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Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by TalesofSpike
 
Chapter 4.01
 
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Note: Thanks to my beta t_geyer for her unending patience, perseverance and support.

SECTION 4 - ELSEWHERE

I love the time and in between
The calm inside me
In the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years of
Reaching out and reaching in
Holding out and holding in

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it
As long as I can be
Left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand?


(Sarah McLachlan, Album - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy)
Thanks also to Emma for suggesting this way back
when I started FTE, even if it did take me three
months to follow through.
Hope she's still reading.





Chapter 4.01
Saturday, May 18th, 2002

Dawn was already washed up and waiting in her shortie pyjamas when the DeSoto pulled up in the driveway to the side of the house on Revello for the second time. She pulled the kitchen door open as Spike, Buffy, Wes and Brandon got out of the old car, Brandon passing the keys back to Spike.

"Tara's making hot chocolate if anyone wants some." Her words were for everyone but her gaze remained fixed on the teenage boy.

Wes shook his head. "I'll skip it, thanks. I already had some earlier. Time to try out that new bed." He checked his pockets until he found not only the keys for his new home, but those for Spike's apartment, as well. He tossed the latter to his former host with an underhand throw that the vampire easily intercepted. "If I haven't thanked you before for ...well, everything, just assume I'm doing it now."

Spike smirked. "Not exactly a hardship doubling up with my lady, here."

"Probably not." Wes gave a wry smile of agreement. "...But thank you all the same."

Meanwhile Brandon was also saying his goodbyes. "I better go. I didn't call to say that I'd be late and it's quarter to twelve, now." He cupped Dawn's face with one hand, his fingers tangling in her hair as he leant in for a kiss, the younger couple taking up the entire doorway so that Spike and Buffy had no choice but to wait for them to finish before they entered the house. Spike tried to summon up at least a snarl, but it was all too obvious that the kid was going out of his way to make Niblet happy and he seemed to plan to keep right on doing it for the foreseeable future. "Call me tomorrow, once everybody's up and about, and we'll sort out the homework thing. 'Kay?" he told Dawn in a soft voice as he rested his forehead against hers at the end of the kiss.

"Will do." Dawn pulled reluctantly away, Brandon's fingertips trailing lightly over her cheek as she did so. She reached over for the helmet that they had left on the kitchen counter when they went out for the evening, passing it to him.

"If you two would stop blockin' the door, then we could get in and leave you in peace to say goodbye," the vampire finally growled.

"Wh-." Brandon actually jumped before shifting guiltily out of the way, and Dawn followed him onto the porch.

Spike drew Buffy into the house with her hand wrapped in his and pushed the door to behind them with a booted foot.

Buffy looked up at the grumpy vamp, her eyes alight with laughter. "You do realise that you just left Dawn outside with her boyfriend unsupervised with all of her legs showing and no bra on."

"Yeah, well, I guess if Lily says we can trust him, I'm goin' to have to try. 'Sides, Bit's less of an exhibitionist than the pair of us." He turned to Tara who stood, stirring a pan of milk on the stove. "Have a good night, Tinkerbell?"

"Different..." Tara's gentle smile warmed the whole room. "Definitely different, but fun. Did either of you guys get a chance to talk to Clem's girlfriend? I'm kinda curious but I didn't want to interrupt."

"Can't say as we wanted to get in the way either, but I've bumped into her before. Seems nice enough, she plays poker once in a while. But she cashes her winnings in against her bar tab, before you ask... not big on kitty snacks. Works security at a club a few miles out of town."

Buffy looked puzzled. "Which club's that?"

"Not one you're going to be going to in a hurry, pet. Even if it catered to humans, it's the sort of place I wouldn't want my lady goin'." Spike seemed unusually firm in his response and he appeared to be glad when that Tara intervened, changing the subject.

"I don't know if we've got any marshmallows, Spike. Can you live without?"

Dawn slipped back into the room and leant against the door till it clicked shut, an enormous smile on her face

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy's waist from behind and rested his cheek alongside hers. "I can do without anything but my girls." Buffy could feel the tiredness that he hid beneath his bright façade. "Well, now that not so tall, dark and pimply's headed off for the night, if Buffy'll bring mine up when it's ready I'm going to go get a bath."

"He is not pimply. And if you're going for a bath, at least leave mine and Tara's toothbrushes and toothpaste outside the bathroom door."

"Alright, sweetness. Where's the mutt? Or shouldn't I ask?"

"She's already in the bathroom and I put some paper down, but she just went back to sleep on the bathmat as soon as I left her alone."

