BSV Forum - General - The Bloodshedpub

What is evil sex in your opinion?

Oct 28 2009 09:48 pm   #1Mesh 
What I'm trying to find out is what are the roots of evil sex... You can call it whatever you want--be it evil, bad, unscrupulous, unconsentual etc...

All over the world young people are being encouraged to be nymphos, promiscuous and loose moraled.
What I want to know is what the psychology behind all of this is. What is it and what does it create/destroy in a person? What does it add up to?

I know, if you say to someone that being a nympho is wrong they'll just say "it's human nature so it's not bad!"
Well, there have been times I've been so angry I wanted to kill/hurt someone but I didn't do it (I'm sure everybody here's been that angry at one point).
I think being human is realizing you are more than what you are and you have the power to control yourself and understanding the difference between right and wrong. Once we are conscious and aware of what we are and are mindful of what we feel, than we have a choice and all that jazz.

And another thing - I don't think sexually violating someone is instinctual... Or is it?

I know this isn't really Buffy related (you can make it so lol) but you guys are really good at dissecting and analyzing everything down to the bone so I know you can help me with my dilemma. Not to mention I'm having a serious brain fog :P

Thanks!


Oct 28 2009 10:15 pm   #2Niori 

In my opinion, as long as both partners are willing participants and both enjoy themselves, then there is no such thing as 'evil sex'. Just because you're into something different, doesn't make it wrong. And no one has to the right to judge them on it either.
 

Oct 28 2009 10:26 pm   #3Tammy 
Agreed, to me sex is good no matter what, however you can get it.  The only thing to make it evil and wrong is if a person was forced.
Oct 28 2009 10:26 pm   #4Tammy 
I hope that post didn't make me sound completely slutty...lol!
Oct 28 2009 11:07 pm   #5Niori 
Don't worry Tammy- I agree with you completely. You don't sound completely slutty. lol
Oct 28 2009 11:31 pm   #6Tammy 
Ah, so I did sound slutty, just not completely.  Works for me...lol!
Oct 29 2009 02:07 am   #7Spikez_tart
All over the world young people are being encouraged to be nymphos, promiscuous and loose moraled.
What I want to know is what the psychology behind all of this is. 


Oh boy, got an hour?  One of the biggest things was the invention of the birth control Pill.  Once women could take the pill and not have to worry about getting pregnant, the whole house of cards blew apart.  Once the restraints were stripped away, there seemed to be no end.  Anyone who encourages a young person to be promiscuous is a jerk - not just because of disease and danger, but because that kind of behavior destroys your good feelings about the opposite sex (for heteros) and breaks your heart.  You lose your sexual excitement about being with someone, too.  It all becomes scary and too common.

To bring it back to Buffy, see her relationship with Parker.  He snows her with a line of bull and pretends that he's interested in her and having a relationship.  Willow eggs her on.  He sleeps with her and dumps her.  She doesn't get a disease or get pregnant, but she sure gets a broken heart and loses her ability to love wholeheartedly when Spike comes along. 

If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone' who?
Oct 29 2009 04:20 am   #8ladycat713 
Sex should be something involving two people (consenting adults of any genders either married to each other or not cheating on someone) who trust and love each other and are willing to share thier bodies.

As long as your sex doesn't involve the unwilling, the underage ,animals, or drugs , Then whatever floats your boat is good . However if your kink is something that could get you arrested (like public sex) be sure to have bail money on hand and someone to call for help.

But whatever you level of sexual activity is from strictly monogamous to Hello stranger! , keep yourself safe from disease and pregnancy not to mention serial killers, rapists , and the honked off cheated upon people who might come after you after you slept with thier lover or spouse after meeting them in a bar.
Oct 29 2009 05:08 am   #9Niori 
Please explain to me how having sex equals 'loose moraled'. Just because someone is having sex (I'm assuming we're talking about the young, unmarried people) how does that make their morales loose? And if you can give me an answer not based on a religious view point that would be great.
Oct 29 2009 07:25 am   #10nmcil
sexual acts between parties that fully understand what they are doing and what consequences might come from their choices is I think acceptable - That does not include sexual acts that results in bodily harm to the people involved.  If people make the free choice to engage in violent sexual practices, it is their totally their responsibility to make sure that either party is not seriously injured from their sexual encounters.  If serious injuries are sustain that are a result of the sex, the party involved has to take full responsibility.  Once you accept to be involved with violent sexual acts, you also take on the potentially bad consequences from your choices.

