Neutered What?

"She was what?"

"Studying them. She wants to write a paper or something about the 'other cultures' in Sunnydale." Buffy rolled her eyes as she reported their encounter with Dr. Inkfell to Giles.

"Why doesn't she just talk to those wankers that turned me into a bullock?" Spike growled. "They've done enough experiments on demons to fill two or three books."

"I don't think Dr. Walsh wants to share," Willow said quietly from where she was staring at her computer screen.

"Dr. Walsh? Psych professor, Dr. Walsh? Our psych professor?"

Willow nodded and turned the laptop toward the room. To her surprise, the only one who actually came to look at it was Spike. He peered at the page and then smiled at Willow.

"Pretty impressive, there, Red. Is that witchcraft or the other kind of magic?"

"Other magic?" Buffy looked back and forth between them, her brows creased.

Giles answered for Spike: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Someone said that, although I am ashamed to admit that I don't recall whom."

"Arthur C. Clark," Spike filled in.

Buffy's eyes were as wide open as they could be without risking eyeball fallout.

"Ooookay. This is just scary. Spike and Giles - speaking the same language?"

As if suddenly remembering his big bad persona, Spike stepped away from the table and shook his head.

"Jus' something I remembered," he said quickly. "Probably ate a nerd at one time or something."

Giles continued to stare at the vampire with narrowed eyes, bits and pieces of previous conversations and outbursts from Spike coming back to him. Vowing to look more closely into the history of William the Bloody once he had a chance, he turned to Willow.

"What have you found?"

"Well," she said with a proud look at Spike, " I was able to break into the University's system and into the encrypted files. All of them."

"Does that mean you can see grades and change them?" Buffy's interest perked up, fading when Willow gave her a severe look.

"It does, but I won't, so you just need to study, missy!"

"I knew that," Buffy mumbled, sending Giles an apologetic shrug. "I was just asking..."

"Sure you were, Slayer."

Buffy shot Spike a murderous glare, which only made him grin, and then turned her attention back to Willow.

"Then what did you find?"

"Professor Walsh has a lot more going on than just a couple of freshman psych classes," Willow began. "She's in charge of something called "The Initiative", which is located somewhere on campus, although I haven't figured out just where yet...." She looked at Spike and almost rubbed her chin speculatively. "Maybe, if Spike can look at a map of the campus and we can figure out exactly where he got out..."


"What has this to do with that other woman's foolish desire to study demons up close?"

"Oh, nothing, really. It's just that, with all this secrecy and stuff, I doubt that Professor Walsh is talking about her experiments in the teachers' lounge. Dr. Inkfell probably has no idea that someone else is studying demons--" She paused and gave Spike a sympathetic glance. "From a slightly different perspective, maybe..."

Spike snorted and shook his head.

"Yeah, those sadistic gits aren't interested in demon 'culture'. All they care about is what they can make you do, and what it takes to kill you." He narrowed his eyes at the three humans staring at him with various expressions of mild dismay, if not quite sympathy. "This Professor Walsh, what does she look like? Kind of mannish? Nasty piece of work that can't smile unless she's torturing something?"

Before either Willow or Buffy could respond, Giles spoke up. "That would be her - quite the harridan, I would say."

Buffy slumped down in the chair she and Spike had shared just a few days ago.

"Great! The only class I was really enjoying, and the professor turns out to be some secret mad scientist. Just my luck..."

Willow's muffled giggle brought a glare from Buffy and puzzled frowns from the two Brits.

"Care to share, witch-woman?"

Ignoring Buffy's glare, which really wasn't all that intimidating, coming from someone who was also rolling her eyes, Willow said, "Buffy's kinda dating the TA from that class. And he seems really close to Professor Walsh, so..."

Spike's quiet growl went unnoticed by anyone except Buffy who gave him a questioning look. He shrugged and turned away, putting his hands in his pockets and trying to appear uninterested in the conversation.

"So, you know this young man outside of class?" Giles pursued, choosing to ignore the byplay between his slayer and the vampire. "What do you know about him?"

"Well..." Buffy thought hard. "...He's big, and very fit, and all his friends are too. He lives in a frat house with...with a bunch of other older looking guys who all have short haircuts and muscles, and... Crap!"

"Crap?"

Buffy went over to Spike and tugged on his arm until he turned around.

"Tell me again about how you got... taken. And how you got out. What did they look like?"

"Overfed ninjas," he growled. "Everybody I saw was either a lab rat or some kind of soldier."

"Would you recognize one if you met him?"

