Chapter 21

“I shouldn’t have let you out of our place like that. Just because Little Miss Slutty Slayer wears trashy costumes, that doesn’t mean that you’ve got to suffer from her lack of fashion sense. You’re freezing, Buffy.”

“I’m not that cold…”

“No, you’re just covered with goose bumps. You don’t think that I can hear your teeth chattering?” Before the first shiver had its chance to shake Buffy’s body, Spike stepped forward to drape his coat over her bare shoulders. “Wear this for now, but I want it back before the swap. That Faith isn’t taking my leather home as some bleeding parting gift.”

“I’m not even in my body and you still think that you know me so well. You can be so smug, honey,” Buffy teased, snuggling deeper into the jacket. “The only thing that Faith will be taking home is a doggie bag full of kick ass.”

“Is that right?” he smirked, kneeling to button the coat once she put her arms through its sleeves. “Be still while I bundle you up, baby.”

“Hey, that’s my nickname for you.”

“Silly me, I didn’t know that only you had the right to it, especially since I’ve called Dru ‘baby’ for decades now, years and years before you even took your first breath.”

“Shut up, Spike,” Buffy sang with a little grin. “You know, mom used to help me put on my jackets all the time. I had this problem in the zipper department growing up.”

“I can imagine why. Zippers can be tricky, mean little buggers. I’ve gotten my fingers stuck in their teeth more than once.”

“Ow, that has to hurt.”

“It does, like hell. That’s why I prefer buttons.” Standing up straight, he took her hand for a second time and they resumed their walk.

“I wish we didn’t have to come down here. I hate the sewers.”

“We won’t be long. It’s a shortcut and it’s safe. I’d take a few gutter rats over the sodding Sunnydale PD any day. They’re really trying to sniff you out, pet. Did I tell you that I saw helicopters circling our cemetery?”

“Helicopters, for me? Gosh, I must be dangerous,” Buffy laughed. “Is there a reward out for my arrest yet?”

“I haven’t heard, but if the price is nice and high, I’ll be sure to turn you in. I could use the extra cash.”

“Yeah right. You’d miss me too much. You’d get tired of talking only to Mr. Kitty—which, which speaking of Mr. Kitty, I love his new collar, Spike.”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t the foggiest clue to what you’re yammering about.”

“It’s adorable.”

“Bite your tongue.”

“You’re adorable.”

“Shut it, missy.”

“And very sweet.”

“Buffy.”

“Yes, baby?” When he answered with only an annoyed glare, she burst into laughter. “God, this has to be the best time that I’ve ever had underground. Not that it takes much to surpass my premature death and a very painful breakup…”

“You—wait, Angel dumped you in the tunnels?”

“We passed the exact spot a few feet back,” Buffy said, pointing over her shoulder. “It was just before the senior prom. There’s nothing like getting the ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ speech inches away from a septic tank and then realizing that you’re dateless for one of life’s biggest milestones.”

“Bloody hell…”

“You can say that again.”

“That guy. Once a wanker always a wanker, I say. I should’ve chopped that bugger’s head off long ago. I could of—you know that, right? You see, it was after the Boxer Rebellion. I had just drained my first Slayer and, needless to say it, inflated my ego just a tad. So, we got into one of our usual spats over Dru. Fists and fangs were flying every which way and somehow I got my hands on this tiny dagger with a dull blade, right? I’ve got Angelus in a chokehold and I start slicing away--.”

“Stop!” Buffy shrieked, covering her ears with her hands. “That’s enough! Don’t say any more!”

“Oh, come on, don’t interrupt. I was getting to the best part.”

“You’re talking about carving up my ex, who I loved very much and--.”

“Blah, blah, bloody blah. You were under his spell, Slayer. That wide, never-ending forehead of his threw you for a loop, that’s all. It clouded your judgment.”

“It wasn’t his forehead that made me loopy, Spike. In fact,” Buffy chewed her lower lip, thinking of the best reply, “it was his taut muscles, soft lips, stylish hair, and oh my God, have you seen that sexy tattoo on his back? Hell, just to see him naked...”

