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Prologue
Prologue
Author's note: I'm back!! God, it felt like forever. Worringly, my muse also went on hiatus along with my internet access, but I looked to the challenges for inspiration. I would like to thank Lynn for her awesome idea - I had much fun taking it and running with it. I hope you (and she) enjoy. Challenge requirements will be at the end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She had never seen rain like this, not in Sunnydale. It was never-ending, pounding down on the house and the street, creating deep puddles in the road. Lightning lit up the dark sky and a moment later, thunder roared, vibrating through the sky. And it was only five in the afternoon. It showed no signs of stopping any time soon and with a sigh, Buffy turned away from the window and back to the group gathered in her living room.
“Is there such a thing as demon rain?” she asked with a wry smile.
“In good old Sunnydale, anything’s possible,” Xander commented.
She pouted and sank her chin on her hand, watching the ongoing game of Monopoly. Anya was enjoying the game more than any of the others – but that was probably because she was winning. She had a tidy pile of notes, ordered sequentially, which she kept one hand close to at all times. Buffy smiled slightly and her gaze drifted over the two witches and to her sister.
Dawn was glowing with all the attention and she felt a pang of guilt, knowing she hadn’t exactly been spending that much time with her sister since her return from Heaven. And that’s how this whole thing had come about: she had organised a day of fun with her friends and Dawn but the rain had forced them inside and it didn’t look like they were going anywhere soon. She sighed and her eyes drifted to the window again, following the snaking patterns of water on the glass.
Suddenly, she heard a crash in the kitchen and she sat up quickly, all senses alert. She threw a reassuring look at her friends and rose to her feet, making her way swiftly but silently through to the kitchen. With her back to the wall, she peeked into the kitchen – and relaxed as she recognised the soaked figure standing by the door. Spike.
She took a step into the room and crossed her arms, waiting for him to stop fussing over his wet clothes and hair and notice her. He did a moment later and spun round to face her, giving her a soft, shy smile.
“Buffy.”
“Wet out?” she asked with a teasing smile and he raised an eyebrow in surprise – probably at her friendliness. It was still something new for them, but something she was quickly growing used to.
“Just a bit,” he murmured, glancing down at his wet clothes.
Her eyes followed his and she felt the start of a blush creeping up her cheeks as she took in the way the water moulded his already tight T-shirt to his chest, accentuating every muscle.
“How’s the Li’l Bit?”
She snapped her head up and was sure she saw something in his eyes but it quickly passed and she smiled.
“Good. This was a plan of much success.”
“What can I say?” he said smugly, “Brains and beauty.”
She rolled her eyes and smiled softly. He smiled back but then his expression turned serious.
“And you? How are you?”
She paused for a moment, considering the answer, before she smiled wryly.
“Bordering on chipper. Yeah, I’m… I’m okay.”
“That’s good to hear,” he murmured quietly with a tiny smile and she nodded.
“Buffy, what is- Oh, hi, Spike!”
They both turned as her sister came into the room, greeting the vampire enthusiastically, her smile bigger than it had been in a long time.
“Alright, Bit. You been behaving?” he asked with a grin.
“Yes,” Dawn replied pointedly.
He smiled wider and Buffy found herself smiling too.
“Good.”
“Or what? You’ll growl at me?” Dawn got out and Buffy laughed, taking her sister’s arm.
“Okay, you. Enough insulting the vampire,” she said, smiling widely as Spike narrowed his eyes at them, “What do you want to eat?”
“Err, Buffy?!” Xander called from the living room, “You might want to come see this.”
She looked between her two companions worriedly and then rushed into the living room with them both on her heels. The whole group was gathered at the window, looking out into the already dark sky.
“What is it?” she asked, hurrying to the window and looking out.
She gasped when she caught sight of the water rising second by second and engulfing her lawn. Dawn joined her and gasped too.
“Oh my God! The whole street’s flooded.”
“I was just looking out five minutes ago. How did it rise so quickly?” Buffy got out.
“Drains must be blocked,” Spike commented from close behind her, “Or can’t deal with all the rain. Californian building for you.”
She couldn’t take her eyes off the water that covered the whole street, stretching from the middle of her lawn right to the other side and lending an eerie floating-like quality to the houses either side.
“It’s just as bad out the back,” Willow exclaimed and Buffy turned to see her and Tara just returning from the kitchen.
“This has to be demon rain,” Buffy said certainly.
“Demon rain?” Spike echoed, laughing.
“It could be!” she protested and he just laughed again.
“There’s no such thing as demon rain. This is one hundred percent natural.”
She turned back to the window and looked out upon the river that Revello Drive had become. It really didn’t look like they were going anywhere soon.
And sure enough, the rain never ceased – although the water did, only inches from spilling over the porch and into the house. When night fell, it became clear that they were trapped in the house until the water subsided, whenever that might be. She was just glad she had gone grocery shopping the day before. Although, with several extra mouths to feed, it wasn’t going to be long before their supplies ran out. She just hoped the water went down before then.
She started to make arrangements for the evening, assigning sleeping materials and spaces to all those gathered. After surrendering her bed to Xander and Anya that left her, Dawn and Spike sleeping downstairs because Dawn had stupidly left her window open and her room – and most importantly her bed – was soaked. Dawn loved the idea and was soon curled up on the couch – after several arguments between the sisters – and smiling down at them.
“Comfortable?” she asked with a wide smile and Buffy glared at her sister from her position on the floor. She refused to answer and wriggled as she tried to make herself more comfortable on the hard floor in the thin sleeping bag. She glanced to her right and found Spike looking more than comfortable in his own sleeping bag, head resting on his coat, eyes closed lazily. She frowned at him and lay back on the lumpy cushion Dawn had deigned to give her. This was going to be a long night. Just before she went to sleep, she sent out a silent prayer that the water would be gone by the morning and she would be back in her own bed.
Author's note: I'm back!! God, it felt like forever. Worringly, my muse also went on hiatus along with my internet access, but I looked to the challenges for inspiration. I would like to thank Lynn for her awesome idea - I had much fun taking it and running with it. I hope you (and she) enjoy. Challenge requirements will be at the end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She had never seen rain like this, not in Sunnydale. It was never-ending, pounding down on the house and the street, creating deep puddles in the road. Lightning lit up the dark sky and a moment later, thunder roared, vibrating through the sky. And it was only five in the afternoon. It showed no signs of stopping any time soon and with a sigh, Buffy turned away from the window and back to the group gathered in her living room.
“Is there such a thing as demon rain?” she asked with a wry smile.
“In good old Sunnydale, anything’s possible,” Xander commented.
She pouted and sank her chin on her hand, watching the ongoing game of Monopoly. Anya was enjoying the game more than any of the others – but that was probably because she was winning. She had a tidy pile of notes, ordered sequentially, which she kept one hand close to at all times. Buffy smiled slightly and her gaze drifted over the two witches and to her sister.
Dawn was glowing with all the attention and she felt a pang of guilt, knowing she hadn’t exactly been spending that much time with her sister since her return from Heaven. And that’s how this whole thing had come about: she had organised a day of fun with her friends and Dawn but the rain had forced them inside and it didn’t look like they were going anywhere soon. She sighed and her eyes drifted to the window again, following the snaking patterns of water on the glass.
Suddenly, she heard a crash in the kitchen and she sat up quickly, all senses alert. She threw a reassuring look at her friends and rose to her feet, making her way swiftly but silently through to the kitchen. With her back to the wall, she peeked into the kitchen – and relaxed as she recognised the soaked figure standing by the door. Spike.
She took a step into the room and crossed her arms, waiting for him to stop fussing over his wet clothes and hair and notice her. He did a moment later and spun round to face her, giving her a soft, shy smile.
“Buffy.”
“Wet out?” she asked with a teasing smile and he raised an eyebrow in surprise – probably at her friendliness. It was still something new for them, but something she was quickly growing used to.
“Just a bit,” he murmured, glancing down at his wet clothes.
Her eyes followed his and she felt the start of a blush creeping up her cheeks as she took in the way the water moulded his already tight T-shirt to his chest, accentuating every muscle.
“How’s the Li’l Bit?”
She snapped her head up and was sure she saw something in his eyes but it quickly passed and she smiled.
“Good. This was a plan of much success.”
“What can I say?” he said smugly, “Brains and beauty.”
She rolled her eyes and smiled softly. He smiled back but then his expression turned serious.
“And you? How are you?”
She paused for a moment, considering the answer, before she smiled wryly.
“Bordering on chipper. Yeah, I’m… I’m okay.”
“That’s good to hear,” he murmured quietly with a tiny smile and she nodded.
“Buffy, what is- Oh, hi, Spike!”
They both turned as her sister came into the room, greeting the vampire enthusiastically, her smile bigger than it had been in a long time.
“Alright, Bit. You been behaving?” he asked with a grin.
“Yes,” Dawn replied pointedly.
He smiled wider and Buffy found herself smiling too.
“Good.”
“Or what? You’ll growl at me?” Dawn got out and Buffy laughed, taking her sister’s arm.
“Okay, you. Enough insulting the vampire,” she said, smiling widely as Spike narrowed his eyes at them, “What do you want to eat?”
“Err, Buffy?!” Xander called from the living room, “You might want to come see this.”
She looked between her two companions worriedly and then rushed into the living room with them both on her heels. The whole group was gathered at the window, looking out into the already dark sky.
“What is it?” she asked, hurrying to the window and looking out.
She gasped when she caught sight of the water rising second by second and engulfing her lawn. Dawn joined her and gasped too.
“Oh my God! The whole street’s flooded.”
“I was just looking out five minutes ago. How did it rise so quickly?” Buffy got out.
“Drains must be blocked,” Spike commented from close behind her, “Or can’t deal with all the rain. Californian building for you.”
She couldn’t take her eyes off the water that covered the whole street, stretching from the middle of her lawn right to the other side and lending an eerie floating-like quality to the houses either side.
“It’s just as bad out the back,” Willow exclaimed and Buffy turned to see her and Tara just returning from the kitchen.
“This has to be demon rain,” Buffy said certainly.
“Demon rain?” Spike echoed, laughing.
“It could be!” she protested and he just laughed again.
“There’s no such thing as demon rain. This is one hundred percent natural.”
She turned back to the window and looked out upon the river that Revello Drive had become. It really didn’t look like they were going anywhere soon.
And sure enough, the rain never ceased – although the water did, only inches from spilling over the porch and into the house. When night fell, it became clear that they were trapped in the house until the water subsided, whenever that might be. She was just glad she had gone grocery shopping the day before. Although, with several extra mouths to feed, it wasn’t going to be long before their supplies ran out. She just hoped the water went down before then.
She started to make arrangements for the evening, assigning sleeping materials and spaces to all those gathered. After surrendering her bed to Xander and Anya that left her, Dawn and Spike sleeping downstairs because Dawn had stupidly left her window open and her room – and most importantly her bed – was soaked. Dawn loved the idea and was soon curled up on the couch – after several arguments between the sisters – and smiling down at them.
“Comfortable?” she asked with a wide smile and Buffy glared at her sister from her position on the floor. She refused to answer and wriggled as she tried to make herself more comfortable on the hard floor in the thin sleeping bag. She glanced to her right and found Spike looking more than comfortable in his own sleeping bag, head resting on his coat, eyes closed lazily. She frowned at him and lay back on the lumpy cushion Dawn had deigned to give her. This was going to be a long night. Just before she went to sleep, she sent out a silent prayer that the water would be gone by the morning and she would be back in her own bed.
Day One (Part One)
Day One (Part One)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She woke early, long before sunrise, and wriggled out of her sleeping bag. She quickly noticed the empty space beside her where Spike had slept but shrugged and got to her feet, stretching and making her way eagerly to the small window in the door. Her shoulders sagged when she saw the water still at the same level as the night before.
“Hasn’t gone down.”
She jumped at Spike’s voice and turned round, giving him a pointed look and moving past him into the kitchen, hyper-aware of the fact that she was in her pyjamas. She felt him join her a moment later as she stared out of the back door and onto the small lake that had once been her lawn.
“Stupid rain,” she mumbled.
She heard Spike chuckle and turned to face him, arms crossed self-consciously over her chest. It didn’t help that he was looking all tousled and sleepy and entirely sinful. Not that she thought about Spike that way. She shook that thought away quickly and moved to sit on a stool next to him with a sigh.
“I was really hoping to get out of the house today.”
“Just gonna have to sit and wait it out.”
“That’s what I was worried about,” she commented with a wry smile, “Buffy and sitting still don’t mix.”
He smiled affectionately and she felt a warmth spread through her, making her uncomfortable.
“Try not to explode, eh, Slayer?” he teased and she rolled her eyes, dropping her gaze to the counter.
They sat in companionable silence for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts as the sun began to rise over a flooded Sunnydale. As she had told Spike though, sitting still was not one of her greatest talents and soon, she was up on her feet, examining the contents of the kitchen cupboards.
“I have no idea how I’m going to feed everyone,” she sighed, “That water better go down soon.”
“Gonna slay it if it doesn’t?”
She turned and scowled at the smiling vampire before turning back to the cupboards.
“Should have got more food yesterday,” she mumbled half to herself, “Except for the whole lack of fundage issue.”
“Problems?” Spike asked softly and with a sigh, she turned to face him, leaning back against the worktop.
“Of the major financial variety.”
“Still not found a solution?” he asked, eyes watching her in concern.
She shrugged and gave another sigh, forcing a laugh.
“I’m sure it’ll work out… It has to… Right?”
She raised worried eyes to the vampire, seeking reassurance. He slid from his stool and came round the counter to stand opposite her, blue eyes shining with worry and sympathy. She saw him raise a hand – seemingly to reach out for her – but he drew it back a moment later and she wished he hadn’t.
“It’ll work out,” he said quietly, firmly, holding her gaze, “Promise.”
He gave her a tiny smile and she returned her own, nodding.
“I really hope so.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It wasn’t long before the house started to feel crowded with all the extra occupants – especially when it came to using the bathroom - and she was quickly coming to the end of her tether. As she heard an argument erupt between Willow and Anya over who should get to shower first, she decided to escape to the relative safety of her basement – which sadly, having only just recovered from the one flooding, was now filled with water once more. Floodwater had poured through the ground level window and filled the room, soaking what had only just begun to dry. It was yet another catastrophe to add to the growing list.
With a sigh, she sank down onto the top step and buried her head in her hands, the sounds of the argument dying down but the silence soon filled with the sound of voices and then, the sound of the television. It was nice to know her friends were making themselves at home.
She hadn’t been sitting there for more than five minutes when she heard movement in the kitchen and a moment later, the basement door opened. Instead of speaking though, her new companion shut the door quietly and moved down, dropping to the step beside her. She turned her head and gave the vampire a wry smile as he watched her with concerned eyes.
“You alright?” he murmured.
“Teetering on the edge of madness… but yeah.”
He smiled and she turned back to stare at the flooded room below.
“Thought you got this fixed,” Spike spoke up a moment later.
“I did,” she sighed, sending a weary smile his way.
“Oh.”
They fell silent and she took a deep, relaxing breath, closing her eyes and letting the wave of calm wash over her. She didn’t know what it was about Spike that made her feel so calm, so quiet when at any other time she felt constantly tormented, surrounded, suffocated. He had changed though – everything about him seemed to have changed – and his mere presence no longer raised her hackles as it had been prone to do before. Now she found herself at her most relaxed when she was sitting by his side in silence.
The thought brought amusement and some surprise and she glanced at the vampire out of the corner of her eye, suppressing a smile. He would certainly be insulted by the idea – or at least pretend to be. His gaze moved to hers before she could look away and he tilted his head, one eyebrow rising in question.
“Nothing,” she whispered, turning away again.
He was softer, gentler, than he had ever been before and it made her wonder just how much she knew about this vampire, this man. She had fought him, fought by his side – but did she really know him? She knew of his legendary vampiric status, knew of his exploits, his brutality… But the man that sat beside her now seemed so removed from that once dangerous William the Bloody. Not least because he was now an ally, a friend even.
And he loved her. Or at least, he had. Before. Now, she was uncertain, although she still saw the same emotions in his eyes that had been there before. She sneaked a glance at him, studying the side of his face, searching for clues.
“You’re gonna make me blush if you keep staring at me.”
She jumped guiltily and turned away, only to turn back a moment later to meet his gaze.
“I wasn’t staring.”
He raised an eyebrow but said nothing in reply, clasping his hands together as he stared out at the room, seemingly content to sit in silence. She watched him surreptitiously, taking in every line of a face that was as familiar to her as any of her friends’, wondering just what secrets hid behind his Big Bad façade.
She took in the curve of his back and trailed her gaze down black leather to his hands, still clasped in one another. She saw them twitching and a second later, her attention was drawn to his shaking leg. Now she had noticed it, she saw all of the tiny outlets of nervous energy and she smiled somewhat affectionately. Why had she never noticed any of these before? But then, he was usually smoking all of the time and she guessed that gave him something to occupy himself with.
In a moment of realisation, she laughed, drawing his gaze to her, but not halting his twitching.
“Nicotine withdrawal symptoms?” she asked with a pointed look at his leg and he stopped immediately.
“Partially. Also not one for being cooped up.”
“I’m totally with you there.”
“Really?” he murmured silkily, eyes narrowing to dark slits that made a tremor run through her, “Lucky me.”
The sudden tension between them and the look he was giving her quickly spurred her into motion and she jumped to her feet.
“I guess I should get back in there. Stop any trouble and, yeah…”
He smiled and stood up beside her, the narrow nature of the steps making them closer than she had realised. He leant over her and took the doorknob, pushing the door open with a little bow.
“Milady.”
She hurried out into the kitchen, scuttling past him and cursing her racing heart.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By midday, she was sure she was going to go insane and after preparing lunch for the gang, she escaped to the basement once again. This time, she wasn’t the first though and she dropped to Spike’s side with a sigh and a smile.
“Everything alright?” he asked, turning to her.
“You know that thing I said about this being hell…”
She saw the pain flash through his expression and instantly regretted her flippant words. Reaching out, she placed a gentle hand on his arm.
“I’m sorry.”
Surprised eyes flew first to her hand and then to hers and then his expression quickly turned serious.
“You don’t have to apologise to me,” he said lowly, “Not after… what you’ve been through. Never have to apologise to me, Buffy.”
His hand came to cover hers hesitantly and she squeezed his arm gratefully, watching him with teary eyes.
“Can I at least apologise for being a bitch to you all those years?” she asked with a tiny smile.
“No,” he answered with a smile of his own, “Find I was quite fond of the bitch anyway.”
“You always did have dubious taste in women,” she whispered, giving him a shaky teasing smile and he laughed, squeezing her hand in his and then releasing it a moment later with a shy look.
They were silent for a few minutes and she kept her hand on his arm, the simple contact reassuring her in ways she was sure it shouldn’t.
