A/N: Thanks to you all who have reviewed :D


Willow was tired. Willow was drained. Willow was burdened with guilt. Willow didn’t want to be bothered. She had got up that morning and attempted to make breakfast for everyone, replacing her infamous “guilt cookies.” Somewhere between putting the food into the hot frying pan and Spike bursting into the kitchen partially aflame, she lost her zest for trying to make it up to the Summers’ for the other night. She was not only all magicked out, she was all talked out and done for the moment of trying to appease her own guilt. She left Buffy and Spike to their usual banter— hey it wasn’t like she was a huge participant in the sport of banter anyway. She just wanted to sleep.

She walked through the living room and bumped pass Dawn on her way up the stairs.

“Morning, Daw—" But Dawn kept going, giving her the proverbial cold shoulder. “That’s okay. Didn’t much feel like talking anyway.” And she really didn’t, mind you. Besides, there was nothing to be done about the wrath of Dawn in that moment. Not cookies, not pancakes, and definitely not something magical. Willow heaved a great sigh as she made it to the top of the stairs. She went into her room, the room she had become used to sharing with Tara, and flopped her body on top of the bed spread. No need for covers or anything particular like that; she just needed to rest her limbs and her mind. And for nearly twenty minutes, she did. There were voices downstairs, but were hardly audible— they were just low enough for her to ignore. She felt herself slipping into a deep slumber… And then she heard it-

“Uh! Spike!”

Oh great— more with the yelling and the screaming. Can’t those two give it a rest? she thought to herself. Then there was more screaming, so loud it refused to be ignored. Willow gave a groan and rolled over onto her back.

“Jeeze, you guys. Can’t you save the arguing for patrol or something?” she asked loudly, her question of course going unanswered. Willow got up from the bed and slowly opened the door, heading into the hallway. It was then that she realized that Buffy was indeed screaming incoherently, but they were intertwined with moans and grunts. Some hers, and some belonging to Spike. Willow’s eyes squinted as she concentrated on the noises coming from them, and a small, startled gasp emanated from her lips.

“Oh, goddess,” she murmured as she slowly headed down the stairs, completely frightened and unprepared for what she was more than likely about to see. She gripped the banister as she approached the final three steps, looking straight ahead at the front door all the while. She couldn’t force her head to look sideways—not just yet. When she finally made it to the foot of the stairs, she took a deep breath and turned to look at the scene before her. Spike was on top of a spread legged Buffy, in what could only be described as ramming himself into her. They were mostly covered with his coat, but it didn’t take a genius to see what was going on. Tears sprang to Willow’s eyes, from shock, disappointment and terror. She couldn’t believe that Spike would do that to someone he professed to love. To Buffy. To use her in such a horrid way… what little regard he must have for her. How could it be that he could just—rape her? The shock had worn off, and was replaced with anger.

“Oh god! Spike! What have you done?” She watched as Buffy covered her eyes, mumbling something that she couldn’t hear. Spike got up and had the decency to turn his back to the red head as he zipped up. Willow turned her head as Buffy quickly retrieved her panties and jeans and hurriedly put them on.

“Uh, listen, Red, sorry you had to see…” But Willow wasn’t listening anymore. Before she even realized what she was doing, mystical words began pouring from her mouth. In less than an instant, Spike was in pain on the floor, writhing and clutching his ribs, screaming loudly.

“Willow! Stop it!! It’s not a spell! What are you doing?!” Buffy yelled, frantic. She was knelt at Spike’s side, but there was nothing she could do. Buffy looked at Willow and saw that her green irises had bled into black. Buffy dashed over to her and shook her.

“Willow, stop it now!” she yelled. Willow blinked, and Spike stopped screaming, collapsing and nearly on the verge of passing out.

“What… what happened? Buffy? What’s going on?” Buffy wanted to be angry, that Willow could just use magic at the drop of a hat, but she knew she thought she was protecting her best friend. Buffy turned her head for a second and looked at Spike.

“You okay?” she asked gently.

“Yeah, luv. Just need to… lie here for a moment. Bloody hell,” he mumbled, both hands resting on his torso.

“Willow, we need to have a serious talk. First, let me say that there was no spell involved whatsoever in what you unfortunately witnessed. It was purely consensual.” Willow looked confused.

“But… I mean, I… you and Spike? What, what’s going on? Buffy, it’s Spike, and, and you… and I don’t get it,” Willow got out, her pale face all scrunched up.

“Look, Will. This isn’t the time to put my decision making under scrutiny. What the hell just happened with you just then? What did you do to Spike? Willow, you promised me, you promised us that you wouldn’t do any magic anymore. Then what the hell was that?!”

“I, I thought I was protecting you, Buffy I swear. And, and it’s only been like two days since I stopped, and this was what I thought to be an emergency. I—I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Please, forgive me?” she asked sheepishly. Buffy gave a deep breadth.

“I know you had my best interests at heart, but… look, we obviously need to have a long talk. And also, I kinda need you to not tell anyone about this, kay? So why don’t you go get dressed while I help Spike here, and then we can have a nice, long chat.” Willow nodded wearily, and headed up the stairs once again.

