Chapter 28

Buffy sat staring at Spike after his statement. She knew him well enough to tell his tone indicated trouble. “I’m listening. I take it all is not great at home…” Before Spike could answer, she sputtered, “Is Dawn ok? Oh my God, I can’t believe I haven’t asked about her sooner. You must think I am a terrible sister.” Buffy hung her head briefly, embarrassed by her lapse in memory. Seeing Spike smile, she said, “Okay, enough about me and my faulty brain. Tell me everything.”

“Dawn’s fine. She’s with Tara and Giles. Oh, I forgot. Giles flew in to help out when the Powers That Be got involved,” Spike said matter of factly. He could see from the look on Buffy’s face that he needed to backtrack and start from the beginning.

He told her about Willow hiding her body in the basement, getting in way over her head, and now doing God-knows-what out at the mansion. He told her about Angel coming to Sunnydale after the call to LA had been made, and Willow’s subsequent spell on him. He was about to tell her about the Powers That Be, when Buffy suddenly began asking more questions in rapid fire succession.

“Is Tara okay? She must have been devastated. I knew Willow was getting into some very dark magick, but I had no idea she had crossed the line. Has anyone tried to talk to her? Is she going to be ok?” Buffy was deeply concerned for her best friend, feeling guilty that her request for help that had had pushed her to her breaking point.

Spike watched as tears swelled in the eyes of the young cave girl, but it was the Slayer he saw. “Buffy, it’s not your fault. You can’t save everyone, and she was deep into the dark magick when she brought you back. None of us acted on it then, or after you came back. We are all to blame, not you.”

Buffy saw the genuine concern on his face as he tried to comfort her. She knew he was right, but couldn’t help but feel like she was to blame. Willow was her best friend and she had not noticed how close she was to losing her sight of what was right and wrong. Her request had been the event that had caused the redhead to fall into the world of evil. She could almost feel the amount of trouble Willow was in. “No one has been able to reach her, have they? Has she… hurt anyone… yet?” She feared Spike’s answer, but knew she was probably the only person now who could pull her back. She needs me…

Spike watched as the multitude of emotions washed over the Slayer. She was torn between her own needs and those of her friends. He wanted to hold her but wouldn’t make a move unless he saw it was all right with her, so he’d try and comfort her with words. “Don’t worry about that right now. In your condition you need to try to not get upset.” They really needed to talk about that, as well. “I need to know what you want to happen with this pregnancy, because we will have to get back to Sunnydale. I’m not sure what the Powers That Be have lined up, but they, too, seem to want you back in our world.”

“The Powers That Be? Did you talk to the Oracles? Wow, I haven’t even talked to them before. What did they say?” She was a little jealous, but the fact that they wanted her back made her feel needed. She liked that feeling. She also was proud of Tara’s new assertive attitude. It had always been a shame that Tara’s inner strength had remained hidden for so long. Once more, a wave of pride washed over her as she thought of Tara’s friendship.

“Wasn’t me they spoke to. Was Glinda. She’s the one who figured they’d be able to help us find you. But they weren’t exactly clear on their instructions. Made us all try to enter the portal. Peaches looked ridiculous, especially after Willow’s spell.” He explained how Tara had taken control of the situation and had worked with the Oracles, trying to get information on how to get Buffy back, and how Angel had been given Willow-watch and been zapped.

“I can’t believe I’ve missed so much.” Buffy hung her head once more, tears streaming down her face. “I’ve been so busy here, I never really thought of everything that could be going on at home.”

Spike finally gave in and pulled her close once more. “Pet, I don’t want to hear another word about it. You need to rest, and I am here to see to it. Now, tell me what needs to be done before everyone turns in.”

Buffy explained their normal routine, and showed him how the door she had fashioned worked to hide them at night.

The two ended up sitting on the ledge just as the sun was starting to set.

“Buffy?” Spike knew they had very little time left alone before the sun set, and wanted to take advantage of it. He took her small hand in his, turning it over and felt amazed that even though it wasn’t the Buffy he remembered, he knew with all his heart it was truly her.

Buffy squeezed his hand, knowing what he wanted to ask her. “I don’t want the baby born here, Spike, but I can’t leave Groma alone. I love her and need her as much as she needs to be with her daughter. We are family. I don’t think she could pull off living in Sunnydale with all the wackies around. I just don’t know what to do. I’m torn between my two worlds, and I’m going to be a mother soon in one of them.” Buffy suddenly got quiet, unsure of what Spike would say to her regarding keeping this baby. Looking to the stars, she seemed to be searching for answers.

“My love, my life, I will support you and be with you no matter what you choose. If we’re to stay here and I’m to start wearing a loincloth while helping you raise this child, so be it. If you want, we’ll go home, and the loincloth will be strictly for private time, my offer still stands. If you will let me, I’ll be the best father I can be to this child.” Spike lifted her hand and gently placed a kiss on her palm.

Buffy was speechless. She’d dreamed of this moment, panicked about this moment, but most of all, had prayed to anyone that would listen to her hopes and wishes of how this would play out. She knew this would be difficult, because of their lifestyles, and she knew her friends would have problems with it too when they got home. Screw it, and them. This is what I want and it’s what’s best for us. Choked up, she spoke to him. “I know things are not ideal, or normal, but I want nothing more than to have this child, and share all that comes with it, with you.”

Spike rose, offering a hand to his love. “Come inside, Kitten. We can work out all the details of our family in the morning.”

Buffy stood on her tiptoes, and gently placed a kiss on his lips, leery of his reaction to being kissed by her while she looked like someone else. The moment their lips touched, Spike knew he was home. The woman in front of him looked like someone he’d never met, but this was the woman he never wanted to spend another moment away from. The woman who was willing to share a child with him; to give him a gift he never thought he would have after all the years he lived, nor all the years he had left. His arms found their way around her, and he returned her kiss. Home, was the only word he knew to describe the feeling.

Groma and Hourak saw the two kissing with the sun setting behind them, and marveled at the tenderness of the moment. Hourak slowly reached for Groma’s hand, and was surprised when her hand met his half way. The tender moment had not been lost on them.