“You haven’t told them then?”
She turned to face him and shook her head sadly.
“I can’t.”
He went to protest but she held up a hand, forestalling him.
“It would kill them… knowing the truth.”
“I know,” he got out painfully, eyes averted from her.
She sighed and withdrew her hand, sinking her head against her hand.
“I should never have told you. I’m sorry.”
“Told you about apologising, didn’t I?” he got out, laying a hand on her shoulder and drawing her attention back to him, blue eyes fixed on hers, “You needed to tell someone… share the burden and all that… And I’m… M’bloody honoured it was me.”
She watched him for long seconds, taking in the burning intensity in his gaze, and felt something spin and turn upside down inside her. She shook it away and forced her eyes to stay on his.
“You didn’t bring me back,” she said simply.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Would you have stopped them?” she whispered, “If you’d known?”
“I… I don’t know,” he murmured.
They fell silent once more and she took a deep, calming breath, forcing away unwanted emotion. She took another deep breath and spoke up, her eyes fixed on the wall.
“Did you think I was in Hell?”
He didn’t answer for a long time but she dared not look at him, still treading a thin line between calm and breakdown and fighting to hold back all the anger and grief she felt.
“No,” he finally said, “How could I? Warrior of the people… died to save the world… how could you be sent…”
He trailed off but his meaning was clear: he had never even contemplated the idea that she might be anywhere but Heaven. She found herself fighting her emotions even harder after his hesitant words and she took several deep breaths to do so. She reached out one shaking hand though and found his, twining her fingers in his, telling him with her touch what she could not with words.
She felt his surprise at first but then he squeezed her hand back tightly, placing his other hand over hers and enveloping her in his cool touch. She bowed her head, shoulders shaking as she struggled not to let the emotions she had been holding back overflow.
“Buffy?”
“I’m… I’m okay,” she choked out, still unable to look at him but calming down slowly.
When she had forced the emotions down – for now – she turned to him and forced a weak smile, her fingers twitching against his.
“Thank you,” she whispered with a watery smile.
She saw him swallow hard and he reached out his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She leant into his touch, enjoying the feel of his soft caress – and not missing the slight widening of his eyes. He stroked his thumb over her cheek and she closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath.
Moments later, the peace was shattered by voices in the kitchen and she jerked away, throwing a look at the door behind them.
“Buffy?” Dawn called out.
She felt all of her energy sapped from her but she forced herself to her feet as Spike gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze. She opened the door and moved out into the kitchen to meet her sister, followed by the vampire. Dawn sent a confused look between them but said nothing and dived into a complaint that the television wasn’t working.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She woke early, long before sunrise, and wriggled out of her sleeping bag. She quickly noticed the empty space beside her where Spike had slept but shrugged and got to her feet, stretching and making her way eagerly to the small window in the door. Her shoulders sagged when she saw the water still at the same level as the night before.
“Hasn’t gone down.”
She jumped at Spike’s voice and turned round, giving him a pointed look and moving past him into the kitchen, hyper-aware of the fact that she was in her pyjamas. She felt him join her a moment later as she stared out of the back door and onto the small lake that had once been her lawn.
“Stupid rain,” she mumbled.
She heard Spike chuckle and turned to face him, arms crossed self-consciously over her chest. It didn’t help that he was looking all tousled and sleepy and entirely sinful. Not that she thought about Spike that way. She shook that thought away quickly and moved to sit on a stool next to him with a sigh.
“I was really hoping to get out of the house today.”
“Just gonna have to sit and wait it out.”
“That’s what I was worried about,” she commented with a wry smile, “Buffy and sitting still don’t mix.”
He smiled affectionately and she felt a warmth spread through her, making her uncomfortable.
“Try not to explode, eh, Slayer?” he teased and she rolled her eyes, dropping her gaze to the counter.
They sat in companionable silence for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts as the sun began to rise over a flooded Sunnydale. As she had told Spike though, sitting still was not one of her greatest talents and soon, she was up on her feet, examining the contents of the kitchen cupboards.
“I have no idea how I’m going to feed everyone,” she sighed, “That water better go down soon.”
“Gonna slay it if it doesn’t?”
She turned and scowled at the smiling vampire before turning back to the cupboards.
“Should have got more food yesterday,” she mumbled half to herself, “Except for the whole lack of fundage issue.”
“Problems?” Spike asked softly and with a sigh, she turned to face him, leaning back against the worktop.
“Of the major financial variety.”
“Still not found a solution?” he asked, eyes watching her in concern.
She shrugged and gave another sigh, forcing a laugh.
“I’m sure it’ll work out… It has to… Right?”
She raised worried eyes to the vampire, seeking reassurance. He slid from his stool and came round the counter to stand opposite her, blue eyes shining with worry and sympathy. She saw him raise a hand – seemingly to reach out for her – but he drew it back a moment later and she wished he hadn’t.
“It’ll work out,” he said quietly, firmly, holding her gaze, “Promise.”
He gave her a tiny smile and she returned her own, nodding.
“I really hope so.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It wasn’t long before the house started to feel crowded with all the extra occupants – especially when it came to using the bathroom - and she was quickly coming to the end of her tether. As she heard an argument erupt between Willow and Anya over who should get to shower first, she decided to escape to the relative safety of her basement – which sadly, having only just recovered from the one flooding, was now filled with water once more. Floodwater had poured through the ground level window and filled the room, soaking what had only just begun to dry. It was yet another catastrophe to add to the growing list.
With a sigh, she sank down onto the top step and buried her head in her hands, the sounds of the argument dying down but the silence soon filled with the sound of voices and then, the sound of the television. It was nice to know her friends were making themselves at home.
She hadn’t been sitting there for more than five minutes when she heard movement in the kitchen and a moment later, the basement door opened. Instead of speaking though, her new companion shut the door quietly and moved down, dropping to the step beside her. She turned her head and gave the vampire a wry smile as he watched her with concerned eyes.
“You alright?” he murmured.
“Teetering on the edge of madness… but yeah.”
He smiled and she turned back to stare at the flooded room below.
“Thought you got this fixed,” Spike spoke up a moment later.
“I did,” she sighed, sending a weary smile his way.
“Oh.”
They fell silent and she took a deep, relaxing breath, closing her eyes and letting the wave of calm wash over her. She didn’t know what it was about Spike that made her feel so calm, so quiet when at any other time she felt constantly tormented, surrounded, suffocated. He had changed though – everything about him seemed to have changed – and his mere presence no longer raised her hackles as it had been prone to do before. Now she found herself at her most relaxed when she was sitting by his side in silence.
The thought brought amusement and some surprise and she glanced at the vampire out of the corner of her eye, suppressing a smile. He would certainly be insulted by the idea – or at least pretend to be. His gaze moved to hers before she could look away and he tilted his head, one eyebrow rising in question.
“Nothing,” she whispered, turning away again.
He was softer, gentler, than he had ever been before and it made her wonder just how much she knew about this vampire, this man. She had fought him, fought by his side – but did she really know him? She knew of his legendary vampiric status, knew of his exploits, his brutality… But the man that sat beside her now seemed so removed from that once dangerous William the Bloody. Not least because he was now an ally, a friend even.
And he loved her. Or at least, he had. Before. Now, she was uncertain, although she still saw the same emotions in his eyes that had been there before. She sneaked a glance at him, studying the side of his face, searching for clues.
“You’re gonna make me blush if you keep staring at me.”
She jumped guiltily and turned away, only to turn back a moment later to meet his gaze.
“I wasn’t staring.”
He raised an eyebrow but said nothing in reply, clasping his hands together as he stared out at the room, seemingly content to sit in silence. She watched him surreptitiously, taking in every line of a face that was as familiar to her as any of her friends’, wondering just what secrets hid behind his Big Bad façade.
She took in the curve of his back and trailed her gaze down black leather to his hands, still clasped in one another. She saw them twitching and a second later, her attention was drawn to his shaking leg. Now she had noticed it, she saw all of the tiny outlets of nervous energy and she smiled somewhat affectionately. Why had she never noticed any of these before? But then, he was usually smoking all of the time and she guessed that gave him something to occupy himself with.
In a moment of realisation, she laughed, drawing his gaze to her, but not halting his twitching.
“Nicotine withdrawal symptoms?” she asked with a pointed look at his leg and he stopped immediately.
“Partially. Also not one for being cooped up.”
“I’m totally with you there.”
“Really?” he murmured silkily, eyes narrowing to dark slits that made a tremor run through her, “Lucky me.”
The sudden tension between them and the look he was giving her quickly spurred her into motion and she jumped to her feet.
“I guess I should get back in there. Stop any trouble and, yeah…”
He smiled and stood up beside her, the narrow nature of the steps making them closer than she had realised. He leant over her and took the doorknob, pushing the door open with a little bow.
“Milady.”
She hurried out into the kitchen, scuttling past him and cursing her racing heart.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By midday, she was sure she was going to go insane and after preparing lunch for the gang, she escaped to the basement once again. This time, she wasn’t the first though and she dropped to Spike’s side with a sigh and a smile.
“Everything alright?” he asked, turning to her.
“You know that thing I said about this being hell…”
She saw the pain flash through his expression and instantly regretted her flippant words. Reaching out, she placed a gentle hand on his arm.
“I’m sorry.”
Surprised eyes flew first to her hand and then to hers and then his expression quickly turned serious.
“You don’t have to apologise to me,” he said lowly, “Not after… what you’ve been through. Never have to apologise to me, Buffy.”
His hand came to cover hers hesitantly and she squeezed his arm gratefully, watching him with teary eyes.
“Can I at least apologise for being a bitch to you all those years?” she asked with a tiny smile.
“No,” he answered with a smile of his own, “Find I was quite fond of the bitch anyway.”
“You always did have dubious taste in women,” she whispered, giving him a shaky teasing smile and he laughed, squeezing her hand in his and then releasing it a moment later with a shy look.
They were silent for a few minutes and she kept her hand on his arm, the simple contact reassuring her in ways she was sure it shouldn’t.
“You haven’t told them then?”
She turned to face him and shook her head sadly.
“I can’t.”
He went to protest but she held up a hand, forestalling him.
“It would kill them… knowing the truth.”
“I know,” he got out painfully, eyes averted from her.
She sighed and withdrew her hand, sinking her head against her hand.
“I should never have told you. I’m sorry.”
“Told you about apologising, didn’t I?” he got out, laying a hand on her shoulder and drawing her attention back to him, blue eyes fixed on hers, “You needed to tell someone… share the burden and all that… And I’m… M’bloody honoured it was me.”
She watched him for long seconds, taking in the burning intensity in his gaze, and felt something spin and turn upside down inside her. She shook it away and forced her eyes to stay on his.
“You didn’t bring me back,” she said simply.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Would you have stopped them?” she whispered, “If you’d known?”
“I… I don’t know,” he murmured.
They fell silent once more and she took a deep, calming breath, forcing away unwanted emotion. She took another deep breath and spoke up, her eyes fixed on the wall.
“Did you think I was in Hell?”
He didn’t answer for a long time but she dared not look at him, still treading a thin line between calm and breakdown and fighting to hold back all the anger and grief she felt.
“No,” he finally said, “How could I? Warrior of the people… died to save the world… how could you be sent…”
He trailed off but his meaning was clear: he had never even contemplated the idea that she might be anywhere but Heaven. She found herself fighting her emotions even harder after his hesitant words and she took several deep breaths to do so. She reached out one shaking hand though and found his, twining her fingers in his, telling him with her touch what she could not with words.
She felt his surprise at first but then he squeezed her hand back tightly, placing his other hand over hers and enveloping her in his cool touch. She bowed her head, shoulders shaking as she struggled not to let the emotions she had been holding back overflow.
“Buffy?”
“I’m… I’m okay,” she choked out, still unable to look at him but calming down slowly.
When she had forced the emotions down – for now – she turned to him and forced a weak smile, her fingers twitching against his.
“Thank you,” she whispered with a watery smile.
She saw him swallow hard and he reached out his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She leant into his touch, enjoying the feel of his soft caress – and not missing the slight widening of his eyes. He stroked his thumb over her cheek and she closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath.
Moments later, the peace was shattered by voices in the kitchen and she jerked away, throwing a look at the door behind them.
“Buffy?” Dawn called out.
She felt all of her energy sapped from her but she forced herself to her feet as Spike gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze. She opened the door and moved out into the kitchen to meet her sister, followed by the vampire. Dawn sent a confused look between them but said nothing and dived into a complaint that the television wasn’t working.
Day One (Part Two)
Day One (Part Two)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the afternoon, she was ready to explode at the next person who complained or whined. The electricity had cut out earlier that day and with no television to distract them, tension was quickly reaching breaking point. Several times she had to catch herself from snapping and she was finding it harder and harder to resist. No-one seemed to want to help her with anything and she was almost tempted to leave, flood be damned. Her nerves on edge, she was glad to distract herself with a search for candles ready for when night fell. When Spike silently joined her in the attic, she sent him a strained smile and went back to her search with him at her side.
After a significant pile of candles had been built up, she sat back, dusting her hands down on her jacket and letting out a shaky breath. Spike settled beside her and she ran a hand through her hair, giving him a wry smile.
“I think I might be going mad.”
“A little electricity to the brain is starting to look quite pleasant if it means peace,” he murmured and she laughed lightly, leaning back on her hands.
“I’m sure I should be discouraging you from the slaughter of my friends…”
She smiled widely and he grinned, leaning back beside her, propping himself against a support.
“They don’t play so well together.”
“Not anymore, no.”
“Tensions have been brewing all summer,” he said quietly, giving her a knowing look, and she sat up straighter.
“Really?”
“Power vacuum at the top, wasn’t there? Leader gone… someone has to step up… But not everyone was happy when the Wicca decided she was the boss.”
“Willow has got quite…”
“Overbearing? Power hungry?”
She smiled wryly and leant forward to wrap her arms around her knees.
“Everyone’s changed,” she murmured.
“Not all for the bad though?” he suggested and she flashed him a genuine smile.
“Not all bad, no.”
He smiled softly and a companionable silence settled over them. She rested her head against her knees, closing her eyes and relishing the momentary respite.
“Buffy?”
She jolted awake and after a moment’s disorientation, she sat up quickly.
“What-“
“You drifted off,” Spike explained with an affectionate smile, withdrawing the arm that had been around her.
“I haven’t been sleeping so good,” she admitted after a moment’s pause.
“Bad dreams?”
“Sorta.”
She shrugged and with a sigh, sat up straighter.
“I guess we’d better get back downstairs before they send out a search party.”
Before she could get to her feet though, Spike caught her arm and she turned to him.
“You don’t always have to worry about them, you know.”
“I know,” she whispered, “But I do.”
His expression softened into one of love and something like awe and she quickly looked away, unnerved by the depth of emotions she could read in his eyes. He was dead, and yet he felt more than she did – was more alive than she was.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dinner was a tense, awkward affair, passed in almost complete silence. Willow and Anya had had another argument, resurrecting old tensions, and their respective partners were watching them nervously, waiting for an explosion. And she just couldn’t care less. She ate her food in silence, watching the scene unfold, waiting too. But the explosion never came and in fact, a silent truce seemed to have been formed.
As she carried the dirty dishes through to the kitchen, she heard Willow striking up a conversation with the ex-demon.
“Here, let me help you.”
As usual, Spike’s sudden appearance made her jump and she almost dropped the pile of plates she was carrying; she would have, if not for his steadying hand. He took the plates from her and placed them down on the side.
“You really don’t have to.”
“Rather be in here with you,” he murmured, flashing her a shy look and turning quickly back to the plates, sliding them one by one into the soapy water. She smiled somewhat bemusedly and moved to his side.
“Not worried about prune hands?” she asked with a smile.
“I think they’re very sexy,” he teased.
She laughed and took a plate from him, drying it.
They were joined a moment later by her sister, who flounced into the room and plonked herself down on a stool.
“How come you guys always seem to escape before everyone goes psycho?!”
Buffy sent her sister a wide smile and took another plate from the vampire. A short silence fell over the trio, but sure enough Dawn soon broke it.
“Could you two get any more domestic?” she asked with a laugh.
Vampire and Slayer shared a bewildered look and, blushing, Buffy turned to her sister.
“It’s nice that someone offered to help with the dishes,” she commented pointedly.
“Geez, don’t have a cow. I was just saying.”
After a moment’s huffy silence, Dawn slid out of her stool.
“Well, this is as fun as out there. I’m going to my room.”
She disappeared and a few seconds later, the house echoed with the slam of her bedroom door.
“Ahh, to be the guardian of a teenage girl,” she murmured, wiping another dish ferociously.
“You handle it well though,” Spike remarked, never taking his eyes of the dishes.
“You think?!” she asked in surprise and he turned to her with a soft smile.
“I know.”
“Here was me thinking I was being totally un-guardian-like. I can’t seem to stop snapping at her.”
“She’s more than a handful,” Spike replied with a wry smile.
She paused in her movements, watching him for a moment, before she went back to her task, her eyes deliberately averted from his.
“I never got round to thanking you for what you did. For, you know, being there for Dawn, when I… well, you know.”
“I made a promise,” he said quietly.
“You could have broken it. I wouldn’t have known.”
He turned then and she forced her eyes to his.
“I don’t break my promises,” he said seriously, eyes locked on hers, “I may be a monster, but I’ve got some honour.”
She reached out and placed a soothing hand on his arm.
“I know, Spike. I really do.”
She held his gaze for a few seconds longer and then forced her eyes away, her heart racing and her skin flushed.
“We should, err, finish this up and go set up the candles. It’s getting dark.”
“Right you are.”
The rest of the chore was carried out in a silence that wasn’t completely comfortable but wasn’t quite awkward either. She could almost feel the change happening between them, sense all the tiny little things that were shifting, rearranging into something new. Things between them would never go back to the way they had once been, she realised that now. Their world had changed and so had they – and she felt like she was clinging onto the last vestiges of familiarity but failing. Things would be different now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She was relieved when finally, late that night, her friends retired to their beds. The rest of the evening had been passed pleasantly enough but she was feeling the strain of putting on a 24-hour show of strength for them. She could not relax completely though until she heard Dawn’s low snore and she let out a long breath.
“That bad, huh?” Spike whispered from his position lying beside her.
“That bad,” she replied, turning her head, struggling to make out his features in the darkness.
“Tired?”
“Not at all,” she groaned quietly, rolling onto her side, facing him.
She thought she might have seen a smile but his features were still not quite clear.
“Tired of putting on a show?” he whispered.
She gave a ghost of a smile and sighed. Damn him and his perceptiveness.
“So tired.”
He was silent for a moment before she heard him shift in his sleeping bag then she could just make out his bright gaze, fixed on her.
“Don’t have to pretend with me.”