Sexual conduct and choices between people who are not fully aware to the consequences is not, IMO, good sexual life choices.  Sex between immature people or very vulnerable people can very easily turn into a horrible experience, or have life changing consequences.  Take for instance, young people who have sex without proper contraceptives.  Is it evil, no - can it have very bad results, absolutely.  Our society has millions of children that are being raised in terrible unstable environments, both emotional and economic.  How many younger and extremely vulnerable partners, both male and female are being taken advantage of by older or more experienced people? 
That is something that I personally would label "evil sexual acts."   Taking advantage of vulnerable partners, even if it is consensual, I do think of as an "bad or evil" sexual conduct.

I don't think of sex between young people or unmarried people in the context of "moral or immoral," to me it is the consequences and the circumstance of how the sexual act is engaged in.  No One has the right to enforce their sexual desires and needs on another person through force, emotional coercion or without the consent of the partners involved. 
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Oct 29 2009 04:33 pm   #11Messiah

Please explain to me how having sex equals 'loose moraled'.

 Oh, what I meant by that is for instance if you’re married or dating but go out and do the deed with someone else… That’s what I would consider immoral.

 --
But whatever you level of sexual activity is from strictly monogamous to Hello stranger!

 Hello stranger! Hahaha! Oh god, that made me laugh!

 If people make the free choice to engage in violent sexual practices, it is their totally their responsibility to make sure that either party is not seriously injured from their sexual encounters. 

 I’m not saying that people should stop doing what they like because I may think it’s wrong but this is kinda what I was thinking of: violent sex (not the good “whoo doggie” kind)

The kind where men pay women to let them tie them up and use whips and chains etc (not gonna get into detail).But to me (correct if I’m wrong) just doesn’t seem right. If there are men/people on this earth that gain satisfaction from torturing women/other people (weather or not they enjoy it) does not seem natural to me.

 Take for instance, young people who have sex without proper contraceptives.  Is it evil, no -

 I’m not talking about disease or contraceptives. That is in no way being evil. It’s just being naïve and ill informed. I shyte you not I knew a girl once. 8 months pregnant and she thought she was fat. She gave birth in a toilet. That girl knew nothing about how boys and girls work.

 Anyhow, I’m mostly talking about the way some people go about sex.

 I’m not saying people have to be conventional—cause that’s just boring (but whatever floats your boat). I’m talking  about really extreme unpleasant sex that makes you feel ill just to think about it.

 Not to mention there are all these young girls that are being taught to be sexual objects by society or by parenting.
I mean for god’s sake, they’re making stripper poles for 6 year olds! http://www.feministing.com/archives/005946.html

 It may not be evil but I don’t think anything good can come out of it.

- If you want to win a war, you must serve no master but your own ambition..

-The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

- A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.


Oct 29 2009 05:03 pm   #12Scarlet Ibis
WTF--A stripper pole for EIGHT YEAR OLDS???

That's perverse and disgusting.  That and Tiaras for Toddlers.  I don't understand why it's even allowed.

Setting that aside about the evil sex thing...if it's two consenting adults, and everyone has their kink, well...everyone has their kink.  If it's two consenting adults, and someone wants to be tied up or someone wants to be whipped or someone wants to be pissed on and both parties are okay with it, then it's no skin off my nose.  As long as it's not a surprise or anything...whatever.
"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."
https://www.facebook.com/FangirlNovel
Oct 29 2009 06:13 pm   #13nmcil
one of the most disturbing documentary films I ever saw was about Beauty Pageants for children - some of those parents are seriously screwing up their children.
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Oct 29 2009 08:17 pm   #14Messiah
There's just something about parents that enter their kids into pageants I guess.... They're not all right in the head.
I remember reading years ago about the scandal of that little blond girl who was molested and murdered by her father. I can't remember her name though.
This is all just disturbing. How do parents get so wako?

When I have kids I'm going to get them  aikido and kung fu classes. I think every parent should do this. Especially for girls.... The world is full of dangerous freaks.

I wish it weren't so but I'm not gonna spend my time wishing until something bad happens.

- If you want to win a war, you must serve no master but your own ambition..

-The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

- A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.


Oct 29 2009 08:37 pm   #15nmcil
Off Topic but I want to share anyway -

regarding Children's Beauty Pageants - when I was teaching ballet one of the mothers ask me to help her little girl develop her "talent" category - and I did a lovely little ballet piece for her with the Brahms Opus 39 waltzes.  Boy did I laugh at myself when I saw this documentary and had a look at what her competitors were doing - beautiful little girls, all made up to look like grotesques of adult women and shaking their butts and dancing like much older girls and adults.  Now that is what I personally think of as "evil."
But our world is made up of all kinds of people, different life stories and taste - so I guess it all comes down to personal perspectives. 
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Oct 29 2009 09:30 pm   #16Messiah
Well everyone has their own personal perspectives But sometimes people don't even understand what it is that they are doing.
If they understood what it all meant, would they still do it? Do some people do the insane things that they do because they don't see themselves are do they know what they're doing? I think choice is born from understanding. If you understand and choose to or not to is different from just following what you were taught.
*quote*

if it's two consenting adults, and everyone has their kink, well...everyone has their kink.  If it's two consenting adults, and someone wants to be tied up or someone wants to be whipped or someone wants to be pissed on and both parties are okay with it, then it's no skin off my nose.  As long as it's not a surprise or anything

