3. Rendezvous

The next several days dragged by slowly for Buffy. As she listlessly continued her nightly patrols, she found her mind wandering back to her latest encounter with Angelus. She couldn’t quite figure out when things had changed between them. Their last meeting had started the same way they always did: with each of them intending to kill the other.

But that last time it hadn’t ended that way. She had fallen asleep in his arms, and he had let her leave of her own free will. She couldn’t understand his actions. If it had been the other way around, she would have staked the unconscious vampire without a moment’s remorse. Wouldn’t she?

The sex had been fantastic, but she had no illusions about it. It was just sex. All she could think was that something about being so near to death must have triggered a reflex reaction. She had heard about how people who had near death experiences often felt a profound need to reaffirm life afterwards – often through increased sexuality. Something like that must have happened to her. Because she had taken Angelus to bed willingly this last time. She still couldn’t justify it rationally.

She sighed, twirling her stake carelessly while she meandered through the gravestones. She no longer cared if she slayed anything or not. Instead her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of hard skin and wet kisses. Unconvincingly she tried to tell herself that it was Angel she was fantasizing about and not his evil twin. God, how had she ever gotten herself into such a predicament?

But what was done was done. Even if the attraction was only physical, (of course it was only physical!), she had to admit that her body now ached for his.

Any sane person could tell that Angelus was most emphatically not Angel. Angelus was not the man she had fallen in love with. Every moment she spent with him was another moment when he could have killed her. Her life had been in danger the entire time they were together. In fact, she had very nearly died.

But her body didn’t seem to care. She had partaken of the forbidden fruit, and now her body wanted his desperately. She was determined to be stronger than her primal urges.

Unhappily she was coming to realize that she was just as miserable now as she had been when Angelus had first made his presence known. Perhaps more so. But she would deal.

She just had to keep telling herself that she did not want Angelus. Absolutely not. Definitely. No way. She would stake him as soon as she saw him. No chance of parole. No conversation, and definitely no kissing. No touching of any kind. None.

No sooner had she made this resolve, than she felt his presence nearby. Fine. She was ready for him. She got out her stake.

She heard him before she saw him. After a moment she made out his form through the bushes. He was not more than ten feet in front of her, fighting for his life.

As she watched, another vampire burst into dust besides him, and the two huge demons that were attacking him redoubled their efforts. Demons attacking demons? That was unusual, but not unheard of.

Without conscious thought Buffy spurred towards the fight, crying out as she watched one of the demons slice a gash through Angel’s stomach, while the other tried to circle around him and attack from behind.

By the time she was close enough to affect the outcome, Angel was already flat on his back on the ground. Quickly Buffy attacked the demon that had slashed him with the sword, grabbing the weapon from its startled grasp and slicing off its head. Without the element of surprise, the second kill was harder than the first. She could see how two of these things could seriously challenge an equal number of vamps, even if one of them was Angel. It was a good thing she had gotten hold of the other one’s sword, even if it wasn’t her favorite weapon. It had a long reach, and she needed that against a much larger opponent.

With a last grunt, she finally got the thing to stop moving. She wished demons disintegrated like vamps did, so she could be sure that it was dead. At least it had had the good graces to fall over into a bush, so it was pretty much hidden from view. She wondered if there was something that lived in Sunnydale that took care of all the dead bodies – because it there wasn’t the town would smell like a charnel house.

Bad guys disposed of, she rinsed her hands off in a nearby water fountain, then turned her eyes back to the prone figure on the ground. At least Angel wasn’t dust, so she knew that he’d be okay.

The vampire didn’t move at all as she approached, and if she didn’t know that he’d have dusted if he were dead, she would have been more worried. Bending over and pulling back the tattered remains of his shirt to inspect his wounds, she belatedly realized what she had done.

The vampire that she had rushed to protect was Angelus, not Angel. In the heat of the moment she hadn’t thought, just reacted. She had risked her own life to save the vampire she had just sworn to herself that she was going to dust! Instinctively she had seen him in danger, and rushed to protect him.