“I know. Thank you.”
She let out another imperceptible sigh and rested her head against her pillow.
“One day, my life is going to go right and it’s going to be great,” she whispered with a tiny smile.
“I’m sure.”
“The only way is up and all that, huh?”
She saw the white flash of his smile and then he was cloaked in darkness again, except for a few rays of moonlight which illuminated his already bright hair.
“It will get better, love. Not at first… these things take time… but it will.”
“Voice of wisdom now?” she teased lightly.
“Had a lot of thinking time lately,” he murmured.
She frowned and buried her head in her pillow, letting out a sigh into the material.
“I wish I’d never come back,” she whispered, daring to voice her most secret desire in the veil of darkness. Spike was silent for a long moment before she heard him exhale and then he spoke.
“Can’t say I wish the same thing. Wish you hadn’t… I mean… I dunno,” he stammered out, “Can’t be sad about having you back. Seeing you again. Just knowing you’re in the world.”
She felt her heart lurch with his soft, heartfelt words and it was the catalyst for all the emotions she had been holding back.
She buried her head in the pillow even more, desperately trying to muffle her sobs and stop them at the same time. Moments later, she felt a hesitant hand at her hair and she shifted instinctively closer, searching for the comfort she desperately needed. After a few seconds of hesitance that she could sense in every muscle, Spike finally moved, wrapping his arm around her and holding her against him tightly, his head resting gently against hers.
She relinquished the comfort of her pillow and twisted in his embrace, curling up against him and resting her head against his chest, one hand held to her mouth. He tightened his grip on her then and his hand stroked over her hair.
“S’okay,” he murmured against her hair, “S’alright. I’m here. You let it out. Let it all out, love.”
She twined her free hand in his T-shirt and cried her sorrow out onto the black fabric, the ice around her heart melting away with every tear, with every gentle caress of his hand. She felt him press a hesitant kiss to her hair and she leaned into it, clinging to him tightly now, letting a feeling of calm wash over her. As she drifted to sleep, her last thought was that she had never felt so safe in her life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the afternoon, she was ready to explode at the next person who complained or whined. The electricity had cut out earlier that day and with no television to distract them, tension was quickly reaching breaking point. Several times she had to catch herself from snapping and she was finding it harder and harder to resist. No-one seemed to want to help her with anything and she was almost tempted to leave, flood be damned. Her nerves on edge, she was glad to distract herself with a search for candles ready for when night fell. When Spike silently joined her in the attic, she sent him a strained smile and went back to her search with him at her side.
After a significant pile of candles had been built up, she sat back, dusting her hands down on her jacket and letting out a shaky breath. Spike settled beside her and she ran a hand through her hair, giving him a wry smile.
“I think I might be going mad.”
“A little electricity to the brain is starting to look quite pleasant if it means peace,” he murmured and she laughed lightly, leaning back on her hands.
“I’m sure I should be discouraging you from the slaughter of my friends…”
She smiled widely and he grinned, leaning back beside her, propping himself against a support.
“They don’t play so well together.”
“Not anymore, no.”
“Tensions have been brewing all summer,” he said quietly, giving her a knowing look, and she sat up straighter.
“Really?”
“Power vacuum at the top, wasn’t there? Leader gone… someone has to step up… But not everyone was happy when the Wicca decided she was the boss.”
“Willow has got quite…”
“Overbearing? Power hungry?”
She smiled wryly and leant forward to wrap her arms around her knees.
“Everyone’s changed,” she murmured.
“Not all for the bad though?” he suggested and she flashed him a genuine smile.
“Not all bad, no.”
He smiled softly and a companionable silence settled over them. She rested her head against her knees, closing her eyes and relishing the momentary respite.
“Buffy?”
She jolted awake and after a moment’s disorientation, she sat up quickly.
“What-“
“You drifted off,” Spike explained with an affectionate smile, withdrawing the arm that had been around her.
“I haven’t been sleeping so good,” she admitted after a moment’s pause.
“Bad dreams?”
“Sorta.”
She shrugged and with a sigh, sat up straighter.
“I guess we’d better get back downstairs before they send out a search party.”
Before she could get to her feet though, Spike caught her arm and she turned to him.
“You don’t always have to worry about them, you know.”
“I know,” she whispered, “But I do.”
His expression softened into one of love and something like awe and she quickly looked away, unnerved by the depth of emotions she could read in his eyes. He was dead, and yet he felt more than she did – was more alive than she was.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dinner was a tense, awkward affair, passed in almost complete silence. Willow and Anya had had another argument, resurrecting old tensions, and their respective partners were watching them nervously, waiting for an explosion. And she just couldn’t care less. She ate her food in silence, watching the scene unfold, waiting too. But the explosion never came and in fact, a silent truce seemed to have been formed.
As she carried the dirty dishes through to the kitchen, she heard Willow striking up a conversation with the ex-demon.
“Here, let me help you.”
As usual, Spike’s sudden appearance made her jump and she almost dropped the pile of plates she was carrying; she would have, if not for his steadying hand. He took the plates from her and placed them down on the side.
“You really don’t have to.”
“Rather be in here with you,” he murmured, flashing her a shy look and turning quickly back to the plates, sliding them one by one into the soapy water. She smiled somewhat bemusedly and moved to his side.
“Not worried about prune hands?” she asked with a smile.
“I think they’re very sexy,” he teased.
She laughed and took a plate from him, drying it.
They were joined a moment later by her sister, who flounced into the room and plonked herself down on a stool.
“How come you guys always seem to escape before everyone goes psycho?!”
Buffy sent her sister a wide smile and took another plate from the vampire. A short silence fell over the trio, but sure enough Dawn soon broke it.
“Could you two get any more domestic?” she asked with a laugh.
Vampire and Slayer shared a bewildered look and, blushing, Buffy turned to her sister.
“It’s nice that someone offered to help with the dishes,” she commented pointedly.
“Geez, don’t have a cow. I was just saying.”
After a moment’s huffy silence, Dawn slid out of her stool.
“Well, this is as fun as out there. I’m going to my room.”
She disappeared and a few seconds later, the house echoed with the slam of her bedroom door.
“Ahh, to be the guardian of a teenage girl,” she murmured, wiping another dish ferociously.
“You handle it well though,” Spike remarked, never taking his eyes of the dishes.
“You think?!” she asked in surprise and he turned to her with a soft smile.
“I know.”
“Here was me thinking I was being totally un-guardian-like. I can’t seem to stop snapping at her.”
“She’s more than a handful,” Spike replied with a wry smile.
She paused in her movements, watching him for a moment, before she went back to her task, her eyes deliberately averted from his.
“I never got round to thanking you for what you did. For, you know, being there for Dawn, when I… well, you know.”
“I made a promise,” he said quietly.
“You could have broken it. I wouldn’t have known.”
He turned then and she forced her eyes to his.
“I don’t break my promises,” he said seriously, eyes locked on hers, “I may be a monster, but I’ve got some honour.”
She reached out and placed a soothing hand on his arm.
“I know, Spike. I really do.”
She held his gaze for a few seconds longer and then forced her eyes away, her heart racing and her skin flushed.
“We should, err, finish this up and go set up the candles. It’s getting dark.”
“Right you are.”
The rest of the chore was carried out in a silence that wasn’t completely comfortable but wasn’t quite awkward either. She could almost feel the change happening between them, sense all the tiny little things that were shifting, rearranging into something new. Things between them would never go back to the way they had once been, she realised that now. Their world had changed and so had they – and she felt like she was clinging onto the last vestiges of familiarity but failing. Things would be different now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She was relieved when finally, late that night, her friends retired to their beds. The rest of the evening had been passed pleasantly enough but she was feeling the strain of putting on a 24-hour show of strength for them. She could not relax completely though until she heard Dawn’s low snore and she let out a long breath.
“That bad, huh?” Spike whispered from his position lying beside her.
“That bad,” she replied, turning her head, struggling to make out his features in the darkness.
“Tired?”
“Not at all,” she groaned quietly, rolling onto her side, facing him.
She thought she might have seen a smile but his features were still not quite clear.
“Tired of putting on a show?” he whispered.
She gave a ghost of a smile and sighed. Damn him and his perceptiveness.
“So tired.”
He was silent for a moment before she heard him shift in his sleeping bag then she could just make out his bright gaze, fixed on her.
“Don’t have to pretend with me.”
“I know. Thank you.”
She let out another imperceptible sigh and rested her head against her pillow.
“One day, my life is going to go right and it’s going to be great,” she whispered with a tiny smile.
“I’m sure.”
“The only way is up and all that, huh?”
She saw the white flash of his smile and then he was cloaked in darkness again, except for a few rays of moonlight which illuminated his already bright hair.
“It will get better, love. Not at first… these things take time… but it will.”
“Voice of wisdom now?” she teased lightly.
“Had a lot of thinking time lately,” he murmured.
She frowned and buried her head in her pillow, letting out a sigh into the material.
“I wish I’d never come back,” she whispered, daring to voice her most secret desire in the veil of darkness. Spike was silent for a long moment before she heard him exhale and then he spoke.
“Can’t say I wish the same thing. Wish you hadn’t… I mean… I dunno,” he stammered out, “Can’t be sad about having you back. Seeing you again. Just knowing you’re in the world.”
She felt her heart lurch with his soft, heartfelt words and it was the catalyst for all the emotions she had been holding back.
She buried her head in the pillow even more, desperately trying to muffle her sobs and stop them at the same time. Moments later, she felt a hesitant hand at her hair and she shifted instinctively closer, searching for the comfort she desperately needed. After a few seconds of hesitance that she could sense in every muscle, Spike finally moved, wrapping his arm around her and holding her against him tightly, his head resting gently against hers.
She relinquished the comfort of her pillow and twisted in his embrace, curling up against him and resting her head against his chest, one hand held to her mouth. He tightened his grip on her then and his hand stroked over her hair.
“S’okay,” he murmured against her hair, “S’alright. I’m here. You let it out. Let it all out, love.”
She twined her free hand in his T-shirt and cried her sorrow out onto the black fabric, the ice around her heart melting away with every tear, with every gentle caress of his hand. She felt him press a hesitant kiss to her hair and she leaned into it, clinging to him tightly now, letting a feeling of calm wash over her. As she drifted to sleep, her last thought was that she had never felt so safe in her life.
Day Two (Part One)
Day Two (Part One)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The morning brought with it a subdued feeling after the tensions of the night before and Buffy wondered idly if it was depression at the ever-present floodwaters, or if maybe her friends had found comfort in the embrace of their respective partners too.
Part of her shrank away from the idea of Spike as her partner but she knew it to be true: they were not partners in the intimate sense, but equals, confidantes. She had found in his tight embrace the solace she had been desperately seeking in the long weeks since her resurrection – but more than that, she had found understanding, security and something else. Something that scared her.
She woke, however, bereft of his touch and had forced herself into another day of a life she had been torn back to. A life that seemed to throw challenges, tests, at her with every step she took.
Upon waking, she received the annoying, unsettling news that her bed was broken. Not even wanting to imagine what feats Xander and Anya had performed to break her bed, she had taken one look and clenched her fists tightly together. Xander – abashed and slightly flushed – had promised to fix it as best he could and, much to everyone’s surprise, Spike had offered to lend a hand. Buffy hadn’t been the only one looking at him in bewilderment after his offer.
“What?!” he protested, raising an eyebrow, “Makes me feel all manly.”
She rolled her eyes and they shared a soft smile before he followed Xander up the stairs, leaving the females alone. They settled down to wait quietly – the television still decommissioned – but Buffy quickly grew impatient and went to make herself a drink.
As she returned, the room quickly fell silent and she looked at her friends suspiciously as they shared a quick look and started up a fake conversation. She let them continue for a few minutes before she interrupted.
“What were you talking about?” she asked abruptly and several wide eyes turned to her, expressions of innocence on every face.
“When?” Willow asked.
“Just before I came in. You got all sneakily quiet.”
“We weren’t talking about anything.”
Thankfully, Anya’s ever-lacking tact prevented her from joining in the careful charade of the others.
“We were talking about you and Spike and your sudden closeness. I think you are having a great deal of superhuman sex but the others disagreed.”
A silence fell over them – the others out of embarrassment, while she was stunned, shocked. She forced a shaky smile and tried to brush away the faint feeling of something that churned in her stomach at the thought. A feeling by no means one of disgust.
“Why would you think that?” she asked, her voice wobbling slightly, her smile wide with half-genuine amusement.
The girls shared another look and Willow turned to her, silently designated spokeswoman.
“Well, we were just, you know, noticing that you’d been spending a lot of time together. Private time.”
“Yeah, like every five minutes you’re going off together,” Dawn added with a smug smile.
“And?!” she countered somewhat defensively, only increasing the breadth of her sister’s smile.
“We just wondered what… I mean, you two weren’t that close before and…” Willow trailed off uncertainly, sharing a look with a girlfriend.
“We’re friends,” she answered after a pause, “And last time I checked, speaking to someone didn’t constitute a sexual relationship.”
“It is a very good step towards one though,” Anya pointed out cheerfully, “Better communication means better sex.”
“Dawnie, cover your ears,” she got out almost automatically.
“A bit late, Buffy.”
“Okay, well, just… I don’t know, wipe that last sentence from your mind. And, Anya, please stop trying to corrupt my sister.”
Anya shrugged and she couldn’t help but smile at the ex-demon’s attitude – it made for entertaining viewing at least. Luckily, her defence of the other charges was prevented by the return of the two males, bickering in an almost friendly way, and was promptly forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When later she found refuge in the dim light of the basement for the umpteenth time – and was joined moments later by Spike – she thought of her friends’ words though. She had been spending a lot of time with Spike lately: a lot more than they knew about. She had sensed that faint hint of displeasure in their words but she shrugged it off. There was absolutely nothing wrong with what she was doing and there was absolutely no way she was going to stop. Spike’s mere presence bestowed a calm upon her that had been impossible for a long time now. And, whatever the implications, she enjoyed his company.
“How long do you think this flood can possibly last?” she asked him, breaking the comfortable silence that had surrounded them since his arrival.
“Hard to say. Maybe it’s biblical,” he joked with a half-smile and she slapped his arm lightly.
“I really hope not.”
They fell silent for a moment, but she soon spoke up again, unable to meet his gaze as she did so.
“I’m, err, I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what happened.”
“I do,” he answered and she turned to him in surprise, “You bottled everything up. You always have done. M’just surprised it didn’t come out sooner.”
His voice and his expression softened as he spoke, blue eyes watching her with slight concern.
“I know,” she admitted, “I just… you know I don’t do feelings well.”
“Doesn’t mean you should hide them all away and suffer in silence.”
He paused and then reached out a hand, placing it lightly – hesitantly - on her shoulder.
“I’m here, whenever you need to talk.”
“I know,” she whispered, reaching up to cover his hand with hers, smiling a tiny smile, “I really do.”
They sat there unmoving for a long few minutes, her hand clasping his against her shoulder, her eyes fixed on his. She really looked at him, taking in every little emotion that flittered through his eyes, wondering just how a vampire could feel so much. Especially when she still felt half dead.
“I… I really am… grateful,” she got out quietly, flicking her eyes to his and then away again nervously.
“For what?” he whispered.
“Just… I don’t know, everything,” she whispered in return, raising her head and giving him a shy smile, “You… I never… I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
She laughed helplessly and he smiled, reaching out with his free hand to brush her hair from her face. The brush of his fingers sent tingles over her skin and her eyes locked on his once again. She froze and she felt him falter, hand falling from her face but hovering close by.
“You’ve changed,” she found herself saying, “And I wish I’d been there to see it.”
“If I’ve changed, it’s because of you,” he murmured, eyes holding hers, “Because of what I feel for you.”
He had never come this close to declaring his feelings for her since she had been back and she found herself wishing he would go on. She squeezed his hand where it still lay trapped under hers, eyes almost pleading him.
“Do you still… love me?” she asked in a whisper.
“Always,” he replied without a moment’s pause, “Can’t help myself.”
He smiled wryly, perhaps in a bid to lighten the mood, but all she could do was stare at him.
“Buffy?” he called uncertainly and she raised her gaze from where it had dropped – to his lips. He was watching her carefully, confusion and hope blending in his eyes. She held his gaze for a long moment, before leaning forward ever so slightly and touching her lips to his. He barely moved but she felt his surprise, quickly followed by his own hesitant response.
His hand slipped from under hers to rest against her neck, holding her close but in no way restraining her as they shared a sweet, soft kiss. She remembered their last kiss in a flash – but this was so different, tinged with more than just gratitude. She pulled back from him slowly and opened her eyes to find him staring at her, joy warring with anxiety in his eyes. She opened her mouth to speak – and never had the chance to say anything.
Moments later, the door to the basement opened and she just had time to snatch her hand back before Dawn was staring down at them.
“Willow said I wasn’t allowed to read the magic books,” she complained, pouting as she crossed her arms.
Trying hard not to lose her temper, and trying to summon that hard layer of self-control, she clenched her jaw and rose to her feet, her eyes just flicking to Spike’s.
“Well, you really shouldn’t.”
“I’m not stupid, you know. I wasn’t going to read them out loud. I just wanted to look.”
“You can’t.”
Dawn just huffed in reply and stormed off. A second later, she sagged against the doorframe, her energy sapped.
She felt Spike’s hand on her arm and she tensed, then relaxed again with his touch.
“Buffy?” he murmured, his voice filled with worry.
“I’m fine,” she whispered shakily.
“Liar,” he accused and, hearing the smile in his voice, she smiled too.
She could feel him just behind her – could sense every tiny movement of his body – and she tensed again, wanting to lean back into him. Or even better, to turn and wrap her arms around him and forget about everything else. The idea scared her so much that she quickly stumbled forwards into the kitchen.
“I should start getting lunch ready.”
She fumbled her way around the kitchen nervously, clumsy as anything as she felt Spike’s heated gaze following her every movement. She glanced at him a few times but it made her blush so fervently that she quickly looked away again. With the bustle of the next few hours, she soon pushed all thoughts of the kiss they had shared to the back of her mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Despite the hours of forgetfulness, the memory of their kiss quickly pushed its way to the forefront of her mind the minute they were alone together. Whilst the gang were playing what must have been their tenth game of Monopoly, she escaped to the kitchen with a pile of papers – all unpaid bills. She made no invitation to the vampire but sure enough he joined her a minute later and she was glad of the company as she tried to make sense of her finances.
It didn’t take her too long to be distracted from the dreaded task by the vampire at her side though and already after a few minutes, she was attuned to every move he made, could feel him watching her – and her heart was racing. The vivid remembrance of their kiss made her blush and duck her head so he would not see but she had a feeling he knew anyway. Eyes fixed on the numbers before her, all she could think about was the softness of his lips and the way he had cupped her face so gently, so tenderly. It was one of the sweetest kisses she had ever experienced – and to think, it had been shared with her one-time nemesis.