I feel exactly the same way. No big deal if you like it. I just wanted to see if anyone could help me understand the psychology behind it.
I guess maybe the best thing for me to do to get the answers I need is search for books on amazon that might help me understand better.

The whole reason I became curious about this is because i listened to "Making love - Sexual Love The Divine way" by Larry Long.
He talks about how love became screwed up by religion and society and why women sometimes don't feel pleasure while performing.

- If you want to win a war, you must serve no master but your own ambition..

-The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

- A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.


Oct 29 2009 10:17 pm   #17nmcil
Of course the natural bodily desires and needs of our sexual nature have been effected by religion and social pressure - the sexual act is simply a bodily need and necessity for procreation - anything that can be construed as evil, immoral, bad, moral, acceptable, etc. is completely a human construct.   There are some traditions that are based on physical consequences like long line of breeding within same family lines and frankly, I don;t know how much truth there is to this.  Same for  the social rules about ownership and possession that are part of our human history and culture regarding sexual partners and family units - we have these social rules so that there can be some was of living together in large social units.   If we had a culture and social tradition based on freedom of sexual choice and desires, without all the problems that come from partners being jealous or insecure about the sexual lives of their partners - we would have a totally different concept of family units and sexually acceptable behavior.  Marriage was more often a method of dealing with business, land and power and in the human social structures and monogamy was again a way to prove lines of inheritance while it served to foster the protection of the progeny and family unit. 

As to the "why and how" about individual sexual acts that is for experts in the fields of human psychology, science and medicine, the rest of us can only speak of our personal experience.
” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Nov 04 2009 08:48 pm   #18mes ~ 
*quote*
As to the "why and how" about individual sexual acts that is for experts in the fields of human psychology, science and medicine, the rest of us can only speak of our personal experience. But it was worth a shot anyway.



Off topic I know.. But hey, I made this :P

I was doing some christmas shopping and I found an anorexic supermodel barbie. This has eating disorder written all over it. [IMG]http://i36.tinypic.com/8xncxu.jpg[/IMG]

and the user's auction page is here http://cgi.ebay.com/Gorgeous-Nude-Barbie-Gold-Juicy-Couture-Brunette_W0QQitemZ380172501270QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item58840c0116 but it will probably be done before you read this.

I can't imagine what this must make girls think. This barbie looks like she's been living in a concentration camp.
Nov 04 2009 08:50 pm   #19mesh 
*ahem* http://i36.tinypic.com/8xncxu.jpg

Sorry, wrong code :P
Nov 04 2009 09:05 pm   #20Tammy 
That's seriously messed up.
Nov 05 2009 01:17 am   #21nmcil
As long as women continue to allow themselves to be manipulated by "The Beauty Industry" we will all be entrapped by social pressures of  Prescribed Beauty Role Models.  Women, like myself who are described as plain or ordinary, will feel on some deep emotional level that we just don't measure up - that there is some inherently wrong about our bodies.  We can intellectually understand that the forced "Beauty Industry" role model is a complete fabrication of "feminine beauty," but we are still personally, on some level,  effected by that role model. 

Want to know what one of my personal descriptions of women's liberation has always been?  When women will no longer feel the need to spend hours of their lives doing their hair and putting on all the make-up.  That does not mean that we can't or should never try to add a little enhancement with some make up or wear attractive clothing - I just don't think that it is good for women to have their personal identify tied too closely to what is presented in the magazines, films, entertainment industry as pretty or beautiful.

” Recent evolutionary models have demonstrated what politicians have long known: the best way to get people to collaborate and to think like a group is to identify an enemy and charge that “they” threaten “us.”

Michael Tomasello is co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
Nov 08 2009 02:42 am   #22ladycat713 
To clarify when I said married to each other or not cheating on someone, I mean can be married to each other or dating or even just picked up in a bar , even though with the last you are more likely to run into a cheater and get caught up in a drama. That can also happen with a monogamous relationship if you don't know that you are the only one in the relationship that's monagamous and don't realize that they are already dating or married.

And while some people are into threesomes , I really can't see that lasting too long because it's hard enough for 2 people to get along for an extended period of time, 3 or more just seems too awkward.