“That’s it. Give me my jacket. You deserve a good freezing.”

“No!” Buffy squealed, giggling as he grabbed at her. “Leave me alone!”

“Never.” He pressed her against the nearest wall, his hands holding her wrists and a knee wedged between her legs. “You know, I didn’t think Faith was so bad when I first met her.”

“Oh, please.”

“Don’t roll your eyes. She had this fieriness—this hotness to her. And from what I’m gathering, with her hot leather pants, nice right cross and holier-than-thou glower, if she weren’t completely off her rocker, she’d be a damn good catch.”

Buffy’s frown grew deeper as Spike looked up and down Faith’s body, his gaze igniting the burn of her jealousy. “A right good catch indeed,” he drawled, sounding impressed. “Nearly impossible to pass up…”

“Spike, you are not being cute or funny or anything else and by saying these things, it’ll get you nowhere, but sleeping in one very empty bed tonight. I’ll get my body back and I’ll take it to mom’s house--.“

“But you should’ve heard the nasties that she whispered into my ear.” Keeping his lips slightly parted, he ran a curled finger across her cheek. “She wanted to ride me to a gallop, Buffy.”

“What?!”

“She promised that my knees would buckle and that my eyes, well, they’d roll to the back of my head, but that’d be once I popped like warm champagne.”

“She—what else did Faith tell you?” Buffy demanded, struggling in Spike’s grasp. Suddenly she was so mad and disgusted that she found it difficult to speak with the tightness that gathered at her throat.

“She ruffles your feathers, doesn’t she?” Spike purred. “You hate her so much that you can’t see straight. You hate Faith like I hate Angelus.”

“Well, yeah! Haven’t you been listening to me? She tried to take Angel away from me, she’s stolen my body and now—how dare she talk to my boyfriend like that?!”

Grunting to voice her anger, she tossed and turned her body from side to side. “Let go. I need to kill her. I mean it, Spike, I don’t want to hurt you, but…”

“Funny, somehow I don’t fancy getting hurt myself.” Spike pulled back and at the same moment, Buffy took off in full speed. “Buffy—hey!”

Rolling his eyes and whispering a line of colorful expletives, Spike ran after the dark blur as she charged through the dank tunnels.

“Wait for me,” he growled, catching up to Buffy as she leaped onto the ladder that led aboveground. “You can kill her. I won’t stop you. Just…”

“Let me go!” Buffy squirmed as Spike plucked her from the ladder and twirled her so she was forced to look at him.

“Just wait for me. Besides, I have more to tell you--.”

“God, how can there be more?! What else do you have to throw into my face? Faith talks so, so dirty, so much more than naive little Buffy, who couldn’t even do phone sex right.”

“What?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play stupid with me.”

“I remember, but—I wasn’t praising her. You brought up Angel’s taut...naked,” he swallowed, unable to finish. “You said those things just to bother me, so I decided to turn the tables.”

“So she didn’t say those things? Did you make all that up?”

“She said every word…”

“So what, you took notes?”

“Buffy...”

“It’s like you know every vile word that she said by heart, Spike.”

“She said some memorable things, alright? But that’s all it was: talk. She was playing with me. She knew that I had feelings for you and she spouted off to tease me. Faith doesn’t have a clue that we’re together.”

“But--.”

“But nothing. Come here and let me finish. I had a point that I was getting at and I don’t know why this got so out of hand.”

“Spike--.”

“Come here. Now, Slayer.”

“Fine.” Sighing, she went into his open arms.

“This would’ve gone so much smoother if you were in your body,” he said in a soothing voice. “You would’ve mouthed off about Angel and I would’ve just taken you up against this wall. I’d fuck you quick and hard and then we’d run home and make love for hours on end. I’d keep you in bed and coming until you forgot your name, let alone my great ape of a grandsire.”

“Spike.” Blushing, Buffy buried her head against his chest.

