buffycinvert
05/26/2009 09:58 am
don't which would be nicer, being loved like Spike loves Buffy or being able to love like Spike does. Good story.
Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
06/29/2008 02:52 am
actual a break-through conversation, for them. very good read, thank you.
Thanks - it was about due, don't you think?
06/12/2008 08:53 pm
“Because god forbid that I could be putting up with you because I love you.”
She dropped to her knees beside him, biting her lip with frustration as she tried to express what she found the most unsettling thing about their volatile relationship.
“And I’ve been…been using you. Using the way you feel about me and the way you let me do anything I want – just to make…just so I can feel.”
___________________________________________________
I can't keep from thinking that the most important thing of all these tragic incident for Buffy is not what part Spike takes but what her own part is - why she is so completely filled with anger and hatred and places all those emotions on Spike. Even if they think of themselves as using his body as "a living sex toy" everytime they have sex it is like a small murder taking place - murder to the heart and soul of another being.
To me the question is not just why Spike allows himself to be used, my perspective was always about his tremendous capacity to love and not his capacity to be a victim.
This episode has always represented Buffy's killing of herself, her own "death desire" - she is not only killing Katrina (they perfect metaphor of the sex toy in maid's outfit on her knees) but she is also breaking the heart of Dawn and Spike - even in the clothing that is worn by these three character, Dawn has little hearts on her pj and Buffy is shown wearing the typical Brown and Black that is worn when she is killing off her boyfriends. She wears that Brown leather coat and black sweater and Spike wears that black shirt that has patterns that suggest the yin-yang form.
Sorry for taking up all this space - but I think this was such a huge episode and part of their story - and a part that was utterly ignored by the writers - glad that you are taking on trying to get some answers for her.
She dropped to her knees beside him, biting her lip with frustration as she tried to express what she found the most unsettling thing about their volatile relationship.
“And I’ve been…been using you. Using the way you feel about me and the way you let me do anything I want – just to make…just so I can feel.”
___________________________________________________
I can't keep from thinking that the most important thing of all these tragic incident for Buffy is not what part Spike takes but what her own part is - why she is so completely filled with anger and hatred and places all those emotions on Spike. Even if they think of themselves as using his body as "a living sex toy" everytime they have sex it is like a small murder taking place - murder to the heart and soul of another being.
To me the question is not just why Spike allows himself to be used, my perspective was always about his tremendous capacity to love and not his capacity to be a victim.
This episode has always represented Buffy's killing of herself, her own "death desire" - she is not only killing Katrina (they perfect metaphor of the sex toy in maid's outfit on her knees) but she is also breaking the heart of Dawn and Spike - even in the clothing that is worn by these three character, Dawn has little hearts on her pj and Buffy is shown wearing the typical Brown and Black that is worn when she is killing off her boyfriends. She wears that Brown leather coat and black sweater and Spike wears that black shirt that has patterns that suggest the yin-yang form.
Sorry for taking up all this space - but I think this was such a huge episode and part of their story - and a part that was utterly ignored by the writers - glad that you are taking on trying to get some answers for her.
You've given this so much thought - I hope you aren't disappointed in the final chapters! Thanks so much for the steady reviews and comments.
All4Spike
06/12/2008 12:15 am
At last, 'The Talk' that Spike always wanted and Buffy always refused him. And thank goodness for Tara accepting that Spike loved Buffy and making Buffy see that it was so. She's still so worried about what the others are going to say about it though. Always so desperate for approval. Poor girl. Angel damaged her so badly.
I look forward to seeing what happens in the morning when they are discovered asleep together on the couch.....
I look forward to seeing what happens in the morning when they are discovered asleep together on the couch.....
It might surprise you...:)
06/11/2008 07:47 pm
loved it, loved it, loved it! nice to see some good spuffy conversation. and buffy doing a little admitting to her badness. and, oh, willow's having them magic issues! i totally forgot bout tht part...
love the fic, and the update. will we see dawnie figuring out in the morn when she wakes up maybe? i sooooooo want her to know. and yell at buffy for beating spiek up! =P
~liz
love the fic, and the update. will we see dawnie figuring out in the morn when she wakes up maybe? i sooooooo want her to know. and yell at buffy for beating spiek up! =P
~liz
Hee! Thank you. :)
06/11/2008 04:51 pm
Ah---great update. Buffy's token of her blood was a telling gesture. Seems they're making progress.
I wanted to clarify my comment in my earlier review. I only meant your descriptions were so graphic and well written I could literally see it as I read. I was purely meant as a compliment.
Oh, I didn't take it as anything else. It was intended to be a brutal scene, so even if you hadn't meant it as a compliment, I would have found it to be one. LOL
Progress is being made, but they have a little bit farther to go...
Progress is being made, but they have a little bit farther to go...
06/11/2008 03:05 pm
Buffy is still being quite a bitch but not as bad as in canon. Anything else would not be believable actually so that is not a complaint.
Wish she'd see herself for the abuser she is and also see Spike for the love filled man at his core. He made many a mistake but with no one there to show him proper behavior ... what can you expect? Hope Tara and Dawn will bring in a few home truths.
How lovely to have this story in your hands because you not only tell a good tale in ways that fit the characters but you also have a clear idea of what they are deep down. It's in good hands and I enjoy every word.
Kathleen
You write the most wonderful reviews! *squishes you*
06/11/2008 12:26 pm
Buffy managed to have a pretty frank heart-to-heart there - if she can keep on doing that instead of thinking the worst of Spike, they stand a chance. He made some telling points while letting her off very lightly. I hope she doesn't crumble before Scooby censure.
Well, one of my normal themes in fics set in season vi is that the Scoobies may not be as censuring as she expects them to be, so we'll see what happens. :)
ya_lublyu_tebya
06/11/2008 09:53 am
Lovely update. Absolutely loved Buffy's hesitant affection. Some nice snuggling too. And Spike shouldn't have to pay for Angelus- hope Buffy realises this and does something right for a change. Good work.
Thanks - I'm trying not to rush Buffy's change of heart too much. I hope you like the rest of it.
06/11/2008 04:42 am
“So, I have to pay because Angelus is a wanker?”
It always comes back to this, doesn't it?
Great chapter, and a very good talk between S&B.
It always comes back to this, doesn't it?
Great chapter, and a very good talk between S&B.
It does so often seem to, doesn't it? So much of the distrust of Spike's motives and the insistence that he cant love - all can be laid at the feet of Angel/Angelus and his inability to do so.