Author's Notes: I got a gorgeous spanking new banner made by xaphania. Thank you so much for making it!!! And I know William still has his brown curls, but I couldn't wait to show it to you guys. Anyway, who knows... he might get bleached in the next chapter. ;)





Chapter 12


Buffy didn’t know how much time had passed since she’d dragged herself to her room. It felt as if she’d been staring at the ceiling forever, feeling sorry for herself and stubbornly keeping up the denial of his death. Because if she stopped pretending, if she finally admitted to herself that there was nothing she could do to change it, she’d break down.


Getting up from the bed, Buffy trudged across the room until she reached her suitcase. Buffy hadn’t even touched the things in it that Faith had packed up from his room. She hadn’t been able to open the suitcase since the night it all happened and, her heart skipped a beat as she knelt down.


Her fingers stilled at the zipper before she set her face in determination and opened it. Buffy’s breath hitched in her throat as she slowly took out a t-shirt and brought it to her face.


William’s scent was still all over it.


One day, even the scent would fade away and all she’d have left of him would be the sharp pain in her heart and memories that would slip from her unwilling grasp as time went by. She couldn’t stand the thought of it. That one day she’d wake up and realize she couldn’t remember how the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. How he ducked his head when embarrassed or tilted it to the side as he watched her with softness that made her feel loved. More loved that she’d ever been in her entire life. Most of all, she couldn’t imagine not remembering what his lips tasted like and how just the sound of his voice made her feel warm and safe.


She loved him.


And he was dead.


Lifting a hand to brush the hair away from her face, Buffy touched the wetness on her cheeks. She sat there for a second, startled. She hadn’t realized she’d been crying. Feeling the evidence of her grief, breathing in his scent from the t-shirt she was clutching, made something inside her break. The carefully constructed denial crumbled as the tears flowed from her eyes.


Buffy sobbed.


Loud, gut wrenching sobs that left her gasping for air. Her body felt too small to contain the sudden enormity of loss. The pain was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. They might as well have ripped apart her soul for the emptiness his death had left behind.


Buffy barely noticed as Faith grasped her shoulder and led her to the bed. She drew her into her embrace, and Buffy accepted the comfort even if it didn’t lessen the suffocating pain.


Her sobs subsided after a half hour out of sheer exhaustion, leaving a headache behind.


“Giles is worried about you,” Faith said hesitantly. “So am I. You’ve been so closed off. It’s good, you know. Letting it out. Means you’re on the right path to heal.”


Buffy gazed at her with bloodshot eyes. “I don’t want to heal. I can’t let him go. I never will, doesn’t matter how much it hurts.”


Faith knew Buffy would have to let him go eventually, but refrained from saying so. And offering empty sympathy or cheesy phrases designated to make Buffy feel better would lead nowhere. Now wasn’t the time. The only thing Faith could do was be there and support her.

“I know, B. Come on, let’s grab something to eat. Giles can actually cook something other than fish and chips.”


She rose from the bed when Buffy grabbed her wrist and looked up at her. “Thanks.”


Faith stared. She wasn’t used to being thanked by anyone or deserving it in the first place, and it left her feeling oddly uncomfortable. “It’s fine.”


*********


A couple of weeks later, Buffy strolled through a cemetery with Giles at her side.


“I still don’t see why you’d go with me,” Buffy said as she scanned her surroundings.


“I’m your Watcher and it is my duty to-”


“Watch? Don’t worry. I wasn’t planning on skipping my duties to go clubbing instead. Not exactly that much into having fun lately.”


Faith had repeatedly asked her to come with her to a nearby club. Dance. Have a few drinks on a false ID. Not that Buffy had one. The prospect of being around so many people and having a good time didn’t sound appealing at all. Not the way it used to.


“I wasn’t referring to you abandoning your duty in order to go… clubbing. I’m here to guide you. To help you.”


“Giles, you don’t have to look after me. I can take care of myself. You know I could lift you with barely any effort, right?”


“Be that as it may, you’re still new to this. You haven’t learned all the techniques and-”


“One thing I learned in the past couple of weeks? It’s not about technique.” Something tugged at her stomach as a shiver ran up her spine, and Buffy swirled on her feet in time to see a fumbling fledge make his way towards her. She didn’t hesitate for a second and sent the stake in her hand flying straight into the vampire’s chest. He let out a snarl before his dust settled on the grass. “It’s about instinct.”


Giles fumbled and took off his glasses to clean them. “T-that was quite extraordinary.”


Buffy smiled weakly and retrieved the fallen stake. “Not really. I could feel him sneaking up on us.”


“On the contrary. You’re saying that you’re already developing the ability to sense them?”


Buffy frowned and glanced at him from the corner of her eyes as they walked. “I guess. Isn’t that a good thing?”


“Of course it is. I’m just very pleasantly surprised. To be honest, I was expecting you to be more headstrong and resistant about being the Slayer. Your school records suggested you are quite willful. The longer one denies what they are, the longer it takes to gain all abilities.”


“This is my life now. I can’t change it or turn back time. All I can do is be the best I can.”


She didn’t tell Giles how she sneaked into the training room at nights to get rid of the feeling of being helpless by working out until she couldn’t anymore. How much she relished hunting the demons down and landing the killing blow. The power it filled her with. Because every time she slew one of them, the guilt in her soul for not being good enough to save him eased for a little while. For a few seconds, when her very essence was filled with the adrenaline of revenge, she could find peace.


It was personal. It was a demon that ripped apart her world and every single one of them would pay. She wasn’t naïve. On some basic level, Buffy understood that Slayers never lived a long happy life. Their lives were short and violent. Despite being afraid, she knew that being normal would never offer her the opportunity to make a difference. To kill as many of them as she possibly could. When she had her revenge, only then could she finally breathe.


