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Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by TalesofSpike
 
Chapter 5.01
 
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Note: Thanks to my beta t_geyer for her unending patience, perseverance and support.

SECTION 5 - TURN! TURN! TURN!

To every thing, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn,turn,
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

((Pete Seeger) - The Byrds - 1965
Normally, I would try to pick part of the song that seemed most appropriate, but how do you cut any of this?





Chapter 5.01
Sunday, May 19th, 2002

By the time Buffy had found the spare sheets and settled Faith on the sofa in the living room, Spike was already vacating the bathroom, leaving the facilities free for her. The vampire had been unusually quiet and Buffy was concerned that perhaps the psychological effects of this latest situation were going to prove even more drastic than the physical ones. Yet, when she pulled the towel-clad vampire into a hug as they passed in the doorway their bond gave no hint of any anxiety, simply an overwhelming weariness.

"S'all yours, pet," he told her before he pressed a soothing kiss against her temple.

"Are we talking about the shower or that lily-white butt of yours?"

Even though it seemed to be all the platinum blond could do to keep his eyes open, his mouth couldn't help but curve up at one side. "Both, but unless you plan on washing the sheets tomorrow, I'd go for the shower first."

Buffy gave a mock frown. "Are you saying I'm stinky?"

"Only in that you smell like you've been crawling round in a drain and then wiped your hands on your hair."

"There go your chances of getting lucky tonight, Fang Face."

"An' I thought you gave the bint the sofa so she could hear exactly what she's never gonna experience first hand."

"No-o-o!" Buffy denied vehemently before colouring under the vamp's gaze. "Well... maybe... just a little bit." She wrinkled her nose and held up her thumb and forefinger millimetres apart. "Teeny, weeny, little bit."

Spike leaned in to gently brush his nose against Buffy's before lifting her hands from around his waist and turning her to face the bathroom once more. "Go on, love. I'll be waiting when you get back."

"You're sure?" Buffy asked with feigned sternness. "Last time you told me you weren't going anywhere you took a dive out of the window."

"That'd be interestin' dressed like this..."

"Yeah, well, unless you want your other girlfriend to sprain another leg you better not." Buffy nodded to where Rogue lay on the bed, chewing at the wrapping on her leg. "Between that and getting clubbed in the head, the poor thing's not doing so well."

"She gets to share a bed with the most gorgeous woman in the world. In my book that makes her the luckiest dog on the planet."

"You're biased, and I have a feeling she's more interested in the bed's male occupant, so you better go keep her company before she worries at that bandage enough that we have to put on that awful cone thing that the vet sent home with her."

"As you wish, sweetness."

Buffy wasn't sure if she imagined the brush of his lips against the tip of her nose before he turned and gave her a firm push in the direction of the shower. By the time she had removed her sweater, he had joined Rogue on the bed that was still smack in the middle of the room. Buffy only hoped that the protection circle that surrounded it would give all three of them a night free from any further evil influences.







Monday, May 20th, 2002

By the time Buffy was convinced that she had rid herself of any subterranean-type smells she wasn't entirely surprised to discover than Spike had yet again succumbed to fatigue. He lay sprawled over most of the bed, face down and Rogue was managing to fill any gaps that he had left. His right leg was drawn up slightly in front of him and his cheek rested against his right forearm as if he'd started off lying on his left side and then just let himself fall over onto his front. Rogue lay lengthwise along one edge of the bed, drool from her soft, Great Dane-like jowls pooling on the pillow next to Spike's arm as she watched him with huge, dark chocolate eyes.

"So much for not needing to wash the sheets tomorrow," Buffy muttered before she turned out the lights and climbed under the covers.

She draped her naked body over Spike's like an extra blanket, pressing her face against his spine so that, with every breath she took, his fresh, clean scent reassured her of his continued presence. The fingers of her right hand sought out those of his and twined them together and her thigh followed the line of his before her foot reached out to rest on top of his shin. At no point was there an unnecessary space between them. If he so much as drew breath, she would be aware of it. It was entirely subconscious, but she wasn't taking any chances on his not being there when she woke.

She needn't have worried. Just like he had promised he was waiting for her.








The gently undulating ground was draped in a carpet of pale blue-violet as far as she could see. Almost every inch of ground that wasn't home to a tree, the first leaves of spring barely formed on their boughs, had been overrun by the mass of bluebells. The air was fresh but the sun shone from a clear sky so that she suspected soon it would warm them. Spike turned, walking backwards on the narrow track that ran alongside a shallow stream so that he could watch her reactions as he led her hand in hand through the woodland.

"Is this place real? Or did you make it up?" she asked, her voice betraying her wonder and her face splitting into an enchanted smile as she caught a glimpse of a red squirrel darting along a branch and into a hole in the trunk of a tree.