"That seems like even more sleepy than the normal puppy thing. You didn't feed her booze, did you?" Spike asked.

"As if! Bla-." Dawn was cut off by her sister.

"Later, Spike. She's going to be fine, okay? Go, get that bath, and I'll explain everything when I bring your hot chocolate."

Spike smiled down at his fiancée as she craned her neck to speak to him. "Ah-hah! So there's something to explain."

"Just go get yourself cleaned up, Vamp Boy."

Spike placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "As you wish, pet. 'Night, you two." He gave Dawn and Tara an amiable but half-hearted wave before he headed upstairs.

Dawn watched, waiting until he'd long cleared the room before she commented. "He seems kinda quiet. He wasn't on the brownies as well, was he?"

"Not that I know of," Buffy answered.








Buffy kicked her shoes off and dropped her wrap on top of Spike's duster as she made her way through the bedroom, a cup of hot chocolate in either hand. Spike had left the connecting door ajar and she pushed it open with her hip.

The vampire reclined in the cast-iron tub as the water level rose toward the overflow. Instead of his normal bustle, he simply lay there letting the warmth from the water soak through to his bones. His head swivelled slowly to watch Buffy's approach. "Hey, love."

"Hey, love, to you, too." She placed both the mugs by the side of the bath and stepped back a few feet. She watched Spike's face as she reached to slowly undo the zipper on her dress, letting its straps drift from her shoulders and then unhurriedly pushing it down her body to reveal her ivory lace lingerie. She tossed the dress back through the doorway, not looking to see where it landed as she stepped free. "Don't want it to get wet." she explained as she sat down on the bath's edge, reaching across to turn off the faucets.

She slid back towards the head of the bath, her sheer panties already rendered transparent in places by water splashes as she turned to face Spike once more. She reached out with her right hand to cup his face, loving how he nuzzled into her touch as her fingertips pushed into his hair and her thumb traced the scar that marred his eyebrow. Still, her eyes remained fixed on his features, automatically checking for visual cues to his feelings, even though she could feel his love for her in the depths of her soul. Nevertheless, as she leaned forward to press her lips to his, she knew that this was as right for him as it was for her. It didn't matter whether their lovemaking reached a climax, or whether they simply conveyed the gentlest aspect of their feelings for each other. All that mattered was that they exploited this shared moment of calm in the eye of the storm that seemed to be their lives.

Even as she used her right hand to push against the wall and bring herself back upright, her left hand trailed down Spike's near arm until she reached his fingertips and they twined with hers, maintaining the contact necessary for their communion.

"So, were you planning on joining me in here, love, or are you just going to tease me to death?" Spike asked his eyes alight with humour, even if his actions were more subdued than normal.

"I think it's a bit late for that, dead man. I just figured you looked kinda tired for washing yourself, and I owe you one for the other week. And I doubt even..." She paused as her eyes slid down the planes of his chest and even lower, the unadulterated water that filled the tub doing nothing to disguise the effect her semi-nudity had on her lover. "Okay, so maybe you're not as ill as I thought ...though I suspect that under normal circumstances you would probably have just pulled me in rather than issuing an invitation."

"Guess I'm turning into a predictable old man. An' the day I don't stand up an' salute when you walk 'round the room in your sexy undies is the day you'll be able to wash me down the plug-hole with the bathwater."

"How romantic," Buffy gently teased, knowing that even if certain parts were willing, it was still more of an automatic reaction and not an indication that the vampire was really well enough to follow through. She lifted their joined hands to her lips pressing butterfly kisses against the back of each finger before turning his hand over to nibble at his extremely sensitive palm. "Just relax and let me do the pampering for once, okay?"

"Like I'm going to waste energy arguin'."

"Good. Now, stay put, and drink your cocoa or whatever it is you Brits call it. I won't be long."

Buffy picked up her own cup and padded back through into the bedroom pulling the door over behind her, so that he could hear little bits of what she was doing, but in his less than perfect state it seemed like too much effort to do more than simply wait and see. After several minutes, he heard the first strains of some hauntingly soft music, 'The Theme from Harry's Game' by Clannad, the first track on the tape he had had made up for their night at the ice-rink. Then, Buffy doused the lights in the master bedroom. As she came back through to the bathroom, she flicked the light switch there, too, leaving the tray full of tea-lights that she carried as the only illumination. There were more than twenty of them and she spread them around the room wherever surfaces allowed, in groups of three and four and five.

Rogue never even stirred.

"This so you can't see how rough I look? I look bad, right? Promise you'll sort me out with some make up tomorrow so Bit doesn't notice."

