Disclaimer: Joss owns them all, I’m only having fun.

Thanks to Copy for the fab challenge requirements (which will be published at the end of the fic when it‘s done). To Stephanie, who is also doing this challenge for being supportive and promising not to read this until it’s done. Over all rating of NC-17 (cause I have a smut filled ending planned), but the first couple of chapters are pretty tame.
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Chapter 1: Dangerous Mail

Angel took a look at his mail and in particular, the large manila envelope. Like a little kid on Christmas day, Angel, Scourge of Europe shook the envelope to discover its contents. Revealing nothing of significance in the shaking, Angel finally succumbed to the urge to open the envelope and peered into the dark recesses.

From across the room, Fred stopped dead in front of the doorway and braced herself against the frame. The room shook and in Angel’s direction she could see nothing but an intense light.

“Angel!” she screamed. She shielded her eyes from the intensity of the light.

The rumbling and the light was finished in a second, throwing Angel’s body back into the wall. Fred steadied herself against the door frame before running to her friend.

“Angel? Are you ok?” she asked with concern, helping him up off the floor.

Angel nodded cautiously and took her offered hand. Glancing about the room, he looked slightly disorientated from his shock.

“There doesn’t seem to be much damage,” offered Fred helpfully, thinking she was anticipating his question. “You don’t look well. Do you want me to get you some blood?”

Again Angel nodded.

He watched her leave the room before seating himself down in his chair. He shook his head to clear it of the discombobulated thoughts that were flitting through his brain. Angel looked up once more to survey the room. There in the corner was a figure he thought he’d never get to see again. After all vampire’s didn’t have reflections.

The tall dark and broody vampire stood up and took a few steps towards the figure in the corner. The figure in the corner looked as confused as he was.

“Bloody hell,” said Angel.

He looked the figure up and down, from his bleach blond hair, eyebrow scar, to the all black ensemble and leather duster, down to the scuffed Doc Martens.

“If that’s my body, where the hell am I?” asked Angel’s body.

“You are in my body,” said the Spike figure angrily.

“Peaches?” asked the being inhabiting Angel’s body.

“No, Pavarotti.”

“And how the hell did I end up in your poncy duds?” asked Spike, bringing Angel’s arms up to inspect what he could of Angel’s body.

“I don’t know, but do you feel I don’t know...weird?”

“Might have something to do with fact that I’m in your broody body.”

“That’s not what I mean. I don’t feel, whole.”

“First things first, gotta suss out what you were doing when this happened.”

“What do you mean what I was doing? Why couldn’t it be you?”

Spike gave Angel a look. “Last thing I remember mate,” said Spike spitefully, “Was burning to a crisp in good old Sunnyhell.”

“It’s a crater now,” said Angel.

“Oh, right, makes sense,” said Spike suddenly choked up. “Did...did they all make it out ok?”

“Everyone being Buffy?” said Angel harshly.

“And the bit.”

“The bit?”

“Dawn, you poncy bugger! Not that you cared whether she was alive or not. Self righteous git.”

“Oh.”

“Ya, ‘Oh.’”

“So you came out of the amulet then? That seems the most likely explanation,” said Angel, walking towards the desk in Spike’s clunky Docs.

Spike sat down in Angel’s chair, in Angel’s body and put his feet up on the desk. “Let me know when you figure the bloody mess out, mate.” Spike put his hands behind his head and leaned back.

“You aren’t going to help?” asked Angel annoyed.

“Figure you got us into this little problem, you’d best get us out.”

“Well that’s just great Spike. Thanks so much.”

Angel reached forward to pick up the envelope and the amulet, only to have the items and the desk pass through him.

“This is not good,” muttered Angel.

Spike snickered. “Looks like you’re stuck in my ghostly body there Peaches.”

Angel glared at the vampire in his body, in his chair. It was at that moment that the girl, who had been with him when all this happened reappeared at the doorway, holding a glass of blood.

“Angel? Are ya feelin’ better?” she asked sweetly, looking directly at Spike.

“Fred? That’s not me, I’m stuck in his body, and he’s a ghost or something,” said a frantic Angel.

“That was a weird light and the shaking? I bet you want to get on the research for that right away huh?” asked Fred completely ignoring Angel.

“Fred?” said Angel, walking closer to the girl and waving a hand in front of her face. “Fred?”

Spike stifled a snicker.

“Oh,” said Fred startling herself for a moment. “Here’s your blood,” she said pleasantly.

Spike reached forward and took the glass from her, passing his hand directly through the form Angel was inhabiting.

“Thank you pet,” said Spike with a smile on his face. “I’ll let you know about that research business.”

“Sure thing,” she said before turning and bouncing out of the room. “By the way, love the accent.”

Spike smiled and kicked back in the chair, sipping his blood. Human blood at that. He hadn’t had human blood in a good long time, Buffy wouldn’t have approved, not since he sired all those people when the first had been in control.

“Fred didn’t see me, that’s the only explanation. She wouldn’t ignore me like that,” muttered Angel.

“She didn’t see you, she didn’t hear you. She thinks I’m you. Do you know how much fun I’m going to have?” said Spike between sips.

“Spike...” warned Angel in a deep voice.

Spike smiled delightfully. “The way I see it mate, you can’t do anything. You’re all ghosty,” said Spike with a wave of his hand. “This might be a great opportunity to royally bollocks up your peachy keen unlife.”
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Buffy Summers, Slayer extraordinaire, sat in possibly the most uncomfortable chair she had ever sat in, flipping through her latest edition of Cosmo while waiting for her flight to be called.

Across the aisle sat Xander, playing with his gameboy. She passed a sympathetic look over her friend. They were heading back to LA, so that Xander could get a new eye. Giles had made a deal with the Evil Law Firm: Wolfram and Hart, for this. Giles said that Xander deserved it for all his work for the forces of good. Buffy wasn’t denying that.

She just thought that maybe there were others that deserved things too. Like she deserved to have a normal life, or Spike deserved a life period, or Anya for that matter, or any of the other potentials who died. Giles wasn’t chomping at the bit to make their lives better.

She had been burying people since she became a slayer. Merrick, Jenny Calendar, Tara, Kendra, her mom, the list went on.

Reaching up to wipe an invisible tear from her eye, Buffy tried to get back into the article she had been reading, ‘How to keep your relationship happy.’

If only reading Cosmo would make all relationship problems go away. Where was Cosmo when she was being nasty to the one person she could depend on?

Buffy was roused from her depressing thoughts by the whiny and annoying voice of one Andrew Wells, former guestage and all round pain in her side.

Giles had begged her to take him with her. If only to get him out of the senior watcher’s hair for a few days.

“Ok, I got, three bags of crisps, um, flavours, Cheeseburger, plain, and cheese, three cans of Fanta: 2 orange and an apple, a Caramilk, a Milky way and a Crunchie,” said Andrew handing out snacks. “What do you fancy?”

Xander set down his game boy to grab snacks.

“Andrew, repeat after me,” said Xander, “Chips.” Xander grabbed a bag of chips and held them up for display like Vanna White. “These are called Chips.”

“But...” started Andrew.

Xander took a better look at the flavour of chips he held in his hands. “And who decided that Cheeseburger was a good flavour for chips?” Xander threw the bag back at Andrew, and grabbed the plain flavoured chips instead, along with the Crunchie bar and an orange Fanta.

“Did you get gum?” asked Buffy, quietly.

“You didn’t ask me to get you gum,” said Andrew defiantly, opening up the bag of Cheeseburger chips.

“No, that was the one thing I did ask you to get.” Buffy closed her Cosmo and slammed it down on the seat beside her. “Never mind, I’ll get some.”

Walking away from Andrew was something she was getting very good at. It seemed that the longer she was in his presence the more times she had to leave the room or end up biting her tongue hard enough to draw blood.

Buffy sidled up to the concession stand and waited patiently for her turn. Tapping her nails on the counter she looked back at Xander who was in heated discussion with Andrew, probably on some topic only nerds could understand. Comparing Darth Vader to Darth Maul or some such nonsense. Actually the fact that she knew who Darth Maul was, was grounds for nerd-dom.

She was not looking forward to going to LA, or seeing Angel for that matter. How could she trust him now that he was allied with the Evil Law Firm. Granted the Watcher’s Council had sorta allied them selves with ELF *snicker* too, with Xander’s eye and all.

But why couldn’t the transplant happen anywhere else? There was a W&H office in London...

Buffy paid her 50p for gum and walked back to her seat.

Andrew was acting out a scene from a Star Wars movie and earning a critique from Xander.

This is going to be a l-o-n-g flight
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Spike, in Angel’s body, set about familiarizing himself with the various people who worked on the same floor as Angel’s office.

“Where are you going?” asked Angel trying to keep up with his body, inadvertently passing through people and objects.

Spike was doing a very good job ignoring Angel’s voice or rather his voice, Americanised.

He had to consciously refrain from using this natural way of speaking in front of the other people in the office. Angelus was Irish, and the sound of an English voice coming out of the mick’s mouth was blasphemy according to Spike. Spike knew he wasn’t the most PC of vampires.

Spike smiled. He wanted a drink, and Angel was going to pay for it.

This was going to be fun.
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tbc...

Disclaimer: The idea is Copy’s, the Characters are Joss’s, the plot is mine.

Feedback is my friend.
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Chapter 2: Desktop declarations

Yes it was the middle of the afternoon, but that wasn’t a problem when you were inhabiting the body of a vampire that had lawyer minions to do your every whim, to cart your broody ass where ever you wanted.

Spike called for a car to bring him to a local watering hole.

“Where do you think you are going Spike?“ asked an irate Angel.

“Gonna get you right sloshed mate,“ Spike said with a grin.

“It’s day outside.“

“Never stopped me before.“

“You can’t dust me while you are in my body Spike, you don’t know what will happen to you.“

“That may be true mate, but who said I wanted you dust?“ said Spike with a knowing look. “I’m just here for a good time. Been in oblivion for months. Saved the bloody world I did. I think that deserves a bottle or two of Jack.“

“You should be finding out how to get us back to normal. Or at least making it so that I can be heard and seen!”

“Now why would I do that Peaches?”

Angel crossed his arms and sat down with a pout. Unfortunately he forgot the part where he couldn’t touch stuff and fell right through the chair and landed on the floor.

