes.’

“I think you’re quite a nice guy,” she finally said. “But Giles has to be the one with me- I’m sorry.”

“You promise you’ll come back when you resolve the problem?” he asked, and she nodded. “Then I guess I can only wait to see you again.”

* * * * *

After dropping off Spike at her house and making sure he’d be fine on his own, she walked to Giles’ house and let herself inside, surprised to see that it had been cleaned up since she was there last. She looked around for a while and was confused when she didn’t see anyone in the living room or upstairs.

‘Where the hell are they?’ she thought, noticing her mother’s purse on an end table. ‘She’s still here, so where is she?’

She suddenly heard a loud groan and a string of British curses and followed the sound of Giles’ voice towards the bathroom, opening the door to see Joyce and Giles in his bathtub, obviously in the middle of having sex.

“Oh my god!” she shrieked, slamming the door closed and shutting her eyes, rubbing her temples. “Why does bad stuff always happen to me?!” She heard some of the bathwater move around in the tub and figured someone was getting out, which only served to make her more nauseous.

‘I don’t need to see either of them naked again,’ she said to herself. ‘Because I’m already going to need a hell of a lot of therapy after today.’

“Want to come in and join us, sexy?” Giles asked loudly, chuckling. “Because I think there’s room for one more in here.”

“No!” she shouted, disgusted at the thought. “Even if it wasn’t you, that’s my mother in there!”

“Well, she’s quite talented,” he said, opening the door while wrapping a towel around his waist. “You should see this thing she does with her hips- it’s bloody priceless.”

“I will pay you to stop right now,” Buffy said, taking a step back and glaring at him as he tried to move closer to her. “I need your help with something.”

“Well, if you want to have a go with me, just say the words and I’ll yank off this terry cloth,” he said, leering at her. “I’ll let you choose where and how you want me.”

“I do not want you!” she said loudly, pushing him against a wall. “Now will you shut up and let me talk?”

“There are better things you can do with your tongue, I’m sure,” he replied suggestively, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“When you’re back to your usual stuffy self, I’m going to remind you of every word you’ve said to me today,” she said, crossing her arms. “I can’t wait to see how much you blush and clean your glasses during that conversation, buddy.”

“Fine,” he said, sighing. “What’s so important?”

“We need to go on a little trip to a factory on the other side of town,” she said. “The company that’s been making chocolate bars for the band to sell has been doing something to their products. I think there’s a spell or something on them to make people who eat them become… weird.”

“That’s why you interrupted Joyce and I?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I haven’t quite had my fill of her, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to-”

“Go back in there and I’ll castrate you,” she said in a low tone, grabbing his arm and pulling him down the hallway and into the main part of the apartment.

“If you want to get near my manly bits, all you have to do is ask,” he said, and before she could catch herself, she balled up her fist and punched his nose. “Bloody hell!”

“That’s what you get for being a pervert,” she replied. “Now go get dressed so I can get you back to normal.”

“I think I liked you better when I thought you were the girl I handcuffed to my bed,” he mumbled, walking upstairs. She shook her head and sat down on a stool, waiting for him.

‘I wonder who the girl was he handcuffed,’ she thought to herself before her eyes widened. ‘Bad thoughts, Buffy, very bad thoughts. Think of something else… Spike sitting on your couch and looking grumpy. Yeah, that’s a completely asexual thought.’ She hesitated and looked down. ‘Well, the part about Spike isn’t asexual because let’s face it- he’s sex personified.’ She shut her eyes and rubbed them as she frowned. ‘You need help, Summers. Severe psychological help.’