Damn him! Now what was she supposed to do? If he had tried to attack her, or if he had been harming an innocent, she wouldn’t have hesitated to stake him. Isn’t that what she had just told herself? There would have been no question of letting him live. But seeing him lying there completely helpless, injured and unmoving, she just couldn’t leave him. What if the thing that came for the demon bodies took Angelus as well?

While Buffy was wrestling with her conscience, Angelus was slowly beginning to come around. At first he wasn’t sure where he was. Then he remembered fighting the Toloid demons, being concerned as he’d watched his companion Vergil turn to dust. But he didn’t remember Buffy being involved. After all, she would have little part in a clan war.

Angelus didn’t like showing weakness in front of Buffy. Although he was now conscious, he was still in a precarious position. It would take a while for his wounds to heal. He just thanked the stars that for some reason she wasn’t trying to kill him, or he knew that he’d already be dead. Weren’t they mortal enemies?

Of course the last time they had met, he had let her go. Maybe she was just returning the favor. But then again, something had seemed to change between them that day. She had repaid him by dusting his minion, but he was rather glad to be rid of the ancient crone anyway. She had served her purpose.

For the moment at least he was at a disadvantage, so he wasn’t going to complain if there was a cease in the hostilities. If Buffy wanted to continue the truce, he was good with that.

Clearing the dust from his throat he raised his head to speak to her, attempting to sound even weaker than he really was. He didn’t really know how she was going to react to his being awake. Just in case he had to act quickly, he wanted to be sure that she would over estimate his injuries.

Shaken by the way Angelus seemed so weak, Buffy was again reminded of Angel. Not that Angel had been weak, but he had been cautious around her – never letting her see his true potential. Angelus was not like that. Her rational self knew that the vampire in her lap was dangerous, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel it. She had to keep reminding herself to be suspicious of every move he made.

Somehow as he struggled to speak, her unconscious again took control, and all she could think was to ask, “Angel, are you going to be okay?”

He smiled weakly. “Sure. Just a little winded. They caught us by surprise. Stupid really. You’d think that I’d know better at my age.”

She smiled a little at that. He had actually made a joke! For now at least he seemed quite content to rest in her lap. And was he actually flirting with her?

“Why were you fighting another demon?” The question popped out before she could control it.

“Just a little disagreement.” Trying to pull himself together he looked directly into her sea green eyes and told her the truth, wondering how she would react to it. “You wouldn’t think it to look at me just now, but I am the Master of Sunnydale. Some folks took exception to the idea. They’ll all fall in line soon.”

“Master of Sunnydale! Guess I should have stayed out of it. If I had let them kill you for me, it would have made my life so much easier.”

She had saved him? He hadn’t known that. He’d thought it had been Vergil.

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Guess we’re even now.” She looked surprised so he elaborated. “I didn’t kill you when I had the chance. You returned the favor.”

She thought back to the events of the week before. “I suppose. Though I’m not sure why I rescued you. I didn’t mean to. They were attacking you. I didn’t think, I just reacted.” She moved her hands to tear off a piece of his shirt to help stem the flow of his blood. “I wouldn’t count on it happening again. As soon as I get you fixed up, we’ll be back to the being enemies thing.”

“That’s my Buffy,” he laughed softly, making sure to turn it into a hacking cough before falling silent again. “All with the making no sense. Why not just have done with it and dust me now?”

Tensely waiting for her reply, he made no move to leave her embrace. Of course, he wasn’t quite as incapacitated as he was pretending, but she had piqued his interest. Would she really just let him go free without any repercussions?

“I …I’m not really sure. I guess, like you said, cause you let me go last time. It just doesn’t seem fair to dust you when you’re all helpless and everything.” She paused to sigh, looking into his eyes as if she might find his soul hiding there. “Why did you do you let me go, anyway?” Unconsciously her hand was fondling the hair at the back of his neck.

For a moment, he let himself enjoy the caress as their eyes met and held.

