A/N: The fact that s6 overall displeased me, this essay also contributed to me writing this fiction. Here's an excerpt, and a link to the whole thing is at the bottom.

***********Theohara Essay Excerpt*************

“After an interlude to discuss Buffy's meaty reek, we're back at Revello, where Spike pops out from behind a tree to ask Buffy for some lovin'. They then get their naughty on right there in the front yard, because heaven forbid Buffy let Dawn down by having sex with Spike in her bedroom; it's far gentler on little Dawnie's subconscious if she happens to wonder what's taking Buffy so long, looks out a window, and sees her sister takin' it from the undead against a tree.

Moreover, wasn't Buffy just in the graveyard? If we needed a Spuffy sex scene here, why didn't they get horizontal on a tombstone or something?

Instead, here they are, boinking like bunnies in a well-lit area next to the mailbox in front of God and the neighbors and...

And hey, wait... what terribly interesting camera angles! Why do we keep looking at this scene from way the hell down the street, like we were some sort of former Initiative member who'd come to the first place he'd think of to look for his ex-girlfriend?

Did I say that out loud?

And Riley doesn't show up at Revello, does he? Doesn't come by the Magic Box, doesn't go to Xander and Anya's, doesn't knock on Giles' darkened door. Nope, straight to the Doublemeat.

How'd he know she worked there?

Man, it's like he's been following her or something….”

********
And on with the fic…



It was still early, about ten, so there weren’t a lot of people in line to get in just yet. It was only about twenty people. No big deal. Although, it was getting a bit chilly out, and her tank top, though trendy and sexy, was doing nothing for her arms. She called out to Craig, the other bouncer on her headset.

“Craig, can you come up front for a minute? I gotta run back in for a sec.”

“Sure thing, Buff. Gotta run to the ladies room?” he asked teasingly.

“Ha, ha, Craig. Just hurry and get your ass up here. I’m freezing!” she said, rubbing her arm with her free hand, the other holding the button for the headset.

“Alrighty. On my way, blondie.”

Craig was a large, tall, ball headed black man. Reminded her a bit of Ving Rhames. As muscled as he was, she could still hurl him clear across the room. But he was cool beans, and could hold his own of course.

He got to the front a minute later, and Buffy gave him a smile before heading inside to the back room. Just as she was about to leave, she was accosted by her boss- Chris Greene.

“Buffy, I’ve been looking for you. Apparently you have an emergency situation?”

“Oh god. What is it? Is it my sister?”

“I’m not sure. There’s some guy in my office. Says you’re needed right away. You’re free to go if it’s really important.”

“Take me to him.” Chris nodded at her before turning around and heading to his office.

Buffy was preparing herself for the worst, when she was nearly blown away by shock when she saw none other than Riley Finn sitting down in the chair across from Chris’s desk.

“Riley?”

“Hey,” he said a bit sheepishly, standing up.

“Riley?” she asked again, alarmed and deeply confused.

“I’ll give the two of you a moment. And Buffy, if it truly is a situation, an emergency situation, then I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Chris said as he closed the door, knowing that Buffy could handle herself as well as trusting her judgment on the importance of the situation.

“Sorry to just drop in on you like this, Buffy.”

“It's you,” she replied blankly.

“It's me.”

“You're here.”

“I know.”

“And ... were you always this tall?”

“Look, this isn't the way I wanted it. But something's come up, something big. We don't have much time. You understand?” She nodded.

“Not a word you've said so far.”

“Right. I should have known, anticipated. You're working.”

“Apparently, if it’s an emergency, I can leave. Is it? An emergency?”

“I want to explain, I just don't have time. I've been up for 48 hours straight tracking something bad, and now it's come to Sunnydale. I know that I'm putting you on the spot, showing up like this, but ... but you know, here we are. I need the best. I need you, Buffy. Can you help me?” he asked sincerely.

“Yeah. Sure. It’s what I do.” She said, putting on her coat and heading out. Riley, sighing in relief, followed her out.

“Look, I'm sorry this is all so sudden. You know, if we get a minute, I'd really like to sit down...” He stoped as something on his belt began to beep.

