Disclaimer: The only thing that’s mine is the story. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all its characters. The song “Haunted” is owned by Evanescence.

Author’s Note: This was my very first Spuffy fic that I wrote ages ago. The idea popped into my head while listening to Evanescence’s album “Fallen,” right after it first came out, if that’s any indication of how long ago I wrote this. I’ve revised it slightly to qualify for posting on this site, but otherwise it’s the same. Hope it is enjoyed by all who read.

Haunted
By Coquine

Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can’t find what keeps me here
When all this time I’ve been so hollow inside
I know you’re still there

He could feel her eyes on him. He bit his jaws together in an effort to stave off the feeling of his skull being drilled into from behind. She was just standing there, staring at him. Sighing heavily, Spike downed the rest of his drink in one gulp and spun around on his barstool. She was gone, but…

He stood and concentrated on the electric thrill that shot up his spine to settle at the base of his skull that always accompanied her presence. Oh yes, she was still there. If he concentrated he could even still catch her scent. He closed his eyes and allowed the feeling to lead him. Turn right, eight steps forward, around the corner. There. Buffy. Always her.

He had her memorized the instant he saw her. She stood, arms dangling at her sides. Blond hair pulled back. Black shirt. Black jacket. Worn blue jeans. Leather boots. Slaying outfit. He had intentionally stayed in tonight, hoping to stay out of her way. He just honestly hadn’t felt like dealing with her. Just for one night, he wanted to forget about how she consumed his every thought, wanted to forget how much he was drowning in her. So instead, he thought he’d drown himself in some bourbon, music, and the buzz of people at the Bronze. But that was not to be.

Instead, she stood not five feet from him, gazing back at him with hard hazel eyes. Not moving. Not speaking. But her very presence was teasing him. Taunting him. Haunting him. Drawing him in. He followed his feet as they closed the distance between them, until he was so close he could feel the heat radiating off her. His eyes remained locked on hers, and he took in her subtle reactions to his nearness. He could hear her breathing more deeply, see the color rise in her cheeks, feel the quickening of her heart. He knew he did these things to her, and took comfort in the fact that he had any effect on her when she affected him so completely. She was his everything. She was the everything. God help him.

Watching me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you
Loving you
I won’t let you pull me down

He slowly lowered his head to caress her cheek with his own. Yes, he loved this woman. Loved her with such an intensity that it frightened him. He was afraid of what that meant. Afraid that it would burn too brightly and consume him, if it hadn’t already. He heard her breath catch in her throat, before sighing a sweet stream of warm air against his neck. He inhaled deeply of her scent, savoring each individual aspect of her: her hair, her skin, her sweat, her sex, her breath, her blood, her life. His life.

He brought his face around in front of hers, his lips coming down to hers on the way up to meet his. So warm and soft and sweet. Just the gentlest of kisses. Then lips parting at the same moment, tongues meeting in the middle before once again retreating. The barest taste sent forgotten limbs into action, her hands coming up to grasp his face, fingers threading through the short hair on the back of his head, his arms reaching around her to press into the small of her back, between her shoulder blades, closing the little distance remaining between them.

He swore he would be scorched by the heat of the body pulled flush up against him, that their secret would be revealed by the fiery trails her mouth left behind on his neck, up his jaw, and back to his lips again. Mouths met again with tongues stroking each other, seeking deeper and deeper refuge within the others mouth. She would consume him, if he let her. And he always did.

He opened his eyes at the same moment as she, each searching for…something? He really didn’t know. He only knew her lips as they still caressed his, only knew her hands as they traveled down his chest and roughly stroked him through his jeans, only knew her eyes as they remained locked on his. He thought he moaned, but he didn’t know. He also didn’t know why she suddenly, but gently extracted herself from his arms and began taking slow steps backwards.

He did know he felt panic then. Did it show in his face? Was he so transparent? Of course he was. He didn’t give a damn. Sometimes he really wished he did, really wished he wasn’t completely wrapped around her powerful little finger. But now was not one of those times. Now he only knew that she had been kissing him, and now she wasn’t. Now she was slowly backing away from him. Too slowly. His desire-fogged mind finally realized he was meant to follow her. And what else could he do but?

They made their way to the back of the Bronze, the lights there decidedly dimmer than closer to the dance floor. She backed herself into a corner, disappearing completely in shadows, and he drew forward to join her there. She was leading him into the dark.

He was met with wall. Confused, he quickly turned around, and saw the back door slightly ajar. She was gone. Like the ghost she was.

No. He would not let her haunt him this time. He strode out the door and immediately caught her scent. He turned and followed it for about five blocks, never catching up with her, until he realized she wasn’t running away. She was still leading him.

He had been following her presence blindly for some time, when he again scented her. Not her trail to track. Her. She was close. He took in his surroundings, seeing nothing but grass and trees. They were in the nearby forests, possibly a park, but…no, the air was too clean to still be in the city. It made her stand out all the more.