“Dunno. Didn’t really feel like killing you right at that moment, I guess. Didn’t want to take unfair advantage.”

“Angelus, not wanting to take unfair advantage. Why does that seem odd?”

“Hey, demons have honor.” He was offended now. “Just because I am no longer the vamp you knew, just because we’re enemies now, doesn’t mean I don’t want to take you fair and square.”

Even as the words left his lips he knew that he didn’t mean what he said, or at least, not the way he had at first intended. Oh, he wanted to take her fair and square all right, but he wanted to take her right here in the grass, repeatedly. Not necessarily in a violent way, although that would be okay too. And although there might be some blood involved, it wasn’t her death that he was interested in. She still had her hand in his hair, and pretty soon he was gonna have to touch her, or he was going to explode.

“God, why do you have to make this harder? If you’d been all Grrr, I wouldn’t have hesitated to dust you. But now, with the wounding, and the talking, you seem more and more like Angel and less like Angelus.”

Why were her words making him so angry? Wasn’t that the plan, to make her confuse the two of them so he’d be able to catch her unawares? Inexplicably, it was suddenly important to him that she realize the truth.

Turning his face away from her he almost growled his reply. “I’m not. I’m not Angel. Even if sometimes I remind you of him, I am not him. I will never be him.”

“I know. But something – I’ve been thinking about it. I decided that I believe what you said about him being inside you somewhere. He can’t…he can’t just be gone. Besides, you’re a lot like him in many ways.” Without consciously willing it her hand had slipped from behind his neck and was now cupping his face.

Her hand was warm and soft, and smelled so good. He could hear her pulse pick up as she realized how intimately they were entwined. He found he couldn’t help himself, and didn’t want to. The words just slipped out. “Buffy. I missed you.”

“I highly doubt that, Angelus. Especially since after this little scene is over, we’ll go back to trying to kill each other.” Something in his tone wasn’t right. She took her hand away from his face and glanced behind her trying to locate her weapons.

Angelus didn’t miss the gesture, but chose instead to ignore the implied threat. Instead he reached for her face, but she jerked away from his touch. He had to settle for holding her hand firmly between both of his. He told himself it was to keep her from actually reaching for a weapon. Gently caressing her thumb, he could feel the pulse of life flowing through it.

“I’m sure that you felt it too, Buffy. I can tell how your body reacts to mine. We belong together – not fighting.”

Again he tried to touch her face, but this time Buffy slipped out from under him, letting him fall heavily to the ground. She grabbed for the stake, but he didn’t try to stop her. He judged that his best defense now was to continue to appear helpless. And to keep her talking.

“I know you try to fight it, Buffy. I fought it too. I don’t know why I want you. I only know that I do.” God help him, it was the truth.

He had spent fruitless hours agonizing over his attraction to the girl who intended to make him dust. He didn’t know what to blame it on. Was it the remains of the ghost possession? More disturbing yet, was it the result of the soul’s influence? Or, he really tried hard to convince himself, did he just want another taste of her blood and another good hard fuck?

He didn’t know, and that just made him angrier. Only thing that he was sure of was that he wasn’t ready to kill her just yet, if he didn’t have to. He’d rather avoid a fight all together, but if it came to it, he wasn’t going to just lay here and let himself be staked either.

Some other accommodation would have to be reached, before he drove himself mad with wanting her. After that first time, he kept thinking that once he’d had her again, he would be able to get her out of his system and move on. Unfortunately she seemed to be having the opposite effect on him. Having had her twice now just made him want her more.

“This is so not happening.” Buffy’s mouth was moving, and the words were coming out, but her body told another tale. She was holding her stake too low, her posture was all wrong.

Seemingly without transition Angelus was suddenly standing up and encroaching on her personal space. In another second he was holding her arms useless, pinned to her sides against the grass as he leaned in to kiss her.

‘This is wrong,’ Buffy’s thoughts echoed his own. Angelus knew this wasn’t what he should be doing. But he also knew that he wasn’t going to stop. Not until they were both too tired to stand.

