A/N: The title really has nothing to do with the material. Wulfie made me do it! *points at redwulf50* I was suffering from industrial strength bitchery and demanded he make me feel better. *grins at the master of challenges*. He told me to take out my rage on a certain broody vamp instead of my furniture. Even handed me a shiny title and left the rest up to me. Teehee....

No mason jars were harmed during the making of this drabble.

Disclaimer: No matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, sadly, I do not own them. They all belong to Joss and ME.





Death from Beneath You





Unlife absolutely, positively SUCKED! Here he sat, a 250-plus year old Master Vampire of the line of Aurelius- the most feared and revered vampire Clan in history- being forced to watch as everything he had desired and worked so hard to achieve was ripped from his grasp.



It was his worst nightmare! Angel cringed inwardly at the moans coming from the lust-driven group before him as he remained strapped to the hard metal gurney which had been tilted on its end to lean against the hard cement wall. They'd used high powered drugs, the kind that could drop an entire herd of stampeding elephants in seconds, to subdue him. Once he was out for the count, the soulless demons had stripped Angel of his expensive custom tailored suit and strapped him down, spread-eagle to the wheeled metal slab.



Without so much as a thought or a pause at the Powers' souled Champion's less than manly scream of terror, the scalpel had been applied and Angel's manly bits had been removed. Agonized, Angel looked away from the disgusting tableau before him as he cast a forlorn eye to the various jars arranged atop the wheeled cart parked just out of reach. The scent of vinegar rivaled the raw scents of sex and blood, making the once dark-haired vampire silently beg for a quick death.



Still, he could not tear his gaze from those jars and their contents. His rather modestly sized penis floated in a short, round jar filled to the brim with clear, apple cider vinegar. In another jar, his small, walnut-sized testicles occasionally bumped against each other as they, too, floated in their very own glass container of the sweet smelling fluid. And in yet another jar, his tongue rested in its new home. Dru had begged the newly turned and soulless former Slayer for her 'daddy's lying tongue' and Buffy had grinned evilly before bestowing a hungry kiss upon the insane vampiress' luscious mouth.



"Anything for our darling Dru," Spike rasped huskily as he slid a pale, muscular arm around the slender waist of each of his girls. In return, each girl nuzzled the sides of his neck, purring and nipping with their elongated canines.



As one, the trio of fanged evil turned their blazing amber eyes to the helpless waste of immortal flesh whimpering and bleeding all over the factory's dirty cement floor. The former slayer's gaze narrowed as she peered at her handiwork, her shiny pink tongue coming out to stroke across her bottom lip where it lapped a few stray droplets of Dru's blood leftover from their brutal kiss. "Perhaps Grandmummy would like the honor," she purred as she handed Drusilla the blood-stained implement she'd used on Angel's lower anatomy. "Only fair. I got the nasty bits," she told her Sire and Grandsire. "Spike shaved his head. I think Dru she should get his tongue."



Drusilla laughed and clapped excitedly, bouncing on her toes as she accepted the blade and set to her work. Mercifully, Angel had passed out before she finished the gruesome task.



When next Angel had awoken, his chest was coated in blood, his tongue sealed in a mason jar several feet away, and the three soulless vampires were clawing and tearing at each other as they mindlessly fucked on the dirty floor at his feet.



Unlife absolutely SUCKED!