She shifted uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze and struggled to find something to say – anything to break the tense silence that stretched on and on.
“I don’t understand this. Do you?” she got out, thrusting a water bill at him.
He looked a bit bewildered but then he took it from her and looked at her, his brow crinkling in concentration as he puzzled out the figures. After a few minutes, he frowned and placed the paper down beside her on the counter.
“I’m sorry, love. I don’t understand.”
She smiled weakly and rested her elbows on the counter, letting out a sigh as she buried her head in her hands.
“What am I going to do?” she whispered helplessly, “I don’t understand half of these things. But I know enough to know that I can’t afford anything.”
She could feel the emotions that had broken free last night threatening to return and she forced them down, swallowing hard. She brushed her hair from her face with a shaking hand and stared at the scattered letters blindly.
“I don’t know what to do,” she choked out, careful to keep her voice low.
Spike said nothing, but seconds later, she felt his hand, heavy yet reassuring, on her back.
“We’ll figure it out,” he murmured huskily, his hand smoothing up her back and just rubbing the tense muscles of her neck.
The action reminded her of the night she had told him of her mother’s illness, out on the back porch. Back then though, he had rested his hand on her back tentatively, almost afraid to move it – but now, his hand rubbed over her back and shoulders, stroking her hair. She did not move at first but soon relaxed into his touch, slumping against the counter as his caress soothed her. His fingers trailed over her neck and she arched into his touch, brushing her cheek against his hand.
“You’re not alone,” he whispered, his voice hypnotically soft, “You don’t always have to be strong.”
“Don’t I?”
She raised her eyes to his, leaning into his touch as he stroked his thumb over her cheek.
“No,” he murmured, shaking his head.
She could feel the barriers breaking down and she reluctantly withdrew from his touch and pushed herself to her feet.
“I need some air.”
She moved to the back door and peeked out at the porch - which remained thus far safe from the flood. Rain was falling again, rippling on the water, moving it ever so gently. She turned and looked back at Spike.
“Some company would be good too,” she whispered, smiling shyly.
Eyes dark with emotion, he got to his feet and followed her silently out onto the porch.
They stood there side by side in silence, watching the patterns the rain made on the water, both seemingly content to stay quiet and enjoy the tranquillity. She leant back against the house and he did the same, eyes fixed on the water. Slowly, she shifted closer to him, until her arm brushed against his. When she glanced up at him, the hint of a smile was on his lips and she smiled too, letting her fingers brush against his.
It was a ridiculously romantic scene and it made her smile even more. When his hand trailed up her arm and he leaned in, his breath stirring her hair, she felt every nerve tingle in anticipation.
“If you don’t want this, stop me now,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear and sending a tremor through her.
In reply, she turned swiftly and drew his mouth to hers, leaning into him as he returned her kiss passionately. She stumbled back and hit the wall, letting out a gasp and breaking their kiss for a few short seconds before he was kissing her again, his lips cool against hers. Both hands rested on her shoulders, pinning her gently against the wall and she sank against him, succumbing to his caresses.
He was still carefully tender – as if afraid she might break, or maybe that she might bolt – and she savoured every moment of it. Only when she grew short of breath did she pull away, breathing heavily as his hands brushed over her arms, her shoulders, her hair.
“Buffy,” he murmured, his voice husky and rough, his eyes closed, “I love you.”
She caught his lips with hers once more, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him tightly. He let out a throaty groan and pressed her against the wall, deepening their kiss and sending her pulse skyrocketing. Their kiss grew hungry and she gasped when he broke from her, his mouth landing with vampiric precision on the pulse point at her neck. She arched against him, letting herself be swept away by the feelings he was rousing in her – feelings she had been suppressing for too long.
“Spike,” she breathed, hands gripping his arms tightly.
He pulled back and dark, hungry eyes met hers. She sank back against the wall, holding his gaze with heavy-lidded eyes, feeling weak with desire.
“Buffy?! Buffy?”
Once again, Dawn found a way to break into a perfect moment and she had to force her anger down quickly. When she quickly went back into the house and found her sister genuinely worried though, her anger was quickly replaced with guilt and self-loathing.
“I couldn’t find you,” Dawn got out, obviously trying hard not to get worked up, “I thought you’d gone.”
Instantly, her sisterly instinct kicked in and she moved over to Dawn, brushing her fingers through her long hair.
“Of course I’m not gone. I’d have to swim if I wanted to go anywhere and you know I can’t swim,” she said with a smile and she saw Dawn relax, returning her smile with a shaky one of her own. Her sister studied her worriedly for a few more moments before she nodded briskly.
“Do you guys wanna play Monopoly? Someone really needs to beat Anya.”
She paused, glanced at Spike, and then turned back to her sister with a smile.
“Sure. Let’s go. No-one can take the Summers sisters.”
She looped her arm through her sister’s and with a wide smile, moved into the living room with her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The morning brought with it a subdued feeling after the tensions of the night before and Buffy wondered idly if it was depression at the ever-present floodwaters, or if maybe her friends had found comfort in the embrace of their respective partners too.
Part of her shrank away from the idea of Spike as her partner but she knew it to be true: they were not partners in the intimate sense, but equals, confidantes. She had found in his tight embrace the solace she had been desperately seeking in the long weeks since her resurrection – but more than that, she had found understanding, security and something else. Something that scared her.
She woke, however, bereft of his touch and had forced herself into another day of a life she had been torn back to. A life that seemed to throw challenges, tests, at her with every step she took.
Upon waking, she received the annoying, unsettling news that her bed was broken. Not even wanting to imagine what feats Xander and Anya had performed to break her bed, she had taken one look and clenched her fists tightly together. Xander – abashed and slightly flushed – had promised to fix it as best he could and, much to everyone’s surprise, Spike had offered to lend a hand. Buffy hadn’t been the only one looking at him in bewilderment after his offer.
“What?!” he protested, raising an eyebrow, “Makes me feel all manly.”
She rolled her eyes and they shared a soft smile before he followed Xander up the stairs, leaving the females alone. They settled down to wait quietly – the television still decommissioned – but Buffy quickly grew impatient and went to make herself a drink.
As she returned, the room quickly fell silent and she looked at her friends suspiciously as they shared a quick look and started up a fake conversation. She let them continue for a few minutes before she interrupted.
“What were you talking about?” she asked abruptly and several wide eyes turned to her, expressions of innocence on every face.
“When?” Willow asked.
“Just before I came in. You got all sneakily quiet.”
“We weren’t talking about anything.”
Thankfully, Anya’s ever-lacking tact prevented her from joining in the careful charade of the others.
“We were talking about you and Spike and your sudden closeness. I think you are having a great deal of superhuman sex but the others disagreed.”
A silence fell over them – the others out of embarrassment, while she was stunned, shocked. She forced a shaky smile and tried to brush away the faint feeling of something that churned in her stomach at the thought. A feeling by no means one of disgust.
“Why would you think that?” she asked, her voice wobbling slightly, her smile wide with half-genuine amusement.
The girls shared another look and Willow turned to her, silently designated spokeswoman.
“Well, we were just, you know, noticing that you’d been spending a lot of time together. Private time.”
“Yeah, like every five minutes you’re going off together,” Dawn added with a smug smile.
“And?!” she countered somewhat defensively, only increasing the breadth of her sister’s smile.
“We just wondered what… I mean, you two weren’t that close before and…” Willow trailed off uncertainly, sharing a look with a girlfriend.
“We’re friends,” she answered after a pause, “And last time I checked, speaking to someone didn’t constitute a sexual relationship.”
“It is a very good step towards one though,” Anya pointed out cheerfully, “Better communication means better sex.”
“Dawnie, cover your ears,” she got out almost automatically.
“A bit late, Buffy.”
“Okay, well, just… I don’t know, wipe that last sentence from your mind. And, Anya, please stop trying to corrupt my sister.”
Anya shrugged and she couldn’t help but smile at the ex-demon’s attitude – it made for entertaining viewing at least. Luckily, her defence of the other charges was prevented by the return of the two males, bickering in an almost friendly way, and was promptly forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When later she found refuge in the dim light of the basement for the umpteenth time – and was joined moments later by Spike – she thought of her friends’ words though. She had been spending a lot of time with Spike lately: a lot more than they knew about. She had sensed that faint hint of displeasure in their words but she shrugged it off. There was absolutely nothing wrong with what she was doing and there was absolutely no way she was going to stop. Spike’s mere presence bestowed a calm upon her that had been impossible for a long time now. And, whatever the implications, she enjoyed his company.
“How long do you think this flood can possibly last?” she asked him, breaking the comfortable silence that had surrounded them since his arrival.
“Hard to say. Maybe it’s biblical,” he joked with a half-smile and she slapped his arm lightly.
“I really hope not.”
They fell silent for a moment, but she soon spoke up again, unable to meet his gaze as she did so.
“I’m, err, I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what happened.”
“I do,” he answered and she turned to him in surprise, “You bottled everything up. You always have done. M’just surprised it didn’t come out sooner.”
His voice and his expression softened as he spoke, blue eyes watching her with slight concern.
“I know,” she admitted, “I just… you know I don’t do feelings well.”
“Doesn’t mean you should hide them all away and suffer in silence.”
He paused and then reached out a hand, placing it lightly – hesitantly - on her shoulder.
“I’m here, whenever you need to talk.”
“I know,” she whispered, reaching up to cover his hand with hers, smiling a tiny smile, “I really do.”
They sat there unmoving for a long few minutes, her hand clasping his against her shoulder, her eyes fixed on his. She really looked at him, taking in every little emotion that flittered through his eyes, wondering just how a vampire could feel so much. Especially when she still felt half dead.
“I… I really am… grateful,” she got out quietly, flicking her eyes to his and then away again nervously.
“For what?” he whispered.
“Just… I don’t know, everything,” she whispered in return, raising her head and giving him a shy smile, “You… I never… I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
She laughed helplessly and he smiled, reaching out with his free hand to brush her hair from her face. The brush of his fingers sent tingles over her skin and her eyes locked on his once again. She froze and she felt him falter, hand falling from her face but hovering close by.
“You’ve changed,” she found herself saying, “And I wish I’d been there to see it.”
“If I’ve changed, it’s because of you,” he murmured, eyes holding hers, “Because of what I feel for you.”
He had never come this close to declaring his feelings for her since she had been back and she found herself wishing he would go on. She squeezed his hand where it still lay trapped under hers, eyes almost pleading him.
“Do you still… love me?” she asked in a whisper.
“Always,” he replied without a moment’s pause, “Can’t help myself.”
He smiled wryly, perhaps in a bid to lighten the mood, but all she could do was stare at him.
“Buffy?” he called uncertainly and she raised her gaze from where it had dropped – to his lips. He was watching her carefully, confusion and hope blending in his eyes. She held his gaze for a long moment, before leaning forward ever so slightly and touching her lips to his. He barely moved but she felt his surprise, quickly followed by his own hesitant response.
His hand slipped from under hers to rest against her neck, holding her close but in no way restraining her as they shared a sweet, soft kiss. She remembered their last kiss in a flash – but this was so different, tinged with more than just gratitude. She pulled back from him slowly and opened her eyes to find him staring at her, joy warring with anxiety in his eyes. She opened her mouth to speak – and never had the chance to say anything.
Moments later, the door to the basement opened and she just had time to snatch her hand back before Dawn was staring down at them.
“Willow said I wasn’t allowed to read the magic books,” she complained, pouting as she crossed her arms.
Trying hard not to lose her temper, and trying to summon that hard layer of self-control, she clenched her jaw and rose to her feet, her eyes just flicking to Spike’s.
“Well, you really shouldn’t.”
“I’m not stupid, you know. I wasn’t going to read them out loud. I just wanted to look.”
“You can’t.”
Dawn just huffed in reply and stormed off. A second later, she sagged against the doorframe, her energy sapped.
She felt Spike’s hand on her arm and she tensed, then relaxed again with his touch.
“Buffy?” he murmured, his voice filled with worry.
“I’m fine,” she whispered shakily.
“Liar,” he accused and, hearing the smile in his voice, she smiled too.
She could feel him just behind her – could sense every tiny movement of his body – and she tensed again, wanting to lean back into him. Or even better, to turn and wrap her arms around him and forget about everything else. The idea scared her so much that she quickly stumbled forwards into the kitchen.
“I should start getting lunch ready.”
She fumbled her way around the kitchen nervously, clumsy as anything as she felt Spike’s heated gaze following her every movement. She glanced at him a few times but it made her blush so fervently that she quickly looked away again. With the bustle of the next few hours, she soon pushed all thoughts of the kiss they had shared to the back of her mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Despite the hours of forgetfulness, the memory of their kiss quickly pushed its way to the forefront of her mind the minute they were alone together. Whilst the gang were playing what must have been their tenth game of Monopoly, she escaped to the kitchen with a pile of papers – all unpaid bills. She made no invitation to the vampire but sure enough he joined her a minute later and she was glad of the company as she tried to make sense of her finances.
It didn’t take her too long to be distracted from the dreaded task by the vampire at her side though and already after a few minutes, she was attuned to every move he made, could feel him watching her – and her heart was racing. The vivid remembrance of their kiss made her blush and duck her head so he would not see but she had a feeling he knew anyway. Eyes fixed on the numbers before her, all she could think about was the softness of his lips and the way he had cupped her face so gently, so tenderly. It was one of the sweetest kisses she had ever experienced – and to think, it had been shared with her one-time nemesis.
She shifted uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze and struggled to find something to say – anything to break the tense silence that stretched on and on.
“I don’t understand this. Do you?” she got out, thrusting a water bill at him.
He looked a bit bewildered but then he took it from her and looked at her, his brow crinkling in concentration as he puzzled out the figures. After a few minutes, he frowned and placed the paper down beside her on the counter.
“I’m sorry, love. I don’t understand.”
She smiled weakly and rested her elbows on the counter, letting out a sigh as she buried her head in her hands.
“What am I going to do?” she whispered helplessly, “I don’t understand half of these things. But I know enough to know that I can’t afford anything.”
She could feel the emotions that had broken free last night threatening to return and she forced them down, swallowing hard. She brushed her hair from her face with a shaking hand and stared at the scattered letters blindly.
“I don’t know what to do,” she choked out, careful to keep her voice low.
Spike said nothing, but seconds later, she felt his hand, heavy yet reassuring, on her back.
“We’ll figure it out,” he murmured huskily, his hand smoothing up her back and just rubbing the tense muscles of her neck.
The action reminded her of the night she had told him of her mother’s illness, out on the back porch. Back then though, he had rested his hand on her back tentatively, almost afraid to move it – but now, his hand rubbed over her back and shoulders, stroking her hair. She did not move at first but soon relaxed into his touch, slumping against the counter as his caress soothed her. His fingers trailed over her neck and she arched into his touch, brushing her cheek against his hand.
“You’re not alone,” he whispered, his voice hypnotically soft, “You don’t always have to be strong.”
“Don’t I?”
She raised her eyes to his, leaning into his touch as he stroked his thumb over her cheek.
“No,” he murmured, shaking his head.
She could feel the barriers breaking down and she reluctantly withdrew from his touch and pushed herself to her feet.
“I need some air.”
She moved to the back door and peeked out at the porch - which remained thus far safe from the flood. Rain was falling again, rippling on the water, moving it ever so gently. She turned and looked back at Spike.
“Some company would be good too,” she whispered, smiling shyly.
Eyes dark with emotion, he got to his feet and followed her silently out onto the porch.
They stood there side by side in silence, watching the patterns the rain made on the water, both seemingly content to stay quiet and enjoy the tranquillity. She leant back against the house and he did the same, eyes fixed on the water. Slowly, she shifted closer to him, until her arm brushed against his. When she glanced up at him, the hint of a smile was on his lips and she smiled too, letting her fingers brush against his.
It was a ridiculously romantic scene and it made her smile even more. When his hand trailed up her arm and he leaned in, his breath stirring her hair, she felt every nerve tingle in anticipation.
“If you don’t want this, stop me now,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear and sending a tremor through her.
In reply, she turned swiftly and drew his mouth to hers, leaning into him as he returned her kiss passionately. She stumbled back and hit the wall, letting out a gasp and breaking their kiss for a few short seconds before he was kissing her again, his lips cool against hers. Both hands rested on her shoulders, pinning her gently against the wall and she sank against him, succumbing to his caresses.
He was still carefully tender – as if afraid she might break, or maybe that she might bolt – and she savoured every moment of it. Only when she grew short of breath did she pull away, breathing heavily as his hands brushed over her arms, her shoulders, her hair.
“Buffy,” he murmured, his voice husky and rough, his eyes closed, “I love you.”
She caught his lips with hers once more, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him tightly. He let out a throaty groan and pressed her against the wall, deepening their kiss and sending her pulse skyrocketing. Their kiss grew hungry and she gasped when he broke from her, his mouth landing with vampiric precision on the pulse point at her neck. She arched against him, letting herself be swept away by the feelings he was rousing in her – feelings she had been suppressing for too long.
“Spike,” she breathed, hands gripping his arms tightly.
He pulled back and dark, hungry eyes met hers. She sank back against the wall, holding his gaze with heavy-lidded eyes, feeling weak with desire.
“Buffy?! Buffy?”
Once again, Dawn found a way to break into a perfect moment and she had to force her anger down quickly. When she quickly went back into the house and found her sister genuinely worried though, her anger was quickly replaced with guilt and self-loathing.
“I couldn’t find you,” Dawn got out, obviously trying hard not to get worked up, “I thought you’d gone.”
Instantly, her sisterly instinct kicked in and she moved over to Dawn, brushing her fingers through her long hair.
“Of course I’m not gone. I’d have to swim if I wanted to go anywhere and you know I can’t swim,” she said with a smile and she saw Dawn relax, returning her smile with a shaky one of her own. Her sister studied her worriedly for a few more moments before she nodded briskly.
“Do you guys wanna play Monopoly? Someone really needs to beat Anya.”
She paused, glanced at Spike, and then turned back to her sister with a smile.
“Sure. Let’s go. No-one can take the Summers sisters.”
She looped her arm through her sister’s and with a wide smile, moved into the living room with her.
Day Two (Part Two)
Day Two (Part Two)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure enough, the Summers sisters’ combined potential seemed much better than expected, especially with the help of an enterprising vampire. No-one else seemed to notice the amount he had managed to slip from the bank and into the Summers’ pile of play money but Buffy noticed it – and couldn’t help but smile. Even in a game as stupid as Monopoly, he was doing his best to help her and Dawn – even if it did involve cheating. And stealing.
The next time she caught him doing it though, she caught his gaze and gave him a pointed look that drew an almost sheepish look from him. She leant over to him, glad that the gang was distracted by a story from Xander and whispered in his ear:
“Stop cheating.”