“What is it?”

“Suvolte demon. Rare, lethal ... nearly extinct, but not nearly enough.”

“It's close,” Buffy said before laughing.

“What?”

“Sorry. It's just ... you still carry around all that James Bond stuff. It's so cute! I forgot.” Riley put the device away, all the while giving Buffy a look that said “Take this seriously.”

“Sorry. Carry on,” she said in an imitation of a commander’s voice. Riley gives her a nod and resumes walking down the street.

“We've been tear-assing through every jungle from Paraguay up, taking out nests. As soon as we put one Suvolte down, a dozen take its place. They're breeders, Buffy. One turns into ten, ten becomes a hundred. This gets out of hand and there's a war with humans? Humans are gonna lose.”

“So they're like really mean tribbles.” Riley gave her a troubling questioning look.

“Sorry, I've been dealing with these, these geeks, it's…it's a whole thing.”

The sound of a demon growling above them interrupted them. They look up and see (what Buffy thinks) to be a cross between that Alien in “Alien and that mutant turtle from “Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles,” the one involving the ooze. It’s across the street knocking over some newspaper vending machines as people scream and run away.

So far, it wasn’t attacking anyone.

“You ready for this?”

“Yes please.”

~~~~~~~~

“Come on, Kevin. It’s been two bloody days already, and those eggs don’t smell exactly fresh. How much longer before those Scitzu’s get here?”

“They should be coming tonight Spike. Just chill out, man. You sure they’re safe at your crypt?”

“Well, yea.”

“Don’t you think you should be there?” Kevin asked, attempting to get him to go back there under that guy’s orders. Tonight was the night apparently.

“Bloody hell. Alright. But I want those bloody eggs outta my place tonight. Can’t bloody sleep in my own bed cause of the smell. Least it’s not as strong upstairs, but still bad enough,” Spike said before heading back to his crypt.

Kevin just looked on nervously, touching the second payment in his pocket comfortingly. He just wanted everything to turn out all right.

And money, of course.

~~~~~~~

“Know where we're goin'?” Buffy asked Riley as he sped down the road in his big, black, SUV.

“Got an idea. The tag's on-line. We'll find it.” He glanced at the GPS on the dashboard, following the moving dot.

“How's your arm?” Buffy asked in reference to the wicked slash across it. The demon took a swipe at him when Riley attacked him. A hit in defense…

“It'll heal. How you doin'?”

“Complicated question.”

“I just meant- ”

“I know.”

“I hear ya. Got some, uh ... big stories to tell you to. If we ever get half a second.”

“Did you die?”

“No.”

“I'm gonna win.” Riley looked over at her surprised.

“Here.” He handed her a black, cloth bundle.

“Ninja wear?”

“Battle gear. Lightweight Kevlar, state of the art. I thought it would be better than your club scene attire.”

“What a surprise.”

“Boys like toys. Put it on, thank me later.”

“You won't look?” Buffy asked with a smile. Riley continued staring at the road ahead.

“I'm a gentleman.” Buffy shrugged her shoulders as she unfolded the clothes.

“Okay. So ... the black-ops life, it's workin' out for ya?”

“Don't suck.”

“They got dental?”

“Yeah, we're covered,” he said with a smile of his own.

A seemingly uncomfortable feeling hovers in the air, and Buffy feels a bit guilty. Though she shouldn’t, cause nothing was going on.

“You know, there's not many people I'd ask to risk their life for me. It's really good to see you.”

“Thanks.”