The grass that had been cold and wet underneath him now felt soft and welcoming, like Buffy’s arms that had come up to encircle him. Compared to Buffy, Dru’s ardor held little appeal. Drusilla’s embrace was only a shadow of what he could experience with the Slayer. An inconsequential dalliance to fill the void until the moment he could feel Buffy surrounding him again.

Licking her lips with his tongue he could feel her warmth and her breath tickling his senses. Pressing his blunt teeth against her bottom lip he drew it into his mouth, sucking gently at the tiny bead of blood that formed there. Releasing her lip he followed it back to her mouth, and then his tongue was inside her. Thrusting inside her mouth, he heard her moan.

Caressing his broad back, Buffy struggled to pull his soiled shirt out of the way, so she could run her hands over his cool flesh. At the same time he used one hand to unfasten his zip, while the other was stroking up the inside of her thighs, pushing her short skirt higher than it was ever meant to be. The thought came unbidden, ‘Gotta love these skirts she wears, such easy access.’

Her blouse wasn’t so lucky, as he ripped it open so his mouth could find her nipple. Pushing the brassiere out of the way he, worried the sensitive point with his teeth, drawing another tiny bead of blood, as she moaned again.

Her center was already wet and inviting as he teased her opening with his fingers. Without waiting for her consent he ripped her panties away and plunged himself into her fiery passage. She was just as tight and warm, as she had been the first time. He thrust himself against her harder, pressing her legs up and to the side so that he could enter her as deeply as possible. Her hips came up off the grass to meet him, coming hard as he tore into the delicate flesh surrounding her nipple. The taste of her blood enflamed him. She may have cum already, but he was far from done with her.

Kissing her briefly, he lifted her so that she was now straddling him as he lay in the grass. It should have been painful, but the wound in his stomach had already healed.

Using his hands to guide her he helped her find a rhythm that was pleasing to them both. As he looked up he could see her moving on top of him, his teeth marks and her blood still staining her breasts. She looked so beautiful with his marks on her. He brought his mouth to her blood-streaked chest and suckled at her teat until they both came.

As Buffy pulled away for a moment to allow herself to breathe, she finally heard the small voice in her head that had been screaming the entire time she had been helpless to stop herself from returning Angelus’s passion.

‘This is so very wrong. I should be trying to stake him. Why aren’t I trying to stake him?’

As they lay exhausted on the lawn, worn out from their mutual climaxes, she turned to him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She had tried so hard to understand Angelus. To understand herself. But it was still wrong.

“Why aren’t you trying to kill me?” she moaned. “You had every opportunity. These last few days, there have been so many moments when I wished that I was dead.”

“I don’t want you dead.”

“But I can’t be with a monster,” she moaned. “You’re a killer, a murderer. I can’t be with you. You’re evil.” But she still lay supine in his arms in the grass. She hadn’t even rolled away.

Angelus thought how to answer her. Something that wouldn’t be quite a lie, he knew that she would be able to sense it. But Angelus was a master at twisting the truth to suit his own purposes. “Maybe, evil is as evil does. Somehow when I am with you, I don’t think about being evil or not evil. All I know is that I want you.”

“God help me,” she sobbed. “I want you too. And how sick is that? You, you …forced me.” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word rape. “But when we are together, now, I don’t think about good and evil either.” Snuggling closer she let her hands draw circles around his nipples. “And you’re still with the not wanting to kill me? What’s up with that?”

“Don’t think it’s any altruistic effort on my part,” he laughed. “Just enlightened self-interest. Why tangle with the Slayer when we can just as easily live and let live? Plus the fringe benefits aren’t bad.” He was making light of it, but the alternative nearly made him ill. He wasn’t sure that he could bring himself to kill the Slayer now.

It was a big decision. And he was having fun with the Slayer just the way she was for the time being. Provided he could keep his natural instincts in check, he’d give it a little longer before he made up his mind either way.