wonderful to have an update - this is such a good Buffy-William-Spike work. Can't say I like your present Buffy much, but I have hopes that she may start to see the world in the shades of gray that are reality and not deny that William lives or did live in Spike.

Amazing - that was just amazing. I feel sorry for both of them; Buffy - for thinking that she has to pretend that she's with William and Spike - for loving her so much that he just gets swept away and proves that he is still very much the William she feel in love with.
And may I add that the ending was so hot that I think my computer may be smoking.

Such a great way to end the chapter and so frustrating b/c I want to know what happens next :) I can see things going downhill soon, but hopefully, Buffy will gain some sense.

This is written so vividly, and I love the history you gave Spike and how he became the hardened vamp we first met. I also like how it explains why he's never been successful at killing Buffy and why he would fall in love with her.

Buffy and William's relationship was so full of love, and my heart broke when her meddling friends brought her back (they're pesky like that). This story is wonderful, and I'm so looking forward to the update!

Sorry for the long, overall review, but I was so eager to get from chapter to chapter, and by the time I had finished, I was a wee bit tired.

Amazing. I can't wait for more!

Well, I just hope Buffy comes out of "pretending". Somehow she just knows what the Watchers say is wrong. She needs proof.

“…I just want to pretend for a while,” that does not bode well for the aftermath. it is really a tragedy angelus did not kill more of the scoobies in canon. very good chapter, thank you.

Gah! Damn those meddling friends of hers! Just leave her alone for a while until she's bloody well ready to talk about what happened! Grr. Oh, and glad she finally went to Spike...even if it is only for a bit of cold comfort. At least they are together for now! Am I bad for wanting her to be preggers? Eagerly anticipating another chapter!

That was beautiful. There are no words. Except for these: update soon?

somehow, I don't hink this is going to turn out well.
SO GLAD for an update!!! Thank you! :)

So, I'm slightly embarrassed that I thought of this chapter so much, but work was particularly boring today :-P

“Tell me you love me”

When we heard that on the show, it was just before Buffy dumped Spike. Buffy spent Season Sex denying that Spike loved her. Now, she’s seeking out love, wanting to love and be loved by William. On the show, Buffy used Spike’s body to help her feel. Buffy doesn’t need to try to feel now. She already feels—love, deep loss of William, and confusion about the demon that wears his face. From Buffy’s perspective, she wants Spike to be William, and the only way for her to pretend that he’s her William is to use his body. Afterall, Buffy believes that the demon sets up shop in the human victim’s body. So, to Buffy, William’s body is the only thing left of him.

What Buffy fails to realize is that we are more than just the sum of our parts. She takes off his duster because she doesn’t want to be reminded of Spike (Great use of metaphor! Ever read “The Scarlet Letter?” There’s this part where Hester takes off her “A” and throws it on the ground while she makes out with Dimmsdale so that she can pretend that they aren’t being all immoral.) Spike still has his memories and his body and his love for his Elizabeth (and now for Buffy), but not his soul. Our memories, our thoughts, our emotions, feelings, our bodies, our spirits—all of these things make us who we are. We know that he’s still inside, that Spike is just as much William as Buffy is Elizabeth. How will Buffy feel when she realizes that she’s used the man that she loves? God, my stomach is tied in knots just thinking about it :hurl:

I get the feeling that part of Buffy already realizes that Spike is William; but, I’m sure she’ll deny it heavily :-P On the show, Buffy calls Spike “William” twice. Once in “No Place Like Home” when she catches him behind the tree. And again in “As You Were” when she dumps him. Both times, it’s almost as if Buffy picks up on his vulnerability vibe, sees something other than his Big Bad swagger, and names it William. One could surmise that, deep, deep, deep…DEEP down, Buffy already knows that something is different about Spike, even without a soul, and that Angel’s I’m-not-Angelus routine is a load of hooey. Buffy didn’t exactly have a pleasant encounter with Angelus back in time, but she still treats him like a person because he has a soul. For now, Buffy seems to still be clinging to that belief.

On the other hand, Spike knows that Buffy is still the same person despite the name difference. Her, “I just want to pretend,” sets off an alarm, but he ignores it because he loves her too much to muster a give-a-damn. Spike’s greatest virtue—love—is also his biggest vice.

Okay . . . her Buffy-logic is in overdrive this time. I wish easier going for them, but if she won't fully engage, it's going to be the long way 'round. As always. At least they've stopped shouting, for now.

Thank you so much for this. It's been a long wait, but it's awfully satisfying to sink back into it. Keep on doing that thing you do so well, UB. Solid foundation and dizzying spires, that's what you've built here.

Wow. Sweet chapter UB. I wonder what will happen next.