Nope. Nothing going on here at all but shop. she thought to herself, looking at the man next to her, and realizing that no, she never was in love him. Cared about him, sure. But not love.

~~~~~~~~~
The evening was just chock full of shocks, wasn’t it? Riley was married to Commando Barbie, and apparently, they wanted the uber killing, pregnant Suvolte alive. Too bad Buffy had killed it as a wedding gift.

Somehow between killing the demon and heading back to her place, Buffy was teamed up with Mrs. Finn, a.k.a. Sam, to scope things out. Riley was out and about checking the typical local places for this demon dealer in town that went by the name of “The Doctor.”

How could I have not known about a local demon dealer? Buffy thought to herself, thinking she couldn’t have been that preoccupied. She didn’t work like a horse or anything, she still slayed a bit, and all of her extracurricular activities involved Spike, who knew about the demon community.

Spike…

“Say Sam, I know this informant that might know some useful info, but I have to go it alone. He’s a bit twitchy around others,” Buffy explained.

“Cool. I'm guessing Finn needs me about now. He's probably off somewhere gettin' his ass kicked. You know how wild he gets.”

Actually, no I don’t Buffy thought to herself.

“Don't worry about Rye and me, we're good.” Buffy watched her for a moment before walking in the opposite direction to Spike’s place.

Dammit, it wasn’t fair. Riley got to prance around, living the perfect life, married, showing his love for the whole world to see. Buffy wanted that. She didn’t want to keep things in the dark anymore.

“Wait, gotta focus on business first. Think about the job,” she thought aloud, heading to his crypt.

She walked inside, seeing him sitting on the sarcophagus reading a book. Probably poetry. Spike loved his poetry. He looked up at her with a warm smile that she returned.

“Buffy. Hey now,” he greeted, putting his book down and standing up. “If I'd-a known you were coming, I'd-a baked a cake.”

He silently observed her… different attire.

“Trying something new?”

“Huh?” she asked, not sure what he was talking about.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work? Playing hooky, are we?” He gave a smirk. Buffy walked over to stand in front of him, pulling off her black gloves.

“I need information.”

“Well, suppose I could be helpful. If the price is right. I accept various kinds of currency,” he said with an arch of his eyebrow.

“I need to find a guy. Dealer. Calls himself The Doctor,” she said, advancing on him.

“Human?”

“His traffic isn't.”

“Clock ticking?” Spike said in a seductive tone, advancing on her as well.

“Whatever he's doing, he's doing it soon.” Spike looked her up and down ever so slowly.

“Soon but not now?”

Buffy just looked at him. The look… He couldn’t put a name to it. Part sadness. Part passion. Part… that something he couldn’t figure.

“Tell me you love me,” she commanded quietly. Spike looked at her, surprised.

“I love you. You know I do.”

She stepped closer to him, wanting to say it back… but she couldn’t. Damn it, she didn’t know why.

“Tell me you want me.”

“I always want you,” he whispered. “In point of fact- ”

“Shut up.”

Buffy moved as if to kiss him, but instead she hooked her hand around his neck and pulled him down onto the blanket covered sarcophagus. She laid down on her back with Spike on top of her, all the while unbuttoning his shirt, while Spike pulled at the fastenings on Buffy's bulletproof vest. She stared up at his face, pushing the partially unbuttoned shirt down on his shoulders, using it to pull him down for a gentle kiss. She hoped it said all of the things she couldn’t.

~~~~~~~~~

Spike felt as I things were different. She was… she was there, with him. There was a moment where her eyes were shiny, wet with tears, but she didn’t cry. No. She just looked at him, and he didn’t know what it was that was different about now. It was surprising, much like that first time, but still quite different. But really, who cared? He would give her whatever it was that she needed, and try his damnest to give her what she wanted. What wouldn’t he do for the woman that he loved with his entire being? They made love until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

They awoke to the sound to the creaking noise of the crypt door opening. Spike sat up first, seeing Riley in the doorway with a grim expression.

So, that was where she got that outfit from. Slayer’s been running around with white bread tonight.

“Well, well. Looks like the tin soldier is back in town,” Spike said, sitting all the way up. Buffy, attempting to cover herself with one of the blankets, got off of the sarcophagus searching for her clothes with an “oh god.”

“I don’t normally use the word ‘delicious,’ but I've gotta wager this little tableau must sting a bit, eh? Me and your former? Must kill. What can I say? Girl just needs a little monster in her man.” Satisfaction dripped from every of Spike's words. Riley stepped a bit closer, holding his enormous gun.

“That’s not why I’m here, Doctor.” Buffy head whipped up at that, staring from one to the other in shock, mouth agape. With another “oh god,” she walked away to another part of the crypt to get dressed.

