Thanks to my wonderful betas, Dawnofme, Marilyn, and Tanit. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. It was a very difficult one to write.


Downstairs, the bedroom was lit with the soft glow of the many candles placed around the room. They stood facing one another, Spike's eyes shone with a depth of awe and wonder for the woman he loved. He could only stare at her, enamored by her beauty. He thought of all the times he'd dreamed of having her come to him like this, but this was truly better than anything he could ever have imagined.


Buffy gazed back at him, her eyes full of love and a small smile on her face. Without saying a word, she began to unbutton her blouse, letting it fall to the floor. She toed off her boots, followed by her jeans, leaving her standing before him in only the wispy bits of lace that made up her bra and panties.


Spike snapped out of his stupor, coming forward to pull her to him for a hungry kiss. Caught off guard, she responded in kind when he grasped her ass, pulling her closer to him. Feeling the evidence of his arousal against her stomach, Buffy wrapped her leg around his and ground against his thigh. He moved from her mouth, kissing a path down her jaw line to her neck.


Buffy felt like she was on fire, but she remembered her plan and gently pushed him away. One look at his face, and she knew she'd hurt him. She quickly spoke to alleviate his pain.


"Spike, you're misunderstanding me. I don't want to stop. I just want to do things differently. Will you let me do that for you? For us?"


"Buffy, sweetheart, I'll do whatever you want. I'm yours." Spike smiled as he tucked an errant lock of her hair behind her ear.


Spike's actions made her think about how she'd cut her hair to spite him. Fingering a lock she said, "I'm sorry for cutting it, you know. I did it just to piss you off. Another thing in a long list of things to be sorry for." She bowed her head and looked away ashamed.


"Nothing to be sorry for. It's over and done with. I love who you are, not your hair." He gently took her chin and forced her to meet his gaze.


"I love you, too. I still can't believe how you've taken so much crap from me and you're still here. It's more than I deserve." She caressed his cheek, gazing deeply into his eyes.


"That's where you're wrong. If anything, I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you." Spike rested his forehead against hers as stroked her shoulders.


"No more of that. We love each other. We both deserve to be happy and that's that! Now, I believe I was in the middle of something." Buffy bit her lip, giving him a coy smile.


"Like I said, I'm all yours." Spike held his hands up in mock surrender.


Buffy appraised his clothed body and set about her work. Spike could see she had seduction on her mind, yet her eyes held a bit of mirth as well. He was eager to see what she had planned.


First, she untucked his t-shirt from his jeans and quickly stripped him of it. She ran her hands over the smooth muscled expanse of his chest. She licked one flat nipple to hardness before nipping it with her teeth. Spike groaned and this encouraged her further in her task.


Next, she knelt at his feet, removing his boots and socks. Unbuckling his belt caused Spike to inhale and groan. Her hands worked deftly to undo the buckle. All that remained was the fly of his jeans. With one tug, the button popped open, leaving his hard cock free to her touch. Buffy took it in one hand and cupped his balls with the other. She placed open-mouthed kisses with alternating licks on the head and underside.


"Oh, Buffy! Love your mouth…feels so good." Spike's hands were in her hair, not forcing her, but merely feeling her.


She eased back a bit, placing one last kiss on the tip, before helping him step out of his jeans. They walked to the bed, hand in hand, and she turned back the covers, motioning for him to lie down. Buffy could barely stand. Her knees were wobbly and she could feel her own arousal. She never knew giving pleasure could be such a turn on. She wasn't sure how much longer she would last.


He sat on the edge of the bed as he pulled her to him. "I've noticed something. Things aren't exactly equal here." He opened his arms wide, displaying his body.


"I don't understand." She arched her brows, running her finger down his chest.


"I mean, I'm starkers here, luv, and you're still wearing what counts in some circles as underwear." He smiled, tracing the outline of one of her breasts through the lace.


Buffy laughed, momentary tension draining from her body. "I think that can be easily remedied," she said, as she began to remove her bra and panties. "Is that better now?"Transfixed, Spike gazed at her; she was breathtaking. His gaze slid from her beautiful face to her breasts, which were high and firm, the nipples pebbled, down to the thatch of curls on her mound glistening with her arousal.


"Much. I feel like we're on equal footing now, but I'd rather have you off your feet and in my arms." Giving her a sexy leer, he tried to pull her onto the bed, but his efforts were futile.


She pushed him back against the pillow. "You just lie back and relax. Let me do all the work. I want to get to know your body like you know mine. Can you do that or do I have to tie you up?" Her tone was playful, but he could tell she meant business.


Lying back with his hands behind his head, he gave her a roguish grin. "I think I can mind my manners, for a while anyway." He waited to see what she would do. He'd never seen this playful side of her in the bedroom, and he definitely liked it. He wanted to see more.


Buffy moved to the foot of the bed, surprising him, but he kept his mouth shut. She picked up his left leg in one hand and began to massage the calf in deep, soothing strokes, with his foot cradled in the other. She brought the foot cradled in her hand to her mouth, tracing the arch with her tongue and kissing his toes. She then switched legs and repeated the process.


