NOTE: This is the SECOND chapter posted since the site was fixed. You may have missed Chapter 10.



Chapter 11




William was beside himself the moment he felt Buffy’s anguish reverberate in his head. What upset him the most was that he couldn’t figure out what it was that was hurting her so much, no matter how hard he tried to reach out to her through their bond. He was about to jab his elbow into Spike’s ribs to alert him that something was wrong before rushing to her side, when the other vampire jumped out of bed saying, “I heard it, too.”


They ran to the living room and found their Slayer sitting on the floor, rubbing furiously at what seemed to be a never-ending stream of tears running down her cheeks.


Spike was at her side first, and he crouched next to her, holding her tight against his chest. “What is it, luv? What’s wrong?” She muttered something about stupid Brits, and he started raking his mind trying to figure what he or William could possibly have done to her. Seeing the letter in her hand, he reached for it but her fingers flexed around it and she bunched the paper up to prevent him from taking it.


William knelt in front of her and placed his palms on her knees tentatively. *Buffy,* he tried to get through to her, getting jumbled thoughts in return. Tightening his grasp on her legs, he tried again, *Buffy, what happened?* Giles’ face floated on top of her thoughts, then Wood’s. The First showed up, too, followed by a myriad of scenes from her life – some he’d been a witness to, others he hadn’t – that were too convoluted for him to attempt to make any sense of. *Kitten, help me out here. I’m getting vertigo.*


She wiped her nose on Spike’s shoulder, then cleared her throat. “I’m ok. It’s just this stupid letter.” Managing a better grip on her thoughts, she sent to William, *He’s sorry, about everything. Really sorry. I don’t want to forgive him. And apparently, I’m a sap.*


William let out a sigh of relief and cupped her face with both hands. *Who?*


Buffy didn’t realize she was talking out loud when she said Giles, until Spike erupted in a roar.


“I’ll kill him,” he said, straightening up.


“No, Spike. You don’t get it, Giles didn’t do anything wrong. Not now.”


Maybe it was the fact that her eyes were red, and tears were still pouring down her face, but he wasn’t listening to her. Instead, he was pacing up and down, ignoring the danger the rays of sunlight posed to him, and making Buffy cringe at the fizzing sound when one caught a lock of hair. “I’ll kill the sod. Violently.” He bounced on the balls of his feet, turning to face them fully vamped out. “I’ll rip him apart, limb from limb.”


William grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him back into the shade, but Spike was on full ranting mode by that time.


“He just won’t let go of who. I. Was.” His arms flew in the air in exasperation. “And no matter how many times Buffy saves the world, he’ll always make her feel bad for her choices. He should be one to talk. Pffft.” He held out his right hand, closed in a fist. “Among other things,” he stuck out his thumb, “he’s taken her girl-power away,” index finger, “he’s banged her mother—” Buffy’s eyes immediately widened in shock, and he mumbled apologetically, “Joyce told me when I told her about Dru.” Unfolding his middle finger next, he went on. “He wanted to off her sister,” ring finger, “turned people against her,” pinkie, “and tried to kill one of her allies.” He paused, holding his now open palm up, then added, “let alone the best shag of her life,” before spreading the fingers of his other hand too.


William chuckled when Buffy thought, *True. Cocky, but true*, and she frowned when she realized he’d heard her.


Blocking him out turned to be as easy as sending him an image of her closing her bedroom drapes. Satisfied he couldn’t know how bad she felt for only half listening to what Spike was saying, since she was too distracted by the vampires’ nudity, she turned to the bleached vampire, interrupting his tirade. “He apologized, Spike.” At the questioning look he threw her, she explained, “He took the blame for everything he’s done wrong where it comes to me and mine.”


Seeing Spike’s jaw clench at the last word, the reality of the previous night hit her again full force. Spike couldn’t stay. Spike wasn’t - couldn’t be - hers. Spike couldn’t be happy. A fresh bout of tears moistened her eyes, and her defensive mind-drapes were torn, flooding William with her grief.


Spike looked from one to the other, and he knew. Wagging his finger at William, he warned, “If you start cryin’ too, I’m walkin’ into the sunlight. I mean it.” Sitting down next to Buffy, he gathered her into his arms and started rocking her, all the time whispering soothing words. He didn’t realize that the more he tried to comfort her, the worse she felt for having to lose him all over again.


