A/N: This is the second to last chapter of this, the last chapter being their last moment together alone in s5- the stair scene. Of course, I'm going to go horribly off canon, but I think you'll like it (or hope so anyway). I am going to attempt, however to put in that backporch scene from "Fool for Love," but it'll come as a flashback in the last chapter, and Buffy has an epiphany... Anyway, hope you like this :D


She was quite hard to figure. She usually couldn't get enough of saying how much she loathed and hated him; found him disgusting... And no, he didn't think that the lady protested too much on that account. He believed her, mostly. But it was rare moments such as these, like trusting him with her family that left him quite puzzled. Or when she felt it necessary to confide in him; talked to him like a human being, divulging information that she wouldn't dare tell others, not even her closest friends. It was beyond peculiar.

"Thanks for watching her," she said softly, so as not to disturb her sister, who was snuggled in her sleeping bag on the cold floor, warmed further by Spike's duster.

"No problem. Tired herself out from worrying."

"At least she's sleeping. It's good. She hasn't had a good rest since, since mom."

"Looks like you haven't either. I mean, you seem drained, is all."

"'Drained' very much being the operative word." Buffy gave a brief, humorless laugh. She sat down on the floor against the wall with a sigh. He sat down gingerly next to her, close, but not too close.

"I just feel like the whole world is resting on my shoulders."

"Technically, it is, luv," he pointed wryly with a small grin. She gave a slight grin as well, though not looking at him. She frowned after a moment, remembering what she was about to say.

"It used to bearable when my mom was around. I still wasn't the adult, you know? At least then, I had her to take care of me. I just don't, I don't feel as if I can do this alone. Be the provider. The protector. It's all so much..." He sat there in silence, urging her to continue and get it all out.

"No matter how bad it got, I would come home and see her, and she'd... she'd hug me, and everything felt alright."

Spike looked at her as her voice broke a little. "And I remember smelling her Caress, you know the body wash, And her Sunflowers perfume, and I'd just feel so safe, and the rest of the world would just fall away." She swallowed thickly.

"I don't have that anymore. I miss her, so much," she whispered. Spike sighed.

"Come here," he said softly. She gave him a look of trepidation.

"Come here," he repeated, just as softly, but with authority in his voice. He didn't wait for her response, though, and gently tugged her towards him, wrapping his strong arms around her. She gave in, and rested her head in the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

"You don't have to be alone, you know," he said into her hair.

She rested her hand on his shoulder, and breathed in his scent of whiskey, cigarettes, leather, and something she couldn't quite place. It was a far cry from what her mother smelled like, and yet... she felt comforted all the same. And safe. She felt tears prick at her eyes, for she knew that this too would not last. She batted them away, and stayed in the present.

Spike heard this, tiny sigh come from her as her heart beat slowed. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she had this look of peace. At least he could give her that, for the moment.