Spike slapped his knee with delight.

The phone rang.

Spike deftly picked up the appliance and smirked in Angel’s general direction.

“Angel,” said Spike in his most Angel like of tones.

He listened attentively, as the flunky on the other end told him about the car waiting for him at the cargo entrance.

“Then I shall get my broody ass down there right away,” Spike said into the mouth piece and hanging up.

Spike looked right at Angel. “Got to keep up appearances you know, gotta have everyone here thinking I’m your poncy hair gelled ass, now don’t I?”

And with that Spike turned on his heel and headed out the door, leaving Angel alone in the office with no one to talk to.
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Spike found his way down to the cargo entrance with no problems. Well no problems after he found Carlos, from the mail room to direct him. Carlos was just the kind of man that before his chip days would have made a good minion to bleach his hair.

They had instantly struck up a conversation about Peaches’ hair.

“Hair is such an art form. I would have been a stylist, except my papa, you know how it is, sometimes you do things so your parents will be happy? I love your hair Mr Angel, such body, have you thought about highlights? Not that I don’t love the tall dark and handsome look.”

“You know,” said Spike, “I have been thinking about a new look, perhaps something radical, something with colour.”

Carlos nodded.

“Something that people will look at and think, now there’s a guy who’s not afraid of society.”

Carlos nodded again.

“Something pink.”
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Spike arrived at the bar, an upscale demon bar, with the full intention of getting Angel kicked out of the bar.

Spike ordered three shots of Jack Daniels straight off.

He earned a look from the bar tender, but the man (demon?) eventually just shrugged and poured the shots.

“Didn’t think that Wolfram and Hart were letting their boys back into my bar, not after that incident with the M’haloren...” said the bar keep. “You aren’t here on business are you?”

Spike smiled. “Would it make a difference if I was?”

The bar tender gulped.

“You see I’ve been thinking about branching out, you know, out on my own, set up a side business. Do you think actually whoring myself out would be much different than what I’m doing with Wolfram and Hart?” asked Spike very seriously, but earning a snort from the bar tender.

“Do you think I need a pimp?” continued Spike.

“You aren’t serious.”

“I? The magnificent Poofter? Champion of the Powers that Be? Completely serious.”

Spike downed a shot. He listened for a bit to the sounds of the piano in the background before downing his next shot.

Spike was actually starting to think that this was going to be a waste of time and effort. The bar was too snooty for him, or rather correction, to snooty for what he had made himself over his century and a bit of unlife.

Luckily, he was interrupted from his thoughts of just trashing the place for being bored, by the hand of a tall black man wearing a suit on his shoulder.

Spike grabbed the offender’s hand and back out of his chair. The man backed away with his hands raised.

“Chill man, it’s just me,” said the man.

Spike had no idea who this guy was.

“What are you doing here? You told the rest of us not to come here anymore.”

Spike shrugged, “Felt like it?”

“Doesn’t seem like a good excuse to me,”

“Maybe I don’t care what you think of the excuse? Was looking to get drunk, thought this would be a good place to start.”

The black man stared back at Spike.

“What has gotten in to you man?”

Spike shrugged. “I think it’s more of a who’s gotten in to me.” And with that Spike pushed the man away and headed towards the door, tripping up the waitresses and clients as he went, leaving behind him a trail of destruction.

“Hey!” called the bar tender, waving the bill.

Spike briefly turned. “Put it on Peaches’ tab,” he called and exited the bar.
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Buffy flipped through her Cosmo. Next time she took a transatlantic flight, she was so getting more than one magazine.

She kept staring at a picture of a bleach blond male model on page 43. He looked absolutely nothing like Spike. But the hair was a powerful reminder.

She wondered exactly where Spike was. Was he in a hell dimension, or did he redeem himself enough to be allowed to go to heaven.

Buffy looked over at her two travelling companions. Andrew was talking at Xander who was trying to watch the movie. Buffy smiled. She couldn’t hear a thing. Thank the Powers for ear plugs.
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Spike was corralled into the Limo once more. He needed to have fun, he needed to do something.

The problem was that the last time he felt this way, he had the ability to grab Buffy for a quick patrol, now he had no idea where she was or what she was doing. Of course now he had the resources of W&H.

“Where to sir?” asked the limo driver.

“Back to the firm Geeves!” called out Spike.

Spike snickered.

The limo was filled with scotch. And soon Spike had consumed all three of the bottles stored there. He was starting to feel that pleasant buzz from the scotch as the limo pulled up to the offices of Wolfram and Hart.

Spike made his way back through the loading dock and back up to Angel’s office only bumping into a few people. Most of whom he had never seen in his unlife. There was however someone which he instantly recognized.

Harmony.

Spike groaned. She was walking right towards him.

“Angel, you missed like all your appointments today,” she chastised.

“So?”

“So? I’m your secretary, I’m supposed to keep you on time and on schedule. I can’t be a good secretary you don’t let me do my job,” she whined.

Spike grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes, they were sad and in that moment, Spike suddenly felt very bad for all the barbs and snipes he ever threw her way.

Spike leapt up on the nearest desk and cleared his throat.

“Oy!” he shouted, British accent completely returned. “I’d just like to say that, Harmony here is a bloody brilliant secretary and does a jolly good job keeping me, the magnificent poofter, in check each and every day. And,” he paused dramatically, “If I wasn’t hung up on the love of my life, Vampire Slayer who sadly loves someone else, a right handsome bloke too if I might add, I would at once sweep her away to my stately mansion and do unmentionable things to her all day long. But alas, I am forever destined to love someone who no longer loves me, and care only for my gelled locks and poofy shirts.”

The people on the floor looked up at him with disbelief in their eyes.

“Thank you.” Spike hopped down from the desk and smiled at Harmony.

“Thanks,” she said confused, “I think. Did you drink some bad blood or something?”

“Nope,” Spike said with a smile and a resounding pop on the p. “But I do need you to find out where Buffy is.”

“The Slayer?”

“No, Saint Marie. Of course the bloody slayer, you daft bint!”

“Geez, chill,” said Harmony defensively. “She’s on a plane, on her way here. I thought you knew that.”

A smile spread over his face.

“When does she get in?” he was practically bouncing in place.

“Uh, a few hours.”

“Great!” said Spike, his buzz wearing off and his ability to control his Angel-ness returning.

“Are you sure you are ok?”

“Right as rain, I’ll be in my office.”

Spike turned on his heel and made for the poofter’s office.
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Spike was confronted by his ghostly figure as soon as he walked in the door.

“Where have you been?” asked Angel.

“You didn’t tell me that she was coming here!”

“You didn’t ask,” was Angel’s response.

Spike shrugged off the suit jacket that he had been wearing. “You got anything else to wear?” he asked.

“What’s wrong with that?” asked Angel pointing to the smart suit pants and shirt that his body was wearing.

“It’s stuffy. Poofy really. So what has the great poofter been up to?”

“What do you think I’ve been up to?” asked Angel. “Stuck in here with no one to talk to and I can’t touch anything...”

Spike pouted at Angel for a moment. Then smiled. “Got me a lady to see. Have to make sure she sees just the right side of you.”

Spike chuckled and headed out the door again, leaving the office wide open.
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“Carlos, take me somewhere where I can get out of these stuffy clothes,” said Spike barging into the mail room.

Carlos’ face lit up, “Yes sir!”
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tbc...

Disclaimer: Joss would never do this to any of his characters, I’m evil that way, cause it’s fun.
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Chapter 3: The ‘Humiliate Angel’ Road trip

Spike followed Carlos back to the limo, and slid in next to him. The mail room boy seemed extremely eager to get in good with Angel the boss man. Spike suspected a slight crush from the boy in the broody one’s direction.

“Firstly I need to get some colour into this wardrobe of mine,” said Spike.

Carlos nodded eagerly. “I know just the place Mr Angel.”

Spike leaned over to check the limo’s stash of booze, and was pleasantly surprised that it had been restocked.

Uncorking the decanter, Spike had to admit that the poofter did have excellent taste in whiskey.

The limo pulled in front of a very loud men’s store. Spike smiled sinisterly. This was going to be fun.

An hour and a half later Spike emerged from the place with Carlos in tow, sporting the most outrageous lime green suit Spike had ever seen, with an orange shirt and white dress shoes. The clerk at the store had said that it suited his complexion very well. Spike just hoped that when Angel got the pictures back he was there to see his face.

“To the stylist Carlos,” ordered Spike with a gleam in his eye.

When Spike emerged from Carlos’ stylist, Spike, well Angel actually, was sporting neon pink hair.
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The next stop in the humiliate Angel’s body road trip was a place called “Need another Hole?” It wasn’t the classiest of joints as piercing parlours went, but Angel’s body was a vampire body and was not susceptible to those nasty germs and bacteria that would kill a human being.

He listened intently as the man with the piercing gun told him all the pertinent information about keeping the piercing clean and free from infection.

Spike nodded absently, planning other delights for later.

Spike removed his shirt and sat back in the chair. He had chosen a medium sized silver hoop for Angel’s left nipple, and a silver barbell for his right ear.

Spike hadn’t had a piercing since the 70’s, it was unfortunate that on vampires piercing hole just grew back as soon as you took out the stud.

“Come on then, let’s get this over with,” said Spike, “Carlos? You got the camera ready?”

The mail room boy nodded. Spike had contracted Carlos to take pictures of the road trip, providing endless hours of fun, and blackmail.
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“Where to next boss,” asked Carlos.

The sun had at last gone down.

“Take me somewhere I can dance Carlos,” ordered Spike.
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Buffy stepped off the plan nervous and anxious, but ever so glad that that horror was now over. Of course this also meant that she had had to take out the ear plugs and now she had to listen to Andrew.

“I have valid points too you know, you can’t just dismiss me! I am a valuable member of the team. To the mission,” whined Andrew, ineffectually lugging his large suitcase behind him.

“The mission?” asked Buffy sceptically. “To escort Xander to the doctors? Just how are you a vital member of the mission team? Why do you even need to be here?”

Andrew shrank back.

“He’s here for the comic relief, Buffster. This is a traumatic time for me, more so than the losing of the eye. I could have the eye of a murderer or something stuck in my head,” offered Xander.