Brow creased in pain and deep thought, William left the room to make some hot chocolate.


And get the cordless phone.



~~~~~*~~~~~



Faith, of all people, was the one who finally made Buffy stop crying.


William had brought the Slayer the cordless to call Giles. Much as he resented how Rupert had treated Buffy and him in the past, he knew the man thought he was doing what was best at the time of making each and every one of his stupid decisions. He was sure the apology was sincere; it took guts and true remorse to put such admittance of wrongdoing in paper. He was also certain Giles loved Buffy as a daughter, and he’d hate for her to miss out on the opportunity to make her peace with her father-figure; he knew how it still pained him to have lost his mother the way he did, and Buffy had already lost so much.


The Slayer refused to make the call, despite the insistence of her lovers. She said things didn’t work that way between her and Giles; they were people of actions, not words. It’d take time to learn to trust him again, and right now it’d be a lie if she said she could forgive him just because he’d asked her to.


She was still sniffling and teary-eyed when the phone rang. William held the receiver out for her, and she took it reluctantly.


Her hello was too timid for Spike’s liking, but he perked up when her heartbeat became faster and her body went from limp to tense at the first words from the other end of the line.


“Hey B. Heard you got one hottie too many. Mind if I borrow the spare?”


The blonde’s nostrils flared and she pulled out of Spike’s arms, taking William’s hand to stand up. “Neither of them does easy, Faith,” she said in a bored tone of voice. “And neither is to spare. I need the two of them to keep me satisfied.”


Spike nuzzled her thigh, and William wrapped an arm around her waist, as if the other Slayer could see them and they wanted to support what Buffy had said.


“Does either do pregnant?”


“Oh my God, you aren’t!” Buffy squealed in delight, all bad things in life momentarily forgotten.



~~~~~*~~~~~


Faith and Buffy had managed to work a lot of things out after everything that had happened in Sunnydale. Maybe it was that Faith finally believed in herself enough to want to do the right thing instead of trying to get attention. Maybe she’d grown up, or maybe there were so many Slayers she finally realized the futility of competing for the first place. Whatever the reason, she’d been there for Buffy more than either had considered possible in the past.


She was now stationed in Cleveland, with a small troop of slayers under her care. And with Wood.


Watching the brunette’s relationship with him blossom had been hard for Buffy. She knew she wasn’t being fair, that she should be happy for her friend, but seeing the man who had tried to kill her lover be alive and in love, while Spike was dust at the bottom of a crater was too much to handle at times. Still, he made Faith happy, and Faith and happiness hadn’t been very mixy in the past, so Buffy put up with him, and in time started to even respect him. Before the two left for Cleveland, Wood had told her he could never like Spike, but he wished she hadn’t had to lose him. It was as close to an apology as she could ever have hoped for.


And now Faith would be a mom, God help her unborn baby.


