Chapter 21


Weeks went by, and Groma, Kaia, and Buffy became accustomed to their new life. Gone was the stress of pleasing others, of doing the right things. They were happy.

During the first few days, Buffy showed Groma where things were in conjunction to their home, and they spent many hours discussing the incident with Kahn. Kaia’s memories of the event were almost nonexistent. Buffy told her what she needed to know, but had managed to spare her from experiencing the horrible event.

Groma worried about Kaia from the moment that Buffy had confirmed her worst fear, that they had been raped. Her next concern was the consequences of the act. Kaia was a woman now, but only in body. How would she deal with a pregnancy should it occur? She watched her daughter make fewer appearances within Buffy, making her wonder if Kaia was disappearing, or if the two were merging into one. Buffy had been there for months now, and had accepted her position as Kaia’s protector, but it was getting hard to tell Buffy from Kaia.

The girl she saw each day looked like her daughter, but she knew the confidence and strength she witnessed came from Buffy.

Groma had been counting the days, watching her daughter, worried that her monthly wouldn’t come. She knew Buffy was concerned too, even though she hadn’t said anything.

They had had a few clan members arrive, needing Groma’s medical advice and services, which Groma happily supplied. She was paid for her services with furs and hides, and even some salt. The woman was thrilled by what she considered wealth, having never been paid for anything before. It was obvious that many of the clan still feared Kaia, but they had trusted Groma all their lives, and with no medicine woman in the tribe anymore, they had nowhere else to go.

Buffy had become an excellent hunter since their move, and was able to bring home more fresh meat than the two of them could eat. Using the salt, Groma instructed Buffy how to preserve the meat for the upcoming winter months. Gone were the days that Buffy was timid about killing and cutting up the animals for food.

Buffy spent all her free time training; preparing Kaia’s body for any fight she might come across. She replayed Giles’ lessons as she explained things to Kaia. The girl was eager to learn about Slayers and vampires, but Buffy wanted to concentrate on her fighting skills. She knew there would come a time soon when she would have to take Kaia patrolling, to see her put her skills to the test.

On the fifth week after their arrival at their new home, Buffy woke up nauseous.

Groma watched as Buffy ran from the cave, and listened as she emptied the contents of her stomach just outside the entrance. Her hands shook as she waited for her to return, fearing the worst. Kaia’s monthly had been due the previous week, and it hadn’t arrived. Buffy had mentioned that maybe it was delayed because of all the training, or that she might be irregular since her body had just begun its cycle.

Buffy was leaning against the outside wall of the cave, shaking from the dry heaves that wracked her body. This wasn’t like any bout of the flu she’d ever experienced, nor did it feel like something she’d eaten hadn’t agreed with her. This was something entirely different.

“Groma…” Buffy called out to her, her voice wavering.

Immediately, Groma went to her, and helped her back into the cave. There was no fever, just a cool perspiration covering Buffy’s skin. The woman had Buffy lie back down on her hides, and went to make her tea.

Groma collected the herbs she needed to make her special tea—one she had used many times to ease nausea—when in the back of her mind, she wondered if she should make a different brew. There were certain herbs that were known to prevent pregnancy, or cause miscarriage, but she didn’t feel right giving the girl the tea without first discussing it with Buffy and Kaia. She boiled the water for her nausea treatment brew, and while it was steeping, went to talk with them.

As she walked toward Kaia, she saw the tears streaming down her face. There were no sobs, no gasping for breath, just silent tears. “Buffy?” she asked cautiously, unsure which daughter was upset.

“Yes, Groma. Kaia is here too. I’ve told her what we suspect, and she has an opinion you need to hear.” Buffy beckoned Groma to come sit closer, wanting her near as she told her of the talk with Kaia. “Groma, Kaia suspects she is pregnant, as do we.” More tears were wiped from her cheek as she continued. “She’s told me that you are able to stop the pregnancy, but she doesn’t want that. She wants the child.” Buffy’s tears flowed as she gave Kaia’s reasons. “Kaia feels like this will probably be her only chance to be a mother, especially since she is no longer considered a clan member. This is something she never thought she would experience, and she feels like the spirit guide has given her this child as a reward for her struggles. She knows how she got pregnant, and who the father is, and it upsets her greatly. But she feels the child is an innocent, and that it is part of her. She feels this child should have the chance to live, regardless of how it was conceived. She knows life will not be easy with a child, but this is important to her. She wants us to understand. She wants us to respect her wishes, even though this affects us all.” Buffy buried her face in the hide pillow, and sobbed. She didn’t want to be pregnant, to be a burden to Groma, to be unable to protect Kaia or Groma. Once more, she cried, feeling like she had let them down. She couldn’t prevent the rape, and now she felt like she couldn’t support Kaia’s decision.

Groma placed her hand on her daughter’s back, trying to offer her comfort, as her own tears fell. She knew exactly what Kaia was feeling. The older woman had never been considered attractive by the men of the tribe, and had not been offered marriage by anyone. If she had never found Kaia, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be a mother. Being a mother was something she coveted, and once Kaia had become hers, she had felt like she had fulfilled her one true wish. She couldn’t take this away from Kaia. She would support her, no matter what. That child would be loved. This child was family.