Hunting you I can smell you - alive
Your heart pounding in my head

He began walking, slowly, each step bringing them closer together. She had stopped moving. He was suddenly overwhelmed by her, her scent, a mixture of exertion and adrenaline and arousal, the low thrum of her blood rushing through her veins was a constant in his ears. He looked up, and saw her straight ahead of him, maybe twenty feet away. Long strides closed the distance quickly, and he roughly grabbed her around the waist, pulling her flush against him. Both were breathing heavily, his control almost completely gone. He crushed his mouth to hers, desperate to taste her.

She moaned as he backed her up, slamming her against the nearest tree. Gone were the tender kisses of the Bronze, now only the burning passion that ached within, coming to the surface through frantic hands seeking contact with any part of the other’s body, mouths searching for each other to do battle with their tongues, teeth crashing together and scraping against lips, hands and arms wrapping around each other and holding so tightly it was like they were trying to meld into one body.

Dimly he was aware that he was moaning as her hands wormed their way underneath his duster, grabbing his ass and pressing her pelvis hard against his. Just as he was dimly aware that the only thing happening here was the vicious cycle beginning anew. He loved her. Wanted her so much. Knew she wanted him just as much, but also knew it was not for the same reason. But she did want him. And he was all too eager to give her what she wanted.

Watching me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me
Raping me
Watching me

He finally broke their frantic kissing to pull far enough away from her to get his hands between their bodies, sliding inside her jacket to stroke her breasts, pushing her shirt up to seek contact with her warm skin. He buried his face in the soft cleft between them, breathing her scent, pressing open mouthed kisses to the soft skin of the top of her breasts before dipping down and suckling them through the satin of her bra. She moaned in protest when he backed off, only to gasp and shudder with desire when he suddenly growled and grabbed the middle of the garment and roughly yanked it away from her body, breaking the elastic straps with an audible snap.

His mouth descended to her neck as his hands filled themselves with her sweet flesh, her nipples pebbling against his the rough skin of his palms. His lips roamed her neck, kissing, nibbling along the artery pumping beneath her skin. He felt her hands travel up inside his shirt, stroking up his back before grazing her nails back down. He pulled back to look at her face as her hands made their way to his belt buckle, quickly undoing it before opening his pants and drawing out his hard shaft. He groaned and touched his forehead to hers, her eyes rising to meet his as she gently squeezed him.

Never breaking their gaze, he slipped his fingers inside the waist of her jeans and yanked open the button fly, sliding his hand down her abdomen into the wet heat between her legs. She gasped and pulled his mouth down to hers for a bruising kiss as his fingers parted her silken folds and stroked right down the center of her, finding her clit with familiar ease before slowly rubbing back and forth.

He knew from her shallow breaths, the way she gripped his cock a little harder, kissed him a little deeper, that she was already oh so close. He knew her body so well, even if he could not know her heart. He knew every gasp, every quiver, every caress, and every sound she made. And he knew how do make her do all those things, knew what to do and when to do it to bring them both so much pleasure.

He slid one long finger inside her, rubbing her clit with his thumb as he slowly joined the first finger with a second, pumping into her once, twice, curling his fingers forward just a fraction on the third thrust, touching the spot within her he also knew so well, a fourth thrust and she was coming, clamping down around his fingers and keening against his neck as she clung to his shoulders with one arm, the other hand still holding him tightly. She pressed wet kisses along his jaw line before meeting his mouth, giving him kisses he would swear were grateful.

Unexpectedly she grabbed the lapels of his duster, turning them both away from the tree before falling backward, pulling him down on top of her. It was so sudden he didn’t even have time to break her fall with his own arms, but she didn’t seem to care as she bent her knees up and hooked her boots into the waist of his jeans, shoving them down his legs before they caught at his ankles, unable to get past his own boots.

Her passion was fueling his own, and his game face slid to the forefront before he realized it. He took one of her exposed breasts into his mouth, his fangs slicing effortlessly into the soft flesh around her nipple, making her cry out in a way that he knew meant she loved it. He suckled softly at the shallow cuts, moaning in ecstasy at the rare taste of her blood. They didn’t often venture into biting territory, and never on the neck…but it did happen. And every time it did, he couldn’t help but rejoice even as he mourned losing another small part of himself to her. Shaking the ridges off, he took her nipple into his mouth and bit down, working it between his teeth, teasing it with the tip of his tongue, before taking in as much as he could fit into his mouth and sucking hard, licking the entire areole before flicking at the nipple itself, his hand coming up to grab her other breast, pinching her nipple, overwhelming her with sensation until she cried out again as another small orgasm quaked through her.

She grabbed him by the ears and pulled him up for another kiss, her tongue licking at his lips before plunging into his mouth. She began trying to push down her jeans, which had slid down to her thighs, raising her hips to thrust against his as she attempted to free herself. Her actions nearly made his eyes cross, and he grasped the denim and yanked them down around her knees, her added kicking finally freeing one of her legs, and that was all she needed to wrap them around his waist.

He growled as he felt her heat and her wetness come in contact with his cool skin, then grabbed her thighs to push her just far enough away to position himself at her entrance. He looked up at her face, slightly contorted with pleasure and anticipation, waiting for her to open her eyes. She did, and then he thrust inside her in one long stroke, watching her reaction even as he knew she was watching his. They just gazed at each other, sharing the moment, familiar yet different every single time.