"This, pet, is home. Was home. It's probably all been bulldozed now to make way for a couple of hundred identical houses not big enough for Snow White's mates to live in, but this is it how it was when I was growing up." The vampire looked down at his Doc Martens as if embarrassed. "I wanted to take you somewhere I had never been with Dru. Somewhere special but without any of that baggage."

"So where exactly does this rabbit run we're walking on go?"

The vamp gave her a mischievous grin, lapis eyes dancing with light. "To the pool where I used to go skinny dipping. Of course, the company back then wasn't anything like as enticing."

"It'll be freezing."

"Scared?"

"As if!"

"Well, I suppose, if you want to, you can. Personally, I'd wait for summer, though. Bluebell season's just a bit early in the year. I was thinking of a blanket and a bottle or two of champagne by the water's edge."

"Beast!"

"To your Beauty." He picked her up in his arms, lifting her so that she had to look down to see his face as he spun her round and round till her laughter sent all the birds, of whose song she had only dimly been aware, flapping into the air in alarm.

She swayed slightly on her feet as he set her down, laughing with her for a second before with a quirk of his scarred eyebrow he said, "Race you!" and took off along the path.

Milliseconds later, still light-headed, she took off in pursuit, their black leather coats fanning out behind them as they ran. The track crested a shallow rise and Spike stopped abruptly, turning to watch Buffy's face as she caught the first glimpse of the sun dappled pond... if she didn't just run straight over him to win the race without even noticing the scenery.

She pulled up just in time to avoid colliding with him, her eyes drinking in the vista that swamped her senses. Then one of them closed the narrow gap and his lips met hers. Strong arms scooped her off her feet, and he carried her over the familiar terrain without ever lifting his gaze from her face. Sinking to his knees to lay her gently on the softest of blankets, he bent over her once more, reclaiming her lips with a tenderness of which she would once have thought him incapable.

Tensing momentarily, Buffy pushed him up slightly and tilted her head on one side. "Can you hear that?"

The vampire strained unsuccessfully to make out what she was referring to. "What, pet?"

The slayer giggled. "The sound of all our clothes disappearing."

Spike looked down and sure enough both he and Buffy were now naked. "Minx!"

"Well, you picked the scenery you wanted. My turn to pick mine, and I like it pale..." She traced the column of his neck with a languorous stroke of her finger tip, letting it drift over the imprint of her teeth until he gasped for unneeded breath. "Chiselled like a statue by Michelangelo..." The tip of her tongue peeked out briefly to tease him before reappearing to trace the hollow under one cheek bone as the fingers of each hand followed the sharply delineated muscles of his upper arms. "But far better equipped." She placed a playful peck on the tip of his nose. "There should always be at least a hint of blue." Her lips brushed so softly against each eyelid in turn that they seemed to tingle for seconds after he reopened his eyes. "And, of course, for an optimal experience, the scene is best..." With slayer speed she flipped them both over, so that she straddled him, the partially erect length of his dick, brushing against her hot, wet folds as she slowly shifted back and forth. "...Viewed from above."

Her tongue swept over her lips to moisten them and for the vampire it was the final straw. His head dropped back with a groan, his hands fisting into the blanket on either side of him as he succumbed to the sensations she caused. Back... and forth. Back... and forth. Slowly she tortured him again and again, until every inch from his foreskin to his balls was drenched in her fragrant juices. His hands stilled her motion at the apex of her movement, and her eyes searched his face for a fraction of a second before he slid down through her legs.

"Stay with me, baby," he pleaded as he slid first one arm then the other between her thighs, changing his grip on her hips as he did so. "Concentrate on us, on both of us, here together." Then, he lowered her lips to his. His tongue tasted her strawberry sweetness, its tip collecting pooled drops of salty fluid, fragranced with his own pre cum from her swollen flesh. When he flattened his tongue to give a broad lick that spread her open above him she gasped his name and he could feel her thighs tremble at either side of his head. More than that, he could taste her desire, her anticipation and most important of all her love. His fingers gripped her hips more firmly holding her in position over him as he sought out and found the bundle of nerves that pulsed with the excitement in her blood. What had begun as a tremor magnified to an earthquake as his tongue circled the centre of her passion. Her upper body tipped forward and she locked her elbows to prevent herself from collapsing entirely. His lips closed around the bud and he sucked rhythmically at it as if he were a nursing infant infusing each touch with devotion and awe at her perfection.

"Ahh... Ahh..." Buffy began to moan incoherently in rhythm with his lips' movements but when his teeth latched on, gripping just tight enough that his tongue could flick over her clit like the wing beats of a hummingbird the moans merged into one. Her determination matched her euphoria as she screamed his name, struggling to remain with him as her orgasm shuddered through her. It wasn't that which held her there, though. It was her fear that if she let him go, even for second, then he would slip through her fingers like so much silt in the bottom of a storm drain.