"You look fine," Buffy reassured him. "Damn fine, in fact. And I think Dawn would be even more likely to notice the unprecedented event of you wearing "Golden Glow" foundation than if you look a little pale, though she already commented that you seemed quiet. I really think it might be better to tell her. And even when you were halfway starved, when you just escaped from the Initiative, you were hot as hell. Losing your appeal for this particular member of the opposite sex is the last thing you have to worry about, and you started looking better after you managed to eat something and keep it down.

Now duck." She set a hand on top of his head, only pushing hard enough to let him know she wanted him to soak his hair. When he re-emerged she tenderly stroked the wet curls back from his forehead and asked the all important question. "Menthol dandruff or camomile for blondes?"

Spike gave a half-wattage version of his normal grin. "I know you like things to co-ordinate, pet, but I never thought you'd be matchin' up my fags to my shampoo. That said, since it's a choice between that and smelling like silage I'll go for the minty fresh."

"You know, not that this thing is going to drag out any longer than I can help... and by the way, Tara is hopefully working her Wiccan way and chanting the chant even as I speak. but purely on the grounds of scientific curiosity, if you did get worse, it'd be interesting to see which quit first, your overly smart mouth or the part that does most of its thinking for it.

Now lean forward just a little bit..."

"Bossy, little ch-."

"...Love."

Buffy could see what was coming and placed a finger on his lips before he could say anything. "Yep, I called you love. No, I don't think I've used that particular endearment before, at least not without it being a direct response to you, but it's not like it's news, and yep, quite possibly I am being more demonstrative than normal because I'm worried about you, but it doesn't mean I feel any less for you the rest of the time, just that I'm not so comfortable saying it all the time as you are."

"You don't have to, cherry pie. I feel it every time we touch, but it doesn't mean that hearin' it once in a while isn't a good thing. A very good thing."

'Okaaay!' Buffy thought, as she watched the tip of his tongue glide over his upper teeth. 'I'm thinking sexage of some description is most definitely now on the menu for tonight.'

"Slow down, there, cowboy. I've got all of that nicely-packaged body of yours to get cleaned up before we start getting you all hot and sweaty again," She squirted out a little of the jade green liquid onto her palm and having placed the bottle back on the counter she rubbed her hands together before massaging the shampoo into his hair. Her fingertips seemed to knead away tense knots that he hadn't even known were there. When she had finished to her satisfaction she dipped her hands in the water near his feet to rinse off the excess soap, letting her fingers trail up the inside of his shin and then his thigh as she straightened back up.

Then, somehow, she was in the bath on top of him. Her underwear was soaked, and her hard, dusky pink nipples were clearly visible through the thin, wet lace. She was excruciatingly aware of the way his warm, smooth cock pressed against the bare flesh of her stomach as he ground his hips up against hers.

They were suddenly startled by a loud yelp, and Rogue stood up, shaking violently to rid herself of the water she had found herself lying in, causing Buffy to raise her hands to shield her eyes as water splashed everywhere. The dog gave the couple a baleful look and ambled off into the bedroom out of their line of sight.

"Reckon you can do the rest just as easy from here." Spike told Buffy as he raised his head for a kiss, finding her palm in the way.

She pushed his head back under the water, running her fingers through the sensuously clinging strands as they were buoyed by the fluid, until the lather had been fully dispersed. Her tiny hands tangled in the wet curls to raise his lips back to hers, claiming the water-warmed flesh in a tender open-mouthed kiss for a never-ending instant. "Reckon I can."

She reached out to find the citrus scented body wash that seemed to be the least girly alternative within arms' length. The movement prevented her from supporting her own body weight, and Spike gave a slight gasp as a sharp hipbone seemed to find a delicate spot. Instantly, Buffy's concern overrode her desire. "Are you okay?"

By way of an answer, Spike let his gaze fall to where her perfectly rounded breasts pressed against his chest through their lace confinement, and bucked his hips, making his dick twitch against her. "I'm more than okay," he answered in a husky whisper. "Stomach's just feelin' a teensy bit worse for wear."

"Sure?" Buffy double-checked, waiting till he nodded to shift back to her knees. She squirted some of the fruity gel onto a sponge, working it with her hands to make a lather. She lifted one of his legs from the water, washing it with soft, careful, circular motions working her way from his foot to where his thigh was covered by the water, before lowering it again, only to do the same with his other leg.

She kept one hand on the edge of the bath as she leant forward, letting the tips of her breasts brush against his legs and then his body, the lace of her bra scraping delicate trails against his skin, until she could reach to resume her task once more, working from his shoulders down to the water level.