“Here, I thought we’d run you out of town, mate,” Spike said, ignoring what Riley had just called him. “Last time I saw you, if memory serves, you were getting the juice sucked out of you by some undead ladies of very questionable reputation.”

Spike sat up on the coffin, naked with his knees pulled up and open, making Riley averted his eyes.

“Now why don’t you be a good tin soldier, and…” He finished with a “go away” gesture with his hand.

“Where are they…Doctor?” Spike arched an eyebrow at him as he put on his pants.

“Where are what and why do you keep calling me that?”

“Glad to be back in Sunnydale. The locals all speak English, and I know who to beat for information. It's all brought me here.”

“Brought you here for what? You look a bit uptight, crew cut. I hear a bit of prune juice can cure that problem right up for ya.” Spike smirked at him.

“Nice. That's very distracting. Now tell me, before I get unprofessional...where are the eggs, Spike?” Riley asked, getting closer and pointing his very large gun at Spike.

“Eggs?” Spike scoffed. “You're off your nut. It must be those drugs they were keeping you on. I did warn you.”

“Okay. We can do this the hard way, or we can do this the fatal way.”

Riley punched Spike in the face, just as Buffy reappears, fully dressed.

“Where are the eggs?”

“Lay off, Riley.” she said, pulling him back from Spike and stepping in between them. “Look, the Doctor, it can't be Spike.”

“No need to defend me, luv.” Spike said quietly. Buffy
just glared at him, damned pissed off if it was true.

“Look, i-it can't be, okay? He-he's too incompetent. It's just Spike, Riley,” she finished, all the while Spike glaring at her.

“Right. Deadly... amoral... opportunistic. Or have you forgotten?” He pointed out, his tone condescending. Spike just smirked at him, while Buffy glared at Riley. She turned away.

“I'm taking this place apart until I find that nest.”

“Over my dead body.”

“I've seen enough of your dead body for one night, thanks.” Riley used the barrel of his shotgun to shove Spike aside. As he passed, Spike grabbed his shoulder.

“No, you don’t- ” Spike started, knowing that he couldn’t stop him. Knowing that Riley would find those eggs that Kevin should’ve picked up hours ago. Knowing that he wasn’t going to see one red cent of that five thousand dollars.

Damn it.

Riley just shoved him backward, causing Spike to stumble against a pillar. Riley started down the ladder to the underground part of the crypt.

“You coming?” he called up to Buffy. Buffy looked at Spike mournfully, and Spike looked back at her, hoping she would stop this madness, knowing that he couldn’t defend himself or his home against Finn.

Instead, she turned away. Spike swallowed worriedly.

“Oh, this is… it’s unconstitutional, is what it is. Here! There’s nothing down there to see!” he called out to them, putting on a shirt before heading down the ladder after them.

Buffy hurried after Riley as he moved through the underground rooms.

“Riley, look, I'm not saying that he's good, okay? I'm just saying that he's not completely bad. He isn’t capable of something as-”

She stopped as they rounded a corner and came upon the demon eggs. Buffy felt her heart drop. The eggs were about the size of beach-balls but brownish-grey and scaly. There are at least ten, possibly more.

Riley cocked his gun.

“I can explain,” Spike said, coming up behind them.

“We're gonna need more weapons. Spike screwed up. You didn't keep 'em frozen, did you ... Doctor?”

“You can stop calling me that any time. If I may, the thing of it is, I'm holding these for a friend, who-”

Buffy punched him in the nose, furious for his seeming betrayal. He fell down on his butt, his nose bloody.

“No more games,” she said, looking down at him. Spike got to his feet, furious.

“Well, that's bloody funny coming from you! No more games? He just waltzes into town a year later, and you just eat up every word he says, don’t you? Didn’t you break up with him cause he lied to you in the first place? I may be a lot of things, Buffy, but I never lied to you.”

“Can you shut him up?”

“Not so far.”

Spike, utterly disgusted and hurt, leaves. He went out to look for Kevin, knowing that he had to have something to do with this. Soldier boy set him up, and Kevin, the bastard, helped him. Of course, Kevin was nowhere to be found. Skipped town, he did. It was just as well.