“I’m sure that’s not going to happen Xan. But if you feel that Luke Skywalker here is useful, who am to complain, just a slayer, one among many.”

The two men stared at Buffy for a few seconds.

“Who said that only the guestage could whine?” said Buffy, grabbing her suitcase and walking out of the airport, swaying her hips.

“She needs to get laid,” whispered Andrew.

“In the worst way,” agreed Xander.
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The bar that Carlos picked out was one that Spike knew that Angel would have a hard time believing he was ever in. The bouncer at the door was in drag and was undressing him with his eyes.

Spike resisted the urge to punch the drag queen’s nose, instead he motioned Carlos to take a picture of him and the bouncer.

“You don’t mind do you?” Spike asked the bouncer, who was smiling dumbly up at Spike.

Spike wrapped his arm around the bouncer and pulled him close, raising his leg up. They smiled for the camera.

The bouncer even had the gall to slip Spike his number. Spike just smiled and thanked the man wearing the dress. Maybe Spike could make Angel a little scrap book.

Spike looked closer at the number.

The bouncer’s name was Percy.

Spike and Carlos entered the club and headed straight for the bar.
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It seemed to Buffy that she had been doing an extraordinary amount of waiting during this trip. Cause now she was waiting outside Angel’s office waiting for Angel to show up. He was supposed to introduce Xander to the doctors that would be doing his operation.

It was official she was bored. Harmony had told her that Angel was out, but he was expected back any time.

That was an hour ago.

You don’t leave Buffy Summers waiting for an hour.

“Harmony, I’m going in Angel’s office to use the phone,” Buffy stated.

Gathering up her purse and leaving Xander and Andrew playing gameboy Buffy breezed past Harmony and into Angel’s office.

Setting her purse down on Angel’s desk, Buffy grabbed the phone and started dialling Giles’ number. She had gotten to the 7th digit when she looked over into the far corner of the dark office....and fainted.
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Buffy woke up to see Harmony hovering over her, muttering to Xander and Andrew, Wesley and a few others she didn’t recognize right away.

Then she saw him.

Looking past the whole congregation, she locked her eyes on his piercing blue orbs.

“Spike?” she whispered.

Angel rejoiced that he could be seen. He wasn’t thrilled that they thought he was Spike, or that he couldn’t talk or touch things, but it was an improvement.

Angel smiled at Buffy and shook his head. “Angel, Buffy, I’m Angel,” he said loud and slowly, trying to make her understand.

Buffy wasn’t paying attention. She was up off the floor in an instant and moved towards him, trying to hug him, but passing right through him.

“What happened to you?” she asked tearfully.

Angel shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh God Spike, I missed you so much, and after all this time, I can’t even touch you!”

“Not Spike, Angel!” shouted Angel, even though no one could hear him.

At last Buffy saw that he was trying to communicate.

“What about Angel, Spike?” she asked. “Did he do this to you?”

“I’m Angel!” said Angel frustrated. “God,” Angel threw his arms up in the air. “You can’t hear.”

“Perhaps Angel knows what happened here,” said Wesley seriously. “It might be best if we found him as soon as possible.”

“Yes!” said Angel clapping his hands together. “Excellent idea Wes.”

Wesley walked over to Harmony’s desk and leaned over menacingly.

“Have you had any luck locating your boss?” the ex watcher asked.

“As a matter of fact... His limo is parked just outside the Purple Banana.”

“The Purple Banana?” asked Gunn, “Isn’t that a drag bar?”

“I’ve never been to one of those before, should be exciting don’t you think?” said Fred eagerly.

“Ooh, agreement!” said Andrew.
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Buffy, Wesley, Andrew, and Fred entered the Purple Banana keeping an open eye out for Angel.

“There’s a lot of people here,” said Fred. “Maybe we should split up?”

Buffy nodded her agreement. The bar was a crowd of scantily clad men, men dressed in outrageous costumes and men dressed as women. Buffy didn’t think she had ever seen so many sequins.

She couldn’t imagine Angel even in such a place.

Across the room Wesley walked towards the back of the bar. He too couldn’t believe that Angel was in this place, unless it was for a client meeting.

The music was pulsating, lights were flashing. Fred thought it was the most deeply happy place she had ever been to. She loved how the lights reflected off the disco balls and scattered light every where. Instantly her mind stopped to remind itself of the physical properties of light.

Andrew was dancing with a cute blonde in a red dress.

Buffy stalked towards the stage, where various men dressed in nothing more than g-strings were shaking their asses along to the beat of the music.

Buffy scanned the group on the stage for Angel, she knew that he would never be caught dead on that stage. But it didn’t hurt to check. There was only one Brunette among the men and he was thin and definitely not the same build as Angel.

However as the line of men on the stage turned so that the audience had a full view of their backsides, Buffy spied Angel’s tattoo on the back of one of the men.

“Angel?” gasped Buffy as she took in the figure who was sporting Angel’s tattoo.

He had pink hair and was wearing a g-string with green feathers.

Buffy couldn’t help it. She started to laugh.
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Spike posed for another photo by Carlos, shaking his arse for the camera. He didn’t even remember how he had got dressed up in this get up, or how he managed to get up on stage. He was sure the bottle of tequila and bottle of JD had helped with that.

Spike turned once again, facing the audience to see Andrew dancing with some floozy of a drag queen. Spike called Carlos over and told him to bring him Andrew.

“The cute one dancing the one in the red dress?” Carlos asked, appreciating the way Andrew moved against the other man.

Spike nodded slowly.

If Carlos liked Andrew so much, maybe he could play match maker, Spike chuckled to himself.

But if Andrew was here....

Spike took a moment to scan the crowd.

Sure enough, there in the very front of the stage, laughing her ass off, was his slayer, his goldilocks, his Buffy.
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tbc...

Disclaimer: Joss said we could, right?
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Chapter 4: Conga Lines

Torn between the need to rush into her arms and to make her laugh at Angel’s broody arse shakin’ it all over the stage, Spike failed to notice Carlos pushing Andrew into his arms.

Spike took one look at the former guestage and smiled. He glanced back at Buffy to make sure that she was looking and began to grind into Andrew’s backside.

The discomfort was worth the look of shock on the slayer’s face. Spike pushed Andrew back to Carlos and hopped off the stage. Immediately he was accosted by various men wanting to dance with Peaches’ luscious bod. Not that Spike would admit that it was such.

Through the crowd, Spike kept an eye out for Buffy, who was swaying to the rhythmic music.

She was beautiful. Not that he thought she would have let her self go since his demise, just that her beauty was even more apparent when you didn’t see it every day.

Swept up in a conga line Spike found himself being carried further and further away from Buffy.
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Wesley still hadn’t found Angel. Despite walking the entire floor of the bar. Utterly disappointed with himself, he found Buffy and tried to put a happy spin on his failure.

“Angel doesn’t appear to be here, and yet the limo driver swears he’s here,” admitted Wesley.

Buffy turned to look at her former watcher with curiosity. “Oh he’s here Wesley, you just don’t know what to look for. He’s changed his hair colour.”

Buffy pointed towards the conga line of men on the far side of the room who were slowly making their way towards them.

Wesley followed her outstretched hand to the conga line and beheld something his brain could far from comprehend.

Angel, in a g-string, with pink hair.

And oh my lord is that a nipple ring?

Wesley gagged a bit, before Buffy started patting him on the back.

“Isn’t it like the funniest thing you’ve ever seen?” asked Buffy.

Wesley couldn’t say anything.
__________________________________________
Spike was truly enjoying the look from the man standing next to Buffy, the one that had ‘watcher’ written all over him. Clearly this gent knew the broody one.

Spike broke from the conga line, forming his own with Andrew and Carlos attached to his hips and made his way towards Buffy and the watcher man.

In his own body, Spike would have never admitted that he was having a good time in the Purple Banana practically naked, dancing to songs he had labelled poncy when they first hit the recording charts.

Dancing towards Buffy, Spike couldn’t help but think that she hadn’t looked so happy in a really long time.

Time to make with acting like his broodiness.

“Buffy!” exclaimed Spike, sans accent and in his best Angel goofy way.

Spike reached out and grabbed her hips, forcing her to dance in front of him.

“Angel?” stuttered Buffy, not from the seeing him, but from the fact that she was being pushed in front of the vampire, in a gay bar, at the head of a conga line.

“You haven’t been drinking tainted blood have you?” she asked finally getting her mouth working again.

“Nope,” said Spike pleasantly.

As they danced around Spike managed to catch a whiff of her hair, causing a rather obvious reaction, given the lack of clothing he was wearing.

Suddenly Spike spun Buffy around and ground his growing erection into her stomach.

He was of two opinions as to what happened next.

The look of pure disgust that crossed her face initially made him feel lower than dirt but then he realised something. He was in Angel’s body. Suddenly everything was different.

The look of pure disgust at his actions made his heart sing, as he was in Angel’s body. It gave him hope that in the months that he had been gone, sacrificed to saving the world, she had not forgotten him.

Spike smiled as Carlos took another picture, capturing Buffy’s priceless look and yet another stunning image of Angel with pink hair.

Buffy forcefully pushed away from him.

“What do you think you are doing?” she asked annoyed.

Spike smirked, well as much as Spike could smirk in Angel’s body, and leaned down to kiss his slayer.

“Get off!” she shouted. “What the hell has gotten into you?!”

“I think perhaps it’s time we went back to the office,” suggested the watcher boy.

“I think Wesley is right, Angel,” said Buffy, her arms now crossed before her. “You have some things to explain about Spike.”

Spike raised an eye brow. “Spike?”

“Ya, Spike, Bleach blonde, British, washboard abs, vampire, saved the world, ring any bells?” asked Buffy.

“I have a vague recollection...” said Spike.

“You are such a jerk,” said Buffy harshly.

Buffy spun Spike around and pointed him towards the door. “You have some explaining to do Angel.”

“And if I don’t give you the answers you want, are you gonna make it rough on me?” he asked with a leer.

Buffy looked at Spike like he had grown another head.

Nothing about what she had seen today was like him at all. She had begun to suspect possession, or drugging, or even the possibility of Angelus running amuck. She had ruled out the latter just due to the fact that the people in the Purple Banana were still alive, and dancing.

