Dear Diary,

I felt it again last night. Ok yeah, I know you’re gonna ask, so I'll go ahead and tell ya now so you can laugh at me. I felt Spike. I know, I know. It couldn’t be Spike. He’s gone. Dust at the bottom of the once Sunnydale crater. But still, it felt just like him. That same tingle that washes up and down my spine like no other, it damn near takes me over. Takes me back to a place I don't want to go, I'm trying my hardest to forget.

At first, I paid it no mind. Ok, tried to at least. But it wouldn’t work. The harder I tried to shake the feeling off as remorse and regret, the stronger it seemed to grow.

I gave in Diary; I went looking for the source of it. Found 3 fledges, I dusted them before they could take a bite out of their dinner and a Vengeance demon talking to a poor unsuspecting girl on a bench. I could swear it was Halfrek. I didn’t even bother to run her off. Ok, but that’s neither here nor there.

I never found the source of the tingle. It left as fast as it came. Guess it really was just another of my mental Buffy moments. I get lost in my memories of him and it’s like all of a sudden he’s here with me. Near me.

If only….



Buffy Summers
March 4, 2006
London, UK