Spike got back to his crypt a few hours later, only to find his place, his home, in ruins. The entire lower level where his bed, half his wardrobe, and some of his personal artifacts were, were blown up to smithereens. He stood there, looked at the rubble, kicking it a bit with the toe of his boot, and came to a decision. A hard one, but one that had to be done. He heaved a sigh when he heard her come down the hole.

“So, she’s back. Thought you’d be off somewhere snogging with soldier boy,” he said disdainfully, turning to face her.

“He’s gone.”

“You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m glad he came, believe it or not.” Buffy just looked at him with a confused expression on her face.

“Yea, you heard me right. You see, with Finn being here… It showed me something. Opened up my eyes, ya know what I mean.” Buffy still looked confused, but Spike pressed on.

“It proved to me that you’ll never believe in me. No, of course not. Why should you? I’m just a soulless, demon after all. A demon who nearly every other soddin’ demon in this town despises because I fight on your team; a demon who dumpster dives and sometimes doesn’t have quite enough to pay off his kitten poker, or keep himself in blood and beers. A demon who constantly worries over his… pseudo girlfriends debts, and wants to lessen her load a bit because he loves her. Trustworthy, I think not.” He gave a bitter laugh.

“Spike, I-”

“You know,” he cut her off. “If I was really this Doctor, I should’ve known my business bout those eggs, huh? That they should stay frozen, otherwise, the little demon babies would hatch and eat the first thing they see, which in this case would be me or you, or both of us. The only weapons I have here are stakes and a shotgun. In addition to that, I’d have to have connections up my ass to pull off a deal like that. Think, Buffy. When you came in, what I was I doing, huh? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Why? Because nothing was going on.” Buffy just stood there in silent shock.

“I really had been holding those for a guy. Gave a B.S. story that I believed, I’ll admit it, cause all I could think of was the money I could get for you. Everything really did seem to be not chock full of evilness. But what does it matter? Riley comes riding back into town on his noble steed, and you were just aching to fall into his soulful arms, weren’t you? This whole thing is just… terribly pathetic. It’s apparent to me now that I’ll never be able to fill the shoes of anyone with a soul. I’m just not that important to you. You’ll never believe in me.” Buffy stepped closer to him at that.

“Okay, alright. So I made a mistake. But you know what? It’s partially your fault I had that relationship with Riley to begin with. Sure, I liked him alright, but I never would have thrown myself headfirst into it if I wasn’t obsessing about getting over ‘lips of Spike.’ I didn’t think it was normal, thinking about you in that way, even though Willow too is partially to blame for that… But Riley had been ‘Mr. Normal,’ and I wanted to not be thinking about my mortal enemy. And the kissing… and the fondling… and how good and comfortable it all felt being in your arms... I wanted you, and it felt scary and wrong. At the time, anyway.”

“But obviously, it still is wrong. To you. And I can’t… I can’t be like this, Buffy. Not anymore,” he said sadly, tears in his eyes. Buffy felt her heart speed up.

“What are you saying, Spike?”

“I’m saying, Buffy, that whatever this is between us… I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t. I give up. It hurts too much,” he said quietly, hopelessly, walking away from her into one of the darkened cave tunnels, not waiting to hear what else she had to say. He couldn't bare it. Buffy just stood there, mouth agape.

“But I love you, William,” she whispered. No one heard her.



A/N:I apologize for the rehashing of Riley scenes, but I had to show them in order to point out a few things... I cut them down as much as humanly possible. I also apologize for Spike breaking up with Buffy, but I swear to you, it had to be done. It’ll be alright, I swear. Just have a little faith in me, mmkay?

Once again, thanks to Joan the English Chick for some of the dialogue found here: http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season6/transcripts/115_tran.shtml

And to the fabulous theohara and her kick ass essay that everyone and their mother should read, “Captain Cardboard, or How I Learned to Stop Seething and Love ‘As You Were’” (although, I will never love it, or like it for that matter): http://theohara.livejournal.com/162286.html