“Just giving my girls a fair chance,” he murmured, his fingers just brushing against hers and sending a shiver through her. She rolled her eyes and turned her back on him but she could feel his eyes on her – and moments later, she felt his hand stroking her back softly. She looked up guiltily, wondering if her friends had seen but they were all absorbed in the game and she relaxed again, enjoying the soft caress of his fingers over her back.
When his hand slipped under her top and his cool fingers traced over her skin, she sat up a bit straighter.
“Are you okay, Buffy?”
Her eyes snapped to Willow guiltily and then she quickly covered.
“I was just getting more comfortable,” she lied.
Five minutes later, she couldn’t take anymore and she quickly got up, startling the others.
“You know, I think we need some more candles for later. I think there were some in the bathroom,” she announced, “Will you help me, Spike?”
She saw him go to smirk but thankfully he quickly stopped himself and put on a serious expression.
“Alright.”
She darted out of the room and up the stairs and waited as he leisurely made his way upstairs and joined her in the bathroom. As soon as he got through the door, she pushed him against it, shutting it with a slam, and pressed herself against him, kissing him hungrily. He groaned and tugged her closer, one hand twisting in her hair.
Her hands fumbled with his jacket, shoving it over his shoulders impatiently and moving onto the buttons of his shirt. He slipped out of his jacket and caught her to him, spinning and slamming her against the door with a thud. She gasped but his roughness only excited her more and she dragged him close again, kissing him roughly as nimble fingers worked at his shirt. She finally freed the last button and she scrambled to pull his shirt off as he kissed her hard, tongue battling with hers. As soon as his shirt hit the floor, he lifted her off the floor and she wrapped her legs around him, clinging to him.
He stumbled back and turned, pushing her against the sink. She managed to manoeuvre herself onto the top of the unit, knocking over toiletries as she did and sending many more things to the floor as she dragged him to her again. His feet hit the edge of the unit with a loud thump but she ignored it, holding his face between her hands and kissing him as if her life depended on it.
She couldn’t get enough and when his hands slid under her top, she arched into him, arching her neck into his cool mouth.
“Spike,” she gasped, frantic hands moving to his belt.
He pulled back and tugged her top over her head in one swift motion before settling between her legs again, one arm cradling her against him as the other pulled her skirt up over her knees. She kissed him again and again, losing herself in the magic of his touch, uncaring of the noise they made.
Lost in the feel of him, arching into his touch, she threw her hands out and grabbed onto the nearest objects, tearing the shower curtain and its rail from its place and sending a mirror crashing to the floor. It all went unnoticed though, superseded by the amazing things Spike was doing to her, by the feelings and emotions that were rushing up and bubbling over. She gasped, she cried out his name and she clung to him, kissing him over and over, desperate to taste more of him.
One final piercing shriek, followed by his own loud groan, faded into silence as she slumped against him, arms wrapped loosely around him. His forehead rested against hers, his breath mingling with hers as he breathed just as heavily as her.
“God, I love you,” he murmured breathlessly.
She tightened her grip on him and shifted ever so slightly closer, not willing to break the connection between them yet. She raised her eyes to his though, taken aback at the intensity in his gaze. For once, that intensity did not scare her though: for the first time, it made her warm. She was loved. She smiled and leant forward to press a tender kiss to his lips. She felt like she was flying high and she smiled again when she pulled away, loving the way his eyes lit up as he looked at her.
“That was… amazing,” she whispered shyly.
“Too bloody right it was.”
She smiled softly and let her hands trail over his skin.
A knock at the door startled them both and wide-eyed looks flew to the door.
“Erm, Buffy?” Willow’s small voice called, “I need to use the bathroom.”
They parted quickly and she hurried to throw on her clothes as Spike did the same.
“One minute,” she called.
She turned to Spike to check that he was decent and then opened the door on her friend, blushing profusely. She went to lie but one look at Willow’s face – and the blush that was even brighter than hers – and she knew it was no good. She shuffled past her friend and down the stairs, her heart pounding in her ears. As she rounded the corner, four pairs of eyes looked up at her – three embarrassed, one apparently nonchalant – and she cringed, her face crimson with the realisation that the entire thing had been heard by all of her friends and her younger sister.
“I told you,” Anya stated, making her embarrassment complete.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Needless to say, the rest of the evening was distinguished by a thick tension and long periods of silence. Buffy spent the whole time in a state of acute embarrassment, unable to meet the eyes of any of her friends. The few glances she dared to throw in the direction of Spike found him quieter than usual, although the one time he did catch her looking at him, he sent her a soft smile that made her skin tingle.
When he looked away again, she could not do the same: she continued to study the lines of his face, taking in all the details that had become so familiar. Just looking at him made her skin prickle, made her heart beat just a tiny bit faster – and not only for the vivid recollection of what they had shared in the bathroom. It had been mind-blowing, world-altering, and she was still recovering.
Recovering and adjusting long-held beliefs and feelings. They had been blasted away by his touch, his kisses and the sheer pleasure of being so close to him. Despite her embarrassment, all she could think of was when she might have some time alone with him again. For now, she was left with time to think about just how much the dynamic of their relationship had changed in a short space of time.
This morning, she could not have predicted their heated encounter, but looking back it seemed inevitable. It had always been inevitable, from the moment she had stopped seeing him as a monster and thinking of him as a man.
He had left that monster far behind him now and it astounded her to think how he had once been. Although basically unchanged in character, he was so completely opposite from that former self that she could hardly recognise him. And that made her wonder if he had ever really been as bad as she had once thought. She forced her attention back to the present and looked at him again. He was seemingly waiting because as soon as she looked up, he caught her gaze and smiled ever so slightly. She smiled back and reluctantly shifted her gaze away, unable to hold his bright gaze, fearing that it would be too obvious to him and to everyone around her just what she was feeling.
She was still trying to figure out what this feeling was – hardly daring to name it because if it was what she thought it to be… No, it was too soon to think something like that. All she knew for certain was that she wished time would pass quicker so that she might have some chance to be alone with him – and not necessarily in order to repeat the actions of earlier.
Finally, late into the night, her friends went to their respective beds, leaving her, Spike and Dawn sitting awkwardly in the living room. She got up and shuffled around nervously, rearranging ornaments and pictures in an attempt to calm nerves that were close to fraying. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Spike slouched in one of the armchairs and something about the way he sat, so relaxed, so secure in himself, sent a flush of warmth through her.
He tilted his head and his eyes just flicked to hers but she quickly looked away, moving to smooth out her sleeping bag. Dawn, surprisingly quiet, got ready for bed and then curled up on the couch.
“Bedtime for me,” she announced and Buffy smiled shakily at her sister.
Dawn settled down on the couch, plumped up her pillows a few times, and then settled on her back with her eyes closed. Buffy held her breath for a long moment and then turned to Spike.
“You guys aren’t going to start doing anything down here, are you?” Dawn spoke up and Buffy’s head snapped back to her. Dawn didn’t even look at her but she could see her sister smiling.
“I mean, I’ve already been traumatised enough for one day. And those noises just won’t stop.”
“Go to sleep, Dawn,” she snapped and her sister laughed, pulling her quilt over her and making herself comfortable.
“Night, guys,” she called, her voice tinged with laughter.
“Night, Li’l Bit,” Spike answered softly and when she looked at him, she found him smiling widely – which only made her blush even more.
She sat down on her sleeping bag awkwardly, biting her lip as she tried to think of something to say. Silence filled the room for long moments before she could think of anything though – a silence broken only by the odd sleepy murmur from Dawn.
When she did finally gather up the courage to speak, she turned – only to find Spike standing about a metre away, looking down at her with a warm smile. The words got stuck on her tongue and she just stared back at him. He dropped smoothly to the floor beside her and hesitated for only a short second before he reached out and cupped her face in his hand.
“You look tired,” he said softly, “You should get some sleep.”
“Easier said than done,” she whispered with a wry smile.
He smiled back and withdrew his hand, shucking out of his jacket and laying it down on a chair. He fiddled with his cushions for a moment and then lay down on his back, tucking one arm under his head and turning to her, eyes ablaze with a soft affection.
“Not even going to lie down?”
She hesitated momentarily but then she shifted closer and lay down beside him, eyes locked on his. He reached out and trailed a finger over her arm, smiling softly, half to himself.
“You’re an amazing woman, Buffy.”
“You’re not too bad yourself,” she replied shyly, dropping her gaze from his.
He made no reply but then he shifted closer, drawing her into his arms.
“Love you,” he mumbled into her hair and she let out a long breath, wrapping her arm around him and burying herself against him.
She had thought having sex with him had shaken her world more than anything, but compared to this moment, it was nothing. Curled up in his arms, she felt safe, relaxed, warm. She felt like she could stay there forever, relishing his strong embrace. When he pressed a kiss to her hair, she tilted her head and kissed him, both of them tender in their caresses. She pulled back a long moment later and smiled.
“This isn’t sleeping.”
He laughed under his breath and brushed a hand over her hair.
“No, it’s not. But it’s much more enjoyable.”
She smiled and pulled away, rolling over so she had her back to him. He shifted closer only seconds later and wrapped his arm around her tightly, holding her securely against him. She relaxed completely and twined her fingers in his, letting the soft caress of his thumb over her skin lull her into a sleep that was, for once, unbroken by nightmares.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sure enough, the Summers sisters’ combined potential seemed much better than expected, especially with the help of an enterprising vampire. No-one else seemed to notice the amount he had managed to slip from the bank and into the Summers’ pile of play money but Buffy noticed it – and couldn’t help but smile. Even in a game as stupid as Monopoly, he was doing his best to help her and Dawn – even if it did involve cheating. And stealing.
The next time she caught him doing it though, she caught his gaze and gave him a pointed look that drew an almost sheepish look from him. She leant over to him, glad that the gang was distracted by a story from Xander and whispered in his ear:
“Stop cheating.”
“Just giving my girls a fair chance,” he murmured, his fingers just brushing against hers and sending a shiver through her. She rolled her eyes and turned her back on him but she could feel his eyes on her – and moments later, she felt his hand stroking her back softly. She looked up guiltily, wondering if her friends had seen but they were all absorbed in the game and she relaxed again, enjoying the soft caress of his fingers over her back.
When his hand slipped under her top and his cool fingers traced over her skin, she sat up a bit straighter.
“Are you okay, Buffy?”
Her eyes snapped to Willow guiltily and then she quickly covered.
“I was just getting more comfortable,” she lied.
Five minutes later, she couldn’t take anymore and she quickly got up, startling the others.
“You know, I think we need some more candles for later. I think there were some in the bathroom,” she announced, “Will you help me, Spike?”
She saw him go to smirk but thankfully he quickly stopped himself and put on a serious expression.
“Alright.”
She darted out of the room and up the stairs and waited as he leisurely made his way upstairs and joined her in the bathroom. As soon as he got through the door, she pushed him against it, shutting it with a slam, and pressed herself against him, kissing him hungrily. He groaned and tugged her closer, one hand twisting in her hair.
Her hands fumbled with his jacket, shoving it over his shoulders impatiently and moving onto the buttons of his shirt. He slipped out of his jacket and caught her to him, spinning and slamming her against the door with a thud. She gasped but his roughness only excited her more and she dragged him close again, kissing him roughly as nimble fingers worked at his shirt. She finally freed the last button and she scrambled to pull his shirt off as he kissed her hard, tongue battling with hers. As soon as his shirt hit the floor, he lifted her off the floor and she wrapped her legs around him, clinging to him.
He stumbled back and turned, pushing her against the sink. She managed to manoeuvre herself onto the top of the unit, knocking over toiletries as she did and sending many more things to the floor as she dragged him to her again. His feet hit the edge of the unit with a loud thump but she ignored it, holding his face between her hands and kissing him as if her life depended on it.
She couldn’t get enough and when his hands slid under her top, she arched into him, arching her neck into his cool mouth.
“Spike,” she gasped, frantic hands moving to his belt.
He pulled back and tugged her top over her head in one swift motion before settling between her legs again, one arm cradling her against him as the other pulled her skirt up over her knees. She kissed him again and again, losing herself in the magic of his touch, uncaring of the noise they made.
Lost in the feel of him, arching into his touch, she threw her hands out and grabbed onto the nearest objects, tearing the shower curtain and its rail from its place and sending a mirror crashing to the floor. It all went unnoticed though, superseded by the amazing things Spike was doing to her, by the feelings and emotions that were rushing up and bubbling over. She gasped, she cried out his name and she clung to him, kissing him over and over, desperate to taste more of him.
One final piercing shriek, followed by his own loud groan, faded into silence as she slumped against him, arms wrapped loosely around him. His forehead rested against hers, his breath mingling with hers as he breathed just as heavily as her.
“God, I love you,” he murmured breathlessly.
She tightened her grip on him and shifted ever so slightly closer, not willing to break the connection between them yet. She raised her eyes to his though, taken aback at the intensity in his gaze. For once, that intensity did not scare her though: for the first time, it made her warm. She was loved. She smiled and leant forward to press a tender kiss to his lips. She felt like she was flying high and she smiled again when she pulled away, loving the way his eyes lit up as he looked at her.
“That was… amazing,” she whispered shyly.
“Too bloody right it was.”
She smiled softly and let her hands trail over his skin.
A knock at the door startled them both and wide-eyed looks flew to the door.
“Erm, Buffy?” Willow’s small voice called, “I need to use the bathroom.”
They parted quickly and she hurried to throw on her clothes as Spike did the same.
“One minute,” she called.
She turned to Spike to check that he was decent and then opened the door on her friend, blushing profusely. She went to lie but one look at Willow’s face – and the blush that was even brighter than hers – and she knew it was no good. She shuffled past her friend and down the stairs, her heart pounding in her ears. As she rounded the corner, four pairs of eyes looked up at her – three embarrassed, one apparently nonchalant – and she cringed, her face crimson with the realisation that the entire thing had been heard by all of her friends and her younger sister.
“I told you,” Anya stated, making her embarrassment complete.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Needless to say, the rest of the evening was distinguished by a thick tension and long periods of silence. Buffy spent the whole time in a state of acute embarrassment, unable to meet the eyes of any of her friends. The few glances she dared to throw in the direction of Spike found him quieter than usual, although the one time he did catch her looking at him, he sent her a soft smile that made her skin tingle.
When he looked away again, she could not do the same: she continued to study the lines of his face, taking in all the details that had become so familiar. Just looking at him made her skin prickle, made her heart beat just a tiny bit faster – and not only for the vivid recollection of what they had shared in the bathroom. It had been mind-blowing, world-altering, and she was still recovering.
Recovering and adjusting long-held beliefs and feelings. They had been blasted away by his touch, his kisses and the sheer pleasure of being so close to him. Despite her embarrassment, all she could think of was when she might have some time alone with him again. For now, she was left with time to think about just how much the dynamic of their relationship had changed in a short space of time.
This morning, she could not have predicted their heated encounter, but looking back it seemed inevitable. It had always been inevitable, from the moment she had stopped seeing him as a monster and thinking of him as a man.
He had left that monster far behind him now and it astounded her to think how he had once been. Although basically unchanged in character, he was so completely opposite from that former self that she could hardly recognise him. And that made her wonder if he had ever really been as bad as she had once thought. She forced her attention back to the present and looked at him again. He was seemingly waiting because as soon as she looked up, he caught her gaze and smiled ever so slightly. She smiled back and reluctantly shifted her gaze away, unable to hold his bright gaze, fearing that it would be too obvious to him and to everyone around her just what she was feeling.
She was still trying to figure out what this feeling was – hardly daring to name it because if it was what she thought it to be… No, it was too soon to think something like that. All she knew for certain was that she wished time would pass quicker so that she might have some chance to be alone with him – and not necessarily in order to repeat the actions of earlier.
Finally, late into the night, her friends went to their respective beds, leaving her, Spike and Dawn sitting awkwardly in the living room. She got up and shuffled around nervously, rearranging ornaments and pictures in an attempt to calm nerves that were close to fraying. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Spike slouched in one of the armchairs and something about the way he sat, so relaxed, so secure in himself, sent a flush of warmth through her.
He tilted his head and his eyes just flicked to hers but she quickly looked away, moving to smooth out her sleeping bag. Dawn, surprisingly quiet, got ready for bed and then curled up on the couch.
“Bedtime for me,” she announced and Buffy smiled shakily at her sister.
Dawn settled down on the couch, plumped up her pillows a few times, and then settled on her back with her eyes closed. Buffy held her breath for a long moment and then turned to Spike.
“You guys aren’t going to start doing anything down here, are you?” Dawn spoke up and Buffy’s head snapped back to her. Dawn didn’t even look at her but she could see her sister smiling.
“I mean, I’ve already been traumatised enough for one day. And those noises just won’t stop.”
“Go to sleep, Dawn,” she snapped and her sister laughed, pulling her quilt over her and making herself comfortable.
“Night, guys,” she called, her voice tinged with laughter.
“Night, Li’l Bit,” Spike answered softly and when she looked at him, she found him smiling widely – which only made her blush even more.
She sat down on her sleeping bag awkwardly, biting her lip as she tried to think of something to say. Silence filled the room for long moments before she could think of anything though – a silence broken only by the odd sleepy murmur from Dawn.
When she did finally gather up the courage to speak, she turned – only to find Spike standing about a metre away, looking down at her with a warm smile. The words got stuck on her tongue and she just stared back at him. He dropped smoothly to the floor beside her and hesitated for only a short second before he reached out and cupped her face in his hand.
“You look tired,” he said softly, “You should get some sleep.”
“Easier said than done,” she whispered with a wry smile.
He smiled back and withdrew his hand, shucking out of his jacket and laying it down on a chair. He fiddled with his cushions for a moment and then lay down on his back, tucking one arm under his head and turning to her, eyes ablaze with a soft affection.
“Not even going to lie down?”
She hesitated momentarily but then she shifted closer and lay down beside him, eyes locked on his. He reached out and trailed a finger over her arm, smiling softly, half to himself.
“You’re an amazing woman, Buffy.”
“You’re not too bad yourself,” she replied shyly, dropping her gaze from his.
He made no reply but then he shifted closer, drawing her into his arms.
“Love you,” he mumbled into her hair and she let out a long breath, wrapping her arm around him and burying herself against him.
She had thought having sex with him had shaken her world more than anything, but compared to this moment, it was nothing. Curled up in his arms, she felt safe, relaxed, warm. She felt like she could stay there forever, relishing his strong embrace. When he pressed a kiss to her hair, she tilted her head and kissed him, both of them tender in their caresses. She pulled back a long moment later and smiled.
“This isn’t sleeping.”
He laughed under his breath and brushed a hand over her hair.
“No, it’s not. But it’s much more enjoyable.”