Spike watched as she worked, driven to distraction equally by the tantalising rasp of her nipples against his skin and the look of intense concentration she wore. He pulled the sponge from her hand, letting it land wherever it wanted so long as it was out of her reach.

"Don't think we want to go testing my will-power too long right now, beautiful." He slid down enough to rinse away the bubbles from his shoulder. "Let's take this somewhere else?" Spike asked in a husky whisper.

"Whatever you want, Will." Buffy stood up, offering a hand to help him do likewise, but still somewhat surprised when the proud vampire accepted her help without a fuss. She stepped from the tub, lifting the bath towel that lay neatly folded on the counter and passing it to Spike as he joined her.

She watched his face as she removed first her bra and then her panties, that same look of awe in his eyes as had been there the first time they had come together. She drew the remaining towel from the counter, amused to see that it was much larger than the one Spike was currently using to dry his hair. He'd been pretty confident that she was going to get wet, or maybe he'd been a boy scout in his former life.

She wrapped the soft cotton around her body and then pulled the vamp toward their bed. Spike paused to take in the changes she had made to the room. Clannad had faded out but another ballad had replaced it, the female singer's voice rich with feeling. There were tea-lights on almost every available surface and the covers on the bed were turned down ready. He smiled as his hearing caught the soft snore that provided a counterpoint to the music, but even when he noticed the wet puppy curled up on the armchair where he had draped his duster, he couldn't summon up the desire to wake her again and move her.

"Trying to seduce me, baby?" he asked as Buffy led him to the bed, clambering on to kneel in its centre. Spike crawled after her and then over her until she fell back to land with her head amongst the pillows. The vampire wiped a few clinging strands of hair that had become damp from the bathroom's steam away from Buffy's face as she considered her reply.

"Yes and no, I thought we deserved a bit of romance. Whether I got lucky wasn't so important."

"God, I love you, woman." The vampire's words were accompanied by a wash of emotion that had Buffy blinking away her tears before they could fall.

She parted her lips even as he bowed his head to hers, the intensity of the emotions behind that tender taste enough to cause the first spasms to run through her body as it anticipated their union. She slipped an arm around his neck, the other wrapping around his waist as she drew him down to her before rolling them both onto their sides. She hooked a leg over his and pressed against him, her wet lips coating his dick. She rotated her hips slightly as the head of his shaft pressed against her opening.

She drew back from their kiss long enough to whisper in his ear. "Do it, baby."

His eyes searched her face for affirmation before he pushed with his hips, driving into her with a slow, deep thrust. As Buffy felt him enter into her inch by inch, his girth stretching her, she gave a low moan of satisfaction. She felt safe, cherished even, within his arms. Joining with him was like being home, and she knew he felt it, too. Even as he gave a slight roll of his hips to finish the stroke, pushing that extra few millimetres, making his whole cock move slightly inside her and grinding her clit between them, she felt the first tremors begin. Spike closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip, focusing on the pain until her first, small orgasm had passed, before he began to move within her, concentrating on making her feel every tantalising inch as he moved in and out, trying to draw out this perfect interlude as long as he could, his pace unconsciously matching the tempo of the music that filled the room.

Buffy's mouth captured his once more, her tongue finding where he had bitten into his own flesh and he knew she must be able to taste his blood. Her hips met his with perfect timing over and over. Their hands skated over the other's bodies, first in light caresses that ruffled only tiny hairs and made the skin tingle, later those same fingers clutching tight in the intensity of the emotions around them. Spike's digits curved over Buffy's shoulders from behind, anchoring her as he pushed up into her. Buffy had one arm wrapped around Spike's neck, the other she used to grip Spike's perfect ass, using it as well as the leg that hooked around him to draw herself to him again and again. All the physical sensations were as nothing though, beneath the waves of love, need, passion and joy that reverberated through and around the couple.

Buffy shivered in anticipation of the climax she knew was coming soon. She stretched out the hand that was wrapped around Spike's neck until she could feel where her claim scar had yet to heal. At the first touch, Spike froze inside her for a second and then he shifted his grip on her shoulders so that he could follow her lead, using the acute sensitivity of the spot that symbolised the bond between them so that they both came together, Spike's roar as audible to everyone in the house as Buffy's scream.

"I love you so much, baby," Spike whispered as they both collapsed back onto the pillows.

Buffy didn't say anything. She simply put her efforts into using the empathic bond between them to convey to her lover how she felt right that instant, and for all the vampire liked to hear the words now and again they could never have intimated quite so clearly the intensity of how she felt.
 
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