Admitting her feelings to the girls had been the first step, but there was still a long way to go. Buffy's emotions ran the gamut as she headed for the door -- pain, anger, betrayal, love…love being the most foreign emotion for her at the moment. Leaving the house, she headed for the one place and the one person who could give her the answers she so desperately sought. She stalked through the cemetery, focused on the task at hand and wondered if—perhaps—she'd lost her last chance. Maybe she'd finally done it, pushed him over the edge. It appeared as though she had, but she needed to be sure. She wanted to make her feelings known; then and only then could they both maybe find some peace.

Opening the crypt door with her usual flourish, she found him sitting quietly in the dark, a bottle by his side.

She stood in front of him and demanded answers.

"Why were you there?" She hesitated briefly before asking the only question that really mattered. "Did it mean anything to you?" Buffy was terrified of the very answers she demanded.

"Well hello to you too, and what are you on about? Why was I where?" Spike tilted his head slightly. His curiosity was piqued.

"Don't play dumb with me, Spike. I saw you...kiss her." Buffy was shaking, trying desperately to control her voice.

"How the bloody hell did you see that?" Spike said, shocked she'd witnessed his mistake, yet at the same time, some part of him was glad.

"Remember the garden gnome camera? Well, it turns out there were more cameras -- courtesy of the nerd trio." Buffy eyed him coldly.

"I didn't know you cared, Slayer." Spike glared at her, trying desperately to cover his true feelings. He'd borne the weight of their relationship these past months, and it had left him broken, both mentally and physically. He looked directly at her as he spoke. "You want the truth? I was there for a spell, and no, the kiss meant nothing to me. It was about two people searching for solace in their grief, but it didn't work. I felt even worse after, like I'd betrayed you, even though you left me."

Buffy didn't quite know how to respond; she knew his feelings about the use of magic. Though she was thrilled to hear the kiss had been a mistake, the pain of seeing it live and in color was all too real. She just couldn't shake the image in her mind, no matter how hard she tried.

"Were you planning to cast a spell on me?" she asked incredulously.

"No, I wasn't planning to cast a bloody spell on you… was for me! I wanted the pain of loving you to go away, even if just for a while. I couldn't bear it! That's what brought Anya and me together." His voice, which had begun as shouting, was now down to a mere whisper.

"Of all the stupid, idiotic things! You went to a vengeance demon looking for a spell to stop the pain of loving me! But, no you couldn't stop there; it wouldn't be complete. You had to get drunk and kiss her too!" Pacing the length of the crypt and taking a well-needed breath, she began again. "Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you could have caused? I don't even want to imagine the effects of drunken spell casting and vengeance wishes! I mean come on, what were you thinking? Wait, let me guess; you weren't thinking at all! You were just reacting; things didn't go your way, so you think you can fix them with another one of your hair-brained schemes! As if that doesn't cover all the insanity bases, you top it off by kissing my friend!" This time her voice was just an octave higher, as she seemed to be unraveling before his eyes.

All the pacing was making him dizzy, so he stood, putting his hand on her shoulder effectively stopping her.

"Buffy, luv, why are you here? I mean I can't be your favorite person just now. Have you come to stake me? Is that it? It's not like I don't deserve it, I guess," Spike said dejectedly, not meeting her eyes.

Buffy turned to face him. Reaching out, she tipped his chin to meet her eyes, now brimming with tears.

"No. No, I'm not here to stake you. That's the last thing I want to do. I'm angry and hurt, but there are things I need to tell you. Things I've kept from my friends, you, and even myself. You've been the only one who's truly been there for me, who's asked for nothing in return, and I've continually used and abused you, giving you nothing in return."

"I think I've gotten my fair share, Slayer." Spike smirked

Buffy huffed and went on. "Would you let me finish, please? This is hard enough without the innuendo. Yes, I know I've given you sex, but I've never given you myself. I've kept you in the shadows, on the fringes. I couldn't even admit to myself how I felt about you, so how could I let anyone else, even you know. Until tonight when I saw that video, and I thought my heart would break into a million pieces. I couldn't breathe. The pain of that nearly brought me to my knees."

Buffy took his strong hands in hers, looking at him pleadingly. "I was forced to reexamine my feelings for you. Spike, you make me angrier than anyone I know. You also make me happier than anyone else ever has. If that's what love is then I think I've fallen in love with you, and if you still want me I'd like to give us a try. No hiding – no secrets."

Spike had been looking at her wide-eyed throughout her speech. Unbidden tears ran slowly down his cheeks. He'd dreamed of this moment thousands of times, and now he was paralyzed with the knowledge of her words.

"So, what do you think? You're scaring me. Don't just stand there. Please say something."

His brain was running a million miles a minute. He was absolutely gobsmacked.

"Sorry, luv. It's just taking me a bit to process all you've said. Still can't quite believe it. I want to, but with everything that's gone on…I guess I'm in shock. You really mean what you said? 'Cause if you don't please tell me now, before I make a fool of myself."

She cupped his cheeks, clearing his tears with her thumbs.

"Spike, I promise, I really do."

He grasped her waist, bringing her in for a passionate, yet tender kiss.

"I love you, Buffy, so much. I'm so sorry for putting you through all this. You know I'm yours. Just tell me what you want."

Buffy leaned into his warm embrace.

"Spike, I want us to be happy, but I want to take things a little slower this time around. I want to get to know you, the real you. Is that okay?"

With a look of pure adoration, Spike answered, "Yes, pet, I think that can be arranged."