Carlos jumped out in front and snapped another picture, this time of Buffy pushing Spike out into the road.

“Boss? End of the roll of film,” said the mail room boy.

“New film Carlos, we can’t waste this!” ordered Spike in his most Angel of voices.

“Waste what?” asked Buffy.

“Nothing!” said Spike innocently.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Just get in the limo, Angel.”

“Come Carlos!” ordered Spike, as Buffy shoved him in the car, police style, hand on his pink head.

“Oh My Lord! Angel what did you do to your hair!” gasped Fred coming out of the club.
__________________________________________
Spike revelled in the fact that not only had he left all of Angel’s new loud clothes at the Purple Banana, but also that the group that had come to get him, hadn’t brought anything else for him to wear. Spike strutted through the lobby of the Wolfram and Hart building proudly wearing his green g-string happily aware of the fact of security cameras in every hallway and elevator.

Angel’s employees would be talking about this day for a very long time.

Buffy had been giving him the cold shoulder the whole limo ride, sitting as far away from him as possible.

Now safely in Angel’s office, Harmony poised at the door way, her mouth hanging open.

“Uh, Harmony, get Angel some clothes, please,” said Wesley urgently.

Spike didn’t care, he was lounging in Angel’s chair waiting for them to give him what for.

“You missed your appointment with Buffy and Xander,” said Harmony as she turned to go.

Spike shrugged.

“Did you know Spike was back?” said Buffy barely audible.

Spike turned his head sharply to look at his Slayer.

“Beg pardon?”

Buffy was about to open her mouth, when from the wall to his right, Spike saw Angel spirit through and glare at him.

“Spike!” gasped Buffy. “You gotta stop doing that.”

Spike watched Buffy make goo goo eyes at his ghostly spectre. It would have been touching except for the fact that Spike knew it was Angel in there.

“We have to find out why he’s a ghost, why we can’t hear him,” said Buffy.

“But we can see him, so improvement, right?” said Spike in his Angel voice again.

“What the hell did you do to my body!” yelled Angel as he finally looked at Spike. “My...My hair!” Angel pointed. “What did you do to my hair!”

Spike snickered in spite of himself.

“I know, look at him Spike, it’s like he fell into the Bird Cage,” said Buffy.

Angel glared at Buffy for a moment before returning his attention to Spike.

“What the hell...Is that a nipple ring?” roared Angel.

“I think the important thing here is to find out why Angel is acting like this,” said Fred suddenly.

“I think the important thing here is to find out how to make Spike solid and vocal,” said Buffy.

Xander entered the office.

“Oh god! My eye! Somebody put some clothes on the vampire!” shouted Xander.

“We sent Harmony to get Angel some clothes,” said Buffy bitterly. “How did the consultation go?”

Xander completely ignored Buffy‘s question. “Spike?” Xander strode towards the blonde vampire.

“Xander,” greeted Angel.

“I can’t hear you,” said the carpenter. “You are going to have to speak up.”

“No one can hear him Xander,” said Buffy sadly, “Also no touching.”

“Bummer...Wait, can I have that stricken from the record?”

“If we can see Spike, there has to be something that is reflecting light, that’s how we see things, light is reflected off what we see. We just have to find out what he’s made up of right?” said Fred hoping for some response to the problem.

“Right you get right on that little problem,” said Spike clapping his hands and sitting up in Angel‘s chair. “Carlos and I have things to do, before we solve today’s mystery.”

“You aren’t going anywhere with my body Spike!” shouted Angel. “How could they not know that it’s not me in there! And why aren’t you telling them?”

Spike smirked.

“Exactly what do you think is more important that finding out what is wrong with Spike?” said Buffy.

“Yeah!” said Angel.

Spike smiled softly at Buffy for a moment. “I have a little project I’m working on pet, Fred will sort us out,” he whispered softly, so that just she could hear him.

Spike walked out of the office, Carlos following behind him, and nearly knocking into Harmony as he exited the room. Harmony thrust the clothes into his hands as he walked by her.

Buffy stared at Angel’s retreating figure puzzled. Then her gaze shifted to Spike’s ghostly figure. And back again.

She didn’t know what to think.
__________________________________________
tbc...

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think Joss would do this to Angel?
__________________________________________
Chapter 5: The Magnificent Poofter

“What the hell is wrong with Angel?” asked Harmony to the room of assembled people in Angel’s office.

“That is one of the things we are attempting to determine,” said Wesley.

Harmony rolled her eyes and popped her gum.

“Well duh!”

“Go away Harmony,” said Buffy and Gunn at the same time.

The slayer and the demon hunter looked at each other for a second and smiled. Silently there was a mutual recognition that, yes, they were on the same side here.

“Fred?” asked Wesley, drawing Buffy’s attention back to the problem at hand.

“Oh ya, I’ll get on finding out why Spike’s all ghosty,” said Fred eagerly. “He’ll have to come down to the lab with me, is that alright?”

All eyes drifted to Buffy, who was looking at Angel, in Spike’s body.

“I’m going with you,” she commanded.

Fred nodded. “Sure.”

Angel smiled at Buffy, trying to catch her eye. Unfortunately for him, she seemed to be lost in her own little world.

Her own little world where she was trying to process the information that her brain had received that night. The facts weren’t meshing.

Angel didn’t tell her about Spike.

Spike was a ghost.

Angel called her ‘pet.’

Angel was acting like he was trying to make everyone think he was nuts.

There was only one conclusion that her brain could come up.

Buffy took a hard look at Spike.

“Can I have a moment alone with Spike before we go?” asked Buffy suddenly.

Silently the group left the two blondes alone. Shutting the door behind them, she turned back to the ghostly figure.

Angel closed the distance between them in a second and put his hand up against her face, careful not to let himself pass through.

Buffy backed away with a jerk.

“How could you use him like that! You nasty bitch!” screamed Buffy. “Is this the vengeance you get because he defeated your army of ubervamps? Why can’t you just let him rest in peace?” Buffy cried.

Wiping her tears, Buffy looked straight into the face of her dead lover and glared. The taunter was back. The First Evil was standing before her.
__________________________________________
Spike walked down the hallway and to the elevator clad only in angel’s green g-string, holding a pile of Angel’s clothes, Carlos following close behind him.

Spike tossed the pile of Dark and Broody’s clothes before he entered the elevator.

As the elevator doors began to close Spike turned to Carlos and asked, “So where does one get suited up with a cape in LA?”
__________________________________________
The alley was dark and forbidding. Just the place where one would look for the miscreants of society and the demons of the underworld. Spike’s ears picked up the faint sounds of a struggled in the distance. He turned to his side kick who was decked out in crosses and garlic (which Spike laughed at) and was holding his newest toy bought with Angel’s money, a video camera.

“Try to keep up,” said Spike smartly before turning and running towards the sounds of struggle.

Spike happened upon a lone vamp, a fledge, trying to make a meal out of a red head.

Launching himself up over a dumpster, Spike jumped down just in front of the fledge and his victim.

“Behold I am the Magnificent Poofter, the hair gelled crusader, here to help the helpless and save those badly in need of a professional hair stylist,” said Spike his hands on his hips striking a superman like pose.

The fledge turned and looked Spike up and down. He was wearing a pink unitard much in the same style as Superman, it went perfectly with the tint and colour of Angel’s new hair colour.

In the middle of Spike’s chest was the outline of a tube of hair gel, in green and had the letters MP in glittery gold inside. The look was topped off with a green cape and white Reebok runners.

The fledge started to laugh, letting his victim go.

“My work here is done,” said Spike haughtily.

Well almost, Spike took a stake out of his batman style utility belt and staked the vamp, who had lost control and was rolling on the floor.

“Come video boy, to the Angel mobile, away!”
__________________________________________
“Buffy! I’m not the First!” shouted Angel.

“I don’t know why you can’t talk, but I don’t care,” Buffy sniffed, “Leave him alone!”

Angel moved towards the distraught slayer. Buffy backed away.

“Please leave him alone!”

The door to the office opened and Xander walked in.

“Buffy? I heard crying? Aww crap,” said the carpenter, noticing his friend hunched over and desperately trying to keep in the sobs.

“What did you do?” yelled Xander at Angel.

“I didn’t do anything!” yelled Angel.

Angel shook his head and walked through the now open doorway. He looked straight at Fred and shrugged.

“Fix me, I beg you.”
__________________________________________
Spike had managed to take out 3 fledges, a Polgara, who had no sense of fun, and a Troll, who got away whilst in the tights and cape.

Video Boy was a capable sidekick but Spike had begun to tire of this exploit. He was hungry, all he had had to eat since getting plopped into Angel’s body was the glass of blood Fred had gotten for him.

“To the Angel cave, Video Boy!”
__________________________________________
Spike arrived back at Angel’s office to find the room curiously empty, even empty of Angel.

Spike had sent Video Boy on his way to develop the photos of the nights activities.

He settled Angel’s weary body down into the poofter’s chair and kick his white runners off this feet, settling them on top of the desk.

Reaching over to his intercom system, he barked at Harmony to get him some blood, pigs blood.

As it was, when he had come back into the office, Harmony had not been at her desk. Now, as she walked into Angel’s office, she at last spied Angel wearing his Magnificent Poofter outfit, lounging on his chair.

A really rude snort exited her nose, followed by violent shaking and finally, Harmony dropped the glass of blood down her front and fell to her knees convulsing with laughter.

“Now that’s just a waste of good blood,” chastised Spike.

“I’m *snort* sorry, *hic* Angel,” laughed Angel’s secretary. “Did Xander dress you?”

Spike stared hard at his ex girlfriend. “What a horrible thing to suggest!”

Harmony picked herself up off the ground and looked down at her outfit, now completely covered in blood.

“Ewww,” she whined.

“Don’t stand there all day jabbering about it, get me another mug of blood.”

Harmony came back, still chuckling to herself with another glass of blood, completely changed from her bloodstained clothes.

“So where are all the other psudo scoobies?”

“Down in the lab with Fred. Is that a nipple ring I can see through your tights?”
__________________________________________
Spike walked down to Fred’s lab, clad in his tights and cape, and white socked feet. The first of the assembled group to look up was Angel, who turned red.

“What the Fuck do you have me wearing!”

Spike smirked and walked to Buffy’s side, who was very clearly attempting to ignore him.