“Kaia, listen to me child. This is your decision, and we will support whatever you choose. You still have time to make your choice. For now, your body needs to drink and rest. Buffy, you will rest and let me take care of you for a change.”

Groma brought her daughter the tea, and a cool cloth to place on her head. Time was what they needed; time to see if there was definitely a child on the way, and time to see what Kaia’s final decision would be.


__________


With everyone gathered in the basement of Buffy’s house, Tara carefully brought the orb down the stairs with Spike by her side.

“Now that everyone is ready and understands what should take place, let’s begin. The orb should open the portal and keep it open until it selects the person best suited for the mission. Spike, would you like to select who goes first?” Tara looked to him for support.

“No problem, Glinda. I say we go age before beauty, putting Anya and Angel up to bat first. Let’s get that portal open.” Spike had been thinking about this since Tara had returned from the Oracles. He wanted to be the one to go and bring his Buffy back as quickly as possible, but he also wanted to protect her body in Sunnydale. Spike suspected it would be Tara that would be chosen; and knowing she was scared and probably thinking the same, he reluctantly decided to let everyone else go first.

Anya opened her mouth to protest the ‘age before beauty’ comment, but Xander nudged her, shaking his head, silently telling her to let it go.

Tara placed the orb in the corner where Buffy’s body had lain just a few days ago.

The swirling blue energy within the orb began to expand, making the orb appear to grow. It had nearly reached the floor above when suddenly—instead of a ball—it took the shape of a tunnel.

Anya stepped forward, releasing Xander’s hand. “Well, I know I’m the oldest, and I think I have the beauty too, so I will try first.” Stepping forward, she stuck her hand into the blue swirling tunnel, only to feel a barrier.

“Well? Can you go in there?” Xander asked nervously.

“No. There is something like an invisible wall here. Kind of like what a vampire hits when he tries to enter a house he hasn’t been invited into. It tickles a bit, too.” Anya continued to touch the inside of the tunnel, until Xander grabbed her and pulled her back.

“Ok, Angel. You’re up next,” Spike prodded the other vampire.

Angel was staring at the tunnel with amazement. “I thought we were going for ice cream. Cordy? When is it ice cream time?”

“This is crazy! Angel can’t be the one, he’s not himself thanks to Willow!” she said as she walked him over to the tunnel. “In here, I think. See if you can feel the ice cream, Angel.”

“Just see if he’s the one they choose. We can try to get him back to normal before he goes through. Just hold his hand,” Spike suggested, trying to convince Cordelia.

Angel stuck his hand in only to find the same resistance that Anya had. “Hey, there’s no ice cream in here.”

Cordelia shook her head. “Good, now let me try while I’m here. That way if it isn’t me, I can take him for his frozen treat.”

Spike waved his hand, signaling for her to go ahead.

Cordy wasn’t the one either. “Ok, then, Wesley, get over here and try so we can all go.”

Wesley walked past a giggling, bouncing Angel to the tunnel. “Should I be chosen, I promise to…”

Cordy pushed Wesley into the barrier, which he bounced off of roughly. “Hey! Oh, I guess I’m not the one either.” Wesley looked a bit disappointed. “So, ice cream it is.” Without saying goodbye, Wesley helped Cordelia get Angel up the stairs and out of the way.

Xander and Dawn were looking at Spike, waiting to be told who should go next.

“Xander, give it a go, will you?” Spike winked at Dawn. He hadn’t really thought about Dawn being the one chosen. Now he was worried. He thought all along it would be Tara, and he would take care of things here at the house, or that maybe it would be him and Tara would stay back to take care of Dawn and Buffy.

Xander walked over, stuck his hand in quickly and tapped on the barricade. “Nope, not me either.” He went back to Anya’s side and she hugged him tight.

“Thank the gods you weren’t chosen. You would never have made it.” Anya said, clinging to him.

“Hey! A little confidence, please!” Xander was embarrassed but relieved.

Dawn walked over to Spike. “Do you want me to go next?”

“No, Nibblet. Let’s let Tara go.” Spike gave the Wiccan a comforting glance. “Remember what we talked about,” he told her as she timidly approached the tunnel.

“You too,” Tara said, and pushed her arm inside the tunnel. She felt the same resistance everyone else had. Dropping her arm to her side, she turned to face the blond. “It isn’t me. I think you should go next, maybe Dawn won’t even have to try.”

Spike pulled them both into a hug, “You two are very important to me. If I go, take care of each other, as well as Buffy. Promise me.”

Both girls held him tight, not wanting him to go, but agreeing to his request.

Spike pushed them away slowly, and walked to the tunnel. Taking one last look at them over his shoulder, he stepped into the arch of blue light.

There was a loud pop, along with a blinding white flash, and he was gone, leaving the swirling orb in its original spot.