Buffy muttered a silent curse as a sullen and confused Willow trudged up the stairs. She turned to Spike, who was still lying on the floor, gazing up at the ceiling. She went to him, kneeling beside him.

“What did she do to you?” she asked in a soft whisper, caressing his brow.

“I’m alright, luv. Though, it did feel like she was squeezing my insides with an invisible, magic hand.” Buffy gingerly pulled his un-tucked shirt upward, revealing rapidly disappearing bruises up and down his sides.

“But you’re starting to feel better, right?” She experimentally grazed the left side of his torso with the tips of her fingers.

“Yeah. It’s wearing off, whatever it was. Magically induced pain. Neat.”

“Come on, let’s get you on the couch.” She got up, and helped him slowly to his feet. She put his arm around her shoulders and put one of her arms behind his back. He winced, but they made it the several steps over to the couch. Buffy helped Spike lay down before sitting next to his head.

“Sit up.” She gently coaxed him upward, and had him rest his head on her thigh.

“Huh,” he said thoughtfully.

“What ‘huh?’”

“Well it’s just… you. Being… being so nice to me. It’s bloody weird.”

“What? No it’s not,” she denied. He looked up at her from his position on her leg.

“Yeah. It is. Let’s be honest, luv. Speaking of honesty, what you gonna tell Red?”

“It’s not like I could deny anything now. And actually, it’s kind of a relief, you know? She’s my best friend after all.”

“And the others?”

“I don’t think they need to know just yet. I mean… we still aren’t even sure what this is— what we feel—”

“I know exactly what I feel, Slayer,” he gritted out through his teeth as he sat up slowly, turning to face her. She looked upon him with sympathetic eyes.

“I know, Spike. It’s just… it’s complicated, for me.”

“Yea,” he grunted, swinging his legs onto the carpeted floor.

“Spike, I—”

“Look, Slayer, I’m only going to play by your rules for so long.” He got up a bit more quickly than he should have and stumbled.

“Sp—,”

“Don’t,” he said while not facing her. “I… I’m gonna go to my crypt. Get a lil’ rest in.” Spike grabbed his blanket and headed towards the back door. Buffy called out to him, but he refused to turn back around. He left with a slam of the door. Buffy let out a frustrated sigh as she grabbed a couch pillow and held it close to her. How she wished that things could be simpler. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice that a fully dressed Willow had come back down the stairs.

“Where’s Spike? I was hoping I could apologize to him,” Willow said sincerely.

“He left. It’s just me and you.” Buffy scooted over, making room for her friend of nearly six years.

“So. You and Spike. With the sex. All consensual like. I think that time with the bot has made me become… more accustomed to the idea,” Willow said in an almost thoughtful tone.

“Please. Let’s let the past stay in the past. As a matter of fact, I don’t want you to compare this… tentative, albeit sexual relationship I have with Spike to the one with Angel cause it’s totally not the same.”

“I know. Spike and Angel are totally different.”

“Way different.”

“But Buffy… Angel has a soul.”

“And Spike doesn’t need one.” Buffy surprised them both with that last statement.

“But Buffy! If he didn’t have that chip— ”

“He’d what? Sneak in the house in the middle of the night and kill me? Come on, Willow. He’s in love with me. That chip didn’t make him stay here all summer and help you guys out, did it? He didn’t have me to impress, and thought I was gone for good. He did it cause he wanted to. He cared, and he still does. Besides which, he can hurt me. His chip doesn’t work on me. I was hoping maybe you can tell me why that is?” Willow’s mouth hung open. She was too shocked to say anything. “Willow?”

“Um, I um… I dunno! Buffy, I swear to you, I did that spell right. There has to be a reasonable explanation for this.”

“I’m sure there is. You will find it for me, won’t you?”

“Yes. Of, of course! I’ll get started right away. I’ll get started right now! I’ll just, go to the Magic Box.” Buffy placed her hand on Willow’s and locked eyes with her.

“But this won’t like, interfere with you and the no magic rule exactly, right?”

“Right! I just have to look over the books, I mean… You know what? I’ll ask Anya to supervise me. Is, is that ok?”

“Yea. But just tell her only the important parts, okay? She doesn’t need to know about…”

“Oh! Of course not. Secret between two best friends, right? We are still best friends?” She was very much unsure of Buffy’s answer. Buffy gave her a genuine smile.

“Of course, Wills. You were just going through a rough patch.” As tired as she was, Willow gave her the biggest smile ever before leaning over and hugging her best friend tightly.

“Thanks, Buffy. I’m glad that you… if only Dawn could— ”

“She’ll get over it. Eventually.” Willow stood up to leave. Before heading to the door, she turned and looked at Buffy again.

“And just so you know, I do like Spike. I mean, he’s had his share of problems, but we all have. I think he’s doing considerably well. Especially since he’s a soulless vampire. And besides, if Anya can be accepted into the gang, well… I mean, she just lost her power center. Who knows if she even has a soul? She could just be a powerless demon.”

“Be sure to tell Xander that when he finds out about me and Spike. Not that he’s gonna know anytime soon,” Buffy quickly backtracked.

“Yea, I will.” Buffy, deciding that she owed someone an apology, headed out.