“How’s it going in there?” Buffy asked, poking her head into the kitchen.

“Hey Buffy!” greeted an excited Willow, “I think the antidote is almost done. It just has to simmer a little while longer.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose, “Is it going to taste as bad as it smells?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt Spike’s arms wrap around her waist, pulling her back flush against his chest. He rested his chin on her shoulder as he said, “No worries, pet. I’ll give you some sugar to help the medicine go down.” He snuggled his nose against her hair, dropping little kisses along her neck.

Buffy laughed, covering Spike’s hands with her own. She turned her face to his, “Since when do you quote Mary Poppins?”

Spike sent her a sheepish smile, “Since Nibblet decided I needed an all night Disney marathon a few weeks ago.”

Buffy looked over at Dawn who had abandoned her door swinging duties and was looking quite smug. Seeing the quizzical expression on her sister’s face, Dawn explained, “The man thought ‘Bambi’ was about a porn star. I had to do something!”

Spike released his grip on Buffy and headed to the refrigerator. His cheeks had flushed out of embarrassment and he mumbled, “Bloody awful name for a buck if you ask me.”

Buffy smiled, watching as Spike grabbed a carton of orange juice from the fridge. I wonder if I’ve even seen Spike blush before... That thought caused the smile to fade as she came to understand something she did not want to be true: I’m hallucinating.

The room started spinning around Buffy as more unpleasant thoughts entered Buffy’s mind. Why can’t I remember anything? My stay in Hell, Spike’s proposal, my wedding vows, Spike’s first sunburn?! If this is where I belong, then I should know every last detail! But I don’t. Please, please let me remember! I want this to be real, PLEASE be real!

Xander had noticed the color drain from his friend’s face, “Buff?”

Spike turned his attention from the glass of juice he was pouring in time to see his wife collapse. Spike dropped the carton, sending its contents spilling across the floor, and rushed to her side. “Buffy! Buffy, can you hear me?”

After a couple minutes, consciousness began to return to Buffy. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing a very worried Spike staring back at her.

“What happened?” she asked weakly.

“You must have passed out, luv,” answered Spike. He placed his arm around her back, lifting her slowly to her feet. “How do you feel?”

“Ok, I guess.” However, she was still a little wobbly, so she leaned herself against him.

“Buffy?” asked Spike.

“Hmm?” she replied, nuzzling her head into his chest and hugging him tight. Just being near him made her feel stronger.

Spike gently placed his hands on her back and sighed. “Not that I’m not enjoyin’ this, but...”

Spike’s voice had trailed off, but Buffy knew what it was that he was going to say. She pulled her head away and looked into his eyes, “I’m back, aren’t I?”

Buffy expected some snide comment or that devilish smirk of his, but instead Spike just nodded and said, “Sorry, luv.”

Buffy released her grip around Spike and took a couple steps back. Spike diverted his eyes uncomfortably, trying to focus on anything other than Buffy. “No Spike, I’m the one that should be sorry.”

Spike turned his attention back to Buffy, narrowing his eyes and slightly tilting his head as if trying to understand what he was hearing. Buffy noticed, but continued, “You have done so much for me these past few years and all you get in return is a bloody nose. I mean, have I thanked you at all for protecting Dawn over the summer?”

Still a bit stunned from the Buffy’s heart felt apology, Spike just shook his head.

“See?! God, I’m such a bitch!”

“Ay! None of that now,” interrupted Spike, “I’m the only one that gets to call you a bitch around here.”

A small grin escaped Buffy’s lips. “There it is,” Spike said, “I knew I could get a smile out of you.”

Her cheeks reddening a little, Buffy said, “Anyway, thanks. Thank you for helping my friends while I was, well, dead. Thank you for being there for Dawn... and most of all for me. I know the whole ‘I was in heaven’ thing must have been hard to hear. It wasn’t an easy thing to say, that’s for sure. But, I do want you to know that I told you for a reason.”

Spike arched his scarred eyebrow, using Buffy’s own words against her, “Because I ‘just happened to be lurkin’ outside’?”

“Actually, that was part of the reason,” she said defensively. “But really, I told you because I knew that you would listen. My friends didn’t want to hear about how much I was hurting. They wanted me to come back and act like I had never left at all. But you, you were the one person who didn’t expect anything from me. So, thank you.”

Lowering his head, Spike said, “I’m not a person, remember?”

Buffy stepped closer to him, bending her head down to meet his eyes. “Hey,” she said, waiting as he raised his head back up. She gave him a big smile and whispered, “You are to me.”

When Buffy had finished, she waited for some sort of response from Spike. For a few long seconds, they stood in silence, each one processing what was just said. “Well,” spoke up Spike, finally, “In that case, you’re welcome.”

The two of them heard heavy footsteps approaching the kitchen and both of them turned their heads to the entrance in anticipation. When Xander walked in, Buffy noticed he was holding her tranquilizer gun. “Hey Buffy,” he said, nodding in her direction. Xander then turned to Spike and said, “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Spike answered, heading out of the kitchen.

“Wait, where are you guys going?” asked Buffy.

Spike continued of the room, but Xander replied, “We’ve got a demon to find.”

“Xander, wait a minute,” said Buffy, hurrying over to her friend.

“Ok, but make it quick,” Xander relented, “Tara did a locator spell to track down the demon, but it might not be there for long.”

“I, um, I talked to Anya. The ‘other’ Anya.”

Xander’s eyes widened, “And?”

Buffy bit her bottom lip, not quite sure how to break the news. “Well, um. She kind of told me that there’s a remote possibility that she would... uh... got to a friend’s place.”

Xander looked hopeful as he asked, “Whose place? Where?”

Damn. “Uh, well... she wasn’t very specific,” lied Buffy.

“What do you mean? What did she say?”

“You know,” Buffy continued, “She said something about releasing her pain and that was it.” Well, part of that is true!

“Oh.” Xander’s disappointed was evident, “Thanks for trying, Buff.”

“Sure thing.”

Xander turned to leave, when Buffy called after him, “Xander?”

“Yeah?”

She heard Anya’s words playing over again in her head: ‘To exact some vengeance, of course. ...the pain of a thousand searing pokers...’ Buffy sighed, “Be careful out there.”