"Shhh, honey... Shh." Spike pulled the flailing slayer into a hug so tight that she was forced to stop beating her fists against his chest. "Shhh. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I watched you die. How am I meant to not be scared? How can I be in this place where I'm meant to deal with these things and ignore the fact I watched you burn?"

Spike held her tight and put everything he could into their bond, trying to reassure her. "It wasn't me, baby. I know it doesn't help but it wasn't me. It was just the bad guys messin' with that pretty head of yours."

"But it could have been, you selfish prick. Who gave you the right to give up on us? Who gave you the right to walk out on us? What if he hadn't brought you round? What if he hadn't picked a fight? What if he'd just dumped you in a corner and left you there unconscious until you burned up like so much dry grass in a brush fire? Do you know how much I hate you right now?"

"I'd say 'round about as much as you love me," the vampire answered solemnly.

"You nearly died..." Buffy hicupped through her tears. "...And you never even gave me a chance to help, or to talk you 'round. You would have just been gone. No goodbye, no body even, no way to ever know for sure what had happened to you. I hate this. I hate being scared like this. I hate that you make me feel this way."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I wish I could take the easy way out and tell you it was the poison, that I wasn't thinking straight, that it won't happen again and that might be partly it, but I could never choose to harm you or our Bitty Buffy. I'd make that same call whether I was hallucinating or sober as an alkie with a ten year chip. I thought I was a danger to Dawn, so I got myself away from her..."

"Is that meant to make me feel better?"

"No." Spike stroked his girl's hair as he responded to her bitter question. "It's meant to be the truth. I can't tell you that I'll never ever go. All I can say is that I'll never want to. You are my whole world; you an' Bit an' Glinda. I just couldn't live with myself ...or the other two, if I hurt one of you three. It still leaves you with way less to be scared of than I've got...

Don't you think I know that sooner rather than later you'll make that same choice you made on that damn tower. There's... You can count the people I care enough to die for on your tiny, little fingers and have some left over, but then, I'm basically a selfish git. There's a whole damn world waitin' for you to make that damn sacrifice... And sooner or later you will because that's who you are. That's the girl I fell in love with an' I can't do nothin' but hold onto you like I never want to let you go and hope that before that day comes we make every minute we have together count." The fingers, that had soothed her, pushed into her tresses instead of gliding over them and he used the grip to tilt back her head so that her teary eyes looked into his own, forcing her to acknowledge the same fear there. "Every... damn... minute," he whispered before he pulled her to him, his lips staking their claim on hers with a forcefulness that was inescapable, but then her desperation was every bit as great as his own.

There was no finesse, no foreplay, no tenderness or sweetness. Every nerve ending sang with unadulterated need and instinct immediately took over. If not for their earlier lovemaking, his savage thrusts, each one driving her body inches across the blanket at her back, would have ripped and torn at her insides. She planted her feet flat and arced up under him but not to lessen her pain or to give a smoother angle of penetration. It was as if she were compelled to meet each primal stroke with a ferocity to match his own. It was too intense to last. As soon as shortness of breath forced the slayer to yank her head away from her demon lover with his questing tongue and razor sharp fangs, his teeth found a home in her neck and with a howl of pain and unbearable pleasure Buffy followed suit.

His blood filled her mouth as the spasms of her muscles milked his seed from him and she almost gagged before she managed to swallow it and free her cries into the clear blue morning. With every push his semen spilled into her but his shaft continued to ram home as if it were made of iron. Her nails raked the skin from his back as orgasm built on orgasm and still he moved inside her, hitting every pleasure-giving spot over and over, her clit crushed between them with each momentous drive. His fangs stayed locked in her aching flesh giving ecstasy and exquisite pain in equal measure.

Minutes passed and her animalistic cries filled the air between gasps as the impact of each meeting drove the air from her lungs. Her knees finally gave way and she knew she had reached the absolute limit of her endurance. Again she bit into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, only just holding back the instinct to rip a chunk from his flesh. She had to use all her strength to lift his head so that with an aching kiss she could reopen the tears in her tongue against his fangs. Ripping into his own tongue as he pulled away, he drew the bleeding muscle over the teeth marks in her neck even as her actions mirrored his.

"Mine!" Each howled their dominion over the other.

Both gasped for air as Spike rolled them so that Buffy was on top and the hammering of her pulse finally began to slow to a near normal rate. "Yours," Spike whispered in her ear before nipping at its lobe with a demonic incisor.

It was several more seconds before Buffy managed to accede to his claim with a breathy sigh. "Always yours, Will. Always."

The transition from dream to waking was abrupt, the jagged boundary marked by jumbled visions of the cerise-haired girl being pursued through a maze of nighttime streets and alleys, with only the German names and street signs providing any clue to her location.

Buffy's eyes sought out Spike's even as her movement made her painfully aware that the vampire was still fully erect inside her.

"This one's still alive," she whispered.

"Until tonight... I know."
 
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