“I’m glad you could join us at last,” said Wesley.

Fred looked up from her microscope, around which they were all congregated, took one look at Spike and snorted.

“Angel! What are you wearing?” snorted Fred.

Suddenly all eyes were on him.

Spike ignored Angel muttering in the back ground and did a little spin.

“You like?” asked Spike.

“I’ve died and gone to a heaven which I have only dreamed about,” said Xander. “The mocking potential of this is just too good to pass up? So what’s your superhero name? Captain Forehead? The Brooding Wonder?”

“The Magnificent Poofter actually,” said Spike completely seriously.

Buffy looked up from Fred’s results that discounted the theory that Spike was the First. He was just a ghost caught between planes.

“It’s pretty conclusive that it’s a gradual thing, where ever Spike came from, he’s being pulled back here, by this, I think,” said Fred, holding up the amulet.

“So the Liz Taylor collection is what made him all ghosty?” asked Gunn.

“Seems like,” said Fred.

“So how do we get him back?” asked Buffy.

“Well, if we do nothing, eventually he’ll be his normal vampire self...whatever that is,” continued Fred.

Buffy’s brain was working on another theory. She had spent the last couple of hours with a broody Spike ghost. And now here was an Angel who was doing the most he possibly could to embarrass himself. And had just called referred to himself as a Magnificent Poofter.

Buffy took a look at Angel with the pink hair and the Pink tights and smiled.

“Are you done making an ass out of yourself?” asked Buffy.

“Not quite yet,” pet, he added mentally.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“I wish I had a camera,” continued Xander.

“Oh I had video boy take pictures, couldn‘t let all this effort go to waste. Posterity and all.”

There was silence in the room while the others contemplated the pink haired vampire in tights.

“Best leave you all to it then.” Spike turned with a flourish.

He exited the lab only to be stopped halfway to the elevator by a small hand on his arm.

Spike turned to see the Slayer her eyes slightly moist.

“S..Buffy?” asked Spike, almost slipping into the familiar.

“Before you go...” she trailed off. “I don’t know why exactly you’ve decided to do all this...” Buffy waved her hands at him. “And frankly I don’t care. What was said after Sunnydale...And now with being all ELF boy...”

“Elf boy?”

“Oh, ya, Evil Law Firm...ELF.”

Spike nodded and suddenly flashed back to his days with the nibblet when Buffy was gone and how he couldn’t for the unlife of him figure out what TMI meant.

“Anyway,” continued Buffy, “I just wanted to say that what I said in the Hellmouth was true....”

Buffy looked up into Angel’s brown cow eyes and smiled.

“I love you, Spike.”
__________________________________________
tbc...

Disclaimer: Joss said to write fan fic...so that’s what I’m doing.

Thanks to Copy for the ‘constipated’ line.
__________________________________________
Chapter 6: Angel Breath.

Spike looked at the woman he loved with a awed expression on his face. The fact that she knew it was him... Well yes he had dropped some hints...

Buffy reached up and put her hand on Angel’s cheek. It was amusing to think that Angel had another expression other than constipated.

“Buffy?” questioned Spike.

“I know it’s you Spike. How could I not? You called me pet, you...look at what you’ve done to Angel!”

Spike snickered.

“I’m sure that there is some deep seeded resentment against him, but really? Pink hair?”

“What can I say, love? I was inspired.”

Buffy shook her head sadly, then tried desperately to stifle a yawn.

“Right knackered you are.”

“Maybe a little,” she admitted sleepily. “Come back to the lab with us. I want you in your own body.”

“Now why would you want that pet?” he asked innocently.

“Why do you think?”

Spike raised his eye brow in that suggestive way he had.

A frown passed over Buffy’s face.

“I won’t be doing anything that you are thinking about while you are in Angel, Spike. It’s just weird.”

Spike rolled his eyes.

“Come back with me?” she asked. “Please?”

“And do what? Watch you sleep?”

“Hey! I’m not...ok, maybe I was going to, but...Hey!”

“What possible use could we be in a soddin’ Science lab?”

Buffy pondered that for a moment.

“We’d probably just blow things up,” said Buffy wistfully.

“Maybe we can blow up the whole ELF building?” suggested Spike.

“Oooh you are evil.”

“What can I say baby, I’ve always been bad.”

Buffy started to laugh.

“What?”

“It’s just so wrong when it comes out of Angel’s mouth.”

Buffy grabbed Angel’s hand and pulled Spike back towards the lab.

“Luv?” he said stopping her. “The tights were a right fine joke to play on the poofter, but they really are starting to itch....”

Buffy snorted.

“Fine go change. But I want you back in the lab ASAP!” she ordered.

Spike smiled. “Very well fair lady, to the Angel cave, away!” he said with a flourish, turning and bounding down the hallway.

Buffy snuck back into the lab earning looks from everyone assembled. Well everyone except Xander and Andrew, who had fallen asleep.

“Everything alright, Buffy?” asked Wesley.

“Yep, everything’s just great,” said Buffy. “How goes the de-ghostifying of Spike?”

“Nothing yet,” said Fred.

Buffy turned and looked at Angel who was pacing the room very Spike like. Buffy thought about exactly how horrible it must be for Angel to be not only trapped as a ghost in Spike’s body but knowing and seeing what exactly Spike was doing to his body.

Buffy made a mental note to buy Angel some brown hair dye.
__________________________________________
Spike came back into the lab, wearing normal Angel type clothes, and Buffy could almost hear the breath of relief that Angel exhaled out of Spike’s ghostly form. The pink hair was still far too bright, she couldn’t look directly at it.

“So, uh any leads?” asked Spike, Angel like, sans accent.

“Wesley and I have a theory,” said Fred.

“Out with it then,” Spike spouted eagerly.

“We postulate that the absorption of slayer blood into the amulet itself will increase the rate at which William the Bloody’s ghost will rematerialize,” said Wesley.

“I have to bleed on it?” asked Buffy eyeing the jewel.

“Yes, just until Spike can make contact with this dimension. Then the blood will be needed to ingested directly until complete materialisation.”

Buffy didn’t understand.

“So I bleed on it, and everything gets better? No funky chanting, or incense, or me getting gooified?” she asked.

“No, it’s goo free,” said Fred happily.

“It does appear that Spike will be tied to the amulet for the rest of his unlife. Which shouldn’t be a problem, really,” continued Wesley.

“Just don’t lose it and you can go where ever you want,” explained Fred to Angel, who was still pacing.

“I‘m still in Spike’s body!” shouted Angel, though no one could hear him but Spike. “Why don’t you tell them what’s going on?”

Spike turned away from Angel and grabbed Buffy around the waist.

“Let go!” she said playfully. “Not in front of the others!”

Spike smiled and turned to wink at Angel.

Angel smiled. “She still thinks you are me, you know,” said Angel smugly. “You think she wants you but it’s me she really wants.”

Spike knew it wasn’t true, but he let Angel think his words affected him. That is until Buffy let out a yawn.

“You’ve had a hard day Buffy. Why don’t you get some rest?” said Spike, very Angel-esque

Buffy nodded and let Spike lead her out of the room.

Spike found out where Harmony had booked Buffy, the whelp and the guestage to stay that night, sitting on Harmony’s desk along with details about Xander’s eye operation the next day.

“Have plans tomorrow?” asked Spike, his accent returning now that they were alone.

“Besides bleeding on a gaudy necklace? Not really. You?”

“Embarrass Peaches, part deux.”

“Oh yes, you know he’s going to kill you when he gets solid again.”

“Perhaps pet, but that’s why I have these...” Spike slipped into Angel’s office and brought out a package of photos.

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Can I see?” she asked grabbing the envelope from Angel’s hands and starting to go through the pile.

The clothes shop, the stylist, the piercing parlour, the bouncer (named Percy, informed Spike), the Purple Banana, Conga line dancing, the Magnificent Poofter.

Buffy wiped a tear of laughter from the corner of her eye and pushed the photo’s back into the envelope.

“Oh Spike, he’s really going to cut off your head.”

“Perhaps, Love, but it’ll be well worth it, just to see you smile,” Spike reached up and caressed her face with Angel’s bulky hand. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you so carefree.”

“Not in a good long time,” she agreed. “Are you going to take me to my hotel or what?”

Spike tried a leer, but unfortunately came off as something incredibly odd, coming from Angel’s perpetually broody face.

“Ug, I’m so not sleeping with you in his body Spike. I thought we talked about this.”

“We did pet, we did.”

“You’ve got Angel breath...”
__________________________________________
“Any change?” asked Buffy as she walked into Fred’s lab the next day. It was empty except for Fred typing away on a computer.

“Not really, but does he seem more, less see-through to you?” said the brunette.

Buffy peered closely at Spike’s transparent body.

“Little bit,” Buffy agreed. “So when do I get to bleed on stuff?”

“I think once everyone gets here. Welsey’s bringing coffee.”

“And Xander brings doughnuts...everywhere.”

Fred nodded and turned back to the computer.

“Has...” Fred began. “Has Angel ever acted this weird before. I mean I’ve only known him for a few years and all...”

Buffy smiled. “No, Angel’s never acted this weird since I’ve known him. But I haven’t known him all that long. Eight years really. Not long when you think that he’s 240 something.”

“Ya, guess it’s just one of his phases.”

“Phases?”

“Oh you know, brood, hate the world, brood, kill my friends, brood, join evil law firm...”

“E.L.F.”

“Huh?”

“Evil Law Firm...E.L.F. ELF. Like the keeblers or the Liv Tyler version.”

“Orlando Bloom,” drooled Fred for a second.

“With the platinum blond hair and piercing blue eyes...” babbled Buffy.

“Uh, Orlando Bloom has brown eyes...”

“Not in my world,” said Buffy.

“I think you like a certain blonde vampire.”

“Nah, you think so?” asked Buffy sitting on the edge of Fred’s work table.

“Does Angel know?”

“Kinda, sorta. We had not so pleasant words after Sunnydale collapsed.”

“When Spike died.”

“Yep, and now he’s back and I can’t touch him,” Buffy pouted.

“Soon you will,” said Fred, giving the slayer a smile.

Xander entered the room. “Beware one eyed scoobies bearing doughnuts,” he said happily. “Though my one eyed days are numbered. Today, the last day anyone will be able to get away with all the pirate jokes.”