“If you want to talk dirty, we can work on that, but I’d rather see you go red in the face than hear one syllable from that girl. Every word that Faith said wasn’t news to me. I know what your body can do; I’ve felt every muscle, touched every inch. You don’t have to ride me at a gallop to have me coming in the way that she described. Just entering your wet and willing body is enough to make me see stars.”

“I don’t know what to say...”

“A simple ‘I love you, Spike’ will be alright for now.” He brushed his lips against the skin surrounding her mouth until they both moaned in frustration.

“I love you, Spike.”

“And as soon as you get your body, you’ll show me how much?”

Buffy nodded and tried to smile, feeling silly with a bright flush still spreading across her face. “Until then, please leave Faith’s body alone.”

“That won’t be a problem. I want you and not just half the package. It’d be like opening a Happy Meal and finding that there’s no toy inside or vice versa, having all the inside parts, but no nifty cardboard box to put it all in. Now, shall we?” he said, gesturing to the ladder. “Ladies first.”

“Spike, don’t compare me to a Happy Meal. I know what you used to do to your Happy Meals with legs.”

“Look at you and your memory,” Spike chuckled, following her up the ladder. “For someone who used to hate me so passionately, you seem to recall all of our conversations.”

“You’ve said some memorable things,” Buffy answered, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Ah, I see...”

“No, you don’t! It’s different with Faith. She—God, I don’t know how to explain right now but, it’s just different.”

“I know what you’re getting at.”

Once aboveground, Buffy helped Spike climb onto the streets. “All that stuff you just said… I won’t be forgetting it anytime soon.”

“The bits that Faith said or…”

“The bits that you said,” she whispered, giving him a shy kiss on the cheek. “I can’t wait to get my body back.”

“I won’t be sleeping alone tonight?”

“No.”

They exchanged heavy stares until Spike asked, “On the way home, we’ll take the shortcut through the sewers?”

“You can count on it.”
***

“You assholes! Guys, if you don’t let me out of here, I’m gonna...”

“She’s been yelling hysterically since you left,” Giles said, closing door and cutting off Faith’s loud threats. “I decided that it would be best to lock her up just for some relief. She hasn’t been able to untie herself. The ropes were stronger than you thought.”

Spike nodded, his attention directed to Buffy, who was feet away, searching through Giles’ chest of weapons. “Buffy wants to kill her, you know that, right?”

“It seems like a normal response,” Giles replied, taking off his glasses and cleaning the lenses with a handkerchief.

“Normal, yes, but Buffy’s not a killer. If she kills Faith, it’ll eat her up from the inside out.”

“Are you going to talk her out of it?”

“There wouldn’t be a lot of talking involved, mate. It’d be more like me pleading and her laughing in my face.”

“Okay, I’m ready,” Buffy said, cheerfully. “You want to join me, Spike? I figure you can help with the Katra thingy and then hold her still while I chop her to bits--.”

“There will be no chopping, Miss Summers.”

“Who are you?”

“Is she in here, Rupert?” the British man asked, stepping past Buffy and ignoring her question.

“Yes, and she’s irate. Be careful.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got enough tranquillizers. She’ll be sleeping for days.”

“Giles? What’s going on? Is he—he’s from the Council, isn’t he?” Answering her own question with a whispered curse, Buffy instinctively stepped in front of Spike as a shield. “What is he doing here? Did you call him?”

“The Council is here only for Faith,” Giles explained after clearing his throat. “She’ll be airlifted to England, where she will be rehabilitated.”

“That explains the helicopters. You’re a dog, Watcher,” Spike mumbled, secretly pleased by the turn in events. “It looks like you won’t be butchering Faith today, pet.”

“The Council wants to send Faith to rehab…why am I not surprised?” Buffy huffed, crossing her arms. “Only they could think up such a stupid idea.”

“Buffy,” Giles said, looking anxious. “Faith shouldn’t be your responsibility, n-not to kill or to watch over like a child. Let the Council take her out of your hands.”

