“Oh gosh. Oh gosh….” Dawn thought aloud to herself. When she had been curious about Spike and Buffy boinking each other, she really didn’t want to find out this way. If only she could go back to sleep…

Dawn, trying to block out the noise as well as the impending mental scarring, got out of bed and picked up her CD player. She put on her headphones and turned up *NSYNC as loud as she could.

Do you ever wonder why, this music gets you high…

Dawn laid on her back, humming along to the song, attempting to get comfortable… But it was simply impossible. Dawn never slept on her back, but she had no choice- she couldn’t lay sideways because of the headphones— it irritated her ear something awful. A growl of frustration emitted from her lips as she slammed her fists on the bed. She had to get up early for school tomorrow.

Buffy is so gonna pay… she thought evilly to herself.

*******

“Okay… So not listening. Nope. Can’t hear a single thing. Damn it,” Willow spoke to herself ruefully. She didn’t have a CD player like Dawn did to drown out the noise. In fact, the noises coming from Buffy’s room were magnified since her room was right next to it.

Here's hoping Dawnie’s asleep and that she stays that way…

Willow, finally thinking that maybe she should make her awake state known to the pair humping like bunnies right next door, got out of the bed, unnecessarily went out into the hallway, semi stomping as she went to the bathroom and made as much noise humanly possible. Then she came out and not so discreetly slammed the door.

“Oh gosh, so tired. Guess I’ll go back to sleep now.” The sound of raucous laughter from the two followed her as she went back to her room. The noises quieted down, but didn’t cease all night…

*******

Buffy was having one of the best sleeps she’d had in a long while- deep, soothing, and terribly comfortable. So when Spike began to scream bloody Mary, the sound of it startled her so much that she felt like she was going to have a heart attack.

“What!” she yelled, frantic, not sure what was happening.

“Sun light! Fire! Combustible vamp here!” Spike yelled back, rolling over her and onto the floor. Buffy, officially woken up from her blissful sleep, leapt out of bed on the other side, and quickly closed the drapes. She then grabbed her blanket and hung it over the drapes for double protection.

“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely apologetic as she walked around the bed towards him.

“S’alright, luv. Just a bit singed. No worries.” He got up slowly. “Bloody hell. If I wasn’t sore before…” he trailed off as he gingerly got back into bed.

“Sorry bout that too,” she said meekly. Spike just gave her a wicked grin before grabbing her wrist and pulling her on top of him.

“Don’t ever be sorry about that luv. I like it,” he said softly as he cupped her face, kissing her deeply. She shortly broke the kiss off and flopped down on top of him, head in the crook of his neck.

“Mmm… Sleepy.” She yawned, making herself comfortable on his lithe form.

“Then get some rest, pet. I think we’ve both-” A knock on the door interrupted him.

“I know you guys are awake in there. I just wanted to say that for the record- you both totally suck. I hardly got any sleep last night, so if I nod off in class and get in trouble, it’s so your fault. I’m going now to an inevitable rotten day at school,” she finished, her teenaged girly feet clomping down the stairs. Buffy moaned in mortification, Spike stroking her hair all the while.

“And I thought it was just Willow. I never meant for Dawn to hear… stuff.”

“Well, can’t keep her from everything, luv. Not that this was a good way to hear about the birds and the bees. No pun intended.” Spike and his caressing hands and soothing voice soon put Buffy into another, peaceful slumber, melting all her worries away…

********

The weeks just completely flew by. Buffy started her new job, and got off of work just a couple of hours before sunrise, giving her enough time to go to Spike’s crypt. Some days, he’d go to her place and stay with her during the day, eating chocolate (Spike was a total chocoholic), watching soaps, cuddling, and of course, lovely calorie burning activities. Buffy totally didn’t want to ever again keep Dawn and Willow awake again or wake them up in the middle of the night, simultaneously embarrassing herself, so the only time they were intimate in her house was when they were the only ones there. Especially one Monday- Spike had brought a pair of handcuffs and introduced to her to… new things. There would have been no way for her to contain her screams of pleasure, so thank goodness no one was there to hear it.

Unless of course, the neighbors had been home… Oh well.

So tonight, it being Tuesday and her day off and all, she decided to head over to Spike’s and help him patrol. Okay, so she was really just heading over to spend more time with him… but they could patrol too. Buffy, ever the polite one, knocked on his door first before entering.

“Spike?” Several seconds after being inside of his crypt, she realized he wasn’t there. Her Spike sensors weren’t going off. Refusing to pout, I will not pout, she left out and started her patrol, hoping that by chance she’d run into him.

I mean, it’s eleven o’clock. Where the hell is he?

She walked around the cemetery listlessly, feeling quite forlorn. And lonely. The sound of a woman screaming broke her from her thoughts. She started to run, following the sound into a nearby forest. She saw a figure in a robe, and tackled him immediately.

