More Toil and Trouble by slaymesoftly
Chapter: Two

09/01/2014 04:47 pm
This fic contains the best interplay of words between Spike and Buffy and I'm totally enjoying it!
I'm so glad. Thanks for telling me so. :)

08/31/2014 07:58 pm
Great follow-up. Can't wait for more :)
However, there's something wrong with the formatting - all the chapter is in bold, and when you move the mouse cursor over the text it gets underlined. I've seen it in some other authors' stories on the site...

I have a question about sentence "Do you really want to remind of that?" Shouldn't it be "remind me"?
You've also missed a few commas, e.g. in the 2 last paragraphs - "No we're not." "And yes we are." There's more, but the strange formatting makes it impossible to copy and paste :(.
Anyway, hope you can help it somehow...
The story is developing really nicely and it seems to have all the things I like so much in your fics. :)
Thanks for the heads-up. I think I fixed the formatting (and inserted the missing "me"). It looks ok in preview, so I hope whatever went wrong the first time fixed itself.

Re the missing commas: when you are using the "yes" or "no" as part of a phrase, not as an interjection, (no pause), the comma isnt necessary. (CMoS 6.39) In fact I actually took another one out that shouldn't have been there. Didn't do a complete careful reread, though, so don't know where the other missing ones might be. Maybe I'll catch them later today if I get time to look it over again.  :)

08/31/2014 12:32 pm
Now then, what's going to happen between Buffy & Riley/The Initiative?
Always loved the budding friendship between Joyce & Spike. They both benefitted from a sympathetic ear and some adult conversation.
More please...
More soon. Thanks for reading!

08/31/2014 07:44 am
I really like this story so far and I can't wait for more.  The Joyce Spike interaction/friendship is always welcome and confused Buffy is amusing as well.  Keep up the great work...like you always do.
Thanks. I hope you like the rest of it. :)