She smiled and pulled away, rolling over so she had her back to him. He shifted closer only seconds later and wrapped his arm around her tightly, holding her securely against him. She relaxed completely and twined her fingers in his, letting the soft caress of his thumb over her skin lull her into a sleep that was, for once, unbroken by nightmares.
Day Three (Part One)
Day Three (Part One)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She woke early and jumped a little when she became aware of the arm still tightly wrapped around her waist. Her heart thumped a little harder and she let herself enjoy Spike’s embrace for a few minutes longer before the call of nature had her wriggling out of his arms. He let out a little disappointed moan in his sleep and rolled onto his back and she smiled warmly down at him, surprised by the sudden burst of feeling that looking at him sent through her.
She quickly sneaked up to the bathroom and when she had finished, she crept out into the hallway and almost collided with Xander.
“Xander!” she got out in a loud whisper.
“Sorry. My bad.”
They fell silent and she bit her lip, eyes falling to the floor. Xander stepped forward a moment later and she looked up at him quickly.
“How about we get some breakfast?” he suggested quietly and it took her a minute to conquer her surprise and agree. He smiled and gestured for her to precede him down the stairs and she did so almost in a daze.
In all honesty, she was amazed that her friend was still talking to her. He had never been quiet about his feelings towards Spike and she was just waiting for the inevitable eruption. He settled on a stool and she watched him, wondering miserably how long he would draw this out.
“So, how are you this morning, Buff?” he asked pleasantly and she slid onto a stool opposite him, sure this had to be some sort of trick.
“Okay,” she answered and then decided to risk a little honesty, “Still embarrassed.”
Instead of the eruption she had expected, she received only a small smile and she stared at her friend in bewilderment. He dropped his eyes to the counter for a short second and then raised his honest, open gaze to her.
“You know, I’m the first to admit that I’m totally guilty of misjudgement. And I’m sorry. But I just wanted to tell you… Spike’s a… he’s a great guy.”
Her eyes went impossibly wide at her friend’s words and she could make no sensible reply to him.
“You what?” she choked out after a long pause.
“I know I was always getting at him before… but even I have to admit that he’s different now. He was different as soon as…”
He trailed off, pain flashing through his expression and she took a deep, calming breath.
“I mean, the guy was… he was broken,” he got out in wonder, “Totally broken.”
“He was?” she whispered.
“Yeah. I didn’t want to see it at first… but even I’m not that blind,” he joked with a wry smile and she smiled back halfheartedly.
He reached out then and placed a hand over hers.
“I know I’ve been the most outspoken against the guy in the past but I want you to know that I just want you to be happy. And, I guess, I just wanted to tell you that I, at least, am okay with this.”
She said nothing for a long time and then she gave a choked laugh.
“Are you? That makes one of us.”
She slumped against the counter and smiled at her friend as he gave her a worried look.
“Did he do something?”
“No, no,” she reassured her friend, “I just… I’m totally confused. And you saying all this stuff just made me feel even more confused.”
She gave him a sheepish smile and he laughed softly, before turning seriously.
“Let me ask you a hard question then… What do you feel for him?”
She paused before answering, trying to analyse these feelings burning deep inside her.
“I don’t know. I know that I really like spending time with him… that he makes me feel… safe. But I…”
She trailed off and then took a deep breath, preparing herself for an act of bravery.
“You wanna know the truth?” she asked her friend.
“Sure.”
“I think I might be in love with him,” she admitted quietly.
Xander was quiet for a moment but then he smiled and covered her hand with his once again.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I’m just so… I haven’t felt like this in so long, Xander. It scares me.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of. And this comes from a man of great experience. Getting married, you know.”
She smiled warmly at her friend and he squeezed her hand, giving her a grin in reply.
“Look, Buffy, I think there’s someone else you should be telling this to.”
“Oh no!” she got out, eyes going wide with panic, “I can’t tell him.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t. What if he doesn’t believe me? Or what if he doesn’t feel that way anymore?”
“Buff, do I have to remind you of that little episode in the bathroom last night?”
She flushed bright red and her friend smiled again, squeezing her hand.
“He loves you,” he said softly, “Doesn’t that make it worth taking a leap of faith?”
She was silent for a short pause and then she smiled softly.
“You know, I think everyone really grew up this summer,” she joked.
“We had to.”
She nodded and swallowed hard before squeezing her friend’s hand in hers.
“Thank you.”
“So, you’re going to tell him?”
“I… I guess so.”
Xander smiled widely and she couldn’t help but smile back. Pushing herself to her feet, she moved around the counter and hugged him tightly.
“You really are a great friend.”
“Well, I know,” he answered with a laugh.
“Interrupting something?”
She spun out of Xander’s hug and met Spike’s gaze, barely noticing her friend’s quick exit from the kitchen – too lost in the blue of his eyes.
“Morning,” she finally choked out.
“Morning.”
“It’s still raining,” she got out almost mechanically.
“I noticed. Water looks to be going down though.”
“Yeah.”
Their awkward conversation finished, they fell silent and she looked around the kitchen nervously, unable to meet his eyes any longer. She could hear Xander’s words echoing around her head and could hear Spike’s own declarations of love mixed in with them.
“Breakfast?” she asked.
“Sure.”
Taking the coward’s way out, she threw herself into making breakfast and kept the talking to a minimum.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander seemed to have taken it upon himself to play matchmaker and every time she caught his gaze that morning, he would look at Spike and then give her a pointed look. Despite this encouragement though, she had absolutely no courage when it came to the possibility of opening up her heart. She would look at Spike and would feel that gush of feeling inside her, but she could not bring herself to pull him aside and tell him.
It didn’t help that Xander wasn’t the only one watching them: she could see her friends – and Dawn – watching every little move they made and it was making her even more nervous. She needed to get away and so she soon escaped to the relative quiet of the kitchen for a few moments.
True to form though, Spike soon joined her, hovering behind her and setting every hair on end.
“You alright?” he murmured, his soft voice sending a little shiver through her.
She turned round to face him quickly and forced a wide smile.
“I’m good. You?”
“I’m fine,” he answered slightly bemusedly, watching her with a gentle smile that didn’t do anything to ease the butterflies in her stomach.
“Look, Buffy,” he started quietly, eyes darting to the door and back to her before he took a step forward, “We need to talk.”
“We do?” she asked nervously, swallowing past the lump in her throat.
“You know we do,” he replied with a tiny smile.
“I do?” she got out, unsure what she was saying, distracted by the way he was looking at her. He smiled affectionately and took another step forward, reaching out for her.
“You guys have got to see this!”
They both jerked back at Dawn’s exclamation and turned to the doorway in unison.
“What is it?” Buffy asked worriedly.
“Come look!” Dawn cried, gesturing for them to follow her as she disappeared into the hallway.
She gave Spike an apologetic smile and quickly slipped past him in pursuit of her sister. Dawn hadn’t gone far though and she had her face pressed to the small windows in the front door.
“Dawnie, what are you doing?”
“Look!” Dawn called, without taking her eyes from the scene outside.
With a frown – shared with the vampire close behind her – she moved to her sister’s side and peeked through the small window. She did a double-take and stared in wonder at the sight before: finally, after three days, the water was starting to recede.
“Spike!” she called, turning and beckoning him towards them with a bright smile.
He joined them and looked through the window next to her and smiled ever so slightly.
“It’s finally going down!” she cried, “Thank God!”
Dawn, getting louder by the minute in the midst of her excitement, had dashed into the living room to share her enthusiasm with the others, leaving slayer and vampire alone.
“Looks like you’ll have your house to yourself soon,” he murmured, darting a look at her.
“Looks like,” she echoed absentmindedly, flicking her own shy glances at him, every nerve sensitised with him so close.
“Isn’t it great?!” Willow exclaimed, bounding over to them and breaking the heated moment between them.
“It is,” Buffy agreed, turning to her friend and trying to calm her racing heartbeat.
“I can’t wait to get out!”
Willow soon disappeared back into the living room and the two followed her somewhat reluctantly, knowing that now was not the time for private conversations. Several pairs of eyes watched the ever-dropping water level in anxious anticipation and Dawn gave them a status update every few minutes.
“It’s halfway down the garden now!”
“I can see that kid over the road’s bike now!”
“It’s almost at the street now!”
Finally, no-one seemed to be able to bear it much longer and by some tacit agreement, they were all on their feet and heading for the door simultaneously. They bundled through the door and some bounded down onto the wet lawn, looking in wonder at the dwindling floodwaters.
Buffy hung back in the shade of the porch with the vampire, watching the excitement on her friends’ faces with a half-smile. Dawn turned and grinned at her and she smiled back widely, her sister’s joy infecting her.
“I never thought I’d be so happy to see my garden again,” she commented and Spike chuckled beside her.
“M’even happy to see that sun again.”
She turned towards him and they shared a soft smile.
“Just stay back. Wouldn’t want you burning up into a crisp.”
“No?” he whispered, eyes burning into her.
“No,” she answered softly, caught up in his gaze once again.
“I have to get to the shop!”
Anya’s sudden exclamation was quickly followed by her barging past them into the house and stunning them out of another heated moment. The others soon followed and slayer and vampire were caught up in a flurry of movement as a trip to the shop was planned. Anya, eager to survey the damage to her precious shop, was ready before anyone else and hurried Xander along as he got ready.
“It’s not like it’ll be washed away, Ahn,” he soothed – but in vain, as Anya scowled at him and hurried him along even more.
“The sooner I get there, the sooner I can clean up and get it open again.”
No-one decided to point out to Anya that people might not be so desperate to buy magical supplies after a huge flood and she continued to order Xander around. Finally, the group was ready to go – the delight of being able to go outside evident in everyone’s face – and they gathered by the door, looking out on the wet but no longer submerged lawn.
“Let’s go!” Anya encouraged and the group went to move.
With one quick look, Buffy hung back and seeing this, Xander drew to a stop, waiting for the others to leave before he turned to her with a smile that was just short of sly.
“I should stay,” Buffy spoke up, not daring to look at Spike, “You know, it’s sunny and all and someone should stay with Spike.”
“Oh, definitely,” Xander replied, struggling to suppress his smile, “Anyway, there will be too many people at the shop already and it’ll just make Anya mad.”
“Yeah. I mean, we wouldn’t want to be in your way.”
“No. So you just relax.”
“Yeah,” she got out, throwing a quick glance at the silent vampire and turning back to her friend.
“Well, I better get going,” Xander announced, “Have a good day and we’ll see you later.”
He gave her a pointed look and then smiled widely and bounded out of the door. Buffy stepped forward to shut it behind him and then stopped, not having any idea what she was going to do now.
“Buffy.”
Just the sound of her name in his low, husky voice made every nerve tingle and she tensed, turning towards him slowly, one steadying hand against the door. She turned to find him only a few inches away and her breath hitched as he looked down at her with dark, hungry eyes. A moment later, he was kissing her and she was lost.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She wasn’t entirely sure how they had ended up sprawled on the sofa but she let out a low, contented sigh and curled up to him, pulling the duvet closer around them. He brushed a hand over her hair and let out his own sigh of content.
“That was mind-blowing,” she murmured lazily and he chuckled, the vibrations passing through her.
“Glad I could be of service.”
“Oh, very very good service,” she mumbled, tilting her head and finding his mouth with hers, kissing him hungrily. He cradled her face, holding her close as he kissed her back, his other arm wrapped around her back tightly, holding her on the sofa. He pulled back to look at her and brushed a hand over her cheek.
“You’re so bloody beautiful.”
“You’re biased,” she whispered shyly and he laughed, pulling her against him and pressing a kiss to her hair.
“Doesn’t matter. Always knew you were beautiful.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you were thinking that when you were trying to kill me.”
His silence had her turning and staring at him in surprise.
“You’re lying.”
He smiled softly, but it quickly turned lascivious as he brushed a hand over her bare shoulder.
“Sure made fighting you interesting. Loved watching the things you could do with that hot little body.”
He curled his tongue behind his teeth and she felt a rush of warmth between her legs that brightened his eyes even more.
“Always got me hot, fighting you.”
“I don’t know whether to be creeped out or flattered,” she whispered with a shaky smile as he leant in close, piercing blue eyes fixed on hers. He only smiled and dipped his head to kiss her gently.
When he pulled back, she settled against his chest and closed her eyes, breathing in his scent and enjoying this treasured peace. She had a feeling Xander would delay her friends’ return as much as possible and she planned to make the most of their absence. If only she had the bravery to reveal what lay in her heart. Every time she thought she might try, she tensed up and couldn’t go through with it. She was almost afraid to bring some new element to the uncertain foundations of this new, closer relationship. And Spike had so many wonderful ways of distracting her that over an hour passed without her getting her chance.
When her stomach started to rumble though, she forced herself away from the comfort of his arms and dragged him with her through to the kitchen. Dressed in nothing but his shirt, she tiptoed around, searching for something to eat as he watched her with a hungry, almost predatory gaze. She couldn’t ignore him for long – especially with his deliciously sinful appearance: wearing nothing but a low-slung pair of jeans and a smirk, he was a sight to behold. There was something else too, something so relaxed, so contented about him that it made her smile even as the sight of him heated her blood. Abandoning her plan for food, she moved towards him and hooked her fingers in his belt loops, leaning into him and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
She pulled back with a smile, basking in the way his eyes seemed to worship her. He drew her close again and wrapped his arms around her and she gladly slid her arms around his waist, holding onto him tightly.
“Love you so much,” he murmured into her hair, his voice choked – as if he couldn’t bear not to say it.
“I know you do,” she whispered back, her chest tightening with emotion.
Taking a deep breath and summoning every bit of courage she had ever possessed, she finally took the plunge.
“And I love you too.”
The silence seemed to surround her for long moments after her whispered confession and if not for his sudden tensing, she might have thought he hadn’t heard her. After long seconds, he pulled back, hands trembling ever so slightly as they fastened around her arms. He studied her face for a long time, eyes searching for an answer and then he spoke.
“What did you say?” he got out in disbelief.
“I said… I… I love you.”
He was stunned into silence once more and it made her grow even more uncertain. Finally, she couldn’t bear it any longer and she turned away from him.
“So, I thought for lunch-“
“Buffy.”
He cut her off and caught her by the arms, holding her still. His hand came to her chin and he guided her hesitant gaze to his.
“Do you mean it?” he whispered desperately.
The lump in her throat made it impossible to answer but she nodded jerkily and he raised a shaking hand to her face, tracing his fingers over her skin.
“Say it again,” he pleaded, his eyes never leaving hers.
“I… I love you.”
Somehow, it was even easier to say this time round and she even managed a shaky smile.
“You love me,” he whispered in disbelief and his utter loss for words spurred her on. She reached up and pressed her hand to his cheek.
“I love you.”
She leant up and kissed him softly but their kiss quickly grew hungry and she succumbed to him completely, her heart singing with joy as she repeated her love in hushed whispers over and over again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She woke early and jumped a little when she became aware of the arm still tightly wrapped around her waist. Her heart thumped a little harder and she let herself enjoy Spike’s embrace for a few minutes longer before the call of nature had her wriggling out of his arms. He let out a little disappointed moan in his sleep and rolled onto his back and she smiled warmly down at him, surprised by the sudden burst of feeling that looking at him sent through her.
She quickly sneaked up to the bathroom and when she had finished, she crept out into the hallway and almost collided with Xander.
“Xander!” she got out in a loud whisper.
“Sorry. My bad.”
They fell silent and she bit her lip, eyes falling to the floor. Xander stepped forward a moment later and she looked up at him quickly.
“How about we get some breakfast?” he suggested quietly and it took her a minute to conquer her surprise and agree. He smiled and gestured for her to precede him down the stairs and she did so almost in a daze.
In all honesty, she was amazed that her friend was still talking to her. He had never been quiet about his feelings towards Spike and she was just waiting for the inevitable eruption. He settled on a stool and she watched him, wondering miserably how long he would draw this out.
“So, how are you this morning, Buff?” he asked pleasantly and she slid onto a stool opposite him, sure this had to be some sort of trick.
“Okay,” she answered and then decided to risk a little honesty, “Still embarrassed.”
Instead of the eruption she had expected, she received only a small smile and she stared at her friend in bewilderment. He dropped his eyes to the counter for a short second and then raised his honest, open gaze to her.
“You know, I’m the first to admit that I’m totally guilty of misjudgement. And I’m sorry. But I just wanted to tell you… Spike’s a… he’s a great guy.”
Her eyes went impossibly wide at her friend’s words and she could make no sensible reply to him.
“You what?” she choked out after a long pause.
“I know I was always getting at him before… but even I have to admit that he’s different now. He was different as soon as…”
He trailed off, pain flashing through his expression and she took a deep, calming breath.
“I mean, the guy was… he was broken,” he got out in wonder, “Totally broken.”
“He was?” she whispered.
“Yeah. I didn’t want to see it at first… but even I’m not that blind,” he joked with a wry smile and she smiled back halfheartedly.
He reached out then and placed a hand over hers.
“I know I’ve been the most outspoken against the guy in the past but I want you to know that I just want you to be happy. And, I guess, I just wanted to tell you that I, at least, am okay with this.”
She said nothing for a long time and then she gave a choked laugh.
“Are you? That makes one of us.”
She slumped against the counter and smiled at her friend as he gave her a worried look.
“Did he do something?”
“No, no,” she reassured her friend, “I just… I’m totally confused. And you saying all this stuff just made me feel even more confused.”
She gave him a sheepish smile and he laughed softly, before turning seriously.
“Let me ask you a hard question then… What do you feel for him?”
She paused before answering, trying to analyse these feelings burning deep inside her.
“I don’t know. I know that I really like spending time with him… that he makes me feel… safe. But I…”
She trailed off and then took a deep breath, preparing herself for an act of bravery.
“You wanna know the truth?” she asked her friend.
“Sure.”
“I think I might be in love with him,” she admitted quietly.
Xander was quiet for a moment but then he smiled and covered her hand with his once again.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I’m just so… I haven’t felt like this in so long, Xander. It scares me.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of. And this comes from a man of great experience. Getting married, you know.”
She smiled warmly at her friend and he squeezed her hand, giving her a grin in reply.
“Look, Buffy, I think there’s someone else you should be telling this to.”
“Oh no!” she got out, eyes going wide with panic, “I can’t tell him.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t. What if he doesn’t believe me? Or what if he doesn’t feel that way anymore?”
“Buff, do I have to remind you of that little episode in the bathroom last night?”
She flushed bright red and her friend smiled again, squeezing her hand.
“He loves you,” he said softly, “Doesn’t that make it worth taking a leap of faith?”
She was silent for a short pause and then she smiled softly.
“You know, I think everyone really grew up this summer,” she joked.
“We had to.”
She nodded and swallowed hard before squeezing her friend’s hand in hers.
“Thank you.”
“So, you’re going to tell him?”