Brilliant chapter - this just gets better and better. I just know Spike should have listened to that twinge of anxiety. Stunning.

You are breaking my heart with this story. So beautifully written, such character insight...love it.

Thanks sooooo much for the update! I adore the whole story!

Awesome chapter. I really just don't want to see what happens next. I have a feeling that she is just going to leave him and he is going to be so crushed. I do love Dawn in this meeting. And the scooby's just can't stay out of someone else's business.

Love it, love it, love it! Please update soon. I'm desperate for more!

Thank you for the wonderful update! Well it makes sense that Buffy could have contracted TB -- she was around Anne after all. Maybe while they take care of her sickness they can take care of her stupidity too? Just a thought.

You definitely make it worth the wait and leave us wanting more... made my whole day! :)

An update, bless you. You know how much we love this story, so grateful for what ever you can give to it. Guess it's possible for her to have got comsumtion, Anne had it after all. They're going to be shocked when they find out who she fell in love with. Cold comfort, once again? I do hope it's more then that, for both their sakes. Again, so grateful for the update. I've only come over here to read this. Can't wait for more. Great update.

God, this chapter was worth the wait. So now the gang thinks Buffy was made to sleep with the man of the house. So if they find out it was Spike and based on their ideas of who he was befor ehe was turned their all going to think he basically raped Buffy. Just peachy... not.

Buffy's giving into her desires for wanting William, why do a smell some major drama coming? lol And the crypt door is still open, don't tell me Dawn walks in looking for Buffy? And if demons are constantly walking past... oh my.

Well I can't wait for the next update. But I have too, lol. Thankd for the great read UB!

Oh Buffy Buffy Buffy WHY can't you start to question those "facts" you were taught and SEE the man in front of you??? The girl is patently stupid. She is at least unable to prevent herself from going to the flame and that's a start.

When her "dear friends" and Watcher figure out she was with William THEY will react like he's Spike an the stakes will be out in no time so Buffy better get her act together and show she's at least half as smart as little sister.

Poor Spike. Once she's done he'll think again and realize she is still denying him. I still blame Angel for this and wish that jackass would own up to vampire nature so she'll at least entertain the thought that Spike is being truthful (much as I hate it that she would take Angel's word for it over Spike's but that's where she is at the moment).

Worth waiting for. Still adore this story.

Kathleen

YAY! Hotness, love it. But, of course, she's just using him. Always using him. She's going to break his heart into tiny tiny pieces, isn't she?

Love it. Love it love it love it. Ty much for updating, UB, made my whole day ^_^

the ones who did were bakers and seamstresses, or maids. Okay that sounds like really hard work to me.

You're not going to make Buffy sick are you, mean writer? Spike will have a cow.

Also, woo hoo!

Wow, this was intense...
I know some people may be rejoicing in tis turn of events, and in a way I am too, but something about the tone feels very...ominous.

I really didn't expect this chapter to end the way it did, but I'm sure it's not anywhere near a happy ending (no pun intended). Buffy's "I just want to pretend for awhile" echoes season 6 to me, and that scares me.

Bleeding Hell are you ever the tease! What a place to leave it at. But oh so good. This certainly was worth the wait. Yet bittersweet. Here she goes again using him, only different circumstances.

I really appreciated your bit of condom history..lol. It was priceless having Anya be the one to voice to it. *You had to tie them on with string and the smell was—”* I remember imaging the same thing myself when I read about this many years ago, but the smell! Hehe.

I could have easily have chosen a number of different lines that were my favorite in this chapter, heck the whole last half for that matter. But, and it is from the second half...

*He could have beaten her for that. For refusing to admit who he was and what he had been to her. He wanted to beat her. Chip or no chip, he wanted to hit her; but he didn’t. * I always appreciate a story so much more when an author keeps in line with Spikes true character. This is what his feeling where on the show many times and its no different in your story. Can't wait for what you have in store for us next.

Oh, man.....oh, poor Spike....it's not going to matter what he does or says right now...she's just going to use him because he's William shaped....her denial is too great. Oh, I see this leaving to very bad things....

Oh no...she's just pretending, cause Spike's "not real." Gosh, he's gonna be in a world of emotional pain--again. Or I could be horrendously wrong. Hopefully, I won't have to wait long to see either way :D

Oh God; what is she doing??? You just know she's using Spike to replace William; refusing to see the man inside the monster, as always!!! I know Spike's done some horrible, horrible things, but I always hated the way Buffy treated him. Sure, don't trust him if you don't want to, don't believe the avowals of love, but you don't have to be mean!!

That being said, great frickin' chapter!!! More, more, more!!! I can't wait to read more of this story; you've really captured the characters voices; it's almost like watching episodes of an alternate season 6. Can't wait to read more of your excellent work!!!