Beta'd by xaphania

“What do you mean 'the next and final apocalypse’? ” Angel asked, inching closer to the bar.

“Exactly what I said, Angel! If Spike and Buffy get back together, it sets off some big prophecy that will start an apocalypse in turn. I don't know what the prophecy is, I don't know if it’s destined to be, I just know that it will be of mucho badness if it happens.” Lorne took a big gulp of his drink, gesturing for Angel to leave so the green demon could rest his sore head. “I suggest you get your little gang on it, put Wesley the Watcher to work, tell him to look in his big book of prophecies. Now, I need to get me some sleep before I pass out. Buffy's reading was a doozie.”

Angel grumbled a goodnight before he left. He had so many questions, but he knew the Empath Demon was tapped for knowledge. Lorne was always forthcoming with answers, cryptic as they might be, but he was never wrong. Angel would just have to follow Lorne's orders and get Wesley on it.

Angel wasn't going to breathe a word of it to Giles, though. Angel knew that if Buffy's watcher found out, Buffy would be the next to know and Angel wanted to keep her in the dark until he found out more.

When he got to the hotel, he went straight to bed, ignoring Buffy's sobs as he tried to get some sleep. Sometimes, he wanted to just go into her room and hold her until she stopped crying. But he knew that she wouldn't accept his comfort. He knew that her heart was no longer his. All because of Spike, just like everything seemed to be, lately.

As Angel's eyes slowly drifted closed, he vowed to talk to Wesley in the morning. And possibly do a locator spell to find Spike. Angel was now dreading the possibility of Spike showing up here looking for Buffy. If Angel could get to the peroxide blonde first, he could take care of the whole prophecy deal and save the world in advance.

All he needed was a stake.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was dark around him, nothing but a big expanse of nothingness. He held his hands up to his face, surprised he could see his body perfectly, as if he wasn't affected by the blackness that surrounded him. He put his arms out in front of him, feeling each step he took so he wouldn't bump into anything.

With every step he took, it felt like he wasn't getting anywhere. Each step didn't matter; he was just standing in the same place. He didn't understand.

He gave up on walking and just stood in the darkness, waiting for something, anything, to happen.

“Hello?!” he called out, not even an echo responding. Nothing in this world felt real, and it chilled him to the core. He figured it must be a dream, much like the other ones he'd been having. “Whoever’s out there, I'd like to wake up now!”

Still, nothing responded.

He growled and closed his eyes in frustration, clenching his fists and jaw. “I don't care about your cryptic messages! I don't care about anything, just let me out of here!”

"But you can't leave. Not yet,” a gentle voice said from behind him. “You need to see.”

He spun around, coming face to face with more darkness. “Bloody hell,” he sighed, knowing it was no use trying to see anything. “Get on with it, then.”

"You need to see, Spike. You need to know."

“What do I need to know?!” He called out, trying his hardest not to vamp out. “Why're you callin' me Spike? My name is Matt!”

"Ah, yes." The voice giggled. "Zoey's husband. Do you really think that the woman you killed would want you to take her husband's name?"

Matt clenched his teeth, trying to ignore the pang of guilt that lanced through his body. "My. Name. Is. Matt."

"But you're Spike, you see. You've always been Spike.”

He was becoming very irritated with this voice, wanting nothing more than to wake up. He couldn't have helped his actions back then, he hadn’t had a clue what he was. The demon inside of him had been in full control, but now that Matt had learned how to control it, he hadn't killed another person after that night.

Suddenly, he started to feel warm as he was illuminated with light that came from behind him. He slowly turned around, afraid of what he would see. “I don't know any Spike,” he said cautiously, keeping the conversation going.

When he was finally facing the light, his breath caught in his throat. She was like an angel, her hair gently billowing around her as if a fan was strategically placed to make her golden locks stand out. He couldn't see any facial features, except for her eyes. Vibrant green eyes with flecks of yellow and brown bore down on him, making him want to weep. He fell to his knees as his body was filled with longing and love. It was like he was pulled to this angelic creature, like she was the path to his salvation.

“Who... who are you?” he asked, his voice wavering.

“I'm what you seek. I'm who you need to find out your past. Search for me, Spike. Look for the woman who holds your heart.”

As she started to fade away, he held his hand out to her, silently begging her not to leave. He wanted her to stay, to keep his cold body warm for just a minute longer. “Wait! How will I know where to find you? How will I know where you are?”

She never answered. Instead of hearing her voice, his head was suddenly filled with voices. Hundreds of voices that were chanting, whispering, screeching and filling his head with words. His hands came up to his ears as he crashed to the hard ground, curling up in a fetal position to try and drown out the voices.

'When the Killer of Slayers reunites with the Killer of demons,
Blood will be shared, Blood will be binding
Dimensions will bend and shift
And bring...'

Matt awoke, quickly sitting upright, panting for unneeded breath. He hated having these weird dreams, but they had been coming more frequently as time passed. This was the first time he had seen the actual form of the woman he spoke to. Or at least some of her, anyway. Usually she was just a voice, or a swirly ball of light, but this time she was almost real. All he had seen was her hair and eyes, but it was enough to make him yearn for her.