“I… I guess so.”
Xander smiled widely and she couldn’t help but smile back. Pushing herself to her feet, she moved around the counter and hugged him tightly.
“You really are a great friend.”
“Well, I know,” he answered with a laugh.
“Interrupting something?”
She spun out of Xander’s hug and met Spike’s gaze, barely noticing her friend’s quick exit from the kitchen – too lost in the blue of his eyes.
“Morning,” she finally choked out.
“Morning.”
“It’s still raining,” she got out almost mechanically.
“I noticed. Water looks to be going down though.”
“Yeah.”
Their awkward conversation finished, they fell silent and she looked around the kitchen nervously, unable to meet his eyes any longer. She could hear Xander’s words echoing around her head and could hear Spike’s own declarations of love mixed in with them.
“Breakfast?” she asked.
“Sure.”
Taking the coward’s way out, she threw herself into making breakfast and kept the talking to a minimum.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander seemed to have taken it upon himself to play matchmaker and every time she caught his gaze that morning, he would look at Spike and then give her a pointed look. Despite this encouragement though, she had absolutely no courage when it came to the possibility of opening up her heart. She would look at Spike and would feel that gush of feeling inside her, but she could not bring herself to pull him aside and tell him.
It didn’t help that Xander wasn’t the only one watching them: she could see her friends – and Dawn – watching every little move they made and it was making her even more nervous. She needed to get away and so she soon escaped to the relative quiet of the kitchen for a few moments.
True to form though, Spike soon joined her, hovering behind her and setting every hair on end.
“You alright?” he murmured, his soft voice sending a little shiver through her.
She turned round to face him quickly and forced a wide smile.
“I’m good. You?”
“I’m fine,” he answered slightly bemusedly, watching her with a gentle smile that didn’t do anything to ease the butterflies in her stomach.
“Look, Buffy,” he started quietly, eyes darting to the door and back to her before he took a step forward, “We need to talk.”
“We do?” she asked nervously, swallowing past the lump in her throat.
“You know we do,” he replied with a tiny smile.
“I do?” she got out, unsure what she was saying, distracted by the way he was looking at her. He smiled affectionately and took another step forward, reaching out for her.
“You guys have got to see this!”
They both jerked back at Dawn’s exclamation and turned to the doorway in unison.
“What is it?” Buffy asked worriedly.
“Come look!” Dawn cried, gesturing for them to follow her as she disappeared into the hallway.
She gave Spike an apologetic smile and quickly slipped past him in pursuit of her sister. Dawn hadn’t gone far though and she had her face pressed to the small windows in the front door.
“Dawnie, what are you doing?”
“Look!” Dawn called, without taking her eyes from the scene outside.
With a frown – shared with the vampire close behind her – she moved to her sister’s side and peeked through the small window. She did a double-take and stared in wonder at the sight before: finally, after three days, the water was starting to recede.
“Spike!” she called, turning and beckoning him towards them with a bright smile.
He joined them and looked through the window next to her and smiled ever so slightly.
“It’s finally going down!” she cried, “Thank God!”
Dawn, getting louder by the minute in the midst of her excitement, had dashed into the living room to share her enthusiasm with the others, leaving slayer and vampire alone.
“Looks like you’ll have your house to yourself soon,” he murmured, darting a look at her.
“Looks like,” she echoed absentmindedly, flicking her own shy glances at him, every nerve sensitised with him so close.
“Isn’t it great?!” Willow exclaimed, bounding over to them and breaking the heated moment between them.
“It is,” Buffy agreed, turning to her friend and trying to calm her racing heartbeat.
“I can’t wait to get out!”
Willow soon disappeared back into the living room and the two followed her somewhat reluctantly, knowing that now was not the time for private conversations. Several pairs of eyes watched the ever-dropping water level in anxious anticipation and Dawn gave them a status update every few minutes.
“It’s halfway down the garden now!”
“I can see that kid over the road’s bike now!”
“It’s almost at the street now!”
Finally, no-one seemed to be able to bear it much longer and by some tacit agreement, they were all on their feet and heading for the door simultaneously. They bundled through the door and some bounded down onto the wet lawn, looking in wonder at the dwindling floodwaters.
Buffy hung back in the shade of the porch with the vampire, watching the excitement on her friends’ faces with a half-smile. Dawn turned and grinned at her and she smiled back widely, her sister’s joy infecting her.
“I never thought I’d be so happy to see my garden again,” she commented and Spike chuckled beside her.
“M’even happy to see that sun again.”
She turned towards him and they shared a soft smile.
“Just stay back. Wouldn’t want you burning up into a crisp.”
“No?” he whispered, eyes burning into her.
“No,” she answered softly, caught up in his gaze once again.
“I have to get to the shop!”
Anya’s sudden exclamation was quickly followed by her barging past them into the house and stunning them out of another heated moment. The others soon followed and slayer and vampire were caught up in a flurry of movement as a trip to the shop was planned. Anya, eager to survey the damage to her precious shop, was ready before anyone else and hurried Xander along as he got ready.
“It’s not like it’ll be washed away, Ahn,” he soothed – but in vain, as Anya scowled at him and hurried him along even more.
“The sooner I get there, the sooner I can clean up and get it open again.”
No-one decided to point out to Anya that people might not be so desperate to buy magical supplies after a huge flood and she continued to order Xander around. Finally, the group was ready to go – the delight of being able to go outside evident in everyone’s face – and they gathered by the door, looking out on the wet but no longer submerged lawn.
“Let’s go!” Anya encouraged and the group went to move.
With one quick look, Buffy hung back and seeing this, Xander drew to a stop, waiting for the others to leave before he turned to her with a smile that was just short of sly.
“I should stay,” Buffy spoke up, not daring to look at Spike, “You know, it’s sunny and all and someone should stay with Spike.”
“Oh, definitely,” Xander replied, struggling to suppress his smile, “Anyway, there will be too many people at the shop already and it’ll just make Anya mad.”
“Yeah. I mean, we wouldn’t want to be in your way.”
“No. So you just relax.”
“Yeah,” she got out, throwing a quick glance at the silent vampire and turning back to her friend.
“Well, I better get going,” Xander announced, “Have a good day and we’ll see you later.”
He gave her a pointed look and then smiled widely and bounded out of the door. Buffy stepped forward to shut it behind him and then stopped, not having any idea what she was going to do now.
“Buffy.”
Just the sound of her name in his low, husky voice made every nerve tingle and she tensed, turning towards him slowly, one steadying hand against the door. She turned to find him only a few inches away and her breath hitched as he looked down at her with dark, hungry eyes. A moment later, he was kissing her and she was lost.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She wasn’t entirely sure how they had ended up sprawled on the sofa but she let out a low, contented sigh and curled up to him, pulling the duvet closer around them. He brushed a hand over her hair and let out his own sigh of content.
“That was mind-blowing,” she murmured lazily and he chuckled, the vibrations passing through her.
“Glad I could be of service.”
“Oh, very very good service,” she mumbled, tilting her head and finding his mouth with hers, kissing him hungrily. He cradled her face, holding her close as he kissed her back, his other arm wrapped around her back tightly, holding her on the sofa. He pulled back to look at her and brushed a hand over her cheek.
“You’re so bloody beautiful.”
“You’re biased,” she whispered shyly and he laughed, pulling her against him and pressing a kiss to her hair.
“Doesn’t matter. Always knew you were beautiful.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you were thinking that when you were trying to kill me.”
His silence had her turning and staring at him in surprise.
“You’re lying.”
He smiled softly, but it quickly turned lascivious as he brushed a hand over her bare shoulder.
“Sure made fighting you interesting. Loved watching the things you could do with that hot little body.”
He curled his tongue behind his teeth and she felt a rush of warmth between her legs that brightened his eyes even more.
“Always got me hot, fighting you.”
“I don’t know whether to be creeped out or flattered,” she whispered with a shaky smile as he leant in close, piercing blue eyes fixed on hers. He only smiled and dipped his head to kiss her gently.
When he pulled back, she settled against his chest and closed her eyes, breathing in his scent and enjoying this treasured peace. She had a feeling Xander would delay her friends’ return as much as possible and she planned to make the most of their absence. If only she had the bravery to reveal what lay in her heart. Every time she thought she might try, she tensed up and couldn’t go through with it. She was almost afraid to bring some new element to the uncertain foundations of this new, closer relationship. And Spike had so many wonderful ways of distracting her that over an hour passed without her getting her chance.
When her stomach started to rumble though, she forced herself away from the comfort of his arms and dragged him with her through to the kitchen. Dressed in nothing but his shirt, she tiptoed around, searching for something to eat as he watched her with a hungry, almost predatory gaze. She couldn’t ignore him for long – especially with his deliciously sinful appearance: wearing nothing but a low-slung pair of jeans and a smirk, he was a sight to behold. There was something else too, something so relaxed, so contented about him that it made her smile even as the sight of him heated her blood. Abandoning her plan for food, she moved towards him and hooked her fingers in his belt loops, leaning into him and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
She pulled back with a smile, basking in the way his eyes seemed to worship her. He drew her close again and wrapped his arms around her and she gladly slid her arms around his waist, holding onto him tightly.
“Love you so much,” he murmured into her hair, his voice choked – as if he couldn’t bear not to say it.
“I know you do,” she whispered back, her chest tightening with emotion.
Taking a deep breath and summoning every bit of courage she had ever possessed, she finally took the plunge.
“And I love you too.”
The silence seemed to surround her for long moments after her whispered confession and if not for his sudden tensing, she might have thought he hadn’t heard her. After long seconds, he pulled back, hands trembling ever so slightly as they fastened around her arms. He studied her face for a long time, eyes searching for an answer and then he spoke.
“What did you say?” he got out in disbelief.
“I said… I… I love you.”
He was stunned into silence once more and it made her grow even more uncertain. Finally, she couldn’t bear it any longer and she turned away from him.
“So, I thought for lunch-“
“Buffy.”
He cut her off and caught her by the arms, holding her still. His hand came to her chin and he guided her hesitant gaze to his.
“Do you mean it?” he whispered desperately.
The lump in her throat made it impossible to answer but she nodded jerkily and he raised a shaking hand to her face, tracing his fingers over her skin.
“Say it again,” he pleaded, his eyes never leaving hers.
“I… I love you.”
Somehow, it was even easier to say this time round and she even managed a shaky smile.
“You love me,” he whispered in disbelief and his utter loss for words spurred her on. She reached up and pressed her hand to his cheek.
“I love you.”
She leant up and kissed him softly but their kiss quickly grew hungry and she succumbed to him completely, her heart singing with joy as she repeated her love in hushed whispers over and over again.
Day Three (Part Two)
Day Three (Part Two)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She couldn’t remember ever feeling so at ease with someone else, so comfortable sharing all her thoughts and feelings. Curled up with Spike on her sofa though, she realised she had found a haven. It felt so natural to just sit and talk, voices low, sharing the odd caress – neither quite able to keep from touching the other. This was what had brought them so close though, she knew that: without his patience and his understanding and his simple ability to listen, she would still be suffering through every day.
Thanks to him though, there was some ray of hope in the darkness of her fears. She only wished she had the strength to share her pain with her friends, who loved her so much they had brought her back to this world without hesitation.
“I know I should tell them,” she whispered, head tucked under Spike’s chin as she fiddled with the fabric of his T-shirt nervously, “I want to tell them. But I don’t know if I can.”
“You’re worried about hurting them.”
“Yes,” she breathed with a sigh, moving into the gentle stroke of his hand, “I don’t think I could bear it. Maybe… maybe I should just try to forget it… move on.”
“You’re never going to move on properly unless you tell them,” Spike murmured, coaxing her gaze to his, “They have a right to know. They should know that they did wrong by you.”
She frowned at his choice of words but she knew he was right.
“You really don’t like what they did.”
“I like the end result,” he answered sincerely, “How could I not? Having you back Buffy…”
His voice grew husky and he cut himself off, clearing his throat before he continued.
“But they were selfish… and reckless… and I could wring the witch’s bloody neck… Thinking you were in Hell… you, of all people.”
They fell silent after that and she tucked her head under his chin, wrapping her arms around him tightly, as if she might absorb the pain he was so obviously feeling.
“You can’t imagine what I went through, Buffy,” he whispered into her hair, “I hated myself for not saving you.”
He took a sharp breath and held her tighter, his voice trembling as he continued.
“I knew I had to make my peace with what happened… but whenever I closed my eyes, all I could see was you… how peaceful you looked after…”
He locked his arms around her even tighter and she clung to him just as tightly, her heart torn at the pain in his voice.
“I don’t know what god brought you to me but I… God, I never thought I might get this close to you.”
She pulled back to look at him and touched her fingers to his jaw, amazed at the strength of the emotions in his eyes.
“Sure you did,” she whispered with a smile to lighten the mood, “Didn’t you always tell me there was something between us?”
“Wishful thinking.”
“Or you saw what I was too afraid to,” she admitted, running her thumb along his jaw line, “You always have done… and it’s really annoying sometimes.”
She smiled widely and he chuckled, running his hand down her arm in a soft caress.
“What can I do to make it up to you?” he purred.
She smiled coquettishly and, as if reading her thoughts, he tackled her to the sofa a moment later, pinning her to the cushions and looking down at her with hungry eyes. His expression softened seconds later though and he seemed to be drinking in every line of her, setting her alight with his gaze, making her squirm uncomfortably under him.
“Are you going to stare all day or are you going to get to the kissing?” she prompted sulkily and he smiled widely, eyes bright with amusement.
“I could do both quite easily.”
She frowned and managed to wriggle one arm free of his grip, reaching up and grabbing the back of his neck to force his mouth to hers. He groaned against her mouth and soon set about kissing her thoroughly, his tongue teasing hers and making her squirm even more. She hooked a leg around his and held him close, running her free hand over his back, slipping her hand under his T-shirt and tracing every contour.
He broke away from her and his mouth fell to her neck, teeth scraping her skin and causing her to let out a small moan. She could almost feel his smile against her and she twined her hand in his hair, tugging his mouth back to hers and kissing him passionately.
Faint sounds in the background now grew more prominent and with the same quick reactions, they parted, sat up, and straightened their clothes only seconds before the door burst open and Dawn, Willow and Tara came in, voices bubbling in conversation. They rounded the doorway a moment later and stopped as they spotted the pair.
“Hey guys!” Buffy called out with forced cheer, subtly straightening her skirt as she sat up a bit straighter. They greeted her back but she could see their curious looks passing between her and the vampire and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She jumped to her feet and moved towards them, hoping to distract them.
“So, how was the shop? I guess you want some dinner? Let’s do dinner.”
It was only as she turned to head for the kitchen that she realised they were looking at her strangely and she came to an abrupt halt.
“What?” she got out uncertainly.
The three girls shared a look and then Willow met her gaze, blushing ever so slightly – but at the same time, the hint of a smile playing about her lips.
“Your, um, your top’s inside out.”
Mortified, she quickly excused herself and dashed upstairs to her room to rectify the problem. When she dared to show her face again, all four were happily watching the television and she slipped onto the sofa between her sister and Spike, her face flushed red.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The day passed quickly after that and before she knew it, it was sunset and she could see Spike fidgeting, anxious for his freedom. When he caught her eye though, he stilled and smiled softly, seemingly content. A moment later though, she saw him bouncing his leg and she knew she would have to prompt him to leave, much as she wished he could stay.
“I wonder how your crypt’s holding up,” she spoke up, drawing his attention along with the attention of the others.
“I’m not sure. It might have been alright.”
He paused for a second but then he continued, eyes on hers.
“Guess I should really get going and check it out.”
“Yeah,” she answered hesitantly, “I guess you should.”
A minute of silence passed and then he forced himself to his feet.
“Well, it was nice and all…” he started, turning to the others.
She jumped to her feet then, surprising them, and he turned his bright gaze on her, making her stall for just a moment.
“Maybe I should come with you,” she suggested, unable to look at her friends in embarrassment, “I mean, you might need some help… and there might be demons.”
She heard a distinctly Dawn-sounding snicker and her eyes flew to her sister, who was struggling to hold back her laughter.
“Dawnie,” she hissed.
It was no good and Dawn burst out laughing an instant later.
“You guys are too funny!” she exclaimed, “Why don’t you just say you want some alone time?”
“Dawn!”
“Oh, come on. I may be fourteen but I’m not stupid. It’s pretty obvious to everyone what’s going on.”
“And what is that?” she countered, folding her arms across her chest as she stared down at her sister.
“You’re totally doing it with Spike,” Dawn answered nonchalantly.
For once, she did not blush and she glanced at the silent vampire before turning back to her sister, some of her defensiveness softening into amusement.
“I’m not,” she said calmly, holding up a hand when her sister went to protest, “I’m not just doing it with Spike.”
She turned to him and smiled warmly, her heat beating faster at the love in his eyes.
“I’m with Spike. I’m… I’m in love with Spike.”
She barely heard her sister’s whispered ‘wow’ – too caught up in the look of awe on Spike’s face, on the way his eyes lit up like she had never seen before. It only struck her now just how much it might mean to him to hear his feelings were returned – and in front of her friends.
“I’m really happy for you, Buffy… and Spike.”
Tara’s hesitant voice drew her out of her daze and she quickly turned to give the witch a grateful smile.
“Thank you.”
When she spotted a warm smile on her oldest friend’s face, she smiled widely and let out a little sigh of relief. She turned back to Spike and then quickly moved to his side, reaching out and linking her fingers through his.
“We come as a pair now,” she murmured – more for his ears than anyone else’s – and squeezed his hand in hers.
“Okay, if you guys are going to be all soppy can you go somewhere else and do it,” Dawn remarked, making a gagging gesture.
“Sounds like a plan,” Buffy joked, sending the vampire a soft smile before turning and grinning at her sister. “I guess I really should patrol…”
“Oh, please,” Dawn got out, “As if you’re going to get any patrolling done.”
She just smiled widely at her sister and gripped Spike’s hand even tighter in hers.
“Ready to go?” she asked him quietly.
“Always,” he murmured with a smirk and she rolled her eyes affectionately before turning to her friends to ensure that they would keep an eye on her sister.
Finally, with Dawn making remarks behind them (although none filtered through to their consciousness), they left the house hand-in-hand and made their way out into the darkness together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She couldn’t remember ever feeling so at ease with someone else, so comfortable sharing all her thoughts and feelings. Curled up with Spike on her sofa though, she realised she had found a haven. It felt so natural to just sit and talk, voices low, sharing the odd caress – neither quite able to keep from touching the other. This was what had brought them so close though, she knew that: without his patience and his understanding and his simple ability to listen, she would still be suffering through every day.
Thanks to him though, there was some ray of hope in the darkness of her fears. She only wished she had the strength to share her pain with her friends, who loved her so much they had brought her back to this world without hesitation.