But he could not stay still for very long, and it seemed she didn’t want him to. He felt her legs tighten around him, pressing him just a little deeper inside her, then he withdrew almost all the way, his eyes drifting closed at the feeling of her sliding around him, and then driving forward and sinking all the way back in. She cried out, he growled deep in his chest.

He began the slow pace, sliding out till the tip of his cock was just barely inside her, then slamming completely inside her again. Each thrust hammered her into the ground, and she took it, loving every second of it, because he knew she felt it. He knew he made her feel. Just like she made him feel, feel more deeply than anyone or anything has ever made him feel. She was his salvation, right there between her legs.

Inevitably the slow and steady pace was not enough for either of them, and their kisses became more passionate, his thrusting increasing in speed and strength, and he rose up on his hands to gain more leverage. He could watch her openly from this viewpoint, watch as her face contorted in pleasure, watch her open her eyes and look at the point where they were joined, watching him move inside her. He could watch her breasts as they bounced in time with his thrusting, watch her chest rise and fall with her panting, watch as her eyes slowly made their way up his body before resting on his own face.

He placed his hand on her chest, between her breasts and above her heart, savoring the feel of her life beating inside of her, before sliding it down her stomach, down in between them to lightly rub on her clit. She moaned beneath him, and he felt her begin to tense up again, her inner muscles fluttering around his shaft, and he struggled to keep control, to wait for her. But she was so hot and wet, and god she just kept getting tighter and tighter as he continued to pound into her.

His arms began to shake, and he pressed his hand into her abdomen for leverage. Oh Christ he could feel himself. He pressed down a little harder, yes, he could feel himself inside of her, moving in and out. She began crying out every time he thrust into her, he was pressing himself into her g-spot through her abdomen, and she tightened impossibly around him, her teeth gritting together. He found himself crying out in time with her, their combined voices filling the silence of the forest, and he leaned forward to kiss her, pressing down even further on her belly, and then the world detonated around them, becoming everything and nothing all at once, and they moaned and gasped and cried out into each others mouths, swallowing each other whole. The waves of pleasure kept rising, crashing against them only to build up higher and higher, and then with one final shuddering gasp she gripped him tighter than ever, and he thrust into her deeper than he ever thought he could get, and exploded inside of her, pouring himself into her even as she contracted and quivered around him.

He collapsed on top of her, both of their bodies still trembling with aftershocks, muscles spasming. As he rested his head on her shoulder, he was dimly aware that she must have passed out, before closing his eyes and following her.

He was woken a very short time later, probably only minutes, when he felt her stirring beneath him. He rose up on his elbows just in time to see her open her eyes, still glazed and unfocused from the power of their climax. She blinked a few times, finally focusing on his face and he smiled softly. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to her lips, then pulled back to memorize the way she looked right then, hair tousled, face flushed, lips and neck marked by his kisses.

Slowly he withdrew from her, both of them shuddering at the loss, before rising to his knees and reaching forward to help her sit up. He would have loved to lay there all night, but he knew she would never allow it. Better to end it himself than have her reject him. He pulled his jeans back up and fastened them before kneeling before her to help her turn her pants leg right side out again. He reached forward to pull her shirt back down over her, and smoothed her hair back from her face as she struggled to get her booted foot back inside her jeans. Once she succeeded she lay back down to pull them up over her hips and fasten the buttons. He smirked as he only noticed then that she hadn’t been wearing any knickers.

She too got up to her knees and they both just sat there, in a not entirely uncomfortable silence. She was gazing up at the stars, he was gazing at her. He decided then that he had never seen her look more beautiful. The look on her face could almost pass for…peace. She must have felt his eyes on her because she glanced down to him and smiled softly, before sighing heavily and taking one last look at the sky before standing up, reaching a hand down to help him up. He took it and stood next to her, still clasping her hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze before letting it drop, then turned and began walking slowly, knowing she would follow him.

And so they strode out of the forest, side by side, eventually making their way back to the city, back to the suburbs, down Revello Drive until stopping in front of her house. It was late, and no lights remained on. But that was the usual sight that greeted her when she came home.

He looked over to her, and could tell that the effects of their coupling were wearing off. Her eyes were once again growing cold, her body language closing off. She met his gaze for a moment, before taking a deep breath and sighing.

“So I’ll talk to you later, then,” she said, as if they’d been conversing all night.

He smirked, making full note of the fact that those were the first words spoken between them the whole time they were together.

“Yeah,” he drawled. “Later.”

Then he took a hesitant step forward, before leaning down slowly to give her a peck on the cheek. He turned and walked away from her house, halfway across the street when he heard her call after him.

“Goodnight, Spike.”

“Goodnight, Buffy,” he called back over his shoulder.

He didn’t go straight home, instead going back to the Bronze for a few more drinks and walking the streets of the city, reflecting on the night’s events. As he made his way back to his crypt, he felt an electric thrill shoot up his spine and settle at the base of his skull. He smiled bitterly to himself, before stepping inside his crypt and waiting for his ghost to haunt him again.

Watching me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you
Loving you
I won’t let you pull me down