By the time she hung up the phone, Buffy was ready to face not only Giles, but another apocalypse. Faith had just reminded her that while normal was out of reach for their kind, happy wasn’t. And there was no reason Spike couldn’t be happy, even if he had to go. It would take longer, and she’d miss him, but things would work out. They just had to.



~~~~~*~~~~~



Buffy, Spike and William had all left for the manor the minute it was dark enough for the vampires to be outside without danger of combustion. They’d decided they needed to share the latest Slayer dream with the gang and go through possible ways of returning Spike to where he came from.


Now they’d all been sitting in the living room, chatting idly and avoiding the subject of the alternate universe in need of a savior, for more than half an hour before Willow realized Kennedy hadn’t returned from patrol. Usually, she’d be worried sick, but knowing the brunette and her sulking, she was just somewhere licking the wounds on her ego and expecting Willow to go look for her. Willow would have none of that this time. Nope, this was the new and improved Willow. She was strong and self-assured, and didn’t need to put up with childish behaviors.


She must have been pouting because Buffy asked if she was alright, and this so wasn’t the time for people to be worrying over her instead of over the mess with Spike. “I’m fine. Just worried about Spike. We—we should be talking about what to do with him.”


Buffy’s face fell. She knew it was stupid to hope that not mentioning anything would make the matter go away, but stranger things had been known to happen. “Yeah… I know. Had a Slayer dream.”


Giles chose wisely not to inquire why she hadn’t shared this sooner. She hadn’t mentioned the letter, but she’d given him a tentative smile when he opened the door, and he would do nothing to risk the possibility of her ever forgiving him. He nodded, and asked, “Was it helpful?”


“I don’t know…” Buffy described as much of her dream as she could remember, hoping the group would make more sense of it than she and Spike had.


All their faces were perplexed by the time she finished. All but Dawn’s, that is.


“Maybe the you who’ll gain him isn’t you-you. Maybe it’s the other Buffy from his universe.” She shrugged. “Maybe it means he’ll be with her like you are with William.” She smiled at Spike, praying the hope she was giving him wouldn’t be proven false.


“But what about your sisters? The other ones?” Willow chipped in. “Do you think it meant Faith?”


Buffy refused to even entertain the thought. She wouldn’t bring Faith into it, not now that she was pregnant. She shook her head. “No, it must be someone else. It must have something to do with the Immortal saying something about dividing and conquering. Are all the girls accounted for?”


Giles assured her they were.


Willow scrunched up her face and changed the subject. “Ummm, so, the dream means we’re right, right? Spike has to go back.” Not waiting for anyone to reply, she went on. “But—but we can’t send him back. I mean, it’s not possible. Not without knowing where he came from.”


Buffy’s face lit up, but her glee only lasted for as long as it took to take a look at Spike. He seemed ready to vamp out.


Making a visible effort to keep his calm, the latter said, “I am goin’ back, whatever it may take, Red.”


Giles cleared his throat and they all turned to look at him. “I am going to talk to the Immortal,” he stated. “I can go there tomorrow morning and try-”


“Try what, Giles?” Buffy’s voice sounded hysterical to her own ears. “Try to force him to help? You’ll just get yourself killed.”


“He won’t kill me. Not when he could gain something by having you owe him.”


Ignoring the preposterous thought of owing the Immortal anything, Buffy tried for another angle. “We don’t know if he still lives where he used to. After I tried to slay him he may have moved.” She was clutching at straws and hoped nobody would call her on it.


Giles shook his head. “He will still be there. He’s too cocky to believe he’s really in danger.”


William and Spike agreed with him. Still, Buffy wasn’t sure whatever Giles had in mind would work and said so, only to be brushed off by the men in her life. Even Xander insisted Giles knew what he was doing, which Buffy took as an implication that she didn’t. She finally gave up arguing when her ex-watcher gave her a pleading look and said, “Please let me try it, Buffy.” His choice of phrasing indicated he wouldn’t go through with it without her approval.


She sighed and nodded. “Okay. But be careful. I know Adalberto isn’t known for getting his hands dirty, but I sincerely doubt there won’t be others around ready to do so for him.”


“I promise.” He took off his glasses. “Now, assuming we somehow find a way to return Spike to his universe, there is another issue, if he’s to thwart the apocalypse.”


“The soul,” Spike said grimly.


“The soul,” Giles agreed.


“Spike has to go to Africa.” Xander wasn’t asking, he knew the answer. “I can take a team of Slayers and come with you, man.” He was shocked by how much he really meant the offer.


Spike was equally shocked and couldn’t help but reach out and pat the other man on the shoulder. “You’ve grown up, Wh—Xander.” He was sure he wasn’t the only one amazed at the changes the one-eyed wonder had undergone. If he wasn’t mistaken, which he rarely was, his Nibblet had a crush on the carpenter-turned-hero. “But it doesn’t count if I don’t do it alone.”


Buffy’s mind was reeling. Spike was about to go through everything, again. For her. Well, another her, but still her. “Can I help?” she asked.


“You can’t,” William answered for Spike, giving her a sad smile. “Nobody can.”


“Well, someone might.” Spike looked at Willow who seemed too preoccupied to notice what they were talking about. “But not now,” he continued.


The rest of the evening went by with the group making plans they knew wouldn’t hold any water if the Immortal refused to assist them; how they’d made the other Buffy believe Spike was there to help, how maybe William and Buffy should go with him and then come back.


It was well after midnight when William suggested that he, Buffy, and Spike went home. They said their goodnights, and Willow stood to walk them to the door.


As Spike was crossing the threshold he whispered to her, “Front gate. One hour.”





Tbc.