How could she do that to him?! He never needed to be human or have a soul to love. She knows this!

very tough decision for buffy. one that i can understand but not like. if she made another choice this tale would not be written. very good beginning, thank you.

Okay, just read the other reviews on this chapter, which I should never do because they always make me think more :-P So, yeah, Buffy's being an idiot, and part of her seems to know that. But, then again, Spike walked away at her request. Maybe he trusts her judgment more than his now that he's sans soul again. Of course, Spike's also never been good at following orders--even Buffy's orders--so, I'll have to wait and see how that pans out.

But, I digress. My point of coming back to write more was to say this: Buffy's choice to send Spike away is probably what any mother would do in the same situation. She's always been extremely protective of those she loves, and she'd most likely be even more protective with her own children. I'm not a mother (does cat mommy count?), and I love my husband more than anything in this world; but, if faced with a situation where he hurt or might hurt our child, I'd feel it my duty to protect said child above all else. I might take a risk with myself, but children need their parents to protect them. I imagine that Buffy would feel the same way.

Okay, just read the other reviews on this chapter, which I should never do because they always make me think more :-P So, yeah, Buffy's being an idiot, and part of her seems to know that. But, then again, Spike walked away at her request. Maybe he trusts her judgment more than his now that he's sans soul again. Of course, Spike's also never been good at following orders--even Buffy's orders--so, I'll have to wait and see how that pans out.

But, I digress. My point of coming back to write more was to say this: Buffy's choice to send Spike away is probably what any mother would do in the same situation. She's always been extremely protective of those she loves, and she'd most likely be even more protective with her own children. I'm not a mother (does cat mommy count?), and I love my husband more than anything in this world; but, if faced with a situation where he hurt or might hurt our child, I'd feel it my duty to protect said child above all else. I might take a risk with myself, but children need their parents to protect them. I imagine that Buffy would feel the same way.

Just started reading this. I was gonna not read it when I saw the character death warning; but I started anyway. And now I'm all enraptured and crying :-( and scared of what's going to happen next, but more scared of not finding out what's going to happen :-P So, I read on...

Omg I shed a tear wonderful!

more please

wonderful start and some very hard questions to explore - But having Buffy go on automatic Slayer Kill Vamp mode, especially after having lived through Spike's journey of transformation makes it seems like all their married life and last ten years was based on lie.

One can't help but think that Buffy would never have chosen to be with Spike without the Shanshu and that there was a great divide between the reality of their lives- that somehow a very huge mistake and lack of fundamental trust of Spike as Vamp was never there. Once the understanding that the same Spike as Vamp was resurrected, at least some of that history should have made an impression on her. Spike must feel not only the ultimate Heart Break over the loss of his family, but also an immense sense of betrayal from the woman he loved - not only for the last ten years but especially because they had both lived through his change.

Understand that Buffy might be on Auto Protective Mother Mode - but that, like all things dealing with the human condition and relationships, is not neccessarily the best form of action to live by. Not saying that her real fear for her children are not to have been considered, but neither did Spike return as the mindless newly risen typical vamp.

On to the next chapter - Best Wishes to you with your story - I look forward to reading the piece.

Ok, when I clicked on this fic I wasn't expecting this. Wow. I am angry at Buffy, but I understand her actions. I am so curious to find out what you plan to do with this situation.

You know how much I love this story! I feel for them both so much here, they are both hurting so much. Poor Buffy, such a terrible decision to have to make--between the man she loves and the safety of her children.

I think it is easy for people to call Buffy a bitch and say how evil she is being here, but I think it is a decision most mothers would make when faced with a potential threat to their children...especially considering that Spike was one of those drumming that lesson into her head for the last ten years!

If you still can't remember how to put the banner up in the morning (my morning) just sing out and I'll walk you through it.

I'm hooked. I don't have kids, but I can understand a mother wanting to protect hers. I think people are too hard on Buffy. Why would she think the same demon would inhabit Spikes body? We are viewers, we know Spike really loves Buffy, but how is Buffy supposed to know. Especially in the series, He tried to Kill her many times. That would make me doubt his love especially with her past Angel experience. Buffy isn't perfect but neither is Spike. I know I got a little sidetracked but I really hate all the Buffy bashing.

i love all of your stories, but i just don't think this one is for me. i don't understand how buffy could treat spike like that after being married to him for 10 years, soul or no soul, that shouldn't matter. he doesn't act any different, and it's upsetting that she thinks she has to keep the kids from him. after all the crap that i've dealt with in my life lately, i definitely need something happier. you are one of my favorite authors though and i wish you luck with the rest of the story. i hope to read more from you in the future.

Wow - that was a very intense prologue. I can't wait to read what ride you're going to take these characters on.

Wow. Not only does this look like a fantastic story, it's definitely a plot I have never seen explored. I'm really looking forward to more ...

I like how you explain that Buffy is not thinking about the risk of having a demon around so much as the unacceptability of any risk around her children. That seems to me a believable - and understandable - motivation. Also, the kids seem believable, too. I'm not into baby fics myself, but well-done family fics are rare and wonderful.

God, Pattie. *sobs* That was really hard to read and when I made it to the part with the kids saying goodbye to their dad I lost it. Me losing my grandmother not so long ago, just everything came flooding back. But I made it through. I think it's safe to say I HATE Buffy 100%. Bitch, how could she do that to her kids and Spike. She never really knew him at all. TPTB sent him back to her and this is how she treated him. Spike deserves better. (Never thought I'd say that, lol) Great prologue! Though I'm still crying, lol.

Great story, slayme. Loved the Best of Spike moments and your follow ups. Can't believe Buffy is such a bonehead.

pshh. Buffy's so dumb sometimes.

Wonderful beginning, I'm interested to see where you're taking this.

I love angst, and you write it so well. Poor Spike ... but at least, for once, Buffy has a reason to act as she does. Great start. I look forward to reading more of this. :D

Interesting start - ten years of domestic bliss would bring out the lioness protecting her cubs. Poor Spike - poor everyone.

Ok, I'm crying now, so thanks a bunch! Awesome story; can't wait for more... of course, I think you could post your grocery list, and I'd read it happily!!!