Giles smiled at her, not having the heart to tell her the news. She’d have to be more than the best to survive what was coming. The notorious Aurelians were in the country. And they were painting it red.


********


A week earlier


“Why are we here again?” Darla scowled and looked up at the abandoned school building.


“Got some business that needs finishing,” William said impatiently and strode forward, the two women trailing behind him.


Drusilla caught up to him and caressed his arm. “Can you hear the birds singing, my William? They told me the naughty headmistress was hiding.”


“She can bloody well hide, but not forever.”


William had developed a soft spot for Dru. He didn’t love her, but her deceptive frailty made the caring side of himself emerge. It felt good to be needed. Even if Drusilla was the most wicked and twisted creature he’d ever met, she was still like a child in many ways. Darla though, was anything but a child. She was cunning, ruthless and merciless.


He pushed the door open and entered the empty building. The oppressive scent of the place he’d barely registered as a human hit him full force. Fear. Death. The memories of the last time he’d been here flickered in his mind. The look on Buffy’s face as they dragged her away.


Clenching his jaw, William stepped towards the staircase. “I’ll be back in a mo. Just need to grab some stuff.”


“Don’t worry. We’ll find a way to amuse ourselves,” Darla said and dragged Drusilla with her.


*********


His room was empty. Even his clothes and books were gone. Someone must have thrown them out since the whole student body seemed to have disappeared. Probably relocated somewhere else.


'Guess a couple of deaths would finally ring the warning bells.'


It was a shame though. He wouldn’t mind making a few of his ex schoolmates suffer, some more than others. They had certainly relished making his life a living hell, even going as far as insulting Buffy once they found out she was his girlfriend. He no longer valued human life. He was still William, but it felt like the darkest parts of his psyche came to the forefront. The demon in him reveled in blood and screams of terror with no regret.


He wouldn’t find anything here. Better go find Darla and Dru before they set the school on fire from boredom.


His sneaker clad feet hit the carpet in the hallway as he walked swiftly towards the stairs. He was passing a room when he faltered. Buffy’s room. He’d never been there, but her unmistakable scent still lingered around the place.


'God, her scent.'


His hands shook badly as he reached for the doorknob and pushed the door open. Empty, just like his. William crossed the threshold and walked towards her bed in a haze. Her absence slammed into him and his knees buckled. Burying his face in the pillow she’d left behind, he trembled. The comfort her scent provided was short lived when he remembered Buffy was dead.


His tears soaked through the pillow as he wept, but he couldn’t seem to stop. With Drusilla and Darla always around, it took everything in his power to control his emotions. The deep sadness was a constant pressure on his nonexistent soul, but he refused to cry. If one either of vampires ever saw him show such human weakness, he’d probably find himself brutally beaten by one of Darla’s favourite whips.


But now that he was here in the solace of Buffy’s room, the control snapped under the pressure of denying grief for so long. The tears poured out of his eyes so hard it was useless to try to wipe them off.


Something peeked from the half closed drawer of the bedside table and he reached inside to pull it out. It was a hair tie. One she’d worn quite often until he found the courage to start taking it out of her hair so he could run his hands through her silky strands. Just like she’d always pulled off his glasses.


It was the only thing he had of her and he would be damned twice if he let anything happen to it. William tucked it into the safety of his pocket and went to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water.


*******


“Where have you been for so long? We’ve got a present for you,” Drusilla said with a wide grin and clutched at his hand before dragging him behind her as she ran down the corridors.


William entered the headmistress’ office with a frown. Surely she wouldn’t have stayed here when all the authorities were after her.


Darla circled the chair and turned it around so he could see the occupant tied to it. Sallie Bennett. She had circles under her eyes, and the hair that used to be so pedantically immaculate was sticking out in several directions as she tried to talk through the fabric stuffed in her mouth.


“She likes to play. Hide and seek. Hide… and… seek,” Drusilla whispered into his ear.


Darla scowled at the old woman. “We found her cowering in some ‘secret’ chamber. It was disappointing, really. I thought we’d find some young student--those are always fun--but this one isn’t exactly fresh. I’m not eating something so old.” Darla grabbed the letter opener resting on the table and handed it to William. “Maybe you can deal with it.”


“God, yes. We’ve got a score to settle, Miss Bennett and me. Isn’t that right?”


The evil woman was responsible for what had happened. A blurry memory of her voice ordering the demons to take him pushed to the forefront.


He glanced at the letter opener and tossed it away. “I’ll need something bigger.” He glanced around and spotted an iron spike resting against the fireplace. He couldn’t imagine why she’d have it in her office, but it would suit very nicely for what he had in mind.


He shifted to his vampiric guise as he stalked towards her with the spike in his grasp. Her eyes were wide with terror and it only spurred him on. The rage sparkled and flared as he finally reached her and looked her dead in the eye.


“People say that vengeance is a dish best served cold. You know what, I rather like it white… hot.” With that, he rammed the spike into the headmistress’ gut. The blood spilled forward on his hands, warm and delicious. Human blood. He took the spike out and untied her. With a laugh, William yanked her up and shoved her hard to the floor, the violent motion snapping her ankle. Her screams were muffled by the gag in her mouth, only urging his demon on. It felt so good to make her suffer.


“I rather like this side of you, William. Looks like you are worthy of our name after all,” Darla purred as Drusilla licked the side of her neck.


He knelt down and caressed Miss Bennett’s face with the rusty iron edge before trailing it down to let the tip rest against the hollow of her throat. The pulse beat wildly beneath the weathered skin. Her hands clutched at the wound in her belly and William grinned. He was familiar with the pain of slowly bleeding to death. Let her feel it.


“See you in Hell,” he said and rammed the spike into her throat. The blood spurted from the gaping hole and sprayed his face.


William licked his lips and smirked.


TBC