He needed to find her, to find out who he was.

He already knew that he was a vampire, he had figured that out the hard way. When he first woke up with this amnesia, he had searched for answers. Traveling the world for someone that could tell him who he was. He got the money to travel by stealing or doing odd jobs for cash. Sometimes he had to stow away in the luggage compartment of planes or ships for the further distances. He started out in England, and slowly worked his way to L.A., finding every psychic or wizard that could help him.

Finally, he found a Shaman in New York, some magical bloke who did a spell, to try and bring his memories back. But he had failed miserably, only hitting a block that even the most potent of magic couldn't break. The Shaman had revealed that he had a soul, though. One that was anchored and not cursed like that of Angelus. Matt had no clue who Angelus was, and the Shaman wasn't too forthcoming with the information, so Matt gave up and focused on who he was. The Shaman said something about an empath demon in L.A., so Matt started his journey.

He'd been in L.A. for a couple of days now, and knowing that he was a vampire with a soul, he sought to help people. Following his instincts and spending his nights searching for those who needed saving and demons that needed killing. He always knew that there was something missing, something that fit into his life and made everything complete. Made everything clear. But he never found it. He knew where to look now, though, and he had to find a certain empath demon to help him.

Deciding to stop thinking about the dream for now, Matt quickly had a shower and got dressed, sliding his Doc Marten’s and duster into place. The odd looking necklace, the duster and shoes were the only things that he had kept from his past, he had a feeling he was connected to the duster and necklace, for some reason.

And he just liked the boots.

He had changed his whole style from when he woke up, letting his hair grow out to its natural color instead of keeping the peroxide blonde color. He bought lots of new jeans and different shirts too, instead of wearing only one set of clothing every day. He thought that since his body didn't sweat, or do anything else that a regular human body would do, he thought he would save money on clothing.

Boy, was he wrong.

He found that wearing the same clothes every day was a good way to get unclean, very quickly.

Once he was dressed, he left his motel room, knowing that going out to continue his search would keep his mind off the weird dream.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy had slept all day, but for the first time in what felt like years, she woke with a smile. Spike was alive, and she had a chance of finding him. It was the one thing she had been dreaming about since the moment she’d left him behind in the collapsing Hellmouth. She could find him and they could be happy together. The one thing that was nagging at her, was why he hadn't tried to find her. If he was alive, shouldn't he be here, by her side instead of off somewhere else in the world?

That thought made her smile falter a little bit, thinking that maybe Spike had had enough of her, thinking he had already lost enough for her love, only to never gain it in the first place.

But she did love him! She told him so in that cave!

She sighed, remembering the last words he had said to her. 'No you don't, but thanks for saying it...' Stupid, stubborn vampire. If he had believed her, he would be here now, holding her as she woke up from a peaceful sleep by his side. But oh, no! He had to be all unbelieving.

She tossed her blankets off, her mind set on finding Spike and proving to him that she did love him. She didn't know how she would prove it, but when the time came, she'd do it. Anything to get him to be with her and stay for good. She needed him like she needed oxygen, and she wanted him now.

After her shower, she went downstairs to see what everyone was up to. She wanted to tell everyone the good news, but she couldn't find anyone. Even Andrew wasn't in the basement, and she knew he would be overly happy to hear the news. She was about to pick up the phone in the front office to call Giles when she heard two voices coming from Wesley's office.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I don't know what else to tell you, Angel. I have to transcribe the ancient text before I can tell you anything more.” Wesley said, eyeing the text. “I say it will take me about... a day or so. I'll go as quickly as I can, but I can't promise you anything.”

“Well, go faster, Wes! If I have to kill Spike, I will. But I have to find him before Buffy does.”

Angel sighed as he flopped down on the chair in front of Wesley, all but glaring at the man as he wrote out some words on a pad of paper. When Wesley raised his head, arching his eyebrow at the vampire, Angel shrugged. “What?”

“I can't concentrate when you're practically breathing down my neck, Angel!”

"I don't breathe." Angel said, matter-of-factly

Wesley rolled his eyes and groaned "I meant, figuratively speaking."

When Angel still didn't leave, Wesley glared at him, making the vampire's frustration grow. “Fine! I'll leave!” Angel barked, then lowered his voice. “Just please, work fast.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy heard Angel coming closer to the door, so she hid behind the pillar, watching as he stormed out of the office and up the stairs.

Angel wanted to find and kill Spike before she could even see him. That made her blood boil. No way was Angel going to take Spike away from her. Again. It was his fault that Spike had worn the amulet in the first place. If only she had let the broody vampire wear the shiny bauble instead of Spike...

'No use thinking about that now, Buffy. What's done is done,' she thought as she quickly and silently made her way to the front door, planning on starting her search for Spike now. 'Now, you just have to make things right, before things get worse...'

TBC