“I know I should tell them,” she whispered, head tucked under Spike’s chin as she fiddled with the fabric of his T-shirt nervously, “I want to tell them. But I don’t know if I can.”
“You’re worried about hurting them.”
“Yes,” she breathed with a sigh, moving into the gentle stroke of his hand, “I don’t think I could bear it. Maybe… maybe I should just try to forget it… move on.”
“You’re never going to move on properly unless you tell them,” Spike murmured, coaxing her gaze to his, “They have a right to know. They should know that they did wrong by you.”
She frowned at his choice of words but she knew he was right.
“You really don’t like what they did.”
“I like the end result,” he answered sincerely, “How could I not? Having you back Buffy…”
His voice grew husky and he cut himself off, clearing his throat before he continued.
“But they were selfish… and reckless… and I could wring the witch’s bloody neck… Thinking you were in Hell… you, of all people.”
They fell silent after that and she tucked her head under his chin, wrapping her arms around him tightly, as if she might absorb the pain he was so obviously feeling.
“You can’t imagine what I went through, Buffy,” he whispered into her hair, “I hated myself for not saving you.”
He took a sharp breath and held her tighter, his voice trembling as he continued.
“I knew I had to make my peace with what happened… but whenever I closed my eyes, all I could see was you… how peaceful you looked after…”
He locked his arms around her even tighter and she clung to him just as tightly, her heart torn at the pain in his voice.
“I don’t know what god brought you to me but I… God, I never thought I might get this close to you.”
She pulled back to look at him and touched her fingers to his jaw, amazed at the strength of the emotions in his eyes.
“Sure you did,” she whispered with a smile to lighten the mood, “Didn’t you always tell me there was something between us?”
“Wishful thinking.”
“Or you saw what I was too afraid to,” she admitted, running her thumb along his jaw line, “You always have done… and it’s really annoying sometimes.”
She smiled widely and he chuckled, running his hand down her arm in a soft caress.
“What can I do to make it up to you?” he purred.
She smiled coquettishly and, as if reading her thoughts, he tackled her to the sofa a moment later, pinning her to the cushions and looking down at her with hungry eyes. His expression softened seconds later though and he seemed to be drinking in every line of her, setting her alight with his gaze, making her squirm uncomfortably under him.
“Are you going to stare all day or are you going to get to the kissing?” she prompted sulkily and he smiled widely, eyes bright with amusement.
“I could do both quite easily.”
She frowned and managed to wriggle one arm free of his grip, reaching up and grabbing the back of his neck to force his mouth to hers. He groaned against her mouth and soon set about kissing her thoroughly, his tongue teasing hers and making her squirm even more. She hooked a leg around his and held him close, running her free hand over his back, slipping her hand under his T-shirt and tracing every contour.
He broke away from her and his mouth fell to her neck, teeth scraping her skin and causing her to let out a small moan. She could almost feel his smile against her and she twined her hand in his hair, tugging his mouth back to hers and kissing him passionately.
Faint sounds in the background now grew more prominent and with the same quick reactions, they parted, sat up, and straightened their clothes only seconds before the door burst open and Dawn, Willow and Tara came in, voices bubbling in conversation. They rounded the doorway a moment later and stopped as they spotted the pair.
“Hey guys!” Buffy called out with forced cheer, subtly straightening her skirt as she sat up a bit straighter. They greeted her back but she could see their curious looks passing between her and the vampire and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She jumped to her feet and moved towards them, hoping to distract them.
“So, how was the shop? I guess you want some dinner? Let’s do dinner.”
It was only as she turned to head for the kitchen that she realised they were looking at her strangely and she came to an abrupt halt.
“What?” she got out uncertainly.
The three girls shared a look and then Willow met her gaze, blushing ever so slightly – but at the same time, the hint of a smile playing about her lips.
“Your, um, your top’s inside out.”
Mortified, she quickly excused herself and dashed upstairs to her room to rectify the problem. When she dared to show her face again, all four were happily watching the television and she slipped onto the sofa between her sister and Spike, her face flushed red.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The day passed quickly after that and before she knew it, it was sunset and she could see Spike fidgeting, anxious for his freedom. When he caught her eye though, he stilled and smiled softly, seemingly content. A moment later though, she saw him bouncing his leg and she knew she would have to prompt him to leave, much as she wished he could stay.
“I wonder how your crypt’s holding up,” she spoke up, drawing his attention along with the attention of the others.
“I’m not sure. It might have been alright.”
He paused for a second but then he continued, eyes on hers.
“Guess I should really get going and check it out.”
“Yeah,” she answered hesitantly, “I guess you should.”
A minute of silence passed and then he forced himself to his feet.
“Well, it was nice and all…” he started, turning to the others.
She jumped to her feet then, surprising them, and he turned his bright gaze on her, making her stall for just a moment.
“Maybe I should come with you,” she suggested, unable to look at her friends in embarrassment, “I mean, you might need some help… and there might be demons.”
She heard a distinctly Dawn-sounding snicker and her eyes flew to her sister, who was struggling to hold back her laughter.
“Dawnie,” she hissed.
It was no good and Dawn burst out laughing an instant later.
“You guys are too funny!” she exclaimed, “Why don’t you just say you want some alone time?”
“Dawn!”
“Oh, come on. I may be fourteen but I’m not stupid. It’s pretty obvious to everyone what’s going on.”
“And what is that?” she countered, folding her arms across her chest as she stared down at her sister.
“You’re totally doing it with Spike,” Dawn answered nonchalantly.
For once, she did not blush and she glanced at the silent vampire before turning back to her sister, some of her defensiveness softening into amusement.
“I’m not,” she said calmly, holding up a hand when her sister went to protest, “I’m not just doing it with Spike.”
She turned to him and smiled warmly, her heat beating faster at the love in his eyes.
“I’m with Spike. I’m… I’m in love with Spike.”
She barely heard her sister’s whispered ‘wow’ – too caught up in the look of awe on Spike’s face, on the way his eyes lit up like she had never seen before. It only struck her now just how much it might mean to him to hear his feelings were returned – and in front of her friends.
“I’m really happy for you, Buffy… and Spike.”
Tara’s hesitant voice drew her out of her daze and she quickly turned to give the witch a grateful smile.
“Thank you.”
When she spotted a warm smile on her oldest friend’s face, she smiled widely and let out a little sigh of relief. She turned back to Spike and then quickly moved to his side, reaching out and linking her fingers through his.
“We come as a pair now,” she murmured – more for his ears than anyone else’s – and squeezed his hand in hers.
“Okay, if you guys are going to be all soppy can you go somewhere else and do it,” Dawn remarked, making a gagging gesture.
“Sounds like a plan,” Buffy joked, sending the vampire a soft smile before turning and grinning at her sister. “I guess I really should patrol…”
“Oh, please,” Dawn got out, “As if you’re going to get any patrolling done.”
She just smiled widely at her sister and gripped Spike’s hand even tighter in hers.
“Ready to go?” she asked him quietly.
“Always,” he murmured with a smirk and she rolled her eyes affectionately before turning to her friends to ensure that they would keep an eye on her sister.
Finally, with Dawn making remarks behind them (although none filtered through to their consciousness), they left the house hand-in-hand and made their way out into the darkness together.
Epilogue
Epilogue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You can do this,” she whispered to herself, taking a calming breath.
“You can,” Spike reassured her, stepping closer and resting his hands on her arms, “And I’m right here with you.”
She took a moment to enjoy the comfort of his touch, leaning into him and smiling when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. It had been over a week now and she didn’t think this feeling of elation was ever going to go away.
“Time to be brave,” he murmured and she pulled away reluctantly.
She nodded determinedly and turned towards the door, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. She made her way over to the door and paused for a second at it before opening the door and stepping out into the shop. Her friends looked up at her entrance and smiled or waved in greeting but soon went back to what they were doing and her courage began to disappear.
“M’right here,” Spike murmured, his hand on her arm, supporting her almost.
She turned and gave him a worried glance and then turned back to her friends and swallowed hard. Xander looked up at the moment and frowned when he saw she had barely moved from her position.
“Everything alright, Buff?”
A subtle push from Spike had her in motion and she moved towards the table, stopping in front of her friends – all of them watching her curiously now.
“I wanted to talk to you guys. About the way I’ve been lately. I guess I… I wanted to explain why I haven’t been myself.”
“It’s okay, Buff,” Xander soothed, giving her a crooked smile, “We get it. Readjusting and all that.”
“Yeah,” she murmured uncertainly and sent another glance in Spike’s direction, seeking his silent support. He gave her an encouraging smile when she met his gaze and with another calming breath, she turned back to her friends.
“I have been readjusting, like you said. But not… not quite in the way you think.”
Her friends were all watching her intently now and it took all of the bravery she possessed to continue.
“I… It’s time you knew the truth.”
She sent another quick look in Spike’s direction for reassurance and forced herself onwards.
“I know… you thought I was in a hell dimension being tortured so you brought me back… rescued me…”
She trailed off painfully but forced herself on after only a moment’s pause.
“But… the thing is… you didn’t.”
She heard a tiny gasp and it drew her attention to Willow, whose expression was one of dawning horror – prompting her to continue quickly, to get it all out.
“I wasn’t in Hell,” she got out quietly, “I… I was in Heaven.”
The silence that followed her words was deafening and she bit her trembling lip as her eyes took in the various states of shock and horror exhibited on her friends’ faces. Willow was openly crying and despite her one-time anger at her friend, she could not help feeling bad for the pain she had caused her.
“You didn’t know,” she murmured, attention fixed on Willow, “It… it’s okay.”
Willow raised her tearstained face and met her gaze with one of complete self-hatred.
“Buffy, you…”
Xander couldn’t finish his choked sentence and she turned to him with a painful smile.
“I was in Heaven,” she said softly, “I was… at peace.”
A look at Spike and she forced herself back to her friends.
“That’s why I haven’t been the same. I’m… I’m still trying to figure it all out.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Dawn asked, her voice thick with emotion.
“I know I should have,” she admitted, meeting her sister’s pained gaze, “But I was afraid. And I… I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You should have told us,” Dawn accused, “We… we were always saying how bad things must have been and we were talking rubbish.”
“Dawnie, it’s okay,” she soothed, moving over to her sister and taking her by the arms, “I’m okay.”
“But you were hurting… that’s why you were so miserable.”
She sighed and tucked her sister’s long hair behind her ear, knowing there was no use trying to deny what was true.
“I’m not now,” she said, “I’m learning to live again… to enjoy living.”
Wrapping an arm around Dawn, she turned to address her friends.
“And it’s because of all of you. I don’t know what I would have done without any of you.”
Her eyes fell on Spike and she held his gaze for a long moment, letting him know that this message was for him more than any of the others. For he had been her rock, her confidante when she had despaired of ever feeling human again. And with him by her side, she was returning to something of her old self in leaps and bounds.
She was changed – they all were – but thanks to his constant love, she was feeling more and more normal by the day. She smiled at him softly and finally directed her attention back to her friends. Willow was still weeping silently but she looked up at Buffy and forced herself to her feet. She staggered forward and then hugged Buffy tightly.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
Fighting her own emotions back, she held her friend tightly and nodded jerkily.
“It’s okay.”
Shaking her head in protest, Willow pulled back, her lip quavering as she held back her sobs.
“It was all my fault. I was the one who forced the others to agree… the one who did the spell.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she stated, trying to soothe her friend, “It’s done but it’s in the past and we… we need to move on. I need to move on.”
She stepped back from her friend and took in every beloved face around her.
“It wasn’t easy… isn’t easy… but I’m happy now. And I know I still have something to live for. So I’m… I’m okay.”
With a shaky smile, she moved to perch on the arm of the chair Spike was sitting on, unable to stay away from him for much longer. As soon as she sat down, he wrapped an arm loosely around her back, his touch more comforting than anything else.
“I’m in love,” she continued, with a smile at the vampire beside her, “And I’ve got the best friends in the world. What more could I want?”
She smiled brightly and for the first time in what seemed like ages, she felt a burst of love and emotion so strong it encompassed her – telling her that she really, truly, was alive once more.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So... the challenge....
Post "Life Serial", a bad thunderstorm pounds California, especially Sunnydale. The roads are flooded,and all the Scoobies and Spike are stranded at the Summers house. Spike and Buffy keep sneaking off together to talk, and Buffy ends up realizing she's in love with him.
Requirements:
Dawn, Anya, Willow and Tara notice that Spuffy keep sneaking off.
Buffy and Spike sleep together during one of
their "talks".
Everyone in the house hears them.
Buffy realizes she's in love with Spike after they get caught.
Xander's okay with the relationship.
Dawn tells Spike and Buffy she is traumatized because the "noises" won't go away.
Xander convinces Buffy to admit her feelings to Spike.
Bonuses:
Everyone is stuck in the house for three days.
Warren, Jonathan and Andrew try to attack while Buffy's guard is down, but Warren and Jonathan drown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 out of 9. Not bad for my first ever challenge response, methinks. (And I hope Lynn agrees!!) I hope you enjoyed...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You can do this,” she whispered to herself, taking a calming breath.
“You can,” Spike reassured her, stepping closer and resting his hands on her arms, “And I’m right here with you.”
She took a moment to enjoy the comfort of his touch, leaning into him and smiling when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. It had been over a week now and she didn’t think this feeling of elation was ever going to go away.
“Time to be brave,” he murmured and she pulled away reluctantly.
She nodded determinedly and turned towards the door, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin. She made her way over to the door and paused for a second at it before opening the door and stepping out into the shop. Her friends looked up at her entrance and smiled or waved in greeting but soon went back to what they were doing and her courage began to disappear.
“M’right here,” Spike murmured, his hand on her arm, supporting her almost.
She turned and gave him a worried glance and then turned back to her friends and swallowed hard. Xander looked up at the moment and frowned when he saw she had barely moved from her position.
“Everything alright, Buff?”
A subtle push from Spike had her in motion and she moved towards the table, stopping in front of her friends – all of them watching her curiously now.
“I wanted to talk to you guys. About the way I’ve been lately. I guess I… I wanted to explain why I haven’t been myself.”
“It’s okay, Buff,” Xander soothed, giving her a crooked smile, “We get it. Readjusting and all that.”
“Yeah,” she murmured uncertainly and sent another glance in Spike’s direction, seeking his silent support. He gave her an encouraging smile when she met his gaze and with another calming breath, she turned back to her friends.
“I have been readjusting, like you said. But not… not quite in the way you think.”
Her friends were all watching her intently now and it took all of the bravery she possessed to continue.
“I… It’s time you knew the truth.”
She sent another quick look in Spike’s direction for reassurance and forced herself onwards.
“I know… you thought I was in a hell dimension being tortured so you brought me back… rescued me…”
She trailed off painfully but forced herself on after only a moment’s pause.
“But… the thing is… you didn’t.”
She heard a tiny gasp and it drew her attention to Willow, whose expression was one of dawning horror – prompting her to continue quickly, to get it all out.
“I wasn’t in Hell,” she got out quietly, “I… I was in Heaven.”
The silence that followed her words was deafening and she bit her trembling lip as her eyes took in the various states of shock and horror exhibited on her friends’ faces. Willow was openly crying and despite her one-time anger at her friend, she could not help feeling bad for the pain she had caused her.
“You didn’t know,” she murmured, attention fixed on Willow, “It… it’s okay.”
Willow raised her tearstained face and met her gaze with one of complete self-hatred.
“Buffy, you…”
Xander couldn’t finish his choked sentence and she turned to him with a painful smile.
“I was in Heaven,” she said softly, “I was… at peace.”
A look at Spike and she forced herself back to her friends.
“That’s why I haven’t been the same. I’m… I’m still trying to figure it all out.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Dawn asked, her voice thick with emotion.
“I know I should have,” she admitted, meeting her sister’s pained gaze, “But I was afraid. And I… I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You should have told us,” Dawn accused, “We… we were always saying how bad things must have been and we were talking rubbish.”
“Dawnie, it’s okay,” she soothed, moving over to her sister and taking her by the arms, “I’m okay.”
“But you were hurting… that’s why you were so miserable.”
She sighed and tucked her sister’s long hair behind her ear, knowing there was no use trying to deny what was true.
“I’m not now,” she said, “I’m learning to live again… to enjoy living.”
Wrapping an arm around Dawn, she turned to address her friends.
“And it’s because of all of you. I don’t know what I would have done without any of you.”
Her eyes fell on Spike and she held his gaze for a long moment, letting him know that this message was for him more than any of the others. For he had been her rock, her confidante when she had despaired of ever feeling human again. And with him by her side, she was returning to something of her old self in leaps and bounds.
She was changed – they all were – but thanks to his constant love, she was feeling more and more normal by the day. She smiled at him softly and finally directed her attention back to her friends. Willow was still weeping silently but she looked up at Buffy and forced herself to her feet. She staggered forward and then hugged Buffy tightly.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
Fighting her own emotions back, she held her friend tightly and nodded jerkily.
“It’s okay.”
Shaking her head in protest, Willow pulled back, her lip quavering as she held back her sobs.
“It was all my fault. I was the one who forced the others to agree… the one who did the spell.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she stated, trying to soothe her friend, “It’s done but it’s in the past and we… we need to move on. I need to move on.”
She stepped back from her friend and took in every beloved face around her.
“It wasn’t easy… isn’t easy… but I’m happy now. And I know I still have something to live for. So I’m… I’m okay.”
With a shaky smile, she moved to perch on the arm of the chair Spike was sitting on, unable to stay away from him for much longer. As soon as she sat down, he wrapped an arm loosely around her back, his touch more comforting than anything else.
“I’m in love,” she continued, with a smile at the vampire beside her, “And I’ve got the best friends in the world. What more could I want?”
She smiled brightly and for the first time in what seemed like ages, she felt a burst of love and emotion so strong it encompassed her – telling her that she really, truly, was alive once more.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So... the challenge....
Post "Life Serial", a bad thunderstorm pounds California, especially Sunnydale. The roads are flooded,and all the Scoobies and Spike are stranded at the Summers house. Spike and Buffy keep sneaking off together to talk, and Buffy ends up realizing she's in love with him.
Requirements:
Dawn, Anya, Willow and Tara notice that Spuffy keep sneaking off.
Buffy and Spike sleep together during one of
their "talks".
Everyone in the house hears them.
Buffy realizes she's in love with Spike after they get caught.
Xander's okay with the relationship.
Dawn tells Spike and Buffy she is traumatized because the "noises" won't go away.
Xander convinces Buffy to admit her feelings to Spike.
Bonuses:
Everyone is stuck in the house for three days.
Warren, Jonathan and Andrew try to attack while Buffy's guard is down, but Warren and Jonathan drown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8 out of 9. Not bad for my first ever challenge response, methinks. (And I hope Lynn agrees!!) I hope you enjoyed...
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