“We’ve tried rehab, Angel tried and it didn’t work. She can’t be helped unless she wants to change and she doesn’t. They can airlift Faith to anywhere in the world and I can guarantee that it’ll go bad somehow. She’ll never not be my responsibility, Giles. I’m the Slayer, when she messes up, I’ll be the first one that the Council calls to pick up the pieces, you know that.”

“Yes, but…”

“Okay, don’t make me separate you two.” Spike stepped between the arguing Slayer and Watcher to point to the room in which Faith was being held. “We have heavier issues at hand. Your Council guy is in there, all alone, with our loony Slayer still in Buffy’s body. Doesn’t anyone else see that as a reason to be concerned?”

Buffy looked at Giles one last time before nodding. “You’re right, we need to stop him before he gets too happy with his tranquillizers. When I get my body back, I’d like to be fully conscious.”

“Giles, get the Katra. Buffy and I, we’ll get this show on the road.”
***

“That’s it? The Council came, saw and took Faith away.”

“That’s pretty much all that happened, Xand.”

“Well, it’s that just anticlimactic!”

“I guess so,” Buffy laughed softly as she rested her head on Spike’s shoulder.

“I feel like I’ve been cheated. Here Faith woke up and did the wacky with your life and she gets no punishment, but a trip to England? Okay, let me see some hands. Who else feels like they’ve been cheated?” One by one each of the Scoobies raised their hands in agreement. “See, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Let’s call the Council back and demand a smack down!”

“Do you agree with them?” Spike whispered into Buffy’s hair. “Are you disappointed?”

“A little.”

“But at least you don’t have her blood on your hands.”

“Yeah, no more than when I stabbed her,” Buffy shrugged, running her fingertips up and down Spike’s forearm.

“At least we were able to bop her over the head,” Anya pointed out. “Giles wouldn’t let us poke her with anything pointy, but we could hit her over the head as many times as we wanted.”

“Is that true, Giles? No wonder my head hurts. Thanks for beating me up, guys.”

“We were hoping to keep Faith incapacitated...”

“We didn’t mean to hurt you,” Willow added, looking apologetic. “And for the record, I just hit you once. It was Xander and Anya who got carried away. And Tara, she passed on roughing Faith up.”

“I glared at her though. I gave her my best angry stares.”

“Thank you, Tara,” Buffy said, exchanging smiles with the quiet girl.

“Buffy, if your head is bothering you, I have some pain relievers. Would you like some?” Giles asked, already getting to his feet.

“Yes, please.”

“I think he feels guilty,” Buffy murmured to Spike.

“He has good reason to feel guilty. Does your head hurt that bad, pet?”

“It’ll be fine by tomorrow I’m sure. I’m just a little achey.”

“Want to head home?”

“I knew you’d be asking that sooner or later,” she laughed, scooting closer to him as they sat on the couch. “I knew that it was a matter of minutes.”

“Well, if you’re feeling achey… We could make a grand exit. I’ll scoop you up in my arms. I’ll carry you home…”

“That does sound nice,” Buffy sighed happily, leaning forward to kiss his lips. Not caring about their audience, she didn’t allow their lip lock to stay chaste for very long. Mere seconds went by before she was moaning loudly and sneaking her hands under Spike’s shirt. “God, baby, I missed being able to kiss you…”

“We’re going home.” Spike announced, easily gathered Buffy against his chest and rising to his feet.

“Here…here’s the medication for her head.” Eyes downcast, Giles offered two pills to Buffy, who swallowed them down without any water. “If you notice any discrepancies due to the spell--.”

“She’ll call,” Spike said, walking to the door.

“But…Spike!”

“Yeah?” He turned, surprised to hear Tara raise her voice. “You need something?”

“Spike, what—what about the project that you gave me and Will, don’t you want to k-know what we found out?”

From the look in Tara’s eyes, Spike suspected that the outcome of their research was not news that he wanted to hear. “Just, ah, stop by tomorrow? Close to sundown. Can you do that, love?”

“Spike, what project?” Buffy asked, once Spike continued to head out the front door. “Did I miss something?”

“It’s nothing, sweetheart. Let’s just worry about getting you home and tending to your acheys.”
***