“Aren’t you worried at all?” asked Fred helping herself to a glazed pastry of goodness.

“What can go wrong?” said Xander happily munching away.

“Ooh coffee,” exclaimed Buffy as Wesley came into the room with trays of coffee. “Where’s Andrew?”

“The Dungeon Master decided to check out the mail room,” supplied Xander.

“The mail room?” asked Welsey.

“Seems The Magnificent Poofter’s side kick, Video Boy was once formally known as Carlos from the mail room,” explained Xander.

“Do we know where the Magnificent Poofter is?” asked Buffy, only to wish she hadn’t said the words as Angel, in Spike’s body walked through the wall.

“Excellent, William the bloody has graced us with his presence,” said Wesley, slightly more sarcastic than Buffy would have liked.

“I’m not Spike!” seethed Angel, though no one could hear him.

Wesley set about explain what the ritual would entail. It was simple enough, BUffy would bleed on the member of the Liz Taylor collection while Fred would monitor Spike’s ghostliness. Buffy was holding the knife about to slit her palm for the blood needed when through the door in walked Angel, or rather Spike in Angel’s body, sporting today’s masterpiece.

“Holy crap!” shouted Xander, holding on to the arms of his chair.

The room erupted into giggles and snorts as Spike, keen on making the most of the event, turned around for everyone to view.

Angel, champion of the powers that be, was decked out in a bright red loud Hawaiian shirt, that clashed horribly with his pink hair, which was now teased into dread locks. He wore green short shorts and flip flops. And to top it all off, Spike had painted Angel’s fingernails and toenails sparkly purple.
__________________________________________
tbc...

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think that Joss would do this to Angel?

Author’s note: BSB said it was ok for me to use ‘Bring on the Bloodshed’ and if you haven’t checked out her site...Why haven’t you? www.bringonthebloodshed.com
__________________________________________
Chapter 7: Tinky Winky

“Oh god, what are you wearing now?” asked Buffy.

“I’m revisiting Xander the High school years...” explained Spike

“Hey!” protested Xander. “Hey!” A look of recognition passed over his face and he pointed at Angel’s body.

In a flash Buffy was covering up Xander’s mouth and pushing him out the room.

“Excuse the one eyed wonder for a moment will you?” said Buffy to the rest of the room. “Angel!”

Spike followed.

On the other side of the floor, Buffy finally let Xander go.

“Yes, Xander, Spike is in Angel’s body.”

“It explains so much,” Xander agreed. “You are brilliant! This vampire is brilliant. The magnificent poofter! Classic! You have photos right? Can I get a copy of those?”

Spike laughed and reached into one of the pockets of his loud Hawaiian shirt and brought out the envelope of photos.

“Sure whelp.”

“So is Angel in your body?” asked Xander, absently opening the envelope.

Buffy turned and put her hands on her hips, waiting for Spike’s retort.

“I don’t know now do I? The wanker can’t talk can he?”

“Spike...” Buffy warned.

“What?”

“You can hear him can’t you?” said Buffy.

“What if I can, don’t make a lick of difference,” protested Spike.

“Pfft!”

“Spike, my err...vampire you have just sky rocketed into position for my favourite vamp ever!” laughed Xander, who was flipping through the photos. “I’m framing this one!”

Xander held up a photo of Angel in the super hero costume, hands on hips and looking off into the distance.

“Always thought you had touchy feelies for the poofter whelp,” said Spike.

“Hey! Take that back!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Are you done? I have to go back into that room and bleed on the amulet, and Xander you have to be in the operating room in an hour. Shouldn’t you, prepare, or zen or something?”

“That would be the smart thing, but when have you ever known me to do the smart thing?” he asked seriously.

Again with the eye rolling.

“Just don’t tell the others, Fred might be ok, but I don’t want Wesley to stake Spike before we get him in his own body. K?”

“Does that mean we can stake him when he gets into his own body?” asked Xander.

“No!” shouted both Spike and Buffy.

“Yeesh, ok.”

When Buffy returned to the lab she had an overwhelming sense of guilt. She blushed under Wesley’s watchful gaze.

“Are you ready?” asked Wesley.

“Bring on the bloodshed!” said Buffy.
__________________________________________
She was bored. She was flipping through a copy of Vanity Fair that Harmony was done with. Buffy looked over at her hand suspended over the amulet, her palm dripping slowly on to the jewel.

The amulet itself didn’t look like it had been bled on for the past 15mins, it looked clean.

Fred was mesmerized by her computer, analysing something of significance.

Angel was pacing in the back ground. Fred had told him to keep walking through something, until he couldn’t anymore.

Wesley was at a table reading some ginormous volume.

But no one was talking...not that Angel could, but it was boring.

Until a loud crash sounded through the room. Buffy looked up startled. Wesley had dropped his mug of tea and was staring his mouth open at...Spike, in Angel’s body, wearing Pyjamas.

Buffy snorted taking in the image of Angel wearing footie pjs with teletubbies all over them. Not only that but he was clutching the purple teletubbie.

“My god Angel...” said Wesley shocked.

“That blood business must be doing something, cause it woke me up. Made me feel all strange like. Tinky Winky and I couldn’t sleep,” whined Spike.

“Oh poor vampire,” cooed Buffy. “How about you stay here and try to go to sleep?”

“Buffy really, this is hardly helpful. You are just encouraging this erratic behaviour,” said Wesley.

“Why...No I don’t really want to know,” said Fred turning her attention back to the computer.

Spike didn’t mind at all. He sat on the floor by Buffy’s feet and put his head in her lap. He quickly stole at look at Angel and winked at the brooding wonder.

“When I get solid again Spike....I swear....” muttered Angel, trying to kick the wall.

When Spike put Angel’s head in her lap Buffy looked down a tad bit shocked. She looked up at Angel, fuming in Spike’s ghostly body and smiled apologetically.

It wasn’t long before Spike was purring in her lap, asleep. Buffy returned to her page flipping, only to be startled by Andrew and Carlos from the mail room snapping photos of Angel’s head on Buffy’s lap, wearing teletubby pjs.

“Go away Andrew,” Buffy muttered as she petted Angel‘s head.
__________________________________________
“I don’t think that this is working,” said Fred forlornly. “Either that or we need a lot more blood.”

“We have to keep trying.” Buffy looked desperately at Fred.

“I’ll keep looking for a solution.”

Buffy let out an exasperated sigh, and began to bandage up her hand. Spike was still asleep in her lap, purring very softly, still clad in teletubby pjs. It had only been an hour, but already Buffy was feeling woozy from the blood letting. Sure it hadn’t been a steady stream of blood, but still bleeding wasn’t fun, no matter what the cause.

“Have you thought of maybe recreating the thing that made Spike appear in the first place?” asked Buffy.

“But we don’t know what happened. I just know there was a flash of light and some ground shaking,” said Fred.

“It is possible that Angel knows,” said Wesley.

“We have to assume that what ever brought Spike back as a ghost is also making Angel act really strangely,” noted Fred.

Buffy turned to look at the broody vision of bleach blond vampire that was standing in a corner muttering to him self.

“What happened?” Buffy asked Angel.

“I’ve said it a million times Buffy, I shook the envelope and looked into it, that’s it. But you can’t hear me!” shouted Angel.

Buffy shook her head. “Show me, I can’t hear you.”

Angel, in Spike’s ghostly body walked over to Fred’s table and pointed to the amulet. The awake persons in the room watched with rapt attention as Angel motioned that the amulet was in something. Then he shook the imaginary item. Acting like a very frustrated mime, Angel motioned that he opened the object and then covered his eyes like there was a bright light.

“K, so you are saying that the amulet was in something and you shook it, then the bright light happened?” asked Buffy.

Angel nodded emphatically.

“Fred, what was the amulet in?” asked Wesley.

“I...I don’t know!”

Angel waved Spike’s hands in front of Wesley’s face and motioned for them to follow him.

“Coming Buffy?” asked Wesley.

“No, I think I’ll stay here, with sleepy head,” she declined.
__________________________________________
Wesley, Fred and Angel returned to the lab with the envelope in hand.

“Found it?” asked Buffy with a yawn.

“I believe so,” said Wesley, taking the amulet off the table and putting it back into the envelope. “Now we need Angel awake to shake the blasted thing.”

Buffy glared at her former watcher. She thought her idea was a good one, and it was silly that they didn’t think of it first, especially before they tried to drain her dry.

Buffy nudged Spike awake.

“What?” he said sleepily.

“You have to shake the envelope, you silly vampire.”

“What’s it gonna do?”

“Hopefully make everything ok.”

“Then I’m getting up off your lap, don’t want him anywhere near you.”

“Oh goody more jealous vampire crap.”

“Can we just do this?” asked Fred. “It’s almost lunch time.”
Spike rolled Angel’s brown eyes, grabbed the envelope and walked across the room. Finally reaching a safe distance away from Buffy and from Angel, Spike held up the envelope and shook.

And Shook.

And Shook.

And nothing happened.

“Of course nothing’s happening you dolt!” shouted Angel. “You gotta open the thing!”

Spike stuck out Angel’s tongue and opened the envelope. He raised it to eye level and looked in.

Buffy watched anxiously for something to happen, for anything to happen. Slowly Buffy noticed that the ground was starting to shake and she had to put out her hands to steady herself.

“It’s happening!” exclaimed Fred.

Suddenly the lab was filled with an intense bright light.
__________________________________________
tbc...

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, all I want is my very own naked Spike, preferably chocolate covered, but Joss won’t let me even if I asked nicely.
__________________________________________
Chapter 8: Fun with Ghosts

The brilliant light filled the lab, causing the occupants all to cover their eyes. When the light faded and everyone was able to use their eyes again. Buffy looked expectantly between the two vampires. Had they returned to their own bodies? Was Spike still ghosty?

It was a curious sensation really. Kinda stung. Spike blinked a few times and looked about the room, expecting to see himself brooding somewhere in a corner.

“Remind me to bring my sunglasses next time, K?” said Fred. “I have spots in front of my eyes.”

“Remind me to be more careful with the mail next time,” muttered Angel.

