All fun things must end and this is the final chapter of WWHH? Thanks to everyone who read and reviewied and special thanks to whoever nominated for Best Fluffy Spuffy and Best Romance at Spuffy Awards and Spark and Burn Awards!
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The characters still belong to Devil Joss.
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Last week Glory was defeated, Doris ran off without paying for her shampoo and set, Buffybot got confused, Spikebot got laid, Spike got forgiven and Doc lost his tail.
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Chapter 22 - Somebody Who


Buffybot perched on the steps leading up to the Balcony of Bad Books at the Magic Box where the group had returned to celebrate victory with mocha lattes and stale jelly donuts. She flipped through the pages of Anya’s Brides! Brides! Brides! magazine. There were many pages of pretty girls in white dresses.

“Rock!” Dawn and Dawnbot yelled in unison.

“Paper!”

Dawn and Dawnbot played rock-paper-scissors for the 198th time. When they both pulled the same hand signal for the 200th time, Buffybot got bored and turned to stare at Spike.

He looked so happy as he sat next to Buffy – the Real Buffy – and talked to her in a low voice. He looked even happier when Real Buffy stuck her hand in the back pocket of his jeans.

Buffybot felt sad. She loved Spike and Spike loved Real Buffy. Her thermal actuator hurt a lot and both of her eyes leaked.

Willow came down from the balcony holding a fat, black book behind her back and sat down next to Buffybot. “Hey Bee-Bot. Why so glum? We rescued Spike, got rid of the bad guy and saved the day. And, we’ve got a big old demon tail to stuff and mount over the cash register to discourage bad check writers.”

“I know. That is very happy news. Especially the rescuing Spike part.”

“So, why with the sad?”

Spike pinched Buffy on the butt under the table where the rest of the gang couldn’t see what he was up to, but Buffybot could see very easily.

Buffybot sighed. “Spike doesn’t love me. He loves the Really Real Buffy.”

“He loves you, too. What makes you think he doesn’t love you?”

“For one thing, you are wearing your Sympathy And Lying Face. And, another, I see the way Spike looks at her – Other Buffy, I mean. And, Other Buffy appears to be fixated on Spike, too.”

Willow looked over at the couple as Spike leaned forward to whisper in Buffy’s ear. Buffy blushed and slapped his hand playfully.

“Guess you’re right.”

“What should I do? I love Spike and Buffy loves Spike and Spike loves Buffy.” She didn’t have to mention that no one loved her, the Buffybot.

“Would you like me to fix you? So you don’t love Spike anymore?”

That didn’t sound like a good idea. If Willow took out the part that loved Spike, there would be a big empty spot. “If you fix me, I wouldn’t have anybody to love.”

“You could find somebody new. Somebody who would love you like crazy. The way I love Tara.”

“Oh.” She wanted to love somebody like crazy, but she’d always loved Spike. She didn’t know if she could love another somebody or if she even wanted to. Still, if Spike didn’t love her back, what could she do? “Can I think about it?”

“Sure. Just let me know.”

Watching Spike and Buffy together was too damaging to her thermal actuator so Buffybot slipped into the training room. To her surprise, she found another Spike. She looked back in the main room of the shop. Spike was sitting next to Buffy. She looked into the training room. Spike was punching the big grey bag. She didn’t think Spike could be in two places at once, even if he was sinister and hot.

“Look at you,” she said to Training Room Spike.

“Hey, Buffy,” Spikebot said. “Look at you. Are you ready to show me Positions 19 through 28?”

“Maybe only 19 through 21, until Willow replaces some of my parts. Are you in love with Buffy? The Other Buffy, I mean.”

“I don’t think so. Is there another Buffy?”

“Yes. I thought I was the real Buffy, but the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and I’m not exactly her.”

“You’re still a Buffy. Could I be in love with you?”

“I think you can. It would not conflict with your programming would it?”

Spikebot reviewed his programming. “You are already in my Friends of Spike folder. I think I can upgrade you to my True Love Folder, if you like.”

Buffybot put her arms around Spikebot’s waist and placed her head next to his thermal actuator. “I would like to be upgraded very much.”



Lydia Chalmers carried a long, cardboard box into Quentin Travers private office. “Package for you, sir.” She placed the box on his desk.

“Back so soon?” He opened the box. Inside the box Caladcholg lay sheathed in its silver scabbard. He drew the sword out of is scabbard and examined it. A beautiful sword. On the tempered steel blade was inscribed with drawings of a woman fighting a Hellgod. He returned the sword to its scabbard and closed the box.

“Return it to the safe, Ms. Chalmers. Until the next time.”

She placed the package in Travers’s personal safe behind a portrait of Queen Victoria, closed the door and spun the combination lock. In the dark of the safe, Caladcholg flickered tiny rainbow arcs and waited.




The End