Spike was babbling incoherently. Never in his life had someone taken the time to know - what he wanted, what he liked. Hell, he had no idea his feet were an erogenous zone, but what Buffy was doing was driving him crazy!


Slowly she crawled up the bed and settled herself on his thighs; he could feel her arousal, and it drove him closer to the edge as he struggled to maintain control. She began to place ardent kisses on his chest and further down toward his navel, never touching his cock.


"Buffy, please, can I touch you? I know I promised to let you explore, but this is killin' me." Spike's voice was hoarse with need.


Buffy understood and acquiesced. "Yes, Spike, please touch me."


Almost before she could get the words out of her mouth, he'd pulled her body flush with his, crushing his lips to hers, his tongue seeking entrance. Buffy responded, opening her mouth to receive him, grasping his shoulders for purchase.


Suddenly, she found herself flipped. Spike was now above her, propping himself on one arm. He took an earlobe between his teeth, whispering endearments in her ear. Things she'd never allowed him to say before, and it felt wonderful. He moved down her neck dotting it with kisses and nips, while his other hand was busy with one of her breasts, kneading the supple flesh and pinching the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Buffy was so aroused, she thought she might come from the sensation of that alone. She could feel his cock pressing hard against her thigh and her only coherent thought was how she desperately wanted to make love with Spike for the first time.


"Spike, please, no more waiting. I want you… now." Buffy was unable to keep the pleading tone from her voice.


"I'm never one to keep a lady waiting." He smiled knowingly and gave one nipple a playful bite.


Buffy mewled and opened her thighs wider. He positioned his cock at her entrance, but she took him by surprise by arching up and taking him in; it took his breath away.


"Jesus! Buffy….give me minute. God, luv, you feel like heaven! Give me a second or this is gonna be over before it starts."


Buffy felt whole. She reached up to touch his beautiful face. "I'm ready whenever you are. You just feel so wonderful. It makes me want to move."


Leaning down, he began to pepper her face with kisses as he began a slow tortuous rhythm. He pulled almost all the way out before forcefully plunging back in, while Buffy met him thrust for thrust. Her internal muscles squeezed him almost to the point of pain, but it was a wonderful sort of pain he reveled in. Their mingled cries and groans echoed throughout the room.


Spike moved his free hand to Buffy's breast, rolling and pinching it between his deft fingers. He kissed and nipped a path down her neck, across her collarbone, down to her other breast and began to lavish it with attention. He gently tugged at her nipple with his teeth, causing Buffy to raise a hand to his head to draw him closer.


This tortuously slow pace was killing her. She thought she might die from the ecstasy of it all. "Harder…faster…I need…" Buffy's had never felt this way before. She'd never let herself be so open, so vulnerable. Her body was on sensory overload.


"Hush, Buffy, I know what you need. Let me love you. I've waited so long. I promise it will be worth it." Spike's voice was soothing as he brushed her hair from her flushed face.


How could she deny such a request? She pulled his face down for a kiss, at the same time positioning her legs higher around his waist for deeper penetration. With the new angle, it wasn't long before she felt her climax approaching. Spike could sense it as well. With two more thrusts, her internal walls began to spasm, sending them both over the edge with mutual cries of satisfaction.


Afterward, they lay wrapped in each other's arms, just enjoying the feel of one another. Spike's arms were around her, Buffy's head pillowed on his chest.


"I never knew it could be so wonderful. I mean, that was so amazing." Buffy kissed his chest while tracing idle patterns around one of his nipples.


"I thought so too. I know you wanted to make love to me, and I loved every minute of it, Buffy, but giving me a chance to share my love was equally as special. No one has ever let me love them like that." He pressed a soft kiss against her temple.


"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was kinda nervous. I hope I didn't freak you out or do something wrong. I love you. There's no other place I'd rather be." She sighed contently and snuggled deeper into his embrace.


"I feel the same way, and don't ever be nervous or think anything we do is wrong. We're adults, and as long we're both consenting and enjoy what's takin' place, there's nothing wrong with it." Spike pulled the covers up to keep them warm.


Buffy stifled a yawn then kissed his chest. "I hope you don't mind if I rest for a minute. You kinda wore me out."


Spike spooned against her. "Go right ahead, I'll wake you before it gets too late." He stroked her hair, grateful for the time he had with her.


"Why? I'm not going anywhere. I told Dawnie and the girls I was staying the night." Buffy turned to him, smiling when she saw the look of surprise on his face.


It was finally starting to sink in. She really meant it. She wasn't hiding their relationship. "Well in that case you'd better rest up, luv, because I've got plans for you." Mischief sparkled in his eyes.


Buffy giggled. Spike didn't think he'd ever actually heard her make that sound before, and it was delightful. He hoped it was something he'd hear regularly.


"Oh you do, do you? And would you mind telling what these plans of yours are?" She propped her head up with one hand and raised her eyebrows, pushing an errant curl from his forehead.


Spike gave her a teasing leer and tapped her on the nose. "I'm more of doer than a teller. You'll just have to wait and see."