The whole room looked up to where the voice was coming from. Standing in the doorway, Angel was still holding the envelope and amulet, still clad in Teletubby pj’s and still sporting pink hair that was teased into dread locks.

“Please tell me you heard me...” Angel begged.

Fred smiled. “We heard you Angel.”

“Oh thank god!” Angel lifted his eyes to the ceiling for a moment before starting to pat himself down. “And I’m me again?”

Across the room Spike groaned. “You are back in your broody ass body again Peaches,” said the bleached vampire.

“Spike?” whispered Buffy, walking closer his form. Buffy tuned out the other voices in the room as she walked closer, it was just Angel telling the others about being trapped in Spike‘s body, without being able to talk anyway. That much she knew.

She’d gotten used to associating pink hair and outrageous outfits and Angel’s voice with Spike. And now here he was back in his own body.

His really sexy body.

Buffy was about to reach out but found herself brushed aside by a livid Angel.

“You are going to pay for this Spike!”

Angel rushed at the bleached vampire with his arms outstretched. Just at the last second though Angel slipped on the floor with his footie pj’s and fell towards Spike.

Well actually through Spike.

Spike was still a ghost.

Buffy stared disbelievingly at the impossible scene before her. Spike looked solid, and yet, Angel was sprawled on the ground half sticking out of Spike’s legs.

Spike looked down to see Angel’s pj clad legs protruding from his personal space. “Bloody Hell.”

“Oh god,” muttered Buffy. “This is not of the good.”

“At least they are in their own bodies though, I think that’s progress,” said Fred.

“You knew?” asked Buffy. “You knew they were switched?”

“I knew he was possessed. Kinda suspected it might be Mr William the Bloody, from all the stories I‘ve heard, I mean even I know Angel would never wear a cape.”

“You knew! And you let him keep doing...with the hair and the outfits! Fred!” shouted Angel, hoisting himself up off the ground.

“I didn’t know it was him, it could have been some really nasty witch that had done it to you...”

“I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief now that Angel is no longer possessed by William the Bloody,” spoke Wesley.

“But now we have to get him all hard...er...solid again,” said Buffy a little sheepishly once she realised what she said.

Spike smirked and leaned over to whisper something in Buffy’s ear causing the slayer to turn red.

Angel growled and shot a look of death at Spike. He had heard Spike’s whispered promise that he was already hard.

“Lunch!” exclaimed Fred, breaking the tension the two vampires were creating.

“Yes!” agreed Buffy, rousing herself out of thoughts of naughty things she wanted Spike to do to her. “Lunch! Lunch is very much of the good.”

“Tacos?” asked Fred.

“Tacos,” agreed Buffy with a nod of her head. Buffy grabbed her purse and the amulet from Angel and followed the scientist out the door. “Come on Spike, let’s see if ghost you freckles.”
__________________________________________
After procuring take out from Taco Bell, Buffy, Fred and ghost Spike found a little park to have a psudo picnic in the sunshine.

“I think that’s why the blood thing didn’t work? You know? It was cause they weren’t in their own bodies,” explained Fred.

“What do you supposed the poofter is doing right now? Burning the tights or removing the nipple ring?” asked Spike, who was lying on the grass, his hands above his head.

“Actually he’s probably gone to get his hair fixed, Spike. What ever made you pick that shade of pink?” asked Buffy.

Spike shrugged. “It came to me like a vision.”

“Sure it did.”

“I liked the cape,” offered Fred.

“Thanks pet,” said Spike with a smile.

“Where did you get the teletubby?” asked Buffy.

“I’ve got to have some secrets goldilocks,” he said with a smirk.

“Uh huh,” voiced the disbelieving slayer.

“So you think if she’s bleeds on the Liz Taylor collection now that I’m in my own good looking and athletic body, I’ll get all hard...I mean solid?” asked the vampire.

“You are never going to let me live that down are you?” asked Buffy.

“Not plannin’ on it pet.”

“I think so, I mean I thought it was going to work before... I’m real sorry it didn’t,” Fred looked down into her now empty hands.

“No!” Buffy gave the brunette a friendly smile. “You did good, I’ll try again. Tomorrow, feeling slightly drained.”

“Ya we should probably get back,” sighed Fred.

“Xander should be getting out of surgery soon, we should be there when he wakes up,” agreed Buffy.
__________________________________________
Wolfram and Hart’s medical bay was a sterile and hard environment, not someplace that she EVER wanted to visit again.

Looking down at Xander’s sleeping body, his head wrapped in layers of gauze, he looked kinda like mummy Xander, from the nose up anyway.

“Wrap the rest of him up pet, let’s have some fun,” suggested Spike.

Throwing a glare at the vampire Buffy tightened her grip on Xander’s hand.

“Spike, I’m not going to mummify Xander!”

“Just a bit of fun, goldilocks.”

“Can I just say a big no to the mummifying?” came a weak Xander voice.

Buffy’s face lit up in a smile. Course Xander couldn’t see it. She squeezed his hand.

“I’m glad you are awake, Xan. How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve had an eye ball shoved in my head. And the curious need to sleep.”

“Well, you should probably sleep then, and get with the better.”

“Ok, g’night,” mumbled Xander, trying to get comfy on his hospital bed.

“Good night Xander,” murmured Buffy.

The room filled with silence that was only punctuated by the intermittent beeping of the monitors. Buffy looked across the room to Spike who was standing, his arms crossed, looking directly at her, a look of delight, lust and love covering his face.

The look he was giving her, it did things to her. This whole thing, with the Angel switching and the ghosty business, it sucked, cause right now, god how she just wanted to take him back to her hotel room and do naughty things to his resurrected body.

She loved him, she missed him. And they had a few things to talk about until they made with the smoochies.

“You wanna go somewhere and talk?” she asked.

“You’re the one with the gawdy bauble pet,” he observed.

She smiled. “Guess I own your ass then don’t I?”

“You do at that,” he agreed.
__________________________________________
They really didn’t end up going anywhere in particular, just walking until they found a bench to sit on out in the sun. Well Buffy sat, Spike kinda squatted beside her, ghosty and all he couldn’t sit on the bench.

“How’s the bit?” he asked, beginning classic avoidance.

“Oh, fine, got the whole Watcher’s council at her beck and call. She’s convinced both herself and all the surviving watchers that she’s Giles’ protegé, she’s already decided what her thesis is going to be about, you. ’William the Bloody, the man behind the legend,’ or something less biography channel. She’s gonna be so happy when I tell her you’re back. She missed you, and she’s really sorry about last year. We’ve had quite a few uncontrollable sobbing sessions together since you were gone. But I tried you know, to live. And I do, what I said in the ELF building, I do love you Spike.”

Spike smiled. “I know pet.”

“But in the cave, you were all ‘No you don’t but thanks for sayin’ it’” said Buffy mimicking his accent.

“Wasn’t the right time for a touchy feely moment, love, you were about to get your head bashed in by the ceiling falling down.”

“It hurt, thinking that you didn’t believe me.”

“I did. I’ve known you too bloody long to not know that you don’t say something like that to just anyone.”

“That much is true. I‘m glad you are back,” she said shyly. “I missed you. Every time I looked around a corner and saw a coat like yours or some guy with bleached hair, I’d think it was you. And now here you are, ghosty and I can’t even give you a hug.”

“Buffy, love....”

“You wanna hug me too...but you can’t .”

Buffy looked down at her hands and sighed. “So what am I going to do with my vampire, now that I own his ass?”

Spike looked up and smirked. “I have some ideas pet.”
__________________________________________
And oh the ideas he had. Those ideas brought them back to Buffy’s hotel room.

Buffy had deposited her bag by the head of the bed on the floor before turning back to Spike who was standing before the closed door.

“Close your eyes pet,” he ordered.

She complied. As her eyes fluttered shut, Spike began his circular voyage around the room.

“We are going to pretend, goldilocks, that your hands are my hands.”

“Ok,” she breathed.

“You can start by unbuttoning your blouse,” he purred.

Her eyes closed, Buffy slowly did as he bid, letting the garment slide to the floor naturally and revealing a ivory lace bra.

Spike licked his lips and walked up next to his slayer

“Pull your hair back from your neck,” he whispered into her ear. “God you are beautiful Buffy.”

A small smile graced her lips as she ran her hands down her chest and across her lace covered breasts.

“You know what I’d like to see pet? Suck on one of your dainty fingers for me pet.”

Without hesitation Buffy slid one of her hands back up her torso and her index finger into her mouth, sucking for moment.

It wasn’t hard for her to imagine it was Spike’s finger she was sucking on. Following his commands, her wet finger trailed a path down her throat and between her breasts, sliding under the lace and began to play with a nipple, until Spike got frustrated that he couldn’t see.

Buffy stopped for a moment to remove her bra before sliding her hands back towards the nipple that previously had had so much attention.

Spike’s commands resumed, and Buffy followed, allowing her hands to caress her skin and work her nipples to hard points.

Buffy slid her hands into the waist band of her jeans for a moment, before heeding Spike’s wishes and popping the button and sliding the zipper down, revealing her matching lace panties.

She opened her eyes when he groaned. Giving him that half smile thing she knew guys liked, Buffy shimmied her jeans down with a wiggle.

Buffy let her eyes flutter shut once more and listened as Spike’s sexy voice persuaded her lie back on the bed.

Crawling up on the giant king size bed of the hotel room she gave one last wiggle of her ass in Spike’s direction before she lay back against the pillows pulling her knees up coyly.

“You aren’t shy now?” he asked.

“No, you are just gonna have to ask nicely to see any more,” she purred.

“Oh, love, god you are gorgeous, you really have no idea.”

“I do have some idea,” she said smiling. “It’s how I really knew it was you.”

Spike reached towards her face, hoping to caress her soft features, only to have his hand slide through her.

“God, I wish I could touch you,” he moaned, frustrated.

“I know, Spike, I want to touch you too.” Buffy’ face pouted, until her eyes lit up like she had just had the most brilliant idea.

Buffy rolled over on the bed, her head over the side, and started digging around in her bag. After a moment, Buffy sat up on the bed, still topless and in lacy knickers, but now she was holding Spike’s amulet.

“Just what are you going to do with that pet?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
__________________________________________
tbc...

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, all I want is my very own naked Spike, preferably chocolate covered, but Joss won’t let me even if I asked nicely.