She fell to the ground, and the figure was gone. Like, “poof” gone.

“Huh?” she asked to no one, apparently. Then there was a whooshing noise, and the girl was several yards away, lying on the ground and crying, covering her ears.

“It's okay. I'm going to get you out of here. Can, can you walk? Are you hurt?” Buffy asked as she walked closer. Before she could get to her, there’s another whooshing noise, and she’s gone. All that’s left is this horrible whispering…

What did you do? What did you do? Buffy... Buffy

She put her hands over her ears, looking around anxiously. Then out of nowhere, Spike appears, sitting on the ground holding his jaw with a bleeding lip.

“Bloody hell. What’d you do that for?” he asked her, looking slightly annoyed.

“Spike?” Then all of a sudden, he wasn’t there anymore. Instead, there was another robed figure about to attack her. Two of the demons are attacking her, and a third attacking a now reappeared Spike.

“Buffy!” Spike yelled to her, and then he’s right in front of her, cool as a cucumber and sans bloody lip.

“Buffy, luv. Thought you had to work tonight?”

“Spike, what’s happening?”

“Nothing yet…” he said with a sly grin. Just as he was about to embrace her, he disappeared again, and they’re fighting the robed demons. Buffy in all of the confusion, accidentally punched Spike.

“Bloody hell. What’d you do that for?” he asked her again, lip bleeding. A patch of empty air began to shimmer and the three demons appear, charging forward. Buffy turned and started fighting two of them as Spike took the third.

Buffy punched one demon, causing him to go down next to the crying woman, as Buffy continued fighting the other. The second demon got back up and Buffy swung at him.

Whooshing noise.

Everything changes again, and Buffy swung at empty air.

Whooshing noise.

Something hit Buffy in the face.

Whooshing noise.

Buffy held a dead demon in her arms.

Whooshing noise.

A demon punches her in the face.

Buffy's head went back, but she heard that damn “whoosh” noise again, and she knew that something changed. There's a dead demon on the ground behind her. In front of her, Spike is fighting the third demon.

“Buffy!” he called out to her again.

What is this? Some horrible déjà vu? she thought to herself.

She whirled around, took a punch to the face, and kicks and punches the second demon until he went down.

A hand grabbed her shoulder and she whirled, still in fight mode, backhanding the woman so hard that she went flying back and over the edge of a hill, falling to the ground and rolling down. Buffy watched in silent horror. Behind her Spike was still fighting the third demon.

“Oh god,” she whispered to herself, before running down the hill. She heard Spike calling out to her, but she couldn’t stop- she had to see if the woman was okay.

And she wasn’t.

She was unmoving.

Not breathing.

She was dead.

“What did I do? What did I…” She felt sick. She didn’t know what to do, so she just sat there in the leaves, staring at her unmoving body, willing her to get up.

“Buffy?” Spike asked her from behind.

“She’s dead,” she replied quietly in anguish. “I killed her.”

“We have to go.”

“What happened?” she asked more to herself than him, on the verge of tears.

“There's nothing you can do now. We have to go before someone sees you.”

“What did I do?” she whispered in horror.

“We have to go, now!” he said fiercely. Spike grabbed her by the arms and dragged her to her feet. Buffy was in a terrible shock, and felt like she couldn’t move. Spike stopped, bracing her against the trunk of a tree.

“All right. Listen to me. Buffy. Buffy!” he yelled as he shook her, for she wasn’t giving him a response. He feared she’d go into one of those catatonic states again.

“She's dead.”

“It was an accident,” he tried to reason.

“I killed her,” she repeated.

“I'm gonna get you home.”

“No!” she yelled at him. He gripped her a bit more firmly at that.

“I'm gonna get you home, and you're gonna crawl in your warm comfy bed and stay there!” He took a deep, unneeded breath in an attempt to calm himself. No sense in them both getting flustered. “We're gonna sort this out. Trust me,” he pleaded softly. Buffy just stared at him. He wasn’t sure if she was fully registering anything.

Spike took her home, kissed her on the forehead and told her that things would be fine and that she should get some rest. She laid down and soon fell asleep… Only to be awakened by confusing, creepy nightmares where she was staking Spike and he turned into that girl. She had his eyes when she slammed that stake into her chest

The girl that I killed.

Even if it was an accident, she had to turn herself in. She didn’t want to forget about it, or not care. She didn’t want to become Faith. She wasn’t a murderer. So she did the only thing she thought she could do, and what she thought was right.

She decided to turn herself in…

********

Spike, having this gnawing feeling in his gut, disposed of the body as quickly (and carelessly) as possible. He knew his Buffy, and he knew that there was no way in hell that she’d just sit at home and forget it all.

No. She just had to be the martyr, didn’t she?

He waited, leaning against the wall in the alley across from the police station. He was able to barely finish one cigarette before he felt her presence. He saw her from the shadows as she walked down from the other end, face set and determined. He stepped out in front of her, blocking her way.