"Wasn't exactly taking names, pet," he said, shaking his head. "Was more interested in getting out of there with all my parts intact." He rubbed the scar on the back of his head and sighed. "Not that I seem to have made it with all of them intact."

"If you had, Buffy would have staked you by now," Giles pointed out mildly. "You should be grateful for your...um...status as a 'bullock'."

"Grateful!" Spike's snarl split the air and had Buffy reaching for her stake. "Let someone cut off your balls and see how grateful you feel, Watcher."

Buffy and Willow blanched.

"They cut off what?" Buffy squeaked.

"He is speaking metaphorically, Buffy," Giles assured her. "At least I think he is..."

"Of course I am, you bloody pillock. If they actually had cut-- I'd have staked myself by now."

"I'm confused," Buffy confessed. "Did they or didn't they? And what has any of to do with being some kind of cow?"

Spike rolled his eyes and stomped to the door, holding it open and waiting for her to join him.

"I'll explain it in small, one-syllable words, Slayer. While you show me where this house is that you seem to know so much about."

Still frowning, Buffy followed him out the door. "We'll come back with more information...I think," she shouted over her shoulder as she saw Spike disappearing down the sidewalk and hurried to catch up with him.


~~~~~~~~~

"So. Cows. Balls cut off. Overfed ninjas. Spill."

He shook his head. "A bullock is a neutered bull. I'm neutered; I can't kill - can't be a real vampire. Whatever they did to my head that makes it explode when I even think about hurting someone... It changed my life. I can't be what I was."

"A stone cold killer," she said, her lips tight. "Pardon me while I don't feel all that sorry for you."

"Tell me, Slayer," he said in a conversational tone, "how would you feel if you couldn't defend yourself? If you were suddenly normal, or worse yet, unable to even fight back normally?"

Buffy remembered her Cruciamentum and how helpless she'd felt while under the influence of the drugs. She remembered her first contact with the Master and how he'd controlled her with a flick of his wrist.

"Okay," she said softly. "Point taken. You can't defend yourself - but you can't kill either. You can't expect me to think that's a bad thing!"

"Guess not," he replied. "But since I can't defend myself..."

"Is that why you came to me-us?"

"You're the one whose job it is to protect the helpless, yeah?"

"Whatever, Spike. You're not helpless. You could buy blood. You could get minions to kill for you... You don't need me."

He shrugged and slowed his march towards the campus.

"Maybe not," he admitted, "but you were the first person I thought of. After I got over thinkin' it was you what set me up, anyway."

"Me? Why would you think I...!

"Moment of weakness, luv. Was watching you when they nabbed me. The last thing I saw before I got zapped, bagged and tagged was your pretty little face while you dusted some unsuspecting git that thought he'd found a meal. Thought maybe you'd been the bait that got me trapped."

"That's why you came to my dorm room - you were pissed off at me!"

"Was. Was going to do Red when it turned out you weren't there, but that's when I started to learn about my handicap. Ended up talking to her instead of biting her... and then the soldiers busted in and...." He turned to look at her. "And you kicked their asses and I got away."

"I wasn't trying to save you, you know. It was Willow I was trying to protect."

"I know, but you helped me out anyway. Wouldn't have done that if you'd been the one to set me up. Cleared my eyes, it did."

Buffy made no comment, just pointing to the right in the direction of Fraternity row. Lowell House was at the end of the street, set off by itself some distance from the rest of the campus. They stopped in the shadow of a clump of trees and stared at it. She could see that Spike recognized it.

"So," Spike said, tension making his voice quiver. "That's where I got neutered?"

"We don't know that for sure," Buffy said quickly. "And could you please stop referring to it as 'neutered'? Makes you sound like somebody's dog." She flushed, grateful for the darkness as she continued under her breath, "And I know damn good and well you aren't actually 'neutered'."

His rich chuckle sounded right in her ear as he whispered, "Guess you do at that, pet. Didn't think you'd want to admit you noticed."

"Hard to miss something that big poking me in the butt all night." No sooner had the words left her mouth, than Buffy groaned and clapped her hand over it. "Oh God, I didn't really say that out loud, did I?"

Before the laughing vampire could prolong the embarrassing conversation, Buffy grabbed his sleeve and dragged him towards the seemingly empty house.

"Come on, we've got ninjas to spy on."

"Right behind you, pet," he said, pressing against her back.

"No poking."

He leaned down and whispered, "Not even a little poke? What if I can't help it?"

"I have one word for you, Spike—neutered."

"Right. No poking. Got it." He straightened up and soundlessly followed her into the shadows around the quiet house.