Author’s note: Thanks to everyone who has been following this story. Thanks again to Copy for the fab idea and for the great encouragement. The challenge requirements follow this chapter.
__________________________________________
Chapter 9: Suck it Up

Buffy slid the amulet between her breasts, directing Spike’s attention.

“Slayer...what’s gotten in your head?” asked the highly turned on ghost vampire.

Buffy was sitting topless, wearing only her lacy panties, on the large bed of her hotel room provided by Wolfram and Hart.

“I have an idea, I thought I just said that...”

Buffy slipped the amulet’s chain around her neck, and started crawling towards Spike’s ghostly spectre. Reaching the end of the bed, Buffy leaned over the side and felt around under the bed for something, finally bringing out a small dagger.

“Can never trust those hotel door locks, you know,” she said smiling.

Without waiting for him to respond, Buffy sliced across her left breast, only a shallow cut, but enough so that the blood was dribbling freely from the wound.

Spike watched with open mouthed fascination as the drops of blood followed the path of the amulet’s chain across her chest. His eyes followed the leading drop of blood, getting ever closer to the amulet’s jewel. Unconsciously, Spike neared his Goldilocks, reaching out to her, as the blood flowed ever closer.

Buffy looked up into his piercing blue eyes, wishing that he would just touch her.

And he did.

Spike’s hand made contact with the smooth skin of Buffy’s cheek, the same moment that the first trickle of blood reached the amulet’s jewel.

Buffy’s hand flew to her cheek, meeting with Spike’s tepid fingers. A smile spread over both of their faces, and Buffy launched herself into his arms.

“Oh Spike!” she whispered longingly, covering his face with kisses.

The look of shock at the fact that he was holding her in his arms, slowly was overtaken by a look of pure love. He returned her kisses with fervour. His hands, now able to touch her, slid up and down her arms, trying to register the reality of it all.

“Spike, you have to...” gasped Buffy between kisses.

“What’s that love?”

“Bite me Spike, Fred said....”

Spike smiled and began kissing down her neck, stopping once he reached her pulsating jugular. Giving her neck a long languorous lick, he moved a little further down her neck, conscious of the fact that where he bit, could possibly kill her.


“So bloody beautiful...” he whispered, breathing cool air on her neck, sending a cool shiver along her spine.

Buffy wove her fingers through his hair, pressing him closer to her neck.

“Please Spike, I need you with me.”

Shifting his face, letting his fangs descend, Spike slid his sharp canines into her neck.

Buffy gasped, not with pain, but pleasure as she felt Spike’s teeth slip into her skin. It felt good. It felt like it was the one thing she was missing.

Licking her new wound clean, Spike trailed his tongue down her neck to her other wound, closing on it’s own. He licked the red welted line along the top of her left breast slowly, then carefully, making sure not to aggravate either wound, he removed the chain from around her neck. Spike shifted back into human guise. Kissing down her torso, further down her stomach, giving her navel a bit of attention. Kneeling before her, Spike hooked his fingers into the elastic band of her panties and pulled the garment off.

“Oh Buffy,” he whispered, “I wanna taste you love.”

She nodded her assent, and allowed him to guide her to the edge of the bed, lying down, her legs hanging over the side. Spike pushed her legs gently apart, and began the delightful pursuit of her clit. After a long lick from bottom to top, Spike’s tongue set about making Buffy feel just how glad he was to be back in his own body and that he had the ability to touch. And oh how he was going to touch. Sucking her clit into his mouth, then nibbling gently with blunt teeth, Spike brought her over the edge, sending a shriek throughout the room.

With a smirk and a definite leer at the nude woman before him on the bed, Spike began the removal of his clothing. He was suffering from the hardness in his pants, the zipper biting in to him. After removing his Duster, boots, pants and tee, Spike crawled the length of the bed, panther style to his prey, his slayer, who had settled herself nearer to the head of the bed.

“You ready for me Slayer?”

Buffy giggled. Spike covered her mouth with his own, sucking her tongue into his mouth, while little Slayer hands strove to touch every part of him. All at once Buffy wrapped her legs about him and drew him in.

“I’m ready for you. I love you,” she said staring into his eyes.

The earnest look in her eyes confirmed her words, and Spike positioned his hard cock at her entrance, dripping in anticipation.

“Please Spike,” she whimpered.

Ever so slowly, as if he were savouring the moment, Spike slid in, and started thrusting to a slow and steady rhythm.

She was so hot, so tight, he had no worries that anyone had been where he was now, while he had been gone. But that didn’t really matter. She was his, with his mark on her, beneath him, writhing on the bed, calling his name. Not the poofter’s or Captain Cardboard’s, His name.

The Slayer, was glorious before him, little moans coming from her beautiful mouth, which he just had to kiss. Leaning down he covered her lips with his own, pulling away only when he realised that she still needed air.

Buffy held tighter with her legs around his middle, pushing him deeper still. He was back, and he was her’s. It was like a horrible nightmare, that he had been gone. And now, she had woken up, and she was never letting him go.

“Make me yours Spike, please...” she whispered, her climax nearing.

He didn’t even question her decision. She was the slayer, she must know what she wanted. Spike leaned down again, and gave his marks a kiss, his thrusts into her hot core intensifying in speed and force.

Spike shifted back into his bumpies, biting down onto the marks he had made not too long ago.

“Mine,” he declared forcefully.

“Yours,” she agreed with a whimper, that turned into a shriek as she came.

Spike was nearing his peak too, Spike was caught unawares when Buffy bit him back, hard enough to draw blood.

“Mine,” she said weakly, but meaning it with all her heart.

“Yours,” he confirmed with a roar.
__________________________________________

When Buffy awoke the next morning she had thought it all a dream, but was happy to find herself being snuggled by her very own bleach blonde vampire, happily nuzzling her neck, which confirmed that it was not a dream but a happy reality.

“Morning,” he purred.

Buffy rolled so she was facing him. “Morning to you too, however did I get a naked vampire in my bed. I must not be a very good slayer if I have a naked vampire in my bed.”

“Oh I think you slayed me well enough last night.”

Buffy smiled. “I knew I’d get you in the end.”

“That you did love, that you did.”

Stretching her arms out above her head, Buffy groaned. “I have to get up, pick up Xander and find Andrew, then catch a plane to go home.”

Spike frowned.

“I think you’d like where I live, Spike. It used to be your home too.”

“What London?”

“Not just London, but Kensington to be precise. I bought your old house, or rather, William Algernon Brigsby’s house.”

Spike stared back at her in shock. She had found out his name, she had found out where he lived

“You bought it?”

“Ya, with all the pretty ‘notes’ the bank of England prints, that the watcher’s council gave me for saving the world. You should come, it is your house too. I mean I want it to be your house too, again. And you won’t be sleeping in the basement.”

“When I lived there pet, the basement wasn’t anywhere anyone would have wanted to sleep.”

“You’ll come?” she asked hopefully.

“Will I have naked slayer in my bed?”

“You will have naked slayer in your bed.”
__________________________________________
Buffy walked into the ELF building like she owned the world. She was a woman on a mission: find Andrew, pick up Xander, thank Angel, say goodbye to Fred and Wesley. She had left the now flammable Spike in the hotel room, pretty darn sure that if Angel even saw Spike today her happy reunion would turn tragic.

Andrew was in the mail room, hanging with his new buddy Carlos. With a flick of her wrist, she sent Andrew scrambling to gather his things.

Xander was ready to be checked out of the medical ward. Chomping at the bit was more like, couldn’t wait to get out of there.

“Ahh, hours of waiting and sitting await me at the airport,” gushed the newly eyed Xander. “And I’ll be passing the time with my TWO eyes, checking out the ladies.”

“Yes, Xander cause women in airports really feel like being picked up,” noted Buffy.

“They will when they see the new and improved Xan man. Pirate jokes are a thing of the past.”

“I’m glad you like your new eye, Xander,” Buffy said with a smile. She couldn’t wait for Xander’s newly acquired eye to pop out of his head when she told him that she and Spike were back together.
__________________________________________
Buffy walked into Angel’s office, completely ignoring Harmony’s shouts of ‘You can’t go in there!’

Angel was sitting behind his desk, his hair freshly brown, and much much shorter than she had ever seen it. But he was wearing glasses, and was writing in cursive handwriting on a steno pad. It looked like verse.

“Had to cut the dreads out?” she asked, still trying to decipher the writing.

“Ya.”

“Nipple ring gone?”

Angel nodded.

“Good. I want to thank you for Xander’s eye. He’s really happy. I’m sure you’ll get a Spiderman thank you card in the mail from him at some point.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Why are you wearing glasses?” she asked. “And are you writing poetry?” she said critically.

“I...I..” stuttered Angel mechanically. It was as if he was putting on a show.

“Are you trying to make fun of Spike? It’s not funny you know,” she said.

“And what he did to me, that was funny?”

“You’ll get over it. I’m taking Spike with me.”

Angel stood up from his desk. “I can smell him all over you...”

“I’m his, Angel, have been for a long time. There’s no need for you to be jealous.”

“It’s not just jealousy Buffy! What he did to me...”

“Will leave no lasting mark Angel. Just like all the things you’ve done to him over the hundred and fifty or so years he’s been around.”

“Buffy...”

“No, I know, you’re going to say you didn’t have a soul then, and Spike has a soul now, believe me Angel it could have been much, much worse what he did to you. You’re a big vampire, suck it up.” And with that, Buffy turned and walked out of the office.
__________________________________________
The end


Challenge Criteria:

In Angel, Season 5 - instead of Spike becoming corporeal via the little "flash-in-the-box," let's try something a bit different.
Must haves:
-Corporeal Angel and non-corporeal Spike switch bodies (you decide how/why).
-Buffy escorts Xander to L.A. for an eye transplant, courtesy of WR&H.
-Spike doing various humiliating things to Angel's body (ex: bad wardrobe, home perm, etc).
-Spike and Angel return to their own bodies, respectively.
-Spike becoming corporeal.
-Spuffy bitey goodness, of course.
-HUMOR. I want to be wiping tears of laughter from my eyes!
Can haves:
-Andrew - because he's funny.
-For whatever reason, we can't hear ghost-Angel.
-Nina
-Dawn, provided she's not annoying.