“What are you doing, luv?” he asked, looking at her steadily. He could tell she’d been crying.

“The right thing.” She attempted to walk around him. Spike grabbed her shoulders and spun her towards the wall, pinning her there. This time, she did struggle. But Spike wouldn’t let her leave.

He couldn’t let her go.

“Sorry luv. Can’t let you do that.”

“I have to tell them.”

“Nothing happened,” Spike said in a voice that left no room for arguments.

“I killed that girl!” Buffy said, almost desperately.

“Demons in the woods? Time going wonky? They won’t believe you.”

“I’ll show them.” Her calm demeanor disturbed him, but he didn’t let it show.

“Show them what?” he asked coolly. Buffy’s eyes widened as she started to understand what he meant.

“What did you do?”

“I took care of it.”

“What did you do?!” she yelled, angry.

“What I had to. I took care of it. It doesn’t matter now. No one will ever find her.”

In the distance, they both hear two cops talking about how they in fact did find a body in the river, washed up about half a mile from the cemetery.

“Oh… balls.” Spike rolled his eyes in irritation. Alright, so in his killing days, he never worried about hiding the bodies. He didn’t care. Hiding them was not his expertise, clearly.

“Ok. But there still isn’t anything to connect this to you.”

“It doesn’t matter, Spike.”

“But it wasn’t your fault!” he yelled in frustration.

“I killed her!” she yelled back. She couldn't seem to get away from those three words.

“It was an accident. It just happened,” Spike said with a calmness he didn’t feel.

“Nothing ‘just happens.’” She pushed him away and off of her, starting towards the police station again. She only made it two steps before Spike grabbed one of her wrists.

“You’re not going in there.”

“I have to do this. Just let me go.” Her eyes were full of unshed tears.

“I can’t. Won’t. I love you, and I can’t let you destroy your life over this. You will not throw everything away.” He shifted into game face as he said all this, angry and distraught.

“It’s not your choice.”

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” He really couldn’t understand it.

“A girl is dead because of me! Accident or not, she is dead. Her family deserves to know what happened to her. I can’t… I just can’t go on pretending as if tonight never happened. Can’t you see this is killing me? I can’t…” she trailed off, the tears finally breaking free.

“Oh sweetheart,” he said softly, pulling her to him, his game face melting away. “And what of the people you saved? What of the people you won’t be able to save if you’re locked away somewhere, wasting away?" He rested his chin on the crown of her head as she sagged against him. "And Buffy… I’m not sure I can explain this to you fully, but I don’t think you actually killed her.”

“What?” she asked, looking up at him. He stroked her hair, not sure how he was going to explain this next bit. It might assuage her guilt, but it would make him look like that much more of a monster. But he had to help her, anyway he could.

“Her body… I know that it’s a bit chilly tonight, but her body was cooler than it should have been if she had truly just recently been killed. I think she may have died a few hours before we came across her.” Buffy just shook her head, looking at the ground.

“It doesn’t matter. I have to tell them what I know. There is no other way.” Spike swallowed deeply, afraid… Afraid of losing her altogether.

“Let me come with you?” he asked her, looking at her tear stained face, feeling this horrible knot in his chest. She nodded, and he let his hand slip down her wrist to her hand, holding it tightly. The closer they got to the station, the sicker Spike felt. But he had to be strong, for her.

They walked up to the desk Sergeant, and Buffy asked timidly, “Excuse me. I- I need to…”

“Uh, I’ll be with you in a second.” He hardly looked at the pair as he pushed a flashing button on the phone. “Sunnydale PD. Yeah, the phone's ringing off the hook here. Listen, you got an ID on that body yet?” Buffy closes her eyes in pain at that, and Spike just gives her hand a little squeeze. “Yeah? Okay, shoot. Katrina ... Silber. S-i-l-b-e-r.” Buffy’s eyes widen in shock and recognition.

“Warren,” she said to Spike, pulling him out the door.

“What?”

“I think you’re right. I didn’t do this… That girl, she was Warren’s old girlfriend. He had something to do with this, I know it. Those demons, the messed up time… We gotta… We gotta research this,” Buffy said tiredly.

“Sure, but you gotta get some rest first. It’s late, and all your Scoobies are sleep. We’ll research tomorrow, yea? If it was Warren, and I can't believe he had the stones to... He isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.” Buffy, much too drained to argue, allowed Spike to lead her home for the second time that night. Once Spike made sure she was tucked up tight, he turned to leave, but Buffy grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“Stay.”

Spike wasn’t sure if she was asking or demanding. Either way, he didn’t care. He took off his coat and boots and crawled in beside her, and just held her. He held her all night as she slept, and worried about their tomorrows…





I (clearly) borrowed some dialogue. This episode was written by Steven S. DeKnight, and transcribed by Joan the English chick here: http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season6/transcripts/113_tran.shtml